The Baby That Changed Her Life

Her heart began to pound as her breath caught in her throat. Her skin had come alive at his touch, tingling and yearning for more.

He’s going to kiss me!

And she realised she wanted him to. Wanted it more than anything else in the whole wide world!

She sat up slightly and met him halfway, wrapping her hand behind his neck, embedding her fingers in his tousled hair and pulling his face towards hers, meeting his lips with hers, indulging in a wonderful, tentative, exploring first kiss.

Fireworks were going off throughout her body. She felt tense and relaxed and excited all at once. Her hands itched for his touch, to be holding him. Their mouths opened as the kiss deepened and his tongue took hers, and then she was breathing him, kissing him, holding him, in a way she’d never felt with a man before. His bristles scorched her face and it was a sweet agony as passion took them both by surprise and hunger for each other burned them to their very core.

This is Lucas!

Of course it was! He’d been there in front of her all this time, the man for her, and she’d let him be just a friend for all that time—not knowing, never allowing herself to think about it. Why hadn’t she thought about it?

Perhaps I did. In fact I know I did!

She’d once let the thought of what it would be like to sleep with Lucas occupy her mind for many a night. But she’d not wanted to risk their friendship. She’d always dismissed it.

I need to breathe.

She couldn’t remember how. Instead she continued to kiss him, to feel his soft hair in her fingers, his chest against hers, the yearning for more …

For so long she’d wondered what it would be like. This moment. This kiss. Yet she knew she had to stop it. Knew she had to let him go. Because this wasn’t meant to happen!

‘We shouldn’t do that.’ She sounded breathless. ‘We can’t risk it … there’s a baby now.’

Dear Reader

Hello, and welcome to my very first Mills and Boon® Medical Romance™! I wanted to kick off my medical writing career exploring an issue that has always fascinated me, and so I knew I had to do a surrogacy story.

I’m nowhere near brave enough to be a surrogate myself, but I am eternally fascinated and proud of those women who do volunteer to have a baby for someone else. In this story that woman is Callie Taylor—a midwife, a fascinating woman who loves babies but has never wanted one for herself. Or so she thinks …

It led me to thinking: just what happens when the surrogate has doubts about what she’s doing? When I heard about women who’d ended up keeping the baby I knew I had to explore this with my characters, Callie and Lucas. They both deserve love and I hope you will enjoy their journey as much as I enjoyed writing about it.

I would love to hear from readers. If you want to contact me you can do so at Twitter, on @louisaheaton, on Facebook at www.Facebook.com/Louisaheatonauthor, or on my website: www.louisaheaton.com

Warmest wishes

Louisa

LOUISA HEATON first started writing romance at secondary school, and would take her stories in to show her friends, scrawled on lined A4 paper in a big red binder, with plenty of crossing out. She dreamt of romance herself, and after knowing her husband-to-be for only three weeks shocked her parents by accepting his marriage proposal and heading off to Surrey to live with him. Once there, she began writing romance again and discovered the wonderful world of Mills & Boon® Medical Romance™.

After four children—including a set of twins—and fifteen years of trying to get published, she finally received ‘The Call’! Now she lives on Hayling Island, and when she’s not busy as a First Responder she creates her stories wandering along the wonderful Hampshire coastline with her two dogs, muttering to herself and scaring the locals.

Visit Louisa on Twitter, @louisaheaton, on Facebook, www.facebook.com/Louisaheatonauthor, and on her website: www.louisaheaton.com

THE BABY THAT CHANGED HER LIFE is Louisa Heaton’s debut title for Mills & Boon® Medical Romance™!

The Baby

That Changed

Her Life

Louisa Heaton

www.millsandboon.co.uk

For Nicholas, James, Rebecca, Jared and Jack xxx

Table of Contents

Cover

Excerpt

Dear Reader

About the Author

Title Page

Dedication

PROLOGUE

CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER TWO

CHAPTER THREE

CHAPTER FOUR

CHAPTER FIVE

CHAPTER SIX

CHAPTER SEVEN

CHAPTER EIGHT

CHAPTER NINE

CHAPTER TEN

EPILOGUE

Copyright

PROLOGUE

CALLIE TAYLOR STARED at the pregnancy test kit. She felt the weight of it in her hands. There was no point in reading the instructions—she already knew what they said. Knew the simplicity of its words: ‘One line indicates a negative result. Two pink lines indicate a positive result’.

Simple words but such a momentous implication. Life-changing. Well, just for nine months, maybe—because, as a surrogate, she’d be giving the baby away after it was born. But even then … being best friends with the father of the baby meant the baby would always be in her life …

Callie opened the box, pulling out the thick wad of paper wrapped around the end of the two kits, and threw the instructions in the bin. She knew how these things worked. As a midwife, she conducted many a test—especially when she worked in the fertility clinic. She placed the second kit back on the shelf and tore through the wrapping around the first.

She had never considered for even one moment that she would be doing this test on herself, and yet here she stood.

What was she doing? Had she made the right decision to do this? To be a surrogate? What if things didn’t work out? What if she fell in love with the baby?

No, course not … I’d never do that.

She splashed her face with cold water and dried her hands.

Pee on the stick. That was all she had to do and she would know.

Could there be any doubt? It had to be positive, didn’t it? She already felt sick and tired all the time. And she kept eating biscuits.

Not much of a sacrifice, though, was it? A big waistline and labour. That was all she had to get through to give Lucas and Maggie their much wanted baby. Callie could do that. And she didn’t have to worry about wanting to keep the baby because she’d never wanted kids anyway.

No biggie.

So why aren’t I peeing on this stick?

She held the slim white plastic tube in her fingers, staring at it. Her bladder felt full. There was only one thing to do …

She did what she had to and put the cap on the stick, sliding it between the taps on her sink.

I’ll look at it in a moment.

Just as she was finishing washing her hands her doorbell rang. They were insistent, whoever they were. Ringing constantly, a finger held on the button, determined not to stop until she answered the door.

‘Oh, God … Who is it?’ she called out. If it was someone she didn’t know, then she wasn’t going to bother answering it at all! Did they not know that she had a life-changing moment going on here?

Leaving the bathroom, she glanced around at the state of her flat. It wasn’t too bad. There were cups here and there and on the coffee table, papers, magazines and an open packet of gingernuts. Clothes were draped over the back of the sofa, the radiator, and the whole place had a bit of an uncared-for air about it. It looked a mess.

Like me. Besides I’m in my pyjamas.

‘Callie, it’s me … Lucas!’

Lucas. The father. Maybe …

Okay, I have to answer the door for you, at least.

‘Hang on.’ Callie moved quickly down her hallway, grabbing stray items of clothes and tossing them all in her bedroom. She ran her fingers through her hair, hoping she didn’t look too much like death warmed up, and pulled open the door, trying to seem casual.

‘Hi,’ Lucas said. He looked awful.

She frowned. Lucas looked pale, distracted. Not his usual self.

Callie followed him into her lounge. ‘You okay?’

It wasn’t like Lucas just to turn up like this. Normally he’d ring to let her know he was coming round, just to make sure it was all right and she wasn’t going out.

Lucas stood in the centre of Callie’s lounge, hands in his jacket pockets, looking very uncomfortable. ‘No, not really—no.’ He fidgeted in his pockets, bit his lip. Then, with nothing better to do, he sat down on the couch in a sudden movement, waiting for Callie to join him.

‘What’s up?’ She hoped this was going to be a quick conversation, considering the state her stomach was in.

Lucas shrugged, unable to meet her gaze. ‘Everything. Everything’s up.’

Callie felt awkward. Normally in this situation a friend would reach out, lay a reassuring hand on a knee and say, Hey, what’s up? You can tell me. But Callie didn’t feel comfortable doing that. It wasn’t who she was. She didn’t do reassuring physical contact.

Except with her patients. Somehow it seemed okay to do it with them. It was her professional persona. It wasn’t her. That was Midwife Callie, not Real Callie.

Lucas smiled at her, but it was strained—one of those brave smiles that people tried to put on their faces when in reality the last thing they wanted to do was smile.

Callie was even more at a loss.

‘Hey … what’s wrong?’ She edged closer. She could manage that and resist the urge to put her arm around him.

‘It’s Maggie …’

‘What’s wrong?’ she asked quickly. ‘Is she sick?’ Callie really couldn’t imagine anything worse than that.

‘No, not sick. That would be easy to deal with … No, she’s worse than sick.’ His voice had a tinge of anger to it now, and Callie found herself frowning.

‘Then what is it?’ She dreaded asking. What would he say? Had she been in an accident? Was she at death’s door? In a coma? If it were any of these things, then how would the baby situation work? She’d only agreed to be a surrogate because there was no chance she’d be expected to take care of the baby …

Oh, God, I’m going to be expected to take care of the baby …

Horror and fear grabbed her in their vice and she began to feel icy-cold, almost to the point of shivering. She closed her eyes at the onslaught, hoping that when she opened them again everything would be good and Lucas would tell her something nice.

Lucas took in a deep breath. ‘She left. Walked out.’

He looked at her in disbelief and waited for her reaction. His eyes were strangely empty of tears, despite the news.

‘Left? But—’

‘She’s been having an affair, apparently. Some doctor in A&E. I don’t know—I think that’s what she said. She said I didn’t love her enough, she wasn’t happy, and she’s gone.’ He stood up then, unable to sit still a second longer, sighing heavily now that he’d told her the important news. He turned to her and did that brave smile thing again. ‘Good thing you’re not pregnant yet.’

His words echoed around her skull like a bully taunting her in the playground.

Of course. She’d told neither Lucas nor Maggie about feeling a bit dodgy these last few days. She’d kept it to herself so that if it were true that she was having a baby it would be the best surprise to give them …

Only now it was backfiring as a great idea. There was a test in the bathroom, currently marinating, about to tell them both their future. She could be pregnant. With Lucas’s child and no Maggie to play the part of mother!

So who would be mum, then?

Callie recoiled at the thought, looking away from Lucas and shifting back in her chair. She nibbled on her nail, worrying about all the implications.

She’d never wanted to be a mother—that was the whole point! It was her gift to Lucas and Maggie: the most perfect gift you could ever give to your best friend. A baby. Ten tiny fingers and ten tiny toes … all for them to look after, allowing her to swoop in occasionally on visits and bestow a few ‘oohs’ and ‘aahs’ before sweeping out again. The perfect—and distant—godparent.

And that was all. Callie wasn’t meant to have a bigger role than that!

Sitting there, she felt numb. She knew she needed to go to the bathroom. To check that result. All she had to do was excuse herself …

Callie leapt to her feet and turned to Lucas to say something, but he’d gone. Her eyes tracked a movement to her left and she saw him disappearing into her bathroom …

‘No!’

The bathroom door closed and she heard him lock the door.

Oh, God …

She waited.

And waited.

She heard the flush of her cistern, then the running of her sink taps. Closing her eyes in disbelief, she could see in her mind’s eye him picking up the test on the sink and finding out that …

That what? It could still be negative, couldn’t it? There was every possibility that the egg salad she’d eaten last night had been off. And the day before that? Maybe that jacket potato had been past its sell-by date …

Lucas emerged from the bathroom. He held the test in his hand and came back into her lounge, looking perplexed. His every step was heavy. Then his gaze met hers. ‘You’re pregnant?’

She stared at him, hearing the words but needing confirmation still. ‘It’s positive? Two lines?’

He turned it round so she could see and, yes, there were two solid pink lines.

Callie’s mouth went dry. Sinking back down onto the couch, she felt her head sink into her hands. Tears burned her eyes with a fire she’d never felt before.

‘You’re pregnant.’

This time it wasn’t a question.

Callie sat numb, aware only of Lucas sinking onto the couch next to her, just an inch or so away.

She hoped he wouldn’t put his arm around her, or tell her everything was going to be okay, because how could he? How could he know?

Neither of them had any idea.

So they sat in silence, staring only at the carpet.

CHAPTER ONE

DR LUCAS GOLD sat next to Callie in the ultrasound waiting room, wishing he had something he could do with his hands. Nerves were running him through with adrenaline, and he had to fight the strong urge to get out of his seat and pace the floor.

He wasn’t used to feeling out of his depth in the hospital. It was his home turf—the place he felt most secure. He knew what he was doing with work and he was looked up to and respected for it. But this situation was brand-new. Something he’d never experienced before. It was completely terrifying and he had no idea how to handle it. His insides were a mish-mash of conflicting thoughts and emotions, all jarring with each other and fighting for superiority, whilst on the outside he hoped he was maintaining an air of calm authority. As everyone was used to.

His best friend, Callie, was drinking water from a white plastic cup, an oasis of calm, whilst he sat there, rigid, a million thoughts running through his head.

‘Callie Taylor?’ A nurse in blue scrubs stood in a doorway.

He glanced at Callie, meeting her gaze and offering a supporting smile, although he knew he was probably just as nervous as she was. This situation was all just so … complicated! Not the way he’d imagined this time in his life being at all. But he tried not to show it. He didn’t want Callie worrying. He didn’t want her to think that he had any doubts at all.

Not that I do. Have doubts, that is. Not about the baby anyway.

And he knew that she just had to be as frightened of this as he was. The situation wasn’t perfect, was it? For either of them. People didn’t normally plan to have babies like this. But it was the situation they were in and he was going to make it work—no matter what. The important thing here was the baby, and he was determined to do right by his child as well as his best friend. After all, he was the one who’d got her into this mess. There were so many men who got a woman pregnant and then, when the circumstances changed, left them holding the baby.

Well, not me. I could never be that man.

They both stood and he reached out to touch her upper arm, just to offer her some reassurance. But something held him back and he stopped, letting his hand drop away, pretending not to have done it and hoping she hadn’t noticed. She wasn’t his to touch, after all.

‘After you.’

He followed her into the darkened room and stood by her side. He held his hands out as she got onto the bed, to make sure she wasn’t about to fall whilst she carried his precious cargo, before sitting down in the chair beside it.

The sonographer smiled at them both. ‘Oh, Callie, I didn’t realise it was you!’ It was one of her colleagues: Sophie. ‘Are you happy for me to perform your scan today?’

Callie nodded. ‘‘Course!’

Sophie beamed. ‘So exciting! Okay, can you confirm your name and date of birth for me?’

Callie gave the details.

‘And it says here that this is your first pregnancy?’

‘That’s right.’

Callie’s voice held a tremor and Lucas glanced at her, wondering what she was thinking.

‘And when was the date of your last period?’

‘February seventh.’

Sophie fiddled with the plastic wheel that Lucas knew was a predictor of delivery dates. ‘So that makes you twelve weeks and two days today—is that right?’

‘Yes.’

‘Okay, so what I’m going to do is ask you to lower the waistband on your trousers. I’ll put some gel on you, which might feel cold but will help the transducer move around easier and also helps with a better image. Now, do you have a full bladder?’

‘Fit to burst.’

Sophie laughed. ‘I’ll try not to press on it too hard. So, do you want to just undo your trousers for me and lower the waist?’

Lucas glanced away, looking elsewhere to give Callie some privacy. He waited for Sophie to tuck some blue paper towel into the top of Callie’s underwear before turning back. He watched the sonographer squirt on the gel, mentally hurrying her in his mind, but smiling when Callie gasped at the feel of it on her warm skin. Then he waited.

Sophie had the screen turned away from them both as she made her initial sweeps with the scanner, and Lucas had to fight every instinct in his body not to get up and go round the bed to have a look at the screen himself!

It was difficult to be the patient. To be the person on the other side. He was used to being the one who knew what was going on first. But he knew he had to wait. Sophie would be checking for an actual embryo first, then a heartbeat, before she turned the screen for them to see.

He’d have to learn how to be patient if he was going to be a good parent.

He glanced at Callie and noticed the frown on her face in the half-light. He wanted to tell her it would be all right, to hold her hand tight in his and tell her that there was nothing for her to worry about, but he knew he couldn’t. Not yet. What was the right etiquette in this situation? No one told you that at the clinic.

She’s pregnant with my child and I daren’t even touch her.

Besides, how could he tell her there was nothing to worry about? It wasn’t true, was it? There was plenty to worry about. Like how this was going to work in the first place. Maggie was supposed to be by his side at this moment, both of them watching the screen with Callie, but Maggie was gone. That was still a shock. They were on their own now and he had no idea what Callie was thinking.

Then Sophie was smiling and turning the screen. ‘There you are … your baby.’

‘Oh, my God!’

Lucas couldn’t quite believe it! After all the uncertainty—all the testing, the waiting, the drugs, the injections, the tests. After all this time … There it was. A tiny grey bean shape, nestling in Callie’s womb, its tiny heart busily beating away. It was amazing. Surreal.

My child …

His eyes burned into the screen, imprinting the shape of his child, the beat of its strong heart, into his memory for ever. This was something that could never be forgotten. Pride filled his soul and he felt an instant connection and a surge of protectiveness for his little bean—and for Callie.

He’d waited so long for this moment …

To be a father … it’s real … it’s happening …

A laugh of relief escaped him and he reached out without thinking and grabbed Callie’s hands in his, not noticing her flinch, forgetting that she wasn’t good with physical contact. His prior fears were forgotten in the moment of joy.

‘Can you believe it, Callie?’

She shook her head, not speaking, and he saw the welling of tears in her own eyes and was glad. He wouldn’t normally be glad to see anyone well up with tears or cry, but this was different. They were in a difficult situation, the pair of them, thrown together into having a baby when they weren’t even a couple. Now Maggie had gone they had to find a way through this situation themselves …

After Maggie had left them both in the lurch they’d initially struggled even to be in the same room as each other. It had been so hard to know what to do or say in their situation. And so wrong that they had to feel that way! They were best friends and always had been.

Maggie had been quick to see a solicitor and apply for a divorce. She’d said it was best for both of them. She’d been quick to sever all ties.

As the days had passed the atmosphere between him and Callie had got a little less awkward—though it still wasn’t what it once had been. He knew Callie had as much adjustment to make to this situation as he had—if not more. It was a tough test of their friendship … one that neither of them could ever have imagined they would have to face. They were both testing the water like anxious ducklings, not knowing if they were going to sink or swim.

Each day that they worked together brought new challenges for both of them. He could sense her awkwardness each time she worked with him. Often he found himself craving the relaxed atmosphere they’d used to have with each other. The ability to laugh at the same things, to predict what the other was thinking.

Only last week he’d helped her out on a particularly difficult shoulder dystocia and, though they’d worked together efficiently for their patient, the old rapport had not been the same and he’d felt the tension between them return the second the baby had been delivered safely. When he’d left the patient’s room he’d banged his fist against the wall with frustration at the whole situation.

But he was thrilled that seeing the baby meant something to Callie too. After all, he knew she’d never wanted to have a baby of her own. Not after the way she’d been treated by her own mother. Callie’s childhood had been bloody awful compared to his. To see that she was just as affected as he was at seeing the baby onscreen was priceless.