The Valentines

To our left, there’s loud music and chatter.

Glasses are being clinked and flashes of light glint through the edges of the door. Every time the door opens, I see slices of life: beautiful clothes, beautiful food, beautiful people, beautiful conversations. Mum’s in there being beautiful with Dad, Faith and Mercy and Grandma, and photographers, and olives on sticks, and loads of boys I have the potential to fall in love with.

I stretch towards it again.

‘The universe needs you to be here?’ Max frowns at me. ‘Hope, you have got to stop doing whatever those horoscopes tell you. They’re not instructions – they’re random lines made up by a loser sitting in a cupboard somewhere.’

‘You’re made up by a loser in a cupboard somewhere.’

‘That doesn’t even make sense. Do you know how much trouble I’d be in if I let you in, Poodle? I’m already playing a dead person every night as it is.’

To our left is the clink of champagne glasses.

‘Please, Max.’ My voice is wobbling, which is weird because I’m telling it to be confident and assertive. ‘Please. Life is happening in there, but I’m always out here. I don’t think I can wait any longer. I’m so tired of always, always, always being on my own.’

My brother blinks. ‘You are, aren’t you?’

‘The point is— Max?’ He’s staring blankly at my forehead. ‘Max.’ I pull hard on his tux sleeve. ‘Hello? Listen to me! I am talking to you, Max.’

‘Pipe down, Poodle. I’m thinking.’

Before I know it, there’s a hat on my head.

‘What are you doing?’ I snap in irritation, taking it off again. ‘If you want to look like a fashion-tasteless idiot, that’s up to you, but don’t destroy my Look.’

‘You’ll have to look like an idiot too if you want to go to this party.’

I stare at him. What the hell is that supposed to—? ‘Oh my GOSH, REALLY? If I wear the hat, you’ll take me in? Do you really mean it? Really, truly? Inbu— Inbudi—’

‘Indubitably? Yes.’ Max smiles. ‘You need a night out. Possibly a mindfulness app. Definitely a dictionary.’

With a happy squeak, I spin in a circle.

I love my brother! He’s the best big brother that ever lived and I retract everything I just thought about him.

‘Do me a favour, though,’ Max says, grabbing my shoulders. ‘Keep a low profile and stop with the twirling. Bring anyone you meet to see me first. Anyone. Avoid Granny, Mer and Faith, keep your head down, stay quiet and stick to the edges of the room. You’re a phantom this evening, understand?’

‘Absolutely.’ I nod passionately, holding my hand in the air. ‘Nobody will see me. I’ll be invisible. A ghost. I will make an absolute spectacle of myself. I won’t even say hi to Mum and Dad when I see them, I promise.’

‘It’s spectre, mousebear.’ Max frowns slightly and puts his arm round me. ‘Remember, Po, you make your own destiny, OK?’

I roll my eyes. What does he think I’m trying to do?

‘This one’s with me.’ Max grins at the bouncer, plopping the wide-rimmed hat back on my head. ‘Who doesn’t like a bit of trouble, eh?’

With an unnecessarily grand gesture, my big brother bows and flings the doors of the party open with an attention-seeking bang.

‘It’s time to party.’

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