Натали: искусство жить

[18.10.201* 19:43:49] Amir: Hi my love! how are you???

[18.10.201* 19:45:31] Natalie: ok and you? what time do you stay at work?

[18.10.201* 19:46:09] Amir: i m fine love, well i just came back and started my laptop; basically i am busy in organizing a fashion show these days so that’s why won’t able to come online

Natalie: ok, that́s not a problem, problem was you didńt say a word, nothing

Amir: i am so sorry for that

Natalie: well tell about your work… or maybe do you want to rest a bit?

Amir: yes, i should at least tell you about it… no, i want to stay with you here at skype. Honey i don’t want you to send your passport to my office

Natalie: well, then just wait a bit.

Amir: just ask Mary to scan it and send through email, no problem if it takes some days

Natalie: ok, Mary simple couldńt do herself, only her husband can and he returns home only today, so in some days we will send

tell me about your work. Do you like it?

Amir: yes, well yes my work, i am designing as well, so i will arrange a fashion show here to show my designed clothes and will try to be a fashion designer

Natalie: nice surprise! it is really interesting. Did I tell you I do the same but mostly only for myself?

Amir: really? that’s great so we can work together on it… it will be a huge event in Dubai – fashion week, me and you both together

Natalie: yes, I have a full collection, always wanted to make photos all of the clothes, but I just can tell you on photos where I am in my own, later, on facebook

Amir: yea, that will be cool! how’s handsome guy? and what did you discuss with him?

Natalie: just have spoken to him! he wants me to do his homework in Estonian and then send to him and I refused

Amir: hahahahahaha well right, he should do own work

Natalie: right, but maybe I will do in the morning if I am in mood, just my head doesńt want to think a lot in the evening

Amir: ok great… honey i missed you a lot, these two days were like i am not alive without you

Natalie: I dońt believe you too much now :) yesterday you didńt even think about me, I know;)

Amir: comeon love, don’t say that, you are with me for every single second

Natalie: do you like to walk by foot?

Amir: yes why? i have GMC truck but still i love to walk by foot

Natalie: just because I love to move a lot and like to walk by foot for long distance… sometimes run

Amir: waoooo that’s nice, that’s why you have such a beautiful physic

Natalie: last Autumn I did one test, it called Wellness test, where they see your body status and problems and give you some advices… and along with other information they told me my biological age is twenty three and it is very rare case when biological age is younger, mostly it is vice versa;) so be ready to move with me a lot!

Amir: yea, i am ready to walk with you… ok, i wana see you

Natalie: not only to walk. I like to play tennis, I use to play with my son, but mostly when he was younger, not now

Amir well i am a tennis champion

Natalie: no, Amir, you won’t see me today!;)

Amir: so don’t worry, we can play together… i want to see you… honey please

Natalie: but I dońt want!

Amir: i will die if i wouldn’t see you… please

Natalie: let’s speak about some other things

Amir: honey please, it’s 48 hours now i haven’t seen you

Natalie: Amir, I am not a toy! Yesterday I even couldńt sleep in normal way. See I dońt know you. I thought… maybe you just a crazy man and made me believe you, but in fact… so it was unpleasant and I dońt want you to do it again… so you will remember :)

Amir: i am sorry, i have already apologized and i already tell you the reason… please

Natalie: ok, I see your reason and you see mine. Just not today, that́s all. What a problem? tell me about your family

Amir: what you wana know?

Natalie: where are your brothers, which one is the first (in other words are you the small one or in the middle or…)

Amir: well my brothers are in Canada, i am the middle one

Natalie: what do you think… how your parents would accept your choice? (me I mean)

Amir: well they don’t have any problem – you are beautiful, educated, and well-mannered so no reason to reject or object

Natalie: about my manners… :) I use to be strange! and behave like a child from time to time! You dońt know me, Amir! dońt be so sure about me before you will really see me

Amir: honey comeon, i know sometimes i also behave like a child, it’s human but you don’t always behave like a child

Natalie: maybe not always but rather often… that’s what my son doesńt like about me especially when his friends can see us

Amir: i don’t have any problem with it, you can always behave like a child

Natalie: ok, we will see… dońt wanna take a rest?

Amir: no, today i am with you whole night

Natalie: oh, no! I cańt sit by comp whole night! And I didńt sleep well… because of you by the way!

Amir: i don’t know, you have to stay with me tonight

Natalie: no, I haven’t :)

Amir: ok

Natalie: so I just think it is enough for today…

Amir: ok

Natalie: bye!.. Amir? will you tell me good bye?

Amir: no, because i don’t want you to go… if you want to go just leave, i will not say bye

Natalie: it is not good, at first… at second I will be on facebook, will put marks for you where there are my dresses or something, but not all my clothes are there, only some part.

Amir: ok

Natalie: i’m tagging you on the photos, so you can easily see it in your profile, but then, if you want, may delete… as you wish

Amir: no problem, i will keep it

Natalie: you at first see photos, and then decide :) you can easily take away which one you want

Amir: ok, i got one, put more

Natalie: i do! :) have you seen my video Summer Wine? here was a skirt I also made myself (and there I was dancing in it) my comp now work very slowly, so cańt wait! maybe will do the next time… are you here?.. and you know what I think about this your show?.. there are a lot of beautiful women as a rule;)

Amir: hahahahahha models!..

Natalie: well, so how about these women?

Amir: good

Natalie: yes, see that́s why you completely forgot about me yesterday! here is the question: are you loyal? it is rather different in Islam and in your world as compare to mine

Amir: honey, what kind of question is this?

Natalie: normal question! just want to know about you more, that́s all

Amir: well you are the last girl in my life

Natalie:;))))))))))))))))))))) that will be really funny!

Amir: so smile if it’s funny

Natalie: I do!

Amir: good for you… i love you, miss you sweetheart

Natalie: Amir… remember about the time, too… if you want to talk then talk about something else… if we meet then we can speak a lot about our feelings whenever we want… now it is just not wise

Amir: ok, what you want to talk about? i wana see you

Natalie: i dońt want! it is evening, I feel tired… next time and look – I also want to see you and to hear you, but you dońt give me the chance

Amir: ok, so what do you want to talk about? you didn’t tell me about your family, your parents, siblings

Natalie: I have one sister, who now lives in America, North Carolina

Amir: waooo good

Natalie: and she doesńt want me to marry again to a Muslim guy but I dońt listen to her much

Amir: so were you married with Muslim before?

Natalie: yes, and he was very good to me, but it happened we parted by destiny, you may say, and my family took it very hard because they all love me a lot

Amir: yea i understand… well i am not a typical person, i am a different kind of person, you are very close to me

Ах, от его слов веяло таким теплом, что никакое расстояние не могло его развеять. Щёки горели, сердце сладко и учащённо билось в груди. Вопреки всем своим усилиям сопротивляться зарождающемуся чувству она не могла.

Natalie: I see that and must say I like you more and more

Amir: thanks my love, you are the precious ever thing for me that i never wana loose, i would rather prefer to lose my life before losing you

Natalie: oh, Amir, dońt be in hurry again.

Amir: :( can you be romantic for some time?

Natalie: I am romantic, but not on i-net! :) I just keep myself; when we meet in reality then you will see if I am romantic or not! then you will ask maybe: dońt be SO romantic, plz!

Amir: really… i am waiting for that moment

Natalie: have I told you I write books? novels? so how can I be not romantic!? :)

Amir: really? That’s nice, i wana read them

Natalie: yes, it is one of my most favorite activities, they are in Russian…

Amir: impressed!.. What was the name of your husband and where he was from?

Natalie: he was from Pakistan, but we met in Kiev, his name was Ajaz

Amir: why did he leave you?

Natalie: he didńt want to leave me… may I not tell you now? Later, when we meet and if you still want to know

Amir: honey i want to know

Natalie: but didńt you tell me just some days ago you dońt want to know anything about my past?

Amir: yes, i just don’t wana do same and loose you

Natalie: he was so nice to me and we loved each other. I was very happy with him, it was the happiest time in my life… but in general it was rather hard time, when Soviet Union collapsed

Amir: yea, i know, so are you originally RUSSIAN?

Natalie: he wanted us to move to Germany… yes, I am half Russian and half Ukraine from my Mother side

Amir: ok then?

Natalie: he wanted us to come to Germany and I didńt want go here at first… it took a lot of time to make my documents, we even couldńt wait and he bought passport with visa for me, but then Germany was closed for Pakistani ppl… so we moved to my parents… and I wanted a baby then, same like now… he told me it was not right time, but I insisted… there was no work for us in Estonia and other problems with visa for him… my parents wanted us to go to Pakistan, they thought we would be fine there… so they made him leave but he didńt want to leave me… cried and told he couldńt live without me.. but I was SO sure in him and in his love. I forced him to go and he promised to come back after three months and take me with a baby… but never came back. His relatives had a bride for him already… so… sad story, you see

Amir: very bad, he should not do that! If his relatives were having bride for him why he did this to you?

Natalie: well, let’s leave the topic; it is still very painful to me, especially because of my son

Amir: i am sorry honey, i will never talk about it again because i wana see you happy forever, smiling

Natalie: you know what is funny here? That he told me the same thing!..

Amir: hahahhahaha waooo… well i mean it, he just told you and i want to prove it, wana meet you as soon as possible

Natalie: no, Amir, he didńt just say… otherwise I couldńt love him for so many years, I didńt want even to marry again… but at last it has stopped… my love for him

Amir: so you wana marry now?

Natalie: I want to have a baby… how can I do it without your help?;)

Amir: yea, you are right;) so now it depends on Mary and her husband, i will receive your passport to do my part then you will come here and we will plan our baby

Natalie: after Christmas… will you come here before? I want to see you first

Amir: i can’t promise that i will come there

Natalie: and before you told you could…

Amir: i would try that’s what i said

Natalie: so if you wońt come I cańt come too, because I have never seen you… Honestly I’m just afraid!

Amir: i am not an animal, so don’t be afraid

Natalie: yes, but in normal way we have to meet at first

Amir: yea, that’s what i am saying: you can come here, i have work here, hard to take leaves, from here, come meet me, and we will have fun here

Natalie: Amir, it is strange for me now. How can I trust you if just some days ago yoúve told: I can come, I have no any problem! And now you are telling me this… no, I cańt come in this way

Amir: honey i am not saying i can’t come but it will take time, you know visa process and everything, whereas i can arrange for you in some days, that’s why i was saying that

Natalie: but we have the time! more than 2 months! I wońt come earlier in any case!

Amir: i can wait 2 months

Natalie: you can wait, OK, but I would like you to come here on Christmas, we will see each other and then we will know if we want and can be together… I am not mad, Amir! I cańt come to unknown person!

Amir: ok i will tell you about it soon

Natalie: not just tell, but try to do, if you are serious… but I doubt it again… you so easily have changed your mind!

Amir: i don’t, i am in love with you, that’s why i am here with you from last one week, sharing everything with you

Natalie: I cańt take your love seriously now, before we see each other… it is not so real for me, so plz if it is really important for you, do as I ask

Amir: yes, i am coming, to prove my love i am coming to you, to prove that whatever i said is true, i want to spend my whole life with you

Natalie: ok, thanks… we will see. Now good night!

Amir: but if i would be having any problem in visa process, you have to help me out

[18.10.201* 22:19:17] Natalie: ok, now tell me good night! :)

Amir: i love you Natalie, take care honey, good night

Выйдя из скайпа и выключив компьютер, Натали какое-то время сидела неподвижно в тишине, прислушиваясь к себе. Да, он быстро меняет решения… но почему-то она не в силах противиться… Пока говорили, и ей удалось высказать все свои сомнения, что поехать к нему вот так, вдруг, казалось невозможным, но теперь в глубине души она чувствовала, что верит ему и готова действовать так, как он просит.

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САМАЯ ЛУЧШАЯ ДИЕТА

В этот день, как и в этот весь октябрь в Кёльне, Натали чувствовала себя, как переполненный сосуд: энергия счастья, радость жизни сочились из всех её пор. Она помолодела, расцвела, похорошела. Да, «я тебя люблю, моя принцесса» на завтрак, обед и ужин – самая лучшая целебная диета в мире, которая воистину способна творить чудеса.

Натали не могла сдержать напор своих чувств, она подошла, пританцовывая, к ноутбуку и напечатала: «You know how to win a woman! :) miss you today a lot!»

Скайп молчал. Амир обычно не отвечал ей в рабочее время – только в обеденный перерыв или вечером, после работы, и это ей нравилось – мужчина должен быть занят делом и серьёзно относиться к нему. Это вызывает уважение.

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MADE OF FIRE

Зато вечером, как обычно, скайп оживился, загорелся зелёненьким и «промурлыкал»:

[19.10.201* 19:15:45] Amir: Hiiiiiiii how are you?

Natalie: good, but missed you! what have you done! ai ai

Amir: well i missed you too… maybe you are also in love with me now

Natalie: may be… dońt know…

Amir: right so how’s your day love? what you did except missing me

Natalie: wait, call… it was Mary, she told we will do copy today or tomorrow morning

Amir: honey just give me time till this Friday… that’s nice

Natalie: you know I thought… now I believe you, so you may not come.

Amir: oh comeon, i am only yours, so don’t ever think like that, i will never leave you

Natalie: I will finish my work here, then come home for some weeks (1—2) and then will come to you myself

Amir: really? are you serious, right?

Natalie: of course. I have to go home in any case, I should see my parents, to take divorce and do some other matters, I cańt keep you away from your work all the time

Amir: ok i am very happy, well i will manage, honey, don’t worry about my work

Natalie: well, but I have a lot of questions now…

Amir: ok tell me…

Они опять проговорили весь вечер. Натали задавала много общих вопросов о жизни в Дубаи, об арабском мире, а также о родителях и семье Амира, о том, как он всё себе представляет. Амир отвечал обстоятельно, с видимым удовольствием.

Натали удивлялась себе самой. Совсем недавно она абсолютно ничего не знала об этой стране… Ну, да, слышала, конечно, краем уха название Арабские Эмираты, Дубаи, но никогда её внимание не останавливалось ни на этих названиях, ни на связанных с ними государствах и городах. И вдруг это стало таким важным, и непонятным для себя образом она собирается поехать туда – встретиться? Остаться жить? Выйти замуж?.. Да уж, жизнь удивительна и непредсказуема.

И, конечно же, она пока не представляла себе той жизни и мира, в котором живёт её любимый, поэтому вопросов было много, разных. Она обдумывала их целый день и даже для верности записала на листке бумаги, положив его на столе рядом с ноутбуком, чтобы ничего не пропустить.

Natalie: … and about medicine service (i mean if I have to bring a baby) is it good enough?

[19.10.201* 19:30:26] Amir: it is best

Natalie: ok, what do you mean by «we will plan» the baby? how?

Amir: means we have to talk about it, we will know each other well and then we will decide when we are ready to have baby… ok you are ready to have baby right away

Natalie: look, it seems like you are in doubt, but for me it is the main point almost

Amir: good, i am ready for it

Natalie: then if I come and we like each other, how long it takes to be married?

Amir: same day because i can’t wait

Natalie: you cańt wait… so it was the question as well, what if I want to wait to be easy with you… I mean wońt you insist too much? I want to feel free and safety!

Amir: well that’s what we will decide when we meet so just leave it for then

Natalie: ok, but I just want you to promise to give me my freedom! so can you wait if I want?.. it will be too late to discuss then… I know men

Amir: well there will be only your decisions; i will do whatever you say: in our relations there will be only your decisions because i love to do whatever you say

Natalie: it is not right, Íd prefer to decide together and man’s word has to be the last one!

Amir: done, i agree

Natalie: but only after we will be married :)

Amir: sure, i love you Natalie

Natalie: how are going your matters with the show? are you designing women or men’s clothes?

Amir: women specially

Natalie: :) you know I have one idea for long time and it seems no one did it before… the clothes for couple

Amir: well we can work on it together when we meet, we will have more creative ideas

Natalie: I hope… but I never press my ideas to come… they come to me in free way

Amir: i will surely not insist to give me ideas

Natalie: the problem is… I have TOO many different gifts and I deal for some times with one, then with another, cańt be completely in one

Amir: no problem… i wana see yoyu

Natalie: how about to see you for me? and to hear you as well?

Amir: Friday, give me time, please please please

*** Call to Amir, duration 00:26. ***

Amir: i am sorry for that love, you will listen to me soon… so we will buy engagement rings, i am very happy that you are coming and we can meet

Natalie: I am happy too.

Amir: i love you darling, so as soon as you are coming here i will check for an apartment, a furnished one for us

Natalie: dońt worry about such things now, plz! I prefer you to think about us, not about furniture!

Amir: yes this is for us and i am thinking only about us, these days, me and you, what we will do, what we will eat, where we will go

Natalie: I have so much men’s attention today… but was waiting only for you! :)

Amir: thanks love, you are so sweet

Amir: so you were telling me that you have the name for our new baby, tell me about it

Natalie: Serafim… it means «Made of Fire’ like the most powerful of Angels… but you can give him second name you like

Amir: well honey its beautiful name, i like it

Natalie: thanks! :)

Amir: and what about girl?

Natalie: you are reading my mind! :)

Amir:;)

Natalie: I just was thinking that if it possible for me I would like to have a girl as well, a small copy of me

Amir: yes, i want to have a baby girl same like you

Natalie: well, wonderful! so her name is for you!

Amir: i need to think about it, i will tell you… if you are ready to have babies, i don’t have any problem, but i don’t want to create any problem for you

Natalie: it is as God wants… no any problem for Him… but of course we will see… my first experience with my son scared me a lot… it was SO painful that I thought I’d never want it again, but now… you see :)

Amir: yea, i can understand so first it’s about you, if you are ready we will have kids, i don’t want you to have hard time because you are my princess, can’t see you in pain

Natalie: what is the life without pain?

Amir: true, you are awesome, i think i have done something good in my life that you are with me and GOD is very happy with me

Natalie: well, we will see… I am not so easy sometimes… I would like to have some time only for myself… so

Amir: yes, you have all my time, my life revolves around you now, just you all time

Natalie: you dońt understand me, Amir! I mean I need sometimes to be alone…

Amir: i know

Natalie: where we will go… I like cinema, disco, long walk (the most), SPA and sauna from time to time, beach as well… hey? alive? Amir?…? I like you name :)

Amir: yes

Natalie: noh, what a problem?

Amir: nothing, what happened?

Natalie: I mean you are keeping silence for long, not about your name

Amir: yea just watching your photos, you are looking stunning in them, the photos you have added yesterday mmmmmmuuuuaaaaahhhhhh

Natalie:;) in life I look better, but not always, it depends on how good I slept, what mood I am in and so on…

Amir: yea it really matters, specially mood depends on it

Natalie: for me especially sleep! I have to go to sleep early and have a good night! :)

Amir: yea, i know you sleep at time

Natalie: as a rule I am always in good mood, especially if the sun shines

Amir: you like sunshine? i love snow, i want to go to MOSCOW once in lifetime, i wana see that place one of my favorite one…

Время с Амиром пролетало счастливо и незаметно. Но Натали, которая любила ложиться спать вовремя, да ещё бродить по ночам, как мы уже упоминали, в последние дни, уже хотела спать.

Natalie: …let́s finish for today

Amir: why? what happened?

Natalie: you need some rest, me too, we have spoken enough

Amir: sure, if you want to sleep you can go, take care princess

Natalie: good night! :))

Amir: and i love you a lot, can’t live without you now

Natalie: well, I love you too :)

Amir: say it again because i am waiting from long to listen to that

Natalie: I know, sorry, I just used to speak truth… So Ím starting to love you now! love you! want you to be mine! are you?

Amir: yes, i am only yours forever and ever

Natalie: too good… to be true… ok! good night now! kiss you!

[19.10.201* 21:11:35] Amir: good night love take care good night

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ВОЗВРАЩЕНИЕ НЕЛЛИ

В первой половине дня Натали обычно навещала Нелли. Дела у бедной пострадавшей шли неважно, восстанавливалась она очень медленно – старый организм, а больше унылый настрой Нелли тормозили выздоровление, рана гноилась и никак не желала затягиваться.

Но всё-таки настал день, когда вместе с Мери на машине они отправились забирать Нелли. Было условлено, что к ней каждое утро будет приходить медсестра. На деле это частенько оказывался медбрат. В таких случаях Нелли немного оживлялась и даже шутила. Натали нравилось слышать её низкий смех.

Вскоре Нелли начала понемножку выходить на улицу по своим обычным маршрутам: почта – магазин – поликлиника – аптека – банк – парикмахерская – и жизнь вошла в прежнюю колею. Только вот на обед к Мери они пока больше не ездили на трамвае – Мери приезжала сама и забирала их.

После обеда, убрав вместе с Мери со стола, Натали отправлялась гулять, а Нелли оставалась ещё погостить у дочери. Позже Мери сама привозила её домой.

Натали ловила себя на мысли, что – да, ей очень нравится Кёльн, пешие прогулки, нравится спокойная размеренная жизнь… но как долго она сможет жить так – и не начать скучать? Слишком уж всё хорошо и налажено… И Амир становился всё более и более настойчивым и странным. Но ещё хуже было то, что она сама начала влюбляться, и переносить разлуку становилось всё труднее…