Tales of the Toys, Told by Themselves

"'By Jove, Dolly,' cried Sir Gerald, 'here's the shuttlecock after all!'

"'What a lark,' replied Lord Adolphus; 'it's been chucked into old Rosamond's well, and ought to come out beautiful for ever!'

"'I'm glad we found it,' said Sir Gerald; 'or perhaps there'd have been a row. I saw Githa count 'em all, and she'd have been sure to bully us about it.'

"'We could have given her the tin for it then,' replied Adolphus, 'only I'm so hard up just now. I owe a lot of money for sweets and tarts; and I want to buy a cricket bat this quarter. But hulloa, Gerry, how wet the beggar is?'

"But the dear gentlemanly fellow, soon remedied this fault, for he wiped me carefully with his own cambric handkerchief, and I was not the worse, except that my coronet of plumes looked rather damp, or, as Sir Gerald facetiously expressed it, "all draggletail!"

"A little sojourn in the glowing Sun, soon restored my feathers to their early beauty, as I was carefully taken back, no worse for my pleasant little gambol, and placed in the basket again, on the Duchess's stall. The hour of opening arrived, one o'clock; but, out upon the cruel Fates! long before the turning point of noon, lowering clouds had veiled the bright, too treacherously bright rays of the Sun, and heavy, drenching showers succeeded, ending in a steady downpour that promised to last out the day. Oh dear! What ruin and destruction ensued to the elegant erection of the morning! The marquee leaked in many places from the sudden violence of the storm, and none of the precautions, hastily taken, would make it quite water-tight. The unlucky visitors, with their gay summer dresses all sopped and clinging with wet, crowded in to gain what little shelter they could; and all was damp, dreary and desolate! The higher class, more fortunate than the rest, accompanied the Duchess to the Castle; the stalls were deserted in favour of the younger, and less particular among the gay party, and the marquee was only crowded by the more persevering vulgar mob, who were determined to have, as I heard one of the horrors avow, "their full pennorth," all they could see and get for their money.

"An evil destiny which seems to have fallen upon me early, relentlessly followed me now, and ruled my unwilling sacrifice. I was positively sold from the stall of the Duchess, by her Grace's own maid, to a rich grocer in the city, for the sum of sixpence! Oh, degradation indeed! Fallen, fallen, fallen from my high estate indeed was I. No friendly hand interposed; no better purchaser came, so I was ignominiously wrapped in paper and put in Mr. Figge's pocket. Nor had ruthless fortune yet done with me, for when I was carried to the abode of the Figge's, although I had been really destined as a gift to his only daughter, Araminta Philippina, I was, by mistake in the hurry of returning, dropped in the carriage, and although a vigorous search seemed to be made by the fine footman, he did not succeed in finding me, and I remained hid in a far back corner of the roomy equipage for some days. Had I fallen to the share of Araminta Philippina, I should at least have retained the small consolation of being incessantly pointed out as having been bought from the Duchess herself, and a faint ray of my lost station would have still glimmered about me.

"But, alas, on emerging from my obscurity, I found I had indeed fallen in life, and from the highest to the lowest, for I was now located in the Mews, where Mr. Figge's carriage was kept; and having been found during its dusting and arrangement by the wife of the coachman, I was handed over to her horrible tribe of uncouth, ill-behaved children.

"Oh, for the language that I heard round me now! It made my very feathers quiver sometimes; and as for the flights I took now, – ugh – it makes me shudder to recall them! I who had bathed in fair Rosamond's crystal stream, was now doomed to be plunged in the inky rills that ran in the gutters round the sooty roofs. My beautiful red leather cover was soon dyed a dingy black; most of my feathers were violently pulled out by some of the younger ones, and the rest became somewhat of the colour of a London sparrow. At last, as a sort of release from worse miseries, I was tossed up so high by the horrid little flat wooden bat, which now became the means of my ascending, (and that in the hands of the coachman's eldest son, was an instrument of indiscriminate torment to everything animate and inanimate), that I fell on the ledge of a back window in one of the houses in a square adjoining. The boy, I imagine, did not dare to go round to the house to ask for me again, and was therefore reduced to his original stock of playthings, consisting chiefly of a mutilated ginger-beer bottle, some oyster shells, and a brickbat.

"Meanwhile I dwelt for some time on the window ledge, exposed to the wind and rain, but at any rate free from the vulgar annoyances to which I had been subjected of late. And this I could endure more calmly, and I had almost become resigned to my hard lot, when one day to my astonishment the window was opened. A young woman leant out with a hammer and nails in her hands, and proceeded to fix one in firmly on the side of the window. She did not see me, for I had become securely lodged in the other corner almost out of sight, and so she did not either pick me up, nor what I secretly feared most, throw me back again into the low haunts of my former miserable and odious life. She contented herself with merely hanging out a bird in its cage, and then partially closed the window again, and, I suppose, left the room.

"It is not my usual habit to make acquaintance too readily with strangers, and therefore I did not commence a conversation with my feathered neighbour; but, then, as you are doubtless well aware, birds are generally of a sociable disposition, and prone to make remarks and enter into conversation with comparative strangers. And my new neighbour proved no exception to the rule, for he began to chatter and chirp in the most voluble manner, and had speedily related all his own personal history, and that of several members of his family. But I am not very fond of the affairs of people that do not belong to my own class, and therefore did not pay much attention to his gossip. He was of a prying disposition too, as very communicative people generally are, and seemed rather anxious to know all about me. But I rather politely but loftily repelled him, for I did not choose my misfortunes to be the common talk of such small people. So I briefly informed him I had been far better off, and indeed it was now, only owing to peculiar circumstances I wished to remain for a time in comparative retirement.

"From him I learned that his owner was the under housemaid at this house, and that she was shortly about to leave, having obtained another situation where there was less work to do. The bird prattled in a lively fashion about the merry life he had led hitherto and the continued change he had seen, and seemed to be quite looking forward to what he called "his next place."

"'I only wish you were going with me, you poor thing; I am sure you must be moped to death with staying up here by yourself so long. Don't you think you could manage to roll into my cage, and then we could go off together?'

"My propriety was terribly shocked by this proposal of the goldfinch's, and for some time I could give him no answer.

"'You silly thing!' said he, angrily, at last, 'surely you may travel with your own relations, and you know you and I must be kin, because we have both the distinguished ornament of feathers.'

"This delicate compliment softened me a little, I must confess!" said the Shuttlecock, bridling up with a very dignified air, which, in her dilapidated state, with her one ragged feather sticking out all awry, was a very comic affair. Consequently none of the toys could help laughing; as for the Kite, he was so amused that he waggled about like a sail in a rough wind. Even the languid, delicate Doll could not forbear a feeble smile, and the Shuttlecock became so indignant, that she would have bounced out of the party, had her powers been equal to her spirit. But, alas, though her cork was still sound, her wings had departed, and the solitary draggletail feather was not sufficient to waft her above the rude mirth of her auditors. But she was so deeply offended that it took the Ball a long time, and a world of trouble, to pacify her. At last, on his hinting that as time was passing by he should be reduced to calling upon another member present for a story, she permitted herself to be pacified, and resumed her narrative, with a more haughty air, and in finer words than before: —

"My poor autobiography can be concluded in very few words now, for I have but little more to relate. My feathered connection, for he certainly made his claim good to a distant relationship, would take no denial, and told me he had set his heart on taking me with him when he went; and that he had a plan of his own by which he would be able to carry out his purpose. I therefore submitted to his decision, and counted the days, I must honestly own, very eagerly, until the period of our joint captivity arrived. The evening before, my bird relation requested a friendly Breeze, with whom he was on friendly terms, to blow me close to his cage. I was then, I should tell you, possessed still of several of my plumes, although they were in a dingy condition, and therefore more able to help myself. A good strong gust then, at the right moment, and carefully adjusted to the right quarter, sufficed to take me to the ledge of the bird's food box. From thence he speedily, though with some amount of hard work, managed to pull and drag me inside the cage, a friendly wire stretching widely for the purpose. My friend then carefully pushed me under his seed-box, knowing that as long as I was pretty well out of sight, his mistress, Mary, would not take much trouble about it. From former experience and frequent removes, he knew well she would only find time to tie him up, cage and all, in a blue handkerchief, and carry him off at the very last moment. All this came to pass, as he so sagely predicted, and after being blinded-up in this fashion for some time, and jogged and shaken in a very uncomfortable manner, we came to our journey's end in a bedroom in this house. We were not disturbed till next morning, for Mary had only time to give my friend his seed and water, before she set off on her new round of duties. Two days after, however, she managed to find time to think of the bird.

"'You shall go down stairs into the kitchen, my pretty Dick,' said she, chirping to him, 'for cook says she is fond of birds, and will give me some sugar for you. But I must clean your cage first, for you are not fit to be seen, I'm sure, now!'

"And so saying, she proceeded to make Dick's house clean and neat, and in the course of doing so, she came upon me. 'Why, Dickey,' she said, laughing, 'have you been trying a game of shuttlecock, by way of sport? How came this in your cage, I wonder!'

"Dick tried to explain in his bird fashion, and did so, I thought, very intelligibly, but, then, as you know, all human beings are so very difficult of comprehension. So she took me out in spite of all my poor cousin's protests, and laid me on the table in her room. On the following Sunday, when Mary was to stay at home with the little ones while nurse went to church, she remembered me, and brought me down to amuse the young Spensers. Like all the rest of their race, they soon became tired of me, and I was thrust away in this dusty cupboard till now. Of all the histories that have been related to amuse you, none, I am sure, have surpassed mine for vicissitudes and changes. I was the early companion of Duchesses and Lords, and yet have been doomed to endure the society of coachmen and stable boys, and to be rescued from a rackety bird-cage to end my days in a dusty cupboard!"

Then the Shuttlecock ceased to speak, and betook herself to her corner, to bewail in private the sad downfall she had endured.

"And now," said the Ball, "I will call upon our venerable friend, the Noah's Ark; I am sure he will be able to tell us a great deal that is very interesting about himself and his numerous tribe."

The poor old Ark creaked slowly forward, and announced his willingness to add his history to the rest, beginning in the following words.

CHAPTER IX.

WHAT BECAME OF NOAH'S ARK AND ALL ITS BEASTS

"I must tell you a little about the hands that first made us, and to do so I must take you in fancy to the high Alps in Switzerland. There, during the long bright summer months, according to the practice of the country, the flocks and herds are pastured, only descending to the villages in autumn, when food and fodder grow scant. A temporary dwelling is erected, in which the Sennerin, the young girl who usually takes charge of them, lives for the season, and where she follows the dairy business peculiar to her calling. The long summer days pass so calmly and pleasantly there, while the cows and their young ones crop the juicy herbage of these mountain pastures. Meanwhile the shepherd lads, and those who are not busied in more active labours, often pass their leisure hours, while guarding their flocks with the help of their intelligent dogs, in carving cleverly some pretty little toys in the light wood peculiar to their province. These find a ready sale with the travellers, who climb these lofty heights to feast their eyes on the ranges of distant peaks and Alpine passes, that seem almost reaching up to the sky.

"Sitting on the grass, with their quaint, old-fashioned knives, these lads carve elegant and graceful trifles, that often eventually find their way into royal palaces, and are used by many dainty fingers. My maker, however, was more given to the construction of toys for children; he preferred fashioning all kinds of animals and reptiles, to making flower bestudded paper knives or perforated work baskets; and he found a very good and ready sale for all he had time to manufacture. By his patient and incessant industry, he had earned a comfortable living for many years for his blind and aged mother, to whom he was a most dutiful and tender son. Never a penny of Fritz's money was spent in idle folly, for neither gay ribbons for his hat nor silver buckles for his shoes ever wiled away his earned money from its pious purpose. He certainly was a true but very humble admirer of our Sennerin, who was the only daughter of a rich farmer of the village; and I had a few opportunities for noticing that she always prized more the simple Alpine roses, for which Fritz had climbed many a dangerous spot, than she did the elaborate carvings or purchased trinkets which were offered to her by others. I hope long ere this, Fritz, the good son and industrious villager, is the owner of the goodly farm, and the happy husband of the pretty Sennerin. But I did not remain long enough to know much of the progress of his affairs; for although it took him half the summer to make me and two similar Arks, we were readily disposed of at once, on his return to the village. The toy merchant made his yearly visit then, and carried us all off with a host of other articles of similar manufacture.

"I hope I may be excused for a little pardonable vanity in describing our personal appearance to you; for, in common with you all, I have been also divested by time and rough usage of most of my early charms. When I was first springing from beneath the skilful fingers of Fritz, I was the prettiest specimen of a model Swiss cottage set upon a boat floor, that ever was made. My walls were formed of the pretty very white species of wood, used by these deft shepherd carvers, and light, graceful openwork patterns were formed on them, by delicately cut cross pieces of a darker shade. The roof, with wide projecting eaves, after the regular chalet pattern, had its cross beams, and here and there the usual stones, laid on it, which, in the original structures, are placed there to add some weight of resistance to the furious mountain gales that come sweeping down the deep gorges. There was a row of windows, which were really cut out and glazed, through which you might obtain a view of the jumble of animals huddled together inside. A perforated gallery of light wood ran all round the walls half way up, from whence a staircase, general to these Swiss cottages, led down, and in this case terminated on the floor of the flat wooden boat, which of rather unusual depth, formed the bottom of the Ark.

"As to my contents, they were of a rather miscellaneous character, for although Fritz had a natural love for animals, and considerable success in copying those with which he was acquainted, his knowledge of the more distant creation was limited to the quaint old woodcuts in his mother's Bible, in which they were drawn with more spirit and imagination than correctness. And so Fritz's horses, oxen, pigs, sheep, dogs, and goats were characteristic and good, but his elephant and camel, though original, were eccentric, to use a mild term. They were all executed, however, with great pains, and the wood from which they were carved was specially selected with a view to their colour and marks. Thus, for example, the tiger, though his outline and shape were rather doubtful, and he partook more than he should of the square frame of a cow, was cut out of a bit of wood where a knot had been, which caused it to be streaked in a manner very suitable to the stripes of that animal. The birds generally were a greater success, for with most of these Fritz was tolerably familiar. We had certainly all spent a very pleasant summer, high up in the Alps, with the most delicious clear sky overhead and the fragrant herbage beneath. It was so calm and clear, that the silence was broken alone by the far off sheep and goat bells, the faint low of the drowsy cattle, or the sweet song of distant birds. How often I have recalled that pleasant early life, which was so very speedily terminated.

"The toy merchant soon packed up his wares and departed, and we saw and heard nothing more, until we were unpacked from a huge case of other toys, and placed in the window of a famous toyshop in St. Paul's Churchyard. In the window there, for some months, we attracted numberless groups of delighted little admirers, but our high price placed us beyond the reach of most people. Our turn came at last; we were selected by a doating grandpapa for his pet little grand-daughter, and carefully packed up and taken to the abode of our future owner. The pretty little child was too young as yet to have such a beautiful and costly toy in her own charge, so her Mamma undertook the care of us, and Beatrice was allowed to play with us occasionally.

"She was a queer little mortal, this new mistress of ours, and not particularly fond of toys in general. She was highly delighted at first, and twice or thrice when she was allowed to play with us, she arranged us carefully in pairs on the table. But when Nurse or Mamma tried to improve her knowledge, and give her a sly object lesson on zoology, Miss Beatrice grew refractory, and cared for us no more. Unfortunately on one occasion when her Mamma was seriously ill, the nurse gave us to her to play with, to keep her quiet, and the whole house being somewhat upset by the illness, the child was not taken much notice of. Alas, when Nurse came in the evening to collect my animals and put me away, she found a most deplorable state of things. Beatrice had been dragging me about as a carriage for her doll, and had thus damaged my pretty railed gallery and staircase past all mending. My roof was in three pieces, and the reckless little savage had first strewn all my beasts over the floor, and then as deliberately walked over them. Oh, what a havoc was there! My poor dear cows and sheep, that had cost the ingenious Fritz so much time and trouble, had not three legs to boast of between them, and as for the birds, they were most of them pounded to pieces and bits. I thought with bitter regret of the green mountain heights where we had so merrily proceeded under Fritz's laborious fingers, and had been the admiration of the whole little Swiss village.

"When Beatrice's mother was better, she was much vexed to hear what had happened to us, and was very angry indeed with Beatrice for her wilful mischief. I believe from that time, the child took a dislike to us, for she was a capricious, odd-tempered little thing, and certainly never played with us without doing us some further injury. As for the animals, they were left and dropped all over the house. Poor old Grandmamma coming to spend the day, fell down and sprained her ancle by treading on the elephant. The camel was thrown through one of the windows by a little boy visitor during a romp with Beatrice, and Aunt Priscilla was almost irreparably offended the last time she stayed there, by finding a wooden pig in her fur-lined slipper. She put her foot hastily in without seeing it, and hurt it so, that she declared she was lame for a month afterwards. In short, we were always in trouble in some way or other, and Beatrice's mother more than once threatened to give us away.

"It would have been a small consolation to us if our young owner had played with us sometimes, or taken ever so little pride in us. But no; she only took us out to bring more shame and disgrace on us, and on herself. For instance, once when her Godmother took her to church for the first time, Beatrice took her handkerchief out of her pocket, and with it a number of wooden animals, which fell in a pattering shower on the pavement. Naughty Beatrice would stop in the middle of the aisle and pick us all up, to the astonishment of the congregation, the horror of her Godmother, and the utter scandal of the grave old clerk. Nay, worse even, for when the sermon commenced, she rushed out of her seat, and began to hunt about under the people's feet in the free benches for a missing camelopard!

"After this terrible mishap, Nurse laid hands on all the stray animals she could find, and clapped them all hastily into my box, shutting down the lid decidedly, and promising Beatrice she should see us no more. She was as good as her word, and hid us behind a great pile of clean dimity curtains in the linen closet, where we remained snugly packed away for some time. But, alas! one day our mischievous little mistress, during one of her prowls, chanced to see the open door of the linen closet, and could not resist a sudden raid upon it. To her great joy, she found us, and carefully lugging us out, she hid us in her little cot till bedtime.

"It happened to be the day of a dinner party, and all the servants were very busy with the preparations for it, while the lady of the house was equally engaged in superintending the arrangements. In the evening, while dinner was proceeding, Beatrice, well-dressed for the occasion, was taken down into the drawing-room, to wait till she could go in to dessert. Her nurse, no doubt, was using her ears and eyes in other matters, and so the mischievous little maid was left to her own devices. The results, however, were very unpleasantly visible to her Mamma, when having helped a lady to some trifle, she observed her become very red, and lay down her spoon. On enquiry, she found that she had met with a wooden frog in the trifle, and on further search, some more of my unlucky animals were found located among the sweet dishes. A huge dog was floundering in the jelly, and a regular flight of birds had got about the blancmange.

"The end of this disagreeable affair was, that Miss Beatrice was sent to bed in dire disgrace, and the poor innocent animals, all sticky from their sweet bath, were consigned to the fire. The few remaining creatures that were left of all the numerous flock Fritz had so proudly made, were hastily gathered together, and with me, given away next morning.

"Our next owner was a little boy, a very quiet little fellow, to whom we became the greatest treasure in the world. He thought me the most beautiful toy that was ever made, although I was in such a sadly damaged condition. His only grief was, that my stock of animals had now dwindled down to about twenty, and of these, most were maimed or deficient in some way. However, he wisely made the best of a bad matter, and set to work to repair the damage as well as he could. With his elder brother's kind help, and the loan of a glue-pot, he repaired, as neatly as possible, the breakage of my gallery and staircase. With pins, cork, and sealing-wax, he next proceeded to tinker-up the poor mutilated animals, and succeeded in making them all stand pretty firmly once more. It would have done Fritz's honest heart good to see how carefully the little fellow handled his masterpiece, and how very conscientiously he tried to put all to rights again. And if the horse had two odd scarlet legs made out of sealing-wax, it was better than going a cripple for life; and as for the squirrel, he need not have grumbled, for a black pin for a tail was better than none. To be sure, he did stick the bear's head on the wrong way, but then it did not much matter, it only looked as if he had met with a tree he wanted to climb, and was looking up it.