One Autumn Proposal

But what did she really know about him? Only little snippets of information that he’d told her in passing. Stories about home in Australia, living in Perth and his training as a doctor. Passing remarks about childhood friends. He’d told her he had no wife or girlfriend.

So what else was it? What had made that dark shadow pass in front of his eyes? Why had he hesitated before answering the question? Or had she just imagined it all? Maybe there was nothing wrong, maybe something had caught his eye at the other side of the road, momentarily distracting him and stopping him from answering the question.

In the meantime, she could still feel that underlying buzz between them. Whenever he was near, she had visions of that night in his flat, pressed up against the wall in her sci-fi costume, wishing things could go further than they had.

Every time he touched her at work, even the merest brush of a hand was enough to set off the currents between them. It didn’t matter that her head told her this wasn’t sensible—he came from the other side of the world and would likely return there; her body was telling her something entirely different. Her imagination was telling her a whole host of other things …

He gave her a nudge, passing her the package he’d wedged under his jacket.

She stared down at the still-wrapped parcel in her hands, turning the brown paper package over and over.

‘Are you going to open it?’

She picked at the tape in one corner. It was old, the stickiness long vanished, and it literally fell apart in her hands, revealing some white envelopes underneath. She pulled them out. Only they weren’t white, they had yellowed with age, all with US postal stamps.

Her eyes lifted to meet his. Brad leaned forward, touching the pile of envelopes and spreading them out across the table. ‘There must be at least twenty of them,’ he said quietly. His fingers stopped at something. There, among the envelopes, was something else. A photograph. Brad slid the envelope that was covering it away and Cassidy let out a little gasp.

She leaned forward and picked up the black-and-white print. ‘It’s my gran!’ she gasped. His head met hers as they stared at the photograph of a beautiful young woman with a smile that spread from ear to ear, wearing a beautiful coat with a nipped-in waist. Her head was turned to the side and her eyes were sparkling as she looked at the man standing next to her in a US army uniform.

Cassidy was stunned. There were a million thoughts that crowded into her mind. A million conclusions that she could jump to. But one thing stood out above all the rest. ‘I’ve never seen her look so happy,’ she whispered. ‘Gran never looked like that.’

She turned to face Brad. ‘I don’t mean she was miserable—she was fine.’ She pointed at the photograph. ‘But I can’t ever remember her looking like that.’

She didn’t want to say anything else. She didn’t know what to think. She’d just glimpsed a moment from the past, and it almost seemed sacred. The coat and letters had been hidden a long time ago by a woman who obviously hadn’t wanted to throw them away but hadn’t wanted them to be found. In a way, it almost felt like a betrayal.

She ran her finger over the photograph. ‘I don’t think I can even ask Gran about this. She’s too far gone. I can’t even remember the last time that she recognised me.’

Brad’s arm wrapped around her shoulder. She could feel his breath at her neck. What would he be thinking?

The same kind of thing that she was? That her gran had lost her heart to some US soldier?

She didn’t want to think like that. It seemed almost judgemental. And it seemed wrong that Brad’s first glimpse into her family was revealing something she hadn’t known herself.

And she couldn’t pretend that it didn’t hurt a little. It had been just her and Gran for the last ten years but she’d never told Cassidy anything about this. She’d been a modern woman, liberal-minded and easy to talk to. Why had she kept this to herself?

His voice was quiet and steady as he whispered in her ear. ‘Don’t even think about asking her about it, Cass.’ He lifted the photograph from her hand and sat it back down on the table. ‘Take it as it is. A happy memory from your gran’s life. She’s beautiful in that picture. You can see the happiness in her eyes. Why shouldn’t she have had a time like that?’ His finger ran down the side of her cheek. ‘She looks a lot like you.’

Cassidy turned to face him. His mouth was only inches from hers and she subconsciously licked her lips. This was it. The moment she’d been waiting for.

It had taken him so long to kiss her again after the party. She didn’t want to wait any longer. She didn’t want to imagine any longer. She wanted to feel.

Her hands slid up around his neck as she pulled him closer. His mouth was on hers instantly, just the way she’d imagined. He pushed her backwards on the sofa, his hands on either side of her head as he kissed her, gently at first, before working his way down her neck, pushing her shirt open.

His body was warm, heating hers instantly. She could feel his whole length above her, and her hands moved from around his neck, down his back and towards his hips, pulling him closer to her.

This time there was no one else in the flat. This time they wouldn’t need to stop. This time they could do what they wanted.

She pushed aside the rational side of her brain that was clamouring to be heard. She could worry about all that later. Her body was responding to him with an intensity she’d never experienced before. She’d already had a glimpse of the washboard abs when he’d changed in the doctors’ office. Now she didn’t just want to look—she wanted to touch, to feel, to taste.

He lifted his head, pushing himself back a little. His voice was little above a groan. ‘Cass?’

The question only hung in the air for a fraction of a second. She didn’t want to think about this. Right now she didn’t care that he was from Australia and would probably go back there. Right now all she cared about was that he was here, now, with her.

A slow smile appeared on his face. ‘Wanna stay over?’

He had no idea how sexy he was right now. His clear blue eyes were hooded with desire. She could feel his heart thudding against his chest. All for her.

She pressed herself against him again. ‘I thought you’d never ask.’

He pulled her to her feet and led her towards his bedroom door, undoing the buttons on her shirt as they went. Her legs were on autopilot and she couldn’t wipe the smile from her face.

He pressed her against the wall. ‘I seem to remember being in this position with you before, Cassidy Rae.’ His voice was deep, throaty, turning her on even more.

‘I was playing hard to get,’ she whispered in his ear. ‘Did it work?’

He turned her around and pushed her onto the bed. ‘Oh, yes.’ He crawled towards her, poising himself above her. Her shirt was open now, leaving her breasts exposed in their black satin push-up bra. He bit at the edge with his teeth. ‘Now, this doesn’t look like ordinary underwear.’ His fingers dug around her hips, sliding down the back of her jeans and finding the edge of her matching black g-string. ‘Did you have something in mind when you got dressed this morning, Cass?’ His low, sexy laugh sent shivers of delight down her spine.

It wasn’t her normal underwear. But she could hardly even remember getting dressed this morning. Had she done this subconsciously, hoping she would end up in this position?

‘Let’s just say I’m a girl of many secrets.’ She pulled his T-shirt over his head, revealing his pecs and tanned abdomen. If she hadn’t been so turned on, she might have pulled in her stomach and worried about him seeing her curves. But from the look on his face, he liked what he was seeing. ‘I have lots of gorgeous sets of underwear. If you’re lucky, I’ll let you see the red set,’ she moaned as he started to kiss her neck, ‘or the blue set …’ Her hands were dipping lower on his body, to the front of his jeans where she could feel him throbbing against her. ‘Or, if you’re really lucky, I’ll let you see the green set.’

He let out a groan. ‘I can guarantee I’ll love the under wear—no matter what colour. But what I love most is what’s underneath. He traced his fingers down her throat as she arched her back in response. Then slid his hand underneath her, unfastening her bra strap and leaving her breasts exposed. ‘Now, what can I do with these?’ he murmured.

Cass pushed herself upwards, her breasts towards his mouth. ‘You can start by getting rid of the rest of these clothes,’ she commanded as she undid the buttons on his jeans, before wriggling out of her own. She waited as he discarded his jeans and underwear, before pushing him down on the bed and setting her legs astride him.

‘I like this,’ he murmured. ‘A woman who likes to be in charge.’

‘Oh, I’m always in charge,’ she breathed in his ear as she ran her hands down his chest. ‘And anyway, I’m examining your skin. You’re way too tanned.’ Her hands stopped at his nipples, brushing around them onto the fine hair on his chest. ‘I feel it’s my duty to check you for any areas of concern.’ She lifted her hips and rubbed against him again.

He groaned. ‘Anywhere in particular you’d like to start?’

She smiled and leaned over him again, her hardened nipples brushing against the skin on his chest. She swayed against him. ‘I’ll need to think about that.’

Brad let out a primal roar. He grabbed her and flipped her around on the bed so he was poised above her. ‘Enough teasing. You’re going to be the death of me.’

His fingers reached down and dispensed with her g-string. She could feel the heat rise inside her. She was aching for him. He touched her and she gasped, tilting her hips upwards to him. ‘Oh … this is going to be so good.’

‘You bet it is,’ he whispered in her ear, the stubble on his jaw scraping her shoulder.

‘Mmm … Where else am I going to feel that?’

‘Wherever you like.’

He moved for a second, reaching into the nearby drawer, and she heard the rustle of a condom wrapper being opened. Ten seconds later he was above her again. ‘Are you ready?’ he whispered.

‘Oh, yes …’ She opened her legs further and gasped as he plunged inside her.

He stopped, just for a second. ‘Okay?’

She took a deep breath, while the full sensation surrounded her. Then she pulled his hips even closer, taking him deeper inside. ‘Don’t you dare stop,’ she groaned. ‘I’ve got you just where I want you.’

‘Ditto.’ He smiled again as he moved slowly, building momentum between them as he trailed a line of kisses down the side of her face and throat.

And there it was—the fever that had been building between them for weeks. All the looks and lingering glances. All the brief touches. All the electricity buzzing around them like fireflies. The first kiss, with its strained finish. All building to this crescendo, where nothing and no one could get between them.

Cassidy could feel her skin start to tingle. Nothing else was more important than this. Nothing else had ever felt as good as this. Nothing else had ever felt this right. This was perfect.

She let herself go, throwing her head back and crying out his name, as she felt him stiffen at the same time.

She felt her body turn to jelly, the air whooshing out from her lungs. Brad was still above her, his whole body weight now resting on her, his heart thudding against her chest.

She let out a laugh. Sweat slicked them together as she gave him a playful push. ‘Move, mister, I can hardly breathe.’

He pushed himself up and sagged down beside her.

‘Wow.’

Cassidy was breathing heavily, her eyes staring up at the ceiling and fixing on the still-pink light shade above her. She turned to the sandy-blond head on the pillow beside her, a smile creeping across her face. ‘Yeah, wow,’ she murmured.

CHAPTER FIVE

8 November

THE early-morning Scottish light crept across the room. Even on the greyest days the sun’s rays sneaked through the clouds and scattered this room with light. Brad’s brain was fuzzy. Something was different. Something had changed.

Then he felt a movement beside him, and the memories of the night before crowded into his brain. Cassidy. Wow.

Then something else hit him, charging from the dark recesses of his brain, and he stifled the groan in his throat. Melody. He hadn’t told her about Melody.

He turned around in the bed, resting his hand on his arm, staring at the sleeping figure beside him. Her chestnut curls spilled across the pillow that she had wedged half under her arm as she slept on her side, facing him.

She looked beautiful. Her fair skin was smooth and unlined. Cassidy. His distraction. The woman he’d lusted after for the last month.

But his stomach clenched. He was cringing. Things in his brain just didn’t add up. If Cassidy was only a distraction, why should he tell her about Melody? There should be no need.

But he knew better than that. No matter how many times he tried to use the word ‘distraction’ for Cassidy, she was much more than that.

In the last few weeks she had crept under his skin. Hearing her voice brought a smile to his face. Knowing she was working the same shift made his whole day seem brighter. And spending time with her outside work made the days speed past. He knew her habits—she liked to take her shoes off at the door, she sat on the left-hand side of the sofa, she only watched the news on one TV channel. His mood had lifted just by being around her.

His thoughts were always with his daughter but they didn’t consume every spare second of every day.

She made him happy. Cassidy made him happy. And he was about to jeopardise all that. He knew he should have told her about Melody. He’d meant to but just hadn’t found the appropriate time.

And now, after he’d slept with her, it seemed like a dirty secret. He almost wished he’d put a photo in the doctors’ office in the ward as soon as he’d started there. But the truth was that office was used by lots of doctors and it wasn’t appropriate to put a family picture in there. And he just hadn’t been ready to answer any difficult questions about his daughter.

But now? He sagged back against the pillows. It looked as though he was hiding something. It looked as though he deliberately hadn’t trusted Cassidy enough to tell her about Melody. How awkward was this conversation going to be?

He turned his head sideways to look at her again, to look at that perfect face before he ruined everything. A tiny part of him hoped that she wouldn’t be annoyed at all. Maybe she would shrug her shoulders and tell him that it was fine?

Who was he kidding? How would he feel if the shoe was on the other foot? If Cassidy had a child she hadn’t told him about? The thought was unimaginable. He could feel himself automatically shaking his head at the idea.

Things would be perfect if he could just freeze this moment in time. Keep everything just the way it was right now. Or, even better, just the way they’d been last night. That thought sent a smile across his face. If only …

A frown appeared on Cassidy’s brow then her eyelids flickered open. Those big brown eyes that pulled him in every time. A smile appeared on her face instantly. ‘Morning,’ she whispered.

Relief flooded through him. She hadn’t woken up and panicked. She seemed happy and comfortable around him. She obviously had no regrets about the night before. Not yet, anyway.

‘Morning,’ he whispered back. He couldn’t help it. He was immediately drawn to her. He wanted to touch her, taste her skin again. He dropped a kiss on the tip of her nose.

A glint appeared in her eyes. Memories of last night? ‘Wow,’ she whispered again, her soft breath on his face.

Brad couldn’t hide the smile. Her memories were obviously as good as his. If only every morning could be like this.

Her hand crept around his neck, and as much as he wanted to pull her closer and forget about everything else, he just couldn’t. He had to get this over and done with.

He shifted backwards in the bed. ‘How about I make you some breakfast?’ His legs hit the floor before she had a chance to answer, and he pulled his underwear and jeans on rapidly. ‘What would you like? Toast? Eggs? Bacon?’

Cassidy looked confused. She pushed herself upwards in the bed and adjusted the pillows behind her. ‘I’ll have whatever you’re making,’ she said quietly.

‘Great. Give me five minutes and I’ll give you a shout. Feel free to take a shower and freshen up.’ He leaned forwards and planted another kiss on her forehead before disappearing out of the door.

Cassidy sat for a few minutes, taking deep breaths. What just happened? They’d had a fabulous night, and he’d asked her to stay over. And for a few seconds this morning when she’d woken up, everything had seemed fine. So what had made him jump out of bed like a scalded cat?

She flung back the duvet and swung her legs out of bed, wincing at the cold air in the room. There was a navy-blue dressing gown hanging up behind the bedroom door, and she wrapped it around herself, then headed to the bathroom.

She flicked the switch for the shower, grabbing an elastic band that was sitting on top of the bathroom cabinet and twisting her hair back from her face as she sat at the edge of the bath for a few moments, trying to fathom what was going on.

Was Brad regretting their night together? The thought almost made her belly ache. She couldn’t imagine anything worse. Maybe he was only interested in the thrill of the chase and once that was over …

No. No, it couldn’t be that. She’d got to know him over the last few weeks, and he didn’t seem to be like that at all. Maybe he just felt awkward because it was the first time they’d woken up together?

Yes, that could be it. Her eyes fell to the sink. Brad had obviously been in here first as he’d left her a new toothbrush and toothpaste and a huge white soft towel. She stuck her hand under the shower. It had heated up perfectly, so she stepped into the steaming water.

There was almost a tremor on her skin. Her insides were coiling, to the point of almost feeling pain. She couldn’t bear the thought of Brad wanting to walk away after their night together. And it wasn’t about the humiliation or about being used. Although those things would be bad enough.

It would be the fact he didn’t feel the same connection that she did. The fact that his thoughts didn’t wander to her about a million times a day—the way hers did to him. It would be the fact he didn’t feel the constant zing between them. Those were the things she couldn’t bear.

She could still smell him on her skin and almost regretted having to wash it away, but the blue shower gel with its ocean scent reminded her of him again. She rubbed it into her body even harder, then a few minutes later stepped out of the shower and dried herself rapidly. It only took a few moments to realise she’d nothing to wear, so she padded back through to the bedroom and rummaged in a few of his drawers.

‘Cassidy! Breakfast!’

The smell was drifting through the house. Eggs, bacon and tea. Perfect.

‘Hey.’

She was standing in the doorway dressed in a pair of his grey jogging trousers and an oversized pale blue T-shirt. His clothes had never looked so sexy. Her hair was ruffled, some little strands around her neck still wet from the shower.

He pulled out a chair for her. ‘Have a seat.’ All Brad could think about right now was getting this over and done with. He had to come clean. Easier said than done.

He put the plates on the table and poured the tea while Cassidy watched him carefully. She wasn’t stupid. She knew something was going on.

She took a sip of her tea, chasing her eggs around the plate with her fork. Watching. Waiting.

Brad pressed his lips together. He reached across the table and took her hand. ‘Cass, there’s something I need to tell you.’

He could see the tiny flare of panic in her eyes that she was trying to control. She set her tea back down on the table. Her voice was steady. ‘So, what is it you want to tell me “the morning after the night before”, Brad?’

He winced. There was no getting around this. Cassidy didn’t even know what ‘it’ was—but the implication was there. If this was something important, he should have told her before he’d taken this relationship to the next level.

‘I have a daughter.’ The words were blurted out before he had a chance to think about it any longer.

‘What?’ The shocked expression on her face was very real. This was the last thing she’d expected to hear.

Brad took a deep breath. ‘I have a daughter, Melody. She’s nearly four.’ His heart was beating against his chest, the words clambering to his mouth—he just couldn’t speak quickly enough right now. ‘I haven’t seen in her over two years. Her mother, Alison, disappeared with her. We had a …’ he flung his hands in the air ‘… sort of informal custody arrangement. Alison was a doctor as well, and we looked after Melody between us.’

Cassidy’s face looked set in stone. ‘She was your wife? Your girlfriend? The one you told me you didn’t have?’ Her tone said it all.

Brad spoke firmly. ‘She wasn’t my wife and she wasn’t my girlfriend, well, not after a few months. We had a very short-lived fling that resulted in Melody. We’d broken up by the time Alison discovered she was pregnant, and neither of us were interested in getting back together.’

He leaned back in the chair, wishing he could tell the whole story in the blink of an eye. Everything about this was painful to him. Every time he spoke about things, he thought about the mistakes he had made and what he could have done differently.

Anything that could have affected the eventual outcome.

Cassidy hadn’t moved. Her face was expressionless and her breakfast lay untouched in front of her.

‘I don’t really know what happened, Cass. I went to pick up Melody as arranged one day, and they were gone.’ He flicked his hand in the air. ‘Just like that.

Vanished. I was frantic. I went to Alison’s work and found out she’d resigned and no one knew where she’d gone. Some of her colleagues said she’d met a doctor from the US and been head over heels in love. They thought she might have gone to the US with him.’ He shook his head as a wave of desperation swept over him. It was the same every time he spoke about this.

‘I hired a lawyer and two private investigators and tried to track her down. I’ve been trying to track her down for the last two years—with no success. I haven’t seen or heard from her in two years. Right now, I have no idea how my little girl is, where she is or if she even remembers me.’ His eyes were fixed on the window, staring out into space.

Cassidy felt numb. ‘You have a daughter,’ she said.

He nodded, it appeared, almost unconsciously.

‘You have a daughter you “forgot” to tell me about?’ She couldn’t help it—she raised her hands in the air and made the sign of quotation marks.

She could feel rage and anger bubbling beneath the surface, ready to erupt at any moment. She hadn’t imagined anything the other night. It hadn’t been all in her head. It had been right before her eyes—or it should have been.

Brad looked in pain. He may have been gazing outside, but the look in his eyes was haunted. A father who had lost his child. She couldn’t begin to imagine the pain that would cause. But right now she couldn’t contain her anger.

‘Why didn’t you mention this before?’

He sighed. A huge sigh, as if the weight of the world was on his shoulders. His gaze went to his hands that were clenched in his lap. ‘I know, I know, I should have. But it just never felt like the right time.’

‘How about as soon as you met me?’

His brow wrinkled. ‘Oh, yeah. Right. Pleased to meet you, I’m Brad Donovan. I’ve got a missing daughter, Melody, that I’ve been searching for the last two years. And before you ask—no—I’ve no idea why her mother disappeared with her. No—I didn’t do anything wrong or mistreat my child. Yes—I’ve spent an absolute fortune trying to find her and I’ve been on two wild-goose chases to the US.’ He waved his hand in frustration. ‘Is that how you wanted me to tell you?’