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Their Child?
Their Child?

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Their Child?

Язык: Английский
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If, if, if.

There was no point in going there. What might have been simply wasn’t.

She’d kept her secret. And he’d moved away. Far, far away.

She had tried to reach him and he hadn’t been reachable.

And then there was Henry.

Henry, who had loved her in a deep and steady way. Henry, who had been just the father her son needed. She had loved Henry. She still did. Henry was the rock she’d built her till-then floundering life upon. She couldn’t imagine what her world would be like now, if she’d never known him. With Henry, she’d come into her own as a true adult.

Tucker still watched her. His gaze tempted her…to reach for him. To lose herself.

And it came to her: a part of her resented her own powerful response to this man who was her son’s natural father. Her hard-won adult self didn’t trust that he still managed to stir her in exactly the way he’d stirred her as a confused and yearning seventeen-year-old girl. When she looked into Tucker’s velvet-brown eyes, she felt like a kid again. As if she hadn’t matured or changed one bit in the eleven years since the unforgettable night that set her life spinning onto a new and unexpected course.

The emotions—the passions—he roused in her scared her. A lot. They made her feel less, somehow, than she wanted and needed to be. They called into question her whole life, all her choices, between that fateful night when Brody was conceived and this moment—this moment, when she should be in the cabana putting on her clothes, but wasn’t. This moment, when she couldn’t seem to make herself turn away and rise from her chair.

She gave another wimpy stab at doing what she should. “I ought to get dressed.”

“I know.” He gave her a smile that she couldn’t quite read. It seemed part male appreciation. And part something else…

Something very, very dangerous. Something intimate and tender.

That did it.

Lori jumped to her feet and headed for the cabana, achingly aware of his gaze on her back the whole way.

Tucker watched her go, and marveled…

How had this happened? How could he be so absolutely, beyond-a-shadow-of-a-doubt sure? He didn’t know. And as he’d told her a few minutes before, how didn’t matter anyway.

Still, it was amazing. He’d only known her a few short days—and no, to him, the past didn’t count. All those years ago, when they were kids and he was going with Lena, he hadn’t known Lori then. Not in any way that mattered. Not the way he knew her now.

The past, to him, was nothing. As he’d told Lori, he’d been a fool, then.

He couldn’t even see her then. When he tried to remember her back then, he saw a shadow of a person, a quiet girl who looked like Lena.

It was all different now. He no longer saw Lena when he looked at Lori. Now, he saw her, Lori Lee, completely independent of her twin. And he could see them, already, the three of them—Tucker and Lori and Brody. He could see how it would be, see it clear as a bright Texas morning.

He saw them as a family. Saw the nights like this one that would be theirs all the time; saw their lives, his and Lori’s, together, raising Brody.

And afterward, when Brody was grown up and gone, he could see just the two of them, on their own—well, unless there were more kids to raise. That would be okay with him, too.

It would all be okay with him, as long as he could have Lori at his side for the rest of their lives.

It was pretty strange and new for him, yes. But he was dealing with it. He was just fine with it—in spite of the fact that he’d never been the kind to see himself with another person. He’d known quite a few women, been involved in a number of blazing-hot affairs. The heat and the longing never lasted. He’d never expected it to.

Looking back, he wouldn’t say he’d loved them and left them, exactly. He’d simply never been the kind who considered settling down. No matter how white-hot things got, he always knew the day would come when he’d be moving on.

He’d been changing, though, in the last few years. He’d put down roots in his hometown. Now, he had no problem seeing himself as a family man; he saw himself as Lori’s husband and Brody’s father.

And Tucker liked what he saw.

Chapter Four

You what?” Tate grabbed his brandy and took a big gulp.

“I’m going to marry Lori Lee Taylor,” Tucker said calmly for the second time.

They sat in Tate’s study in matching leather wing chairs, boots up on the tufted ottoman between them, sipping their after-dinner brandy while Molly was busy upstairs with the babies.

Tate slanted Tucker a glance from under the dark shelf of his brow. “Does Lori Lee happen to know that you’re her future husband?”

“Not yet.”

Tate chewed on that for a moment, then demanded, “You even been out with her?”

“Yep. Last night she and her boy, Brody, came over. Brody rode Little Amos. Then we had barbecue and went swimming. It was great.”

“Came over? Here? To the house? I didn’t see her—or the boy.”

“Because you weren’t here. You and Molly went out last night, remember?”

Tate blustered, “I know where I went.”

“You sound just like Granddaddy, you know that?”

“Don’t get on me,” Tate growled.

“I’m not. It was only a statement of fact.”

Narrow-eyed, Tate scowled at Tucker for several seconds. Then he grunted. “Damn. Molly told me you were asking about Lori Lee, but I didn’t think…” The sentence wandered off into nothing.

“You didn’t think what?”

“Well, now, Tuck. It’s not as if you’ve had time to get to know her. She’s been in town, what? A few days?”

“Seven days as of tomorrow, and—”

Tate interrupted, “You’ve never even been alone with her, have you?”

“We were alone last night. We talked, Lori and me. We talked for hours.”

“With the little boy right there the whole time.”

“Brody was busy. On the pony. In the pool. Playing with Fargo.”

“Okay. All right. You had one date, then.”

“So?”

“Well, you have to admit this is pretty damn sudden.”

Tucker shrugged. “Sudden or not, I know what I want and Lori Lee and Brody are it—and come on. Think about how it was with you and Molly. You wanted her from the first. Don’t try to tell me you didn’t.”

Tate shook his head. “It’s not the same. I knew Molly all my life without wanting her in the least. I only really saw her when she made me mad and ran for mayor.”

Tucker raised his snifter in a salute. “That’s it. It’s the same with me and Lori. I knew her all my life. And then I finally saw her. At the Gas ‘n Go last Saturday, when she and Brody first got into town.”

“All your life? You been outta town for about a third of your life. And for that matter, so has she.”

“And your point is?”

“Tuck. Listen. Yeah, I finally saw Molly. I realized I wanted Molly. I wanted her bad. But marry her? No way. I didn’t want to marry her until I knew she was having my baby. And I didn’t realize I loved her with all my heart till even later than that.”

“Well, and that’s the difference between you and me, big brother. I can see what I want and know that it’s love from the get-go—or that it will be, in time.”

“Naw.”

“Yeah.”

Tate sipped more brandy, frowned as he swallowed, and waded on in to the argument again. “What I’m telling you, Tucker, is love is a process. And it appears to me that you have skipped a few steps.”

“I don’t agree.”

“But you don’t even know her. You can’t. Not in any way that matters.”

“I do know her. I knew her the minute I saw her last Saturday. She’s my future wife.”

Tate looked at him long and hard. “Think of all the women you’ve been with.”

Tucker had zero interest in doing that. “Why? What about them?”

“They came and you went, now didn’t you?”

“Very funny.”

“I’m just trying to get you to see that you can’t exactly say you’ve ever been the marrying kind. You don’t know a whole lot about the hard work that goes into making a life with a woman.”

“I’ve changed.”

Tate considered that statement for several endless seconds. Finally, he allowed Tucker a grudging nod. “Maybe you have changed. Some.”

“No. I’ve changed a lot.”

“Still, Lori Lee’s only been a widow for what? A year?”

“Yeah. So?”

“Maybe she’s not ready to get married again. Maybe she loved her husband and still does. You considered that?”

He hadn’t. The idea made him feel a little sick to his stomach. “She’s interested. I can see it in her eyes.”

“And then there’s the boy to consider…”

“I told you. I am considering Brody.”

“It’s a big step, taking on a child to raise.”

“I know it’s a big step.”

“And then there’s whoever the hell blew through town eleven years ago and fathered that boy. You talked to Lori Lee about him yet?”

Tucker was forced to confess, “No, I haven’t.”

“Maybe you better. Maybe it would be a good idea to talk with her about her dead husband and Brody’s father before you go popping any important questions.”

Tucker fully intended to do just that—eventually. “I don’t want to rush things.”

Tate threw back his big dark head and let his deep laugh roll out. “You’re marryin’ her, it’s a done deal—but you don’t want to rush things?”

Tucker shook his head and muttered, “I don’t know why I’m even talking to you about this.”

“Well, I do. You need a little feedback and you realize I’m the man to give it to you.”

“Is that what you call this? Feedback?”

“That’s right. And Lori Lee’ll be headed home to…where does she live, now?”

“San Antonio.”

“She’ll be headed back to San Antonio in, what…?”

“I don’t know. After the wedding, I guess. Unless I can get her to say yes before that.”

Slowly, Tate smiled. “Better get crackin’.”

Tucker grunted as he realized that Tate wasn’t completely averse to his plans, after all. “You SOB. You had me worried there.”

Tate gave him a level look. “I just want you to be sure you’ve thought this through.”

“I have.”

“Glad to hear it.”

“Why do you sound doubtful then?”

“Listen. You want to marry Lori Lee, I say more power to you. Long as she wants to marry you.”

“She will.”

Tate tipped his snifter at Tucker. “See. There, now. That could be your problem. Don’t get too cocky, you hear what I’m sayin’? A man gets too cocky and the first thing he knows, a woman feels it’s her duty to pull the damn rug right out from under him.”

“You’re talking about you and Molly, now. Not Lori and me.”

“I’m talking about all women. And all men. Women love a man who knows what he wants and goes about getting it. He just shouldn’t be too sure of himself. A woman needs a man who can be humble when he has to.”

Tucker stopped himself from rolling his eyes. “You’ve never been humble a day in your life, Tate.”

“Oh, yeah. I have. I’ve been on my knees and don’t you doubt it. It wasn’t easy. Specially not the first time. But a man can get used to crawling now and then. For the right woman.”

“I really don’t think that crawling will be necessary.”

Tate only shook his head and reached for the brandy bottle to pour them both another drink.

Saturday night, Lori’s mother served a rib roast so tender and juicy that when Heck carved it, the meat fell right off the bone. Heck said the blessing in his usual style: short and to the point.

They started passing the potatoes, the green beans and the gravy.

Heck turned to his grandson. “So, young man. You enjoyin’ your visit to Gramma and Paw-Paw’s?”

Brody gulped and nodded and got busy serving himself some whipped potatoes. He was cautious around Heck. Lori wasn’t sure if he’d picked that up from her, or if it was just a matter of Heck being a loud and boisterous man and Brody not spending enough time with him to get used to his ways.

“Can’t hear you when your mouth’s shut,” boomed Heck.

Lori plunked the bowl of green beans down without passing it. “We can sure hear you, Daddy. Since you shout most of the time.”

Heck stiffened. He sent one of those what-did-I-say? glances at Lori’s mother. Enid gave him back a sheepish look. Heck said, “Well, I am so sorry if I have offended you—again.”

Brody, who’d been watching the exchange with wide eyes, chose that moment to speak up. “We went to the lake. That was fun.”

Heck pasted on a great, big smile and beamed it at Brody. “Good, son. Glad to hear it.”

“And day before yesterday, we went to Tucker’s house. He lives on a ranch. I rode a horse named Little Amos. I swam in the pool and I played with Tucker’s dog—you know, the one I told you about. Fargo’s his name.”

Heck leaned toward Enid at the other end of the table and spoke to her as if the two of them were alone. “They went out to the Bravo place?”

Lori’s mother gave her husband a look of great patience. “Heck, honey, why don’t you ask Lori?”

“Yeah, Daddy. Why don’t you ask me? After all, I’m sitting right here.”

“Humph. Well. Ahem.” Heck turned his big head Lori’s way and asked with studied care, “Did you go out to the Bravo place, Lori—girl?”

She looked into his eyes, which were the same shade of blue as her own, and she knew he was trying, that he was doing his best to get along with her, to mend the fences he’d trampled so cruelly eleven years ago.

And she was way too hard on him, she realized that. He loved her. He’d only ever done the best he knew how for her.

It was just that every time she looked at him, she remembered him looming over her terrified pregnant seventeen-year-old self, spewing warnings. Shouting scary threats.

Who is he? By God, I will know. Who did this to you? You will tell me and I will fix him so he never does this to another innocent girl. Who is he? Lori, you tell me now. I will know who he is and I will track him down and if he’s a day over eighteen, his sorry butt is headed straight to jail…

She’d cowered under the ominous weight of her father’s threats, believing, as only a scared kid can believe, that if she told, her father would do exactly what he’d promised. He’d send Tucker to jail. She’d pictured that—Tucker on a chain gang because of her and her lies. Tucker, wearing those striped pajamas they wore in old prison movies; Tucker dirty and bloody and needing a shave, beating rocks with a pickaxe in the sweltering sun.

Lori still didn’t know which had hurt the worst: the threats and the yelling when she was so frightened already of what was going to happen to her—or that he had packed her off to San Antonio where he wouldn’t have to watch his unmarried little girl get big with a baby and embarrass him in front of the whole town.

But that was then, she reminded herself.

Right now, she was a grown woman who ran her own life. Right now, all Heck had done was to ask her a civil question.

“Yes, Daddy. We went out to the Double T Thursday night. Tucker invited us. We had a great time.”

“Well, now,” said Heck. “That’s nice. Real nice.” She could see the question in his eyes: Something going on between you and Tucker Bravo?

But he didn’t ask it. For once, Heck kept his peace.

Lori was grateful to him for that. She was also shamefully aware that it wasn’t so much a question Heck had no right to ask, but more one she didn’t want to answer.

Because of the secret she’d kept for so long.

The secret…

Funny. At home in San Antonio, where she was a respected widow whose bright son went to a good school, she’d gotten so she hardly ever thought about the secret anymore. But now that she was back in Tate’s Junction, the secret just never seemed to leave her alone.

The secret was a big problem. She did know that. It was an enormous weight on her mind and heart. It wore her down. She had to get rid of it, for good and all.

And she would.

Right after the wedding.

She gave her dad a careful smile. He reached over and patted her hand. “Now, how ‘bout you go ahead and pass those green beans this way, honey?” She lifted the bowl and handed it to him. “Thank you,” he said.

“You’re welcome, Daddy.”

The next day, Lori saw Tucker at church again. And at the diner afterward. He kept catching her eye. Her pulse would race and her palms would sweat—and she would smile and nod and look away.

Later in the afternoon, Lori and her mom and sister were sitting at the kitchen table poring over fabric sample books, discussing window treatments for the new house Lena and Dirk would move into as soon as they returned from their honeymoon. The phone rang and Lori jumped. She knew it would be him.

Her mother turned in her chair and snared the receiver off the wall behind her as Lori actively resisted the compulsion to shriek, Don’t answer that!

“Why, hello Tucker.” Enid actually wiggled her eyebrows at Lori—as Lena jabbed an elbow in Lori’s ribs.

“Hey!” Lori grumbled. Her sister only giggled—and wiggled her own eyebrows. Lori wanted to grab one of the fabric sample books and bop her twin on the head with it.

“Well, as it so happens,” Lori’s mother cooed into the phone. “She’s sitting right here. Hold on.” Enid covered the mouthpiece and shoved it at Lori. “Tucker,” she whispered dramatically, as if Lori didn’t already know.

Lori took the phone. “Hello, Tucker.”

“Hey.” His voice, so warm and deep, made her want to burst into tears. What was that old saying about liars weaving a tangled web? Oh, they did. They truly did. Lori felt the thick, many-layered web of her own dishonesty pulling tight around her, cutting off her air. He added, “I had a great time the other night…”

“Me, too,” she heard herself saying. It was the truth—just not all the truth. “Thanks again.”

“Any time—like, say, tonight? I’ll pick you up at six. We can drive into Abilene. I know a great little Mexican place there.”

“Tonight?” Dread coiled through her like a snake gathering to strike. She imagined the two of them—alone, with no interruptions.

And plenty of time to talk.

No. She couldn’t do it. Couldn’t be alone with him again and not tell him—or maybe, on second thought, she could be alone with him and not tell him. And that scared her most of all.

The other night had been bad enough, but at least then, she’d had the excuse that he and Brody were getting to know each other a little, that if even she wanted to tell him, it simply was not the time.

But if Brody weren’t there, if it were just the two of them…

No. Bad, bad idea.

Her sister and her mother were both nodding frantically. She turned and faced the wall so she wouldn’t have to look at them. “Oh, really. I’d better not.” Behind her, Lena and Enid let out sharp groans of disapproval.

Tucker allowed a long beat of silence echo down the line before he repeated flatly, “Better not?”

She rushed into a totally fake reason why she couldn’t go. “We have the big family Sunday dinner tonight and…” She let the excuse finish itself. It sounded so lame.

He thought so, too. She could hear it in his voice when he tried again. “How about later in the week, then? We could—”

“Tucker, I really can’t.”

He was silent. Way too silent. Behind her, she heard her mother and sister fluttering and fuming. She stared bleakly at the wall.

Finally, Tucker said, “I don’t get it. I thought—”

She couldn’t bear to hear him say it. “Listen. I wonder…”

“What?” The word was wariness personified.

It was a moment of total desperation. Oh, God. What to say next?

And right then, the idea came to her…

She knew what to do. She saw the way to lock herself in to the moment of truth. She’d set aside the time for it now. Right now.

An appointment. Yes. She’d make an appointment to tell him and she’d make it today.

“Hold on,” she said to him. “I’ll be right back.”

“Sure,” he replied, as if he wasn’t sure in the least.

She punched the mute button and whirled on her hovering mother and sister. “I’m taking this in the other room,” she told them in her most threatening tone.

They both put up their hands and fluttered their eyelashes to let her know they would neither of them ever presume to butt in on her life or her private conversations. She turned and left them, headed for the half-bath off the kitchen, where she shut and locked the door before punching the mute button again.

“Tucker?”

“I’m still here.” He sounded like he kind of wished he wasn’t. She didn’t blame him in the least.

Get on with it, she thought. “I need an appointment. At your office. I need it for a week from Monday. Do you think you could fit me in then?”

A gaping moment of silence ensued. Then, at last, “Is this about a legal matter?”

“Uh. Yeah. That’s right.” Well, it was. Kind of. “Could you see me then? A week from Monday?”

“Lori, I have to tell you, this is pretty damn strange.”

She couldn’t have agreed with him more. “Will you see me? At your office?”

Another silence and then, finally, “Sure. Call my secretary and make an appointment.”

“Thank you, I…Tucker?” He didn’t answer. “Tucker?” About then, she realized she was talking to air.

Tucker had hung up.

“But you like him,” argued Lena, when Lori returned to the kitchen and told them she wouldn’t be going out with Tucker.

“And, honey,” said her mother. “He’s really settled down. Why, half the single women in town would be thrilled to go out with him.”

“Then he should ask one of them—now, could we just not talk about this anymore? Please?”

“I don’t understand you,” said Lena. “I just never have…”

Tucker didn’t understand it.

He’d thought, judging by Thursday night, that he and Lori were on the same page. That at least she was attracted to him, that she’d be willing to see where things might go between them.

Guess not.

She wouldn’t go out with him—but she wanted to discuss some damn legal issue with him. It made zero sense.

He ought to forget her.

But he didn’t. Somehow, he couldn’t. As Sunday faded into Monday and Monday into Tuesday, he thought about her constantly. More than once he found himself with the phone in his hand, about to dial her parents’ number.

But he never did it.

What was the point? She’d made it painfully clear she didn’t want to see him.

Until next Monday. In his office.

His assistant, Anna, had told him she’d called to set up the appointment, as per his instructions. He had her on his calendar in the 10:00 a.m. slot: Lori Taylor, consultation.

Consultation about what?

He didn’t know. And that was damned unprofessional. He never scheduled appointments unless he had at least a general grasp of the potential client’s problem and thought the case was one he might want to take on.

He ought to call her and tell her he needed to know what the meeting was about or he would have to cancel. But he didn’t call her. He had the sinking feeling that if he called her, she would cancel. He’d never see her again.

Which shouldn’t be such a big damn deal. It wasn’t as if he’d be seeing much of her anyway. Right?

Thursday, he spotted her in the hardware store. She gave him a quick wave and turned away. Brody wasn’t with her, so he didn’t even get a chance to say hi to the kid.

It shouldn’t mean this much, he kept thinking. He shouldn’t care this much. Yeah, he’d had a powerful feeling that she was the woman for him. But clearly, she had no such feeling and it took two to get something going. Even Tucker, with his limited experience in longterm relationships, could figure that much out.

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