Literary Byways

“Our Recorder, Sam Warren, from all that I hear,Is one of the kindest of men,For a friend he presents with ‘Ten Thousand a Year,’And adds to the gift ‘Now and Then.’”

Mr. William Harrison Ainsworth, the romance writer, was very unpopular with the contributors of Punch, and many were the satires on him in its pages. Colburn published a magazine, in which many of Ainsworth’s novels appeared, and this gave rise to the following epigram: —

“Says Ainsworth to Colburn:‘A plan in my pate isTo give my romance asA supplement gratis.’“Says Colburn to Ainsworth:‘’Twill do very nicely,For that will be chargingIts value precisely.’”

In early manhood, Edwin Paxton Hood called upon Bulwer Lytton without any introduction. The servant told him that his master could not be seen. On receiving the intimation, Hood took out of his pocket pencil and paper, and wrote as follows: —

“A son of song, to fame unknown,Stands waiting in your hall below;Your footman tells him to begone;Say, mighty Bulwer, shall he go?”

It is not surprising to learn that the impromptu lines proved an effective introduction. The interview was the first of many pleasant meetings between the author of The Caxtons and Mr. Paxton Hood.

Poetical Graces

Literary by-paths furnish some singular specimens of poetical graces. We produce a few for the entertainment of our readers.

Robert Fergusson, the Edinburgh poet, was born in 1751, and was a student at St. Andrews’ University from his thirteenth to his seventeenth year. It was the duty of each student, in turn, to ask a blessing at the dinner table. One day, to the consternation of all, the youthful bard repeated the following lines:

“For rabbits young, and for rabbits old,For rabbits hot, and for rabbits cold,For rabbits tender, and for rabbits tough,Our thanks we render, for we’ve had enough.”

The masters of the college deliberated how they should punish the graceless poet. It was finally resolved not to censure him, but to have in the future a more spare supply of rabbits. Poor Fergusson’s sad career closed in a lunatic asylum at an early age, not, however, before he had enriched Scottish poetical literature with some important contributions.

Burns appears to have had a great admiration for this wayward son of song. He placed over his remains in the Canongate Churchyard, Edinburgh, a tombstone bearing the following inscription: —

“Here lies Robert Fergusson,

Poet, born September 5th, 1751,

Died October 16th, 1774.

No sculptured marble here, nor pompous layNo storied urn, nor animated bust;This simple stone directs pale Scotia’s wayTo pour her sorrows o’er her Poet’s dust.”

On the back of the stone it is stated: —

“By special grant of the Managers to Robert Burns, who erected this stone, this burial place is ever to remain sacred to the memory of Robert Fergusson.”

More than one poetical grace is attributed to the facile pen of Burns. His grace before dinner is well known, and is as follows: —

“Oh Thou who kindly dost provideFor every creature’s want!We bless Thee, God of nature wide,For all Thy goodness lent:And if it please Thee, Heavenly guide,May never worse be sent,But whether granted or denied,Lord, bless us with content.”

It is said that at one of Burns’s convivial dinners he was desired to say grace, and he gave the following, impromptu:

“O Lord we do Thee humbly thankFor what we little merit; —Now Jean may tak’ the flesh away,And Will bring on the spirit.”

On one occasion a rhymster, who had placed before him a supper small in quantity and poor in quality, invoked a blessing with the following lines: —

“O Thou who bless’d the loaves and fishesLook down upon these two poor dishes;And though the ’tatoes be but small,Lord make them large enough for all;For if they do our bellies fill,’Twill be a wondrous miracle.”

This reminds us of an epigram entitled “Dress v. Dinner:” —

What is the reason, can you guess,Why men are poor, and women thinner?So much do they for dinner dress,There’s nothing left to dress for dinner.

On a graceless peer an epigrammatist wrote: —

“‘By proxy I pray, and by proxy I vote,’A graceless peer said to a churchman of note;Who answered,‘My lord, then I venture to say,You’ll to heaven ascend in a similar way.’”

Here is a grateful grace: —

“Some hae meat that canna eat,An’ some cou’d eat that want it;But we hae meat, an’ we can eat,Sae let the Lord be thankit.”

The Rev. Samuel Wesley, formerly vicar of Epworth, and another friend were entertained to dinner at Temple Belwood, by a host noted as a strange compound of avarice and oddity. Mr. Wesley returned thanks with the following impromptu lines: —

“Thanks for the feast, for ’tis no lessThan eating manna in the wilderness,Here meagre famine bears controlless sway,And ever drives each fainting wretch away.Yet here, O how beyond a saint’s belief,We’ve seen the glories of a chine of beef;Here chimneys smoke, which never smoked before,And we have dined, where we shall dine no more.”

In conclusion we give a vegetarian grace. The first four lines are to be said before the meal: —

“These fruits do Thou, O Father, bless,Which Mother Earth to us doth give;No blood doth stain our feast to day,In Thee we trust, and peaceful live.”

The next is a form of thanksgiving after a vegetarian meal: —

“We thank Thee, Lord, for these Thy fruits,Which Mother Earth to us doth give;No blood hath stained our feast to-day,In Thee we trust, and peaceful live!”

Poetry on Panes

In a variety of places, but more especially in old village inns, reflections in verse, good, bad, and indifferent, have been found scratched upon window-panes. We have carefully copied the best examples which have come under our notice, and present a batch herewith, believing that they may entertain our readers.

A genial old Yorkshire parson appears at the commencement of the present century to have been greatly pleased with an inn situated between Northallerton and Boroughbridge, for he visited it daily to enjoy his pipe and glass. On one of its window-panes he inscribed some lines, of which the following is a literal copy: —

“Here in my wicker chair I sitt,From folly far, and far from witt,Content to live, devoid of care,With country folks and country fare;To listen to my landlord’s tale,And drink his health in Yorkshire ale;Then smoak and read the York Courant;I’m happy and ’tis all I want.Though few my tythes, and light my purse,I thank my God it is no worse.”

Here is another Yorkshire example, written towards the close of the last century; it is from an old wayside inn near Harewood-bridge, on the Leeds and Harrogate road: —

“Gaily I lived, as Ease and Nature taught,And passed my little Life without a thought;I wonder, then, why Death, that tyrant grim,Should think of me, who never thought of him.”

Under the foregoing, the following was written:

“Ah! why forget that Death should think of thee;If thou art Mortal, such must surely be;Then rouse up reason, view thy hast’ning end,And lose no time to make God thy Friend.”

In the old coaching days, the Dog and Doublet, at Sandon, Staffordshire, was a popular house. A guest wrote on one of its window panes the following recommendation: —

“Most travellers to whom these roads are known,Would rather stay at Sandon than at Stone!Good chaises, horses, treatment, and good wines,They always meet with at James Ballantine’s.”

A penniless poet wrote on a tavern window-pane the lines: —

“O Chalk! to me, and to the poor, a friend,On Thee my life and happiness depend;On Thee with joy, with gratitude I think,For, by thy bounty, I both eat and drink.”

“Chalk” is a slang word for credit. Innkeepers kept their accounts on the back of a door, written with chalk.

The following epigram was written under a pane disfigured with autographs: —

“Should you ever chance to see,A man’s name writ on a glass,Be sure he owns a diamond,And his parent owns an ass.”

On the accession of Her Majesty, this jeu d’esprit was inscribed on an inn window: —

“The Queen’s with us, the Whigs exulting say;For when she found us in, she let us stay.It may be so; but give me leave to doubtHow long she’ll keep you when she finds you out.”

The following lines dated 1793, were written on a window-pane at the Hotel des Pays Bas, Spa Belgium: —

“I love but one, and only one,Ah, Damon, thou art he!Love thou but one, and only one,And let that one be me!”

Early in the present century, it was customary for the actors to write their names on the panes in one of the windows of the York Theatre. On the glass of the same window were found inscribed these lines.

“The rich man’s name embellished stands on brass;The player simply scribbles his on glass,Appropriate tablet to the wayward fate —A brittle shining, evanescent state:The fragile glass destroyed – farewell the name;The actor’s glass consumed – farewell his fame.”

Our next example, dated 1834, from Purwell Hall, Batley, Yorkshire, was composed by a Miss Taylor. It is generally believed that her heart was won by a lover who did not meet with the approbation of her friends, and that they made her prisoner in one of the rooms of the old Hall, and there, on a pane of glass, were written the lines which follow: —

“Come, gentle Muse, wont to divertCorroding cares from anxious heart;Adjust me now to bear the smartOf a relenting angry heart.What though no being I have on earth,Though near the place that gave me birth,And kindred less regard do payThan thy acquaintance of to-day:Know what the best of men declare,That they on earth but strangers are,Nor matter it a few years henceHow fortune did to thee dispense,If – in a palace thou hast dwelt,Or – in a cell of penury felt —Ruled as a prince – served as a slave,Six feet of earth is all thou’lt have.Hence give my thoughts a nobler theme,Since all the world is but a dreamOf short endurance.”

Robert Burns wrote several lines on tavern windows. On a pane of glass at the Queensberry Arms, Sanquhar, he inscribed the following.

“Ye gods! ye gave to me a wifeOut of your grace and favour,To be a comfort to my life;And I was glad to have her.But if your providence divineFor other ends design her,To obey your will at any time,I’m ready to resign her.”

Next may be quoted: —

“Envy, if thy jaundiced eyeThrough this window chance to pry,To thy sorrow, thou wilt findAll that’s generous, all that’s kind:Virtue, friendship, every graceDwelling in this happy place.”

Burns’s lines written on the window-panes of the Globe Tavern, Dumfries, have frequently been quoted. The following inscription refers to the charms of the daughter of the factor of Closeburn estate, when the poet resided at Ellisland: —

“O lovely Polly Stewart,O charming Polly Stewart,There’s not a flower that blooms in May,That’s half so fair as thou art.”

In some editions of the poet’s works, the following verse, stated to have been copied from a window of the same tavern, is given: —

“The graybeard, Old Wisdom, may boast of his treasures;Grant me with gay Folly to live;I grant him his calm-blooded, time settled pleasures;But Folly has raptures to give.”

Such are a few of the many rhymes scratched upon glass. Some of the panes on which they were inscribed may now be broken, and this may be the only means of preserving them.

English Folk-Rhymes

English folk-rhymes are very numerous and curious. Characteristics of persons and places have given rise to not a few which are frequently far from complimentary. Weather-lore is often expressed in rhyme; the rustic muse has besides rendered historic events popular, and enabled persons to remember them who are not readers of books. The lines often lack polish, but are seldom without point.

Amongst the more ancient rhymes are those respecting grants of land. The following is a good example, and is from Derbyshire: —

“Me and mineGive thee and thineMillners HayAnd Shining Cliff,While grass is greenAnd hollies rough.”

The old story of the grant is thus related. Years ago, a member of the ancient family of Lowe had the honour of hunting with the king and his nobles. Lowe rode a splendid horse, the only one in at the death. The king admired the animal very much, and the owner presented it to His Majesty. The horse “mightily pleased the king.” Some little time afterwards, Lowe waited upon the king to beg a brier bed and a watering-place, which were Shining Cliff and Millners Hay. The request was at once complied with. The tale does not end here. It is related that “an envious courtier told the king that he did not know what he was doing, for what he was giving away was a great wood with a large tract of land.” Upon this, Lowe said to His Majesty: “King or no king?” – “Why, king, Lowe.” Adding with prompitude: “The brier-bed and watering-place are thine:” the rhyme above quoted being given as the title for the grant.

It is asserted that Athelstan granted the first charter to the ancient borough of Hedon, Yorkshire, in these words: —

“As free make I theeAs eye see or ear hear.”

It is said a similar charter was granted by the same king to the neighbouring town of Beverley.

An old, old Norfolk rhyme says: —

“Rising was a seaport town,And Lynn it was a wash;But now Lynn is a seaport town,And Rising fares the worst.”

It is said at Norwich: —

“Caistor was a city ere Norwich was none,And Norwich was built of Caistor stone.”

“About half-way between Curbar and Brompton, to the right of the turnpike leading from Barlow to Sheffield,” writes William Wood, “there is, far on the moor, a very level flat piece of ground, near a mile square, most remarkable for its boggy nature, so much so that it is dangerous to cross, or at times to approach. Here, before the Roman invasion, says the legend, stood a town or village, the inhabitants of which lived, according to Diodorus Siculus, in small cots or huts built of wood, the walls of stakes or wattles, like hurdles, and covered with rushes or reeds. These dwellings, with their inhabitants, were swallowed up by one of those convulsions of nature so destructive at times to the habitations of mankind.” Respecting Leechfield and Chesterfield are the following lines current in Derbyshire: —

“When Leechfield was a market town,Chesterfield was gorse and broom;Now Chesterfield’s a market town,Leechfield a marsh is grown.”

Respecting Nertoun, a Somersetshire village, near Taunton, is this couplet: —

“Nertoun was a market-townWhen Taunton was a furzy down.”

A Scottish rhyme says: —

“York was, London is,And Edinburgh will beThe biggest of the three.”

Says a popular English rhyme: —

“Lincoln was, London is,And York shall beThe fairest city of the three.”

In the days of old it was the practice to allow the wives of the Lord Mayors of York to retain by courtesy the title Lady for life, and this custom gave rise to the following couplet: —

“The Lord Mayor’s a lord but a year and a day;But his Lady’s a lady for ever and aye.”

Few English towns have made greater progress than the thriving port of Hull. Its prosperity was predicted long ago: —

“When Myton is pulled down,Hull shall become a great town.”

As a matter of history, it may be stated that when the town was threatened by Charles I., a number of houses in Myton Lane, as well as the Charter-house, were laid in ruins by Sir John Hotham, governor of Hull, so that they might not give shelter to the Royalists. Ray refers to this couplet, and, in error, calls Myton, Dighton.

Selling church-bells has given rise to satirical rhymes. Here are three Lincolnshire rhymes on this topic: —

“The poor Hatton peopleSold the bells to build up the steeple.”

The next says: —

“Owersby’s parish,Wicked people,Sold their bells to KelseyTo build a steeple.”

It is stated in the third: —

“Poor Scartho people,Sold their bells to repair the steeple.”

About 1710, the spire of Arlesey Church, Bedfordshire, fell down, and it is believed the bells were broken. The metal was sold to a distant parish to raise money to rebuild the spire, and until the year 1877 only one small bell was suspended in the steeple to call the inhabitants to the house of prayer. The transaction gave rise to the saying: —

“Arlesey, Arlesey, wicked people,Sold their bells to build their steeple.”

About half a century later, a similar accident occurred at Welstead, and the bishop granted a license to sell three of the bells, to enable the parishioners with the proceeds to restore the tower. It gave rise to a taunting distich similar to the one at Arlesey.

On the walls of Newington Church, London, in 1793, was written a rhyme anent the rebuilding of the church without a steeple and selling the bells: —

“Pious parson, pious peopleSold the bells to build the steeple;A very fine trick of the Newington people,To sell the bells to build a steeple.”

Rhymes on steeples are very common; perhaps the best known is the one on Preston, Lancashire: —

“Proud Preston, poor people,High church and low steeple.”

In a somewhat similar strain is the one on Bowness-on-Windermere: —

“New church and old steeple,Poor town and proud people.”

Lincolnshire rhymes are very numerous, and a complete collection would almost fill a book. Here are three: —

“Gainsbro’ proud peopleBuilt a new church to an old steeple.”

According to the next: —

“Luddington poor peopleBuilt a brick church to a stone steeple.”

A question is put and answered thus: —

“Boston! Boston!What hast thou to boast on?High steeple, proud people,And shoals that souls are lost on.”

The village of Ugley, Essex, supplies a satirical couplet: —

“Ugley church, Ugley steeple,Ugley parson, Ugley people.”

An old triplet describes the characteristics of three church spires thus: —

“Bloxham for length,Adderbury for strength,King-Sutton for beauty.”

Almost every district furnishes examples of bell rhymes. We give one example, and it is from Derbyshire: —

“Crich two roller-boulders,Winfield ting-tangs,Alfreton kettles,And Pentrich pans,Kirk-Hallam candlesticks,Cossall cow-bells,Denby cracked puncheons,And Horsley merry bells.”

It is very generally believed in Derbyshire that the town of Alfreton was once the stake at a game of cards – “put,” and that the loser exclaimed on the cards being dealt out: —

“If I have not an ace, a deuce, and tray,Farewell, Alfreton, for ever and aye.”

There is a similar couplet respecting Carnfield Hall, near to Alfreton. It is related by Mr. E. Kirk, a Lancashire folk-lorist, that the owner of a large farm in Goosnargh, called Landscales, staked his land at a game of “put.” He received his three cards, which were a tray, a deuce, and an ace, and he put – that is, struck the table with his fist, in proof of his resolution to abide by the issue of his cards. His opponent had two trays and a deuce. The farm was consequently lost, and its owner exclaimed: —

“Ace, deuce, and tray,Landscales, go thy way.”

A Derbyshire rhyme refers to the inhabitants of four places as follows: —

“Ripley ruffians,Butterly blocks,Swanwick bulldogs,Alfreton shacks.”

Equally severe is the following on the people of the villages between Norwich and Yarmouth: —

“Halvergate hares, Reedham rats,Southwood swine, and Cantley cats,Acle asses, Moulton mules,Beighton bears, and Freethorpe fools.”

Of Derbyshire folk it is said: —

“Derbyshire born and Derbyshire bred,Strong in the arm, but weak in the head.”

The next are two Kentish rhymes: —

“Sutton for muttonKerby for beef,South Darve for gingerbread,Dartford for a thief.”

This is complimentary: —

“English lord, German count, and French marquies,A yeoman of Kent is worth all three.”

It is said of Herefordshire: —

“They who buy a house in HerefordshirePay three years’ purchase for the air.”

Says a Gloucestershire rhyme: —

“Blest is the eyeBetwixt Severn and Wye.”

In the same shire is the next couplet: —

“Beggarly Birley, strutting Stroud,Hampton poor, and Painswick proud.”

Many more rhymes similar to the foregoing might be given, if space permitted; but we have only room for a few more examples, and they relate to the weather. An old distich says: —

“When clouds are on the hills,They’ll come down by the mills.”

Another rhyme states: —

“When the mist comes from the hill,Then good weather it doth spill.When the mist comes from the sea,Then good weather it will be.”

In Worcestershire there is a saying: —

“When Bredon Hill puts on his hat,Ye men of the vale, beware of that.”

Says a Yorkshire rhyme: —

“When Oliver’s Mount puts on his hat,Scarbro’ town must pay for that.”

In the same broad shire is a similar couplet: —

“When Ingleboro’ wears a hat,Ribblesdale’ll hear o’ that.”

The Poetry of Toast Lists and Menu Cards

The public dinner-season in provincial England commences early in October and ends in the middle of March. During that period, at the slightest provocation, our countrymen are prepared to dine together, not with a desire of over-indulgence in eating, but to enjoy the pleasant company usually gathered round the festive board. It is an admitted fact that the men who are in the habit of attending banquets are generally most abstemious. Speech, story, and song form a pleasing part of the proceedings of literary-society dinners, masonic banquets, and the more homely but not less enjoyable suppers held in connection with the Burns’ Clubs. The toast lists and menu cards are often very interesting; they are frequently artistic in design, and enriched with quotations from the poets, which renders them of more than passing interest. A few quotations from some of the best of those which have come under our notice seem worth reproducing. The authors represented cover a wide field, ranging from Shakespeare to Tennyson. The former is the most quotable poet, and he is most frequently drawn upon. Burns, however, runs him very closely.

In turning over a pile of toast lists, the first to attract our attention is the one prepared for the Hull Shakespearean Festival. On the front page is a portrait of the bard and the familiar line of “rare” Ben Jonson: —

“He was not of an age, but for all time.”

Under the first toast – that of the Queen – are two lines from Henry V.: —

“God and his angels guard your sacred throne,And make you long become it.”

The toast of the evening follows: “The Immortal Memory of Shakespeare” – Dr. Johnson’s well-known verse beneath it: —

“Each change of many-coloured life he drew;Exhausted worlds, and then imagined new;Existence saw him spurn her bounded reign,And panting Time toiled after him in vain.”

The third speaker had for his topic “Shakespeare’s Universality,” with a motto from Romeo and Juliet: —

“Monarch of the universal earth.”

Actors and actresses were next toasted under the heading of “Shakespearean Exponents,” with a quotation from Othello: —

“Speak of me as I am: nothing extenuate,Nor set down aught in malice.”

The next theme was “Shakespeare and Tragedy,” with a line from Richard III.: —

“I live to look upon their tragedy.”

Then followed “Shakespeare and Comedy,” with two lines from the Taming of the Shrew: —

“Frame your mind for mirth and merriment,Which bars a thousand harms.”

Under the sentiment of “Shakespeare and History,” is a line from Henry IV. (Part II.): —

“There is a history in all men’s lives.”

Lastly, “Shakespearean Women” were remembered, and under the toast are three lines as follow from the third part of Henry VI.: —

“’Tis beauty that doth oft make women proud;’Tis virtue that doth make them most admired;’Tis modesty that makes them seem divine.”

The programme of music is headed with a couple of lines from Twelfth Night: —

“If music be the food of love, play on;Give me excess of it.”

At the foot of the card is printed “Good Night,” and a quotation from Macbeth, as follows: —

“At once good night:Stand not upon the order of your going,But go at once.”

The toast list of a local literary society contains some happy quotations from Shakespeare. The speakers are reminded at the commencement of the programme, in the words from Hamlet, that “Brevity is the soul of wit.” The two lines under the toast of “The Prince and Princess of Wales” are from Pericles: —

“As jewels lose their glory if neglected,So princes their renown if not respected.”

A line from Richard III.: —

“Arm, fight, and conquer for England’s sake.”

was the motto to the toast of “The Army, Navy, and Auxiliary Forces.” Under the toast of “The Officers of the Club” are words from Othello: —

“We cannot all be masters.”

Two good lines from the Taming of the Shrew are given with the toast of “Literature and Science”: —