The Psychology of Salesmanship

XI. Approbativeness. This is the quality which manifests in a desire for praise, flatter, approval, fame, etc. The average Salesman does not need to develop this faculty – his temperament is very apt to make him have it too highly developed. It is all very well to feel a certain pleasure from the approval of others of work well done. But it is a decided weakness for one to be so sensitive to the opinions of others that they suffer from their disapproval, or from the lack of praise. He who is dependent upon the praise of the crowd, or the approval of the mob is a fool, deserving of pity. The crowd is fickle and tomorrow may turn on those whom they are praising to-day. Moreover there is always much secret envy and jealousy mixed with the praise of others.

Did you ever notice how eagerly people relate the slip-up or stumble of those whom they have been praising? Be not deceived by the plaudits of the crowd. Nor should you allow yourself to be deterred from a right course because of fear of blame. Learn to rely on what you, yourself, know to be right. "Be sure you're right, then go ahead." Learn to stand upon your own feet, and do not lean upon others. Shake the crowd off your heels – mind your own business and let others do likewise. And look the world squarely in the eye while you are talking to it, too. It will understand you, if you do not truckle to it. But never cringe to it – else it will rend you to pieces. "They say; what do they say; let them say!" "Do not worry about it – your friends will not care, and your enemies will criticise anyway; so what's the use?" Say to yourself: "I am the Captain of my Soul." And remember Burton's glorious words of freedom and courage:

"Do what thy manhood bids thee do, from none but self expect applause;He noblest lives and noblest dies who makes and keeps his self-made laws.All other Life is living Death, a world where none but Phantoms dwell.A breath, a wind, a sound, a voice, a tinkling of the Camel's bell."

The difference between Egoism and Egotism consists largely of the difference between Self-Respect and Approbativeness. Develop the first, and restrain the second – if you wish to become an Individual. And the successful Salesman is always an Individual – standing out from and above the crowd of the "mere persons" or "order-takers." Be a Man, and not a human looking glass reflecting the ideas, opinions, and wishes of all those around you. Be creative, not imitative. Flattery is the food for apes, not for men.

Personal Expression. While one's personal expression in the direction of clothing, walk, voice, etc., can scarcely be called mental qualities, yet they must be considered as expressions of mental qualities – outward manifestations of inward states. So true is this that people naturally judge one's character by these outward expressions. And, moreover, there is a subtle reaction of one's outward manifestations upon one's mental states. One's walk, carriage and demeanor influence one's mental attitude, as we may prove by changing these outward manifestations and noting our changed feelings. As someone has said: "The consciousness of being well dressed imparts a certain serenity and peace which even religion sometimes fails to give us."

And, as for physical attitudes, etc., hear what several eminent psychologists tell us. Prof. Halleck says: "By inducing an expression we can often cause its allied emotion." Prof. James says: "Whistling to keep up courage is no mere figure of speech. On the other hand, sit all day in a moping posture, sigh, and reply to everything with a dismal voice, and your melancholy lingers. There is no more valuable precept in moral education than this: If we wish to conquer undesirable emotional tendencies in ourselves we must assiduously, and in the first instance cold-bloodedly, go through the outward movements, of those contrary dispositions which we wish to cultivate. Smooth the brow, brighten the eye, contract the dorsal rather than the ventral aspect of the frame, and speak in a major key, pass the genial compliment and your heart must indeed be frigid if it does not gradually thaw."

Dr. Woods Hutchinson says: "To what extent muscular contractions condition emotions, as Prof. James has suggested, may be easily tested by a quaint and simple little experiment upon a group of the smallest voluntary muscles of the body, those that move the eyeball. Choose some time when you are sitting quietly in your room, free from all disturbing thoughts and influences. Then stand up, and assuming an easy position, cast the eyes upward, and hold them in that position for thirty seconds. Instantly and involuntarily you will be conscious of a tendency toward reverential, devotional, contemplative ideas and thoughts. Then turn the eyes sideways, glancing directly to the right or to the left, through half-closed lids. Within thirty seconds images of suspicion, of uneasiness, or of dislike will rise unbidden to the mind. Turn the eyes on one side and slightly downward, and suggestions of jealousy or coquetry will be apt to spring unbidden. Direct your gaze downward toward the floor, and you are likely to go off into a fit of reverie or abstraction." Maudsley says: "The specific muscular action is not merely an exponent of passion, but truly an essential part of it. If we try while the features are fixed in the expression of one passion to call up in the mind a different one, we shall find it impossible to do so."

In view of the above statements, we may readily see the importance of cultivating those outward expressions which are co-related to desirable mental states or feelings. By so doing we arouse in our minds those particular states or feelings. And, moreover, we tend to impress others with the possession on our part of the co-related mental qualities. One's outward expression is a powerful instrument of suggestion to others, and people are unconsciously and instinctively affected by it, to our benefit or detriment. Let us therefore consider, briefly, the general principles underlying personal expression along the lines indicated.

Carriage and Walk. In the first part of the previous chapter, under the sub-head of "Self-Respect" we have given you the advice of a good authority concerning the proper carriage. The key is: Carry yourself in a manner showing your Self-Respect, Poise, and Consideration of Others. Another authority gives the following directions for the correct position in standing: "(1) Heels together; (2) head up, with chin slightly drawn in rather than protruding; (3) eyes front; (4) shoulders thrown back but not elevated; (5) chest expanded; (6) abdomen slightly drawn in, and not allowed to protrude; (7) arms dropped naturally to the sides, with the little fingers lightly touching the sides of the thigh. This may make you feel a little stiff and awkward at first, but, if you persevere, will soon establish itself as second nature with you."

Another authority says: "The easiest way in which to acquire a correct carriage is to imagine that you are suspended from on high with a line, the lowest end of the line being fastened to the lower end of your breast-bone. If you will stand and walk as if you are so suspended, the result will be that you will acquire an easy, graceful, gliding walk, and a correct carriage and natural position." Another authority gives the following advice: "The following method if observed in walking and standing, will impart a desirable physical poise and will keep you erect and in a graceful attitude while walking: Stand with your back toward the wall, with the heels, legs, hips, shoulders and back of head touching the wall, and with the chin slightly drawn in. Press up against the wall firmly. You will find yourself in an uncomfortable position, and one that is unnatural and incorrect. Then, keeping your heels to the wall, allow your body to swing forward into a natural position, being careful to keep the body firm in the same 'form,' avoiding relaxation, swinging yourself forward from the ankle joints alone. When you find that the correct poised, natural position has been attained, hold it, and march forward in what will be the natural, normal, well-balanced walking position. Practice this repeatedly, several times every day, until you have fully acquired the habit."

Shaking Hands. When you grasp another's hand in the act of "shaking hands," do not do so in a listless, cold-blooded manner – do not extend to the other man a flabby, clammy, fish-like hand. But take hold of his hand as if you liked to do it – throw interest into the proceeding. More than this – throw feeling into it. Throw into the hand-clasp the feeling: "I like you, and you like me." Then, when you draw your hand away, if possible let your fingers slide over the palm of his hand in a caressing manner, allowing his first finger to pass between your thumb and forefinger, close up in the crotch of the thumb. Practice this well, until you can perform it without thinking of it. You will find merit in the method. Grasp the other person's hand "as if he were your best girl's millionaire father-in-law."

Voice. The Salesman should cultivate a voice with expression in it. His voice should convey his belief in what he is saying, and his interest in the story. You will find it an aid in this direction if you will learn to visualize your thoughts – that is, to make a mental picture of the thing you are saying. One can always describe better that which they see before them. In the degree that you can see your mental picture, so will be your degree of power in expressing it to another in words, and so will be the degree of feeling in your tone. The voice should express the meaning of your thought rather than being merely the symbol of it. Try to say "Good Morning" as if you meant it – then say it in the usual way. Do you see the difference? Throw your thought and feeling into your voice. Forget all about yourself and the other man and concentrate your thought and feeling into your voice.

Many people make the mistake of "speaking with their muscles instead of with their nerves." They throw muscular energy into their words, when they should use nervous energy, or thought-force. The former has but little effect on the mind of the other, while the second vibrates subtly and reaches the feelings of those addressed. Feel, when you wish to speak impressively, and your tones will reflect the same, and induce a similar feeling in others. It is a point worth remembering that one may "bring down" the voice of an excited person to one's own pitch, if the latter is firmly held at the customary pitch, in a firm manner. Not only does this "bring down" the other man's voice, but his feelings will also follow suit, and besides, you also manage to keep your own temper and poise. Never raise your voice because another raises his – resist the tendency, and maintain your poise and power by so doing. This is worth remembering.

The Eyes. Learn to look people in the eyes when you are speaking to them. Not in a staring manner, but firmly, politely and easily. This may be acquired with a little practice. Practice on yourself in the mirror if you prefer. A shifting, restless gaze produces a bad impression, while a firm, honest gaze will incline people in your favor. You will find that strong men – men who influence others – almost always have a firm, strong gaze. It is worth practice, work and time, to acquire this personal trait.

Конец ознакомительного фрагмента.

Текст предоставлен ООО «ЛитРес».

Прочитайте эту книгу целиком, купив полную легальную версию на ЛитРес.

Безопасно оплатить книгу можно банковской картой Visa, MasterCard, Maestro, со счета мобильного телефона, с платежного терминала, в салоне МТС или Связной, через PayPal, WebMoney, Яндекс.Деньги, QIWI Кошелек, бонусными картами или другим удобным Вам способом.