Test-&-mend

It was at dawn, when the phantasmagoria finally finished. The guests started leaving one by one, expressing gratitude to have been invited and granted small boxes of packed food. They praised Leila on her lavish hospitality. It was a tradition to give takeaways after parties or funerals. A little bit of everything, left on the tables untouched, should be equally distributed.

After all, there was wisdom in it: one could not eat up everything, before the products went off. Back then, it was an unimaginable luxury to throw away food. Not even a slice of stale bread, not a single edible crumb could be found in the dumps. Although Abdul's family was leading a luxurious life, which was measured by the amount of food in the fridge, even they took due care not to waste anything. If a family could afford red meat and greenies, it was equal to being wealthy. If, besides the mentioned, a family could pay visits to doctors on a regular basis, they were looked upon as almost millionaires. Whereas the middle class’ usual cuisine consisted of potatoes, bread and meat byproducts. When it came to the poor, they might get along with grains and…, well, it hurts to think about the limited diversity of their menu. To throw a bash was available only to people in uniforms with shoulder straps.

Therefore, no one would miss an opportunity to take part in such social events. It was a good chance to be fed and feed your non-invited members of the family. That night, everyone, especially Abdul's neighbors, left the house satisfied and joyous. On the coming day they were not going to bother with the most mundane question, they had to face on day-to-day basis: «What shall I feed my family on?».

Chapter 4:

A glimpse of future

To those, who found themselves in a moral predicament, the city “N” offered mollas – a mixture of fortune-tellers and priests, who could help you choose, whether to accept the situation or to be afraid of its consequences. These people were in a much more respectable position than casual frauds; as they predicted things using Koran – not coffee grounds or cards.

In search of peace of mind, Leila turned to a local molla. She invited one to their house to look at what destiny held in store for her children: especially for Ali – as he was to leave the country the next day for the three upcoming years. A woman in a hijab appeared at Abdul’s estate. She was wrapped in a black gown from head to feet, leaving just her eyes unveiled. Before crossing the gate border, she mumbled something turning her head right and left and then, carefully, as if she was checking the solidness of the ground, entered the yard. Leila welcomed her into the living room with a tea-set, including traditional baklavas and Turkish delights, laid ready for her.

With exploring eyes, the molla was looking from side to side then she opened her face revealing her bulky features – a flashy nose and a square chin. Despite the absence of wrinkles, her face seemed heavy and impossible to guess at her age. She took the book and beads out of her black bag and shuffled to the table. With a nod she invited Ali to the procedure. Koran was placed on the table. She muttered something under her breath in Arabic, then started blowing on the book. Ali was asked to open it with closed eyes and pick up a random page, which was supposed to tell his future – as it was taken as the Godly sign.

“You, my son, will be given exactly the thing your heart wants! It is said here,” – she proceeded interpreting the verse from Koran. Ali’s face lit up with joy and was whole-heartedly willing to believe the words of the woman, whose reputation he initially doubted.

Standing at the foot of the table, Hannah was observing all this from the corner of her eye. She could barely restrain herself from sneering at this absurdity. “A sign from God!” – she repeated to herself with a mock, – “What is the use of all this anyway?”. Nothing in the world could make her believe in the existence of that Creature in the sky. She lost her faith in praying to the Creature “All Mighty”. It is because she kept asking, where Its might was, when she pleaded It to avert Ibrahim, as well as when she was beaten. People referred to “IT”, using the pronoun “Him” – as to a “Man”. For Hannah, this partly explained the cruelty of “the Creature” – if “IT” indeed existed.

Leila insisted on looking at Hannah’s future, too. She was keen to leant, how soon the wedding would take place and how many children Hannah would bear. Obviously, nothing else was expected from the girl’s life. The expression on the molla S face changed rapidly, when she saw the Koran page that fell out for Hannah. Her eyes widened in surprise and she sighed, as if something terrible was written there. This happened to amuse Hannah: the object of consideration burst out laughing in the face of the doom.

“Hush, hush, girl!” – said the molla in an irritated manner and after a while added: “You will be married to a man – not from this Land. He is the man from the land of the evil spirits and cold.” By “evil spirits” she meant Christians. Any other religion apart from Islam was thought to be wrong and people who were not Muslims were referred to as “filthy”. She proceeded: “ Two children of the same gender… You, my girl, should pray to God so that Shaitan did not have a chance to lead you astray. You should devote your life to religion, otherwise your life will be a contradiction to the norm!”. A mixture of surprise and alert was ringing in her voice.

These words were taken at face value by Leila. She got pale, becoming deathly white in countenance at such predictions: “What exactly does “the contradiction to the norm” mean, anyway?” Would her daughter become a social outcast? Even a thought of it made Leila feel nauseated.

For Hannah’s disbelieving ears, the words of the prophet were a feast: she rejoiced at the idea of not getting married to Ibrahim.

Leila, sheepishly looking at the molla, asked if there was anything she could do to prevent the bad things of such future; if they could somehow influence the events and make them in accordance with their plan. The molla, with a solemn expression on her face, did not give the answer immediately. She stared at the table, analyzing and calculating in her head, what could be sold to this desperate woman and what price it would be reasonable to announce.

– Well, there are plenty of things which can be of a real help in your situation, – the molla went on counting suras (verses from Koran), arranging them in a decreasing in price order. By the astonished look in Leila’s eyes, the molla could guess that the pricetags were really unaffordable. With a desire to strike a lucrative deal she offered Leila to choose the one, which was commonly bought and which proved effective in most cases. They finally agreed on a moderately priced one.

One may wonder at how a verse from Koran could be bought. Mollas created a profitable business through their Religion. They took verses from The Sacred Book and copied them on a piece of paper in Arabic. Then they folded the handwriting into a small envelop like rag, which a customer should carry on himself for the rest of his life. People were ready to fork out on such things. Better than that they were looked upon as shields against all horrors of life. The harshness of the reality was too unbearable for the sufferers; and turned them literally into “drowning men catching at the straw of Koran”.

Chapter 5:

The parting

One thing that marred Leila’s mood at that time was the unpredictability of life. The sense of instability in any sphere of her existence frightened her more than death. At least in the latter there was permanence. Good or bad, it did not really matter so much, but the things had to adhere to a certain plan, which was formed partially by the society and partially by the fate.

The truth was that she knew her son better than Abdul did. Since times immemorial, Ali preferred to learn about his children’s achievements through his wife's narration, where Ali was presented as a poor lamb. The reality turned out to be far from the wife’s tales.

Ali used to talk about the local traditions with obvious contempt. He was sniffy about anyone who did not live up to his inner highbrow standards. Moreover, he had little or hardly any respect to the thought of marrying a girl, inferior to his own intellectual level. All these factors contradicted Leila’s ideal image of her son’s blissful future.

Now two outsize suitcases were put at the entrance door, inviting Ali into the world of new experiences. One of the bags was stuffed with eastern sweeties: oil dripping baklavas; kurabiyes and other homemade delicacies, which had been baked by Leila within the previous two days. Although Ali was more than glad to eat outdoors and hated the local cuisine (as well as everything related to the city), he put on a semblance of gratitude to Leila’s efforts.

The other case was filled with warm clothes: knitted sweaters and woolen socks, which his mum prepared for him, either, with exquisite care. Ali looked at these room-size trunks as a burden, which he had to carry leaving the country. For him it felt as if the local execrable stuff were clinging onto his departing limbs. But for his distressed mother, he would have shaken the things off. Sometimes his remarks inadvertently made his true attitude quite clear. Though most of the time, he thought, he succeeded in hiding it from the person, who brought him up and knew him better than he did himself.

Wearing a black suit with a blue-striped tie, Ali caught his reflection in the mirror. The realization of the fact, that he did not look like those curious European fellows on TV, made him sick. He was aware of his air of a villager, radiating from his persona: his countenance, gestures, glances.

Beside the mirror, there were standing his dad and granddad. They were all dressed in the same way. Only the color of their ties was different. This particular scene gave Ali the pang of his inevitable future – that is the one if he, by any chance, recklessly returned to the “boondocks”. The mere thought of such a denouement made him cringe.

“What a man! You did a good job! My son!” – Husein, Abdul’s father, was talking to his son, referring to Ali.

Being a former counterespionage employee during the decades of the Evil Empire, Husein was a sophisticated man. He could better than anyone predict the course of coming events and, probably, former trade endowed him with the ability to see people inside out. The youth in front of him evoked various calculations in Husein’s mind. To be exact, there were different ramifications, which Ali’s studies abroad might entail. So hopeful and confident the lad seemed to him, that he doubted to see him again in this city of limited possibilities. Yet he wisely kept the thought to himself.

Close friends and relatives gathered up in the patio to see Ali off. Women with glasses of water in their hands were waiting in a line. Each of them was letting out soothing words to Leila.

The local superstition held the following: if you threw water after the leaving person, it would guarantee their success in places, wherever their road was supposed to take them, and even more – a sure come back home. For Ali, who mocked at the superstitions, it was the most irritating thing – to hear the wishes to come back safe and sound. But he clenched his teeth and habitually smiled in the face of all the people around.

Observing his brother, Hannah had ambiguous feelings. She rejoiced at his success and at the same time felt sorry for herself. She did not want to be a girl, she hated being a female, she hated being treated the way she was! A rebel was rioting in her system. The thought was materializing into physical pains. She felt a tight rope binding around her neck and pulling tighter, whenever she wanted to gulp. She wanted to tear that rope apart and shout to her father, to all those people standing around, to the society of the city, that she was not worse than the boy, they were applauding to; and she could prove, if only she was given an opportunity, that a woman was in no way intellectually inferior to a man. She would if she could!

There were no direct flights from the city of “N” to Munich, so Ali was first taken to the train, which would bring him to the capital of the country. Abdul and Husein accompanied him till the station, leaving the women at home.

Meanwhile, the females were trying to console Leila. Each of them was saying something encouraging from their own experience. One of them, called Ulduz, went too far, comparing Leila’s experience to the death of her brother: “I bet you will forget him in six months!”. Then, giggling in a childish way, she added: “When I lost my brother, it was painful, but it lasted roughly three months; and half a year later I forgot thinking of him”. Ulduz was a rather tactless woman of forty and often behaved in strange unexpected ways. But this was explicable by the fact that she was rarely allowed out into the society. Actually, this type of women was seen as a role model of “a good wife”. The thing, that made her a paragon, was her unawareness of the outer world. If she were left in another part of the street, she would not be able to find her way home. Her world confided to the boundaries of the place she resided; and coming out felt like leaving the planet Earth and travelling to the Moon.

The vast majority of women were of this very type. Locals even invented a separate notion for them – “domestic wives”. These domesticated creatures had “masters” – their husbands. It goes without saying, that “domestic wives” were tamed to the whims of their masters. This inhuman process took years of training, though it did not devoid women of the wish to escape from their Master and to worship the latter. They kept praying God “to never leave them without an owner”. A man used to pride himself on having such a wife. Hannah, listening to all those stories, was aghast and ready to die not to fall victim of another massacre. These rebellious thoughts vividly expressed themselves in a tension on her picture-like face. The change was so obvious, that Hannah wished them all gone.

As if in answer to her prays, after a while, the weather changed rapidly: a cloudless day turned into a boisterous wind, promising a heavy rain to downpour. Seeing the change in the mood of the day, neighbors and relatives hurried to retire to their respective homes. Leila – as well as Hannah – were left alone to adjust themselves to a new way of existence.

That evening Hannah was apprehensive of her mother’s gloomy mood. She was accustomed to the scenes when her mother gave way to her feelings, while Abdul was not at home. Now Leila stood at the windowsill of the aynabend and looked at the yard, which was slowly turning into a mush of mud under the fierce power of rioting sky. Much to Hannah’s surprise, her mother was in a calm state. The most unusual behavior for Leila was to remain tranquil. Sometimes she went so violent that she could turn to beating herself, so now it seemed odd that she did not act up. Hannah was apprehensively waiting for something worse to come soon; she fixed her gaze at her mother, trying to predict her actions. Recalling the last scene that Leila made, Hannah recoiled in horror. Leila used to lie down on the floor in the aynabend, beating her head against the floor violently, shouting grievously, weeping bitterly. As the room was all windows, every hit caused glasses shake, doubling the dramatic effect of the pathetic actions. It was a gruesome scene to be exposed to. Hannah loathed, detested, abhorred such emotional explosions – yet, there was nothing she could do about them. She would go to her bedroom, adjacent to the aynabend and through its windows looked at her mother who, like a wild wounded animal, was writhing, roaring on the floor in fits of delirium and attacks of panic. Observing it from another room was much safer for Hannah than in close vicinity. At those moments, the window turned into a psychological frame, separating Hannah from the world of insanity, in which she lived but refused to believe with all her heart: “NO! NO-NO!.. IT ISN’T REAL… IT CAN’T BE HAPPENING… NOPE”.

Chapter 6:

Within the years of absence (2003–2006)

Since Ali’s departure, changes started taking place rapidly. Not only did they occur within the family bounds, but the whole city of “N” stepped into a new phase of its development.

Year 2003 turned out to be the most determining in the political system. The fifth presidential election was to be held in the fall. Due care was taken not to allow any real opposition to put forward their candidacy against the son of the Leader, who was supposed to “democratically inherit” the position. There was only one group of real oppositionists, which consisted of religious bigots, ready to seize power and force the city into a Religious state. This group found support with the bulk of voters, who had fundamental religious education. By “science” they acknowledged information given by the Prophet in the “Sacred book” many-many centuries ago. Seemingly united by law of letter, the group was divided into numerous branches, which did not stay in perfect harmony, but waged constant wars in between. Still there were fears that if they had a chance to nominate their Leader for the upcoming election, they could win. In this case, the country would be found in a deplorable condition: these, obsessed by verses of the “Sacred Book”, people would not hesitate to spill blood to meet their ends.

To somehow avoid unnecessary victims, the government was to adhere to “certain” rules. For this 46

sake, they introduced a few “puppets”, labelled as “presidential contenders”. This elimination of real opposition could be seen as an outrageous demolishment of democracy. Yet, one should not rush to a conclusion and judge these undemocratic procedures severely. For westerners, or as they are periphrastically called “people from developed countries”, this particular way of election might seem unfair and cruel. Their outlook stems from a rather romantic point of view on freedom and individual choice. Many ideas, supported in western culture, pose a real danger for the eastern one, as people themselves are not ready for such a diversity. The unpleasant imprint of the oppressive regime of the Evil Empire, which lasted for decades, still firmly stayed in the DNA of the citizens. Taking into consideration the fact that this very country had been deprived of independence for almost 70 years and had been guided by appointed Leaders, the very notion of “taking reasonable decisions” was eradicated from their minds. Their blocked consciousness got used to be told what, when and in which way should be done. Yet after the downfall of the Evil Empire, there were futile attempts to create a democratic state – at least theoretically; at least – on paper. Be that as it may, we shall not condemn those, who could not make right choices shortly after. No way! If one is given options in an oblivious state of mind, it is hardly called “freedom”, but “a straight way to failure”.

To give the devil his due, the would-be president – the son of the current Leader – was a well-educated man, who ardently supported the western ideas of liberty. Having a Ph. D. in history, he fully understood of the roots of the underlying problem. This knowledge deterred him from thrusting freedom upon his nation all at once. Struggling with the stated dilemma, he developed a private scheme of gradual introduction of the concept under consideration: first – the integration with the idea of freedom, then – step-by-step immersion into a free way of life. Only under the condition of the aforementioned points’ successful implementation, freedom (in its western sense) could be attained.

Despite the devised plan, the newly elected President could hardly bring it into life. The previous Leader had already carefully adjusted each detail in the System in such a way, that it would work smoothly for many years to come. It did not really matter and could not make any difference as to who the next President was – his son or anyone else. Whoever took “the steering of the Machine”, he had no other choice but to follow the instruction, left by the previous “driver”. Otherwise, he would run the risk of crushing and killing himself, but not the perfectly built structure, each detail of which was thoroughly picked and installed. The man was wise enough to assign authorizations only to those, who were of the same breed. These people were supporters of his Regime; and they would not tolerate “outsiders”. So, being born with a political spoon in his mouth, the son of the former Leader happened to play the most appropriate candidate to presidency.

The predictable outcome of the upcoming election made common people weary to come and vote: “Why bother?”. After all, they knew very well, that the son of the former President would inherit the position.

Yet, the election campaign, officially launched in October 2003, did not run smoothly. Those religious tribes, whose Leader was excluded from the democratic process, came out into the streets, and for a good reason, were bitten by the police troops. This mistreatment of “common people” attracted the attention of Human Rights’ Watch and they managed to document the violence towards journalists and opposition.

Fortunately for some and unfortunately for others, this “violation of human rights” was soon hushed up with a remarkable generous gesture. As it was already mentioned, the new President was an expert on history, which significantly helped him to rule out from such awkward situations. While he was brooding over the ways of resolution of these minor unpleasantries, concerning the Human Rights’ Watch, the words of an ancient ruler – Alexander Makedonskiy – flashed in his mind: “A loophole to let a gold laden donkey can be found even in the most protected fortresses.” Undoubtedly, from the beginning of mankind and up to our days, thousands of strategies have remained true and applicable, when it comes to dealing such mundane matters as “violence of human rights”. Therefore, “a gold laden donkey” was what he needed for this particular case.

Laying the foundation of his career on the time-proven concepts, the new President was cultivating his own unique, yet inherent to his nation, policy. Later it came down in history under an acquired nick – “fishegg policy”. Many major alternations were yet to come.

His reconstruction of the city and minds of the citizens were to be witnessed. Such comforts as regular and stable electricity, hot and cold running water, properly working heating and health-care systems, which were previously seen as luxuries, – slowly but steadily were incorporated in the norms of the whole country. Little by little, the ghost state got filled with blood and flesh, which diluted the greyness of its existence with bright colors. Everyone was pleased with the sight of blooming cities. Comparing the improvements with the former way of life, only the ignorant failed to acknowledge that the First Post was occupied by the right person. There were no evident obstacles for the hope, that prosperity was bound to come.

The life of the Bakhtulovs’ witnessed considerable changes, too. But the awaited blooming prosperity was not up their street. It took some time for every member of the family to adjust to Ali’s absence. As silly Ulduz once predicted, still talking about the prodigal son and calling out his name, they started to forget, that some months earlier Ali was under the same roof. Each of them found their own ways to accept the loss.

Entering the middle-age crisis, Abdul was no better than other men in coping with the coming Doom. Futile attempts to prove, that he was no worse than men in their twenties, were exposed through innumerable love affairs. However, he hardly possessed enough strength to keep them up. The desire to grasp his sliding youth was behind his inappropriate behavior. The undertaken actions were typical of an inconsiderate boy – rather than a man of his status. Moreover, all his belongings – a house with a fixed style of life and a conventional wife – now served as reminders of his regularity, the imminent feature of Solid Age. All these conveniences, towards which a man struggles, and achieves through putting his youth on the altar of Life, were a harsh price for the unnoticeably passed yeasty years. Ready to return the irretrievable, Abdul threw his cap over the mill. The luring power of the young careless life dangerously blinded the man.