Sultry Nights

At the age of eighteen Kate, despite the fact that she’d been modelling on the international circuit for a couple of years and living in London, had still been unbelievably gauche and unsure of herself. But she’d learnt the art of projecting a cool, dignified façade from an early age, and she used it like an armour.

Kate had accepted Sorcha’s plea to come and spend Christmas with her and her mother in Dublin; her own mother had been on holiday with a new husband. When Tiarnan had shown up unexpectedly for the family Christmas party, Kate’s world had instantly imploded. She’d been in awe of him since he’d dropped her and Sorcha off at school one Sunday evening in his snazzy sports car. All the other girls in the boarding school had swooned that day. But Kate, as Sorcha’s friend, had got to see a lot more of Tiarnan than the others. And as the years had progressed she’d developed a crush of monumental proportions.

The night of that party, after only seeing him fleetingly at his father’s funeral some months before, and not for quite a while before that, to her he’d become even more handsome, more charismatic, with that cynical edge he still possessed today. Kate had been wearing a dress borrowed from Sorcha, far too tight and short for her liking, and had spent the evening avoiding Tiarnan’s penetrating speculative gaze, trying to pull the dress down to cover her thighs. Feeling utterly overwhelmed, and not a little dismayed at her reaction to seeing him again when she’d hoped she would have grown out of such feelings, Kate had slipped away to try and compose herself.

She’d gone into the library, ran smack-bang into Tiarnan, and all good intentions had disappeared instantly. Her crush had solidified there and then into pure grown-up lust. But then something amazing had happened. Alone in that darkened room … looking into his eyes … she’d sensed instinctively that he was looking at her for the first time as an adult. She’d seen it in the quality of his gaze when he’d arrived to the party—it was what had made her feel so self-conscious.

Realising this had been headier than the most potent drink. An electric awareness had sprung to life between them and she’d experienced a feeling of confidence for the first time in her life. A heady female confidence. The kind of confidence she faked for photographers and on the catwalk every day. She was tired of faking it. She wanted to know it. And she’d known that the only man who could teach her—who she wanted to teach her—was standing right in front of her. She’d known if she didn’t seize the moment then, she never would. With that brand-new confidence something reckless had gripped her, and she’d stepped up to Tiarnan and boldly told him she wanted him. And then she’d kissed him.

Kate cringed now in the bed, ten years later, as it all flooded back. To have Tiarnan respond to her untutored kisses had been the most potent aphrodisiac. He’d pulled her close and she’d gone up in flames, pressing herself even closer to him. It had only been when his hand had found the hem of her dress and started to pull it up that reality had intruded for a rude moment. She’d instinctively frozen, becoming acutely aware of her lack of experience and the fact that a very aroused Tiarnan Quinn was about to make love to her. In an instant he’d pulled back and put her away from him with hard hands on her shoulders, looking down at her with glittering angry eyes.

Her heart thudded. So much had happened that night. Whatever romantic notions she might have entertained for a brief moment had been ruthlessly ripped apart within minutes.

She’d looked down, mortified and he’d ruthlessly tipped up her chin and asked brutally, ‘Kate, are you a virgin?’

The flare of colour she had felt rising in her cheeks had told him her answer as eloquently as speaking it out loud. He’d spun away towards the fire, turning his back to her for a long moment. Their breathing had been harsh in the quiet room. She could remember how loudly her heart had been beating.

In that moment while he’d turned away Kate had struggled to claw back some composure. Some semblance of dignity. The fact that he was rejecting her was blatantly obvious.

He’d finally turned back to face her, tall and proud, every line in his body rigid. Kate had forced herself to face him, and the coldly speculative gleam tinged with concern in his eyes had been an instant master class in making her realise just how naïve she’d been.

And then he’d said, ‘Kate—look. I’m not sure what just happened—hell. ‘He’d run a hand through his hair and his expletive had made her flinch. His eyes had speared her again. ‘I don’t sleep with friends of my sister. You’re just a kid, Kate, what the hell were you thinking?’

Tears had pricked behind Kate’s eyes at the unfairness of that statement. Until just moments ago he’d been with her all the way … And then for an awful moment she doubted that it had even happened the way she’d thought. Had he in fact been trying to push her away all along, and she’d been so ardent she hadn’t even noticed? A sensation of excruciating vulnerability had crawled up her spine and she’d called on every single bit of training she possessed. All the years of her mother instructing her not to show emotion, to be pretty and placid.

‘Look, Tiarnan, it’s no big deal. I just wanted …’

She’d racked her shocked and malfunctioning brain for something to say—something to make it seem as if she didn’t care. As if kissing him hadn’t been the single most cataclysmic thing that had ever happened to her. Because he was Tiarnan Quinn, and he didn’t do tender kissing scenes with his little sister’s best friend and she should have realised that …

She repeated her words and shrugged. ‘I just wanted to kiss you.’ She felt exposed and numb. Cold. ‘I wanted to lose my virginity, and you … well, I know you, and it seemed—’

Tiarnan had jerked back as if shot, staring down at her with eyes as cold as ice. ‘What? As if I’d do because I was handy and available? You don’t pull your punches, Kate …’

His face was stonily impenetrable. ‘Do you know, it’s funny,’ he said, almost to himself. ‘I might have actually assumed for a moment that you were different …’ He shook his head. ‘But women never cease to amaze me. Even an innocent like you.’

He’d come close, making a violent tremor go through her whole body, before he’d casually picked up his dinner jacket from where she had pushed it off his shoulders onto the floor. His voice had been so cold it had made her shiver, her hands clench tight.

‘Go and find yourself a boy your own age, Kate. He’ll be much more gentle and understanding than I ever could be.’

And then he’d cupped her chin with his big hand, forcing her gaze upwards to his. She’d gritted her jaw against his fingers.

‘And when you’ve finished with him, go easy on the others … you’re undoubtedly a consummate seductress in the making. I’ve already met the mature version of the woman you’ll undoubtedly become.’

And within a scant week of that soul-destroying little speech, before Kate had had time to gather the tattered shreds of her dignity, news had broken of Tiarnan’s impending parenthood with his South American ex-girlfriend. Rumours had abounded of upcoming nuptials, which had shortly afterwards been confirmed. Evidently his most recent association with the dark beauty Stella Rios had resulted in more than a kiss goodbye. And, even more evidently, renowned playboy and bachelor Tiarnan Quinn was happy to settle down overnight and avoid the clumsy moves of a woman like her.

Kate sighed. Raking up the past was no help, but the memories were still so fresh, the hurt still like a deep raw wound. That night she’d attempted to play with fire and had been badly burnt. She’d been shocked at how deeply Tiarnan’s cynicism had run. His easy cruelty had dealt her a harsh first lesson in allowing herself to be vulnerable. And the fact that he’d read her so wrong had hurt more than she could say.

When would she ever be free of his hold over her? Especially now that he’d made it obvious he still desired her? At least before she hadn’t had to contend with being the target of Tiarnan’s attention … and she knew how determined he could be. He hadn’t made his fortune and become one of the most influential men in the world through lack of determination. Now that he knew her weakness for him he would pursue her with single-mindedness until she gave in. Until she was powerless before him.

A flutter of traitorous excitement snuck into her belly, cancelling out the knot of tension even as Kate tried to reject the accompanying thought—a mere dark whisper of a suggestion: What if she gave in? She immediately rejected the audacious thought outright, aghast that her sense of pride had even let it surface.

But it wouldn’t go, staying and growing bigger in her mind with obstinate persistence. And with it came an awful feeling of rightness, of inevitability. A surge of desire flared in the pit of her belly, between her legs, all the stronger because she’d been so desperately suppressing it.

But what if she looked at it as Tiarnan was so obviously looking at it? He had no idea she’d never really got over that night—had no idea and never would know that he’d hurt her so deeply. He had no idea that she’d all but believed herself to have become frigid. And he had no idea that last night had proved to her that she wasn’t frigid; she was just inexplicably bound to one man. Him. A playboy who could never give her the stability she needed, who would undoubtedly hurt her all over again.

Kate clenched her fists, a sense of anger rising at his implicit power over her. Maybe she needed to play him at his own game? Perhaps the only way she could ever truly get over Tiarnan would be to give in? Allow this seduction. Render his hold over her impotent by sating her desire. It had to be because that kiss that night had assumed mythical proportions in her head. Despite her reaction to him just last night, who was to say if it went further he wouldn’t have exactly the same effect as every other man had had? Ultimately one of disappointment.

If she slept with him—if she got him out of her system and negated his hold over her, restored the balance of his initial rejection—perhaps then she could walk away, not look back, and find the peace and happiness she craved in her life. Find someone to love, settle down with.

She’d had a fantasy vision of the life she wanted to create for herself ever since she’d been a small girl and had realised that her mother loved herself far more than she loved her, and that her father cared only about his work—to the point where it eventually killed him prematurely. Her life would be as far from her emotionally barren childhood as she could get, and while she knew that a man like Tiarnan Quinn was never going to play the starring role in that scenario, was this in fact an opportunity to gain closure? His words last night came back to her: Unfinished business. Wasn’t that all he was to her too?

For the first time all night, as dawn broke in earnest outside, Kate felt peace steal over her like a complicit traitor.

‘Are you going to tell me what’s really going on?

Kate sat down heavily on her bed and bit her lip. Her knuckles were white around the mobile phone she held to her ear. Her open suitcase, half packed on the floor, said it all, and she didn’t have to look at the clock to know she’d already missed her flight to New York.

She closed her eyes. ‘Tiarnan’s invited me to go to Martinique with him and Rosie for a holiday, and I’ve said yes.’

‘Yes, I know that, Kate.’

Kate’s belly felt queasy. Sorcha never called her Kate unless she was upset.

Her friend continued. ‘I’ve just been talking to Tiarnan, and—oh, I don’t know—a few things aren’t exactly adding up: like the fact that little more than a week ago my brother paid a fortune to kiss you in front of hundreds of people when he avoided a public display of affection even on his wedding day; like you’re still in his house in Madrid and tomorrow you’re heading to a tropical paradise together.’

‘With Rosie too,’ Kate quickly asserted—as if that could save her now.

‘Kate Lancaster, please give me some credit.’

The hurt in her friend’s voice was unmistakable, and Kate’s heart clenched painfully.

‘Don’t you think it’s always been glaringly obvious to me that you’re never exactly overjoyed when Tiarnan is around? You close up tighter than an oyster protecting a pearl.’ Sorcha’s voice changed then, became more gentle. ‘Look, I know something happened between you two all those years ago in Dublin.’

Kate could feel the colour drain from her face. ‘Sorcha, I—’

Sorcha sighed audibly. ‘It’s OK, you don’t have to say anything. I just knew … and when you never said anything I didn’t want to push it. But I just … Katie, you were there for me when I needed you, and I always wished that you’d trusted me enough to be there for you too.’

Kate’s stomach had plummeted to the ground. ‘Sorch, I’m so sorry. I do trust you—of course I do … I just—he’s your brother, and I was just so mortified. It wasn’t that I didn’t trust you …’

‘OK, look, we can talk about it again—but right now just tell me: do you know what you’re doing?’

What could Kate say? She felt a bubble of hysteria rise. She was lurching between excoriating confusion and being absolutely sure that this was what she should be doing every two seconds. When she’d gone down to see Tiarnan in his study, after he’d come home from dropping Rosie to school, all rationality had flown out of the window. Yet despite her early-morning revelations, she’d been so determined to resist the awful temptation to give in and bring to life her greatest fantasy.

He’d stood from behind his desk, tall and intimidating, and so gorgeous that her mouth had dried up. Like watching a car crash in slow motion, she’d heard herself blurting out, ‘You said that night that you don’t sleep with your sister’s friends—so what’s changed?’

Instantly she’d cringed at how she’d given herself away so spectacularly, proving that she remembered every word he’d said.

Tiarnan had come around the desk slowly, to stand lethally close. His eyes so blue it had nearly hurt to look at him.

‘Everything. You’re no longer an innocent eighteen-year-old. You’ve matured into a beautiful woman and the boundaries I would have respected before around your friendship with my sister have changed too. She’s married, getting on with her own life … Don’t you want to do the same, Kate? Haven’t you always wondered what it would be like?’

Hurt lanced her at his uncanny ability to strike at the very heart of her most vulnerable self. And the fact that what he said underlined the biggest understatement of her life had rankled unbearably.

‘So I’m good enough to take to bed now, just to satisfy your curiosity, Tiarnan? From what I recall there were two of us in the room that night, and there was a significant amount of time before you called a halt to proceedings. To be perfectly honest, I don’t think I do want to give you the satisfaction of filling a void in your memory.’

And right at that moment Kate had felt as if she really did have the strength to walk away. The pain of his rejection was vivid all over again—right up until Tiarnan had hauled her into his chest, captured her close and kissed her, turning her world upside down and all her lofty intentions into dust. Desire had quickly burnt away any remaining paltry resistance.

He’d pulled back finally, when she’d been pliant and dazed in his arms, and said mockingly, ‘What about giving yourself the satisfaction, Kate? Can you be honest enough with yourself to do that?’

Shockingly aware of his arousal, and knowing with an awful sense of futility that she didn’t have the strength to walk away, she’d just said shakily, ‘If we do this, Tiarnan, it’s going to be on my terms. This affair ends when the holiday ends …’

‘Katie? Are you there? Did you hear me?’

Kate came back from the memory of the bone-shattering intensity of that kiss. ‘I heard you, Sorch. I know what I’m doing.’

She just hoped she sounded convincing.

‘Katie, you know Tiarnan almost as well as me. He’s always been adamant that he’s not going to settle down again. And I just don’t want—’

‘Sorcha.’ Kate cut her off before she could go any further. ‘Look, I know what to expect. I’m going into this with my eyes wide open. Please just trust me. It’s something we both need to … get closure on.’ She winced at how trite that sounded, even though they were exactly the words she’d used to rationalise all this to herself only hours before.

Kate heard a baby’s mewl in the background.

‘You’d better go, Sorch. Molly sounds like she’s waking up.’

Sorcha finally got off the phone, grumbling about the fact that she should have noticed that there’d been more to the tension between Kate and Tiarnan over the years than mutual antipathy.

Kate sat looking into space for a long moment. She knew that she couldn’t turn away from this now. She knew that this was the only likely way to even begin getting over Tiarnan properly. But she was very afraid that Sorcha was right: that as distant as she planned to keep herself from emotional involvement with Tiarnan, she was already fighting a losing battle …

CHAPTER FIVE

THE following day Kate followed Tiarnan across the tarmac of the airport in Madrid to his private jet. He was hand-in-hand with a still serious-looking Rosie. As he’d said, Rosie had welcomed the news that Kate was coming with them—much to Kate’s relief—but she still couldn’t quite figure out the tension between father and daughter. Tiarnan looked back at her in that moment, making Kate’s breath catch in her throat. He was wearing jeans and a plain polo shirt which made him look astoundingly gorgeous.

‘We’re flying to New York. I’m leaving my plane there and we’ll be taking a smaller plane down to Martinique.’

Kate just nodded and forced a smile. What she also knew was that, far from just leaving his plane in New York, he was leaving it to be used by the philanthropic organisation he’d set up, which covered a multitude of charities he chaired or had set up. It was a very public move he’d made some years ago, to try and discourage the unnecessary use of private aircraft. Kate also knew he took commercial flights wherever possible.

She cursed him under her breath, her eyes drawn with dismaying inevitability to the perfection of his tautly muscled behind in the snug and faded jeans. The man was practically a saint, which made it so much harder to keep herself distanced. But from now on that was what she had to be—distanced. She was a woman of the world, sophisticated and experienced. Not shy, gauche Kate who quivered inwardly at the thought of what lay ahead.

Once they were settled onto the plane and it had taken off, Kate was relieved to see Tiarnan take out some paperwork. She and Rosie set up a card game at the other end of the plane. They were served a delicious lunch, after which Kate and Rosie had exhausted all the card games they knew—so Rosie started reading and Kate went back to her seat to try and get some sleep.

Tiarnan glanced over at her and Kate noticed that he looked tired. Her heart clenched, and she had the bizarre desire to go over and sweep away all his paperwork and force him to relax. Her cheeks warmed guiltily when she thought of how she’d like to make him relax. Already that precious distance was disappearing into the dust.

His head gestured towards the back of the plane, a glint in his eye. ‘You can lie down in the bedroom if you want.’

Kate shook her head and tried to stem the heat rising in her body, which had reacted to that explicit glint. ‘No, it’s fine. Rosie’s in there reading; she’ll probably fall asleep.’

He just looked at her. After a moment he shrugged minutely and went back to his work. Kate reclined her chair and curled up, facing the other way.

Eventually the tension left her body. She was relieved that since that kiss in his study he’d been the personification of cool, polite distance. For all the world as if she were nothing more than a family friend joining them for a holiday. She would have been scared off if he’d been any other way: triumphant or gloating. But Kate didn’t doubt that Tiarnan was a master in the handling of women, and even though that realisation hit her in the solar plexus she was too exhausted after a couple of sleepless nights to feel enraged.

When Kate’s body had stopped moving, and it was obvious she was asleep, Tiarnan put down his paperwork and looked over. A tight coil of tension seemed to start in his feet and go all the way to his head. He allowed his eyes to rove over her form, taking in the deliciously round provocation of her bottom as it stuck out, straight at him, encased in linen trousers through which he could see the faint outline of her pants. Her legs were curled up, shoes off. Golden hair billowed out across the cushion and her head was tucked down into her chest. He got up silently and took down a blanket from overhead, spread it out over her body. In profile her face was relaxed, with none of that wakeful watchfulness that she seemed to subject him to, her big blue eyes wary.

He’d had to fight to control himself since he’d kissed her in his study. He’d expected to feel a certain level of disappointment in her acquiescence, which was such a contradiction when all he’d wanted was for her to say yes. And yet she hadn’t been coquettish, she hadn’t been calculating. When she’d stood in front of him in his study, strangely defiant, she’d had faint bruises of colour under her eyes, and if anything he might have guessed that she’d spent a sleepless night.

He stood straight and looked down at her. A surge of possessiveness gripped him. None of that mattered now. What mattered was that she was here, and very soon he would be discovering all the secrets of that luscious body. He turned abruptly before he did something stupid, like kiss her while she slept, and went to check on Rosie.

Kate woke to the sound of heated voices. Rosie and Tiarnan. She sat up and felt thoroughly dishevelled. She pushed her hair back from her face as she heard Tiarnan’s voice emerge from the bedroom at the back.

‘Rosalie Quinn, I will not continue this discussion until you can talk to me in a civil manner.’

Kate looked around, and her eyes widened as she saw Tiarnan standing in the doorway with hands on hips, obviously facing Rosie. And then she heard a tearful, ‘Go away! I hate you, Tiarnan. Why should I listen to you when you’re not even my real dad?’

And then a paroxysm of crying started. The door slammed in Tiarnan’s face. He sighed deeply and jiggled the knob.

‘Rosie, come on …’

Then, as if he could feel her eyes on him, he looked around and saw Kate. He ran a hand through his hair and walked up the cabin towards her, dwarfing everything around him as he did so.

‘I’m sorry—we woke you.’

Kate just shook her head. ‘It’s fine …’is everything OK?’ Patently it wasn’t.

Tiarnan sat in his seat, tipped his had back for a moment. ‘Not really, no.’

He looked at her then, and Kate felt speared by the intensity of his eyes and the pain she could see in the blue depths.

‘I should be honest with you, Kate. Rosie—well, it’s a little more complicated than just moving schools—’

Just then the captain’s voice interrupted, to announce that they were approaching New York and to get ready for landing. Kate had no idea she’d slept that long.

After the steward had come to make sure they were all awake, Kate said softly, ‘Do you want me to go and—?’

Tiarnan shook his head. ‘No, I’ll get her. It’s not your problem, Kate, and I’m sorry you had to hear anything. I’ll explain later.’

After a few minutes a white-faced and obviously upset Rosie came out with Tiarnan and strapped herself into her seat.

As they landed and went through the formalities to change planes, Kate did her best to be upbeat and chirpy, to try and take Rosie’s mind off whatever tension was between her and her father. She’d said that Tiarnan wasn’t her real dad. Kate had no clue what that could be about. Sorcha had never mentioned anything.