The Son That Changed His Life

Unbidden, a face sprang to mind and her mouth thinned. There had never been any question of Ben sharing her life, as he had made clear. Although she may have viewed their affair as the start of something, Ben hadn’t seen it that way. One mention of a baby and he had run for the hills and she, for one, wasn’t going to try and change his mind. Benedict Legrange had had his chance to be a father and he wasn’t going to get a second one!

The sound of the phone ringing cut through her thoughts. Emily ran downstairs and snatched up the receiver before it could wake Theo. ‘Emily Jackson.’

‘Emily, it’s Tom. I’m sorry to bother you but search and rescue have just phoned. Mitch Johnson at The Ship has reported a couple of his guests are missing. Apparently, they told Mitch they were going for a walk along the coastal path this morning and would be back around three but they haven’t appeared. Search and rescue are sending a team out to look for them.’

‘What do you want me to do?’ Emily asked immediately.

‘We were wondering if we could use your house as our base. There’s no reception for mobile phones once you’re on the path and we may need access to a phone,’ Tom explained.

‘Of course. I’m happy to help any way I can.’

They sorted out the arrangements before she hung up. Emily hurried into the kitchen and filled the kettle. Although it was a warm night, she knew the men would welcome a cup of tea before they set off. The vehicles arrived ten minutes later, two four-by-fours carrying both the team and their equipment. Emily went outside to meet them, standing aside while Tom climbed out of the back of the lead vehicle.

‘I see you got drafted in to help,’ she said, smiling at him.

‘We both did.’ Tom stepped aside and she felt her stomach lurch when she saw the man who had got out of the car behind him. ‘You remember Ben, don’t you? He offered to come along and help.’

‘I… erm… yes, of course,’ she replied numbly.

‘Emily.’

Ben nodded politely although she was aware that he didn’t claim that it was good to see her. Why should he, she thought bitterly as she went back inside to make the tea. She must be the last person Ben wanted to see… Correction: she and Theo must be the last people he wanted to see, so why should he pretend anything different? Ben had made it abundantly clear that he wasn’t interested in sparing her feelings the last time they’d met!

The thought was just what she needed to get back on track. Emily made the tea and loaded the mugs onto a tray. The men were working out a route when she took the drinks outside and they let out a resounding cheer when they saw what she had brought for them. Alan Parker, the leader of the team, put his arm round her shoulders and gave her a squeeze.

‘Atta girl! If I wasn’t happily married then I’d propose to you. There’s nothing like a woman who knows how to treat a man right!’

Emily laughed as she put the tray on the bonnet of the Land Rover. ‘Good job I didn’t fetch out the cake as well or who knows what could have happened.’

Everyone laughed, everyone apart from Ben, that was. Emily felt a shiver run through her when she saw the contemptuous look he gave her. His dark brown eyes were filled with scorn, his beautiful mouth curling at the corners with disdain. She didn’t need to ask him what was wrong when it was perfectly clear. Ben thought that she was deliberately currying favour with the men, trying to charm them for some reasons of her own. The thought was like a red rag to the proverbial bull. She didn’t pause to think as she rounded on him.

‘Obviously, you’re not susceptible to my offer of tea and cake, Dr Legrange?’

‘No.’ He gave a very Gallic shrug. ‘I am not easily influenced, Miss Jackson.’

‘Really?’ Emily could hear the challenge in her voice although she knew that she should let the matter drop. However, she’d spent best part of the day worrying about Ben and she was in no mood to compromise. ‘That does surprise me.’

‘Oui? Why is that?’ His tone had deepened, sounding richer, darker and ever so slightly threatening, and Emily felt a little thrill run through her because she had managed to get under his skin.

‘Oh, just that I find most men are susceptible to a woman’s wiles—if she knows what she’s doing, of course.’

She smiled sweetly when everyone laughed. It was obvious that the others thought she was teasing but she and Ben knew the truth. Ben might not have wanted her in his life, long term, but for a short time at least he’d wanted her. He’d wanted her in his bed, in his arms, and wanted her with a raw, unbridled passion too. He could deny it all he liked but they both knew the truth: when they’d made love, Ben had never thought about anyone else but her.

Ben made his way from the group. Tom was talking to Alan Parker, working out the best route to take, and didn’t notice him leaving. Although he knew that he should offer whatever help he could, it was beyond him at that moment. All he could think about was Emily lying in his arms, her face flushed with passion, her body naked to his gaze. Her eyes were half closed, her lips parted, her light brown hair tumbling around her face….

‘Merde!’ The oath tore from his lips before he could stop it and his hands clenched. He wasn’t used to losing control but that was how he felt—raw and aching and out of control. It would take very little to give in to the anger that was simmering inside him and that was the last thing he could afford to do.

He wouldn’t allow her to get under his skin, wouldn’t let her hurt him any more than she had done already. She was a liar and a cheat. She had tried to dupe him into accepting her child as his own. She’d probably slept with him, in fact, for that very purpose. The thought should have been enough to stop him feeling anything but contempt for her yet it didn’t. Even now, even knowing what she was capable of, he still wanted her!

‘Right, we’re all sorted. You and I are going to check out one of the side paths.’

Tom came over to him and Ben hurriedly smoothed his features into something resembling a normal expression. ‘Bon. Do we need to take anything with us—ropes, medical equipment, things like that?’

‘Everything we need’s in here.’ Tom showed him one of the backpacks the team carried. ‘It’s just basics—torch, whistle, saline, dressings, etcetera. If we do come across the missing couple then we’ll contact the rest of the party and go from there.’

He held up a shortwave radio receiver and Ben nodded. ‘You said that our phones won’t work in this area.’

‘No. Reception is patchy throughout this part of Devon. There are plans to build a new transmitter but who knows when it will happen? We’ll have to rely on the radio or come back here to Emily’s if that’s a viable alternative,’ Tom explained. ‘It’s lucky she lives here, isn’t it?’

‘Hmm.’ Ben smiled but he could feel his insides churning again as he glanced towards the cottage. Emily was collecting up the dirty mugs. She bent down to pick up one that had been left on the ground and he felt his breath catch when he was treated to a glimpse of her shapely derrière clad in well-washed denim. He turned away, not wanting to test out his new-found determination to ignore her.

‘There isn’t a problem with you and Emily, is there?’ Tom swung the backpack over his shoulder as he led the way to the footpath.

‘A problem?’ Ben reiterated to give himself time to think. Although Tom was his closest friend, he had never confided in him about what had gone on and had no intention of doing so. Quite frankly, he wouldn’t want anyone to know what a fool he’d been.

‘Hmm. I couldn’t help noticing a certain vibe between you two just now.’ Tom glanced at him as he cleared the stile. ‘Tell me to mind my own business, but did something happen between you and Emily when you stayed here the last time?’

‘Nothing of any importance,’ Ben said lightly. He glanced along the path. ‘Is it straight ahead or do we need to turn off?’

‘Straight ahead.’

Tom took the hint and didn’t say anything else. However, it was worrying to know that his friend had picked up on the atmosphere between him and Emily. As they made their way along the path, Ben promised himself that it would be the first and the last time he made that mistake. From now on he would treat Emily as she deserved to be treated, as someone who didn’t feature in his life.

It was just gone ten when the sound of footsteps outside woke Emily. She sat up, groaning when she felt the crick in her neck. Falling asleep on the sofa definitely wasn’t a good idea but she’d been loath to go to bed in case she was needed. Now she hurried to the door and flung it open, gasping when she saw Ben helping a middle-aged woman up the path.

‘This is Louise. Can she wait here until the rest of the group catches up with us?’ he asked briefly.

‘Of course!’ Emily hurried forward and put her arm around the woman’s waist. She flinched when her hand encountered Ben’s but there was no way she could remove it when the poor woman needed her support. They helped her inside and got her settled on the sofa. Ben stepped back as soon as Louise was comfortable, his face impassive, but Emily could tell from the tightening of his jaw that he’d enjoyed the contact no more than she had done.

The thought was strangely upsetting. Emily turned away, reluctant to let him see how she felt. ‘I’ll fetch a blanket. She feels cold despite the fact it’s warm outside.’

‘Shock,’ Ben replied succinctly, crouching down in front of the woman. He gently chafed her hands. ‘Her husband fell down the bank of a stream and injured his leg. She was unable to get him out.’

‘How is he?’ Emily asked, sotto voce, and he shook his head.

‘Not too good.’

Emily didn’t ask anything else, not wanting to add to the poor woman’s distress. Ben asked if he could use the phone to call search and rescue headquarters so she showed him where it was then ran upstairs to fetch a blanket. He was still on the phone when she went back down so she took the blanket through to the sitting room and draped it over Louise then smiled at her. ‘I’m going to make you a cup of tea. It will help to warm you up.’

Louise didn’t respond. Her face was completely blank as she stared straight ahead. Emily frowned as she headed to the kitchen. Ben had finished his call and she beckoned him over, waiting until they were out of earshot before speaking. ‘Has she said anything to you?’

‘No. She’s not said a word since we found her.’ He sighed as he rested his lean frame against the worktop. ‘It was sheer luck that we came across them. Tom just happened to glance down the banking and spotted Louise’s red jumper. She was just sitting there, not shouting or anything, just cradling her husband’s head in her lap.’

‘The poor soul!’ Emily exclaimed. ‘She must have been terrified.’

‘Oui. To see the one you love in trouble and not be able to help them…!’

Once again he gave that very Gallic shrug and Emily looked away. It was one of the things she remembered most, the way he punctuated his conversation with various gestures. Although Ben’s English was faultless thanks to his having an English mother, his French heritage from his father was still very apparent and had always been a huge part of his charm. That along with so many other things, of course.

She closed her mind to that stupid thought as she made the tea. She filled a mug, adding both milk and sugar. Ben smiled faintly as he watched her.

‘Ah, the British answer to all life’s ills—hot sweet tea.’

‘It’s very reviving,’ she countered.

‘Oh, it is. I learned that for myself when I first came here. Ros would make me a cup of tea and all of a sudden everything seemed that bit brighter.’

‘Sadly it can’t cure everything. There are some problems that can’t be solved by a cup of tea.’ She hadn’t meant to say that, certainly hadn’t intended to allude to their problem, his refusal to acknowledge their child, and bit her lip. Ben’s expression darkened as he stared at her with undisguised contempt.

‘Some problems are too huge to be resolved. It needs trust and honesty to sort out important issues. When they are absent, there is never a way forward.’

He went back to the sitting room, leaving her to stew that over. Emily ground her teeth, hating the fact that he had the gall to make out that she was lacking in honesty. Picking up the mug, she hurried after him, hating him with every fibre of her being. Ben had been so afraid of facing up to his responsibilities that he had chosen to deny his own child. There couldn’t be anything more dishonest than that!

CHAPTER THREE

TOM arrived about twenty minutes later. Emily hurried to the door when she heard his footsteps coming up the path. The rest of the team were assembling by the cars while Alan supervised the loading of the stretcher into one of the vehicles.

‘How is he?’ Emily asked, ushering Tom inside.

‘Not too good.’ He glanced into the sitting room and sighed. ‘Severe hypothermia from being half-submerged in the stream for several hours, plus a badly fractured femur. Good job Ben spoke to HQ. They’ve arranged for the helicopter to meet us in town and do the transfer.’

Emily nodded, not needing to labour the point. Speed was of the essence and the poor man was already at a disadvantage after being missing for so long. She led the way into the sitting room, avoiding Ben’s eyes as she went over to Louise. She’d let Tom fill him in. The less she had to say to him the better.

‘Louise, your husband is going to be flown to hospital in the emergency helicopter,’ she explained gently, sitting down beside her. ‘There isn’t room for you, I’m afraid, but someone will take you there so you can be with him.’

‘Alan’s going to take her,’ Tom put in, dropping wearily into an armchair.

‘Oh, that’s good.’ Emily smiled at the woman but still failed to get a response. Louise continued to sit there. She hadn’t attempted to drink her tea despite Emily’s urgings and Emily was beginning to feel really concerned.

‘Louise seems to be very shocked,’ she said, glancing at Tom. ‘She hasn’t said a word since she got here.’

Tom frowned. ‘She didn’t say anything when we found her, either.’ He turned to Ben. ‘Do you think this is a normal reaction?’

‘It’s difficult to say. Everyone reacts differently to stress,’ Ben replied. He got up and came over to the sofa and Emily hurriedly moved aside as he crouched down in front of the woman. ‘Do you understand what we are saying, Louise? Your husband is alive and he’s being taken to hospital.’

Louise looked at him with hollow eyes. ‘Are you sure? Sure that Dennis is alive? Only the last time it happened, they were wrong, you see.’

Emily frowned. ‘The last time? You mean this has happened before?’

‘Not to Dennis, no. But to my first husband…’ Louise broke off. She gave a little sob then managed to collect herself. ‘Frank and I were out shopping one day when he had a heart attack. The paramedics told me that he was all right but he wasn’t. I don’t think they meant to lie, really, they just didn’t realise…’

Louise couldn’t go on as tears overwhelmed her. Emily patted her hand, trying to hide her dismay. No wonder the poor woman was so distressed. To have it happen once would have been bad enough but to have something similar occur a second time must be horrendous.

‘It isn’t the same this time,’ Ben said gently and Emily shivered when she heard the compassion in his voice. Nobody hearing it could doubt that he wanted to help and she suddenly wished with all her heart that she’d received this kind of consideration when she had told him about Theo. It was hard not to let her emotions get the better of her as he continued in the same caring tone.

‘Your husband is alive and he will be treated at the hospital. Yes, he is very sick, but he’s alive, Louise, and everything possible will be done to keep him that way.’

Louise took a shuddering breath then stumbled to her feet. ‘I want to see him.’

‘I’ll take you,’ Tom offered immediately, standing up. He led her to the door, leaving Emily alone with Ben. He stood up as well, making it clear that he had no intention of lingering. Why should he, Emily thought bitterly as she followed him out. There was nothing here to interest him, after all.

‘Mummy!’

A pitiful wail from the top of the stairs brought her spinning round and her heart sank when she saw Theo standing there. He had Raffie, his favourite toy giraffe clutched in one hand, and his comfort blanket in the other. Obviously all the comings and goings had woken him up.

‘It’s all right, darling,’ she said, running up the stairs and picking him up. She cuddled him close, feeling the tremor that passed through his sturdy little body. The cottage was quite secluded and he wasn’t used to hearing a lot of strange noises during the night.

She carried him downstairs, knowing it was pointless taking him back to bed. Theo needed a little reassurance and there was no one better for that than his mummy. She reached the last tread and stopped, only then realising that Ben was still standing where she’d left him. She’d expected him to beat a hasty retreat as soon as he’d heard Theo but, oddly enough, he was still there.

She glanced at him and felt her blood freeze when she saw the expression on his face. Shock, disbelief, amazement were all etched there clear to see. For a moment Emily couldn’t understand what was going on and then it struck her in a blinding flash what had happened. Ben had finally been forced to acknowledge the truth. Now that he’d seen Theo, he could no longer claim he wasn’t the child’s father. The resemblance which had been so apparent to her from the moment her son had been born couldn’t be denied, although no doubt once Ben recovered his composure, he would do so. Tipping back her head, she looked him straight in the eyes.

‘This is my son, Theo.’

Ben felt as though his body had turned to jelly. His legs were shaking and his insides were trembling as he stared at the little boy clinging hold of Emily’s neck. The resemblance was unmistakable. He had two nephews and this child—Theo?—looked so like them that it was staggering. Had he been wrong? Was it possible that he had fathered this child after all?

‘Right, that’s settled. Alan’s taking Louise with him…’ Tom came back into the cottage. He stopped when he realised that he was interrupting something. He glanced uncertainly from Emily and Theo to Ben then did a double take, and Ben knew—he just knew!—that Tom had seen it too, seen the resemblance between him and Emily’s son.

It was all too much to take in and far too much to deal with. Swinging round, Ben strode out of the door, hearing Emily’s murmured response when Tom said something to her before he quickly followed him. He got into the back of the second Land Rover, cramming himself into the corner as Tom got in beside him. The rest of the team had divided themselves between the vehicles as best they could with the stretcher taking up so much room. It was a squeeze to fit everyone in but he didn’t care. At least Tom couldn’t ask him any awkward questions, awkward because he had no idea what the answers were. Had he been mistaken, had he seen something in the child that wasn’t there? Maybe he could have convinced himself if his friend hadn’t seen it too!

The drive back to town was completed in silence, at least on their behalf. The rest of the group was buoyed up by the fact that they’d found the missing couple. They tried to persuade him and Tom to join them for a celebratory pint at The Ship but Ben refused. He needed to be on his own, needed to sort out how he felt and after that, more importantly, he needed to work out what he was going to do. If the child was his then his whole life was about to change.

‘How about a nightcap?’ Tom let them in, closing the door quietly so as not to disturb Hannah and Charlie who were asleep upstairs. ‘You look as though you could do with one, if you don’t mind me saying so.’

‘Feel free.’ Ben sighed as he followed Tom into the sitting room. Maybe he would prefer to be alone but he could hardly refuse to talk to Tom. Slumping down in a chair, he looked at his friend with sardonic amusement. ‘It’s been an eventful night, one way and another.’

‘It has indeed.’ Tom handed him a glass of single malt then sat down. ‘Am I right in thinking that tonight turned out to be rather a shock for you?’

‘Yes.’ Ben took a sip of the fiery liquid and let it trickle down his throat.

‘So you had no idea about Theo?’

‘Yes and no.’ Another sip of whisky followed the first and the fire reached his belly. He had a son, a child of his own, something he had never dared hope he would have. Shock slowly started to turn to something more, the first glimmer of a far more positive emotion, but he battened it down. He didn’t want to get ahead of himself, didn’t want to believe the evidence of his eyes with nothing to back it up.

‘Yes and no? I don’t understand. Either you knew that Theo was yours or you didn’t. Which is it?’

‘Emily told me she was expecting my child but I didn’t believe her.’ The words sounded so bald that the burgeoning feeling of euphoria disappeared. They obviously had a detrimental effect on Tom too because his tone sharpened.

‘Why the hell not? Emily’s not the sort of woman who’d string a guy along. Anyone who knows her will tell you that.’

Ben grimaced, aware that he had sunk more than a little in his friend’s estimation. ‘I didn’t believe her because I thought I was incapable of fathering a child.’

‘Really? How come?’

Tom’s tone was less abrasive and Ben sighed. Although he rarely talked about what had happened this was one time when he needed to open up.

‘I had Hodgkin’s lymphoma when I was in my twenties.’ He shrugged. ‘I had chemotherapy and I was told that it was unlikely I would be able to father a child because of the combination of drugs I’d received. A subsequent fertility test seemingly proved that.’

‘I had no idea!’ Tom exclaimed.

Ben smiled wryly. ‘It’s not something I talk about normally.’

‘No. I can understand that.’ Tom frowned. ‘So, what you’re saying is that you’ve always believed you were infertile?’

Ben nodded. ‘Yes. When Emily came to see me in Paris, I simply assumed she was lying and that the child wasn’t mine.’

‘But surely you knew her well enough to know that she wouldn’t do something like that?’ Tom protested.

‘Maybe I should have done. However, when you have always believed what you’ve been told, it’s difficult to accept that someone is telling you something very different.’ Ben summoned a smile, trying not to let his friend see how awful he felt. He had been so cruel to Emily that day, turned her away with harsh words instead of offering her the support she’d deserved. He couldn’t bear to think how she must have suffered.

‘I suppose so.’

Tom sounded dubious and Ben realised that his friend still considered him to be at fault in some way. The fact that he felt he was too didn’t make him feel any better. They both drank a little more whisky before Tom spoke again and there was a definite challenge in his voice.

‘So what are you going to do? Are you going to try and sort out this mess or are you planning on leaving the situation as it is?’

‘Obviously, it needs sorting out. If I’m Theo’s father then there is no way that I intend to turn my back on him. I want to be involved in his life.’

‘If Emily will let you.’

‘Oui. If Emily will let me,’ Ben agreed flatly. ‘I would not blame her if she refused. When I recall what I said to her that day…’ He broke off and shrugged.

Tom shook his head. ‘It seems to me that you’ve a lot of ground to make up. If I can help in any way then just ask. However, I have a feeling that only you can work this out, you and Emily, that is.’ Tom downed the rest of his drink and stood up. He patted Ben on the shoulder as he passed. ‘Why don’t you sleep on it? Most problems appear better after a night’s rest, I find.’