A Return, A Reunion, A Wedding

If Jayne hadn’t rung Jules...if Jayne hadn’t asked her to ride to the pub...her sister would be alive and well today. If only she’d screamed loud enough. Fast enough.

The sports car had been moving so fast when Jules had whipped round the corner on her bicycle. Jayne’s screams had stayed lodged in her throat. When her sister had been pronounced brain-dead it had been as if they would never stop sounding inside her own head.

As best she could, Jayne conjured up a smile and put away the massage cream, rubbing the residue into her hands. The tingle of the minty gel reminded her of how she’d felt when, just for a nanosecond, Sam had reached forward to put his hand on the small of her back as they’d left his office—until he’d caught her noticing and pulled it back. Fire then ice.

‘Apparently it’s not much of a summer as far as the weather is concerned. They’re up in the farthest reaches of the Scottish isles.’

Maggie pulled a face. ‘I couldn’t live up there. Although I suppose the communities must be close, what with the weather and all. I was talking to the McTavishes—’

Jayne lifted her brow questioningly.

‘They’re the ones who are doing the house-swap with your parents. Really nice couple. They love my kids. Said they don’t have grandkids of their own, so they always pounce on a chance to play with them. Mrs McTavish has been teaching Connor how to sketch. It’s pretty cool!’

It sounded cool. Just the sort of thing her father would have done with her own children if she’d lived down the road in The Old Barn with Sam, as they’d planned. Bundled a child upon his knee and pulled out a huge sketchpad, as he had done with each of them. Jules had taken to it like a duck to water, but Jayne’s artistry had always lain much more firmly in the surgical field. In fixing things.

That was why she spent all her spare time in the other hospital departments. No way would she ever again fall into the ‘helpless maiden’ category. Not after that horrible day.

Kneeling on the pavement next to Jules after she’d been hit, not caring that her own knees were scraped raw, Jayne had felt so helpless. She’d done CPR, but her sister’s injuries had been so severe the only thing she’d been able to do was keep her heart beating until someone else had told her otherwise. There had been no way she was going to call her own sister’s death.

She hadn’t even thought of becoming a surgeon at that point. It had been general practice with a specialty in paediatrics all the way. Sam would do the ‘oldies’. She’d look after the little ones. And between the two of them they’d take care of everyone ese. It had been a perfect plan for a perfect life.

‘Woo-hoo? Earth to Jayne?’ Maggie pulled back and then suddenly went wide-eyed, as if a lightbulb had gone on inside her head.

‘You aren’t being weird about the cricket because of Sam, are you?’

Jayne made a scoffing noise. ‘No.’

‘Ohmigawd, you totally are.’

She wasn’t. Okay. She was. A bit. But what she felt for Sam was just one piece of a bigger puzzle. Something had been ripped open inside her when she’d called Stella’s time of death. Something she’d thought had healed.

Maggie gave her belly a double-handed rub. ‘You’re not still in love with him, are you?’

Jayne did not dignify the question with an answer. Of course a part of her was. Always would be. Their’s had been a love that ran so deep it could never be completely erased. Even if she’d told him otherwise.

‘Jayne...’ Maggie’s voice held a warning note. ‘If you’re here to win Sam’s heart again you should tread very, very carefully. The man’s been through a lot. His divorce was only a year ago, and of course he’s had to cope with his mum passing. He’s strong, of course. He’s Sam. But—’

‘That’s not why I’m here,’ Jayne snapped, a bit too defensively.

She looked into her friend’s eyes and saw twenty years of friendship shining back at her. Why was she lying? She knew why she was back. She was here because calling Stella’s time of death had made her feel as if she’d killed her sister all over again.

Pain. Anguish. Guilt.

Feelings she wasn’t meant to be having. Not as a top surgeon, anyway. She’d thought placing that heart in Stella’s body would salve the torment she’d been carrying with her all these years. When Stella’s body had rejected the heart Jayne had felt as if it had rejected her too. All of which boiled down to one simple truth: if Jayne didn’t find a way to make genuine amends for her sister’s death, and the emotional wreckage she’d left in her wake, she could not continue as a surgeon. And that was a future she was completely unwilling to imagine.

Maggie tipped her head to the side, looking not unlike the twelve-year-old version of herself who had befriended Jayne after a particularly rough round of netball. ‘Whatever it is that’s brought you back... I just want you to know I’m glad you’re here. If you ever need to talk...’

It was an offer Maggie had given her countless times. But the only person Jayne had come close to confessing the full story to was Sam. No matter how close she felt to Mags, he’d always been the sounding board she’d needed. He was wise beyond his years. Always gave her perspective on things without making her feel stupid.

When she’d handed him back his ring she’d seen every emotion in his eyes. Pain. Anger. Hurt. Frustration. Disbelief. But instead of lashing out he’d leant in and given her cheek the softest kiss.

‘No matter what it is you’re going through,’ he’d said, ‘I want you to know there is a light at the end of the tunnel. You may not see it now, but you will find the way. You’ll survive this. Believe me when I say you are so much stronger than you think you are.’

If she had believed him would they be together now?

Back then it had seemed impossible. The only path she’d seen was to pursue her sister’s dreams with blinkered, exacting energy. A path so narrow there had been no room for anyone else on it.

It had taken Stella’s death to make her realise just how wrong she’d been. No amount of lives saved would ever bring her sister back.

She forced herself to pop on a smile and clapped her hands together. ‘Honestly—I’m good. Just...you know...it’s always a little bit weird seeing an ex, right?’

Maggie gave an apologetic shrug and automatically gave her wedding ring, now hanging from a chain around her neck, a quick rub. She wouldn’t know. She and Nate had married pretty much straight out of school, before he’d headed off to boot camp. Theirs had been a very similar romance to Jayne and Sam’s. Childhood sweethearts making good on their teenage dreams. Well... Not so similar. But Jayne was happy for them.

She cocked her head to the side at the sound of children laughing. ‘Why don’t I round up those kids of yours and get us to the cricket ground?’

Maggie peered at her for another moment, obviously trying to decide whether or not she should try and force Jayne to talk, and then thought better of it. ‘Let’s do that. The doctor said I was supposed to keep my calorie consumption up—so bring on the burgers!’

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