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Eudora Honeysett is Quite Well, Thank You
Eudora Honeysett is Quite Well, Thank You

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Eudora Honeysett is Quite Well, Thank You

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‘Could you fetch me some carrots for the pie, please, Stella?’ asked Eudora.

‘Okay, Dora,’ said Stella, skipping out through the back door. Eudora smiled and went back to her humming.

We’ll meet again, Daddy, she thought. I know we’ll meet again.

Pastry finished, she turned her attention to the rabbits, which her great-uncle had caught the day before. Eudora had become an expert at skinning and butchering rabbits. She’d cut herself on the sharp knives the first few times she’d performed this task but now she was a dab hand. She’d become extremely adept at all manner of domestic tasks since they’d moved here, almost taking over her mother’s role. She didn’t mind. The doctor said Beatrice’s nerves were bad and Eudora saw it as another strand to keeping her promise to her father.

Stella skipped back into the kitchen holding the carrots aloft like a trophy. ‘Got them!’

‘Good girl. Can you rinse them for me, please?’

‘Okay, Dora.’

‘Look at you. Like two little housemaids doing all the chores.’ Eudora turned to see Beatrice standing in the doorway. She’d thought her mother would be pleased to see them getting on so well but detected a hint of jealousy in her tone.

‘I’m washing the carrots!’ cried Stella, spinning round and splashing dirt and water everywhere.

‘You’re making a terrible mess!’ scolded Beatrice, colour rising to her cheeks.

‘It’s all right, Mummy. I’ll clear it up. Shall I make you some tea?’ said Eudora.

There was a sharp knock at the front door. Beatrice put a hand to her heart. ‘Oh my shattered nerves. Whoever can that be?’

Eudora froze. Daddy. Let it be Daddy. ‘Shall I go?’

Beatrice dismissed her with a wave of her hand. ‘No, no. You make the tea. I’ll go.’

Eudora craned her neck to see who was there as her mother opened the door. ‘Who is it, Dora?’ asked Stella, nudging in front of her sister.

As soon as Eudora saw the boy, she knew. ‘Angels of death’ they called them. She couldn’t hear his words but she heard the mumbled, ‘Sorry. Sorry.’ Eudora closed her eyes and pushed the kitchen door shut. She wrapped her arms around Stella and covered her ears as the scream went up. It was a scream that filled the whole house, the whole village, the whole world, and, to Eudora, it felt as if it was a scream that would never end.

Chapter 4

The following day hangs hot and heavy. Eudora longs for a swim but can’t face the walk. She throws open the windows and back door to allow what precious breeze there is waft through to the living room. She lingers a moment at the back door, blinking out at her parched lawn. There is more soil than grass. It’s baked and cracked like an overdone pie crust. Her next-door neighbour used to cut the lawn whilst he was doing his own. He was a little slapdash with his efforts but she was grateful for his kindness. He also barely spoke and she was grateful for that too. She has no idea who will cut it for her now that he and his family have moved. Eudora can just about manage to tend her flowerbeds but even this is starting to prove a struggle. Hopefully these concerns will soon be a thing of the past.

After breakfast, Eudora resolves to make the best of being trapped at home and settles down to put her affairs in order. Firstly, she considers whether to make a will. She’s not sure there’s any point. There’s no one to inherit her estate. In the absence of beneficiaries, the Crown will get everything. Eudora would like to hope they will spend it wisely but she doubts it. She hasn’t trusted a single prime minister since Churchill and as for her local politician, she wrote him off the day she attended his surgery and he addressed her as ‘Eudora’. He hasn’t done anything about the uneven pavements on her street yet either. Montgomery sidles into the room and casually rubs his head against her ankles.

‘That tickles!’ exclaims Eudora. He does it again. Eudora reaches down to scratch his head. He nudges her hand in reply. ‘Someone’s in a good mood today,’ she remarks, watching him take up position in an inviting patch of sunshine on the back of the sofa, before falling asleep, his nose rested on folded velvet paws. On impulse, Eudora seizes her writing pad and pen.

She writes,

These are the final wishes of Eudora Honeysett. I am of sound mind and wish for the following to be adhered to after my death.

She taps her pen against her top lip before continuing.

I wish for my house and all its contents to be sold and the proceeds, along with any money remaining in my bank accounts, to be used to help fund the NHS. I wish for my cat, Montgomery, to be given to Rose Trewidney, who lives next-door to me.

Eudora glances at the concertina file on the shelf beside her chair, containing all her financial documents. She ought to write something specific about these. Her thoughts are interrupted by the rumble of the council dustcart pulling onto her street.

‘Oh blast,’ she says, remembering the bag of rubbish she’d left on the front step, ready to take to the dustbin. Eudora hauls herself to her feet, hurrying with some effort to the door. Hobbling down the path, she reaches the pavement in time to see the lorry pulling off. ‘Blast!’ she repeats with more venom. She hasn’t noticed Stanley talking to Rose, as his yelping dogs weave in and out of their legs. Stanley has seen her though. He hands the dogs’ leads to Rose and approaches with a smile.

‘Do you want me to take that?’ he asks, holding out his hand. Eudora looks round in surprise, drawing the bag out of reach as if fearful he’s trying to rob her. Stanley laughs and peers in the direction of the lorry. He plants his fingers in his mouth and issues a loud, confident whistle.

Eudora is appalled whilst Rose stares at him in awe. ‘Please can you teach me how to do that?’

‘’Course I can.’

One of the binmen glances in his direction. ‘You missed one!’ calls Stanley. The man gives a thumbs-up and jogs back to fetch the bag.

‘Sorry, Stan,’ he says with a grin. ‘Thanks, darlin’,’ he adds to Eudora, wresting it from her grasp.

She can’t remember the last time anyone addressed her in such a fashion and is surprised to feel her cheeks grow hot.

‘That was cool,’ Rose tells him.

‘Thank you,’ says Eudora. Stanley gives a gallant bow. His dogs are up to their usual tricks of barking and trying to trip up everyone in sight. Resisting the urge to kick one of them, Eudora turns away.

‘Do you both want to come to my house for tea?’ asks Rose.

Eudora regards her for a moment. She doesn’t want to but is starting to realise that it’s difficult to refuse Rose.

‘I would love to but I think I should leave these menaces at home,’ says Stanley, gesturing towards the dogs. ‘I’m sure you agree, Miss Honeysett?’

‘I do,’ admits Eudora.

‘Why don’t you come round at about four o’clock then?’ suggests Rose. ‘And we could use our surnames like you just did. So you can be Mr Marcham and I’ll be Miss Trewidney. It’ll be like something out of olden times.’ She hugs herself with delight.

‘Very well, Miss Trewidney, Miss Honeysett. I shall look forward to the opportunity of taking tea with you both at four of the clock,’ says Stanley with a deep bow.

Rose giggles. ‘This is going to be so much fun.’

Eudora is perturbed as she makes her way back inside her house. She doesn’t want this. She doesn’t need their company. She has managed perfectly well for many years without unnecessary acquaintances. She wants to be left alone to put her affairs in order and put an end to all this. Why can’t people leave her be?

However, Eudora Honeysett prides herself on never being impolite. Besides, it is just tea. She will show willing this time and extricate herself at the earliest available opportunity.

At precisely 3.58pm, she leaves her house and makes her way up Rose’s front path. ‘I knew you’d arrive on the dot,’ says a voice behind her. She turns to see Stanley walking through the gate, carrying a delicate bunch of sweet peas and a cake tin.

‘Of course. It’s bad manners to be late,’ says Eudora, ringing the doorbell.

‘Quite right too.’

Rose flings open the door. Eudora had been alarmed by her outfit from the day before but this one is even more startling. She wears a purple T-shirt with the words, ‘Girls Rule’, written in rose-coloured sequins, a pair of striped orange shorts, a fluorescent green feather boa and a huge gold bow in her hair. ‘Good day, Miss Honeysett, Mr Marcham!’ she cries with a clumsy curtsey.

‘Good day to you, Miss Trewidney!’ replies Stanley, ushering Eudora in before him. ‘Ladies first.’

‘Hello,’ says Eudora, refusing to go along with their ridiculous charade.

Maggie appears in the hallway. ‘Hi there. Lovely to see you again, Eudora. And you must be Stanley.’ They shake hands. Maggie’s chaotic hair is tied with a red and gold scarf and she is wearing a pair of paint-splattered denim dungarees over a white T-shirt. Eudora notices for the first time that she is pregnant. ‘Excuse my appearance,’ she adds, patting her hair. ‘I’m busy decorating the nursery.’

‘Ahh, so you’re going to have a new baby brother or sister,’ says Stanley to Rose.

‘Sister. She’s called Daisy,’ reports Rose, sounding bored.

‘We moved up from Cornwall because of my partner’s job,’ explains Maggie. Eudora is momentarily confused by the word ‘partner’ before remembering that it’s modern parlance for, ‘other half’.

‘Shall we take tea in the garden?’ asks Rose.

‘Sounds perfect,’ says Stanley. ‘These are for you, by the way.’ He hands over the flowers and cake tin. Eudora is embarrassed by her empty hands.

‘Thank you,’ says Rose. ‘Mmm, don’t these smell lovely, Mummy?’

She holds out the flowers for her mother, who inhales deeply. ‘Heavenly,’ says Maggie.

Eudora catches the fragrance. It transports her momentarily towards a memory, which leaves her breathless with sadness. ‘Is the garden this way?’ she asks pointing her stick towards the back door, hoping that this will move things along.

‘It is,’ says Maggie. ‘Everything’s on the table. Rose and I made a jug of peach iced tea and a sponge cake.’

‘Snap on the cake front!’ says Stanley. ‘But then as my Ada used to say, there’s no such thing as too much cake.’

There is if you don’t know when to stop, thinks Eudora.

‘I’ll leave you in Rose’s capable hands then,’ says Maggie.

‘Miss Trewidney,’ corrects Rose.

‘Sorry – Miss Trewidney. I’ll be upstairs if you need anything.’ As she smiles, Eudora is struck by how beautiful she is. It’s the natural beauty of someone who is content within their own skin. Eudora envies and admires her for this.

Rose leads them into the garden. Someone has made a half-hearted attempt to cut the ailing lawn and there’s a sagging trampoline at the far end opposite the shed. The garden is surrounded by towering shrubs punctuated with the odd rose or lavender bush. They sit at the garden table underneath a green parasol. It’s still hot but there’s a pleasant breeze wafting through the leaves.

‘Well isn’t this lovely?’ says Stanley.

‘Mmm,’ admits Eudora.

Rose pours brimming glasses of iced tea and cuts generous slabs of cake. ‘Here you go.’

‘Thank you,’ says Eudora.

‘Thank you, Miss Trewidney,’ echoes Stanley.

‘So was Ada your wife?’ asks Rose, taking a large bite of cake.

Stanley nods sorrowfully. ‘My angel. We were married for nearly sixty years but my darling girl couldn’t hold on to celebrate that particular anniversary.’

‘That’s sad,’ says Rose. Eudora says nothing. She’s not a fan of the open discussion of feelings.

‘It is but I feel lucky to have known her,’ says Stanley. ‘We had the best life and a long one too. We met at school when we were younger than you,’ he tells Rose.

‘How old?’ she asks, enthralled.

‘Six,’ says Stanley smiling fondly.

‘Six!’ cries Rose. ‘So cute. And was it love at first sight?’

‘Oh yes,’ says Stanley. ‘Ada was the prettiest girl in the school with huge blue eyes and blonde ringlets. And she had this beautiful laugh, like a little bell ringing. I used to do everything I could to make her laugh. She said I was the class joker but then everyone loves a joker, don’t they?’

Not necessarily, thinks Eudora. Her suspicions about Stanley Marcham are turning out to be true. He really did like the sound of his own voice.

‘I think it’s romantic that you found your true love aged six,’ declares Rose. ‘I can’t imagine that happening to me. Most of the boys I know are plonkers.’

Stanley laughs. ‘A lot of boys are plonkers.’

‘What about you, Miss Honeysett?’ asks Rose. ‘Have you ever been in love?’

Eudora frowns.

‘Meddlers for nosey parkers?’ suggests the little girl.

‘Precisely.’

‘Sorry,’ says Rose. ‘Shall we talk about your cat then?’

‘If you like.’

‘How long have you had him?’

‘Twelve years.’ Eudora had bought him soon after her mother died in an attempt to dilute her grief. It didn’t work.

‘Why did you call him Montgomery?’

‘Let me guess. After the Field Marshal?’ suggests Stanley.

‘Not really,’ says Eudora. He is right but Eudora’s not going to let him know it.

‘Did you ever think about getting a dog?’

‘No.’

‘I reckon you’re either a cat or a dog person,’ says Stanley.

Of course you do, thinks Eudora.

‘My Ada loved dogs, whereas we always had cats growing up.’

‘So you’re a cat person,’ says Rose. ‘Like Eudora.’

Stanley nods. ‘But Ada had always wanted a dog so I couldn’t say no. I’d have lassoed the moon if she’d asked.’

It’s a Wonderful Life,’ says Eudora.

‘What’s a wonderful life?’ asks Rose.

Stanley smiles. ‘That line. About lassoing the moon. It’s from a film called It’s a Wonderful Life, starring the great Jimmy Stewart.’

‘And Donna Reed,’ adds Eudora.

‘She was a beauty,’ says Stanley. ‘It’s a great film. You’d like it, Rose.’

Rose was gazing at them both, her elbows resting on the table. ‘I like listening to you two talk.’ Eudora and Stanley exchange glances. ‘So what kind of dogs are Chas and Dave?’

‘Cavalier King Charles spaniels,’ says Stanley. ‘They call them that because their ears make them look a bit like King Charles the first.’

‘The second,’ interrupts Eudora. Stanley stares at her. ‘They’re named after King Charles the second – the Restoration king.’

‘I stand corrected,’ says Stanley with a bow.

‘You certainly do,’ replies Eudora.

‘How old are they?’ asks Rose.

‘Ten. We had other dogs before them but I think these two were Ada’s favourites.’ Stanley’s eyes mist. ‘They’re all I’ve got left of her now. Little blighters.’

Rose stands up and puts her arms around Stanley, squeezing him to her small frame. Eudora watches, appalled and intrigued. ‘You must miss her,’ says Rose.

Stanley nods and, to her horror, Eudora realises he’s crying.

‘It’s okay, Stanley,’ says Rose. ‘It’s good to cry sometimes. It always makes me feel better.’

Eudora is panicked at this public outpouring of grief. She reaches into her handbag, retrieving a clean handkerchief. It’s the only way she can think to make him stop.

‘Here,’ she says, handing it over.

‘Thank you,’ says Stanley, smiling at her. ‘I’m sorry. I get a bit down sometimes. It comes over me all of a sudden. You must think I’m a silly old fool.’

Eudora welds her lips together.

‘Not at all!’ cries Rose. ‘You miss your wife and you’re sad. We all need to cry sometimes and we’re your friends, aren’t we?’ Rose gazes at Eudora with dark brown eyes, which draw you in and refuse to let go.

‘Why don’t we have another piece of cake?’ suggests Eudora. It’s the best she can do given the circumstances.

‘That’s an excellent idea,’ says Rose.

‘Thank you,’ says Stanley, his voice husky with sadness. ‘You’re both very kind.’ Eudora nods and Stanley nudges her. ‘We’re like peas in a pod, aren’t we? Two old duffers together!’

‘Speak for yourself,’ says Eudora.

Stanley laughs. ‘Maybe you and I should trip the light fantastic one evening? Go for a meal? Or the flicks?’ Eudora frowns. ‘Or a nightclub?’ She looks horrified. ‘I’m joking!’ He grins. ‘You’re a funny one, Miss Honeysett.’

She shoots him a sideward glance. ‘Takes one to know one, Mr Marcham.’

‘Touché,’ he replies.

‘It’s lovely to make new friends, isn’t it?’ says Rose. ‘BFFs forever!’

‘BFFs?’ asks Eudora.

‘Best friends forever!’ cries Rose.

Eudora is weary. She isn’t used to such frivolity. ‘I think I shall go home now. Thank you both for a …’ she searches for the right words, ‘… pleasant afternoon.’

‘Oh, thank you for coming. It was so much fun,’ says Rose, following her down the hall. As Eudora is about to leave, Rose wraps her arms around her middle. Eudora freezes at the rare experience of human warmth. It’s an awkward sensation but unexpectedly comforting too. ‘I’ll see you soon,’ Rose tells her.

Once home, Eudora deadlocks the door on the world and puts the chain across. She is exhausted and confused. She wasn’t lying when she said it had been a pleasant afternoon. She finds Stanley irritating but Rose is a force of nature. However, Eudora doesn’t have time for this. She has a death to plan and can’t allow the distraction of human kindness to stand in her way.

* * *

1948, Sidney Avenue, south-east London

Eudora bought the sweet pea seeds on a whim. It had seemed like a good idea at the time. Something to cheer her mother and occupy Stella. Her father used to grow sweet peas. Eudora recalled vases on every surface when she was small, filled with delicate pastel clouds of perfume. She thought it would be a happy memory, a comfort, like looking at his photograph or listening to one of his favourite songs. But if Eudora had realised the trouble they would cause, she would have left the seed packet in the shop.

Moving back to their family home at the end of the war had made Eudora feel as if she were losing her father all over again. Everything reminded her of his absence – the tang of tobacco, his dressing gown hanging on the back of the bedroom door. She watched her mother move around the house, wearing widowhood like a cloak. The expression on Beatrice’s shrunken face was that of a woman who couldn’t quite comprehend that this was her life now. Eudora understood that she needed to take action before the grief swallowed them all whole. She had only been thirteen at the time but it was as if her childhood had accelerated into adulthood without notice or permission.

Eudora knew her father’s words to her in the air-raid shelter had never been more salient. It was her duty to look after her mother and sister, and now that he wasn’t around, to protect them too.

She encouraged her mother to accept a job at the primary school which Stella attended. Beatrice seemed to enjoy the work and it meant Eudora could go to her own Secondary Modern safe in the knowledge that her mother wasn’t sitting at home, dwelling on her loss. Eudora always made sure she was there to collect Stella after school and did a lion’s share of the chores. She realised that if she took some of the stress out of her mother’s daily life, they were more likely to avoid an argument.

These conflicts always involved her younger sister. Much to Eudora’s regret, Stella had failed to grow out of her defiant phase. If anything, she was wilder, having developed an almost feral streak during carefree years spent in the countryside. She was forever in trouble at school, receiving the slipper for her efforts on countless occasions. Eudora tried to reason with her but Stella would merely shrug and insist she had no idea why she did the things she did. Beatrice had no patience with her at all. The shame she harboured at having such a wilful child and the ever-present burden of widowhood only served to fuel her anger towards the brazen girl. Eudora lived her life on tenterhooks, a reluctant go-between in whichever battle raged next.

And yet there were moments when she saw a sweetness and eagerness to please in Stella. This was one of the main reasons she’d bought the seeds.

‘I’ve got a surprise,’ she told her one afternoon. Their mother was working late at school so Eudora thought it would be a good time to start her secret mission.

‘What surprise, Dora?’ asked Stella, eyes glinting with expectation. It was a look that made Eudora’s heart swell with love, particularly as the little girl bore an uncanny resemblance to their father.

‘I’ve bought some sweet pea seeds. I thought we could plant them together as a surprise for Mummy.’

Stella folded her arms. ‘I don’t want to.’

Eudora realised she’d taken the wrong tack. ‘Oh please, Stella. I think you’ll love the flowers once they’ve grown. They smell wonderful. You could use them to make some of your perfume.’ Much to her mother’s annoyance, the little girl had a habit of pulling petals from roses and storing them in jam jars filled to the brim with water. It made Eudora smile when she presented her with yet another sticky jar of stagnant water, declaring it to be ‘Chanel N°5’. She could imagine her father erupting into laughter at such a scene.

Stella chewed a fingernail before giving her decision. ‘O-kay, Dora. Show me how.’

Eudora and Stella spent a happy hour carefully filling trays with compost and sowing the tiny seeds.

‘We’ll keep them on the windowsill in the back bedroom until they germinate and then we can plant them in the garden. We need to keep an eye on them, mind, and make sure they don’t dry out.’

Stella gave an earnest nod. ‘I’ll check them every day.’

‘Good girl. And let’s keep it a secret between us for now, all right?’

‘Shhhhhh,’ replied Stella, drawing a finger to her smirking lips.

It didn’t take long for the seedlings to develop. ‘When can we plant them in the garden?’ asked Stella on the day they delighted to find sturdy green shoots pushing through the compost.

‘Tomorrow after school,’ said Eudora, remembering that her mother was working late again.

‘I can’t wait to smell the flowers,’ said Stella. Eudora rejoiced in a thrill of victory. She was making progress with her sister. All would be well.

Eudora found the homemade obelisk of bound canes that her father had used when he grew sweet peas tucked in the back of the cobweb-laced shed. She carried it to a bare patch of soil and pushed the spikes into the earth. ‘Now we must dig little holes all around the outside and carefully transplant the sweet peas so that they can climb up the canes.’

‘Okay, Dora,’ said Stella, waving her trowel in the air.

Eudora was impressed with the care her sister showed as she dug, planted, and patted the soil around their precious seedlings. When they were finished, they stood back to admire their handiwork.

‘Well done, Stella. It won’t be long until we’ve got flowers – provided we keep them watered.’

‘And then I can make my perfume?’

‘And then you can make your perfume.’

Stella wrapped her arms around Eudora’s middle. ‘I love you, Dora.’

Eudora planted a kiss on the top of her head like her father used to do to her. ‘I love you too.’

One Saturday morning a few weeks later, Stella came running into the kitchen. ‘Dora, Dora, there are flowers! Come see! Come see!’

Eudora followed her sister into the garden and, sure enough, the sweet peas bore an array of beautiful, fragrant flowers.

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