Four Weddings

She picked up some jackfruit. ‘You weren’t bad yourself. The brain is a wonderful thing, isn’t it? Stuff you think you’ve forgotten comes flooding back.’ She stared at him, her violet eyes blazing with the light of a job well done. ‘You were with me every step of the way. You have no idea how much that helped me.’

He wanted to sink into those eyes, into that passion she had for life. Embrace it. Embrace her. ‘I didn’t do that much. It’s a shame Rebecca isn’t a boy’s name.’

She laughed. ‘I think Tom Monahan Phillips-Lee is a very respectable name for a boy. He has such a great birth story. He’ll grow up being told over and over, “You were born in a Buddhist nunnery.” It will go down in the family annals and be a much more exciting story than the sanitised conditions of the French hospital in Ho Chi Minh City.’

She sighed. ‘My story was pretty dull. Born at one o’clock on a Saturday afternoon at King Edward Hospital. My parents couldn’t even remember what the weather was like.’

‘At least you have a story.’ The words came out uncensored.

She gazed at him, her voice soft but firm. ‘So do you.’

‘How do you figure that?’ Irritation sizzled inside him at her lack of understanding.

‘You’re part of history. You arrived in Australia and your parents chose you. They saw something in you that opened their hearts.’ She leaned forward. ‘I bet they told you over and over when you were little the story of how they came to choose you. Why they bypassed other orphans and loved you.’

‘Yes, they did.’ Her words chafed, their truth diluting his experience. ‘But I don’t have a birth story. I have no idea where I was born.’

‘You know you were born in Vietnam, in the south, during a war. I doubt it was a hospital. I like to imagine it was somewhere like this.’ She reached out and briefly touched his arm, her eyes full of serenity. ‘A peaceful place where your mother found refuge in uncertain times.’

His throat tightened. How had she managed to describe his thoughts? When he’d held baby Tom and stared down into his enormous eyes, which peered at him from under a fuzz of black hair, he’d had a sense of déjà vu. Crazy thoughts. ‘I think you’re having flights of fancy.’

She narrowed her eyes at him. ‘You’ve had the same thoughts. I saw them on your face when you held Tom. You sensed something in his eyes.’ She placed her hands over his. ‘I think that’s fine. If it helps you, believe that.’

He wanted to believe. But he was a scientist and he dealt in facts. He pulled his hands away. ‘The reality is probably far removed from this.’

‘Or it could be really close.’ Her insistent words hammered at him.

His jaw clenched. ‘Facts are the only thing that will help.’

She raised her brows. ‘I disagree. My imagination helped me to survive in my father’s house. If this place helps you then weave it into a set of “possible maybes” for your own birth.’

‘Next you’ll be going all mystical on me.’

‘Hey, you’re sounding very Western and we’re in Asia.’ A cheeky grin streaked across her face. ‘I’m going to light some incense before we leave to mark Tom’s birth.’

An unfamiliar dreamy look floated in the depths of her eyes. ‘He’s so cute. I bet you looked a lot like baby Tom when you were born.’

‘You going all clucky on me, Bec?’ Teasing her was easier than dealing with the strange sensation in his gut when she talked about babies.

She suddenly stiffened. ‘No. Motherhood isn’t for me. I wouldn’t trust a relationship enough to bring a child into it.’

An overwhelming sadness crept through him that this gorgeous woman had settled on being alone and was not reaching out for what every woman deserved. ‘So you’re going to hide from relationships because of your parents and one failed attempt when you were an immature girl?’

Her face blanched, her skin tightening over her cheekbones. ‘That’s pretty rich, coming from you. You’re hiding behind all that “commitment” nonsense. You’ve put your life on hold until you find your mother.’

Indignation surged inside him. ‘It takes a lot of energy to search. It wouldn’t be fair to any woman when my focus can’t be on the relationship.’

Her relentless gaze bored into him. ‘And what if you never find your mother?’

Like bullets from a gun, the truth of eight small words shattered his heart. He refused to think about that.

CHAPTER EIGHT

AFTER BEING IN the countryside, the full-on hustle of Hanoi hit Bec like a ton of bricks. They’d flown in from Hué. Now the regional city suddenly seemed like a peaceful, rural village in comparison with chaotic Hanoi.

Their driver abruptly changed lanes, narrowly missing a bicycle so laden with fresh flowers that the woman riding it was barely visible. He then headed south around Hoan Kiem Lake.

Tom stretched, his long arms hitting the ceiling of the vehicle. Deep lines of fatigue surrounded his eyes. ‘Won’t be long now. It will be good to be home again for a while.’ He gave her a grin, his eyes dancing cheekily. ‘You can have that bubble bath you wanted.’

She sighed in anticipation. ‘I can. And I plan to.’ She turned to face him, stifling a giggle, trying to ace him on his friendly flirting. ‘So take this as advance warning—the bathroom will be occupied and out of bounds for at least an hour.’ She raised her brows. ‘And the door will be locked.’

He stroked his chin, deep in contemplation. ‘Take as long as you like. I’ll be busy.’

‘Really?’ She’d thought he’d at least take the rest of the day to recover before dealing with outstanding issues tomorrow.

‘Yep. This job can’t wait. While you’re having a bath, I’ll be fixing the cracked bathroom window.’

‘You devil.’ She gave him a gentle push. ‘I’ll have you know I have industrial-strength bubbles.’

He laughed. ‘In that case, I could be up the ladder a long time.’

His arm gently rested across the back of the seat, his fingers barely brushing her shoulder.

She relaxed her head against his arm, a sense of contentment washing through her. She knew his teasing meant nothing and he had no plans to watch her take a bath. She couldn’t believe she could exchange banter with a man like this and be safe. But Tom not only made her feel safe but protected. She felt sheltered in his friendship, she enjoyed the fact that with him she could let her guard down and be herself.

So much had changed in a short time. It was hard to comprehend that it had only been five weeks ago that she’d begged him to take her with him on the trip. The cholera outbreak had extended the entire journey by an extra three weeks but now her ‘Vietnam orientation’ was coming to an end.

Tom had been very quiet on the flight back. An unusual tension seemed to surround him. But she hadn’t pushed him about it. She didn’t feel like talking, either. Everything was about to change.

The time she’d spent with him in villages dotted across Vietnam had been brilliant. The best times of your life.

The unwanted thoughts wove into her, making themselves part of her with their clawing sadness. Today it would all come to an end. Tom would continue with his work and she had to make a decision about how best to use her money.

The dull throb under her ribs kicked into action, its ache becoming painfully familiar. She breathed in deeply, trying to empty her mind. Right now she didn’t want to think about any of it.

The driver pulled up outside the ornate iron gates of the villa and quickly unloaded their gear. Tien met them at the door with cold, damp towels and deliciously refreshing iced lemon and lime juice diluted with mineral water.

‘Oh, I think I’m in heaven.’ Bec smiled at Tien, enjoying the coolness of the towel on her face and hands.

‘Tom!’ A man with bright red hair, glinting golden in the sunshine, bounded down the curved, terrazzo staircase, his energy filling the room. ‘Mate, it’s great to see you.’ He shook Tom’s hand enthusiastically with his right hand and thumped him on the back with his left.

What was it about men and their overwhelmingly physical greetings? Bec almost expected him to finish off the welcome by putting Tom in a headlock.

‘Jason. How was the holiday?’ Tom extricated his hand from the man’s enthusiastic grip.

‘Fantastic. Caught up with the rels, and then I rode a 750 cc bike across the Nullarbor and soaked up the space. I didn’t realise how much I missed the wide open spaces of Australia or the low population, but after a year in Vietnam, it was the tonic I needed.’

His voice suddenly deepened, its tone becoming serious. ‘You should visit the farm soon, Tom. Don’t leave it too long.’ Without waiting for a reply, he turned quickly and faced Bec, his expression open and questioning.

‘Jason, meet Bec Monahan.’ Tom made the introductions.

‘Ah!’ Recognition sparked in his blue eyes. ‘You’re the nurse with a plan and the money to execute it. We need to talk.’ He shot out his hand.

Bec grasped it. ‘So you’re the Jason Tom suggested I speak to.’

‘That’s me.’ His eyes twinkled with a wicked glint. ‘But Tom quickly whisked you off to far-flung places before we could talk.’

‘You were in Australia at the time.’ Tom’s voice came out in an uncharacteristic growl. ‘She needed to experience the health issues firsthand before she could make a decision. That’s why she came on the trip.’

A flicker of a frown creased Jason’s brow as he glanced quickly at Tom before focusing his attention back on Bec. ‘I’m very keen to sit down and talk to you in detail about all the projects Health For Life is involved in or wishes to be involved in.’ All signs of the Aussie lad had vanished. Jason had his professional, philanthropic hat on, and his sincerity shone through.

Excitement fizzed in her veins. ‘I’d really like that. I have a few ideas I want to run by you before I interview other agencies.’

‘Fantastic.’ He pulled out a palm-top. ‘Now—’

Tom interrupted. ‘She needs some time to catch her breath, Jason. We’ve worked flat out for five weeks in rough conditions. Right now we both need some time out. Surely tomorrow would be soon enough to talk.’

Jason’s brows rose sharply at Tom’s protective tone. ‘Actually, I was going to suggest we set a date next week because tomorrow neither of you will be here.’

‘What?’ Bec and Tom’s voices harmonised in surprise.

Jason grinned at them. ‘The X-ray machine finally arrived for the provincial hospital in Hon Gin.’

‘Sensational!’ Tom exclaimed. He turned to Bec, his face alive with exhilaration. ‘We’ve been working toward this for this for a long time. Hon Gin is a coalmining town, and the streets are literally paved in coal and the air is filled with coal dust.’

Understanding dawned. ‘And many locals have pneumoconiosis. But why does that mean we’re not going to be here tomorrow?’

‘There’s going to be an official handing-over ceremony of the machine on Wednesday and the people’s committee of the province always like to have a doctor at such an occasion.’ Jason tilted his head. ‘So that means Tom has to go. In fact, they like a crowd and as you’ve given your time so generously to Health For Life over the last five weeks, the Health For Life board would like you to accompany Tom to the ceremony.’

It means more time with Tom.

She shook away the unprofessional thought. Accepting the invitation on those grounds was hardly ethical. ‘That’s very kind of you, but I haven’t had anything to do with raising funds for the machine so surely someone else should attend. Wouldn’t it be a bit odd for me to be there?’

Jason shrugged. ‘No, not at all. We’re helping the committee keep face. The more the merrier. We’re not a huge organisation and as I’ve only just got back from leave and the other doctors are busy, it makes sense for the two of you to go.’

She glanced at Tom, trying to gauge how he felt about the idea of her accompanying him, but his face was devoid of all expression. It’s just work, part of the job. Part of his job.

‘You’d really be helping us out,’ Jason implored her.

His words eased her guilty pleasure at wanting to spend more time with Tom. After all, it was work, not pleasure.

‘Sure. Happy to help.’

‘Wonderful. OK, I’d better get back to work and you’ll want to do some washing and repack. The driver will pick you both up at 8.30 in the morning.’ Jason turned to leave.

‘Hang on,’ Tom called across the foyer. ‘Tomorrow’s Tuesday.’

‘Didn’t you say the ceremony was on Wednesday?’ Bec’s words collided with Tom’s.

Jason spun back, a suppressed smile hovering on his face. ‘Part of the thank-you package from the people’s committee in Hon Gin was a private overnight cruise on one of the many Halong Bay boats.’

Bec’s mouth dried at the thought of being alone on a boat overnight with Tom. Not that she feared him. Not at all. She feared herself. ‘But—’

‘You have to go.’ Jason threw her a stern look. ‘It would be extremely rude not to take up the hospitality, and keeping face here is everything.’ Then his face split into a wide smile. ‘Remember to pack your bathers.’ He walked off chuckling.

‘Halong Bay is a world heritage listed area, Bec.’ Tom’s voice broke into her chaotic thoughts. ‘Every Vietnamese longs to visit. The scenery is breathtaking.’

She knew it would be. Tom in bathers, his golden chest exposed to sunlight … now, that would be breath-stopping. Dealing with it would be something else entirely.

* * *

‘Just as well it’s a digital camera.’ Tom laughed as Bec snapped her camera at yet another one of the three thousand jagged, spectacular limestone karsts, which rose majestically from aquamarine-coloured water. ‘I think you’ll find you have a hundred photos of much the same thing.’

‘Philistine. Besides, everyone needs a photo of the teapot.’ She aimed her camera toward the oddly shaped karst with its outcrops of rock that did look like a teapot spout. Then she swung around and took a photo of him, her face alive with excitement.

His body vibrated with heat. She had no idea of the effect she had on him. How he breathed more deeply when she was close, just to get the scent of her. How he created reasons to touch her and made them appear platonic. How the sound of her laughter made everything around him seem brighter, and that her empathy for Vietnam connected her to him like no other person.

The deities were mocking him, sending her into his life now. She deserved a man’s love and undivided attention. He couldn’t offer her that. And he couldn’t ask her for anything else. Friendship was all they had and yet it was nothing like any friendship he’d ever experienced.

The hum of the boat’s engine lulled them into a lazy haze of relaxation as they puttered around the karsts, and in and out of small bays.

‘I have no idea how the captain knows where he’s going. It all looks the same to me.’ Bec leaned over the teak railing, breathing out a sigh of satisfaction. ‘This is the most amazing place I’ve ever been to. I love the idea of the legend that a dragon’s tail carved out the bays.’

‘See over there.’ Tom extended his right arm.

‘See what?’ She peered ahead.

Leaning in close he dropped his left hand onto her shoulder and lifted her right arm to point in the correct direction. ‘Look along there, a third of the way up the karst.’

‘Oh, I see. Is that a cave where the greenery stops and the grey starts?’

He nodded. ‘That’s right.’ He forced his voice to sound casually friendly even though he desperately wanted to pull her into his chest and trail kisses along the curve of her neck. ‘There are vast caves all around this area. They’ve been used for all sorts of things. The French used them as cool storage for food before exporting around the world and the Vietnamese used them as training areas and hospitals for wounded soldiers, but the most amazing story of all is that Kublai Khan, the Mongolian emperor, was defeated here, using the high tide and bamboo sticks.’

‘That’s pretty awesome. So, it’s a significant area for lots of reasons. I read in the guide book that one cave is a temple for fertility.’

‘Yeah, but that particular piece of rock where people worship doesn’t look anything like a teapot.’ He dropped his arm from her shoulder, immediately missing the contact.

A small sampan passed by with a woman and three young children on board. Bec smiled and waved. ‘Looks like the fertility cave is doing its job.’

He gave a wry smile. ‘There are plenty of kids in Vietnam. We have one of the youngest populations in the world.’

Bec continued waving to the children, her gaze fixed on them. ‘What about you? Do you plan to add to the number?’

Her question came out of left field, assaulting his defences. He immediately deflected the question.

‘Mum would love to be a grandmother. She’s never happier than when she’s up to her elbows in play dough, paint and glitter glue.’ He laughed. ‘She’s still working as a kinder assistant to get her fix. Dad teases her but he’s just as bad. He enjoys teaching some of the wayward kids woodwork and he gets them down in the milking shed, mucking out. He reckons there’s nothing quite like getting kids working with animals to help them see the world in a new light.’

Bec’s expression took on a dreamy look. ‘I bet your mum baked cakes and helped out in the classroom.’ Her voice suddenly dropped in volume. ‘And your dad watched you play sport, and insisted on teaching you how to change the tractor oil.’

Somehow she made the ordinary, everyday things of his childhood sound extraordinary. An incredibly clear image of his dad suddenly projected itself into his memory—Dad walking into the kitchen from the milking shed, a broad smile on his weather-beaten face, a billy of creamy milk in one hand and his other hand raised in greeting. An unexpected wave of homesickness rolled through him.

The boat dropped anchor, the rumble of the chain loud in the silence.

‘Tom, you avoided answering my question.’

Her firm voice broke into his thoughts. She’d pinned him down and he knew her well enough now to know it was easier to just answer. He shrugged. ‘I don’t know if I’ll have kids. I have no medical history so I could be passing on a genetic illness.’

Her violet eyes flashed with disbelief. ‘You’re not serious?’

He kept his voice steady, belying the ire that streaked through him. ‘Why wouldn’t I be serious?’

Concentration lines appeared on the bridge of her nose. ‘I understand that as an adoptee you have no idea of your parents’ medical history, but many of us don’t have much of a clue. My mother died when I was too young to have asked the questions and I was estranged from my father. My aunt has some idea but I have a black hole on my father’s side.’

‘And doesn’t it worry you that you could carry a predisposition to a genetic illness?’ He folded him arms across his chest.

‘Doesn’t it worry you that this boat could sink right now?’

‘That’s hardly a comparison.’ He heard his ‘I’m the doctor, I know best’ tone. The one that made his mother purse her lips.

Bec raised her brows and matched his crossed-arms stance. ‘Yes, it is. You’re saying you want certainty but nothing is certain in life. This boat could sink on this trip but you took the trip anyway.’

Her logic chafed like prickly heat. ‘Right, so your decision not to have children based on not risking a relationship is more valid than mine based on a lack of scientific data.’

A tremor of tension raced across her shoulders. ‘I think you’re living your life based on facts, and facts don’t always give the true picture. What about the fact you could be giving a child the most wonderful grandparents?’

Frustration bubbled in his veins. He spun away from her. ‘Don’t romanticise my childhood.’

‘Why not? From where I’m standing, it sounds pretty good to me.’

Her words tore at him. Her childhood had been far from good. He turned back. She stood small and determined, her chin jutting forward, her lips plump and firm and her breasts straining against her shirt.

All his indignation fled.

The need to protect clashed with the need to haul her against him and kiss her senseless. Think friendship. ‘We’re spending the day in one of the most beautiful places in the world so why are we disagreeing?’

She wrinkled her nose. ‘You’re right.’

He feigned surprise. ‘Can I have that in writing?’

She rolled her eyes. ‘No such luck, but I will concede that Halong Bay deserves nothing less than harmony and understanding.’

‘And swimming.’ They needed to have some fun and put their differences aside. ‘The crew have taken a picnic over to that little beach you can see. They’ve left food, towels and kayaks. We’ve got a few hours while they take a siesta here on the boat.’ As he pulled his T-shirt over his head, he talked through the fabric. ‘It’s a tradition to enter the water from the deck of the boat and swim to the beach.’

He raised his head as he dropped the shirt to the deck. Eyes like large purple pools met his gaze, backlit with swirling emotions.

His solar plexus took a hit. Raw, intense need pounded him as he glimpsed desire emerging from the swirl in her eyes.

She swallowed as a flare of fear darkened her eyes.

Fool. ‘Can’t you swim?’

She shook her head. ‘Oh, no, I can swim. I’m a good Aussie girl and was dispatched to swimming lessons from the age of five.’

‘Great.’ He gave her a reassuring smile. ‘Well, there’s no need to be scared of the jump. I’ll go first and demonstrate.’ He climbed quickly to the highest point wanting to kick himself that he’d even thought he’d seen desire in her gaze. It had just been fear at the thought of jumping from the deck of a boat into the water.

She’s your friend. Nothing more, nothing less.

With an almighty whoop he freed his mind from the jumble of clashing emotions and jumped off the boat. Clutching his knees, he embraced the four-metre drop, bombing into the clear water below.

Salty water encased him, the exhilaration of the jump propelling him again to the surface. He pushed his arms forward and swam around the boat, using the exercise to put his libido back in its box. He rounded the stern and looked up.

Bec stood at the highest point of the boat. Two tiny pieces of blue and pink Lycra were moulded to her body, concealing little and emphasising every delicious curve and contour.

Blood raced around his body. Suddenly the water wasn’t anywhere near cold enough.

For weeks she’d hidden her lithe body under baggy trousers and blouses, leaving everything to his imagination. His imagination had failed to do her justice.

Her voice called out, ‘What’s the water like?’

‘Fine.’ Had his voice sounded strangled?

‘So I just jump?’ She peered over the side, nibbling her bottom lip.

His blood pounded faster. Impossibly, even more blood surged to his groin. ‘Yep, it doesn’t matter that you can’t dive, just jump. It’s great fun and there’s nothing to be afraid of. Enjoy the leap, it’s quite cathartic.’ He spread his arms out. ‘I’m right here when you land and I promise I’ll protect you from any lurking dragons.’

‘OK.’ She elongated the word, her hesitancy clear as her voice trailed off. Leaning forward, she extended her arms high above her head, the action pushing her breasts up and out against the flimsy Lycra.

He gave an internal groan.

She flexed her legs and, rising up on her toes, pushed off the deck, executing a perfect dive.

Mesmerised, he watched her taut hands slice through the water, her body following in superb fluid motion, the dive ending with the tiniest flick of water as her toes disappeared under the surface.

Incredulity tangoed with delight. She continued to amaze him in every way. Who would have thought she could dive like a professional?

Kicking up, she broke the surface, teasing devilment on her face. ‘Good dive, was it?’