Redeeming Her Brooding Surgeon

Leaning her elbows on the rail, Kristina stared out over the moonlit Mediterranean and breathed deeply, saying nothing.

A female who didn’t talk the lid off a pot? Nothing like Libby, then. His sister never knew when to stop gabbing at him about why he should stop wandering the world and return home to be near the family. Chase sighed. He came out here for solitude while he went through his day and gave himself a pat on the back if he’d saved anyone. But right now he craved to hear Kristina’s voice, couldn’t bear this silence between them. He went with something innocuous. ‘So you and Libby got on okay?’

‘She makes the best blueberry muffins ever.’ Kristina’s head bobbed, and hair fell across her cheek. It was rare for her to let it free from the severe ponytail that was her signature style. Army style?

Many times over the past weeks he’d itched to flick the thick rope that fell down her back, pull away the band holding it in place to run his fingers through the golden waves. Shoving his fists deep into his pockets, he trawled his mind for something safe to say. ‘What did you think of Merrywood?’

Kristina turned so the small of her back rested against the rail and a soft chuckle winded him with its warmth. ‘I loved it. Everyone was so friendly and welcoming, I wanted to stay on.’ Her fingers intertwined across her belly, tightening his gut further.

So much for playing safe. ‘It can become claustrophobic, though. Especially when you’re a teenager and don’t want your parents finding out you’ve been smoking down by the river with your pals.’

There was a wistfulness in her eyes as she said, ‘Surely that’s part of belonging somewhere?’

Yep, and it tied a person to everyone so that when things went wrong they all were affected. Chase watched her hands making slow circular movements over her abdomen. Was she aware she did that whenever she went all thoughtful?

This time the urge to make her talk, to break down her barriers didn’t bat him around the ears. Instead he relaxed, leaned against the rail, and went with being beside her, trying to accept this was as intimate as they should get. He had nothing to offer her other than a quick romp in the sack and they weren’t doing that. He didn’t trust this thing gripping him to let him go afterwards.

But Kristina was unlike any other woman who’d pressed his buttons. She pressed them hard. Could that be the reason for his restlessness? He wasn’t in the market for a partner. Not when he had to be finding more people to save, trying to redeem himself for Nick. How many more lives would it take to be free of the guilt?

Chase pushed the past aside, took a deep breath. The air was soft and warm, not cooling as the sun dropped below the horizon. Summer warmed his skin and his soul. There’d been a year when he’d followed summer around the world, working in countries where snow and ice were alien, because he’d known how snow could destroy a person and he would never put himself in that position again.

But it hadn’t been enough so he’d enrolled in med school to learn in earnest how to save people. London winters were cold but his heart had coped, had borne the pain that came with memories of a colder, icier, crueller place he’d never returned to. Not once. Never would. He couldn’t. It wasn’t in him to go there and bury the ghosts. They would never let him get away a second time. Except these past weeks, spending time with Reid, tentatively touching on what had happened, he’d begun looking at things in a different light. Would it be possible to put it all behind him one day?

Kristina’s soft voice snagged him. ‘I was called Kris in the army. When I wasn’t sir or captain.’ A tightness had crept into her tone.

‘You let them?’

‘Regardless of what the recruitment officers say, the military is still a masculine world. To fit in I was Kris. But I’ve objected to being called it since I was ten.’

‘Am I allowed to ask why?’

‘No big deal,’ she answered in a harsh tone, suggesting it was. ‘When my parents split up, my mother took me to LA with her where she met a man she was very keen on. When he proposed he told her in no uncertain terms that Kris was not part of the deal. The way he called me Kris was derogatory. I loathed it.’

Chase leaned closer, breathed deeply of her scent. He’d never call her Kris again. Not even as a tease. ‘Did your mother tell him where to go?’

‘No. I returned to England soon after.’

‘To live with your father?’

‘Dad was working twenty-four, seven trying to recoup the fortune he’d lost. I was sent to boarding school.’

‘Geez.’ She hadn’t known the loving family environment he’d grown up with, had taken for granted, and now struggled not to put in danger by being near them. Lightly dropping his arm over her shoulders, Chase tucked her close. ‘That’s lousy.’ A damned sight worse. His parents had stood by him through the days and years following the avalanche and still did. There’d been times they’d been so near he’d not been able to breathe, but he wouldn’t have swapped that for what Kristina had missed out on. Yes, he was incredibly lucky to have such a loving, caring family.

‘Yeah, it was.’

He daren’t delve deeper, afraid she might sprint away, regret telling him in the first place. He didn’t want her leaving his side, not until the tension in her stance softened and a smile returned to her eyes.

The silence returned, comfortable in an intimate way. Another first for him. The more he learned about this strong woman the more he wanted to know. Things like why she’d joined the army in the first place. Had she needed to belong to something, somewhere, to replace the lack of having a loving family around her? ‘Were you ever deployed overseas?’ He hadn’t been going to ask any more questions so his words surprised him.

‘I served in Brunei, where there are jungle warfare courses going on all the time.’

‘I can’t imagine being a soldier, charging around learning to kill people.’ He shuddered. ‘Not when my whole focus is on saving them.’ Hell, she had him talking, wanting to tell her what made him tick. This was his time out, yet Kristina had sauntered into his space and he started gabbing on like he’d been on a desert island for months.

‘It’s not quite like that. I was a medic first and foremost. But sometimes I found myself questioning why I was there.’

‘I’d be hopeless. Can’t take orders from anyone.’ Not since the day his skiing coach had dropped the ball when he’d been needed most. Coach Wheeler had phoned parents, tried to keep him from returning into the wrecked chalet, but he hadn’t rushed in to help pull Nick free.

She turned under his arm and smiled up at him. ‘Now, there’s a surprise.’

He laughed, a belly-deep reaction that spread throughout his psyche. ‘I know. Pig-headed is another term for the way I get things done.’ Studying the sea, he asked, ‘Do you miss the military life?’

‘Not at all.’ Her smile switched off. ‘It wasn’t what I wanted after all.’ A little shiver and, ‘See you in the morning.’ Then she was gone, striding across the deck in that sharp, exact way of hers, heading for the hub of what went on day after day. Her leg left pulled a fraction higher on the upward movement. He’d noticed weeks ago how some days were worse than others, and how she sometimes winced or rubbed her lower back when she thought no one was looking. She wasn’t one to complain or talk about her aches and pains.

She was back, a light smile on her face that heartened him. ‘By the way, you’d make a lousy commanding officer.’ Straightening, she mimicked him. ‘Kristina, your attention—now.’ This time she did leave him, flipping her hand over her shoulder on the way.

She left him chuckling yet bereft of company when he’d never before wanted anyone sharing this precious hour away from the cries and arguments and chatter that filled the ship twenty-four seven. Sometimes his head would be splitting apart with everyone’s pain, his own grief and guilt working its way into the centre of it all, reminding him why he was there, and stressing that he’d never be able to escape to a normal life back in England close to his family. He had to continue moving, keep finding more people to save. Working for MFA did that by bringing him and those people together. Day after day, week after week. There was no end to it. And not likely to be for the rest of his life. Which suited him perfectly.

Except Kristina didn’t recognise his barriers, or ignored them, relentlessly chipping away, making him feel a little happier with life. Hell, he’d put his arm around her to give her warmth and support. Something more than her beauty, her confidence, her quietness, her heat-provoking body got to him—come on, it was a combination of all those.

Yeah, but there was an indefinable something else he couldn’t put his finger on. When she’d told him about her name he’d known instantly she didn’t talk about that to anyone, yet she’d told him. Not to shut him up, or at least not to let him think it was on a whim, but because she’d wanted him to understand there were heartfelt reasons behind her need to be called Kristina. She’d even told him those. Information he didn’t want because it made him care. From now on he was done talking to her about anything deep. He had to be or he was doomed.

Chase tried to connect the dots between the doctor and her role as a soldier. Though the circumstances were poles apart, the requirements for patience and tolerance would be the same, yet he couldn’t quite imagine Kristina issuing orders. Around here other medics did her bidding without question, her manner friendly and relaxed while underscored with determination, but a military officer would have to be sharp and firm. Bet she filled out the uniform perfectly.

Hell, he was in need of some diversion. Last time he’d got like this a nurse had spent a night with him on their three-day leave from the ship. Eight months ago, at the end of last summer. That was the last time he’d had sex? So it wasn’t sleep he needed, was it?

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