The Comic History of Rome

There exist, in the British Museum, books older than the time of Numa, written by the Egyptians, on these palm leaves, which show, in one sense, the palmy state of literature at that early period.

10

Some say that Tarquinius Priscus bought the books; but it is of little consequence who was the real buyer, as the whole story is very probably "a sell" on the part of the narrators, as well as of the sibyl.

11

Cicero. It is true this was said at a much later time than that of which we are now writing; but dancing, except in connection with certain ceremonies, was considered degrading by the Romans from the earliest period.

12

Hence, from the word pecus, cattle, was derived pecunia, signifying money, and giving rise to our own word "pecuniary."

13

Niebuhr spells the word with a double n, in the penultimate syllable; but Macaulay, who quotes four verses from different writers in favour of his orthography, writes the word Porsena, with the penultimate short.

14

"Camerium knows how deeplyThe sword of Aulus bites,And all our city calls himThe man of seventy fights."Macaulay's Lay of the Battle of the Lake Regillus.

15

This law is said to have been altered by Servius Tullius; but if legislation on the subject was at one time loose, it became very binding afterwards, and was extremely strict at the date above alluded to.

16

The Curule Chair is said to have been imported, with other articles of state furniture, from Etruria. In some cases, the feet were formed of ivory in the shape of elephant's tusks; but there are other proofs of their Tuscan origin.

17

Among the other difficulties of this story is the comparatively trifling one, that the Fabian race did not become extinct; but tradition hops over this dilemma, by leaving one of the family behind to serve as a father to future Fabii.

18

It has been often a subject of regret that the particulars of this expedition have not been handed down to us, and that the three Roman excursionists did not put their heads together to form a log during their voyage. It is, however, seldom that the marine expeditions of the sages are fully detailed, for nothing can be scantier than the account of the journey of the three wise men of Gotham who went to sea in a bowl; and there is reason to believe that many a chapter has been lost to the philosophical transactions of the world, by the chapter of nautical accidents.

19

"Law of the Twelve Tables," B.C. 450. "Lex Canuleia," B.C. 445.

20

It seems, however, to have been the custom of the period for plebeians to send their daughters from six to sixteen to a scholastic establishment from about nine to five; and it is ten to one that Virginia was a pupil at one of these cheap nursery grounds, in which young ideas were planted out for the purpose of shooting.

21

"Then up sprung Appius Claudius, 'Stop him – alive or dead,Ten thousand pounds of copper to the man who brings his head.'" —Macaulay's Lays of Ancient Rome.

22

This description is not exaggerated, at least, if the authority of Macaulay is to be relied upon; and for the incidents of this remote period we are perhaps justified in trusting quite as much to the lay of the poet, as to any other source. The following lines refer to the state of Appius, when taken home, after the death of Virginia: —

"One stone hit Appius in the mouth, and one beneath the ear,And ere he reached Mount Palatine he swooned with pain and fear.His cursed head, that he was wont to hold so high with pride,Now like a drunken man's, hung down, and swayed from side to side.And when his stout retainers had brought him to his door,His face and neck were all one cake of filth and clotted gore."

23

At a later period, the Censors had the entire control over the public expenditure, even to the feeding of the sacred geese; and there is no doubt that even the geese were made to yield a considerable nest egg to a dishonest functionary.

24

These geese were sacred to Juno, who was the goddess of marriage; but we cannot say whether the goose became identified with her on that account.

25

See ante, the anecdote of the Sacred Geese.

26

Livy, vi., 42.

27

The word "Histriones" is said to be derived from the Etruscan hister, a dancer. The earliest performers introduced into Rome were dancers – in fact, a ballet company – from Etruria. Those sensitive admirers of the purely classical in the entertainments of the stage, who clamour against opera and ballet, will, perhaps, be surprised to learn that the most truly classical performances are those which they most energetically protest against.

28

Vide page 87 .

29

From this circumstance, the word Rostrum, which means the prow of a ship, has been derived, and has got into such universal use as to describe the box from which an auctioneer launches his eloquence.

30

The Hortensian Law, carried some years later by Q. Hortensius.

31

Eutrop. ii., 5.

32

A reference to any Gazette containing the announcement of an appropriation of prize-money, will introduce to the reader's notice such items as the following, which are extracted from a very recently-published document, stating the proportions of prize-money granted on the seizure of a slave-vessel: – Flag, £87 12s. 3d.; Lieutenant commanding, £164 5s. 7d. The proportions then diminish rapidly through several classes down to the tenth, which is adjudged to receive £2 13s. 3d. The ratio may be all fair enough, but we must confess the large sum always wrapped up in the flag seems somewhat of a mystery.

33

The Croton Aqueduct, commenced in 1837, and finished in 1842, for conveying water from the river Croton to the City of New York.

34

Dr. Schmidtz, p. 223

35

The sigh of a pavier is really a very formidable matter. We always fancy the heart of the poor fellow is in his mouth, whenever we hear him at his labours.

36

Polybius.

37

Polyb., ii. 20.

38

The ignorantly squeamish, who may object to the word "togged," will please to observe that it is purely classical – the Latin toga being the root of the participle "togged," as well as the substantive "toggery."

39

Livy, viii. – 8.

40

Lipsius and others.

41

The word "tyrant" meant, originally, nothing more than a sovereign who had arrived at supreme power by rather irregular means; but, as power thus obtained was most commonly abused, the words "tyrant" and "tyranny" became universally odious.

42

The curious reader, who is disposed to go over to Rome, will find the work of art alluded to in the text at the southern extremity of the vestibule, just at the foot of the staircase leading to the upper apartments, and close to a marble statue of Augustus.

43

The tale of this serpent has come down to us from Livy, and would, no doubt, form a very suitable companion to the sea serpent, if the latter could be found.

44

Diodorus.

45

Diod. 5.

46

Aretæus de Morb. diut. Cur. i.

47

The first public exhibition of the kind at Rome took place B.C. 244, at the funeral of the father of Marcus and Decius Brutus; but the Ædiles carried out the idea on what they considered a grand scale, and immense numbers of gladiators were sacrificed for the "amusement" of the people.

48

It may be hinted to the student that the Dying Gladiator in the Museum at Rome is no gladiator, but a Gaul; and the collar round his neck, supposed to be a mark of disgrace, is, in fact, the Torques, a symbol of honour. The sculpture is Greek, and belongs to a period of Art long previous to the introduction of gladiatorial displays.

49

See the "Course of Hannibal over the Alps ascertained," by Whittaker, London, 1794, 2 vols. 8vo.; and "A Dissertation on the Passage of Hannibal over the Alps," by Walsham and Cramer, Oxford.

50

Polybius, 3. Appian, c. 316. Livy, 22.

51

Polybius says nothing about the origin of Varro; and as there was no directory in those days, we are unable to decide whether the omission of Polybius, or the assertion of Livy, is more to be relied upon.

52

The term εὕρηκα has lately been applied to a newly-invented shirt; but the term is extremely inappropriate, for the philosopher had no shirt on when he proclaimed his great discovery.

53

Stevinus, the Flemish mathematician, and Galileo, both of whom were born about the middle of the sixteenth century, were the first who came after Archimedes in any great mechanical discoveries.

54

Livy, xxx. 44.

55

This is, in fact, the homœopathic principle applied to politics; the counteracting of like by like, similia similibus.

56

P. Cornelius Scipio gave no better answer than this to a charge of having embezzled a sum amounting to 36,000l. sterling.

57

Vide "The Cities and Cemeteries of Etruria," by Dennis.

58

De Re rustica.

59

Brut., c. 18

60

Chapter xix., p. 202.

61

Diomedes, iii., p. 486, ed. Putsch.

62

A catapult was an instrument for throwing arrows to a considerable distance. The arrows were called Tormenta, not from the torment they inflicted, but from torqueo, to twist, because they were made of twisted hair, and perhaps the sight of them was calculated to give a turn to the enemy.

63

"The day shall come when Ilium's self shall fall,With Priam and his strong-spear'd people all." —Iliad, vi. 446.

64

Macrobius, Saturnal., lib. ii., c. 1.

65

Plut., Tib. Gracch.

66

Plutarch implies that it was so; but Cicero relates anecdotes showing the fact to have been otherwise.

67

The following question and answer, uttered in a Court of Law on a modern trial, are well known: —

Counsel. "What do you mean by respectable?"

Witness. "He keeps a gig."

68

Sallust, Jugurthine War, c. vi.

69

Some say that Just-in was just-out, on this occasion, for that no comet appeared at the time stated. See Justin, xxxvii. 2, et seq.

70

"De rebus Mithridaticis."

71

As quoted by Plutarch, in Sulla, c. 28.

72

Vide the account given by Appian, c. 102.

73

Plutarch in Sulla, c. 38.

74

Mithridates, Ponticus Rex, vir neque silendus, neque dicendus sine curâ. Vell. Paterc., lib. ii., c. 18.

75

Those who doubt the accuracy of this description, may consult Plutarch's "Life of Crassus."

76

This story of the mattress, though gravely told, is somewhat doubtful, and is hardly worth the straw involved in it.