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Dialogues on the Supersensual Life
Now when the Spark of the Love of God, or the Divine Light, was accordingly manifested in the Soul, it presently saw itself with its will and works to be in Hell, in the Wrath of God, and found it was an ugly, misshapen monster in the Divine Presence and the Kingdom of Heaven: at which it was so affrighted, that it fell into the greatest anguish possible, for the Judgment of God was manifested in it.
What Christ saidUpon this the Lord Christ spake unto it with the Voice of his Grace, and said: Repent and forsake Vanity, and thou shalt attain My Grace.
What the Soul saidThen the Soul with its ugly misshapen image went before God and entreated for Grace and the pardon of its sins, and came to be strongly persuaded in itself that the satisfaction and atonement of our Lord Jesus Christ did belong to it. But the evil properties of the Serpent, formed in the Astral Spirit, or Reason, of the outward Man, would not suffer the Will of the Soul to come before God, but brought their lusts and inclinations thereinto.
But the poor Soul turned its countenance towards God, and desired Grace from him, even that he would bestow his Love upon it.
The Devil came to it againBut when the Devil saw that the Soul thus prayed to God, and would enter into repentance, he drew near to it, and thrust the inclinations of the earthly properties into its prayers, and disturbed its good thoughts and desires which pressed forwards towards God, and drew them back again to earthly things that they might have no access to him.
The Soul sighedThe central Will of the Soul indeed sighed after God, but the thoughts arising in the mind that it should penetrate into him, were distracted, scattered and destroyed, so that they could not reach the Power of God. At which the poor Soul was still more affrighted and began to pray more earnestly. But the Devil with his desire took hold of the kindled, fiery Wheel of Life, and awakened the evil properties, so that evil or false inclinations arose in the Soul, and went into that thing wherein they had taken most pleasure and delight before.
The poor Soul would very fain go forward to God with its Will, and therefore used all its endeavours; but its thoughts continually fled away from God into earthly things, and would not go to him.
Upon this the Soul sighed and bewailed itself to God; but was as if it were quite forsaken by him, and cast out from its Presence. It could not get so much as one look of Grace, but was in mere anguish, fear and terror, and dreaded every moment that the Wrath and severe Judgment of God would be manifested in it, and that the Devil would take hold of it and have it. And thereupon fell into such great heaviness and sorrow, that it became weary of all the temporal things, which were before its chief joy and happiness.
The earthly natural Will indeed desired those things still, but the Soul would willingly leave them altogether, and desired to die to all temporal lust and joy whatsoever, and longed only after its first native country, from whence it originally came. But it found itself to be far from thence in great distress and want, and knew not what to do, yet resolved to enter into itself, and try to pray more earnestly.
The Devil's OppositionBut the Devil opposed it, and withheld it so that it could not bring itself into any greater fervency of repentance.
He awakened the earthly lusts in its heart, that they might still keep their evil nature and false right therein, and set them at variance with the new-born Will and Desire of the Soul. For they would not die to their own Will and Light, but would still maintain their temporal pleasures, and so kept the poor Soul captive in their evil desires, that it could not stir, though it sighed and longed never so much after the Grace of God. For whensoever it prayed, or offered to press forward towards God, then the lusts of the flesh swallowed up the rays and ejaculations that went forth from it, and brought them away from God into earthly thoughts, that it might not partake of Divine Strength. Which caused the poor Soul to think itself forsaken of God, not knowing that he was so near it, and did thus attract it. Also the Devil tempted the poor Soul, saying to it in the earthly thoughts:
"Why dost thou pray? Dost thou think that God knoweth thee or regardeth thee? Consider but what thoughts thou hast in his presence; are they not altogether evil? Thou hast no faith or belief in God at all; how then should he hear thee? He heareth thee not, leave off; why wilt thou needlessly torment and vex thyself! Thou hast time enough to repent at leisure. Wilt thou be mad? Do but look upon the world I pray thee a little; doth it not live in jollity and mirth, yet it will be saved well enough for all that. Hath not Christ paid the ransom and satisfied for all men? Thou needest only persuade and comfort thyself that it is done for thee, and then thou shalt be saved. Thou canst not possibly in this world come to any feeling of God, therefore leave off, and take care for thy body, and look after temporal glory. What dost thou suppose will become of thee, if thou turn to be so stupid and melancholy? Thou wilt be the scorn of everybody, and they will laugh at thy folly; and so thou wilt pass thy days in mere sorrow and heaviness, which is pleasing neither to God nor Nature. I pray thee, look upon the beauty of the World, for God hath so erected and placed thee in it, to be a Lord over all Creatures and to rule them. Gather store of temporal goods beforehand, that thou mayest not be beholden to the World, or stand in need hereafter. And when old age cometh, or that thou growest near thy end, then prepare thyself for repentance. God will save thee, and receive thee into the heavenly mansions there. There is no need of such ado in vexing, bewailing, and stirring up thyself, as thou makest."
The Condition of the SoulIn these and the like thoughts the Soul was ensnared by the Devil, and brought into the lust of the flesh, and earthly desires; and so bound as it were with fetters and strong chains that it did not know what to do. It looked back a little into the World and the pleasures thereof, but still felt in itself a hunger after Divine Grace, and would rather enter into repentance and favour with God. For the Hand of God had touched and bruised it, and therefore it could rest nowhere; but always sighed in itself after sorrow for the sins it had committed, and would fain be rid of them. Yet could not get true repentance, or even the knowledge of sin, though it had a mighty hunger and longing desire after such penitential sorrow.
The Soul being thus heavy and sad, and finding no remedy or rest, began to cast about where it might find a fit place to perform true repentance in, where it might be free from business, cares, and the hinderances of the World; and also by what means it might win the favour of God. And at length purposed to betake itself to some private solitary place, and give over all worldly employments and temporal things, and hoped that by being bountiful and pitiful to the Poor, it should obtain God's mercy. Thus did it devise all kinds of ways to get rest, and to gain the love, favour, and grace of God again. But all would not do; for its worldly business still followed it in the lusts of the flesh, and it was ensnared in the net of the Devil now, as well as before, and could not attain rest. And though for a little while it was somewhat cheered with earthly things, yet presently it fell to be as sad and heavy again as it was before. The truth was it felt the awakened Wrath of God in itself, but knew not how that came to pass, nor what ailed it. For many times great trouble and terror fell upon it, which made it comfortless, sick, and faint with very fear; so mightily did the first bruising it with the ray or influence of the stirring of Grace work upon it. And yet it knew not that Christ was in the Wrath and severe Justice of God and fought therein with that Spirit of Error incorporated in Soul and Body, nor understood that the hunger and desire to turn and repent came from Christ Himself, neither did it know what hindered it that it could not yet attain to Divine Feeling. It knew not that itself was a monster, and did bear the Image of the Serpent.
An enlightened and regenerate Soul met the distressed SoulBy the Providence of God, an enlightened and regenerate Soul met the distressed Soul, and said: What ailest thou, thou distressed Soul, that thou art so restless and troubled!
The distressed Soul answeredThe Creator hath hid his Countenance from me, so that I cannot come to his Rest; therefore I am thus troubled, and know not what I shall do to get his Loving-kindness again. For great cliffs and rocks lie in my way to his Grace, so that I cannot come to him. Though I sigh and long after him never so much, yet I am kept back, so that I cannot partake of his Power, Virtue, and Strength.
The enlightened Soul saidThou bearest the monstrous shape of the Devil, and art clothed therewith; in which, being his own Property or Principle, he hath access or power of entrance into thee, and thereby keepeth thy Will from penetrating into God. For if thy Will might penetrate into God, it would be anointed with the highest Power and Strength of God, in the Resurrection of our Lord Jesus Christ; and that unction would break in pieces the monster which thou carriest about thee; and thy first Image of Paradise would revive in the Centre; which would destroy the Devil's Power therein, and thou wouldst become an Angel again. And because the Devil envieth thee this happiness, he holdeth thee captive in his Desire in the lusts of the flesh, from which if thou art not delivered, thou wilt be separated from God, and canst never enter into our Society.
The distressed Soul terrifiedAt this speech the poor distressed Soul was so terrified and amazed, that it could not speak one word more. When it found that it stood in the form and condition of the Serpent which separated it from God, and that the Devil was so nigh it in that condition, who injected evil thoughts into the Will of the Soul, and had so much power over it thereby that it was near damnation and sticking fast in the Abyss or bottomless pit of Hell in the Anger of God, it would have even despaired of Divine Mercy; but that the Power, Virtue and Strength of the first stirring of the Grace of God, which had before bruised the Soul, upheld and preserved it from total despair. But still it wrestled in itself between Hope and Doubt; whatsoever Hope built up, that Doubt threw down again. And thus was it agitated with such continued disquiet, that at last the World and all the glory thereof became loathsome to it, neither would it enjoy worldly pleasures any more; and yet for all this could it not come to Rest.
The enlightened Soul came again, and spoke to the troubled SoulOn a time the enlightened Soul came again to this Soul, and finding it still in so great trouble, anguish, and grief, said to it.
What dost thou? Wilt thou destroy thyself in thy anguish and sorrow? Why dost thou torment thyself in thy own Power and Will, seeing thy torment increaseth thereby more and more? Yea, if thou shouldst sink thyself down to the bottom of the sea, or fly to the uttermost coasts of the morning, or raise thyself above the stars, yet thou wouldst not be released. For the more thou grievest, tormentest, and troublest thyself, the more painful thy nature will be; and yet thou wilt not be able to come to Rest. For thy Power is quite lost, and as a dry stick burnt to a coal cannot grow green and spring afresh by its own power, nor get sap to flourish again with other trees and plants; so neither canst thou reach the Place of God by thy own power and strength, and transform thyself into that Angelical Image which thou hadst at first. For in respect to God thou art withered and dry, like a dead plant that hath lost its sap and strength, and so art become a dry tormenting Hunger. Thy Properties are like Heat and Cold which continually strive one against the other, and can never unite.
The distressed Soul saidWhat then shall I do to bud forth again, and recover the first Life, wherein I was at rest before I became an Image?
The enlightened Soul saidThou shalt do nothing at all but forsake thy own Will, viz., that which thou callest I, or thyself. By which means all thy evil properties will grow weak, faint, and ready to die; and then thou wilt sink down again into that One Thing from which thou art originally sprung. For now thou liest captive in the Creatures; but if thy Will forsaketh them, they will die in thee, with their evil inclinations, which at present stay and hinder thee that thou canst not come to God. But if thou takest this course, thy God will meet thee with his infinite Love, which he hath manifested in Christ Jesus in the Humanity, or human Nature. And that will impart sap, life and vigour to thee, whereby thou mayst bud, spring, flourish again, and rejoice in the Living God, as a branch growing on his true Vine. And so thou wilt at length recover the Image of God, and be delivered from that of the Serpent. Then shalt thou come to be my brother and have fellowship with the Angels.
The poor Soul saidHow can I forsake my Will, so that the Creatures which lodge therein may die, seeing I must be in the World, and also have need of it as long as I live?
The enlightened Soul saidNow thou hast worldly power and riches, which thou possesses! as thy own, to do what thou wilt with, and regardest not how thou gettest or invest the same, employing them in the service or indulgence of thy carnal and vain desires. Nay though thou seest the poor and needy wretch who wanteth thy help, and is thy brother, yet thou helpest him not, but layest heavy burdens upon him, by requiring more of him than his abilities will bear, or his necessities afford, and oppressest him, by forcing him to spend his labour and sweat for thee and the gratification of thy voluptuous Will. Thou art moreover proud and exultest over him, and behavest roughly and sternly to him, exalting thyself above him, and making small account of him in respect of thyself. Then that poor oppressed brother of thine cometh, and complaineth with sighs towards God, that he cannot reap the benefit of his labours and pains, but is forced by thee to live in misery. By which sighings and groanings of his he raiseth up the wrath of God in thee, which maketh thy flame and unquietness still the greater.
These are the Creatures which thou art in love with, and hast broken thyself off from God for their sakes, and brought thy Love into them or them into thy Love, so that they live therein. Thou nourishest and keepest them by continually receiving them into thy desire, for they live in and by thy receiving them into thy mind, because thou thereby bringest the lust of thy Life into them. They are but unclean and evil births and issues of the Bestial Nature, which yet by thy receiving them in thy Desire, have gotten an Image and formed themselves in thee. And that Image is a beast with four heads. First, Pride. Secondly, Covetousness. Thirdly, Envy. Fourthly, Anger. And in these four properties the Foundation of Hell consisteth, which thou earnest in thee and about thee. It is imprinted and engraven in thee, and thou art wholly taken captive thereby. For these properties live in thy Natural Life; and thereby thou art severed from God, neither canst thou ever come to him, unless thou so forsake these evil Creatures that they may die in thee.
But since thou desirest me to tell thee how to forsake thy own, perverse creaturely Will, that the Creatures might die, and that yet thou mightest live with them in the World, I must assure thee that there is but one way to do it, which is narrow and straight, and will be very hard and irksome to thee in the beginning, but afterwards thou wilt walk in it cheerfully.
Thou must seriously consider that in the course of this worldly life thou walkest in the Anger of God and in the Foundation of Hell; and that this is not thy true native country; but that a Christian should and must live in Christ, and in his walking truly follow him; and that he cannot be a Christian unless the Spirit and Power of Christ so live in him that he becometh wholly subject to it. Now seeing the Kingdom of Christ is not of the world, but in Heaven, therefore thou must be always in a continual ascension towards Heaven, if thou wilt follow Christ; though thy body must dwell among the Creatures and use them.
The narrow way to which perpetual ascension into Heaven and imitation of Christ is this. Thou must despair of all thy own power and strength, for in and by thy own thou canst not reach the Gates of God, and firmly purpose and resolve wholly to give thyself up to the Mercy of God, and to sink down with thy whole mind and reason into the Passion and Death of our Lord Jesus Christ, always desiring to persevere in the same and to die from all thy Creatures therein. Also thou must resolve to watch and guard thy mind, thoughts, and inclinations that they admit no evil into them, neither must thou suffer thyself to be held fast by temporal honour or profit. Thou must resolve likewise to put away from thee all Unrighteousness and whatsoever else may hinder the freedom of thy motion and progress. Thy Will must be wholly pure and fixed in a firm resolution never to return to its old idols any more, but that thou wilt, that very instant leave them, and separate thy mind from them, and enter into the sincere way of truth and righteousness, according to the plain and full doctrine of Christ. And as thou dost thus purpose to forsake the enemies of thine own inward Nature, so thou must also forgive all thy outward enemies and resolve to meet them with thy Love, that there may be left no Creature, Person, or Thing at all able to take hold of thy Will and captivate it; but that it may be sincere and purged from all Creatures. Nay, further, if it should be required, thou must be willing and ready to forsake all thy temporal honour and profit for Christ's sake, and regard nothing that is earthly so as to set thy heart and affections upon it; but esteem thyself in whatsoever state, degree and condition thou art, as to worldly rank and riches, to be but a servant of God, and of thy fellow-Christians; or as a steward in the office wherein thy Lord hath placed thee. All arrogance and self-exaltation must be humbled, brought low, and so annihilated that nothing of thine own or of any other Creature may stay in thy Will to bring the thoughts or imagination to be set upon it.
Thou must also firmly impress it on thy mind that thou shalt certainly partake of the promised Grace in the Merit of Jesus Christ, viz., of his outflowing Love, which indeed is already in thee, and which will deliver thee from thy Creatures, and enlighten thy Will, and kindle it with the Flame of Love, whereby thou shalt have victory over the Devil. Not as if thou couldst will or do anything in thy own strength, but only enter into the suffering and resurrection of Jesus Christ, and take them to thyself, and with them assault and break in pieces the kingdom of the Devil in thee. Thou must resolve to enter into this way this very hour, and never to depart from it, but willingly to submit thyself to God in all thy endeavours and doings, that he may do with thee what he pleaseth.
When thy Will is thus prepared and resolved, it hath then broken through its own Creatures, and is sincere in the Presence of God, and clothed with the Merits of Jesus Christ. It may then freely go to the Father with the Prodigal Son, and fall down in his Presence and pour forth its prayers; and putting forth all its strength in this Divine Work, confess its sins and disobedience; and how far it hath departed from God. This must be done not with bare words, but with all its strength, which indeed amounteth only to a strong purpose and resolution; for the Soul of itself hath no strength or power to effect any good work.
Now when thou art thus ready, and thy heavenly Father shall see thee coming and returning to him in such repentance and humility, he will inwardly speak to thee, and say in thee; Behold, this is my son which I had lost, he was dead and is alive again. And he will come to meet thee in thy mind with the Grace and Love of Jesus Christ, and embrace thee with the beams of his Love, and kiss thee with his Spirit and Strength, and then thou shalt receive Grace to pour out thy confession before him and to pray powerfully. This indeed is the right place where thou must wrestle in the Light of his Countenance. And if thou standest resolutely here and shrinkest not back, thou shalt see or feel great wonders. For thou shalt find Christ in thee assaulting Hell, and crushing thy Beasts in pieces, and that a great tumult and misery will arise in thee; also thy secret undiscovered sins will then first awake and labour to separate thee from God, and to keep thee back. Thus shalt thou truly find and feel how Death and Life fight one against the other, and shalt understand by what passeth within thyself what Heaven and Hell are. At all which be not moved, but stand firm and shrink not; for at length all thy Creatures will grow faint, weak, and ready to die; and then thy Will shall wax stronger, and be able to subdue and keep down the evil inclinations. So shall thy Will and Mind ascend into Heaven every day, and thy Creatures gradually die away. Thou wilt get a Mind wholly new, and begin to be a new Creature, and, getting rid of the Bestial Deformity, recover the Divine Image. Thus shalt thou be delivered from thy present Anguish, and return to thy original Rest.
The poor Soul's PracticeThen the poor Soul began to practise this course with so much earnestness that it conceived it should get the victory presently, but it found that the Gates of Heaven were shut against it in its own strength and power, and it was, as it were, rejected and forsaken by God, and received not so much as one look or glimpse of Grace from him. Upon which it said to itself; Surely thou hast not sincerely submitted thyself to God. Desire nothing at all of him, but only submit thyself to his judgment and condemnation, that he may kill thy evil inclinations. Sink down into him beyond the Limits of Nature and Creature, and submit thyself to him, that he may do with thee what he will, for thou art not worthy to speak to him. Accordingly the Soul took a resolution to sink down, and to forsake its own will; and when it had done so there fell upon it presently the greatest repentance that could be for the sins it had committed; and it bewailed bitterly its ugly shape, and was truly and deeply sorry that the evil Creatures did dwell in it. And because of its sorrow it could not speak one word more in the Presence of God, but in this repentance did consider the bitter Passion and Death of Jesus Christ, viz., what great anguish and torment he had suffered for its sake, in order to deliver it out of its anguish, and change it into the Image of God. In which consideration it wholly sank down, and did nothing but complain of its ignorance and negligence, and that it had not been thankful to its Redeemer, nor once considered the great love he had shown to it, but had idly spent its time, and not at all regarded how it might come to partake of his purchased and proffered Grace; but instead thereof had formed in itself the images and figures of earthly things, with the vain lusts and pleasures of the World. Whereby it had gotten such bestial inclinations that now it must lie captive in great misery, and for very shame dared not lift up its eyes to God, Who hid the light of his countenance from it and would not so much as look upon it. And as it was thus sighing and crying it was drawn into the Abyss or Pit of Horror, and laid as it were at the Gates of Hell there to perish. Upon which the poor troubled Soul was, as it were, bereft of sense, and wholly forsaken, so that it in a manner forgot all its doings, and would willingly yield itself to Death, and cease to be a Creature. Accordingly it did yield itself to Death, and desired nothing else but to die and perish in the Death of its Redeemer Jesus Christ, who had suffered such torments and death for its sake. And in this perishing it began to sigh and pray in itself very inwardly to the Divine Goodness, and to sink down into the mere Mercy of God.
Upon this there suddenly appeared unto it the Love of God, as a great Light which penetrated through it, and made it exceedingly joyful. It then began to pray aright, and to thank the Most High for such Grace, and to rejoice abundantly that it was delivered from the Death and Anguish of Hell. Now it tasted of the Sweetness of God, and of his promised Truth; and how all the evil Spirits which had harassed it before, and kept it back from the Grace, Love, and inward Presence of God, were forced to depart from it. The wedding of the Lamb was now kept and solemnised, that is, the Noble Sophia espoused or betrothed herself to the Soul, and the Seal-Ring of Christ's victory was impressed into its Essence, and it was received to be a Child and Heir of God again.