The Inward Storm

Instead of joining the others in the drawing room she went straight to the kitchen to check on the meal. The vegetables were all prepared ready for cooking when everyone had arrived. Heaving a faint sigh of relief that everything was under control, Kate walked unsteadily into the hall, smoothing slightly damp palms against her hips as she took a deep breath and walked into the drawing room. Conversation stopped. Out of the corner of her eye Kate was aware of Rita regarding her with barely concealed chagrin, Jake at her side, his enigmatical grey glance slicing towards her, warning her that he was not deceived; that he knew she was still the vulnerable child she had always been, despite the trappings of womanhood she was now able to assume.

‘Kate … Kate, you look magnificent,’ Kevin muttered, plainly stunned by her appearance.

‘My dear, you did go overboard, didn’t you?’ Rita said nastily. ‘Did you go down to London especially to buy it? You should be honoured, Jake,’ she told her companion. ‘Kate’s normal attire is jeans and an ancient woolly jumper. Kate runs our local craft shop.’ She made it sound as though she had straws stuck in her hair, Kate thought irefully. ‘She’s also a fantastic cook, unlike poor little me!’ Rita batted her eyelashes winsomely.

‘I bought the dress in London, the last time I went to New York,’ Kate interposed coolly. ‘Another sherry, Rita? You prefer sweet, don’t you?’ Heavens, what was getting into her? Kate wondered. She was being nearly as bitchy as Rita. Fortunately the doorbell rang before the situation could deteriorate any further, and as luck would have it Lisa and Richard had arrived at exactly the same time as the Crabtrees.

‘Kate, this melon is delicious,’ Mary Crabtree enthused when they were halfway through the first course. ‘I’ve never tasted anything like it. By the way, I’ve made Alan promise to buy me one of your lovely jumpers for Christmas, and I mean to make sure he does,’ she added, smiling at her husband. ‘Kate designs the most beautiful jumpers,’ she told Jake who was seated on her right. ‘She sells them in London and New York and has a regular circle of knitters working for her in Ebbdale.’

‘She’s also absolutely anti your power station, darling,’ Rita cut in bitchily. ‘I swear she’d have us all dancing around it like those Greenham Common women if she could, wouldn’t you, Kate?’

‘It’s no secret that I disapprove of missiles being based in this country,’ Kate agreed smoothly, her eyes meeting Jake’s down the length of the table. ‘I’m a firm believer in multilateral disarmament, and I’m sorry if you don’t approve of that, Mr Harvey.’

‘Are you?’ Jake challenged softly. Everyone’s attention seemed to be riveted on her, Kate realised, and she could sense that Rita was furious at this turn of events. Kate knew quite well that the only reason Rita had mentioned her anti-nuclear stance was to draw it to Jake’s attention, not to make Kate the centre of everyone else’s.

‘Well, I for one admire and agree with Kate,’ Lisa was saying. ‘Oh, I know you don’t agree with me, Richard,’ she silenced her husband, ‘but the thought of what could happen if a reactor went wrong gives me the shivers, and I can’t believe that adequate precautions are taken with the transport of nuclear waste. You only have to read the papers …’

‘Yes,’ Kevin broke in eagerly, ‘that’s one aspect of nuclear power that worries me, and it’s one I wanted to bring up with you, Jake. During your predecessor’s time we campaigned hard to tighten up the safety standards, but Henry was a bit of a diehard … Please don’t think we’ve dragged you here tonight to bombard you with arguments and persuasion but if you could spare the time to talk with me about the safety standards …’

‘I am always interested in discussions that could lead to an improvement in that quarter,’ Jake surprised Kate by saying smoothly. ‘In fact at the station I’ve been working on in the States, we found there was a marked decrease in antipathy towards nuclear power once we invited the local people in to see how it works. We ran several tours, gave talks, asked them for their views and thoughts, and set up a working committee comprised of some of our staff and the locals … and you mustn’t lose sight of the fact that these stations often bring work to areas of high unemployment …’

‘Work, ill health and the potential for death,’ Kate interrupted bitterly. He was mesmerising them with his voice, with his reasoned arguments and calm approach, but she wasn’t deceived, not for a moment.

‘That’s a typically female and if you’ll forgive me, rather hysterical reaction,’ Jake countered coolly. ‘Coal mining, engineering, and many other forms of employment are hazardous, but I’ve yet to see a bunch of hysterical women gathered round a pithead screeching for it to be closed.’

‘It isn’t just the manner of the work,’ Kate protested. ‘It’s everything that goes with it!’

‘If you mean missiles, that isn’t the purpose of Ebbdale’s station. It’s a nuclear power station only. Missiles are a separate entity, but again I can’t agree with you. They are a deterrent, whichever way you look at it. In a world of perfect human beings we wouldn’t need them, I’d be the first to agree, but unfortunately when Adam bit into that apple, he absorbed more than the mere knowledge of sex; mankind is its own worst enemy. For centuries we’ve systematically destroyed our planet and our environment …’

‘And now you’re prepared to go one step further and destroy it completely!’

‘Not personally,’ Jake assured her grimly. His mouth had tightened and she recognised the icy sparks glittering from the cold grey eyes. He had changed, she thought, watching him. There were the faint beginnings of grey in the matt darkness of his hair, hair she had loved to ruffle beneath her fingers, to stroke as he made love to her. ‘Try looking at the other side of the coin,’ he advised her harshly. ‘Nuclear power could free this planet from starvation and poverty, third world nations …’

‘Can’t wait to build missiles with it,’ Kate interrupted him huskily, ‘people are expendable, power is not!’

‘Oh, Kate, for goodness’ sake,’ Rita interrupted pouting a smile at Jake, ‘poor Jake came here for a meal, not to be harangued. Honestly, darling, you’d better watch it, you’re turning into a fanatic. Kate’s divorced, you know,’ she confided to Jake, making Kate feel sick inside as she forced herself to look into his implacable face. ‘Poor darling, she does tend to get dreadfully intense at times.’

Kate couldn’t bear to look at Jake. She excused herself stiltedly and rushed into the kitchen, half blinded by the tears of fury she couldn’t suppress. Lisa was behind her, her pretty face pink with sympathy and anger as she closed the kitchen door. ‘What a first-rate bitch Rita is,’ she announced. ‘Personally I’m sure she only did it because she could see how interested Jake was in what you were saying. She’s jealous that she might lose him to you.’

‘There isn’t any danger of that,’ Kate assured her, breathing deeply as she tried to regain control.

‘Oh, I shouldn’t be so sure,’ Lisa argued, helping her to load the heated trolley with the main course. ‘I saw the way he was looking at you, like a very hungry cat faced with a particularly delectable mouse, and Rita saw it too.’

‘Well, she needn’t worry,’ Kate said hardily, ‘He isn’t my type. I prefer men whose compassion isn’t in inverse proportion to their massively inflated male ego!’ She heard Lisa’s indrawn breath, and turned quickly, colour flooding her pale face as she saw Jake standing in the door frame, the look in his eyes telling her that he had overheard every rash word.

‘Ah, Rita was wrong, I see. She seemed to think you had made a bolt for the kitchen to indulge in a fit of feminine tears. As I seemed to have been responsible for causing them I thought it my duty to come and ensure that you weren’t crying saltily into our dinner.’

Kate could tell that Lisa was surprised. She was watching them round-eyed with awe, and Kate supposed that it did seem a highly charged exchange for two people who were only supposed to have met for the first time a couple of hours ago. She wasn’t to know that tears had often been her refuge from the acid lash of Jake’s tongue, during their marriage. She hadn’t cried since he left her, and she certainly wasn’t going to start now.

‘On the contrary, you’ll find your dinner is completely salt-free,’ she told him coolly, ‘it’s far better for one’s health.’

‘Gracious,’ Lisa goggled later when she was helping Kate to remove the main course and bring in the dessert and the cheese, ‘he must have heard every word we said! I can’t think what would have happened if the two of you had been alone.’

‘He’d have strangled me probably,’ Kate admitted with a commendable show of uninterest.

‘Either that or kissed you breathless,’ Lisa agreed.

‘And to think he’s being wasted on Rita! He makes me feel weak at the knees!’ She saw Kate’s hand shake faintly and pounced. ‘Ah, I knew you weren’t as indifferent to him as you seemed. If you want my opinion,’ she added slyly, ‘all that verbal sparring can have only one real conclusion.’

‘Yes,’ Kate agreed, hiding a small smile as she saw the speculation in Lisa’s eyes. ‘One of us is going to run out of words—but I promise you it won’t be me.’

‘Fantastic meal, Kate,’ Alan praised when they had all finished. ‘Kevin is bringing you to the Hunt Ball, isn’t he?’

‘Umm, I asked her last week,’ Kevin confirmed, ‘births and accidents permitting.’ There was general laughter, and Lisa explained to Jake that there hadn’t been a single year when Kevin had managed to stay the entire length of a Hunt Ball, without a call.

‘Do you hunt?’ Alan asked him.

‘I haven’t done, but I do ride.’

‘Well, you’ll have to join us one Saturday.’

‘Don’t forget next Saturday we’ve got a meeting of the Dale Rescue Group,’ Kevin reminded him. ‘Kate, would you take the minutes for us again this time?’

‘I always know winter’s on the way when the Rescue Group starts meeting again,’ Mary sighed. ‘Last year they must have had at least two dozen call-outs over the winter period, mostly from hikers and walkers who simply ask for trouble.’

‘Yes, and we’re one down this year,’ Kevin pointed out. ‘Sid Rowanthorpe has dropped out. He’s coming up for retirement, and he just doesn’t feel he can go on with it, so we’ll have to look round for someone else.’

‘What’s involved exactly?’ Jake asked, and when Kevin briefly explained that they needed an extra team member skilled in climbing and mountaincraft, to act as a stretcher bearer for the more severe accidents, he promptly informed them that he had some experience. ‘I’m not suggesting I’m up to your standards, it’s something I was keen on in my teens, and I’ve spent several holidays in the Alps and the Rockies.’

‘You sound like manna from Heaven,’ Kevin said fervently. ‘Why don’t you come with us on some of our practice climbs? We can see how we all work together as a team.’

Surely she didn’t resent the way Jake was fitting into her circle of friends, Kate thought incredulously a couple of hours later when Alan and Mary made a move to leave. She wasn’t as childish as that? No, she was still suffering from the strain of seeing him after so long. She had been prepared for it, but still it had been an ordeal, something she had had to steel herself for, and now she was feeling the strain.

‘Of course, you won’t be leaving, will you, Kate?’ Rita said sweetly as she stood up. ‘It was so funny when we arrived,’ she said to the room at large. ‘There was Kate still in her bathrobe, trying to fix Kevin’s bow tie …’

‘I’m not staying, Rita,’ Kate said evenly. ‘Kevin was kind enough to let me use his parents’ room to get changed in before dinner, so that I didn’t need to go home.’

‘Honestly, sweetie, it doesn’t matter,’ Rita assured her mock-sweetly. ‘We’re all adults, after all … I mean, it’s not as though you’re still sweet seventeen …’

‘Rita, that’s enough,’ Kevin expostulated, suddenly coming to Kate’s rescue. ‘What you’re suggesting is offensive to Kate, and to me. There’s no need for either of us to indulge in a hole-and-corner affair, and to suggest that we are is an insult to both of us.’

Rita looked put out, but still pulled a face and murmured, ‘Oh, darling, such a fuss about nothing!’

Kate was standing with her back to Jake, and the hair on the back of her neck prickled atavistically as she heard him murmur so quietly that only she could hear, ‘But you’re not, are you, Kate … free, that is? Are you lovers, Kate?’ she heard him ask.

She whirled round, not caring if anyone saw her, or what interpretation they might put on her behaviour. ‘It’s none of your damned business,’ she ground out through compressed lips.

‘Oh, but it is,’ Jake assured her smoothly. ‘You’re still my wife, remember? But you give yourself away, my little Cat,’ he added smoothly, ‘scratching instead of purring. Whatever our good doctor does give you, it isn’t satisfaction.’

‘Jake darling, are you ready?’ Jake was holding her hand and he raised it to his lips as an old-world gesture of courtliness that deceived everyone but Kate, pressing his lips lightly against her vulnerable palm, leaving her so intensely aware of their roughly warm imprint on her skin that she had to fight not to admit the memories that brief touch brought surging to life.

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