It’s A Man’s World

‘Offside!’ Alexa found herself yelling. She knew the rules.

‘Fuck off !’ shouted a man, very close to her ear.

Alexa reeled sideways and realised with dismay that the man was Derek.

‘No way was that offside!’ he bellowed aggressively, both hands flying into the air above his stumpy little body. He seemed to be shouting at both the referee and Alexa at once.

Alexa became aware of a movement in the crowd around her. Bodies were shifting, making a clearing around her and Derek.

‘He was offside,’ she stated, calmly.

Alexa knew that she had the upper hand, not only in that she had drunk fewer pints than the deputy editor, but in that she was right. On the TV, a slow-motion replay was indicating, quite clearly, that the Arsenal player had been hanging around by the goal, a long way from the nearest defender.

Derek seemed unperturbed. ‘You’re a woman!’ he yelled. ‘You don’t even understand the offside rule!’

Alexa caught Riz’s eye, incredulous. He nodded at the TV, where the referee was signalling for the goal to be disallowed.

‘That’s bollocks,’ Derek spat in Alexa’s direction as he turned, barging through the ring of onlookers and heading for the bar.

Alexa stood for a moment, waiting for her reflexes to catch up with what had just happened. Adrenaline flooded her veins and she realised that her pint glass was shaking.

‘Wow,’ said Riz, softly. ‘You okay?’

‘Nice one!’ cried somebody behind her, more loudly.

Alexa turned to see a pasty white face framed with ginger hair.

‘Good call,’ said Marcus. He was a Spurs fan, of course. ‘Very good call, Ms Long.’

‘What?’ Alexa frowned. That was the second time tonight she had heard that name.

Riz leaned over, smiling apologetically. ‘It’s your nickname.’

Alexa said it a few times in her head, rolling the words together. Ms Long. Alexa Long. AlexaLong.

‘Oh. Right.’

The shaking began to subside. Alexa let out a shallow breath. For a nickname, she considered, it could have been worse – and besides, it wasn’t the nickname that mattered. What mattered was the fact that one of Derek’s disciples was standing in front of her, grinning from ear to ear and offering her another drink.

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