Marriage for Her Baby

She became obsessed with pretending that she was in love. She tried so hard. But when he hugged her, she found herself craning to see what time it was. When he told her of his life plans, she found herself daydreaming instead of throwing herself into his ambitions the way she should have. And when he kissed her, there was no sparkle.

She told herself not to be so childish. Who the heck needed sparkle? And then she realized—she did. Just a little. Was that asking too much?

When they split up, she felt nothing but relief, and since then, she’d hardly given their relationship another thought. Looking back, she knew now that there had been very little love involved on either of their parts. There had been a longing for a regular, ordinary life, but it had very little to do with any strong emotional tie between them.

She just didn’t seem to have what it took to create a loving relationship, and she’d resigned herself to concentrating on her career. Now there was something she was good at.

She had finished half her piece of pie and was trying to decide if she was going to eat the rest. It was awfully good, but the calories! She’d always been on the slender side, but that fit figure wasn’t easy to keep that way. Pushing the plate away, she looked up at Jake instead.

“So you were telling me about living in a tent,” she reminded him.

“Was I?”

“Yes. And then you got annoyed when I said I could tell you were military.” She smiled. She was nothing if not helpful.

He gave her a disbelieving glance, but he willingly picked up the thread and went on. “I’ve been deployed mostly to Southeast Asia for the last couple of years,” he filled in. “We did a lot of living off the land. Subsisting on roadkill and taro root.”

She made a face. She didn’t know whether to take him seriously or not, but the humorous glint in his eyes was a pretty big hint. “Don’t they give you guys C rations anymore?” she asked tartly.

He leaned back and looked at her through heavy lidded eyes. “Now that would be giving away the military connection from the get-go, don’t you think?” he drawled.

She narrowed her eyes, refusing to let him intimidate her. “So you were working undercover, were you?” she said, pleased with herself for making the connection.

But his eyes turned a stormy-gray. “Not lately,” he said shortly. “I was doing some time in a terrorist prison camp—as a detainee. And believe me, we were happy to get taro root. It was the fat, squishy insects that made you gag.”

She gazed at him, not sure if he was still pulling the wool over her eyes or not. He seemed awfully serious. She decided to play along, regardless. “So that was why you said you had forgotten how to live like a civilized person?”

He nodded. “I felt I needed to get back in the groove. So I decided to try out all the modern conveniences I hadn’t ever used before, all at once.” His quick grin was self-deprecating and it left as suddenly as it had appeared. “Like I thought I could get the learning curve over with faster that way. As you can see, it didn’t work very well.”

“Okay,” she told him sensibly. “So start over, only this time do one thing a day until you’ve mastered it.”

He was shaking his head. “No time,” he said. “I’ve got to learn fast. I’m going to need it all very soon.”

She smiled. “Because you rented a nice little house with appliances?”

He didn’t smile back. “No. Something more important than that.”

She waited for a moment, but he didn’t elaborate. She couldn’t imagine what it might be, but she was curious. In fact, she was becoming more and more interested in this gorgeous, compelling man. There was no use trying to pretend. For the first time in years, she’d met a man who not only made her pulse dance, but made her think warm thoughts of all kinds.

Ordinarily that would make her back away and find an excuse to be somewhere else. But she couldn’t do that with Jake Martin. She was starting to wish she could think of a reason to ask him over for dinner.

Wait. She had the perfect reason.

His house had practically exploded that afternoon. He couldn’t go back there until something was done about the mess. So she wouldn’t feel hesitant about asking him over—even if it was to her sister’s house. She smiled again and waited for a chance to get an invitation in.

But meanwhile, there was the question of that important thing that made him want to learn how to run a house.

“Am I supposed to guess what it is?” she asked.

She was almost flirting now. Maybe she ought to hold that back for the time being. She’d forgotten how much fun it could be—that little surge of electricity as your eyes met his—that little bobble of excitement in your chest. Flirting. She was going to have to work on it a bit, but it could be an asset. She bit her lower lip and waited for an answer.

“No, of course not,” he said, his blue eyes sparkling. “Sorry to be so secretive, but there are reasons.”

“Go ahead,” she said recklessly. “You can tell me anything.”

He hesitated, looking at her as though trying to decide if he could trust her.

She smiled, trying to look trustworthy.

He shrugged. “Okay, I’ll tell you why.” He leaned forward so that he could speak more confidentially. “I’m about to become a father. And I’ve got to learn how to take care of my little girl as quickly as I can.”

CHAPTER TWO

SARA GAZED AT Jake, amazed. A little girl—just like Savannah. Funny how similar their stories seemed to be. Maybe he was adopting his little girl, the same way she was adopting hers. Or maybe—she glanced at his hand, looking for a ring and he noted her interest with a crooked grin.

“No, I’m not married,” he said. “But I do have a little girl and in a few days, she’ll be with me. I’ve got to be ready to take care of her. I’ve got to learn all this stuff.”

“Of course you do.”

She smiled at him. Finally there was a flicker of warmth in his eyes and it had to be because he was talking about his baby. She knew the feeling. She’d considered herself a career woman for years until Savannah had come into her life. And now her entire reality was totally focused on that child.

She leaned forward, wanting to know all about it but not wanting to seem too nosy. She thought of her own nine-month-old baby, and her smile widened. He was in for such joy if his experience was even half as rewarding as hers had been.

Savannah had been the child of her younger half sister. After Kelly died in a car accident, Sara had volunteered to take her. She’d been reluctant at first. She and her sister Jill hadn’t had any contact with Kelly for a long time and knew nothing about her baby. Besides, Sara was about to make a major step forward in her career, a job that would take all her time.

But in the end, the baby came first.

Now she couldn’t even remember that struggle to decide very clearly. Her very existence revolved around this baby she’d only had for less than six months. She couldn’t imagine life without her. In just a few minutes she would get a chance to tell Jake all about her. The anticipation made her smile.

“I’ve always been a quick study in my line of work,” Jake said. “And since I didn’t know anything, I decided the best thing to do would be to just start teaching myself how to cook and to clean and all the rest. Just go ahead and jump in with both feet. So today was the day.” He threw his head back and groaned. “Disaster.”

She had to admit that was pretty accurate. “Think of it as a learning experience,” she told him. “I think you need more planning ahead of time. And maybe lessons would help.”

“Lessons.” He nodded, thinking that over. “Maybe you could teach me a few more tricks?” He looked at her, his face endearingly pathetic.

“Why not?”

That was her first, exuberant reaction, but it only took seconds to make her wonder what the heck she thought she was getting into. Her interior watchdog was yelling, “No, no, no, no!” That was exactly what she’d programmed it to do if she was ever in danger of falling for a man again. But she was very tempted to ignore it. Maybe her luck had changed. How would she ever know if she didn’t try?

“So tell me about your little girl,” she said, wondering if it would be a good time to ask him what his dinner plans were. Maybe not. Better wait another ten minutes or so. “How old is she? When did you see her last?”

He frowned. “I think she’s about nine months old,” he said. “I think that’s what they told me.”

Nine months. That was the same as Savannah. “You’re adopting her?” Sara asked.

But he shook his head. “No. She’s mine. I just didn’t know about her until I got released from the camp and sent home to the States.”

Somewhere deep inside, very near her heart, a new warning was beginning to send a small, nervous signal to her brain. She touched her breastbone with her fingers, gently pushing as though she could push the feeling back. But it just got stronger. Something wasn’t quite right here.

But that was silly. She had no real reason to think that at all. He was telling her the facts as he knew them—why would that be threatening? She was being ridiculous. Probably because she wasn’t used to talking to men like this.

“What’s your baby’s name?”

He shook his head. “Funny thing is, they never told me that. I guess I’ll be able to name her whatever I want.”

“So you’ve never seen her?”

“No.” His smile was brilliant. “But I’ve seen pictures, and she’s a beauty—a little blonde with dark eyes and the biggest smile I’ve ever seen.”

Sara was feeling sick. She wasn’t sure why. But something was beginning to feel very wrong. Why did everything he said seem to have such a close resemblance to her Savannah?

Stop it, she told herself. That’s crazy. What he is describing is the picture of almost any little nine-month-old girl. Don’t let your imagination carry you away. Just stop it!

“What happened to her mother?” she asked, surprised to hear how raspy her voice sounded.

He shook his head. “She’s out of the picture,” was all he said.

What did that mean? That she didn’t want the child? That she didn’t want a relationship with Jake? That she was an unfit mother and he had to take over? It could mean a thousand things. It could also mean—no, she didn’t want to go there.

“So they’ve told you that your baby is all yours?” she asked, feeling breathless. “Are you taking possession of her here? Or …?”

He grimaced. “Actually I’m not supposed to be here yet. I found out where she’s staying and I came to get as close to her as I could. I want to be ready to go, as soon as the paperwork is all taken care of. We’ve just got to tie up a few loose ends, and I’ll be taking custody of her.”

As close to her as he could. Yeah, next door was pretty close. Pure, cold, electric panic was beginning to shiver through her system. It couldn’t be. Could it?

“You said the mother is out of the picture,” she repeated. Her voice sounded so strange and her mouth was so dry. “Permanently?”

He looked at her curiously, as though wondering why she cared. “Yes. She died in a car accident.”

“Oh. I’m so sorry.” Her words came automatically, but her hand rose and covered her mouth. Inside, she was screaming.

“Me, too.” He shrugged. “But I really didn’t know her very well. And now I’ve found she left me this wonderful gift.” He shook his head. “Life is crazy, isn’t it?”

“Yes.”

She had to go. She had to get out of here. Maybe she was taking this completely wrong, but there were too many things that seemed to lead right to her situation—to her baby. It couldn’t be. Oh, please, don’t let it be …

She began to gather her clipboard and purse, preparing to make her escape.

“You know the neighborhood pretty well, don’t you?” he was asking.

What? She blinked at him. It was almost as though he was speaking a foreign language. But she took a deep breath and forced herself to settle down and translate to her frightened mind.

“I … I’ve lived here for three years, but I traveled a lot on business. So, no, I guess I can’t claim to know the neighborhood really well. Why?”

“I was just wondering if you knew a woman named Sara Darling.”

There it was—as though a huge gong of doom had been rung in her head. It was still ringing, echoing back and forth, deafening her. This was it. Everything she’d been dreading was coming down on her and she had to go. She began to tremble uncontrollably. She looked around, ready to run.

But at the same time, she couldn’t give it all away. She couldn’t let him know. She needed time to get away. So she tried to smile.

“Sara Darling?” Sara could hardly get the name out of her dry mouth. “I, uh, well, no, I …”

Ordinarily she would be laughing and explaining how he’d had her name wrong from the beginning, and that she was Sara Darling herself. But that didn’t happen. She couldn’t let him know who she really was. The shock of his question had pierced her heart and it was going to take some time to right herself again.

“She’s supposed to be living next door to the house I rented,” he went on, “but I’ve been there for two days and I haven’t seen a sign of her.”

“Oh.” Calm down, Sara, she was telling herself. You’ve got to make it through this. Calm down.

She had to go. She had to get out of here. Her heart was pounding so hard, she was sure he had to hear it.

“Hey, I’m sorry,” she said quickly as she slid out of the booth. “I just remembered something I have to do. Thanks so much for the pie. I’ll … I’ll see you around.”

She didn’t stop to see how he took her sudden departure. She just went, walking quickly through the tiny café, then breaking into a run as she hit the street.

By the time Sara reached her sister’s house at the top of the hill overlooking the ferry landing, she thought her lungs would burst.

“Sara, what is it?” Jill called, seeing her entrance from the kitchen where she was baking. “What on earth is the matter?”

She rushed out to greet her and Sara clung to her, trying to catch her breath.

“Where’s Savannah?” she choked out as soon as she could speak.

“In her bed. She’s still taking her nap.” Jill frowned. “Honey, she’s okay. What’s wrong?” “Nothing. I just … nothing.”

Jill shrugged, searching her face. “Well, go ahead and check on her, but I just was up there getting the twins ready to go outside and play and she was snoozing away.”

Sara nodded and started for the stairs.

“Oh, you had a couple of phone calls,” Jill called after her. “One was from the Children’s Home Agency. They wanted you to call back right away.”

Sara turned to look at her. “Did you write down the number?”

“Of course. It’s right by the phone.” Jill frowned. “Sara, you don’t look good. What’s the matter?”

Sara held up her hand. “I’ll tell you later. Right now, I’ve got to call the agency.”

“Sure.” Jill nodded, though she still looked concerned. “I’ll be in the kitchen. I’ve got an order of Bundt cakes that need to go out by six.”

Sara waved her off, turned to the phone and found the paper with the number on it. She dialed it quickly and got through to a real live agent almost immediately.

“We’ve been trying to get hold of you for the last few days,” an agent named Linda told her. “You really must keep in better contact. If you’re going to be away, you must let us know.”

“Sorry. I’m sorry. I’ll take care of it next time.” Sara tried to stop her heart from racing so wildly. “Is there … is there something wrong?”

There was a pause and it nearly killed her. She put her hand over her heart and waited, trying to keep her breathing even.

“Well, I’m afraid something has happened,” the woman said at last. “You’ve been doing so well with your quest to adopt little Savannah.”

“My … my sister’s child,” Sara said, as though that was going to help her win.

“Yes, of course. But you see, there is a problem. Her, uh, her biological father seems to have turned up.”

Sara closed her eyes and fought back the urge to vomit. The very thing she’d been afraid of from the beginning now filled her with a terrible dread.

“Are you sure?” she said, her voice raspy, her throat tight. “How can we know he’s telling the truth?”

“DNA tests are being performed. We’ll know the facts soon enough.”

Soon enough. Soon enough. What was the woman talking about?

“But … I’ve done everything. I’ve met all the standards. I’m in the process of adopting her right now… .”

“You do know that a DNA match will be determinative, don’t you? If he can prove that he is her father, well, there’s not much we can do.”

Sara couldn’t speak. She rocked back and forth, holding tightly. Tears were streaming down her face.

“Now don’t you give up hope, my dear,” the woman was saying. “The DNA might not match. And even if it does, he might decide he is unprepared to take on such a huge responsibility as raising a child on his own. But we do have to come to a conclusion, one way or another, before we can move forward.”

“What’s his name?” she asked, barely holding herself together.

“His name? Oh. Well, I guess I can tell you that. Jake Martin. He’s been away in the military and didn’t know that Savannah had been born. Or so he says.”

She nodded. She wanted to say more, but she would begin to cry in earnest if she tried.

“I do have to warn you,” the voice said, sounding tentative now. “Something happened the last time he was in here. You see, it seems he may have taken a file folder that included your address. It would be completely against regulations to give him your address, of course. But as the file has been missing since his visit … well … I thought you ought to be warned. He might try to contact you.”

“Yes,” she whispered. “He might.” The woman was still talking, but Sara hung up the phone.

She had things to do. She was going to take her baby and run for shelter.

“Be calm,” she repeated to herself over and over, breathing in through her nose and out through her mouth. “Remember how you were this afternoon in the crazy kitchen. You can do this. You can make it happen. But you have to stay calm.”

They could do it. They would go to a new place and they would hide until the coast was clear, and then … She didn’t know what would happen then. But there was no way she was giving up her baby to that … man.

She dashed upstairs and pulled out two travel bags. Working fast, she began to throw clothes into one, baby supplies into the other. They were going to run.

She looked into the crib where Savannah was sleeping. Her beautiful, beautiful baby. For just a moment she filled her heart with the look of her, her round baby cheeks, her perfect eyebrows, her adorable wisp of blond hair. Everything in her ached for this child. To hand her over? To never see her sweet face again? No! She could not, would not—give her up.

And then Jill was in the doorway.

“Sara! What are you doing?”

Sara shook her head and refused to meet her sister’s gaze. “Sorry, Jill. We’ve got to get out of here.” She threw some little romper suits into the bag.

Jill grabbed her by the shoulders. “Why? Tell me what’s going on.”

Sara blinked back tears. “No time.”

“Sara!”

“Okay, okay.” She took a deep breath. “There’s this man who is renting the Lancaster place next to me. His name is Jake Martin. He claims he’s Savannah’s father.”

Jill gasped. “Oh, Sara! No.”

“Yes. And he wants her.” She set her jaw. “But I won’t let him take her. I’m going to go.”

“But, Sara, where?”

“Away. As far as we can go. Jill, you do see that I have to do this?”

But Jill was shaking her head. “No,” she said softly. “Oh, Sara, no. You can’t run. What good will it do? They’ll find you. You won’t get away. It’s too dangerous. Stay here. We’ll see what we can do. Maybe Connor will know someone …”

“Jill, he’s here. He’s looking for her right now. I have to go.”

“No!”

“Jill, listen to me. You’re the one who talked me into taking this baby. I didn’t want to do it. But I saw the light and I did my duty to our sister Kelly. I took her baby. I put all my heart and soul into loving her, caring for her, making her feel cherished and safe. And now you want me to just give her up to some crazy man who doesn’t have the slightest idea on how to take care of a child? No. I won’t do it. I’m going.”

“Wait until Connor gets home,” Jill insisted. Pulling out her cell phone, she punched in her husband’s number. “Wait. He’ll have an idea. I know he will. We can all work on this together.”

Sara didn’t waste any more time talking. She pulled Savannah into her arms and headed for the changing table. Quickly she changed the diaper as her baby began to wake up and look around, cooing happily as she always did when she saw her mother’s face. Sara pulled on a little playsuit and wrapped her in a blanket, then grabbed the suitcases and headed to the door.

She could hear her sister talking to Connor, giving him the facts and urging him to get home fast. But she couldn’t wait for that. As she rushed out the door, her main fear was that Jake would already be coming up the hill to Jill’s house. She looked quickly, but there was no sign of him, and relief surged in her heart. If she could get to the ferry before he found her, they just might make it. She strapped her baby into the car seat and off they went.

A good twenty minutes of high anxiety passed before sanity began to creep back into Sara’s thinking. She was on the ferry by then, parked behind six cars and in front of two others and gliding across the water. The wait to board had seemed to go on forever. She’d sat behind the wheel, scanning the landscape, staring into her rearview mirror, jumping every time a new man appeared anywhere near.

But he didn’t show up. They opened the gates and let her onto the ferry, and still she didn’t see him anywhere. They started off across the bay and as time passed, she began to breathe again. Seattle lay off in the distance. Her thoughts had centered around losing themselves in the big city. As she calmed down, she began to realize how senseless that was.

Savannah was fussing a bit and she turned to reach out for her little hand. She hadn’t thought to bring some snacks for her but she did have some fresh bottles. Once they got to the other side, she would pull over in a park she knew of and take care of that.

Looking at her adorable child, it came to her in a flash. This was crazy. It was a fantasy—a huge leap out into the great unknown without a safety net. In the modern world there were very few places where you could hide—especially if you were taking a baby with you. You had to have a way to make a living. You had to have someone to watch the baby while you did that. You had to have a place to live in. And all those things required identification. They would be found in no time.

It wouldn’t work. She was endangering the welfare of her baby in order to keep control—and losing all control by doing it. This was nuts. Jill had been right. She was going to have to go back.

Her heart sank. She knew it was a sort of defeat. But at the same time, it was only recognizing reality. A thousand things could go wrong, and most of them might hurt Savannah. What had she been thinking? She couldn’t risk it.

A sense of doom swept over her, catching in her throat, but she fought it back. There were other ways to fight this. It might take a bit of finesse, a talent for persuasion and a touch for manipulation. But she’d been there before.

Jake Martin wasn’t domesticated. He was a wild man. He lived unconventionally. There was nothing in his background or experience that had prepared him to take care of a baby. Surely the powers in the agency would see that. Surely that would go into their decision-making. Or was biology all that mattered?

There was one counselor who had been very helpful to her before, a Mrs. Truesdale. She’d taken a special interest in getting Savannah settled with Sara and had said to call her if there were any problems. That was the one she should have talked to. Maybe she could help.