The Rebel Who Loved Her

Ewan took a taxi to his brother’s flat and let himself in, using the key Ryan had left with a neighbour. He dumped his bag on the living room floor and flopped down onto a chair with a sigh that stemmed partly from weariness but mainly from frustration. What was wrong with Becky? Why had she behaved so warily towards him?

Closing his eyes, he tried to conjure up her image, surprised by how easy it was. He’d not thought about her in ages and yet—hey, presto!—there she was in his head: honey-gold hair, hazel eyes, that pert little nose. She had changed, of course, but she was still incredibly pretty. Although she was a shade too thin in his opinion, she had a very feminine figure with curves in all the right places….

He groaned as his body responded with predictable enthusiasm to that thought. He might be bone-tired but his libido was in fine fettle! Not that it should be a surprise because Becky had always had this effect on him. In fact, he couldn’t think of a single woman he’d dated in the past eight years who had aroused him the way Becky had done.

The thought was too near the knuckle. Ewan got up and went into the kitchen. Ryan had told him to make himself at home so he took him at his word as he set to and made himself a fry-up. Eggs, bacon, sausages—the plate was heaving by the time he finished. He sat down at the table and tucked in, but after a couple of mouthfuls was forced to admit defeat. He didn’t want food. He wanted answers. He wanted to know what was wrong with Becky and he wouldn’t rest until he found out, although he refused to delve too deeply into the reason why. Suffice it to say that Becky had meant a lot to him at one point. Even though that was all in the past, he hoped they could be friends.

He got up and scraped the uneaten food into the bin, trying to ignore the mocking little voice in his head. Friendship was all he wanted from her. Nothing more!

It was several days before Becky got over her jet-lag. Fortunately, Millie didn’t seem to be affected by it and soon settled down in their new home. Her parents had had her old room redecorated so it felt less like stepping back in time than it could have done. They’d also turned her brother’s room into a bright and cheerful nursery, complete with lots of colourful posters of Millie’s favourite cartoon characters.

Becky could tell they’d gone to a great deal of trouble to make her and Millie feel welcome and she was grateful, but it still felt odd to be living under their roof again. She made up her mind that she would find a place of her own as soon as she could, and that meant finding a job. Although she scoured the local papers each day, there were very few jobs available. As a highly qualified nurse practitioner, she had a lot to offer, but cutbacks in the health service meant there were few posts being advertised. All she could hope was that something would turn up eventually.

She was washing the breakfast dishes a week after she’d returned when her father poked his head round the kitchen door. Millie was helping her and the floor was awash with soap suds. ‘Mind you don’t slip,’ she warned him. ‘This little lady gets as much water on the floor as she gets on the dishes.’

‘I wonder who she takes after,’ Simon said, drolly. He stepped over the puddles and dropped a kiss on his granddaughter’s head. ‘You are doing a wonderful job helping Mummy, poppet.’

Millie smiled beatifically as she beat her small hands up and down in the water and Becky groaned. ‘It’ll be like Noah’s flood in here soon. We’ll need our very own ark!’

Simon laughed. ‘It’s only water, sweetheart. It will soon mop up. Anyway, seeing as Millie is happily occupied, can I have a word?’

‘Of course.’ Becky dried her hands on a towel, wondering what he wanted to speak to her about. ‘Nothing’s wrong, is there?’

‘No, no, not at all,’ Simon assured her. ‘It’s just that I have a proposition for you but before I tell you what it is, I want you to promise me that you’ll say no if you don’t like the idea.’

‘That sounds very mysterious,’ Becky said, laughing.

Simon smiled. ‘I suppose it does. It’s just that I don’t want you to feel that you’re under any sort of … well, obligation.’

‘Curiouser and curiouser. Come on, Dad, tell me what’s going on.’

‘All right. You know that Brenda Roberts took over as practice nurse at the surgery when Emily left to get married?’

‘Yes. Brenda came out of retirement so she could help you.’

‘That’s right.’ Simon sighed. ‘I was really grateful to her, too. Although we had plenty of interest when we advertised the post, we didn’t find anyone who we felt would fit in.’

‘It’s difficult to find the right person,’ Becky observed.

‘Exactly. Anyway, Brenda’s just informed me that she would like to leave at the end of the month. Apparently, her husband, Fred, is taking early retirement and they’ve decided to go and live in their apartment in Spain.’

‘What a shame!’ Becky exclaimed. ‘Not for Brenda and Fred of course, but it’s going to make life difficult for you and the rest of the team.’

‘It is. It will mean us having to advertise again and that will take time. That’s why I was wondering if you’d consider helping out?’

‘You want me to cover until you find someone?’

‘Yes. Or, better still, maybe consider taking the job on a permanent basis,’ Simon said quietly. ‘With all the changes we’re having to make now that we’ve been awarded health centre status, I need staff I can rely on. You fit the bill perfectly, darling, although I’ll understand if you feel it’s too much, living and working with your father.’

‘I’d never thought about it,’ Becky said slowly. ‘But it does make sense. I mean, I need a job and if I’m working here at the surgery then I’ll be on hand for Millie. I have to admit that I was worried about leaving her for long stretches, even if she was with Mum.’

‘So you’ll think about it?’ Simon said hopefully.

Becky smiled. ‘There’s nothing to think about. I’d be delighted to take the job if you think I’m suitable.’

‘Great!’ Simon gave her a hug then glanced at his watch. He grimaced. ‘I know this is a bit of cheek, but is there any chance that you could start right away? We’re overrun with patients needing BP checks this morning and it would really help to take the pressure off us if you would give Brenda a hand.’

‘Slave driver!’ Becky laughed. ‘Of course I can start immediately, so long as Mum will look after Millie.’

‘Oh, there’s no problem about that. Your mother is longing to have this little one all to herself for a couple of hours,’ Simon assured her. ‘I’ll just let her know what’s happening.’

Becky cleared up after her father left, feeling her spirits lift when it struck her that she’d taken her first step towards regaining her independence. Once she was earning regular money, she could look for a place of her own, somewhere she could turn into a proper home for her and Millie. Millie needed stability after all the recent upsets and Becky was determined she was going to give her that.

A shadow darkened her face as she lifted the little girl down from the chair and dried her hands. What had Steve said during their last fateful conversation, that he wished they’d never had a child? Her mouth compressed. No way was Millie ever going to find out that her father had wished she hadn’t been born! It had been a terrible thing to say even in the heat of anger. She couldn’t imagine Ewan even thinking such a thing, let alone saying it.

She sighed as once again she found herself thinking about Ewan. Although she had tried to blot out all thoughts of him, she hadn’t succeeded. Their chance encounter had affected her far more than it should have done and she could only thank her lucky stars that it was unlikely they would meet again. Their paths certainly wouldn’t cross when Ewan was working in London and she was living and working here.

‘Mrs Rose? I’m Ewan MacLeod, one of the registrars. I believe you took a bit of a tumble this morning.’

Ewan smiled at the elderly lady lying on the bed. It was midday and he hadn’t stopped since he’d arrived at six that morning. The emergency department of Pinscombe General Hospital was a very busy place. It served the communities of three major towns plus a number of smaller ones like Bride’s Bay.

His heart gave that all-too-familiar jolt it had started doing every time Bride’s Bay was mentioned, and he swallowed a sigh. He really was a sad case if the mere mention of the place where Becky lived had this effect on him. Drawing up a chair, he sat down beside the bed. It was time to concentrate on his patient.

‘Can you tell me what happened, Mrs Rose?’

‘It was so silly, really,’ the old lady replied. ‘I was carrying my washing out to peg it on the line when I tripped over Mog.’

‘Mog? Who’s that, then? Your dog?’

‘No, my cat, of course,’ Edith Rose said sharply, treating him to a frosty glare.

Ewan grimaced. ‘My mistake. Sorry.’ He frowned. ‘But why on earth did you call your cat Mog? I thought moggies were mice.’

‘Hmm, it all depends which part of the country you come from,’ Mrs Rose informed him tartly. ‘Where I come from, young man, a moggy is a cat.’

‘I stand corrected.’ Ewan laughed, pleased to see that there was nothing wrong with her mental faculties. He had a feeling that Mrs Rose wouldn’t appreciate the usual questions used to determine an elderly patient’s mental prowess, such as the date and the name of the current prime minister. He put a tick in the relevant box on the patient’s history and heard the old lady sniff.

‘Convinced you that I’m compos mentis, have I?’

‘Absolutely.’ Ewan put the clipboard down and folded his arms. ‘There’s nothing wrong with your mind, Mrs Rose.’

‘I wish you’d tell that to my son. He seems to think I’m going gaga. No doubt he’ll try to use this as an excuse to put me into a nursing home.’

Ewan frowned when he heard the tremor in the old lady’s voice. ‘I take it that it isn’t what you want?’

‘Certainly not. I’ve lived on my own for almost forty years now since my husband died. I couldn’t bear the thought of having to live with a group of strangers.’

‘There’s no reason why you should have to leave your home because of this accident,’ Ewan assured her. He picked up the tablet computer and showed her the X-ray she’d had done on admission. ‘There’s no sign of a fracture. Granted, your leg is badly bruised and the cut will need dressing to make sure it heals properly, but you’ll be back on your feet in no time.’

‘Are you sure?’ Relief washed over the old lady’s face when he nodded. ‘Thank heavens. Geoffrey has been going on and on about me moving into a home and I was sure this would be the excuse he needed to have me admitted.’

Ewan shook his head. ‘No. So long as you feel that you can manage on your own, that’s fine. And even if you do have problems, there’s help available. Your GP should be able to put you in touch with social services and they can assess the level of help you need.’

‘That’s a weight off my mind, I can tell you.’ Edith Rose smiled at him. ‘Thank you, young man. You’ve made an old lady very happy.’

‘Good.’ Ewan laughed as he stood up. ‘I’m just going to phone your GP and let him know what’s happened. As I said, your leg will need dressing so we need to arrange for it to be done at the surgery.’

‘Old flesh doesn’t heal as fast as young does,’ Mrs Rose observed wryly and he grinned.

‘I’m afraid not.’

He went to the desk to make the call, unsurprised to discover that Mrs Rose was registered with Bride’s Bay Surgery. A lot of the people he’d seen since he’d started at Pinscombe General had been registered with the practice, which meant it must be a very busy place to work. He asked to speak to the practice nurse when the receptionist answered, shaking his head when one of the nurses came over to see if he could look at a patient for her.

‘I’m tied up at the moment,’ he began then stopped when a voice came over the line, a voice that was all too familiar.

‘Sister Williams speaking. How may I help you?’

Ewan turned to face the wall, not wanting anything to distract him. The one thing he had never anticipated was that Becky would answer his call. He took a deep breath, deliberately ironing all trace of emotion from his voice. Maybe it did feel as though his head was being whirled around inside a washing machine on the spin cycle but he wasn’t going to let Becky know that.

‘Becky, it’s Ewan MacLeod.’ He gave a short laugh, praying that it sounded less forced to her than it did to him. ‘This is a surprise. Again!’

CHAPTER THREE

‘EWAN!’

Becky felt shock race through her when she recognised Ewan’s voice. It was all she could do to concentrate as he continued in the same teasing tone.

‘Of all the surgeries in all the world … I had no idea you were working there.’

‘I … um … it came as a surprise to me too, actually.’ She finally managed to gather her addled wits, relieved to hear that she sounded almost normal. Maybe it had been a surprise to hear Ewan’s voice but did it really explain why it had sent her into such a spin? She blanked out the thought, not wanting to set off down a route that was guaranteed to lead to more questions. ‘Dad needed a practice nurse for the surgery and asked me if I’d consider taking the job, and I agreed.’

‘Sounds ideal to me. Not only are you able to earn your living but you’re on hand if Millie needs you.’

‘Exactly,’ Becky agreed, wondering how he always managed to hit on the salient point. Ewan possessed the rare ability to cut through all the dross and see the bigger picture. It was something else she had admired about him, she realised, his ability to get to the heart of a matter with so little fuss. Steve had been the exact opposite, sadly. He’d got so caught up in the details that he had often failed to appreciate the real crux of an issue. Whenever that had happened, he had blamed everyone else, too, rather than himself. It was one of the things she had disliked most about him, in fact.

The thought made her feel incredibly guilty. It didn’t seem right that she should compare the two men, especially when she had found her late husband lacking. She hurried on, wanting to get the conversation onto a more solid footing. ‘Anyway, I take it that this isn’t a social call?’

‘No. I have one of your patients with me, a Mrs Edith Rose.’ Ewan was all business as he explained what had happened. ‘The cut on her leg is quite deep and it will need dressing. I was hoping I could arrange for her to be seen at the surgery.’

‘Of course.’ Becky opened the diary, relieved to turn her attention to other matters. Ewan was Ewan and Steve had been Steve; she mustn’t make the mistake of weighing one against the other. ‘I’ll book her in for Wednesday morning at eleven. If the dressing’s only been done today, it would be better not to disturb it, although tell her to contact me if she has any problems, won’t you?’

‘I shall. She’s a feisty old lady, very alert and determined, although she does seem worried that her son may try to use the accident as an excuse to have her admitted to a nursing home.’

‘I see.’ Becky frowned. ‘You don’t believe that’s necessary, obviously.’

‘Definitely not,’ he said firmly. ‘In my opinion, Mrs Rose is more than capable of looking after herself, although perhaps she could do with a bit of help.’

‘Would you like me to have word with her about what social services can offer?’ Becky suggested.

‘Are you a mind reader? That’s exactly what I was going to ask you to do!’

Becky felt her breath catch when she heard him laugh. He really did have the most attractive laugh, she thought, so soft and deep and so very, very sexy. She took a quick breath, forcing some much-needed air into her lungs. ‘Great minds think alike, or so they say?’

‘They certainly do.’

There it was again, that delicious, toe-tingling rumble coming down the line, and Becky’s lungs went into spasm once more. She was glad that Ewan didn’t seem to expect a reply as he explained that he would fax through a copy of Mrs Rose’s notes. By the time he’d finished, she was able to speak again, although she kept it brief, wary of pushing things too far.

‘I’ll make sure the information is entered on her file.’

‘Thanks. Right, I won’t keep you any longer. Good to speak to you, Becky. Maybe we’ll run into one another again at some point.’

‘Maybe.’

Becky hung up then went to the window, needing a few minutes to herself before she called in her next patient. So Ewan wasn’t working in London as she’d thought. He was right here in Devon, just a few miles away. Even though it shouldn’t make a scrap of difference, she knew that it did. Did she want to see him again? If anyone had suggested it a week ago, her answer would have been a resounding no, but she was no longer sure. Talking to Ewan had aroused feelings inside her she had never expected to feel again after what had happened with Steve.

Discovering that Steve had had an affair with one of his colleagues had turned her off sex. Even though she had tried to overcome her distaste and make a go of their marriage for Millie’s sake, making love had become a penance rather than a pleasure. The fact that Steve had used it to excuse his own behaviour had only made matters worse. He’d called her frigid, told her that it was little wonder he’d had to seek comfort in another woman’s arms. Although Becky had known it wasn’t true, part of her had wondered if she was to blame in some way. Now, after talking to Ewan, she realised how unjust the accusation had been.

She wasn’t frigid—far from it! She could and did respond to a man. However, the fact that it was Ewan who pushed all the right buttons was what worried her. Ewan wasn’t interested in settling down. He enjoyed playing the field and one woman would never be enough for him, not that she was in the market for another relationship. She had tried her best to make her marriage work and failed, and she wasn’t going to put herself through that heartache again, especially when there was even less chance now of a relationship working. Maybe Ewan was happily single at the moment but the time might come when he decided to settle down and start a family, and a family was the one thing she couldn’t give him or any other man.

She sighed. It would be far better if she steered well clear of Ewan in future.

Ewan found it impossible to stop thinking about Becky. At odd moments throughout the week, thoughts of her would pop into his head. He couldn’t rid himself of the thought that there was something troubling her and it only served to pique his interest even more. When his mother phoned and invited him to lunch on Sunday, he found himself agreeing even though he had planned to start redecorating the flat he was renting. The previous tenant had had a penchant for red and after a couple of weeks of waking up to pulsating scarlet walls, he desperately needed to do something about it. However, the décor could wait. Finding out what was worrying Becky seemed far more important.

He set off early on Sunday morning and made good time. It was the beginning of April and the main bulk of tourists hadn’t arrived yet so the roads were clear. His parents lived in Denton’s Cove but he bypassed the turning to their house and headed into Bride’s Bay. It was just gone ten when he drew up outside the surgery, which was attached to Becky’s parents’ home, and he frowned when he saw all the building work that had been taking place. He’d heard that the practice had been awarded health centre status and it was obvious that a lot of changes were being made.

He made his way to the back door and lifted his hand to knock when he heard voices coming from the garden. Turning, he peered over the hedge and felt his heart lift when he saw Becky. She was pushing Millie on a pint-sized swing attached to a bough of the old apple tree. She was wearing jeans and a white sweater, her honey-gold hair pulled up into a ponytail. She looked so young and so lovely that Ewan felt his senses swim. Eight years may have passed but he was still attracted to her. It was only when Millie let out a shriek of laughter that he pulled himself together.

‘It sounds as though you two are having fun,’ he called, adopting a deliberately upbeat tone. He wasn’t going to make the mistake of harking back to the past. Becky had chosen Steve and it had been the right decision for all of them. Maybe he would like to help her if he could but it was purely out of friendship. He wasn’t planning to get back with her, not that Becky would be interested even if he was.

‘Ewan!’

Ewan heard the dismay in her voice and grimaced. It was obvious that his arrival was less of a pleasant surprise than it could have been. He summoned a smile, not wanting her to suspect how much the idea stung. ‘I thought I’d pop in to see how you were doing. I’m having lunch with my parents so I was heading this way.’

‘Oh, I see.’

She dredged up a smile but it was such a poor effort that Ewan found himself wishing he hadn’t bothered. Even if there was something troubling her, why would she choose to tell him?

‘I should have phoned first.’ He shrugged dismissively. Although he wasn’t vain, most of the women he knew would have been more than happy to have him turn up on their doorsteps unannounced. ‘I’ve been working in Australia for too long. I’d forgotten how much more formal life is here in England. Sorry.’

‘It’s fine, really. I … erm … it’s nice to see you.’

Ewan’s teeth snapped together. Nice! Quite frankly, she couldn’t have said anything more guaranteed to offend him. The first prickle of anger ran through his veins and he smiled sardonically. ‘There’s no need to be polite, Becky. I can tell you’re not exactly overjoyed to see me. Not to worry, I’m not stopping. Enjoy your day.’

He headed back up the path, his temper hovering just below boiling point. So Becky wasn’t interested in seeing him; so what? It wasn’t going to make any difference to his life.

‘Ewan, wait!’

Ewan stopped reluctantly. He turned around, feeling his heart jolt when he saw her hurrying after him. She was carrying Millie in her arms and the picture they made was one he knew would stay with him for a long time to come. His pulse was racing when Becky came to a halt in front of him, the blood pounding through his veins in a way that made him feel both dizzy and yet wonderfully clear-headed.

This was what he wanted from life, he realised with sudden, startling clarity. He didn’t need riches to be happy or professional acclaim. He just wanted someone to love and their child, and he would have everything he could possibly desire. The only thing wrong with the scenario was that it was Becky who featured in it, Becky who had made it abundantly clear that she didn’t want anything to do with him!

Becky could feel herself trembling as she put Millie down. Even though she knew she was probably making a mistake, she couldn’t let Ewan leave like this. He had come with the express intention of checking she was all right and all she’d done was throw his kindness back in his face.

‘Don’t go,’ she said, her voice catching. ‘I know I wasn’t exactly welcoming, but please don’t leave like this.’

‘There’s no point my staying if you don’t want me here.’ His tone was cool and she shivered. Ewan sighed softly. ‘It’s all right, Becky. I understand, really I do.’

‘Do you?’ It was impossible to keep the anxiety out of her voice and he grimaced.

‘Yes. You’re worried in case I want to pick up where we left off.’ He didn’t give her chance to reply as he continued flatly. ‘Well, there’s no need. That’s all in the past and I just thought it would be good if we could be friends.’

‘Friends?’ she echoed uncertainly. Was he right? Was she worried in case he tried to resurrect their relationship, or was it more complicated than that?

‘Yes.’ He smiled. ‘I could be wrong, but I’ve a feeling you could do with a friend right now.’

Becky felt a surge of emotion well up inside her when she heard the sympathy in his voice. She swallowed hard, desperately trying to hold back her tears. Ewan obviously realised her predicament because he bent down and smiled at Millie.