The Family She Needs

‘Kids do tend to grow and change quite a bit in a year.’ She placed two more mugs on the bench. ‘I presume you’re joining us in our hot chocolate moment?’

‘Might as well.’

There hadn’t been a hint of sting in her words, and yet the guilt they caused tightened his gut enough to ache. He hadn’t been the best uncle, or brother, over the years. He knew that more than anyone.

‘I would’ve been back nearly two months ago except for an exceptional circumstance.’

Why justify himself to this woman? It was none of her business. Except …

‘I’m sorry you’ve had to shoulder all the responsibility for Mickey since James and Maria died.’ Not to mention the medical centre that had been James’s pride and joy, and had seemed too dull to him.

She shrugged. ‘No worries.’

‘Understatement your thing, is it?’

This house had had more than its share of problems due to lack of maintenance over the years. The lawyers had made sure he knew about every last fault. At least that was something he could, and would, fix. He had an appointment at two o’clock to talk to a real estate agent and get the property on the market. Getting it up to scratch was part of his agenda over the next few weeks.

‘Not that I’m aware.’ Karina opened a tin from the pantry and placed some cookies on a plate. ‘I’m sorry you missed the funeral. We held off as long as possible, but no one could track you down.’

Wow, she had a way of ramping up the guilt without even trying. His gut wanted to regurgitate that marshmallow.

‘There are often days—weeks in the rainy season— when all contact with the outside world is lost.’ He wasn’t going to mention that, where he’d been at that critical time, contact with anyone had been impossible.

A small hand rested on his forearm, orange-tipped fingers splaying lightly on his shirtsleeve. Each fingertip was a heat source, tripping through his chilled body and reminding him of easier times. Carefree times.

She said quietly, ‘I wasn’t having a poke at you. I understand the difficulties. James mentioned how hard it could be to get hold of you in Nigeria.’

If only the reason had been that simple. His eyes locked with hers, saw nothing but genuine sympathy there. Sympathy that should be tightening his shoulders and making him prove he didn’t need it but was instead undermining his determination to remain aloof and do what was needed as quickly as possible before he headed back to a world he understood.

But he didn’t understand it. Not any more. Strange how the easy look in Karina’s eyes made him long for a break, here, in this quiet town where people really were safe. To be able to take each day slowly, get his body back in shape, his head thinking straight, and to get to know his nephew. Time even to get to know Karina Brown.

Jerking his arm away, he snapped, ‘If it had been at all possible to get here I would’ve.’ He drew in a deep breath, tried for calm. ‘But it wasn’t possible.’

If he’d stepped one foot outside his prison hut his body would have been riddled with bullets and he’d have been left to the flies and the vultures.

Hot milk splashed on the bench as he poured the liquid into the mugs.

Karina deftly wiped up the spill before dropping two marshmallows on top of each drink. ‘Mickey, sit up at the table. You can have one cookie before lunch.’

She perched on a chair beside the boy, holding her mug in both hands, her gaze thoughtful. Was she trying to believe he’d been telling the truth?

‘How did you get on at the bank?’ he asked, in an attempt to distract her from his apparent failings as an uncle.

‘How did you know that’s where I was?’ She shifted on her chair, began twisting the mug back and forth between her hands.

‘Jonty mentioned it when I introduced myself.’

‘That surprises me.’ She sighed, then stood up abruptly. ‘I’d better go see if I’m needed before surgery closes for lunch. Keep an eye on Mickey, will you?’

Oh, no, you don’t.

Logan cut off her mad dash by taking her arm and holding on until she turned to look up at him. ‘I’ve been over there. Everything’s under control.’

‘You checked up on my surgery?’

Could those eyes get any bigger? ‘Isn’t it our surgery?’ he asked quietly. ‘I wasn’t checking up on anything. I was introducing myself.’

The air hissed over her bottom lip as she sagged in on herself. Pulling her arm away, she dropped onto the chair she’d hurriedly vacated.

‘Yes, I went to the bank. No, they won’t lend me the money I need to buy you out. Any further questions?’ she snapped.

He lifted out another chair, flicked it around to straddle it, and folded his arms over the top. ‘Why do you want to buy me out? Doesn’t it make sense to sell this rambling old place, with its huge grounds, and buy a new, comfortable, easily kept home?’

‘No. It. Doesn’t.’

The words fell like heavy weights between them.

‘This is Mickey’s home, the place where he remembers his mum and dad. I will not take him away from here. He gets upset enough as it is some days.’

‘I see.’

‘Do you?’ Those perfectly shaped eyebrows lifted. ‘What about the surgery? If we sell the house, where’s that going to be relocated?’

‘I’d have thought that’d be the last thing you’d want to be bothered with. I know you struggle to keep a GP full-time.’

She could have told him what he already knew, that she’d managed with locums so far. But she didn’t. Instead she went for his throat. ‘Unless you have plans to take over?’

Logan stood up so fast the chair knocked against the table. ‘Are you out of your mind?’

Him? Working in a small town, dealing with the everyday stuff of colds and stomach bugs and high blood pressure? Signing on for ever?

‘That would not work. Believe me.’

He strode over to stare out of the window onto the drive, with its hole that needed repairing, and swore silently. Not in a million years. He wanted to be with people who had no choices, who were forever grateful for any little help they got. People who came and went so quickly they didn’t cling to his life.

Mickey banged his empty mug on the table. ‘I want to play with Mr Grumpy.’

Karina didn’t move, almost as though she hadn’t heard Mickey. Even if the neighbours probably had.

Logan turned. ‘Who’s Mr Grumpy?’

‘He teaches me things.’ Mickey slid off the chair and picked up his mug to bang it on the bench. ‘Doesn’t he, Karina?’

‘Yes, he does, sweetheart.’ She stood up. ‘And I should’ve changed Jonty’s dressing before now.’

Definitely looking for an excuse to escape him.

‘Can it wait a few more minutes and I’ll come with you?’ When she looked at him with astonishment, he hastened to add, ‘I take it Jonty and Mr Grumpy are one and the same.’

Karina’s lips twitched. And sent his hormones into a little spasm. She really was seriously distracting.

She told him, ‘Yes.’ And then, turning to Mickey, said, ‘Mr Grumpy should be in the potting shed, planting the tomato seeds. If he’s not you come straight back here and we’ll find him together. Okay?’ She held her hand up, palm out.

Mickey high-fived it. ‘Okey-dokey, hokey-pokey.’

Logan watched his nephew racing from the room and felt his heart stir just a tiny bit. Having Down syndrome wasn’t holding the kid back from enjoying himself.

‘Does he understand fully what happened to his parents?’

Sadness filled Karina’s eyes. ‘As much as a kid his age can. Sometimes he asks when Daddy’s coming home from work, or if Mummy’s going to make his dinner. There are nights when I find him crying into his pillow. But then I’ve found him doing that when he’s lost his favourite toy, so I could be completely wrong and he hasn’t got a clue why he now lives with me.’

‘From what my parents told me, you had a lot to do with him before the accident.’

Not a stranger, like him. Guilt raised its head again. Mickey hadn’t remembered him this morning. No surprise, considering he’d been about three the last time Logan had flown in for a quick visit. Thank goodness James had had the good sense to make Karina joint guardian with him. Even if she wasn’t family in any DNA kind of way, the boy had a firm constant in his life and wasn’t coping with a man who preferred working and living in exotic places. Make that who had used to prefer.

Mickey needed security—he needed the same people in his life day in and day out, to see the same kids at playgroup every time he went. He certainly wouldn’t get that tagging along with his uncle to desolate places on the African continent. Besides, that wasn’t an option after what had happened on his last tour. Far too dangerous.

Karina spoke quietly. ‘I’d been working here for a few months when the accident happened.’ She blinked furiously. ‘Mickey and I were great mates even then.’

‘Coming from Auckland to such a small place must’ve taken some getting used to.’

‘It was refreshing.’ She picked at a spot on the table. ‘Maria and I met in Auckland while doing our nursing training and became firm friends. Inseparable at times.’

She raised those beautiful eyes to his face and the sadness spilling out made him want to wrap her up in his arms and hold her tight.

He didn’t. Because he mightn’t be able to let her go. Because he needed to be held, too. Because he should have been here for Mickey, and even for Karina.

‘You were Maria’s bridesmaid. I vaguely recall a wedding photo.’

‘Hardly a bridesmaid when those two went out to lunch and came back married. They dragged me along, saying they had a surprise.’

‘There was a guy there as well.’

‘The law requires two witnesses.’

The words were flat. Her face had gone blank, her eyes expressionless.

The devil got hold of his tongue. ‘Who was he? I didn’t recognise him as one of James’s friends.’

He’d recently gone weeks without talking to anyone, bar demanding to be freed, and since then he’d apparently lost the ability to be circumspect.

‘My ex-husband.’

Never had he heard so much emotion in two little words. Anger, disappointment, despair, hurt, and a whole lot more. Something beyond his shoulder seemed to fascinate her for a long, drawn-out moment. Then she blinked.

‘We split very suddenly and I wanted a change of environment. Staying on in Auckland no longer worked for me.’ She continued spilling her guts. ‘About that time Maria decided to be a stay-at-home mum and asked me to fill her place at the surgery. I think she made that up, because she’d been managing very nicely until then. But I arrived here within days and I’m not likely to leave again.’

‘Only now you’ve got a wee boy.’

And a big heart. She didn’t appear to be struggling with everything she did, and yet her days had to be close to chaotic at times—especially given that Mickey needed a lot of attention with his condition.

‘A boy I’d do anything for.’

He got the message loud and clear. Don’t mess with Karina. Or Mickey.

‘So what do you do for a social life in Motueka?’ Might as well ask anything that came into his brain while he had her talking.

Karina shrugged. ‘Friday night drinks at a bar on High Street with a friend is more than enough for me. As I’ve no intention of marrying again I’m not joining the dating circuit.’

Unbelievably honest.

‘I can understand that.’

Way too much information, Logan. He knew from the slight widening of her eyes that she’d read between the lines of his simple statement and understood he was as uninterested in finding a soul mate as she was. He’d seen far too many relationships bite the dust in Africa. Commitment to the health organisation left little time for anyone or anything else.

Karina said, ‘You want to sell this place?’

She was forthright. He’d give her that.

‘Yes.’

He’d be the same.

‘Why?’

‘I’ve seen the builder’s report the lawyers have had done. This place needs major repairs and maintenance, which won’t come cheap—especially for a property nearly eighty years old. A comfortable house with no financial worries for you seems a good idea. Though what you’d do for jumping puddles I’m not sure,’ he added, forcing a smile.

A smile that she chose to ignore as she stood up, stretching as tall as possible on her toes, which still left her well short of his chin. ‘Haven’t you left something out?’

‘Like what?’

Those eyes that had entranced him now appeared to be ready to slice him to shreds. He was about to get an earful. Her cheeks were reddening, her mouth tightening.

‘The bit where you will then be free to fly off into the sunset, knowing there’s nothing here for you to worry yourself over. Your nephew will be well cared for, and he won’t miss out on a thing because there won’t be any repairs to pay for. You’ll have done your bit for your family.’

His family? Yes, she certainly knew how to twist the knife. As he opened his mouth to explain that his nephew was better off being with her, she cut him off and added to his distress.

‘I will never sign any sale agreement you draw up. Never. Get it?’

Her forefinger stabbed his chest—hard. Strange how he wanted to wrap his hand around that finger and kiss the tip.

She hadn’t finished. ‘This is Mickey’s home until the day he doesn’t need one any more.’

She couldn’t have put it more bluntly than that. Yet he sensed a well of emotion and need behind her statement. What for, or why, he had yet to figure out. He’d also have to work harder on persuading her that his way was best for all of them. And the reasons she believed were not necessarily behind his thinking. Though she wasn’t entirely wrong about those either.

CHAPTER THREE

OF ALL THE stubborn, thoughtless, selfish men in the world, Logan Pascale had to be top of the pile. Karina bit down on the words threatening to spill off her tongue and headed out to the shed to find Jonty. The stubborn, thoughtless, selfish man followed her.

‘I need to replace that dressing for you,’ she informed the older man down on his knees trying to unscrew the broken handle of a spade. She’d do her best to ignore Logan for now.

‘They don’t make these handles like they used to,’ Jonty grunted.

Beside the old man Mickey sat on his butt in spilled potting mix. ‘I’m helping Mr Grumpy.’ He reverently held a pair of pliers in his hands.

Jonty didn’t look up as he said, ‘I don’t need the dressing changed. There’s nothing wrong with this one.’

The bolt suddenly flicked free and spun across the floor.

Mickey crawled after it. ‘I got it.’

Karina squatted beside Jonty. ‘You don’t want to get an infection.’

‘Pish. I’m healthy. No infection’s coming near me.’ The second bolt was giving him as much trouble as the first.

Logan hunkered down on his haunches opposite them. ‘How’d this break?’

Go away and leave us be. Her teeth snapped shut, sending vibrations through her skull.

‘Damned rocks,’ Jonty griped.

Karina wasn’t giving in. ‘Let me see that arm, please.’

The old man glanced at Logan. ‘Women, eh? Bossy creatures—think they know best.’

Logan laughed: a warm sound that briefly lifted her black mood.

Then he won points by saying to Jonty, ‘I know what you mean, but in this instance I think Karina’s right. An infection in your arm could be debilitating for some time. You might have to delay finishing that digging.’

Jonty’s knuckles were white as he tried to budge the bolt. ‘I guess.’

‘Here. Can I get that?’ Logan asked in an offhand manner that made it easy for Jonty to accept his offer.

‘You do that while Miss Bossy, here, does her nurse routine.’

Smothering a smile, Karina removed the dressing and cleaned Jonty’s wound. It would have been better doing it inside, but Jonty would never agree. ‘It’s looking good. You were very lucky not to have that spike go any deeper.’

‘I got two dozen eggs this morning,’ he muttered.

Good, there’d be some spare to trade for fresh bread at the bakehouse down the road. ‘They’re laying well, considering it’s winter.’

‘There you go.’ Logan handed back the screwdriver and a few screws.

‘You look like your brother.’ Mr Grumpy squeezed Logan’s shoulder. ‘Sorry about James, lad. We miss him and Maria around here.’

Weren’t men supposed to be reticent? Mr Grumpy had said more words in the last ten minutes than he often uttered in a whole day.

Karina taped on the new dressing and gathered up the old one. ‘There you go.’

‘Thanks, lass.’

‘Is Mickey okay with you until I’ve got lunch ready?’

Jonty rolled his eyes and took the spade minus its handle back from Logan.

‘That’s a yes, then.’

She thought Logan would remain in the shed, but he was quickly on his feet to go with her.

The problem with walking towards the house after having heard Logan mention maintenance was that she looked hard at the weatherboard walls and window frames. The paint was peeling in places, and some of the boards did show signs of rot. The putty around the glass panes had cracked and in places had fallen out completely.

‘Yeah, it does need an overhaul,’ she admitted grudgingly under her breath.

The guy had supersensitive hearing. ‘A major undertaking, involving a lot of time and effort to restore the whole building.’

She spun around, skidding on the sodden grass. His hand quickly caught her arm, steadied her, then instantly dropped away.

Rubbing the place where those strong fingers had gripped, she raised her head and told him, ‘Think about how wonderful this old building could look with a new coat of paint and those windows picked out in a shade of green to fit in with the grounds.’

The large grounds in which the lawns were mowed once a month, whether they needed it or not, summer and winter. And in which the trees should have been pruned and the wayward hedge needed cutting off at the roots.

Logan’s eyebrows were in danger of disappearing under that mop of dark hair. His flat mouth quirked up into an annoying smile. ‘You have a wonderful imagination.’

‘What are your plans? Are you in town for long?’

‘As long as it takes to make you see reason and get this place on the market.’

He didn’t half labour the point. The breath she dragged in chilled her bottom teeth. ‘Then you’ll be here a long time.’

Could she ask him to leave his half of the money in the property as a loan to her? No, she couldn’t. She’d only just met him, but she was over his incredulous glances already.

‘I’ll buy a lotto ticket tomorrow.’

‘Why not go easy on yourself and accept that selling is the right thing to do?’

Logan held open the back door and indicated she should go ahead of him. Heading directly to the bathroom, she dropped the small bag containing Jonty’s old dressing into the bin. Her head spun with retorts but she managed to keep the brakes on her tongue. He didn’t—and wouldn’t—have a clue how important a refuge this house was to her. Here, she was in charge and her opinion counted. Here, her family and her ex didn’t tell her what to do with her days.

Back in the kitchen, she got out the bread and margarine, some hardboiled eggs and lettuce, and began making sandwiches. The clock didn’t stop for Logan. She needed to get back to work.

When he parked his butt on the corner of the table, looking as if he had no intention of moving until he got his point across, she knew a moment of fear. What if he won this crazy battle and the house was sold out from under her? Would it be so bad to live in another house in Motueka? Yes, it would. Jonty wouldn’t be next door, griping and grumbling at her while he watered her vegetables, or complaining that he hated boiled carrots more than tinned peas and yet eating every last mouthful on his plate whenever she cooked his dinner—which was most nights else he’d starve. He’d never learned to cook; his late wife had been old-school and believed that was her role.

Another argument against Logan’s plan to sell was that the medical centre would have to shift. Or, worse, close down, forcing the patients she’d come to know to transfer to other centres.

Surreptitiously studying this stranger as she spread margarine, it shocked her to realise that he looked as though he belonged here. He had every right to be here. No denying that, much as she wanted to. But looking as if he fitted right in—that was too much to absorb. So she wouldn’t. She’d carry on the fight in the hope that eventually she’d get it through his very handsome skull that she meant every word she uttered.

Starting with: ‘You honestly think I should walk away from this?’ She waved her hand in the direction of the surgery through the wall. ‘Tell all the patients, “Sorry, but we’re not interested in looking out for you any more”? People don’t like change, Logan.’

‘Are you sure it’s not you that dislikes change?’

This man went straight for the heart of the matter every time.

She pretended she hadn’t heard him. ‘Especially the older folk. They know their doctor and nurse, and they trust them to know their backgrounds without having to delve into files for an answer about who their son is or where their grandchildren live. That sort of thing distresses them.’

‘Except the current locum’s only been here three months and plans on leaving within the next three. Where’s the continuity in that?’

He didn’t miss a trick, which sucked big-time.

‘I won’t change my mind.’ Her voice was rising and she didn’t care. This man riled her.

‘I’m getting the picture.’ He folded his arms over his chest, the movement diverting her gaze from his inscrutable face to those muscles that underscored the polo-necked jersey he wore.

‘So am I,’ she muttered, not quite sure whether she was referring to his stubbornness or his mouth-watering chest.

Either of them was a problem. Logan was nothing like his brother in physical shape or appearance. James had been of average height and had carried a bit more weight than was healthy. But he’d had an open face and oodles of kindness and generosity. She wasn’t sure where Logan was with those characteristics.

‘Where are you staying while you’re in Motueka?’

‘Here. That’s if you don’t kick me out on the street. I like the spare room at the back of the house.’

Wanting to say no to that idea didn’t mean she could.

‘There’s no space to swing a cat in there.’ It was tiny and filled with cartons that needed to be gone through. ‘It’s also an ice box, being so far from the fire in the lounge and the heat pump in the hall.’

But she knew nothing about this man.

‘It will suit me perfectly.’

‘What’s wrong with the room next to Mickey’s? It’s bigger and warmer.’

Why make him comfortable? If he didn’t like the room he might leave earlier than planned.

‘I figure I’ll be out of your hair down there.’ His eyes zeroed in on the sandwich she was making. Avoiding eye contact? ‘I noticed all the cartons. I’ll shift them into the other bedroom after lunch.’

‘They’re full of James and Maria’s personal belongings. I haven’t had the gumption to go through them. Anyway, I thought you should be the one to deal with James’s stuff.’

And I’ll keep putting off sorting through Maria’s until finally I can do it without instantly bursting into tears. If only I could throw everything away untouched.

‘I probably should.’ Logan sounded equally reluctant to tackle that issue. Which she couldn’t fault.

‘I’ll try to get around to it before I head away again.’

Since Logan seemed intent on steamrollering her opposition to selling they’d be at loggerheads the whole time and he’d probably be glad to leave sooner rather than later. Behind her back she crossed her fingers.

‘The wardrobe’s locked. It’s the only way to keep the door from bursting open and spilling files and books across the room.’ She tried one last time. ‘You sure you don’t want the other room?’