The Friends We Keep

“This sucks,” she said bluntly. “You have done everything medically possible to carry a baby to term. I know how important this is to you. I wish you could know how I hate telling you this. I’m sorry, Hayley. If it’s this painful for me, I can’t imagine how awful it is for you. But you have to get through this. The surgery is necessary to save your life.”

She reached for a card on her desk. “I’d like you to see another specialist. She’s at UCLA. Talk to her. Get a second opinion and a third. But please, don’t wait too long.”

Because time was never on her side, she thought, the cold deepening until she couldn’t feel anything else.

Hayley nodded. “Okay. Thanks. I get it.”

She stood and collected the material she’d brought with her. She could feel herself moving, but something wasn’t right. It was as if she were underwater, or fighting through being slightly out of space and time. The cold was the only constant.

“I’m sorry,” Dr. Pearce repeated. “Hayley, you have my cell number. Call me anytime. I mean that.”

“Sure. I will.”

She walked out of the office and back to the waiting room. Rob stood there.

“Are you going to listen to Dr. Pearce?” he asked. “Did you hear what she was saying? I don’t want you to die. We have to stop. You have to schedule the surgery.”

As cold as she felt, she was surprised her teeth weren’t chattering. She couldn’t feel her hands or her feet. Her heartbeat sounded loud in her ears, making it difficult to hear what her husband was saying.

Maybe this was shock, she told herself. Maybe it was a bad dream.

“We should go,” she said. “We’re done here.”

He looked at her for a long time. “I wish I could believe that.”

* * *

Gabby had met Nicole over a year ago through Shannon, Gabby’s sister-in-law. Casual conversation had turned to going to Supper’s in the Bag together which had morphed into friendship. Gabby knew in her head that Nicole ran an exercise studio that specialized in Pilates. She’d seen her friend in various outfits and knew the other woman was in great shape. But all that intellectual knowledge had not prepared her for a class at Mischief in Motion.

Mat Pilates had sounded easy enough. The mat part implied lying down. At least she wouldn’t be running and jumping. But halfway through her first class, she realized that the mat was just there to taunt her. There might not be running and jumping but there was more pain than she’d ever thought possible. Nicole wanted her to do things that the human body just wasn’t meant to do. At least hers wasn’t.

“Five more seconds,” Nicole said, sounding more like a drill sergeant than a friend. “And hold. Three, two, one and relax.”

Gabby fell onto her back. She was sweating and quivering. The sweating was gross but expected. What she objected to the most was the quivering. Even though the exercise was over, her stomach muscles continued to tremble. That couldn’t be good.

Nicole, all skinny and fit in black exercise leggings and a black and hot-pink racer-back tank, knelt by her mat.

“You doing okay?” she asked.

“No. I can’t move.”

“Just do what you can. This is a pretty advanced class. When we’re done here, let’s go over the schedule and find something you’ll enjoy more.”

“You mean a class with fat, out-of-shape people with emotional eating problems?” Gabby was trying to be funny but had a bad feeling she only sounded pathetic.

“I was thinking that a class geared to someone who’s been busy with her family might be better, but you call it what you want.” Nicole rose. “Okay, everyone. We’ll finish with the plank.”

Everyone rolled over and shifted into the plank position. Well, everyone except Gabby. She tried to sit up only to find that her body failed her. Pain joined the quivering. She rolled onto her side and managed to push herself up so she was at least sitting.

She watched the other women in the class hold their pose as Nicole counted the time. Three of the women dropped out at a minute, which left Shannon and Pam still going. At two minutes, Gabby felt her mouth drop open. Shannon was in fantastic shape, damn her, but Pam was over fifty. She looked great and obviously worked out a lot. Gabby figured she could either be inspired or feel bitter. Right now, bitter was winning.

“Three minutes,” Nicole said out loud.

“Ready to call it?” Pam asked, sounding out of breath.

“Yes. One, two, three.”

On three they both collapsed. Everyone applauded. Gabby told herself she would remember this moment and when she was faced with cookies or brownies, she would think of Pam. She might also eat a cookie, but it would be with Pam in mind.

Shannon stood and walked over. “How are you holding up?” she asked.

“I have no idea,” Gabby admitted.

The other woman held out her hand, to help Gabby to her feet. Gabby took it and forced herself to stand. Her legs were shaking and she felt a little sick to her stomach.

“I hate exercise,” she admitted to herself as the rest of the students collected their things and left.

Nicole brought her a bottle of water. “Drink. Then come look at the schedule.”

“You did great,” Pam told her. “This is a tough class. Nicole works us extra hard, so the fact that you got through it shows grit. When I first started, I had the endurance of a noodle.”

“I’ve always liked pasta,” Gabby admitted.

The other women laughed.

Pam walked over to her tote bag. A head popped out. Gabby looked at the delicate Chinese crested and compared her to Boomer. They were barely the same species.

Lulu seemed more alien than dog, with a bare body that was sort of gray with white splotches. On her tail, head and feet, she had pure white fluffy fur. Today she had on a blue T-shirt with little hearts on it.

The dog might be weird-looking, but she was very well behaved. Boomer could learn a thing or two from her. Not that his lack of manners was his fault, Gabby admitted. She hadn’t taken enough time to train him. Pam reached for Lulu and the little dog jumped into her arms.

Pam returned to the group and everyone sat down on the mats. Gabby joined them. She didn’t have to be anywhere for a while.

“When’s your next trip?” Shannon asked Pam.

“September.” Pam turned to Gabby. “I have some friends I cruise with. We’re doing a quick cruise around Spain and Portugal.”

“They’re wild women,” Nicole added. “I keep expecting to hear you’ve mooned some island.”

“I don’t think my butt is big enough that I could moon an entire island,” Pam said as she stroked Lulu. “Maybe a beach. Hmm, I’ll get back to you on that.”

Shannon patted her lap and the little dog jumped gracefully over. “You’re going to stay with me, sweet girl. Aren’t you?”

“Char and Oliver must love that,” Gabby said. “The twins adore her.” Lulu had quite the wardrobe and was happy to play dress up.

“How long will you be gone?” Gabby asked Pam.

“Nearly two weeks. The cruise is a week, then I’m staying with friends.”

“Has anyone talked to Hayley?” Nicole asked. “I left her a message a couple of days ago and haven’t heard back from her.”

“I haven’t, either,” Gabby said. “I’ll text her when I get home.”

There was a moment of awkward silence. The women looked at each other. Gabby would guess they were each trying to figure out what to say.

“If something had happened, we would have heard,” Gabby said. “Rob would call one of us.”

“Even if he didn’t, Steven would know,” Pam added. “He would have said something. He knows better than to keep something like that from me.”

Despite being part of the Los Angeles metropolitan area, Mischief Bay was, at heart, a small town. Hayley worked for Steven Eiland who owned a plumbing company. Steven was Pam’s son.

“Poor Hayley,” Nicole murmured. “I worry about her.”

“Me, too.” Gabby knew her friend desperately wanted to have a baby, but she’d been through so much.

“Everybody has their own path.” Pam stretched her legs out in front of her.

“You got that right. The baby thing is complicated.” Shannon hugged Lulu. “Maybe I should get a dog.”

“You work too many hours,” Pam pointed out.

Gabby watched Shannon and wondered if her sister-in-law ever felt regrets. Shannon had an amazing career. She was CFO for a successful software company. But she was forty-one and hadn’t married until the previous year. She and Adam, Gabby’s older brother, didn’t have any kids of their own. Adam had two from a previous marriage. He and Shannon had just finished up the paperwork and approval process to be foster parents. Talk about changing their lives. They were going to make a difference, but Gabby wasn’t sure that was enough for a woman who really wanted kids. While she envied her sister-in-law her career, she wouldn’t have given up the twins for anything. She’d always wanted both.

But that decision left her wondering if having it all meant doing a lot of it badly.

Chapter Seven

Nicole enjoyed the company of her friends. This was when her job didn’t feel like work. To be honest, except for the paperwork and payroll, which she hated, none of it did. She’d been blessed, she told herself. Owning Mischief in Motion was a dream.

She shifted so she and Pam sat facing each other, legs outstretched, feet touching. They reached out and grabbed hands, then Pam pulled Nicole toward her into a forward bend. The hamstring stretch was perfect, Nicole thought, letting her body relax. She sat up and pulled her friend forward. Pam leaned into the motion.

“You’re exhausting me,” Gabby grumbled. “Can’t you two let it be? Class is over. I still have to crawl to my car.”

Nicole grinned at her. “You should stretch or you’re going to hurt tomorrow.”

“I’ll hurt tomorrow anyway.”

Pam released Nicole and patted Gabby’s thigh. “Don’t join the beginner’s class. Stay with us. We’re more fun.”

“This class will kill me.”

“You say that now,” Nicole told her. “But trust me. In a few weeks, you’ll be able to keep up.”

Gabby groaned. “You’re so lying.”

The other women laughed.

Nicole knew she was telling the truth. Gabby was out of shape and needed to lose a few pounds—Nicole guessed close to thirty to be in fighting shape. But not everyone wanted to work out. That made no sense to her. She’d been active her whole life. But then when Hayley had tricked her into signing up for a knitting class, Nicole had hated everything about it. She’d quit rather than risk doing someone in with a knitting needle.

“It’s whatever you want,” she told her friend. “You are welcome at any of my classes. This one is more advanced, but you know everyone. My beginner’s class is definitely easier, but less social.”

“You can try the other one,” Shannon suggested. “Then figure out what you want to do.”

“Always with the reason,” Pam said as she stood. “You continue to impress me, missy.” She stretched up her arms, then shook out her shoulders. “I have to go. Lulu and I have a busy afternoon planned. See you all on Friday.”

Pam collected her tote, picked up Lulu. Gabby limped after her.

“Take a hot shower,” Nicole told her. “And an anti-inflammatory.”

Gabby groaned, waved and walked out of the studio. Shannon went to get her things and Nicole headed for her office. She had a couple of hours until her next class. As she passed by the front door of the studio, she saw someone approaching. A man. A familiar man with dark hair and beautiful brown eyes.

She came to a stop, not sure what to do. There was nowhere to run. Nowhere to hide. Okay, she could hole up in the bathroom, but for how long?

She pressed a hand to her suddenly fluttering stomach. Well, crap.

“Nicole, are you okay?” Shannon asked.

Nicole twisted her fingers together and motioned to the door. Before she could speak, Jairus walked inside.

“Hey,” he said. “You do work here. I wasn’t sure the counselor at Tyler’s camp was giving me right information.”

Shannon walked briskly toward him. Despite wearing capri-length leggings and a tank top, she radiated control and power.

“Hello,” she said, holding out her hand. “I’m Shannon. Who are you?”

“Jairus Sterenberg.”

Shannon’s eyes widened. “The Brad the Dragon guy. That was this week? Huh. I thought you’d have horns.” She looked at Nicole. “Do we like him?”

“Horns?” Jairus repeated.

Nicole shrugged. “I don’t know. I don’t think so. He’s not evil.”

“You know I’m standing here, right?”

Shannon ignored him. “Was he good with the kids?”

“Yes, but it could have been an act.”

Jairus frowned. “It wasn’t an act. I like kids. That’s why I write kids’ books. And I’m still right here.”

Shannon sighed as she looked at him. “We obviously don’t care about that.” She turned back to Nicole. “I’m going to make a phone call. I’ll be by my car.” She pointed. “Right there. Where I can see everything.”

Nicole nodded, grateful for the not very subtle message that she wasn’t going to be alone with Jairus. Because being alone with him was confusing. Or uncomfortable. Tingle-worthy but weird.

Nicole forced herself to face Jairus. “You’re here,” she said unnecessarily. Still, the obvious observation seemed to be the safest.

“I am.” He smiled. “Hi.”

He had a good smile. Easy. Friendly. Appealing. She found herself wanting to step toward him. To smile back. To give in to whatever he was asking.

No, no and no. She took a step back and folded her arms across her chest. “Hello.”

He didn’t seem deterred by her body language. “I wanted to see you again.”

“Why?”

The smile broadened. “You can’t still be mad at me. I apologized sincerely.”

“How do I know it was sincere?”

“You know. I was mortified.”

She couldn’t remember the last time a man had used the word mortified in a conversation. Huh. “You’re right. You did apologize. So why are you here?”

“I thought we could get coffee.”

“I’m at work.”

He glanced around the empty studio. “You don’t have a class.”

“I will.”

“Then dinner.”

He was asking her out? This was the first time a guy had asked her out since she’d met Eric nearly eight years ago. She hadn’t dated since the divorce, hadn’t been interested. And she wasn’t now, no matter how good Jairus looked or how easy his smile.

“No, thank you.”

“Why not? I’m a nice guy, Nicole. I have a steady job, I like kids. Your son thinks I’m amazing.”

“Tyler thinks Brad the Dragon is amazing. You’re just the delivery system.”

“Ouch.” The smile faded. He pressed a hand to his chest. “Is it that you’re mad about before or you just don’t like me?”

“I don’t know you well enough to like or dislike you, and I’m not mad. I’m just not interested.”

He took a step toward her. The movement wasn’t threatening, so she didn’t move back. Instead it seemed as if he were trying to figure something out.

“Okay,” he said slowly. “Goodbye.”

He left. Just like that. No backward glance, nothing. Nicole stared after him, not sure what she felt. She’d thought he would make another run at asking her out. Apparently she’d been very clear in dismissing him.

Shannon walked back into the studio. “Well?”

“He’s gone. He asked me out, I said no and he left.”

Her friend glanced over her shoulder to where Jairus was driving away. His car was a black sedan. A BMW, but not overly flashy—at least for LA.

“Did you like him?” Shannon asked. “I know you hate all things Brad the Dragon, but I’m talking about the man. Was he nice? Were you tempted?”

“I don’t know. Why?”

Shannon touched her arm. “You’re my friend and I love you. I also worry about you. It’s been over a year since you and Eric split. The divorce has been final for months and months, but to the best of my knowledge, you haven’t gone out with anyone. Aren’t you lonely? Don’t you want a romantic relationship in your life?”

“I don’t know,” Nicole admitted, telling the absolute truth. “I don’t let myself think about it.”

Shannon’s gaze turned sympathetic. “That’s what I thought. Maybe this is a good time to find out why.”

* * *

When Gabby was a kid, Legos had been a toy only boys played with. At least in her circle of friends. Sometime in the past twenty years, they’d developed a line of Legos for girls. As she carefully applied the sticker to what would be a scale in a pink-and-purple vet’s office, she thought this was actually kind of fun. Building things with her girls.

The directions were simple and visual. The twins took turns putting the pieces together. They had already named both the cat and the dog, and had big plans for adding this business to their Lego village.

She finished with the sticker and handed the little piece to Kenzie, who carefully snapped it into place. Her hands were so small, Gabby thought. With tiny fingers. Sometimes it was hard to imagine the girls would grow into adults in just a few years. While part of her looked forward to watching the evolution, she had to admit, having them stay her girls forever would be kind of nice.

“Anybody home?”

The question came from downstairs. The three of them looked at each other before the twins shrieked in unison and headed for the stairs. Gabby followed, wondering what brought Andrew home at three o’clock on a Wednesday.

“Daddy! Daddy!”

Gabby walked into the kitchen to find Andrew holding a twin in each arm. He smiled at her.

“My afternoon meeting got canceled, so I headed home.”

She walked over and kissed him, then took Kennedy from him and set her on the floor. “It’s a very nice surprise.”

“I like surprises,” Kennedy said.

“Me, too,” her twin agreed.

Andrew winked. “Some surprises are very nice.” He loosened his tie. “I thought I’d take the girls with me. We’ll go pick up Makayla and grab dinner. Does that work for you?”

He was offering her an evening alone, to do whatever she wanted. A gift as rare as a natural blue diamond.

“That would be amazing,” she admitted. What to do first? A nap? Read? A bath? If she took a bath, she could also read and have a glass of wine. Talk about heaven.

“Thank you.”

“Anything for you.” Andrew lowered Kenzie to the floor, then picked up his briefcase from the counter. “Oh, I almost forgot. This weekend the new wheelbarrows are being unveiled.” He frowned. “Revealed. Whatever it’s called. We should go see them.”

The twins clapped their hands together, then danced around him.

“Can we?” Kennedy asked.

“We want to go,” her twin added.

The wheelbarrows were an interesting tradition in Mischief Bay. When the town had first been founded, criminals—mostly drunks—had been transported to jail in wheelbarrows. In the past ten years, they’d become a tradition in town. They were a fun charity moneymaker. People bid on the chance to decorate a wheelbarrow for a year. Gabby had first met Andrew at a fund-raiser for the wheelbarrows.

She’d been young—only a few months out of law school. She’d spotted him right away. He’d been talking with a group of people, engaged in their conversation, but also watching her.

She’d had boyfriends, of course, some of them serious. But no one like Andrew. No one that funny and sweet and together. He’d walked up to her and smiled and she’d been lost. The more she’d gotten to know him, the more she’d liked him. Their relationship had been a natural progression. Dating, falling in love, getting married. There hadn’t been any drama, no questions.

She remembered the first time she’d spent the night at his apartment. They’d been dating about two months and while she’d wanted him, she’d been nervous. Her lovers had been guys her own age, most of whom weren’t exactly experts. What if she’d been doing it wrong? Andrew was so sophisticated and out of her league.

When they were done—both out of breath, with her still trembling—he’d pulled her close. “You are so incredibly perfect,” he’d whispered. “How did I ever get so lucky as to find you?”

She thought of that now, of how he always looked out for her. His caring wasn’t always done in big gestures, like the Nordstrom card. There were little things, like taking the girls.

“I would love to see the wheelbarrows this weekend,” she told him.

The girls cheered.

“Let me run upstairs and change,” he told her. “Then we’ll head off and you can start your evening.”

“Perfect.”

She took the twins to the bathroom they shared and put sunscreen on them. No doubt they would be outside at some point. There was a brief discussion about what to wear before Kenzie decided their shorts and T-shirts would be just fine.

Andrew joined them. He’d replaced his suit and tie with jeans and a deep blue golf shirt that matched his eyes.

He was still so attractive. He ran a couple of mornings a week and when he traveled, he always worked out at the hotel gym. She thought of her disastrous performance at Nicole’s studio and knew that her unexpected free time would probably be better spent going for a walk or doing sit-ups, but there was no way that was going to happen. Wine, bath and book, here I come.

The four of them headed downstairs. “You’ll pick up Makayla on your way,” she reminded him.

“Promise.”

She kissed each of the girls, then him. “What are you going to do?”

“I’ll take them shopping before dinner.”

“For what?” Kennedy asked.

“Something fun?” Kenzie added. “We need more Legos.”

“You do not,” Gabby said with a laugh. “If you get any more, we’ll be forced to move and none of us want that.”

The girls laughed. Andrew grinned. “I figured we’d go get booster seats.”

The girls started dancing and shrieking.

Gabby felt her good mood fade. “What? Why? We decided they were going to stay in their car seats a few more months.”

Andrew raised one shoulder. “We also talked about replacing them with booster seats. Come on, Gabby, they hassle you daily. Can you really deal with that for a few more months?”

Yes. Of course. They couldn’t let five-year-olds dictate decisions like this. Nor did she want the twins learning that if they complained enough, their parents gave in. Talk about the wrong message.

Both girls stared at her. Gabby knew that if she told him no, he would back down. But then she would be the villain. The one who took away the new, shiny thing. That her life would be hell every time she tried to get them into their car seats. “But Daddy said” would be a constant refrain.

She battled against anger. This was so wrong, she thought. Making the decision without her. Telling the girls so that she couldn’t really say no. She hated being put in this position.

“Is it really so bad?” he asked. “The car is safe and they ride in the back.”

“You’re not helping,” she told him.

“Mommy, please,” Kennedy pleaded.

“Yes, Mommy. Please, please, please.”

Everything about this was wrong, she thought grimly. From Andrew ambushing her to her giving in. Because it all came down to, as her husband often said, her willingness to die on this hill.

“All right,” she said.

The girls flung themselves at her. Andrew leaned in and kissed her.

“Was that so hard?” he asked. “Go have fun. We’ll be home around eight. I promise the girls will be tired and ready for their bath.”

She nodded and watched them leave. She knew she’d been outplayed. Worse, she’d been weak. What she didn’t understand was why it always seemed to come down to surrender or being the bad guy. When was there any middle ground?

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