King Alfred's Old English Version of St. Augustine's Soliloquies

A. I dare not say that it would seem to me enough, because I know not whether it seemed to them enough in regard to that which they knew. I know not whether it seemed to them that they needed to know more of Him, but even so they formerly seemed to me.5 When I prayed, methought I did not so fully understand that which I besought as I would. But I still could not forbear to speak about it, just as it seemed to me that I needed, and just as I supposed it was.

R. Methinks now it seemeth to thee that it is one thing to know, and quite another only to suppose.

A. Yea, so methinks; therefore I would now that thou tell me what difference there is between these, or what one certainly knoweth.

R. Knowest thou that thou didst learn the science which we call geometry? In that science thou learnedst on a ball, or an apple, or a painted egg, that thou mightest by the painting understand the motion of the heavens and the course of the stars. Knowest thou that thou didst learn in the same science about a line drawn along the middle of the[20.17 – 22.10] ball? Knowest thou what was there taught thee about the positions of the twelve stars and the path of the sun?

A. Yea; I know well enough what the line signifieth.

R. Now that thou sayest thou doubtest this no whit, dost thou not fear the Academicians, those philosophers who said that there was never anything certain beyond a doubt?

A. Nay; I do not fear them much, for they said that there never was a wise man. Therefore I am not at all ashamed not to be wise, for I know that as yet I am not wise; but if I ever become as wise as they, then I will do as they teach, until I can say that I know without doubt what I seem to myself to know.

R. I do not object at all to thy doing so. But thou sayest thou knowest about the line which was painted on the ball on which thou learnedst the revolution of this heaven; I would know whether thou also knowest about the ball on which the line is drawn.

A. Yea; I know both. No man can mistake that.

R. Didst thou learn with the eyes or with the mind?

A. With both: first with the eyes, then with the mind. The eyes brought me to the understanding; but after I had perceived it, I left off looking with the eyes, and reflected, for it seemed to me that I could contemplate much more of it than I could see, after the eyes had fixed it in my mind. Just so a ship bringeth one over the sea; when he cometh ashore, he letteth the ship stand, for it seemeth to him that he can travel more easily without it than with it. However, it seemeth easier to me to travel by skiff on dry land than to learn any science with the eyes, but without the reason – though the eyes must at times give aid.

R. Therefore thou must needs look rightly with the eyes of the mind to God, just as the ship's anchor-cable is stretched direct from the ship to the anchor, and fasten the eyes of thy mind on God, just as the anchor is fastened in the earth. Though the ship be out among the sea-billows, it will remain sound and unbroken if the cable holdeth, since one end of it is fast to the earth and the other to the ship.

A. [22.11 – 24.7] What is that which thou callest the mind's eyes?

R. Reason, in addition to other virtues.

A. What are the other virtues?

R. Wisdom, and humility, and honor, and moderation, and righteousness, and mercy, and prudence, and constancy, and benevolence, and chastity, and abstinence. With these anchors thou art able to fasten to God the cable that shall hold the ship of thy mind.

A. May the Lord God make me entirely as thou teachest me [to be]. I would if I could, but I can not understand how I shall be able to obtain these anchors, or how I shall fasten them, except thou teach it to me more clearly.

R. I could teach thee, but I ought first to ask thee how many of this world's lusts thou hast renounced for God. After thou hast told me that, then I can say to thee without any doubt that thou hast obtained so many of the anchors as thou hast renounced the lusts of the world.

A. How can I forsake that which I know and am familiar with, and have been used to from childhood, and love that which is unknown to me except by hearsay? Howbeit, I feel sure that if I knew what thou sayest about me as certainly as what I here see for myself, I would love that, and despise this.

R. I wonder why thou speakest so. Suppose now if a letter with seal from thy lord should come to thee, canst thou say thou art not able to understand him by that, nor to recognise his will therein? If thou sayest that thou canst know his will therein, say then whether it seemeth to thee better to follow his will, or to follow after the wealth which he gave thee over and above his friendship.

A. Whether I will or not, I must speak truly, unless I am prepared to lie. If I lie, God knoweth it. Therefore I dare speak only the truth, so far as I can know it. Methinks it is better to forsake the gift, and follow the giver, who is to me the steward both of the riches and of his friendship, unless I can have both. I should like, however, to[24.7 – 25.23] have both, if I could follow both the wealth and also his will.

R. Full rightly hast thou answered me, but I would ask thee whether thou supposest that thou canst have all that thou now hast without thy lord's friendship.

A. I do not suppose that any man is so foolish as to think that.

R. Thou understandest it rightly enough, but I would know whether thou thinkest that what thou hast is temporal or eternal.

A. I never supposed it to be eternal.

R. What thinkest thou about God and the anchors which we spake of – are they like these, or are they eternal?

A. Who is so mad as to dare say that God is not eternal?

R. If He is eternal, why lovest thou not the eternal Lord more than the temporal? Lo, thou knowest that the Eternal will not leave thee, except thou go from Him; and thou must needs depart from the other whether thou will or no; thou must either leave him, or he thee. Howbeit I perceive that thou lovest him very much, and also fearest and dost well; very rightly and very becomingly thou dost. But I wonder why thou dost not love the Other much more, Him who giveth thee both the friendship of the worldly lord and His own, and, after this world, life eternal. The Lord is the ruler of you both – thine and thy lord's whom thou so immeasurably lovest.

A. I confess to thee that I would love Him above all other things, if I could understand and know Him as I would. But I can understand very little of Him, or nothing at all, and yet at times, when I think carefully of Him, and any inspiration cometh to me about the eternal life, then I by no means prefer this present life to that, nor even love it so much.

R. Wishest thou now to see Him and clearly understand Him?

A. I have no wish above that.

R. Keep, then, His commandments.

A. [25.24 – 27.13] What commandments?

R. I named them to thee before.

A. Methinks they are very burdensome and very manifold.

R. What one loveth, methinks, is not burdensome.

A. Nor doth any work seem burdensome to me if I can see and have what I work for. But doubt begetteth heaviness.

R. Thou graspest it well enough in speech, and well enough thou understandest it. But I can say to thee that I am the faculty of Reason, which argueth with thee – the discursive faculty whose province it is to explain to thee in such wise that thou mayest see God with thy mind's eyes as clearly as thou now seest the sun with the eyes of the body.

A. Almighty God reward thee! I am truly grateful for thy promise to teach it to me so clearly. Although I was ignorant, yet I emerge from this condition to a clearer vision of Him, if I come to see Him as I now see the sun. Howbeit I do not see the sun so clearly as I would like to. I know very little better what the sun is, though I look on it every day. Still it seemed good to me that I might thus clearly see God.

R. Now consider very earnestly what I formerly said to thee.

A. I will, so much as possible.

R. First know of a truth that the mind is the eye of the soul; secondly, thou must know that it is needful for one to see what one looketh at; the fourth is what one would see. For every one having eyes first looketh at that which he would see till he hath beheld it. When he hath beheld it then he truly seeth it. But thou must know that I who now speak with thee am Reason, and I am to every human mind what looking is to the eyes. Three things it behooveth the eyes of every human body to have; the fourth is what it seeketh and would draw to them. One is that thou[27.13 – 29.13] hast and usest and lovest that which thou formerly didst hope for.

A. Alas! Shall I ever come to that which I hope for, or shall that ever come to me which I desire?

R. Add now love as a third besides faith and hope; for the eyes of no soul are entirely sound – especially to see God with – if lacking these three. Seeing, then, is knowing.

A. If then there be sound eyes, that is, perfect understanding, what is then wanting to it, or what is more needful?

R. The soul's vision is Reason and Contemplation. But many souls look with these, and yet see not what they desire, because they have not entirely sound eyes. But he who wisheth to see God must have the eyes of his mind whole; that is, he must have an abiding faith and a just hope and a full love. When he hath all these, then hath he life blessed and eternal. The vision which we shall catch of God is knowledge. That knowledge is between two things – between that which understandeth and that which is understood – and is fastened on both even as love is between the lover and the one loved. On both it is fastened, as we said before concerning the anchor-cable that the one end was fast to the ship, and the other to the land.

A. Then if it ever again happeneth that I can see God as thou now teachest me that I should behold Him, would I need all three of the things that thou formerly spakest about, namely: faith and hope and love?

R. What need then is there of faith, when one seeth that which he formerly exercised faith toward, and again knoweth that which he formerly hoped for? But love never waneth – it abideth greatly increased when the understanding is fixed on God; nor hath love ever any end. Omni consummatione uidi finem; latum mandatum tuum nimis:6 that is, of everything in the world I shall see the end, but the end of thy commandments I shall never see. That is the love about which he prophesied. But, although the soul be perfect and pure while it is in the body, it can not see God as[29.13 – 30.27] it desireth, because of the sorrow and tribulation of the body, except with much labor through faith and hope and love. These are the three anchors which sustain the ship of the mind in the midst of the dashing of the waves. Yet the mind hath much comfort because it believeth and clearly knoweth that the misfortunes and unhappiness of this world are not eternal. So the ship's master,7 when the ship rideth most unsteadily at anchor and the sea is roughest, then knoweth of a truth that calm weather is coming. Three things are needful to the eyes of each soul: One is that they be whole; the second, that they should look at what they would see; the third, that they may see what they look at. For the three is God's help necessary, for one can neither do good nor any thing without His aid. Therefore He is always to be entreated that He be ever helpful; therefore also He inspireth us and inciteth us first to be well-wishing, and afterwards worketh with us that which He willeth till such time as we perfect it with Him; and especially He worketh with us as with some powerful tool, just as it is written8 that with each well-working person God is a co-worker. We know that no man can perform any good unless God work with him; howbeit no man must be so idle as not to begin something through the strength that God giveth him.

A. Thou teachest me the right way. Now I know what I ought to do; but I do not know whether I can or can not.

R. Thou oughtest not to despair because thou canst not come at once to that which thou desirest for thyself. Can he who would learn a science ever do so in a short time, a little more or a little less? Thine is the science of all sciences, to wit, that one should seek after God and look toward Him and see Him.

A. Well thou advisest me; but I recall what thou didst formerly promise me, and very joyfully I abide that promise; thou[30.27 – 32.7] didst promise to teach me how to see God with the eyes of my mind as clearly as I now see the sun with the eyes of my body.

R. Well thou remindest me; I will do for thee what I promised. Call to mind now that thou canst see with thy body's eyes three things in regard to the sun: One is that it existeth; another, that it shineth; the third, that it lighteth up many things with its shining. All the things which are bright, when the sun shineth on them, shine against it, each after its own kind. But those things which are not bright shine not against the sun, although it shineth on them. But the sun shineth, nevertheless, on them, and yet he who looketh toward it can not see it wholly just as it is. All this and more thou canst observe concerning God. He is the high Sun. He always abideth, lighting up with His own light both the sun which we see with bodily eyes and all creatures both spiritual and terrestrial. Therefore he seemeth to me a very foolish man who wisheth to understand Him just as He is, while we are yet in this world. Behold! I suppose that no one is so foolish that he becometh sorrowful because he can not see and understand, just as it is, the sun which we look at with corporeal eyes; but every one rejoiceth that at least he can understand according to the measure of his understanding. He doth well who desireth to understand the Eternal and Almighty Sun; but he doth very foolishly, if he wisheth to know Him perfectly while he is in this world.

A. Very wonderfully and very truly thou teachest, and very much thou hast comforted me and brought me into good hope. But I pray still for what thou aforetime didst promise me.

R. Two things I promised that I would accomplish and teach thee, to wit, to understand God and thyself. But I would know how thou desirest to understand that – whether thou wouldst believe without experience, or know by experience.

A. [32.8 – 33.19]I would know it by experience, for I know nothing of it surely.

R. That is no wonder. I did not explain it to thee in such wise that thou couldst know it by experience; for there is yet something which thou must first know, to wit, whether we both are whole.

A. Thou must know whether thou findest any health, either in me, or in thyself, or in us both. It becometh thee to teach and me to listen; and it becometh me to answer what I understand according to the measure of my understanding, if so be I understand it at all; if I do not understand it at all, then must I admit it and leave it to thy judgment.

R. Wishest thou to know more than about God and thyself?

A. I answer thee that I do not wish anything more earnestly; but I dare not promise thee that I shall not desire any thing else than that; for it is verily hidden from me, albeit something cometh into my mind which, methinks, nothing can hinder me from furthering and performing. When another thing cometh which seemeth to me more right and reasonable, then I leave off that which I formerly held enough; and therefore at times it happeneth that something is so fixed in my mind, that I think I shall never let it go so long as I live. Howbeit there cometh to me then some trouble which occupieth me so that I can never leave it, nor can I perform it although I can not think of any better [thing to be done].9 But three things have troubled me most: One is, I fear that I must part with my friends whom I love most, or they with me – either for life or for death; the second is, I fear sickness, both the known and the unknown; the third is, I fear death.

R. I hear now what thou lovest most next to thine own reason and God: They are, the life of thy friends, and thine own health, and thine own life. Of these five things thou art afraid that thou shalt lose some, because thou lovest them[33.19 – 35.8] all very much. If thou didst not love them, then thou hadst not dreaded that thou wouldst lose them.

A. I admit what thou sayest to me.

R. Therefore methinks that I see thee very sad and greatly cast down in thy mind, because thou hast not such health as thou hadst; nor hast thou all thy friends with thee so agreeable and harmonious as thou wouldst. Nor doth it seem to me any wonder that thou art sad for that reason.

A. Thou understandest it rightly; I can not gainsay that.

R. If then it ever happen that thou shalt find thyself full whole and full strong, and hast all thy friends with thee, both in mind and in body, and in that same work and in that same will which pleaseth thee best to do, wilt thou then be happy at all?

A. Yea, verily; if it should now suddenly happen, I do not know how on earth I would begin.

R. Hast thou not then still some trouble, such as immoderate sorrow, either of mind or of body – seeing now thou hast those two things? Wert thou, therefore, foolish in heart, when thou didst wish that thou shouldst see with such eyes the high and everlasting Sun?

A. Now thou hast overcome me withal, so that I by no means know how much of health I have, nor how much of sickness.

R. That is no wonder. No man hath such sound eyes that he can look any length of time toward the sun which we here see, much less if he have weak eyes. But those that have weak eyes can be more at ease in the darkness than in the light. Methinks, though, that it seemeth to thee that thou hast sound eyes. Thou thinkest of the health of thy soul's eyes, but thou dost not think of the great light which thou wishest to see. Be not wroth with me, albeit I question thee and examine thee, for I needs must do that. Methinks thou dost not understand thyself.

A. [35.9 – 37.3] I am in no wise wroth with thee, but rejoice in what thou sayest, because I know that thou seekest my good.

R. Wishest thou any wealth?

A. Long ago I resolved that I should despise it. I am now three and thirty years old, and I was one less than twenty when I first resolved that I would not love wealth overmuch. Though enough should come to me, I would not rejoice very much, nor enjoy it too immoderately, nor would I gain more to keep than I could fitly make use of, and keep and support the men on, whom I must help; and the residue I think as orderly to divide as I best am able so to do.

R. Wishest thou any honor?

A. I confess to thee that I did wish that till recently desire failed.

R. Desirest thou not a beautiful wife, and withal modest and well instructed and of good manners and subject to thy will, and one who hath much substance and would not engross thee in any thing, nor hinder thee from enjoying leisure at thy will?

A. Dost thou not praise her overmuch that I may wish her all the more? For methinks there is nothing worse for him that willeth to serve God than to take a wife – though some one hath said that it is better to take one for the rearing of children. Howbeit I say that it is better for priests not to have a wife. Therefore I decided that I would take none, because I wished to be the freer to serve God.

R. I hear now that thou dost not think to take a wife; but I would know whether thou still hast any love or lust after any uncleanness.

A. Why askest thou more about that? I do not now desire that; but if lust ever cometh to me, I dread it as an adder. Ever the less is my desire for it, and ever the more I wish to see the light, even as I lust the less after this manner.

R. How about food? How much dost thou desire that?

A. [37.4 – 39.13] I desire none of those meats which I have renounced; I desire those which I have thought right to eat, when I see them. What shall I say more either about meat, or drink, or baths, or riches, or honor, or any worldly lusts? Nor do I wish any more of these than I shall need to have for my bodily comfort and to keep my strength. Howbeit I need much more for the wants of those men which I must take care of, and moreover this I needs must have.

R. Thou art right. But I would know whether thy old covetousness and greediness be entirely extirpated and uprooted from thy mind, so that it can not still grow.

A. Why askest thou that?

R. I speak of the things which thou before saidst to me that thou hadst decided to leave off and for nothing would turn back to again, namely: overmuch wealth, and immoderate honor, and inordinately rich and luxurious living; and therefore I now ask whether, either for the love of them or for the love of any thing, thou wilt return to them again. I heard formerly that thou saidst that thou lovedst thy friends, next to God and thine own reason, above other things. Now I would know whether thou, for their love, wouldst lay hold of these things again.

A. I will lay hold of all again for their love, if I can not else have their companionship —yet it doth not please me so to do.

R. Very reasonably thou dost answer me and very rightly. Howbeit I understand that the lusts of the world are not entirely uprooted from thy mind, although the trench be prepared; for the roots can sprout thence again. Yet I impute that not to thee as a fault, for thou layest hold of it not for the love of those things but for the love of this thing which it is more right to love than that. I never ask about any man, what he doth; but yet I ask thee now why thou lovest thy friends so much, or what thou lovest in them, or whether thou lovest them for their own sake or for some other thing.

A. [39.14 – 41.19] I love them for friendship and for companionship, and above all others I love those who most help me to understand and to know reason and wisdom, most of all about God and about our souls; for I know that I can more easily seek after Him with their help than I can without.

R. How then if they do not wish to inquire after the One whom thou seekest?

A. I shall teach them so that they will.

R. But how then if thou canst not, and if they be so foolish as to love other things more than that which thou lovest, and say that they can not or will not?

A. I, nevertheless, will have them: they will be helpful to me in some things and I likewise to them.

R. But how then if they disturb thee, and if the infirmities of the body hinder thee?

A. That is true; howbeit I would not fear at all the infirmities, if it were not for three things: One of these is heavy sorrow; another is death; the third is that I can not seek nor truly find what I desire just as thou madest me know. Toothache hindered me from all learning, but yet it did not altogether snatch from me the remembrance of that which I formerly learned. Howbeit I suppose, if I should understand certainly that which I yearn to understand, sorrow would seem to me very little, or else naught, compared with faith. Yet I know many a pain is much sharper than toothache, albeit I never suffered any sharper. I learned that Cornelius Celsus taught in his books that in every man wisdom is the highest good and sickness the greatest evil. The saying appeareth to me very true. Concerning the same thing the same Cornelius saith: 'Of two things we are what we are, to wit, of soul and of body. The soul is spiritual, and the body earthy. The best faculty of the soul is wisdom, and the worst affliction of the body is sickness.' Methinks moreover that this is not false.