A Sweet Magnolias Novel

“But one has. I can hear it in your voice.”

“You’re imagining things,” she said.

Walter let it drop. If there was something going on in her life, God bless her, he’d find out about it soon enough. Tommy, for example, was a little blabbermouth when it came to anything going on at home.

“Tell me how things went with Dr. McDaniels,” he said instead.

As she filled him in, Walter heard a familiar note of defeat in her voice.

“You didn’t expect to run out of the first session and go skipping down the block, did you?”

“Not really, but it’s clearly going to be hard work. She managed to drag out a lot of bad memories and insisted on dissecting them. I think it’s going to get worse before it gets better.”

“You’re not scared of hard work, are you?”

“No,” she said with a hint of indignation, but then her bravado failed her. “I’m scared of failing.”

“You are not going to fail,” he said adamantly. “There’s too much at stake—your entire future, in case you need reminding. Besides, you have this huge support system in place. We’ll all be right beside you every step of the way.”

His words were greeted by silence and then she asked, “Walter, back when I was on your case every ten seconds for the way you were treating Sarah, did you ever think we’d wind up being friends?”

“To be honest, I never thought much about being friends with any woman,” he said.

She laughed. “Exactly as I thought, which is why Rory Sue is perfect for you. You can thank me later. Good night.”

“Good night.”

“Oh, Walter, wait,” she said, a teasing note in her voice. “Pleasant dreams!”

He bit off the retort that came to mind. With an image of Rory Sue’s scantily clad body firmly implanted in his head, he doubted there was much sleep in his immediate future, anyway.

5

Carter had no idea why Raylene got to him the way she did. She was obviously going through a tough time and it was just as plain her problems were more than he had any idea how to handle. He was barely coping with his own life these days. Trying to keep two strong-willed teenagers on the straight and narrow had turned out to be a challenge beyond his wildest expectations.

Still, despite all of his own worries, he couldn’t seem to shake that nostalgic, tearful expression on Raylene’s face when she’d mentioned gardening. That hint of vulnerability from a woman who was otherwise strong enough to accept her own limitations—self-imposed though they might be—nagged at him for several days.

On Saturday morning, done with fretting and ready to take action, he dragged the girls out of bed at what they considered the unholy hour of ten, and told them to be dressed and in the car in thirty minutes.

“Why?” Carrie asked with a moan. “It’s Saturday.”

“And you don’t want to waste a minute of it,” he said cheerfully.

Unimpressed by his good mood, she scowled back at him. “What’s the big hurry?”

“We have places to go, things to do, people to see,” he declared, using something their mother had frequently cited when she wanted them to get moving. She’d also said that getting everyone into the car was a little like herding cats, something he was just beginning to understand as his sisters grew increasingly stubborn and independent.

Carrie eyed him suspiciously. “What places? What things? What people?”

“You’ll see,” he told her. “Now, hustle.”

Mandy was marginally more upbeat and cooperative. Always eager for something new, she was downstairs shoveling Cheerios into her mouth in ten minutes.

“Can we drive over to McDonald’s for lunch?” she asked, even as she consumed enough cereal for five normal kids.

“We’ll see,” he told her.

“I don’t want fast food,” Carrie said, overhearing the end of the conversation as she wandered into the kitchen, still in her pj’s. “It’s too fattening.”

This was a recent refrain, he’d noticed. It had started when she turned fifteen and gotten worse as she approached her sixteenth birthday. He found it worrisome, since she weighed next to nothing as it was. “You don’t need to worry about that,” he told her emphatically. “Now, eat something, and let’s hit the road.”

Carrie rolled her eyes. “Unlike some people, I don’t have to eat my weight in cereal first thing in the morning.”

Carter frowned at her. “And unlike some people, you don’t have nearly as much energy. Eat! Do I need to remind you—”

“That breakfast is the most important meal of the day,” she said sourly. “Okay, fine.”

He stood there until she’d finished at least a token serving of cereal, then rinsed the dishes and put them into the dishwasher.

As soon as the girls were buckled into the car, he pulled out of the driveway and turned toward the nursery he’d spotted outside of town.

“Where are we going?” Carrie asked again. “There’s nothing out here. Why can’t we go to Columbia? At least there, we lived in civilization. There were actually movies in town, and stores. You promised when we moved here we could go back to visit, but you hardly ever take us.”

Carter had heard it all before. “I took you two weeks ago,” he reminded her. “We went to the mall, where you spent an hour calling your friends from your cell phone, instead of doing the shopping you’d told me was so vital to your very existence. Today we’re doing something different.”

“I know,” Mandy said excitedly. “We’re going to get plants for the garden, aren’t we? There’s a nursery out here.”

“You got it, kid,” he confirmed, only to see Carrie roll her eyes in disgust.

“I want tomatoes and squash and corn and maybe even watermelon, okay?” Mandy said. “I think there’s enough room in the backyard. And it’s really sunny back there, so everything should grow great.”

“We’ll ask at the nursery,” Carter said. “How about you, Carrie? What do you want in the garden this year?”

She was silent until he sent a warning look in her direction.

“Some lettuce and yellow peppers, I guess,” she said without much enthusiasm. “At least I can make a salad.”

“Good idea. I think we’ll get some flowers, too,” Carter said, his tone deliberately nonchalant. “They’d look nice out front, don’t you think?”

Next to him, Carrie made a face. “Who’s going to plant them and take care of them? Not me.”

“I will,” Mandy offered. “Flowers will look pretty by the front door.” She frowned. “But we’ve never grown them before. Mom always took care of the flowers. What if they die?”

An idea had been blossoming in Carter’s mind for a few days now. “I know someone who might be able to give us some advice,” he said.

“Who?” Carrie asked, instantly suspicious.

“A woman I met the other day.”

His sister gave him a knowing look. “So what? You’re using us and the whole flower thing to get a date or something?”

He shook his head at once. “It’s not like that,” he insisted, then fell silent, because the truth was, it might be exactly like that. If this worked out the way he hoped, he might be spending a whole lot more time with Raylene.

When an unfamiliar truck turned into the driveway at Sarah’s, Raylene checked to make sure the kids were still watching a video in the den with Laurie. They’d both fallen asleep on the sofa, and Laurie was looking through a teen magazine of some kind. Raylene left them and went to the door.

When Carter Rollins emerged from the truck, wearing a pair of faded jeans and a T-shirt rather than his deputy uniform, she felt a little zing of anticipation. The sensation stunned her. Because of her marriage, she’d assumed there’d never be another man in her life she’d trust, much less be happy to see. That it happened to be this particular man was even more of a surprise.

Of course, she reminded herself, sexual attraction didn’t necessarily go hand in hand with trust. Carter might appeal to her on some purely sensual level, but that didn’t mean she intended to let him into her life. In a way, though, it was nice to know she could still appreciate a fine specimen of manhood when one happened to cross her path.

She opened the door, but remained safely inside. “You must be off duty,” she said as he approached. “What brings you by?”

“I came by to ask a favor,” he said, regarding her with a sheepish expression. “And I’ll do something for you in return, if you agree.”

She regarded him warily. When strong men got that helpless look, they were usually up to something. When they started talking about mysterious favors, alarm bells went off.

“Oh?” she said. “What exactly is this favor?”

“You mentioned something the other day about gardening, and I was hoping you could give me some tips.”

She frowned. “I’m not an expert. You could talk to Doug at the nursery just west of town and get better advice. His family’s owned it forever. I think they’re all master gardeners.”

He shook his head sorrowfully. “You must not know much about men. We hate admitting to other men that there are things we don’t know.”

She regarded him doubtfully. “But it’s okay to admit it to me?”

“Sure. You’ll just think I’m charmingly inept. Don’t all women love feeling superior to the men in their lives?”

“To be honest, I’ve never had that experience,” she said. “That certainly wasn’t the way the balance of power worked in my marriage.”

He gave her a questioning look, but didn’t pry. She gave him points for that.

“Will you at least think about giving me some advice?” he asked.

“And what do I get in return?”

“I bought a lot more plants than we’ll ever find room for in my yard. I thought you might want some for here.”

A tiny spark of forgotten excitement stirred to life inside her, and then reality hit. “I can’t accept them,” she said, unable to hide her disappointment.

“Why?”

She scrambled for an excuse, rather than admitting that it would be impossible for her to plant the garden, no matter how badly she might want to. “This isn’t my house. I’m not sure Sarah would appreciate it if I suddenly started landscaping around here.” The excuse sounded hollow to her ears, especially since she knew that as soon as Sarah and Travis set their wedding date, this house was likely to become hers. Hopefully Carter knew nothing of that plan.

His gaze met hers and he waited, clearly anticipating more.

Raylene sighed. “I thought you understood. I can’t leave the house, and I can’t expect Sarah to plant a garden to indulge some whim of mine.”

“But I could do it,” he said. “You could tell me what to do and I’ll provide the labor. You’d probably enjoy bossing me around. My sisters certainly do.”

She considered the possibility. Even if she let him do all the planting, who would care for the garden? In this heat, it would need frequent watering, to say nothing of weeding.

“It’s a lovely offer, but I don’t think so,” she said with real regret.

He studied her intently, then muttered what sounded like a curse under his breath. “It’s about the upkeep, too, isn’t it? Don’t worry about that. I’ll come by. So will my sisters. Let us do this for you.”

Pleased by his determination and too delighted with the idea to keep coming up with excuses, valid or otherwise, Raylene slowly nodded. “Are you sure you want to do this?”

“I wouldn’t have suggested it if I weren’t. Do we have a deal?”

She couldn’t help the rush of excitement that stirred when she imagined having a garden again. If she closed her eyes, she could even imagine a time when she’d be able to sit outside and enjoy it.

“I would love it,” she admitted eventually, “if you’re sure you don’t mind doing all the work.”

“I don’t mind,” he confirmed. “You can pay me back with advice and lemonade. Shall we give it a try? I have the plants in the truck.”

She regarded him with amusement. “You were awfully confident you could talk me into this, weren’t you?”

He grinned. “Pretty much. Something told me you’d be a pushover if I dangled the promise of a few flowers in front of you.”

“Don’t get the idea I’m a pushover, Deputy Rollins,” she said with mock severity. “You’d be wrong.”

“Every women has a few weaknesses,” he commented with a wink. “I just happened to figure out one of yours.”

He walked toward the truck and left her wondering why he’d even given the matter so much thought. Most men, knowing her circumstances and the unlikelihood of anything approaching a normal relationship, wouldn’t have bothered. Rather than worrying about his motives, though, she told herself to be grateful for this impulsive, sweet gesture of his.

While Carter unloaded the plants and carried them around back, she woke the kids and brought them into the kitchen. “You want to help Deputy Rollins with the garden?” she asked, knowing they’d be safe with him and would enjoy the freedom of being outside. It would also give Laurie time to run to the store to look for the dress she wanted for her date tonight.

Tommy immediately raced for the kitchen door, but Libby hung back. Rebuffed once too often by her own father, whose entire focus seemed to be on her big brother, she’d only recently begun to feel more comfortable around men. Thankfully, Walter himself was responsible for the change. He’d finally realized what a treasure she was and started giving her a fair share of his attention. That, plus undisguised adoration from Travis, had been a huge boost to Libby’s confidence, but she still hung back around other men until she was sure of her welcome.

Raylene pulled a chair over to the doorway and lifted Libby into her lap. “You and I get to supervise,” she told her, loudly enough to be overheard by Carter. He cast a grin in her direction.

“Oh, great! Now I have two women bossing me around,” he grumbled with mock dismay. “Tommy, you’re going to have to help me stand up to them.”

“Okay,” Tommy agreed at once, eager to please. “What do we do?”

Carter shrugged. “Beats me.” He turned to Raylene. “Any ideas?”

For the next two hours, he and Tommy dug where she told them to and trimmed the yard with tall sunflowers and vibrant hollyhocks, patches of bright impatiens in partially shaded areas and even two fragrant rosebushes for either side of the kitchen doorway. The result was a far cry from the carefully tended garden at her home in Charleston, but it was bright and cheery and brought a smile to her face. Looking at the results, she had to blink back tears.

Standing in front of her, Carter seemed shaken by her display of emotion. “This was supposed to be a good thing.”

“It’s a wonderful thing,” she said, impulsively reaching out to give his hand a squeeze. “Thank you. It was wonderful of you to think of doing this. Even if I can’t take a single step outside, I’ll be able to smell the roses from right here.”

“No big deal,” he insisted, looking uncomfortable with her gratitude.

“Now, what can I do in return? Of course, I want to pay you for the plants.”

“Absolutely not,” he said indignantly. “I told you I bought too many.”

“I can believe you bought too many flats of annuals, but extra rosebushes? I doubt that.”

“Really, no. I can’t take your money. It was my pleasure.”

“It was more like a backbreaking couple of hours.”

“I enjoyed every minute,” he said, meeting her gaze with a steady look. “Really.”

Raylene shuddered under the intensity of that gaze. “Okay, then, what advice do you need for your garden?”

“Actually, you’ve already helped out. I’ll just try to re-create what we’ve done here.” He frowned. “Of course, we don’t have much shade.”

“Then you’re really going to have to keep an eye on the impatiens. They need a lot of water if they’re in bright sunlight. Otherwise they’ll wilt. And the sunflowers and hollyhocks will do best either against a fence or with stakes. Once they’re in full bloom, they’ll tend to fall over without some kind of support.”

“Got it,” he said. He gave her an appealing look. “Maybe one of these days, when you know me better and feel safe with me, you’ll come over and take a look and see if there’s any other advice I need to follow.”

She regarded him with frustration. “It doesn’t work that way, Carter. I’m plenty comfortable with Sarah and Annie, but I can’t leave here with them, either. Don’t take it personally.”

He backed down at once. “You’re right,” he said, looking flustered. “I’m sorry. I don’t totally understand how something like this works. Worse, I’m the kind of guy who automatically wants to make things better. I shouldn’t have pushed.”

“It’s okay,” she said, not wanting to ruin his lovely gesture. “But I do think you should go now. I need to fix the kids a snack and then get started on supper before Sarah and Travis get home. They were doing some kind of remote for the radio station today.”

“And they’re not back yet? Where’s the sitter?” His worried expression was far more telling than the simple question.

Under other circumstances, she would have found his attitude insulting, but she understood why he was concerned. It just grated that it had to be that way. “She came back a while ago. Want me to call her in here so you can see for yourself that the kids are in good hands?”

He winced at her sarcasm. “Sorry.”

“Don’t be,” she said with a resigned sigh. “I understand why you felt the need to ask. I really do.”

“Okay, then, I’ll see you soon. Maybe next time I drop by, I’ll bring the girls over. Would that be okay? I know Mandy would love to see the garden. She’s not going to believe I actually pulled off an actual flower garden. Up until this year I’ve stuck to vegetables.”

Raylene regarded him with a penetrating look. “Carter, what’s going on here? Are you still trying to make up for accusing me of being negligent with the kids? Or am I your pet charity case?”

He looked annoyed by the question. He took a step closer, but something in her expression must have warned him away, because he immediately backed off. Oddly, she felt suddenly bereft, as if she’d missed an important opportunity to feel alive again.

Holding her gaze, he said quietly, “If you don’t see what’s going on here, then I’ll have to figure out some way to make it plain.” For the second time he looked deep into her eyes, his gaze steady. “I like you. I enjoy your company. And one of these days, I have a hunch I’m going to kiss you, Raylene.” He grinned. “By then, you’re going to be ready for it.”

She trembled at the warning and the promise. She just doubted that such a day would ever come. Because no matter how attracted they might be to each other, a relationship simply wasn’t in the cards.

“I have a garden in my backyard,” Sarah announced with wonder that evening. She turned to stare at Raylene. “How’d that happen?”

“Carter Rollins,” Raylene said, her voice tight.

Sarah frowned. “Okay, let me see if I can figure this out. Carter Rollins made what seems to me to be an incredibly sweet gesture, and somehow that’s annoyed you.”

“It’s not the gesture that annoyed me,” Raylene insisted. “It’s what he wants in return.”

“Which is?”

“Me,” Raylene said, still not able to get over her shock that a man as sexy and appealing as Carter would want someone with her emotional baggage. “He obviously has some knight-in-shining-armor complex or something.”

“He’s a cop. Don’t they all want to save the world?”

“Well, I don’t want to be his project.”

“But you do want him,” Sarah guessed. “I can see it in your eyes. The guy turns you on.”

Sarah was the second person to suggest such a thing. Even Walter had figured it out, and he hadn’t even had to see her face to do it. Obviously there was no point in faking a denial. “Well, if you weren’t madly in love with Travis, Carter would probably turn you on, too. He’d turn on any woman with a functioning libido.”

“But your libido has been in hibernation,” Sarah said, fighting a grin. “Is that what you find so annoying? You’re suddenly faced with the fact that you’re still alive?”

Raylene scowled at her, but Sarah merely waited her out. “Okay, yes,” she said finally. “I don’t want to feel anything for him or anyone else because there’s not a damn thing I can do about it. No man is ever going to want to be tied to a woman who can’t leave the house.”

“If I recall, most bedrooms are inside houses,” Sarah teased.

“You know what I mean,” Raylene said. “My situation isn’t normal. It may never be normal.”

“Didn’t you tell me after your second appointment with Dr. McDaniels yesterday that she’s optimistic?”

“Of course she’s optimistic. Do you think she’s going to come in here, throw up her hands and tell me I’m beyond hope? Shrinks don’t like to admit defeat.”

“Or maybe she really believes you’re going to get better,” Sarah countered. Her gaze narrowed. “Or did I miss something? Did something happen on Friday to leave you sounding so discouraged? Now that I think about it, you’ve been in this weird mood ever since that session.”

“I’m just facing reality,” Raylene said.

“Meaning?”

“The medication didn’t do a thing to help. I felt so good, too. I was calm and relaxed. Dr. McDaniels had this really soothing tone that helped me. I was so ready to walk out of the house. I just knew I could do it.” She sighed. “And then, the second I tried to step outside, I nearly came unglued. It was bizarre. I had absolutely no control over it. Talk about a reality check.”

“Gee, and you’d been on the medication and in treatment for how long? Two whole days? I’m shocked,” Sarah said with exaggerated disbelief.

“It’s not funny,” Raylene said. “There should have been some sign of change.”

“Was Dr. McDaniels expecting a miraculous change?” Sarah asked.

“No.”

“What exactly did she say?”

“Not to be discouraged, that it could take a while for the medication to kick in, that I might need a stronger dose or a different medication, blah-blah-blah.”

“Oh, sweetie, I know it must have been frustrating, but she’s right. You’ve been suffering with this disorder, phobia or whatever it is for a couple of years now. It’s not going to vanish overnight.”

“It might never go away,” Raylene said. “I need to accept that.”

“Don’t you dare give in to such a defeatist attitude!” Sarah said heatedly. “I will not allow you to give up, especially after just two sessions with Dr. McDaniels. Do I have to call the rest of the Sweet Magnolias and stage an intervention? Because I will, if that’s what you need. You are better than this, Raylene Hammond. You are not a quitter. And, frankly, if a man as sexy as you seem to think Carter Rollins is suddenly wants to hang around, I’d think that would be motivation enough to keep you fighting to get better.”

“I never said I was going to quit,” Raylene said. “You don’t need to resort to an intervention. I just said I need to accept reality.”

“Accepting is barely one step away from giving up,” Sarah said, obviously still agitated. “Not an option, is that clear?”

Raylene regarded her with amusement. “If Walter could only see you now. You’re definitely not the meek little woman who let him and his parents get away with bullying her.”

Sarah blinked at the comment. “You know, you’re right. I have changed. And while we’re on the subject of Walter, what’s this I hear about you trying to fix him up with Rory Sue? The word is out the two of them were at Rosalina’s the other night.”

Relieved to have the focus off her mental state and off Carter, Raylene merely grinned. “I thought it might be fun.”

“Are you crazy? Rory Sue and Walter?” She shook her head. “If he ever took her home to Alabama, both his parents would wind up in the cardiac-care unit of the local hospital.”

“Like I said, fun,” Raylene repeated. “You can’t possibly expect me to believe you actually care about what those two awful people think.”

“No, but I don’t necessarily want them dead.”

“Well, their state of mind and health are no longer your concern, and Walter’s life needs shaking up. It’s time he stops pining for what he lost when the two of you got divorced.”