Lapis lazuli thread. Collection of poems

Konstantin Lubchonok

Lapis lazuli thread. Collection of poems

Heart

                  I'm waiting for you, my soul.

                  Consumed by longing,

                  I can only pray for one thing from —

                  Be near and love me.

                  And I will be yours forever,

                  So simple and good-natured,

                  With the meaning of which

                  Every day and every hour is filled,

                  Because only you are able

                  To give life to my heart,

                  Which has not been beating for a long time,

                  But only silent and fading.

                  Will I be able to forgive myself?

                  Will I be able to save my life?

                  How much pain, how many tears…

                  I haven't seen the light for so long

                  That I'm ready to fall into darkness.

                  But you managed to give me

                  Something that I have long lost —

                  My beautiful hope,

                  Which led to the birth

                  Of a love that I have never

                  Dreamed of before in the sweetest dreams.

                  And with it came fear,

                  The fear that everything that exists

                  Is just a beautiful, but a mirage.

                  Spring 2018

Dear

                         Your soul is a dense forest,

                         Beauties of which are innumerable.

                         Shrouded in thick fog

                         And watered by rains,

                         It is filled with warmth and cold,

                         Leading me to salvation,

                         And with that, to my downfall.

                         Your eyes, stupefying my mind,

                         Are able to give comfort.

                         And in the most difficult hour —

                         With your warm hands,

                         With your warm words,

                         Only you are able to support,

                         Only you are able to revive.

                         The colors fade without you,

                         In the distance I'm suffocating, dying —

                         I want to hug you so much

                         And never let go,

                         To surrender both soul and body.

                         After all, I can't give more

                         To someone who is capable of animating.

                         Spring 2018

Bitterness of love

                        Torn from within,

                        A storm is raging in me,

                        And the storm, without subsiding,

                        Does not let me forget

                        All the bitterness that I was

                        Once destined to experience.

                        Tears flow without getting tired…

                        And no one knows their reasons,

                        And no one can understand me,

                        Because for me one joy

                        Is my old girlfriend,

                        Whose name is pillow.

                        The reason for my tears is simple —

                        My dreams, my hopes

                        Played a cruel joke on me.

                        My world was destroyed a long time ago,

                        It was burned to the ground a long time ago,

                        And now it is trampled to the end.

                        One love burned out,

                        And the other blossomed,

                        But this did not make it easier for me,

                        But only made it more painful.

                        Happiness is shattered,

                        As, indeed, am I myself.

                        I do not feel warmth,

                        There is no trembling, desires,

                        But only a terrible cold

                        That kills me from the one

                        To whom I had the imprudence to bring

                        My heart out of my chest.

                        My ailment is not curable —

                        A destroying feeling

                        That has ruined me more than once,

                        To forget, which I wish,

                        And in my life never

                        To remember it again.

                        Spring 2018

My lady

                  You have become the mistress of my heart —

                  My savior, my destroyer.

                  Only in your hands is my freedom,

                  Only in your hands is my soul.

                  Now I am imprisoned in a cage,

                  And I could be in velvet fetters.

                  But, alas, you are not so merciful, lady,

                  And you have given me only iron fetters.

                  Dreams are dreams, and the reality is

                  That I am destined to be in this world

                  Only as your faithful sweet slave,

                  But not as your beloved soul.

                  Spring 2018

Forgive me

                           Forgive me, my love,

                           I have tried more than once to forget

                           Everything that was between us,

                           But I don't have the strength to do it.

                           With you, I have become not myself —

                           I have become softer and more vulnerable

                           The masks that I have worn for so

                           Long have all come off at once.

                           My pride is my mate,

                           It has become not a destiny with you,

                           Because only you alone have managed

                           To see the truth in me.

                           Forgive me for my selfishness,

                           For not being so patient.

                           But I am besotted with you,

                           Your beautiful soul.

                           Spring 2018

In the distance

                      My love for you is strong,

                      But you couldn't accept it.

                      And dying again and again —

                      I pray, for once don't push me away.

                      I have told you more than once

                      That I am ready to ruin myself,

                      That I am ready to give everything

                      For one of your warm looks.

                      I remember your lips touching,

                      I remember your playful hands,

                      Alas, not wanting me.

                      Is this the end for me?

                      The fire of hope will not fade,

                      Faith in faith will not lose,

                      Because I am sure of one thing —

                      A little, but I was loved.

                      Spring 2018

Life path

                      You are not only able to resurrect,

                      But also cool to kill.

                      It is both a curse and a gift,

                      But I do not know what it promises.

                      Your life is a thorny path,

                      The sea is a sea of difficult trials.

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