Cowboy Courage

And Cole needed more than a quick roll in the hay, no matter how dynamic it promised to be. He had a strong sense of morality. And a one-rainy-night stand wasn’t something he wanted or needed.

But a growing case of lust argued otherwise.

After a lunch of sliced cheese, apples and crackers, Laurie spent a lazy afternoon curled up on the sofa, reading a murder mystery she’d found on a bookshelf near the fireplace. The room, darkened by storm clouds that hid a setting sun, gave a somber and somewhat eerie ambiance to the story.

Several times she had to remind herself that she was safe within the warmth of Cole McAdams’s home. Closing the book’s cover, she let it rest upon her lap as she scanned the room. Unlike the estate she and Daniel had leased, this house had a personality of its own. Even without electricity, Laurie rather enjoyed the semi-rugged living conditions. She wished the peaceful exile would last forever, but knew it wouldn’t.

Soon, when she had pondered her choices and prepared to live with the consequences of her decision, she would return to California. But she had more to consider than her feelings about a disappointing relationship. As far as she was concerned, her engagement was over. That choice had been made when she learned of Daniel’s affair with Denise, but her concerns ran much deeper than Daniel Walker. For, she had also left El Corazón de los Angeles, the Heart of the Angels, a foundation she had developed.

Laurie had fought long and hard to create a homeless shelter in the inner city of Los Angeles. She’d found an old, abandoned warehouse that she was convinced could be brought up to code and transformed into a temporary shelter for single mothers and their children. A place where women could receive job counseling, and their children could be tutored. Where defeated spirits could find hope and pride.

It was a dream she’d worked hard to transform to reality, a dream based on her own early years. Looking back, Laurie knew life had been tough and frightening, at least for her mom. But a mother’s love could blind a child to the harsh realities life presented. Laurie wanted to save other women and children from the same cruel fate. Interestingly enough, Aunt Caroline had encouraged her involvement. It had been the first time Laurie and the older woman had agreed.

Daniel had promised his support of the project by helping to secure the proper zoning and approval. But now, Laurie no longer wanted Daniel’s involvement. His deception only marred her dream. What else had he hidden from her?

Earlier this morning, when she reached into the canvas tote for her makeup bag, she’d found the yellow envelope that belonged to Daniel. She’d nearly opened it then, but had thought better of it.

She’d almost convinced herself that it was because the envelope didn’t belong to her. But she suspected the real reason was that she needed to distance herself from her troubles for a while, to clear her head and her heart.

Obviously, Daniel had intended to use her and their marriage to hide an ongoing affair with a married woman. His political ambitions didn’t stop at the state senate, and the resulting publicity from his role in breaking up the marriage of a prominent surgeon would thwart his campaign efforts.

She had more to consider than just her own pride. Did she wait until the zoning for El Corazón had been decided? And what would Aunt Caroline say? Her aunt adored Daniel and was one of his biggest supporters.

She tried to call home around noon, just to tell her aunt not to worry, but Cole’s phone was dead. And the battery of her cell phone had long since lost power.

Still, she knew exactly what her aunt would say. The election was only weeks away, and Aunt Caroline would undoubtedly instruct Laurie to apologize to Daniel for running off as she had. She’d suggest Laurie beg to be forgiven and be allowed a second chance to become the wife of a state senator. Then, of course, Laurie would be advised to bite her tongue and close her eyes while Daniel continued an affair with Denise Harper. But Laurie wouldn’t do that, no matter how much she owed her aunt.

And unfortunately, Laurie owed Caroline Taylor a lot.

Fifteen years ago, a drunk driver had run a stop sign and crashed into Laurie’s mother’s car, killing her instantly. A social worker had picked Laurie up from school that day, placing her in foster care, leaving her dependent upon strangers for food, shelter and comfort. The loneliness had been almost unbearable. Then, one day a caseworker had told her she was going home to California to live with her mother’s wealthy older sister and would ride on a real airplane.

When Laurie had first entered Aunt Caroline’s sprawling estate on a hill in Bel Aire, she’d met her mother’s sister for the first time. Caroline Taylor had a cool, overbearing manner, but the straitlaced matron tried to welcome the lonely, frightened eight-year-old home. Yet for some reason, Laurie had never been able to completely shake the feeling of being orphaned. Nor could she seem to rid herself of the need to be accommodating and easygoing, in hopes that she would somehow fit in and always be allowed to stay.

Now Laurie wasn’t sure who she was—what she felt or needed, but she did know one thing for certain. When she returned to California, she darn sure wouldn’t be mild-mannered and accommodating.

“How about something to drink before dinner?” Cole’s voice called from the doorway.

Glad to have a respite from her reverie, Laurie searched for a smile. “Sure. What do you have in mind?”

He leaned against the doorjamb, a thumb tucked into the front pocket of his jeans. His dark hair curled upon the open collar of a white shirt. Cole McAdams wasn’t at all polished like the men in her elite circle, but he bore a rugged, masculine appeal lacking in those men who wore Armani suits.

He flashed her a charming smile. “I’ve got wine, beer and apple juice in one of those little boxes with a straw.”

It was the most casual announcement of the cocktail hour she’d ever heard. “Actually, a glass of wine sounds nice.”

“White or red?”

“Either.”

“I’ll open a bottle. Then we can decide what we want for dinner.”

Two hours later, Cole and Laurie sat around the coffee table, munching on grilled cheese sandwiches. A blazing fireplace bathed the room in an intimate glow, and a nearly empty bottle of merlot rested between them.

Country and western tunes played softly from a battery-operated boom box Cole had set up in the corner. Although Laurie would have never guessed it could happen, she found herself growing accustomed to upbeat fiddles, lazy guitars and the down-home stories set to song.

“You look like you’re either enjoying the music or reminiscing.”

Laurie glanced up and grinned at the handsome cowboy beside her. “Both, I suppose.”

“When I first saw you at the filling station, I never figured you for a country and western fan.”

“I wasn’t.” Laurie uncrossed her cramped legs and stretched them out in front of her. “But there’s something real and appealing about the words and music, don’t you think?”

His eyes sparkled, and he flashed her a crooked grin. “I play the fiddle in a band on Friday nights down at the Long Shot.”

“No kidding?”

He shrugged. “Believe it or not, I can actually play classical violin, but there aren’t too many orchestras in this part of Texas.”

Envisioning Cole playing the fiddle in a honky-tonk band was surprising enough, but the violin? “That’s amazing.”

“What’s amazing? That a cowboy like me can play a musical instrument?”

“Not at all. Your complexity intrigues me.”

“I don’t know why. You’re not a simple person, yourself.”

“No, I don’t suppose I am.” She glanced out the darkened patio window.

“What talents do you hide?” he asked, apparently not willing to let her dismiss a discussion of herself.

“Talents?” She sighed, not really sure she had any she could honestly claim. “I play piano, although I disliked the regimented lessons.” She caught him eyeing her intently, and she smiled. “Maybe I should have had violin lessons so I could play bluegrass or country whenever I want a change from classical.”

Dark brows furrowed. “The instrument shouldn’t stop you from playing from the heart. Have you ever played a keyboard?”

“No, I’ve never even seen one up close.”

“Maybe you need to loosen up some.”

“Maybe I do.”

He studied her for a while, his gaze seeming to penetrate layers of her facade. She wanted to ask what he saw, but thought better of it. She certainly didn’t want him to think she was that unfamiliar with herself.

“What other abilities do you have?” he asked.

“I don’t know. I had always wanted to be a doctor.” She smiled wistfully. “But my aunt put a damper on that.”

He cocked his head to the side. “How?”

“She had a fit when she found out I’d had a double major.”

“I’d think she would have been proud of your diligence. Having two majors is a lot of work.”

“I majored in liberal studies to please her. The biology was something I wanted for myself. She found out when I made the dean’s list in my pre-med courses and they sent a letter home to congratulate me.”

“She wasn’t happy?”

“She told me I was foolish.” Laurie blew out a sigh and placed her elbows on the coffee table, all of her aunt’s lectures on manners forgotten. “I’ve gone along with everything she’s ever wanted, but dropping out of the medical program is the only thing I actually regret acquiescing to.”

Cole slowly stood and made his way toward a carved oak bar near the kitchen. After opening another bottle of wine, he returned and filled both glasses.

Usually, Laurie didn’t drink more than a glass or two of wine at a time, but this evening had been pleasant and relaxing. And she wasn’t ready for it to end.

“Why don’t you go back to school?” he asked.

The question came as a surprise, yet she had to admit it seemed logical. God knew how much she wanted to. She and Michael Harper had discussed medicine and his practice until the wee hours of the morning, often to the exclusion of Daniel and Denise. Of course, now that she knew of their affair, she understood why neither of them complained. And why they’d always stepped outside together for a walk or a cigarette. What a fool she’d been.

“Is there a reason you don’t want to go back to school?” he asked again.

Laurie glanced up from her introspection, surprised at the simple logic. “No. I suppose there isn’t.”

She really didn’t want to think about medicine right now. It made her think of Dr. Michael Harper, and the normal chain of thoughts ultimately led to Daniel and Denise. As far as Laurie was concerned, those memories didn’t belong in Texas. She turned her attention to the song playing on the all-night radio station.

“Did that guy just say he likes his women a little on the trashy side?” Laurie asked, unable to believe what she was hearing.

Cole grinned. “Yeah, when they wear their clothes too tight, and their hair is dyed.”

Laurie chuckled. “Is that the kind of women cowboys find appealing?”

He stopped smiling, and Laurie realized he might not have known she was only teasing him.

“How do you like your women, Cole?” The minute the words were out, she realized how much like a sexual tease they sounded. Yet she hadn’t meant it that way. She just wanted to… Good grief, she wasn’t sure what she meant to do.

He studied her intently. If he’d taken her comment as light-heartedly as she’d meant it to be, he didn’t give her that impression at all. “I like them on the loving side.”

The room was heavy with feelings shared. Something in his eyes drew her to him, something she could feel. Admiration maybe, but attraction for sure.

They both sat on the floor, facing each other. Laurie, legs folded Indian-style, rested her arms on the coffee table. Cole, legs extended and crossed at the ankles, leaned back, hands braced at his sides. Desire stilled the conversation.

Outside, the rain had softened to a light whisper. Inside, a slow fire continued to flicker and crackle upon oak logs in the fireplace. But it was the storm raging in her soul that concerned Laurie the most.

When an old country love song began to play, Cole slowly rose to his feet and extended a hand to her. “Dance with me.”

She shouldn’t get too close. Touch him. Hold him. She didn’t trust the strength of her own desire. God knew she didn’t need any complications in her life right now. She had to return to California. Soon. But she didn’t have to go anywhere tonight.

As though mesmerized by something in the depth of those blue eyes, Laurie stood and stepped into Cole’s open arms. They fit together perfectly, and swayed in time to the slow, gentle beat of one sweet moment in time.

One hand held hers against his chest, while the other warmed the small of her back and gently pressed her against him.

Laurie rested her head against his cheek, feeling his soft, warm breath upon her neck. She took a deep breath, savoring the scent of nature, musk and man. Closing her eyes, blending into the music playing softly on the radio, she lost herself in thoughts of love and forever. Of magic and dreams.

It was the merlot, she told herself. And the love song. Their hearts beat softly in time with the romantic, soul-stirring ballad. And once again, she blamed too much wine for the stirring in the pit of her stomach, the warmth in her heart.

The wine and the music increased her awareness of his male scent, caused her nipples to tingle against the broad expanse of his chest, her hips to press closer to his.

But try as she might, Laurie couldn’t still the small voice that whispered she was lying to herself. The wine and music had little to do with the intoxicating magic she felt in this cowboy’s arms.

Cole closed his eyes, and fought the urge to nuzzle Laurie’s neck. To pull her close against his heart. To whisper things he couldn’t possibly mean. To make promises they’d never have time to keep.

He’d gone without sex too long, he reminded himself. A man had needs, and lust drew him to Laurie Smith. But any kind of relationship with a woman like her would bring on emotional complications. And neither Cole nor Beth needed any more disillusions or disappointments.

As they swayed to the beat of the music, Cole couldn’t help but pull her close, press the small of her back to hold her flush against him. Without a doubt, he held more woman than he’d ever held before, but the sooner he let her go, the better. Beth needed stability in her life and a mother-figure she could depend upon. And Cole needed a woman he could trust. A stranger passing through couldn’t be either.

When the song ended, Cole released her. Arms, now empty and useless, hung at his sides. He raked a hand through his hair before crossing his arms casually, hiding a momentary sense of unease. “I suppose I’d better turn in. I’ve got a lot of things to do in the morning.”

She nodded. “I’m pretty tired, myself.”

Later, as he lay in bed staring at the ceiling, Cole felt very much alone. He knew he could easily have encouraged Laurie to join him, to spend the night in his arms, to wake in his bed. He’d seen the passion blazing in her eyes, a raging desire that matched his own.

All he had to do was ask with his eyes, take her hand in his, lead her to his bedroom down the hall. If she’d told him no, it would have been with regret.

He closed his eyes, but couldn’t shut out the memory of the passionate kiss they’d shared the night before. Something powerful sizzled between them.

Chemistry, some people called it. Cole grimaced at the apt analogy, and tried to convince himself experimenting with passion might prove to be a big mistake. Especially with a woman who would walk out of his life.

Hell, making love to Laurie might damn near blow the roof right off the house. It would be hot, wild and intoxicating. A once-in-a-lifetime affair. But it would also be wrong.

And Cole had always tried his damnedest to do the right thing. Even when it made falling asleep damn near impossible.

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