Settling Matthew in the center of her bed, then arranging the pillows around him in a protective circle, Megan smiled sadly. He was such a good, sweet baby. But he wasn’t her baby, and he never would be.

Chapter Two

“I told you I’d think about your offer, Bobby, and I’ve been doing just that. But I haven’t made a decision yet,” Jake Cahill stated firmly.

Sitting back in his chair, he propped one boot-shod foot on the edge of his desk. Beyond the window in the wall separating his small office from the rest of the Serenity police station all appeared to be quiet. It was a typical small-town Friday morning early in the month of June.

“We need you back on our team, and the sooner the better,” Bobby Fuentes insisted. “I’ve got a place for you now, but I can’t guarantee how much longer I’ll be able to hold it open. We’ve been working shorthanded for over two months now. I’m starting to get some flack from the higher-ups.”

“Find somebody else, then,” Jake replied, mildly reproving.

There had been a time when he wouldn’t have even dared to think about using such a tone with Bobby. As special agent in charge of the Federal Bureau of Investigation’s Dallas office, the older man had been Jake’s immediate, and demanding, supervisor for several years. He had also become a good friend and respected mentor.

Even now, more than a year after he’d left the FBI, Jake knew that Bobby only had his best interests at heart. But he refused to be bullied. He had too much at stake to make a hasty decision, especially one that would affect his future in such a conclusive way.

“Problem is, I want you,” Bobby continued, apparently choosing to ignore Jake’s suggestion. “Our arrest records and conviction rates haven’t been the same since you left the bureau. And don’t tell me you’re satisfied playing at being the chief of police in a place like Serenity, Texas. Talk about wasted talent.”

“I am the chief of police—no playing about it,” Jake shot back, bristling at the sarcasm he’d heard in his old friend’s voice.

He hadn’t resigned from the FBI and returned to Serenity on a whim. He had wanted desperately to win back the love and trust of his ex-wife, Megan, and he’d known of no other way to do it than by following her back to their hometown. Sure that it would only be a matter of time before she allowed him back into her life, Jake had asked his father, William Cahill—an honored member of the Texas legislature and one of Serenity’s most highly regarded citizens—to pull whatever strings were necessary to get him on the town’s police force.

Never one for half measures, especially where his only son was concerned, Senator Cahill had personally taken it upon himself to urge the aging chief of police to accept an early retirement package that included benefits no man in his right mind could refuse. Then he nominated Jake to take the chief’s place. The town fathers, aware that they were getting a darn good deal, had been delighted to smooth the way for the senator’s son. And over the past year Jake had taken great pride in seeing to it that they weren’t disappointed.

“Hey, no offense meant,” Bobby hastened to assure him.

“Difficult as it might be for a big-city guy like you to believe, I happen to like Serenity. I grew up here, you know. It’s a nice place to live and a great place to raise a family.”

“Speaking of which, are you and Megan on speaking terms yet? It’s been, what, two years since she left you? Maybe it’s time to cut bait, old buddy. You can’t spend the rest of your life waiting for something to happen when you have to know by now that the odds are against it. Some marriages can survive the kind of loss you and Megan suffered. Yours didn’t. You would do best to put it behind you, once and for all, and get on with your life.”

Bringing his foot down on the floor again, Jake shifted in his chair, sat up straighter and shoved a hand through his dark, shaggy hair. Bobby’s words hit painfully close to the mark, ripping at the battered edges of his heart as they laid forth a truth he would have rather not been forced to face.

Jake had made his fair share of mistakes over the years, but the ones he’d made with Megan seemed destined to haunt him for the rest of his life. He shouldn’t have put his job first three years ago, leaving her alone and unable to reach him when their young son began running a high fever. Nor should he have used his job as a means of escaping the grief and guilt that had threatened to overwhelm him after the meningitis that was diagnosed too late claimed Will’s life. And finally, fatally for their marriage, he shouldn’t have waited so long to follow Megan back to Serenity.

He had told himself that she simply needed time away from their home in Dallas and the memories of Will it held for her. That had been what he had thought he’d needed, after all. Only when she filed for divorce did he realize that she wasn’t coming back to him.

Fool that he’d been, he had told himself he didn’t really care. Eventually, of course, he’d come to his senses, but by then, Megan had made a new life for herself. A life that very likely might never include him.

“My relationship with Megan is none of your business, Bobby, so just back the hell off,” Jake warned, the memories he’d had of the past making him as angry with himself as he was with his old friend.

“Sorry if I was out of line, but I was just trying to point out what seems obvious to everyone except you. You dealt with Will’s death the only way you knew how and Megan dealt with it her way.”

“Because I gave her no other choice,” Jake retorted. “I wasn’t there for her when she really needed me. When Will first got sick I was too anxious to start working on yet another high-profile case to stick around and give her the support she needed. And after he died, it was easier for me to hide from her pain as well as my own by using any excuse I could to stay as far away from home as possible.

“I let her down, Bobby—no two ways about it. I was all she had and I let her down, and then I lost her. I lost the best thing in my life—the two best things—my wife and my son. I know I’ll never be able to get Will back. But I’m not ready to admit that Megan won’t ever be a part of my life again, either. As soon as I am, I’ll let you know.”

Without waiting for a last comment from his friend, Jake hung up the phone, then pressed the heels of his hands against his eyes in an effort to ease the subtle pressure that warned of a full-blown headache on the way.

As he had so many times already, he thought back over the months that had passed since he’d first returned to Serenity, and tried to figure out what he’d been doing wrong. He wanted his wife back. But he wasn’t any closer to his goal than he’d been a year ago.

Jake didn’t want to have to resort to force to get Megan to listen to what he had to say. But lately he had begun to think that hauling her off to some secluded place and holding her captive might not be such a bad idea, after all.

He had tried to consider her feelings—heaven help him, how he’d tried. For months now he’d been so busy tying himself up in knots worrying about making the wrong moves that he hadn’t made any moves at all. In fact, she had shut the door in his face the one and only time he’d attempted to confront her face-to-face.

Wincing as he remembered that particularly disheartening exchange, Jake sat back in his chair again.

He had gone to her house one Saturday morning nine months ago. She had opened the door without hesitation, and she’d met his gaze quite calmly. She’d offered him no greeting, though. Standing just inside the doorway, dressed in faded jeans and a plain white T-shirt, her dark curls a tantalizing tangle begging to be touched, she’d simply looked at him, her chin tipped up defensively, her wide, pale gray eyes filled with reproach.

Not a single one of the casual, clever opening lines Jake had rehearsed had come to his mind. He hadn’t been so close to her in such a long, lonely time—close enough to feel the heat radiating from her body, close enough to breathe in her special scent. Lavender, he’d thought, every nerve ending in his body tingling with awareness.

He had wanted only to put his arms around her, to hold her close and feather kisses along her cheek as he begged for her forgiveness.

He had known that she wouldn’t let him touch her, though. Known it with a certainty that had made his heart ache. But surely she would listen to what he had to say….

“I need to talk to you, Megan,” he’d begun, his voice rasping in his throat.

“Oh, really?” she had replied, the look in her eyes changing to one of utter disdain.

“Yes, really. Please, just let me come in. Give me a chance—”

“The time for talking has passed, Jake,” she’d said, her tone ever so polite as she cut him off.

Her gaze never wavering, she had closed the door in his face with a finality that had sliced straight through to his soul.

Since that long-ago day, Megan had ignored him every time he’d arranged for their paths to cross at one public place or another. In fact, the studious way in which she avoided any contact with him had not only become cause for comment in the close-knit community, it had also reached laughable proportions.

Jake had wanted to give Megan the time and space she seemed to need. But for all the glimpses of him he had made sure she’d catch around town, she hadn’t warmed up to him in the least. The time had come to take more vigorous action.

Now all he had to do was think of some way, short of kidnapping her, to gain her complete and undivided attention. And then, of course, he would have to find the words to tell her how very sorry he was for letting her down—words that he had no way of making her believe.

Closing his eyes again, Jake tried rubbing his temples, pressing hard in a futile attempt to ease the throb in his head.

Megan seemed happy enough with the life she had made for herself in Serenity. Maybe she didn’t really want him around anymore, and he was simply failing to take the hint. And maybe, just maybe, the rumors he’d heard about a new man in her life were actually true.

Though Jake had yet to see Megan and Steven Barns—the high school principal who had lost his wife almost two years ago—together himself, he had it on good authority that they had danced quite a few times at the senior prom they’d chaperoned. They had also shared a table at the school picnic.

Jake ground his teeth at the thought of good old Steve, one of the town’s designated nice guys, putting his hands on Megan. She might not be his wife anymore, but that didn’t mean he—

A subtle but noticeable shift in the atmosphere outside his office caught Jake’s attention. The activity level in the station had been fairly low, but until a moment ago, the steady drone of voices—two of his younger officers kidding around with Darcy Osgood, the clerk who maintained the files and answered the phones—had been audible. The sudden, unexpected silence was deafening by comparison.

Turning in his chair, Jake glanced out the window in his office wall to see what was going on, then all but doubled over at the painful lurch that sucked the air from his lungs as it grabbed at his gut.

As if conjured by the force of his thoughts and memories, Megan walked slowly toward his office, weaving her way among the scattered desks as his officers and Darcy looked on in surprised silence. And she was holding a baby in her arms—an infant hardly more than a couple of months old.

Flung back to another time in another place, Jake recalled all too vividly watching Megan walk toward him just so, her gaze turned inward, her mouth softening with a tender smile as her cheek brushed their son’s dark curls. Slashing through him as they did, the knife thrust of those memories, shut away for so long, made it momentarily impossible for him to draw a breath, to push away from his desk, to stand and close the distance still between them.

Get up and go to her and find out what the hell is going on, he ordered himself, aware that he had to gather himself quickly and take control of the situation, not only for his sake but for Megan’s, as well. She wouldn’t have come to him unless she needed his help—needed it desperately.

Jake couldn’t seem to make his legs work, though. Couldn’t seem to find the strength to stand and meet her halfway. In an effort to steady his roiling thoughts and emotions, he shifted his gaze from Megan.

He saw that she had left a stroller parked near the station doorway. He also saw that Darcy and his officers were gawking at her curiously. When he shot a pointed glance at them, they moved hurriedly to their respective desks and pretended to busy themselves with paperwork, and he allowed himself another look at Megan.

She was almost at the door to his office, but she seemed intent only on watching where she was walking. As if she preferred not to acknowledge his presence until the last possible moment, even though she could be there for no other reason than to see him.

She was dressed just as she had been that day nine months ago when he’d gone to see her, in faded jeans and a plain white T-shirt that emphasized how thin she’d gotten over the past few years. Too thin, he thought. And today she was also far too pale for his liking. Against the artful disarray of her dark, chin-length tumble of curls, her face had an almost ghostly cast.

Whatever the reason behind her sudden, unexpected arrival at the Serenity police station, baby in her arms, she was noticeably upset by it. And so, by association, was he, Jake admitted, finally pushing his chair away from his desk so he could stand.

He had wanted to believe that they had each put the death of their son behind them—he in his way and Megan in hers. Now he realized how mistaken he’d been. From the look of her, Megan had to have been jolted as surely as he by the mere sight of the baby she held so protectively. A baby that had to be for her, as it was for him, a living, breathing reminder of all they’d lost.

As Megan paused just inside his office doorway, Jake started toward her, bumping a hip against the edge of his desk hard enough to make him wince.

“Megan…?” he began, his voice sounding harsher to him than intended as he tried to gain some control over his unsteady emotions. “What’s going on?”

Raising her head slowly, she met his gaze at last, the wariness in her icy gray eyes halting him in mid-step. She couldn’t have told him more succinctly how much she regretted having to be there with him if she’d said the words out loud. The message radiated from her very core, coming at him in an almost tangible wave meant to keep him at a distance—as it did.

Jake shoved his hands in the pockets of his khaki pants, mentally cursing himself for thinking, as he had for just a moment, of reaching out to her, putting an arm around her shoulders and drawing her close to his side. She hadn’t come to him seeking comfort, and she wouldn’t appreciate the offer of it. Not by a long shot….

“I need your help,” she answered with just the slightest hesitation, her voice surprisingly cool and utterly, completely detached.

Only the pulse beat of a vein at her temple hinted at her apprehension. Coming to him was costing her much more than she was willing to admit, Jake knew. But come to him she had, and he had nothing to gain by giving her a hard time. In fact, he might be able to win some much needed points by smoothing the way for her as best he could.

“I’m here to serve and protect,” he said, lightening his tone considerably as he offered her a wry smile. “Just tell me what I can do for you, and consider it done.”

The wariness in Megan’s eyes deepened almost imperceptibly, warning him anew that she wasn’t about to be easily tempted to lower her guard. He had been just a tad too genial and she hadn’t been favorably impressed.

“An odd thing happened this morning,” she said after another moment’s hesitation. Then she glanced away with seeming uncertainty.

“Would I be correct in assuming it has something to do with your young friend there?” Jake prompted gently.

He knew that it did, of course. But a nudge in the right direction might make it easier for her to give him an explanation.

Megan nodded her head, then met his gaze again. As she did, Jake saw that the wariness in her eyes had been replaced by a pleading look that caught him off guard. When she spoke again, her tone had also changed, revealing the agitation she had, up until then, succeeded in hiding from him.

“Someone left him on my front porch,” she blurted out. “Just left him in a stroller. His name is Matthew, and he seems to be healthy. He’s obviously been well-cared-for, too. Whoever left him, left diapers and formula and clean clothes for him in a diaper bag. And a note—a note addressed to me personally—asking me to take care of him.” She sighed. “I want to do that. More than anything, I want to take care of him. But I know I can’t. Not the way she meant. I can’t just pretend he’s mine and go about my business. I have to turn him over to the proper authorities.

“That’s why I’m here. To turn him over to Children’s Protective Services. And to ask you, please, to see if you can find his mother. I’m afraid she’s in some kind of trouble. Otherwise, why would she leave her baby with me?”

Her voice breaking suddenly, Megan ducked her head again, but not before Jake saw the glimmer of tears in her eyes. He closed the distance between them then, her misery lodging deep in his own heart. Limiting himself to just a light touch on her shoulder so as not to upset her any further, he guided her to one of the two chairs positioned in front of his desk as he tried to make sense of all that she’d told him.

“Let me make sure I understand the situation,” he said after she’d settled into the chair and drawn a steadying breath. “This morning someone, most probably the mother, left the baby you’re holding on your front porch?”

“Yes, unbelievable as it sounds, that’s exactly what happened,” Megan replied.

Against her shoulder, the baby squirmed and snuffled, then snuggled back to sleep as she smoothed a soothing hand down his back.

Seeing how naturally she mothered the abandoned infant, Jack ached for her even more. She was determined to do the right thing, to give up the baby to Children’s Protective Services, but she’d said herself it wasn’t what she wanted to do. Her tenderness toward the baby made it even more evident.

Telling himself he could help Megan best by setting aside his own feelings and doing his job, Jake stepped back, propped a hip on the edge of his desk and picked up his notebook and pen. He didn’t want to crowd her, but at the same time, he didn’t want to put the width of his desk between them, either.

Finding herself caught in a situation that had to be almost too painful for her to bear, she was barely hanging on, riding a roller coaster of emotions. Yet she’d had the courage and the common sense to come to him for help. He didn’t want her to think that he would let her down, even for a moment. Not this time, no matter what hell he had to go through himself.

“What time was it when you found him?” he asked, trying to keep his tone matter-of-fact as he opened his notebook and jotted down the date on a fresh page.

“Just after dawn.” Megan drew another steadying breath and met his gaze, her composure somewhat restored. “I fell asleep on the living room sofa last night and woke up this morning to the sound of the doorbell ringing. I was pretty sure it was just kids from the high school playing a prank. I went to the door and opened it to be sure they hadn’t left behind any little gifts. Nobody was there, of course. I stepped out on the porch to take a look around the yard, and almost tripped over the stroller. Luckily, he started to cry and I saw him just in time.”

“You seem fairly sure that his mother is the one who left him there. Why is that?”

“Instinct, mostly. I had a feeling that he hadn’t been abandoned completely, that someone was close by, watching to make sure he was okay. I called out, asking her to please come back. As I started down the porch steps, I heard a rustle in the shrubbery alongside the house, and a few moments later, I saw someone running down the sidewalk.”

“Can you give me a description of her?” Jake asked, eyeing her questioningly.

“Not in any great detail,” Megan admitted. “It wasn’t light enough outside, and she was running pretty fast. I had taken the baby out of the stroller and was holding him, so I couldn’t really go after her. I’m sure it was a young woman, though. She was tall and slender, she was wearing jeans and a T-shirt, and she had her hair tucked under a baseball cap.”

Tapping his pen against his notebook, Jake frowned thoughtfully. He had seen someone dressed much the same way as Megan’s early-morning visitor when he was heading to work around seven o’clock. She had been walking away from the Serenity bus station.

He, too, had assumed the jeans-clad figure was a young woman. He hadn’t paid her much attention, but then, he hadn’t had any reason to. Just another college student home for the summer, he’d mused, eyeing the loaded duffel bag and backpack weighing her down.

Unfortunately, he hadn’t gotten a good look at her face, either. And thanks to the baseball cap she’d worn, he couldn’t have said if her hair was short or long, dark or fair.

“What are you thinking?” Megan asked, her tone soft and tentative.

“I saw her this morning, too,” Jake answered. “Around seven o’clock, apparently after she’d been to your house. She was leaving the bus station, carrying a duffel bag and backpack. I assumed she was a college student home for the summer.”

“That would mean she has family here in town, wouldn’t it? So why leave her baby with me?”

“That’s what I need to find out. Do you have the note she left with the baby?”

“It’s in the diaper bag hooked onto the handle of the stroller. I brought everything she left so you could take a look at it. CPS will want his things, too.” Megan hesitated, shifting her gaze away. “I guess you’d better call over there and ask them to send a social worker to take him.”

Jake couldn’t help but notice how her grip on the baby tightened imperceptibly, and his heart ached for her even more. Talk about a rotten set of circumstances. She shouldn’t have had to deal with something as agonizing as finding an abandoned baby on her front porch. Not after the loss she had suffered almost three years ago. The loss they had suffered.

For one long moment, Jake wished he had the power to whisk her, the baby and himself back in time so they could be a family again—he, Megan and their own sweet Will. As if to remind him of how impossible his fantasy was, the baby started to fuss, his snuffling cries an obvious supplication.

“He’s probably hungry again,” Megan said by way of explanation. “There’s a bottle of formula in the diaper bag. Would you run it under some hot water for me for a minute?”

“Sure thing.”

Glad to have a task that not only took his mind off the past, but also grounded him firmly in the present, Jake hurried out of his office. He asked one of the young officers to call Children’s Protective Services for him and request that a social worker be sent to the police station at once. Then he walked back to the stroller, found the bottle of formula in the diaper bag and headed for the station’s small kitchen. Along the way, he paused to ask Darcy to wheel the stroller back to his office just in case the baby also needed a change of diaper.

By the time he made his way back to his office, warm bottle in hand, the baby’s cries had increased in volume. Megan paced the narrow space in front of his desk, patting the infant’s back and murmuring words of reassurance while Darcy looked on sympathetically from the doorway.

“Phone’s ringing,” Jake said, shooting her a reproving look as he walked past her.

“I’d better answer it, then.” Obviously regretting what she would be missing, Darcy backed out of the office and headed for her desk.

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