Joy for Mourning

“Ohhh!” Laina all but swooned at sight of the different-colored gowns draped over the young maid’s arms. “Bless you, Elizabeth!” She gave her sister-in-law a fierce hug, then clasped her hands in ecstasy at the array of beautiful gowns being spread out on the bed. “Oh, my! They look like a rainbow.”

“God’s promise of better days ahead.” Elizabeth patted Laina’s clasped hands, then gave a rueful glance at the gowns. “I’m afraid there’s nothing red.”

Laina ignored the remark about God’s promise. “I know—Justin hates red.” She reached out and fingered the soft satin of a periwinkle-blue gown with an overdress of cream-colored, lace-edged net. “Perhaps this one?” She shot a questioning look at Elizabeth. “Or do you think it’s too—”

“I think it’s perfect. It will look lovely with your dark hair and blue eyes.” Elizabeth cleared her throat and turned to her maids. “Annie, go to my room and bring back my cream-colored satin slippers and my paisley stole. They look well with the dress. And Trudy, remove that black crape from around the bottom of Mrs. Brighton’s petticoat, then help her into the blue gown.”

She swept her gaze to Laina as the maids rushed to do her bidding. “It’s fortunate we’re much of a size. These gowns will do for now, if Trudy takes a tuck here and there. But you need dresses of deeper, more vibrant colors to truly enhance your beauty. And I know the very modiste who can create them for you.” Her lips twitched and she looked away.

“What is it?”

Her query drew Elizabeth’s gaze back to meet hers. “I can’t pretend any longer, Laina. I’m so glad you agreed to cast aside your mourning attire, because your brother has already arranged for Madame Duval to wait on you tomorrow.”

“He has?” Excitement coursed through her as Elizabeth nodded affirmation. “Well, bless his heart!”

Laina rapped softly, then rushed through the door into her brother’s study before he had a chance to answer. “Justin, I’m sorry to interrupt whatever it is you’re doing, but I simply had to come thank you!”

Justin dropped the bill of lading he’d been comparing against the profit statement on his desk and braced himself as Laina hurled herself into his arms. “Thank me for what?”

“For setting me free!” Laina stepped back, held her arms out to the sides and did a quick pirouette. “Do I not look lovely?”

“Beautiful.” Justin’s grin changed into a frown. “But much too thin.” Concern darkened his eyes. “Are you certain you’re not ill?”

“I’m fine, dearheart.” He looked doubtful. Laina sighed. “Truly I am, Justin. It’s only that I’ve had no appetite. Sitting alone at a dining table staring at empty chairs does not encourage one to eat well.”

His face tightened. “Yes…I remember.”

“Oh, Justin, I’m sorry.” Laina put her arms around his waist and squeezed. “I didn’t mean to bring back bad memories.”

“It’s all right, Laina. Thanks to the Lord’s blessings, the past no longer has the power to hurt me.” He kissed the top of her head, then held her a short distance away. His gaze fastened on hers. “I was remembering in regard to your circumstances. I intend to do something about them.”

He sounded so certain! Hope locked the air in Laina’s lungs. “What do you intend to do?”

Justin shook his head. “I don’t know. I only know the first step is to pray for guidance.”

The air rushed from Laina’s lungs in a disgusted, disappointed snort. She stepped back. “Then I’ll not hold my brea—” His finger on her lips stopped the angry words.

“Don’t speak words of unbelief, Laina. They only block your own blessing.” He lowered his hand to his side. “I know how you feel, and I understand. I felt the same way not very long ago. But I was wrong.”

She drew breath to speak.

He shook his head. “Trust me, Laina. I’m not asking you to believe—only to be still and wait.”

It was too much. She couldn’t hold the anger any longer. “Wait? I’ve waited for ten years! Do you really think things will change now? Look at me! I’m barren, Justin. I’m a widow whose husband lost interest when I couldn’t produce an heir. Do you think another man will marry me? Things would only end the same way.”

The words spurted from Laina’s mouth as fast as the tears flowed down her cheeks. She swiped the tears away and drew a deep breath. “You believe in a God who answers prayers and pours out blessings? Well, I do not! I prayed for children for ten years and I’ll not waste time praying again. You believe—very well, you pray! And if your Lord gives me children I will serve Him all of my remaining days! Now, if you will excuse me, I have an appointment to meet your son.”

With a whirl of her long skirts Laina stormed from the room. It took her several deep breaths and five minutes of pacing the hallway before she calmed down enough to join Elizabeth for their trip to the nursery.

“I’m afraid the girls are already napping, madam.” Anna Hammerfield glanced toward the open door a short distance from the rocker where she had been sitting doing needlework when Elizabeth and Laina entered the nursery. Soft, sleepy baby sounds emanated occasionally from the dimly lit interior of the adjoining bedroom. The nanny smiled. “But Master James is still awake.”

Elizabeth nodded. “Thank you, Anna.” She turned back to face Laina. “We’ll come back to see Sarah and Mary later, after dinner.” A soft, beautiful smile spread across her face. “For now, we’ll visit your new nephew.” She stepped through the open door and led the way across the small room to the crib against the far wall.

Laina caught her breath. “Oh, Elizabeth, he’s beautiful!” She smiled at the baby staring up at her and reached down to touch one small, perfect hand. “How do you do, James Justin Randolph? I’m your aunt Laina. And I’m very happy to meet you at last.”

The baby gurgled, gave her a toothless smile and waved his hands in the air. Laina’s heart hurt. So many emotions assailed her she couldn’t begin to sort them out—except two. Hunger and anger. Those two she recognized. She knew them well. They appeared every time she saw a mother and child. She took a deep breath and forced them back into the dark, empty place inside her.

“Would you like to hold him?”

“May I?” She couldn’t keep the longing out of her voice.

“Of course you may.” Elizabeth lifted her son, kissed his soft cheek, then tucked a blanket about him and placed him in Laina’s arms. “He likes to be rocked. The chair’s over there.” She nodded toward the corner. “I’ll be back in a few minutes. I have to speak with Anna.” She turned and walked out of the room.

Laina stared after her. What a thoughtful, caring, unselfish person Elizabeth was. How could she ever have thought her interested only in Justin’s money? She shook her head at the sudden flood of memories, then looked down at the baby in her arms. “You have a wonderful, wonderful mama and papa, James Justin. And a very foolish aunt.”

The baby gurgled an answer. Laina laughed, hugged him close and walked to the chair. The silky feel of his cheek against hers was more precious than anything she’d ever known. The sweet baby smell of him was priceless. She brushed her fingers through his soft, downy, dark curls and began to rock.

I was remembering in regard to your circumstances. I intend to do something about them…. The first step is to pray for guidance.

Laina tried, unsuccessfully, to close out Justin’s words, but the baby’s warm breath on her neck brought hope fluttering to life in her heart at thought of them. It drowned a moment later in an onrush of bitterness. Why shouldn’t Justin believe in prayer? He had his miracle.

Thaddeous Allen glanced at the youngster on the buggy seat beside him. The too-small, tattered clothes the boy wore provided little protection against the cold March air and not even the carriage robe was sufficient to warm him. He was shivering so hard it was a wonder his bones were still connected one to the other. “You might be warmer if you crouch down on the floor in front of the seat, Sam. You’ll be out of the wind down there.”

The boy shot him a look full of fear and distrust. “I’m not cold.”

The blatant lie wrenched at Thad’s heart. “You have my word, Sam—I won’t hand you over to the law.”

The boy gave him a curt nod and continued to stare straight ahead, jaw set. Thad let it go. Sam was going to stay where he could watch every move and change of direction the buggy made. His fear of the law was greater than his physical discomfort. And who could blame him? Since the orphans’ asylum had burned in January, the authorities had become harsh in their treatment of vagrant children, to deter them from stealing, now that they had no means of removing them from the streets.

A pang of concern shot through Thad. He’d given the boy his word he’d find a good home for him—it was the only way he could keep him from jumping out of Dan Pierson’s haymow and likely breaking every undernourished bone in his body when he’d been caught stealing eggs. But who would take him in?

Thad watched as the boy shifted his thin body and buried his scratched, filthy hands deeper beneath the lap rug. The Bauers? No, Martha had developed that cough. Thad frowned. He didn’t like the sound of that cough. And Martha had started losing weight. It was probably consumption. No, he couldn’t take the boy there. Where, then?

Thad frowned and sifted through his patients in his mind as he tugged on the reins to turn the horse onto Arch Street. Arthur and Betsy Monroe? The names brought a shot of hope surging through him. Arthur had told him only last month that Betsy was unhappy with no one to do for since their last boy had left home. Yes! They would be perfect.

Thad slanted another look at the youngster and shook his head. The boy was so filthy you couldn’t even tell the color of his hair, and Betsy was a stickler for cleanliness. Lord, let Betsy see this boy as You see him. Let her look on him with her heart, Lord, and not with her natural eyes. Let both Arthur and Betsy see right through the dirt and grime and downright surliness to the frightened child beneath and take him into their home and hearts. Amen.

“Look at you—skinny as a willow whip and covered with dirt and the good Lord alone knows what else! And those clothes—there’s no savin’ those clothes. Too small, anyway.”

She was going to keep him! Thad bit back a smile as Betsy Monroe put her hands on her hips and studied the small boy standing like a lump of stone in the center of her kitchen.

“Still, I reckon there ain’t nothin’ wrong with you some good food, some of Ben’s old clothes and a hot bath won’t put to rights.”

The boy jerked as if a whip had been laid to his flesh. “I heard about them bath things, an’ I ain’t gettin’ in no water!” The words spit from Sam’s mouth. He shot a panicked look at the outside door, and Thad casually stepped in front of it. The boy glared at him and swept his gaze the other way—toward the home’s interior. Arthur stood squarely in that doorway. Sam’s hands clenched into small fists. His chin jutted forward. “I ain’t gettin’ in no water—an’ you cain’t make me!”

Betsy nodded. “I ain’t figurin’ to. That’s your choice, Sam. Course, nobody sets to my table or sleeps in this house that ain’t respectable clean.” She stepped over to the woodstove and lifted the lid from a large iron pot. The rich, tantalizing aroma of a pot roast filled the kitchen. She picked up a long fork and poked around inside the pot. The smell increased. “Ah, nice and tender!” She smiled at her husband. “Lots of rich gravy for you to sop your bread in.”

Sam’s stomach growled. His Adam’s apple slid up and down his skinny throat as he swallowed hard.

Thad didn’t blame him. His own stomach was reminding him he hadn’t had time to eat today. He bit back a grin and watched in open admiration as the plump woman continued her exquisite form of blackmail.

Betsy turned her back on the boy and opened the pierced tin door of a pine cupboard. The smell of freshly baked bread wafted out. She pulled out a loaf, sliced it into thick slabs, then carried it and a small brown crock to the table.

“We’d be pleased if you’d stay and take supper with us, Dr. Allen. It’s been a space since you’ve visited. The boy can wait there by the door till you’ve eaten.” Betsy’s eyes twinkled as she looked up at him. “Do you like apple butter or plain cream butter?”

“I might could wash my hands.”

The grumbled, reluctant words were fairly dripping with saliva. Thad choked back a chuckle. Poor Sam—Betsy didn’t by so much as word or deed betray that she even heard him. She went right on as if he hadn’t spoken. “No matter, Doctor, we’ll have both.” She put a second crock on the table, then moved back to the stove, folded the hem of her blue apron and used it to lift an oblong crockery dish from the oven.

Thad’s stomach tightened at sight of the dark juices bubbling their way through a delicately browned crust. Blackberry cobbler! He took a long sniff of the heady aroma riding on the rising steam.

The cobbler proved too much for Sam. He jerked forward, staring at the dessert. “I ’low as how a bath—oncet—might be a good thing.”

Betsy Monroe nodded and smoothed her apron back in place. “The tub is in there.” She pointed to a small room that jutted out onto the back porch. “Go strip down to your altogether and climb in. Arthur will fetch you hot water and soap. I’ll set by dinner till you’ve finished. And mind you clean your hair and scrub behind your ears.”

She stared after Sam as he trudged to the little room. “Poor young’un, seems like he ain’t never had a mite of love or lookin’ after, but we’ll soon take care of that.” She looked up and gave him a radiant smile. “May the Lord bless you for the work you’ve done this day, Dr. Allen. Now, take your ease—I need to go fetch some of Ben’s old clothes.” She swiped at her eyes with her apron and hurried from the room.

Thad pulled out one of the plank-bottom chairs surrounding the table, lowered his tall, lean body onto it and directed his attention toward the sound of wildly splashing water accompanied by grunts and groans of protest coming from the little room. A grin tugged at his lips. Sounds as if Arthur has his hands full.

“I ain’t gettin’ my hair wet! You can’t make—”

Thad burst into laughter at the glubbing, choking sounds that followed Sam’s pronouncement. That boy was learning about cleanliness the hard way. He rose to his feet as Betsy came rushing back into the kitchen, her arms full of clothes.

There was a flurry of splashing.

“Mercy! Sounds as if there’s quite a struggle goin’ on in there. I’m not sure my berry cobbler can overcome this.” Betsy’s cheeks dimpled as she smiled up at him.

Thad chuckled. “I think that cobbler can win out over anything. And I’m pretty sure Arthur will prove victorious in this particular battle.” He nodded toward the clothes. “Why don’t you give me those. I’ll take them in to Sam and—” He jerked his head around as a howl of sheer fury came from the other room.

“I ain’t usin’ no soap, you jolt-headed, da—!” There was more splashing, choking, coughing, followed by Arthur’s calm voice. “We don’t use them words in this house. Here’s the soap.”

Betsy grinned and handed him the clothes. “Sounds like Sam’s having a hard time—poor tyke.” Her grin turned into laughter. “I’d better give him a double serving.” She turned to the stove. Thad’s mouth watered as she picked up the long fork and poked around in the iron pot again. He pivoted on his heel and headed for the little room. He’d been so busy, he hadn’t eaten for twenty-four hours and he’d be horsewhipped if he wouldn’t scrub Sam himself for a plate of Betsy’s pot roast!

Chapter Three

“Why, Trudy, it’s lovely.”

Elizabeth’s maid smiled. “I’m pleased you like it, mum. Will there be anything else?”

“No. That’s all for now.”

“Very good, mum.” Trudy put the hairbrush down on the dressing table, bobbed an awkward curtsy and left the bedroom.

Laina turned her head from side to side, studying her new hairdo in the mirror. It looked wonderful. Whoever would have thought that clumsy young woman possessed such a talent? Annette could take instruction from Trudy. Laina laughed at the thought of her French maid’s reaction to that scenario and lifted her hand to touch the dark brown curls that tumbled from the knot of hair at the crown of her head to her shoulders. The style would take some getting used to, but it was definitely flattering.

Laina pursed her lips and leaned closer to the mirror. Without the fringe of bangs Annette had insisted were all the rage, her face looked more…more what? Dramatic? Yes, that was it. Her eyes seemed larger, more luminous, their dark blue color striking, their long, thick lashes arresting. And her high cheekbones appeared more pronounced. Her full lips more noticeable. Oh, dear, that wasn’t good!

Laina frowned and rose to her feet. Her mouth was too wide, and with the natural wine color of her lips it looked enormous! She sighed, snuffed the candles and headed for the door. At least she had good teeth. She was thankful for that. And for the borrowed dress. She smiled and brushed her hand over the pale green velvet fabric that whispered softly as she walked. Today she would choose the fabrics and patterns for her new gowns. After she visited with the children.

“And who is this?” Laina stared down at the huge black dog looking up at her. The monster’s white-tipped tail wagged back and forth like a metronome.

“My dog—Mr. Buffy.” Sarah wrapped her arms about the animal’s neck.

The wagging tail increased speed. Laina laughed. “How do you do, Mr. Buffy? I’m pleased to make your acquaintance.”

The dog gave one short bark and sat down. Sarah plopped down beside him, giggling as he licked her cheek. “Mr. Buffy loves me.”

“I can see that.”

“Doggy.” Mary toddled over and patted Mr. Buffy’s neck, then giggled and stuck her finger in his ear. The dog gave a shake of his great head, toppling her to the floor. She let out a startled cry and lifted her arms.

Laina scooped her up. “You’re all right, Mary.”

“Doggy.” Mary’s lower lip pouted out and she pointed an accusing, pudgy little finger at the big black brute looking up at them.

Laina laughed and squeezed her tight. “Mr. Buffy didn’t mean to knock you down, precious. You tickled his ear…like this.” She feathered her finger along the toddler’s tiny ear. Mary giggled and ducked her head, sliding her little arms around Laina’s neck as far as they could reach and holding on tight. Laina’s heart swelled with longing.

“Tory.”

“Tory?” Laina shot Elizabeth a wordless plea for help.

“She wants you to read her a story.” Elizabeth laughed and shook her head. “The little extortionist asks for one whenever she thinks someone feels sorry for her.”

“Oh.” Laina grinned down at the toddler in her arms. “Aren’t you the clever one?”

“They all are.” Elizabeth rose from the rocking chair, handed her sleeping son to Anna Hammerfield and took Mary into her arms. “No story now, Mary. We have an appointment at the dressmaker’s. We’ll read a story later.” She nuzzled the ticklish spot at the base of the toddler’s neck.

Mary giggled and squirmed. “Mama.” She hugged Elizabeth’s neck, then twisted around and pointed down. “Doggy.”

“All right.” Elizabeth put the toddler down. “Watch her, Mr. Buffy.”

The dog barked once and turned his massive head toward Mary. Laina felt a tug on her hand and looked down. “What is it, Sarah?”

“Do you like licorice?”

“Licorice? Why, yes, I do.” The little girl beamed. Laina laughed and looked at Elizabeth. “Let me guess—a polite extortionist?”

“Exactly.” Elizabeth grinned and reached down to rest her hand on Sarah’s hair.

Laina went down on her knees and took hold of the little girl’s hands. “I think I shall bring some licorice home. We could share it. Would you like that?”

Sarah nodded, gave her a shy smile, then turned and buried her face in Elizabeth’s long skirt.

The afternoon sun was trying its best, but there was still a decided chill in the March air. Laina shivered. The blue velvet coat and matching “jockey’s hat” bonnet she’d borrowed from Elizabeth didn’t fully protect her from the cold.

“I hope you aren’t overdoing it, Laina.” Elizabeth’s brow creased with concern. “Perhaps we should have listened to Justin and had Madame Duval come to the house. Shall I tell Daniel to return home? We—”

“No, no, Elizabeth!” Laina turned toward her sister-in-law. “It was only a momentary chill. I’m fine. And it’s so wonderful to be going out among people again it’s well worth a few shivers.”

Elizabeth laughed at Laina’s vehemence. “As you wish.”

“Oh, look.” Laina leaned closer to the carriage window as they rode by Twiggs Manor. “Abigail’s house looks so lonely and…and sad.”

Elizabeth glanced at the stately, three-story brick mansion. “It is sad. Justin hasn’t decided what to do with it. He can’t bring himself to sell it to strangers, so it sits empty.”

“What a shame. It’s a beautiful house. And the furnishings are wonderful. Abigail had impeccable taste.”

“Yes, she did.” Elizabeth leaned back and blinked tears from her eyes. “I still find it hard to believe she’s gone from us. She was such a strong personality, the memory of it lingers.”

“Strong?” Laina shot a sidelong look at Elizabeth and smiled. “Don’t you mean acerbic?”

Elizabeth laughed at Laina’s dry tone. “Abigail would be pleased by that description. But she was also kind, generous and very wise.”

Laina recognized the sorrow in Elizabeth’s voice too well. “You miss her.”

“Yes…very much. I only knew her a short time, but Abigail was the best friend I’ve ever had. She believed in me when your brother thought me an adulteress and murderer.”

Laina shook her head. “To see you and Justin together today, one would never think your relationship had such a stormy beginning.”

“It was stormy, all right. Justin went around looking like a thundercloud most of the time, and I shivered and shook, waiting for lightning to strike.” Elizabeth’s smile died. “And then it did strike—in the form of Reginald Burton-Smythe.”

She shuddered, then looked at Laina. Her smile returned. “But God turned what Reginald meant for evil to good—exactly as His word promises.”

Laina held back a frown at the mention of God and changed the subject. “And now you have James Justin.”

“Yes. Now we have James Justin. Another blessing from the Lord.”

The smile Elizabeth gave her radiated happiness. Laina forced aside the envy that flooded through her. “And Sarah talks.” She shook her head. “I can’t believe she’s improved so rapidly she no longer speaks with a lisp. And Mary blackmails everyone. Justin’s stepdaughters, well, rather, your new daughters are a delightful handful.”

Elizabeth laughed. “I’m afraid so. Mary is a bit like Abigail in her personality. She’s very strong-minded and does not like to be thwarted.” She glanced out the window as the carriage rolled to a halt. “Here we are.” She smiled at Laina. “Prepare yourself. Madame Duval, also, is strong-minded.”

Laina looked down at the velvet gown she had borrowed from Elizabeth. “No matter. Her designs are lovely. I shall look forward to the challenge.”

“Elizabeth, look at these fabrics!” Laina followed Madame Duval into a large room and stopped dead, gazing at the bolts of cloth filling the shelves along the side walls. She glanced at her sister-in-law and laughed. “I feel like a starving man released at a feast. I don’t know what to choose first.” She moved forward, touching the materials, feeling the cool smoothness of satins, the softness of velveteens. But it was the colors, the wonderful splash of varied colors that enchanted her.

“Oh, I must have this one!” She paused in front of a soft sateen in a deep shade of bronze that seemed to glow with light. “And this!” She stepped to the next shelf. “Look, Elizabeth, it’s the very color of spring.” She pointed at the apple-green pongee in front of her and moved on to choose a midnight-blue linen as the shopgirl following in her wake placed the indicated fabrics on a large table sitting in the middle of the room.