200 Harley Street

Even though she hadn’t realised she’d been holding it, her breath came out in a long, steady stream.

She looked back into his eyes. ‘Everything has changed. I’m a different person than I used to be—and not just physically. I like how I look now. I’m comfortable in my own skin. I love the fact that I’m doing a job that makes me happy. I don’t care that my parents don’t appreciate it. I know the value of the job I do. I’ve raised more money in the last few weeks than even I thought possible. I’ve got another few trips overseas to speak to some more potential clients.’ She ran her fingers along the stubble on his jaw. ‘And I’ve got a whole host of plans for raising the profile of the Harley Street clinic, some of which include a hunky Scotsman …’ she gave him a wink ‘… who might even wear a kilt for me.’

He rolled his eyes and she laughed, before rolling back onto her back and putting her hands on her breasts again. ‘This is me, Lexi Robbins. Take me or leave me.’

Iain’s hand came over and rested over one of hers. ‘So you’re happy?’

She nodded. ‘Yes, Iain, I’m happy.’

His hand ran down the outside of the sheet, resting on her hip. She wondered if he was about to ask other questions about her abdominal scar. Would she answer truthfully? Did she feel as if she could?

He wrinkled his nose at her. ‘Well, I’m not.’

Her stomach gave a little clench. What did he mean?

‘I want to find Jack Parker and wring his neck with my bare hands until I squeeze every last breath out of him. I want to bang his head off a wall to try and knock some sense into him. I want to take a walk down a dark alley late at night and show him what I think about how he treated you.’

She was struck by the intensity of his words. Maybe it was the aftermath of their lovemaking that had provoked such deep emotions in him but she could tell from the sincerity in his brown eyes that he’d meant every word.

‘Thank you,’ she whispered. ‘But this was about me dealing with things. I had to learn for myself that he wasn’t what I thought. I had to value myself enough to not allow him to treat me that way. He was never physical, he never laid a hand on me. But his constant comments on my face and figure wore me down. I’ve never felt so free than when I flung him out of our flat and dumped his designer wardrobe out of the window. At that point, it was probably the best moment of my life.’

Iain lifted his hand and rested it between her breasts. ‘But we both know that all beauty is superficial. I can make the most hideous person in the world look stunning on the outside. But it doesn’t change what’s in here. Who that person really is. There have never been truer words than “Beauty is only skin deep”.’

There was genuine warmth in his words, a warmth that swept around her like a comfortable blanket, shielding her from everything else. She could get used to this. She could get used to being shielded by Iain McKenzie.

‘I want you to know, Lexi Robbins, that you are one of the most beautiful people I’ve ever met. Both inside and out. And no matter what happens in the future, where we both end up, I want you to keep that with you. And if any time you’re feeling down, if you’ve had a bad day and can’t face things, I want you to come back and remember this moment, here and now.’

In one way the words were a comfort, and in another they made her stomach clench again. She’d no idea what she expected from Iain—none of this had been planned. But there seemed to be a little edge to those words. As if he knew there would never be a future for them so he was just giving her this moment instead.

And the fact was she’d never felt so perfect as she did at this moment. She’d never felt so valued.

He stroked his fingers down her face again. ‘We need to talk. There are some other things I need to tell you. But first I want to show you just how special you are.’

And for the next few hours he did.

By the time Iain woke up the sun was streaming through the windows. He turned to face Lexi. She was smiling. A real, genuine smile of contentment.

‘How long have you been awake?’

She looked over at the clock. ‘About ten minutes.’ She lay back and stretched her arms above her head. ‘I was waiting for you to make me breakfast,’ she said with a glint in her eye.

‘Do you have any preferences?’

‘Do you have any food?’

He cringed. ‘Have you already been up and looked through my cupboards?’

She touched his chin. ‘You just strike me as a guy who doesn’t do a weekly shop.’

He laughed. ‘You’re right. If you wanted dinner right now we’d be in trouble. But breakfast I can do. How does poached egg, toast and bacon sound?’

‘Heavenly.’ She glanced towards his en suite. ‘Can I use your shower while you make breakfast?’

‘Of course.’ Iain pulled on his dressing-gown and headed to the kitchen. His stomach was churning. He’d never brought a woman back to his London house before, let alone back to his bedroom. He’d spent so long partitioning these parts of his life and keeping himself away from people.

Of course he socialised when he had to. He kept in contact with some of his old friends in Edinburgh—but those were fleeting hello-goodbye moments. But since moving down to London he hadn’t really been seeking the company of friends. He wasn’t really looking for friends. He was only looking for partial distractions. And his gut told him Lexi Robbins could never fit into that category.

He started boiling water in one pan, put the bacon under the grill and the bread in the toaster. The coffee was easy, he had a bright and shiny machine he hardly used. All he had to do was flick a switch.

He turned, his eyes catching on a photo on the window ledge. A photo of Bonnie, sitting on top of a hill in Edinburgh on a sunny day. She had wrapped her long pink flowered dress around her legs to stop it flapping in the wind and her hair was completely windswept.

Something curled inside him. It was going to be the three of them sitting in this kitchen, having breakfast. He wasn’t sure how he felt about that. He wasn’t sure if he was ready for that.

Everything with Lexi was so new. Attraction aside, he didn’t even know how he felt about her yet. Sure, she was beautiful. Sure, she was intelligent. But did that add up to anything else?

For a split second he considered putting the photo in a drawer. But as quickly as the thought flew into his head he pushed it aside. He could never treat Bonnie as if she hadn’t existed. He owed her so much more than that.

And Lexi was no fool. She knew nothing about his past. She would ask about the photo on the window ledge. It was if a dozen little pinpricks started on his shoulders at once. He would tell her. He would tell her about Bonnie. She’d been a big part of his life and she deserved her place there.

The bacon sizzled just as the coffee machine started to splutter and the water in the pot boiled. He dropped in the eggs and pulled out some plates and cutlery.

Lexi appeared a few minutes later, looking like the kind of pin-up poster a teenage boy would have on his bedroom wall.

She’d clipped her hair haphazardly on top of her head and pulled one of his long-sleeved blue shirts from his cupboard. The bottom buttons were fastened and the top two left tantalisingly open. Along with her long legs and pink toenails, the effect was stunning.

She shrugged. ‘I don’t think my dress will ever recover. It’s spent the night on the floor in a sodden mess. Hope you don’t mind.’

‘Of course I don’t.’ He set the coffee on the table. ‘Cappuccino okay for you?’

‘Of course.’ She lifted the coffee cup to her lips and smiled. ‘Don’t be too good at this. I might get comfortable.’

There was that little tumble in his stomach again. He didn’t know how to react to that. The toast popped and he buttered it and placed it on the table, alongside the bacon and the newly poached eggs.

Lexi started piling food on her plate and Iain watched with pleasure. It was the second time he’d eaten with Lexi, and for all her slim frame she wasn’t afraid to eat. Thank goodness. He couldn’t stand being around a picky eater.

Iain took a few mouthfuls then set his fork down. He didn’t even get a chance to say a word.

‘You said you wanted to talk, Iain. What is it? Is this where you tell me this is a wham-bam, thank you, ma’am?’

Boy, she was direct. Another thing he liked about her. This was getting harder all the time.

He shook his head and took a quick drink of his thick, strong coffee. He took a deep breath, but when he exhaled it came out more like a sigh.

‘Spit it out, Scots boy.’

He nodded and pointed to the window ledge before he changed his mind. ‘I wanted to introduce you to someone.’

Lexi looked up at the photo of the pretty dark-haired woman. ‘She’s lovely. Who is she? Your sister?’

‘My wife.’

Lexi set her cup on the table, her face frozen. ‘Please tell me you’re not still married. I don’t sleep with married men.’ She was deadly serious and her face was deathly pale.

‘I’m widowed,’ he said quickly.

There was a visible sigh of relief from across the table. She took a deep breath, her eyes full of sympathy for him. He wasn’t sure that was what he wanted. He’d had enough darned sympathy to last a lifetime. He just wanted her to understand.

‘I’m really sorry about your loss, Iain. I can’t imagine what that feels like.’

There was a tight feeling in his chest. A kettlebell from the gym had just positioned itself on his chest, pushing the air out of his lungs and making him struggle for breath. He was going to see this through. He was. Once he’d told her, that was it—it was out there.

‘It won’t surprise you to know I don’t talk about my personal life much. That’s why I came down to London. To get away from things. The only person who knows what happened is Leo.’

‘Don’t worry. I won’t breathe a word.’

He tried to find the words in his head. He wasn’t just doing this for himself, he was doing it for her too. ‘Bonnie—my wife—died giving birth to our twins. There were complications. My son and daughter died too.’

Her hand had gone automatically to her mouth and her eyes had widened in shock. This wasn’t your everyday conversation.

He put his elbows on the table for a second and put his head in his hands. He was trying not to let the familiar wave of emotions wash over him. He needed to keep himself together.

He ran his tongue along his dry lips. ‘I wanted you to know that when I walked away last night—I wasn’t walking away from you. It wasn’t about you.’ He pressed his hand to his chest. ‘It was about me feeling guilty. I haven’t been with anyone since my wife died.’

‘Oh, Iain …’ There were tears glistening in her eyes and in a second she was up on her bare feet, walking round the kitchen table and standing behind him, linking her hands around his neck and resting her head on his shoulder.

They stayed like that for a few minutes. He could feel the rise and fall of her chest behind him, feel her warm breath on his cheek. He lifted up his hand and linked it with hers.

‘Lexi, I just want you to know—’

‘Don’t say it.’

He pulled her hand, adjusting his position in the chair until he was sitting sideways and could pull her onto his lap.

‘I don’t know about anything. I can’t promise you anything. Because I don’t know if I’m ready. I don’t know if I’m there yet.’ She looked so young, so vulnerable. The very last thing he wanted to do was hurt her.

He put his finger under her chin and pulled her head up to meet his eyes. They were almost nose to nose and he had the clearest view he’d ever had of her beautiful blue eyes. ‘I want you to know that I think you’re gorgeous. I think you’re very desirable. And if I make a mess of things here, it’s because there’s something wrong with me, not you. You’re every man’s dream come true.’ He lowered his voice. ‘But not every man deserves you, Lexi. And not every man is ready for you.’

There was a waver in her eyes, a sign of hesitation. Then she took a deep breath, her chest rose and her shoulders straightened. Her fingers wound their way through his shaggy brown hair. ‘Thank you for telling me about your wife, Iain. I appreciate this is hard. And it’s new. I won’t tell anyone about your wife. And I guess we can just wait to see how things go.’

She smiled at him, and it was an older, more resigned smile. ‘I’m not looking for you to save me. After my last experience I’m just looking for someone to treat me with respect and value my opinions. How about we go from there?’

He could see she was holding back. He could see there was something in her eyes that she was keeping from him. Guarding herself and guarding her heart. The sensible option. And he respected that. He could live with that, because he hadn’t told her everything yet. That might come later.

She stood up. ‘You’re still going to be grumpy at the clinic, though, aren’t you?’

He took a bite of his toast. ‘Obviously. Why change the habit of a lifetime?’ He looked at the clock. ‘Are you due there today?’

She nodded and looked down at the pale blue shirt. ‘I don’t have any appointments until later today—and then some into the evening. I have a few interviews lined up with some national papers and I still need to edit your interview. Oh, and get you to pose for some publicity shots.’

‘I am not wearing a kilt.’

She tilted her head to the side and folded her arms. ‘I might be able to think of a way to persuade you. How much time have you got?’

‘A few hours. I need to go to the Lighthouse to check on one of my patients. But they aren’t expecting me until around eleven.’ He abandoned the toast. He much preferred the other offer. ‘How do you think you can persuade me?’

‘Have you got a bath? A big bath?’ She had that gleam in her eye as she took his hand and led him towards the stairs.

Her voice drifted along the corridor. ‘And what I’d really like is some bubbles …’

CHAPTER EIGHT

IAIN GLANCED AT the clock on the wall. ‘Lexi, are you ready?’ He didn’t want to be late.

She appeared instantly at his side. He tried not to let his eyes automatically run up and down the length of her body—but, boy, was it hard. Her perfume was already assaulting his senses and rejigging his memory from the night before.

It was making his skin prickle and resurrecting a whole host of feelings of guilt. He tried to push them away. She was dressed conservatively. A plain cream blouse, knee-length navy skirt and flats. But she still managed to carry it off with panache. The sooner he finished with this the better. He hated the fact he didn’t think he could control his body’s responses around her. The last thing he needed was other people suspecting something was going on.

This was the last part of the filming—a review of a little Chinese boy he’d performed surgery on a few days ago. He stopped just outside the door and nodded to the cameraman, who started filming.

‘Okay, today we’re going to look in on An. He’s a six-year-old Chinese boy with a facial deformity—hemifacial microsomia. It’s a condition that affects the bone, muscle, fat and nerves of the lower part of the face. The deformities are on a spectrum. They can range from a mild presentation with slight asymmetry to severe absence of facial structures. It’s a progressive disorder and becomes more apparent as the child grows.’

‘How common is it?’ asked Lexi.

‘It’s the second most common facial deformity and affects around one in five thousand six hundred births. It’s equally common in males and females.’

Lexi halted at the door and he wondered about her reaction. Please don’t let her grimace when she sees the child. An’s asymmetrical features were apparent, even at a young age. He had many more years of surgery ahead of him.

He tapped her shoulder as they walked in and kept talking to the camera. ‘One side of An’s face is growing normally. The other isn’t. The surgery I did a few days ago was a mandibular correction to allow for normal maxillary growth. It means An’s dental structures and jaw will be in better alignment.’

He was still watching Lexi from the corner of his eye. She had her head tilted to one side and looked as if she was concentrating fiercely. She was watching An and his mother talk in hushed voices. He glanced towards the doorway again, waiting for the translator. Speaking Chinese was not in his repertoire.

But it appeared to be in Lexi’s.

She walked over and knelt next to the little boy and his mother, trying a few hesitant words. The woman’s eyebrows shot skywards and after a few seconds she replied haltingly.

Lexi smiled and tried again. This time she was a little more relaxed and the words flowed more freely. The exchange lasted a few minutes. Iain couldn’t believe his eyes. How did she know Chinese?

He took a few steps closer. ‘Lexi?’

She looked up. ‘I thought I recognised the language. It’s Gan with a Nanchang dialect.’

‘How on earth do you know that?’

A wrinkle appeared across her brow. It was obvious she was choosing her words carefully. ‘Do you remember I told you I spent the summer with my aunt?’

He nodded.

‘My aunt did lots of charity work. At that time most of her work was in some of the Chinese orphanages. She took me over there for a whole summer. It was the best summer of my life.’

‘You learned a Chinese dialect in one summer?’

‘I still go back,’ she said quietly. ‘Away from the spotlight. Every few years Jo and I go back to that same orphanage. I feel a real connection with it. I’ve spent a long time learning the language, the particular dialect. It makes the work so much more rewarding when I can converse with the children.

‘Some of those children were taken away from their parents against their will. The parents couldn’t afford to pay the fine for having more than one child. It’s awful. But we’ve tried to make things better. We have links with social services around the world and some of the children get adopted internationally.’

‘So, An is from the same area?’

She nodded. ‘Yes. I’m not completely fluent, but I can easily make myself understood. You don’t need to wait for an interpreter.’

Iain hesitated for a second. He was trying not to let his mouth hang open. But Lexi had just rendered him speechless.

This was not what he had expected. And he was almost ashamed to think that.

He’d been up close and personal with her. He knew she was much deeper than people assumed. But it was obvious he’d only scratched the surface—only got to know a little about the woman underneath the pretty façade.

From her teenage years Lexi had spent summer after summer helping out at a Chinese orphanage. This was more than charity work for her. She was committed to this. Committed enough to learn the language.

He’d spent a summer at a Romanian orphanage himself, operating on children with cleft lips and palates. He knew how much it sucked you in. How you would do anything to help. How you could think about nothing else.

This was a whole new part of Lexi Robbins he hadn’t counted on.

‘Iain? Are we doing this?’

He nodded, embarrassed by his long silence. ‘Of course … thank you.’

He knelt down next to An, who was perched on his mother’s knee. The stitches on the skin along the little boy’s jaw had healed well. ‘Ask him how he’s managing to eat.’

Lexi nodded and spoke quietly to his mother, listening to her reply and letting An answer too. She turned to Iain. ‘He’s fed up with soft foods.’ She gave him a smile. ‘He wants some chips.’

Iain smiled. ‘Can you ask him to open his mouth so I can have a look at his dentition? Some of his teeth have been affected by the repositioning of his jaw.’

Lexi only took a second to ask the question and An opened his mouth a little hesitantly. Iain bent down and looked inside, using a small torch, ‘Everything looks as though it’s healing well. I see no reason he can’t have a more substantial diet.’

Lexi translated quickly. An’s face was still bruised and slightly swollen and his attempt at a smile lopsided. But it was the most satisfying thing that Iain could see.

‘Can you ask him about pain relief? If he’s going to eat a bit more he might need his analgesics adjusted for the next few days.’

Lexi took a few minutes, taking her time while she spoke to An and his mother. She made it seem like the most natural thing in the world. It was obvious she wasn’t completely fluent, but she had more than a grasp of the language, and An and his mother seemed to appreciate being able to communicate with a member of staff.

Lexi turned around from where she was kneeling on the floor and touched Iain’s leg. The warmth of her hand startled him, as did her position. He moved quickly out of her reach, before her touch could have any affect. ‘An hasn’t been talking too much as he finds the jaw movements painful. He probably does need his analgesics adjusted.’

Iain nodded. ‘Let them know I’ll take care of that now.’ He lifted the chart and walked over the nurses’ station to talk to the nurse allocated to An. Lexi stayed where she was, continuing to talk to An and his mother.

They loved her already. It was obvious. She was writing a few things on a piece of paper along with a little picture and telling them what they meant. It was obvious there had been a few key things they had wanted to communicate to the staff and hadn’t been able to. Lexi was doing her best to facilitate that. She was doing her very best for an unknown mother and child she’d just met.

It made his stomach twist. Lexi’s nature was sweet and kind. This shouldn’t be unexpected for him. But seeing it, right before his eyes, was just a little different.

He was used to Lexi Robbins, Head of PR. He’d also experienced Lexi Robbins, sultry, sexy woman.

But Lexi Robbins, humanitarian, was a whole different ball game. Now he understood where the passion in her eyes came from when she spoke about the charity work. It wasn’t just all part of her PR game. It was how she really felt.

And that made him uncomfortable.

It made him feel too close.

She was unsettling him, in more ways than one. She was much more than a pretty face.

But the thing that worried him most was just how much more he wanted to know.

The knock on the door work her up. Eek! She’d overslept.

She dashed to the door, trying to shove her arms into her dressing-gown. She pulled the door open. ‘Iain. I’m sorry. Give me five minutes and I promise you I’ll be ready.’ She didn’t wait for an answer, just dashed to the bedroom to throw on some jeans and a jumper.

A few minutes later she found him in her kitchen, stirring a cup of black of coffee. ‘Inside or out?’

‘What?’ He looked confused.

‘You haven’t told me where we’re going. What kind of jacket do I need?’

He smiled. ‘Dress up warm.’

She raised her eyebrows and ducked back into her bedroom, pulling out a pair of red leather gloves and a red woolly hat with a huge pom-pom on top and big flaps to cover her ears. She stuffed it on top of her blonde hair and pulled on a thick black jacket and fleecy black boots.

It was freezing in London. Not wet or drizzly. It was completely dry, just very, very cold.

‘I’m ready.’ She marched into the kitchen and took a quick drink of the coffee Iain had made for her. It wasn’t a skinny caramel latte, but he’d made it perfectly. Maybe this was all just a little too good to be true.

Iain held the door open for her. ‘Then let’s go. Time to have some fun.’

They rode on the Tube and got off at Tower Hill. They walked out of the Tube station and round the corner to face the impressive façade of the Tower of London.

‘We’re going sightseeing?’

He nodded. ‘I haven’t been yet. I’ve been in London two years and I’ve hardly seen a thing.’ He walked up to the ticket booth. ‘Do we want to see the Crown Jewels too?’