Single Father: Wife and Mother Wanted

‘Even better. Glad to meet you, Caitlin Butler-Brown.’

She couldn’t have replied if her life depended on it.

A grunt of pain from the mare gave her the will to reclaim her hand…and her mind. She curled her fingers into a tight fist to quell the lingering fizz of the connection.

She forced her mind to the job at hand. ‘If I do need to scrub, is there anywhere handy I can get soap and water?’

‘I have water in the car. And I’ve got a bottle of alcohol hand sanitiser in my bag.’

‘That’ll do the job. Thanks.’

The scratch and hiss of a match announced Jim’s return. She realised he was beside her, puffing on a cigarette in agitated gasps. The smell of smoke hung, unpleasant, on the crisp morning air, but Caitlin couldn’t bring herself to complain. She was glad he was there, a defence of sorts against the man at her other shoulder.

Long minutes crawled by as they watched the mare.

‘Dad?’

Caitlin’s system jolted. Dad? She turned slightly, aware of Matt doing the same, to see a slim boy of about ten standing behind them. Except for his dark hair he was the spitting image of the man beside her. Matt had a child. He was married…or at least very committed. A surprising disappointment stabbed her square in the chest.

‘I thought I told you to wait in the car,’ said Matt.

‘But I wanted to see the horse.’ The boy stared at the groaning mare.

‘Mmm. That makes all the difference, of course.’ He ruffled the boy’s hair. ‘Caitlin, this is my son, Nicky. Nicky, this is Dr Butler-Brown. She’s a vet.’

‘Nice to meet you, Nicky.’ Despite her disturbing reactions about his father, she didn’t have to fake a smile for the boy—he was adorable. ‘You can call me Caitlin.’

‘Hi.’ Anxious green eyes lifted to meet hers. ‘What’s wrong with him? Is he sick?’

‘No, not sick.’ Caitlin glanced over at the mare and smiled again, knowing Nicky needed reassurance. ‘It’s a mare and she’s going to have a foal.’

‘Wow. A foal? Like…now?’

She chuckled softly. ‘Yes, very much like now.’

‘Can I watch?’

She looked at Matt.

He shrugged. ‘Sure.’

‘Thanks, Dad.’

Matt’s eyebrows came together sternly. ‘This doesn’t mean you’re off the hook, sport.’

‘I know.’ Nicky looked both angelic and cheeky as he grinned up at his father.

The loving affection in the look the two exchanged brought a lump to Caitlin’s throat. Instinctively, she knew Nicky would never doubt his place in Matt’s heart.

Her eyes stung as she turned away. It was like getting a glimpse into the way a family should work, one where love was given unconditionally. The kind of family she would never be a part of. The insight was stunning. Powerful. Beautiful.

The mare moved restlessly. Another contraction and the membranes ruptured with a watery rush. Caitlin’s focus sharpened. Spindly legs and a tiny narrow head were clearly visible. The delivery should proceed quickly now.

The minutes stretched and her instincts began to clamour. She drew in a deep breath and held it for several seconds. Something was wrong.

She licked dry lips then turned to Matt. ‘I’m going to need that alcohol sanitiser after all, please, Matt. I need to check the foal’s position.’

‘Right.’

Jim fidgeted, pulling at the waistband of his grubby jeans. ‘What’s happening?’

‘Your mare’s not progressing as quickly as I’d like now that her waters have broken,’ said Caitlin calmly. ‘Did you have any scans done on her through the pregnancy?’

‘Nope. She didn’t need ’em.’

So, no clues as to what the problem might be. Caitlin prayed it was a straightforward abnormal presentation. Anything more complex could be hard to deal with under these circumstances. And with Nicky there, too.

‘Have you got any clean cloths in your truck, Mr Neilson?’

The cigarette dangling from the corner of his mouth bobbed as he thought about it. ‘There’s a bunch of towels the missus forgot to take out yesterday.’

They’d do. ‘Could you get them for me, please?’

Jim nodded, casting the mare a worried look as he headed to his vehicle.

Matt was back with his bag and a bottle of clear gel.

She stripped off her ribbed jumper, looked for somewhere to put it. Matt was one step ahead of her. ‘Grab Caitlin’s top for her, please, Nicky.’

‘Thank you.’ She smiled at Nicky as he held out his hands.

He clutched the jumper. She could feel his eyes following her every move as she squeezed out a generous handful of gel and rubbed her arm from fingertips to shoulder.

‘Are you going to take the foal out now?’

Without stopping her preparation, she sent him a gentle smile. ‘I’m going to feel how he’s lying inside his mother, Nicky. I think the wee fellow might not be in quite the right position and that’s making it hard for him to be born.’

‘Will it hurt?’

‘The mare? It might make her a bit uncomfortable but we need to help her so she can push her baby out.’

‘What can I do?’ asked Matt softly, as she dosed one of his gauze pads with the alcohol solution.

‘I’ll get you to hold her tail away for me.’ She knelt at the mare’s straining haunches and Matt crouched beside her. Frosty dampness from the grass seeped through the denim of her jeans, chilling her skin as she waited for a contraction to pass.

With one hand braced on the mare’s rump, she threaded her other hand beneath the spindly front legs as the foal’s nose slipped back. She felt the knobbly knees, the bones of the mare’s pelvis and then…the problem. Another pair of hooves. The hind legs were engaged. They needed to be manoeuvred back down the birth canal before the forequarters could slip free.

A long contraction gripped her arm in a punishing hot vice. Caitlin closed her eyes and breathed through the pain. As soon as the muscles released she pushed the tiny feet with all her strength. No movement.

Another contraction. She couldn’t suppress a tiny gasp as the powerful muscles clamped around her flesh. She felt a hand on her shoulder, opened her eyes to find Matt looking straight at her.

‘You’re doing great,’ he murmured. His green gaze drilled into her eyes, as though he could transfer his strength to her. Unexpectedly, she realised she did feel a lightening, an ebbing of tension.

She nodded once, felt the contraction ease. ‘This time.’ She pushed. The feet moved. A tiny bit at first, before slipping back under the foal’s stomach.

‘That should do it.’ She slid her arm out and sat back on her heels. The ache in her muscles slowly subsided. Out of the corner of her eye, Caitlin saw Nicky’s runners tiptoe to a halt beside Matt’s knees.

The mare gathered herself for another huge push and the foal slid onto the ground. Steam rose from the ominously still little body.

‘Is it okay?’ whispered Nicky.

‘Yes.’ Caitlin knew the declaration was reckless. But she felt compelled to make it. And there was no way she was going to let the foal be anything else. Later she might be able to analyse her need to shield this child she’d only just met.

For now she had work to do.

A promise to keep.

CHAPTER THREE

CAITLIN leaned forward to strip remnants of birth sac from the foal’s perfectly formed face and clear the small nostrils. She placed her hand on the chest just behind the sharp little elbow. The fine ribs felt impossibly fragile as she felt for a heartbeat. Relief surged as a pulse fluttered against her palm.

‘Matt, can I get you to raise her hindquarters, like this?’ She flipped a towel around the haunches and lifted.

‘Sure.’ He moved to take her place. Back at the foal’s head, she blocked one of the delicate nostrils and blew a breath into the other, watching as the chest inflated.

Come on, little one. You can do it.

After the ribs lowered, a second breath. Her mind willed life into the filly.

A moment later, she was rewarded with a quiver of movement. A tiny snort.

Caitlin sat back on her heels and took a deep breath, hoping the others wouldn’t see the tears that were perilously close to the surface.

‘Let’s move back and give them a little space,’ she said, taking refuge in practical details. ‘If the mare’s comfortable she’ll stay down for a little longer. The less intervention, the better she’ll bond with her bairn.’

‘That was awesome, Caitlin,’ said Nicky shyly, as they moved back a short distance. ‘You gave it mouth to mouth just like we learned at swimming…only different.’

‘Clever boy, Nicky.’ She smiled at him. ‘It is different. Horses can’t breathe through their mouths like we can. So the filly needed mouth-to-nostril resuscitation.’

The foal sat up, the small head lifted unsteadily, looking comically lop-eared.

Now that the emergency was over, Caitlin began to notice the cold air on her bare arms.

‘Here.’ Matt held out his windcheater. ‘Put this on before you get a chill.’

‘Oh, no. Please, it’s not necessary.’ She turned away quickly to reach for the jumper Nicky was still holding. The thought of wearing something of Matt’s was more than she could cope with. Too much like an embrace from the man himself, all that warmth and the delicious smell from his body would surround her. He was disturbing enough just standing beside her. ‘Thanks, but this will do. It’s only, um, an old top.’

Matt shrugged back into his windcheater. A sharp sting of rejection at her sudden withdrawal was uncomfortable.

‘Look, Dad. She’s trying to stand up.’

Sure enough, the foal’s long legs scrambled at the ground. It seemed to be a signal to the mare as she heaved herself to her feet. She turned to lick the coat of her newborn, intently checking her baby over.

Matt smiled, his heart squeezing. In an oblique way the scene reminded him of Nicky’s birth. The precious moment when his son had been placed in his arms, tiny hands waving as the infant had yelled his displeasure.

The mare became more insistent, with nudges to the miniature haunches. Spurred on by the encouragement, the foal manoeuvred awkward limbs, pushing up with her hindquarters until she stood, albeit unsteadily. She looked all leg and large bony joints. A few staggering steps took her to the mare’s flank where she nuzzled determinedly until she latched onto the teat.

‘Congratulations, Mr Neilson,’ said Caitlin softly. ‘You’ve a grand little filly.’

‘With a little help,’ said Matt, determined that Jim should give Caitlin her due.

Jim cleared his throat. ‘I’d have managed.’

Matt opened his mouth but Caitlin was there before him with a sweet smile for the cranky old man. ‘Of course you would have, Mr Neilson.’

Matt had the satisfaction of seeing the older man’s double take.

‘Ah. Yes. Well, anyway, er, thanks. Just as well to have a vet here.’ Jim’s mouth snapped shut as though he was surprised by the words he’d just said.

‘My pleasure.’

Matt stifled an abrupt urge to laugh. She’d handled Jim beautifully, better than he would have, wringing reluctant gratitude from the man with nothing more than a smile.

‘She’ll expel the placenta over the next couple of hours now her bairn’s nursing. You’ll know to leave that well enough alone, of course.’

‘Of course.’ Jim shuffled.

Caitlin was obviously unconvinced because she went on smoothly with her warning. ‘Any pulling could lead to infection or prolapse of your mare’s uterus. If the placenta hasn’t cleared in a few hours, you need to call your vet.’

Bloodstains marred the sleeves of her pink top. The knees of her jeans were dark with dampness and there was dirt on the toes of her boots. Matt had never seen a woman look more beautiful than she was right now. She was marvellous. That willingness to get in and get her hands dirty, literally, without worrying about her appearance. No complaints. A practical woman.

She hitched a shoulder to rub her cheek. Matt suddenly realised her hands were still wet and grubby.

‘I’ve got soap and water in the car, if you’d like to clean up.’

She hesitated and for a moment he thought she was going to refuse. ‘I would, yes. Thank you. Goodbye, Mr Neilson. I wish you well with your mare and foal.’

‘Yeah.’ He cleared his throat. ‘Like I said, ah, thanks.’

Matt walked silently back to the car listening to Nicky chatter to Caitlin about how he was going to tell his class about the birth. Now that the excitement was over, Matt had time to wonder more about her. Who was she and why was she here? If she was a tourist, perhaps he could convince her that Garrangay was a good place to use as a base for seeing Western Victoria. What were her plans?

Not that it was any of his business…but for some reason he wanted to know.

At the station wagon, he got out the water bottle and liquid soap.

‘Did you want to wash…?’ He indicated her arm.

‘No. No, just my hands. Thanks. I can have a shower later.’

He tipped liquid into her cupped hands, watching while she lathered her slender fingers.

‘Have you got far to travel?’ He congratulated himself on striking just the right note of casual interest.

‘I haven’t, no.’ She was going to be staying locally? Anticipation tightened his gut.

‘What brings you out this way?’ There was an odd suspended second when her movements seemed to falter. ‘Holiday? Work?’

She’d resumed scrubbing vigorously and Matt wondered if he’d imagined the moment.

‘Secret mission?’ he joked, when she didn’t answer.

Wide, startled eyes, dark with some suppressed emotion, flicked up to his and away. Was it guilt? Surely not.

‘Could I have some more water, please?’

Silently, he rinsed away the suds and handed her a cloth.

‘I’m between jobs,’ she said, finally. ‘I thought…. It seemed like a good opportunity to see something of Victoria.’

The answer was reasonable. But her reaction told him it wasn’t the entire story.

‘Are you staying locally? I can recommend somewhere that makes a good base for sightseeing.’

‘Thank you, but…no. I—I have…plans.’

The change from competent, compassionate professional to tongue-tied uncertainty seemed odd. The frown pleating her forehead, the tight line of her mouth, the agitated way she dried her hands all screamed, No trespassing. Had he unwittingly touched on something personal…painful?

His gaze drifted over the rapidly clearing mist in the paddock as he mentally replayed the conversation. Nothing he’d said seemed unforgivably insensitive.

She was about to disappear from his life. Bemused by the compulsion, he nevertheless wanted to say something to tempt her to stay. But he’d already stumbled in a way he didn’t understand. Regret tugged at him, leaving him off balance. Perhaps it was just as well she was moving on.

A kookaburra began to laugh, the great whooping chuckles echoing into the air. Abruptly, the sound stopped, leaving a profound silence in its wake.

He forced his mouth into a smile. ‘If you’re ever out this way again, look us up. We’d like that, wouldn’t we, Nicky?’

‘Yes!’

‘You’re very kind.’ She smiled gently at his son.

By the time her grey eyes transferred their gaze up to his, there was no trace of warmth left. She handed him back the cloth. ‘Perhaps you could invite your wife. We could make it a family outing.’

No puzzle about his misstep here. ‘Ex.’

‘Sorry?’

‘Ex-wife. I’m divorced.’

‘Oh. I’m sorry.’ Pink spots flared in Caitlin’s cheeks, her eyes shadowed with vexation. ‘I didn’t mean…’

‘Don’t be.’ Matt said, wanting to make sure she understood. ‘It’s old history.’

Caitlin’s mouth opened, then closed, her teeth biting her full bottom lip.

‘Mum lives in Melbourne,’ said Nicky, with a complete lack of awareness of the undercurrents in the conversation. ‘She hardly ever visits.’

‘I…see. Well, I—I should be going.’ She looked towards the paddock. ‘Please, be sure to tell Mr Neilson he shouldn’t trailer the mare and foal for at least a week.’

‘I’ll tell him. It’ll be a while before the tow truck gets here to pull him out. He’ll have a chance to get used to the idea.’

There was a brief silence, then Caitlin held out her hand. ‘It’s been an interesting morning, Dr Matt Gardiner.’

‘It has, Dr Caitlin Butler-Brown.’ He squeezed her hand gently, reluctant to let her go. ‘Drive safely.’

‘I will, yes.’ She retrieved her hand.

‘Goodbye, then.’ She smiled at Nicky. ‘You were great over there at the foal’s birth.’

‘All I did was hold your jumper.’

‘That, too, but mostly you were cool and calm when things weren’t going so well. That’s a big thing.’

‘Thanks.’ Matt watched as his son all but wriggled with pleasure.

Caitlin turned and walked to her car, aware of a lingering regret to be saying goodbye.

Her fingers were still warm from the pressure of Matt’s hand. She’d been prepared for the zing of his touch this time. And it had helped. Just.

Father and son were watching as she slid into the driver’s seat. She winced about her embarrassing mistake—though who could blame her for thinking there would be a wife and mother waiting for them at home? What woman in her right mind would let such a darling pair go?

But, then, her own mother had demonstrated time and again how much more important research was when weighed against a husband’s or a daughter’s welfare. Only the dogged persistence of Caitlin’s father, following his wife around the globe, had kept the family together.

She started the car, put it in gear and accelerated away.

A glance in the rear-view mirror revealed Matt was still there, one hand on his car roof, his head tilted slightly. He’d gathered Nicky to his side with his free hand.

A shadowy shiver surprised her as she took a final glance in the mirror. Matt and Nicky’s figures were now tiny. She shook her head, irritated by the illogical trend of her thoughts. The feeling that the man was important to her in some way was plain daft. As was her wayward delight that he was single. Single didn’t mean available. He certainly wasn’t available to her. No man was. Especially not a family man.

She turned the corner, almost relieved to be able to dispose of the last tiny physical trace of them.

Matt’s presence lingered in her mind, though. A secret mission, he’d suggested. He’d been joking but the words had held enough truth to tip her off balance. She was here for a reason. Not underhand but not straightforward and open either.

How do you introduce yourself to an aunt who doesn’t know you exist? How do you tell a woman that her long-lost brother died with an apology on his lips?

‘Da, you’ve left me in an impossible situation.’

Caitlin sniffed, blinking away the quick rush of moisture that blurred her vision.

She was here to gather information, to decide how to handle this delicate family matter. There was going to be pain, that was unavoidable in the circumstances, but she wanted to minimise the suffering if she could…for herself, for her unknown aunt, for whoever else might be involved.

The last thing she needed was a complication in the form of a man. Especially one with a child. Regardless of how charming they both were.

It wouldn’t be fair to them. She didn’t do relationships or family well.

She didn’t know how to make them work, had no blueprint to guide her. Her mother hadn’t wanted children at all. While Caitlin knew her father had loved her, his first priority had always been his wife.

A grey cloud of gloom settled over her. Because now here she was in rural Victoria to see if she could reforge the ties her father had cut with his family decades ago.

And experience showed she’d inherited her parents’ inability to make family relationships work.

No, she had no business wishing she could see more of Matt and his precious son. None whatsoever.

CHAPTER FOUR

STRUCK out big time. Matt’s mood dipped as the MG rounded a curve and disappeared behind a stand of scrubby bush. Once upon a time, he might have managed a phone number.

Nicky shifted. Stifling a sigh, Matt roused himself.

‘She’s nice.’ Nicky looked up. ‘I like her.’

‘Me, too, mate.’ Perhaps just a tad too much. He couldn’t put himself on the line in a relationship again, leave himself vulnerable the way he had with Sophie. That had nearly destroyed him. If he hadn’t had to pull himself together for Nicky’s sake, Matt wondered how he’d have ended up.

Since the end of his marriage his interest in female company had been precisely zero. A chance meeting with a little Irish veterinarian had changed that.

Maybe his foster-mother was right. Maybe he did need to get out more. She was always encouraging him to find a good woman. A partner for him, a mother for Nicky. Prospects were trawled under his nose from time to time. Doreen made no secret of wanting more grandchildren.

He’d have to put Caitlin Butler-Brown down to experience, as the one that got away, and make more of a commitment to his social life. The thought of leaping back into the dating game made him shudder. But leaping anywhere with a certain veterinarian for some reason seemed outrageously appealing. Which showed that the scars from his marriage hadn’t completely killed his masculinity after all.

One look and his wary heart wanted nothing more than to plop into Caitlin’s clever, caring hands. He should be looking for a nice country girl. Much more sensible. Though perhaps not. He grimaced wryly. His ex-wife, Sophie, had been a home-grown Garrangay girl. And their marriage had been a total disaster.

‘Let’s go and talk to Mr Neilson and then we can head home.’ With one last glance along the empty road, he followed Nicky back towards the float and truck.

Jim was watching the foal’s increasingly confident forays.

‘Your mare and foal need to stay here for at least a week. Vet’s orders,’ said Matt.

‘A week! I can’t leave her here that long,’ Jim gasped.

‘You don’t have a choice,’ Matt said. ‘You were a damned fool to try and move her so close to foaling. And you know it. Caitlin hasn’t saved your mare for you to risk the animal’s life again. Organising agistment here until she’s fit to travel is a small price to pay.’

Jim coughed and spluttered before he nodded grudgingly. ‘Here, you’d better take this. Your friend left it.’ He held out Caitlin’s black padded jacket.

Matt’s fingers sank into the down-filled softness and warmed instantly. Her perfume wafted up, the floral tang bringing a sharp memory of clear, smiling, grey eyes.

Resolutely, he tightened his grip. It was an expensive garment, the sort that someone would want back.

‘Thanks. I’ll get it back to her. Come on, Nicky.’

Whistling softly, he tucked the coat under his arm and set off across the paddock. He had a cast-iron excuse for tracking her down without looking like some sort of unbalanced weirdo.

He knew her name. Knew she was a veterinarian with delightful hints of an Irish accent. How hard could it be?

Nothing she’d said gave him a clue where she was staying, except that it was somewhere in the area. He knew where he’d start. With his foster-mother and her contacts in the local accommodation industry. If he had to, he’d work his way through every motel, bed and breakfast, hotel and hostel in the district.

The Grampians loomed over her aunt’s bed and breakfast. Remnants of fog clinging around the base did nothing to soften the daunting majesty. Despite the late morning sun, Caitlin shivered. The stark, craggy range glowered down at her, challenging her right to be there.

Her stomach clenched as doubts suddenly swamped her. Perhaps she should have written first. Prepared her aunt. How would the poor woman react to having a stranger drop into her life without warning?

Not for the first time, she wondered if her father had had other siblings. Was there a whole host of aunts and uncles and cousins lurking in Garrangay? She swallowed as her heart skipped uncomfortably.