Rocky Mountain Daddy

“Hey, guys, you’re kinda dirty,” she said, nose wrinkling at the muddy streaks on her formerly pristine white shirt.

“Yeah. Choc’late mud pies.” Francie grinned. “We gotta wash ’fore we c’n eat doughnuts,” she told Eli.

“It’s a rule,” Franklyn agreed.

Gabe had loved the twins from the moment Adele arrived with them over six months ago. He couldn’t have been happier when she’d married his boss, Mac McDowell, owner of the Double M, because it meant the cute pair now lived on the ranch. He loved kids, had always wanted some of his own, but Eve—don’t go there.

He had a son. Gabe couldn’t make that sink into his brain. Nor could he comprehend why Eve hadn’t told him, especially after she’d become ill.

“Come on.” Francie grabbed Eli’s hand. “Washup time. An’ don’t miss no dirt ’cause we can’t eat nothin’ till we get clean an’ the doughnuts are yummy.” She whirled to inspect the adults. “Uncle Gabe, you got dust on your cheek. You gotta wash, too.”

“Yup, you do,” Franklyn agreed. He grabbed Eli’s other hand and drew him alongside, discussing crash-up cars. Eli went along with a confused look on his face.

“Let’s do have some doughnuts,” Aunt Margaret said. She and her sister followed the kids inside. Only Gabe and Olivia remained.

“I figured you wouldn’t want to explain to them about Eli until you have everything sorted out,” she said quietly.

“Thanks.” He could feel her questions.

“I didn’t know you’d been married, Gabe.”

“At eighteen. For about three years.” Because she’d witnessed the debacle with Kathy, Gabe figured he owed Olivia at least a rudimentary explanation. “Eve was the new girl in town and I fell hard for her. My dad didn’t approve, though. We eloped, then she moved onto our ranch. I’d worked the ranch with Dad my whole life and I loved it, but Eve said it was boring and hated it. She started to cause problems—on the ranch and between Dad and me. I finally realized that when she looked at me, all she saw was a meal ticket.”

“I’m sorry,” she whispered.

“Me, too.” He pursed his lips. Best to get it said and then forget it. As if! “Eve wanted out, so Dad agreed to sell off part of our land to pay her off. She took the money and ran, but Dad’s treasure, our ranch, was decimated. We couldn’t ranch on so little land, though he fought hard to make it work. Six months later he died from a massive coronary. I had to sell the land at rock-bottom prices.”

“Oh, no.” Olivia sounded genuinely upset. “What did you do then?”

“Enlisted. Did two tours, but I hated it. I worked at Wranglers Ranch in Tucson for a while. Tried to rebuild my faith in God.” He heaved a sigh. “Then I got into equine-assisted learning. Eventually I came to the Double M and—” He shrugged. “That’s my story. My stupidity in marrying Eve cost me my dad and my home.”

“I’m so sorry. You never saw Eve again?”

“No. And I never wanted to,” he muttered, tension building in his head. “Until today,” he grated.

“You never fell in love again?” Olivia’s hand went up in the automatic way she had of smoothing her hair over her damaged cheek. Funny, but unless she drew attention to it, Gabe never even noticed her scar.

“No.” Even now, memories of that youthful over-the-top love and the gut-wrenching pain of knowing it wasn’t reciprocated burned inside. “Eve ended my dreams of love and family. I grew up fast and I gave up dreaming.” The words emerged sounding bitter. But then he had a right to be bitter, even more so now.

Why didn’t you tell me we have a son, Eve?

“And that’s enough for you?” she asked, a frown marring her beauty.

“I have a good job with horses, which I love. I live in a great community and I get to be part of The Haven’s ministry. Someday I’d like to have my own spread, but...” He shrugged. “Really, why do I need a house and land?”

“I’m sorry, Gabe.” Olivia’s softly voiced words offered comfort, but he wouldn’t take it.

“So am I. My stupidity in marrying Eve killed my dad. I’ll never forgive her for that.” Why had he told Olivia that? What good did it do? Out of the corner of his eye he saw Eli standing in the doorway. Surely the boy hadn’t overheard his snarky comment? “Let’s go enjoy those doughnuts,” he said with forced cheerfulness.

“Wait.” She stepped forward to rub the dust from his cheek. “Now the twins will allow you to eat doughnuts,” Olivia said with a grin.

Truth be told, Gabe wasn’t sure he could swallow anything right now. What he desperately wanted was to lose himself in the forest surrounding them and read the letter that burned a hole in his shirt pocket.

Later, he promised himself grimly. He’d read Eve’s paltry excuses for keeping his son a secret later.

Chapter Two

“Is Eli staying here?” Victoria asked Olivia later that afternoon.

Olivia sat on the deck beside her sister, basking in the warmth of the sun, shielded from any breeze by The Haven.

“Not that he isn’t welcome,” Victoria backtracked. “Everyone’s welcome at The Haven. But the aunties have some guests arriving tomorrow...”

“I don’t have any answers, Vic.” Olivia knew her sister’s frown meant she’d demand some explanation, so she relayed the events of Eli’s arrival.

“Gabe’s a daddy?” Victoria grinned. “Couldn’t happen to a nicer guy. He’s great with kids.”

“Well, he sure doesn’t seem to know what to do with Eli.” Olivia remembered the devastated look on the cowboy’s face when Eli hadn’t shaken his hand. Then she remembered Eli’s pitiful sob. “There’s something going on with that child, though I’m not sure what that is.”

Victoria’s adopted son, Mikey, was playing with Francie and Franklyn on the jungle gym equipment about six feet away. Eli stood apart, watching them.

“Probably after such a loss it will take him a while to feel his way. Most kids are like that.” Vic smiled at her daughter, Grace, who was learning to walk. “Don’t worry. Gabe will make him feel welcome. Meanwhile, your timing in coming home couldn’t be better.”

“Why?” There was a note in her sister’s voice that worried Olivia. “What’s going on, Vic?”

“The aunts’ lawyers and accountants are coming to check out everything at the end of the month, to make sure The Haven’s outreach program complies with all government rules.” Victoria winced. “The office is a mess, Livvie. It just isn’t my gift,” she defended herself when Olivia frowned. “I can never seem to get the paper under control. I’ve been late filing a couple of forms, too.” Her head drooped.

“I’ll take a look.” Olivia smiled at her sister’s relief. “Why didn’t you hire an assistant?”

“I did. She made things worse. Triple booked us at Easter. Forgot to mention she’d confirmed four military visitors were coming when we were already full. Can you say nightmare?” Victoria rolled her eyes.

“I’ll set up some better systems, see if that—Hey, where’s he going?”

“Who?” Victoria tracked her gaze. “Gabe? He has eyes like a hawk. Probably sees something down there. Maybe I’d better take a look.” She lifted Grace and stretched as if to hand her over, but Olivia didn’t move. She couldn’t take her niece because warning bells filled her head.

“Leave Gabe, Vic. Eli’s aunt gave him a letter from his ex. I’m guessing the poor guy needs a few moments to read it and figure out what’s what.” Olivia couldn’t stop herself from chucking the darling little girl under the chin. “Miss Grace looks like Ben.”

“Good. My husband is very handsome.” Vic frowned. “Still have your aversion to kids, huh, Liv?” she asked sympathetically.

“It’s not an aversion. How could anyone have an aversion to this sweetheart?” Heart aching, Olivia smiled at Grace and then sighed, knowing she wasn’t fooling Victoria. “It’s pure fear and you know it. I’m terrified to be responsible for any kid.”

“Because of what happened years ago when you babysat in those foster homes.” Victoria covered Olivia’s hand. “Sweetie, the kid that died in the fire—you were too young to be looking after anybody back then, and his death was an accident. The child that drowned—that didn’t happen because of anything you did, either.”

Vic had pried the truth of Olivia’s ugly past out of her when they were fourteen.

“But I was in charge—”

“The point is, you shouldn’t have been, Liv. The authorities even said so. You were a strong, competent and responsible kid, yes, but you weren’t the adult in that home. Those parents were wrong to blame you. They should have been watching their kid and you and the pool. It wasn’t fair to expect you to be in charge. The fire was an accident and it was not your fault.” Vic patted her shoulder.

“Maybe. But it doesn’t change anything inside my head, Vic. Caring for kids, being responsible for them still terrifies me.” Olivia rose, uneasy with those awful memories and unwilling to revisit them. “It’s just the way I am. Sorry.” She made a face at Grace, who only giggled.

“But to keep avoiding children means this fear robs you... Livvie, don’t you want to have your own children someday?”

“No!” Seeing that her sharp response had drawn frowns from the kids, Olivia smiled at them reassuringly before resuming her seat. She wasn’t going to tell Vic about Martin or that she’d given up on marriage because he’d pretended he wanted to marry her even though he was already married to and living with someone else. Betrayer. “I just want to start my new job, prove myself and earn the things I’ve never had.”

“Things are worth more than family?” Vic sounded disapproving.

“No, and it’s not a competition. It’s just—it’s best for me.” She shrugged, relieved to see Gabe emerge from the woods, though he wasn’t alone. “Looks like he found some stragglers,” she mused.

“Those two again.” Victoria stood, her lips pressed tight together. “That pair has caused more than enough problems today.”

“I doubt they’ve done anything as bad as what we did at that summer camp, before the aunties brought us here,” Olivia reminded. “We four girls terrorized everyone.”

“True. Think this is my payback?” With Grace in her arms, Victoria straightened her shoulders before striding forward to meet the threesome. She listened to what Gabe said, shook her head at the pair and ushered them to the meadow where they were supposed to be learning to rock climb with their group.

Olivia watched it play out, marveling at her sister’s ease in handling these troubled youth. Judging by the slump of their shoulders as they walked down the path with her, the two had been strongly chastised.

“Vic’s good at this job, isn’t she?” Olivia murmured, her gaze now focused on Gabe. His attention seemed riveted on his son.

“Vic’s like your aunts. A dragon lady lives under that big generous smile of hers.” Gabe glanced at her, then back to Eli. “Any trouble?”

“With Francie and Franklyn in charge?” She rolled her eyes. “Not yet, but there will be. Did you read your letter?”

“Didn’t get a chance before I found those two.”

“What are you going to do about Eli?” Olivia was curious to hear his plans.

“Ask the aunts if he can stay here, I guess.” He shrugged at her surprise. “I live in a bunkhouse, Olivia. There’s barely room to turn around let alone fit in a kid. It never mattered before, but—”

“It does now. You need to start looking for a home.” She could see the idea surprised him. “He’s a little boy, Gabe. He’s been pulled from the only place he knew. He needs his own home. With his father.”

“What kind of a home?” He shrugged at her confused look. “I’m clueless. I’ve been saving for my own spread for years, but—”

“Buy it,” she interrupted.

“Can’t. I’ve never found what I want. But even if I had, I have to consider...things.”

“Such as?” Why did she feel he was hesitating?

“Such as—it might be dangerous for a kid from the city to live on a ranch. Maybe a temporary place in town is better.” Gabe’s suddenly narrowed stare made Olivia uncomfortable. “You wouldn’t have time to help me look, would you?”

“Me?” Olivia blinked. “What do I know about finding a home for a little boy?”

“Probably more than me. It doesn’t have to be right away,” Gabe quickly added. “Eli could stay here for a while. Your aunts wouldn’t mind. In fact, it might be better if he settled in here.”

“No, it wouldn’t.” Olivia wasn’t sure why it felt so important to get Eli into a home of his own with his father. Maybe it was because she’d sensed an inner angst in the child. Or maybe it was because at Eli’s age she’d always longed to belong to someone. Or maybe it was Gabe himself.

Granted, she didn’t know him well, but she’d always thought him too easygoing, too laid-back, too prepared to wait for things instead of making them happen, like staying in a bunkhouse instead of getting the spread he obviously wanted.

Kathy had said Eli was almost six. Hadn’t father and son waited long enough?

“Why wouldn’t it be good for him to stay here long-term?” Gabe frowned at her.

“Because though he’s welcome, Eli’s a visitor here. Kids need a place where they feel secure. Being shunted around, not having a permanent parent in his life, nothing to call his own—that’s no way to start off your life together. That boy needs a home of his own, with you, his dad. Pronto.”

“Strong feelings much?” Gabe’s blue eyes twinkled. “So, you’re offering to help?”

She’d fallen right into that. Olivia sighed.

“Fine. I’ll help you look for a place to live, Gabe. But that’s all. I won’t help you decorate it or buy furniture for it or any of that stuff.” As if she had any clue as to how to make a house into a home for a cowboy and a kid. Organizing systems, creating efficiency, that was her specialty. Not helping somebody belong.

“Okay,” the big cowboy agreed easily. “I can always ask salesclerks about furniture.”

Oh, brother.

“This home is for you and Eli. You should make the decisions about it together. You do know I’m leaving soon, probably next week, but for sure no later than the end of June.”

“When do you want to start looking? Tomorrow?” And she’d thought Gabe laid-back. “I’m off in the afternoon.” He looked very eager now.

After her first glance at Eli, Olivia had wanted to help him. But she didn’t do kids. Fear of the past happening again, of being responsible and failing, kept her from interacting with her own nieces and nephews. What was so different about Eli that he made her feel he needed her?

Olivia exhaled. She had no idea why this child tugged at her heart. All she knew was that she had to do what she could. And the sooner she helped Eli, the sooner she’d feel okay about leaving The Haven to get on with building her future. Alone. As usual.

Helping Gabe had nothing to do with it.

“Tomorrow afternoon is good,” she agreed.

* * *

Gabe,

First, I apologize. I should have told you about Eli years ago. But you had your dad and your ranch. Eli was all I had. I guess I wanted to punish you for not making me stay with you, so I kept the two of you apart. That was stupid and selfish. All I did was cheat my son of knowing his father, someone he’s asked about since he first learned to speak. I cheated you of knowing him, too, and I’m so sorry. He’s a wonderful boy, Gabe. So curious, so generous. His heart is so tender. Now he’s hurting, worried that I’m dying, and he’ll be left all alone.

I wish I’d eaten my pride ages ago, but now it’s too late. I’m too ill to come and find you. I’m in hospice and there are days I can hardly lift my head. I can barely hug Eli, so I tell him that I love him and that one day you’ll come for him. I don’t know where you are, Gabe, but I pray that somehow God will bring you and our child together. God is my best friend now. You’re the one who first introduced us, remember? My favorite Bible verse is, “He hath made everything beautiful in His time.” God will do that with you and Eli, I know it. Forget about me and how I ruined things between us and concentrate on this wonderful little boy who needs your love so badly. He needs a dad, too, and I know you’ll be a great father. Love him, Gabe.

While I’ve been ill I had to let my sister care for Eli, but please don’t leave our son with Kathy. He has a tender soul and she’ll crush him, just as she did me at that age. Contact the lawyer on the card I’ve included. On my death you’ll receive permanent custody of Eli. I so wish I would have told you this in person, but since I can’t, this is from my heart. Please, I beg you, love our son. Even if you never forgive me, Gabe, love Eli. He desperately needs you.

Eve

Sitting on his bed in his bunkhouse that evening, Gabe reread Eve’s letter several times. Every time he did, the knot of bitterness inside him wound tighter. Simple for Eve to say she was sorry. She was gone. She didn’t have to face him; she’d never answer for what she’d done. But he’d lost almost six years of his son’s life, six years when he could have watched Eli learn to walk, to talk, call him Daddy, share baby kisses and birthdays.

Forget the past. Focus on Eli, his logical brain ordered. Probably good advice, but Gabe doubted he could ever forget or forgive Eve for what she’d done.

So now what?

Lips pursed, he folded Eve’s letter and slid it back into its envelope. He selected a new envelope and wrote Kathy’s address on it. He filled out a check, signed it and slid it inside. Then he added a note. Use this for whatever you need. A father should be responsible for his kid’s expenses. Better late than never. He sealed the envelope and set it on a shelf, ready to mail.

Eve’s letter went into a small bronze box with a lid that Gabe snapped shut before shoving it into a drawer. Though the letter was hidden from his sight, it felt vividly alive in his seething brain.

Head and heart aching, Gabe went outside and sank onto the step, peering into the half-lit sky. Summer nights in the mountains never really got dark. Sunset and sunrise would meet soon. What would tomorrow hold?

“I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord. Thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you an unexpected end.” That verse had been Gabe’s life’s motto for years.

You’ve known about all of this for a long time, Lord. But I’m stunned, he prayed silently. I’ve tried to follow You as best I can, but—a son? I never imagined—show me the best way to win his heart. Show me how to be Eli’s father, Lord.

Gabe prayed until there were no more words left. But nervous worry, concern that he’d mess up and perhaps hurt this little boy he didn’t even know, plus uncertainty about his suddenly shifting world, did not abate.

His pastor’s Sunday-morning sermons last winter had been all about trusting God. Gabe had been so certain he’d been doing that. But Eli’s appearance today had rocked his world and shaken his faith. Almost six years—why had Eve done it? But more importantly, why had God let her? How could he trust God now?

Because a sense of futility hung over him, Gabe shifted his thoughts toward practicalities. How would he know what kind of a place to get for Eli?

Olivia’s image flickered through his brain. She didn’t seem to hesitate when making decisions. Maybe he could lean on her, let her take the lead in this house-hunting business. After all, she’d grown up at The Haven, certainly the best home in the area. She’d know all the things a good home should have.

The knot inside Gabe eased. Yeah, he’d follow Olivia’s lead. Could it be that’s why God had brought her back at this particular time? To be a friend? To help him?

Startled by awareness that he was allowing a pretty woman he barely knew to become so involved in his personal life, in direct opposition to everything he’d resolved after Eve’s departure and in the years since, Gabe’s brain whirled. He’d take Olivia’s help, he decided, but he would not allow anything more than friendship between them, because though she was very attractive, romance wasn’t for him. Never again would he let himself be that vulnerable.

When he finally retired, sleep was elusive because Gabe knew that no matter how great Olivia was at organizing things, the fact remained that Eli was not a ranch kid. He’d even shied away from Spot and Dot, the Spenser sisters’ mild-tempered dogs. What would happen when the kid met a horse?

Horses were Gabe’s world.

Were. But now he had a son. With whom he had nothing in common.

* * *

“This could be doable.” The following day Gabe tilted back on his cowboy boot heels, surveyed the interior of the tiny rental house he’d been told about and gulped.

“You’re kidding, right?” Olivia bristled with indignation. “You and Eli would have no time to spend together because you’d be constantly repairing something.”

“It’s a rental, Olivia,” he muttered. “They’re supposed to look after all the maintenance.”

“Looks like they’re doing a bang-up job,” she muttered in disgust, flicking a finger against the peeling countertop, nudging a toe against a loose floorboard and obviously struggling not to inhale the overwhelming odor of too many cats. “Come on, Eli. Let’s get out of here,” she muttered, and headed out the door, stumbling on the faulty step.

Gabe steadied her before following to stand beside her in the long grass outside, next to Eli, who studied the tilted bilious green house with disapproval.

“That house stinks,” his son said, the first words he’d spoken since he’d climbed into Gabe’s truck after lunch.

“We’ll clean it out,” Gabe assured him, striving for a positive tone.

“Not without removing the carpets, curtains and wallpaper, which is what I like to call a gut job.” Obviously repelled, Olivia strode toward the truck. “Moving on.”

So they did move on. And again, several times. After the fourth house, Gabe began to lose hope in his wobbly dream of a home for his son. Olivia found problems with every single rental they viewed. Not that the problems weren’t there. They were, and Gabe knew it. But he had to find a place if he was going to keep Eli with him, if he was going to be a real father.

“Can we stop for coffee, please?” Olivia licked her lips. “I need a break.”

“Sure.” Gabe pulled up in front of the local diner, shoved the gearshift into Park and climbed out. He reached to help Eli, but the boy veered away from him and exited on Olivia’s side. It was one of several signs that Gabe interpreted to mean his son was upset with him, though he couldn’t figure out exactly why that should be.

Inside Olivia chose the best booth in the place, halfway between the entrance and the kitchen with a street view. It was like her to have automatically selected the best one, Gabe thought. She seemed to possess an inner ability that almost unconsciously prioritized every decision she made. Maybe it came from her years of working for the military.

He paused to admire her in the stream of sunshine. She looked lovely. Efficiently lovely, he corrected. Her navy slacks and coordinating navy-and-white sweater set were perfect for an afternoon of house hunting. Businesslike casual, Gabe would have termed it.

As usual, her hair covered the left side of her face to fall over the scar and tuck under her jaw. For a minute he wondered about that scar and how it had gotten there. Then her glossy dark hair recaptured his attention. On the other side of her face it entwined behind her ear revealing silver-hooped earrings, a perfect complement to the two thin silver chains around her slim neck. Her rust-brown boots looked like they’d be comfortable in whatever terrain they happened upon.

“Do you want milk to drink?” she asked Eli.

“Pop.” Eli didn’t seem to be requesting.

Olivia glanced at Gabe. He nodded at the server and waited until Olivia ordered coffee, then requested a cup for himself.

“And a large plate of fries, please,” he added.