Come Alive

‘We’re not a threesome. Dani and Luthor aren’t fucking. Nor have I embroiled her in anything. She was the one who insisted on Luthor and me making out.’

‘You’re fucking them both, Xane, or you will be as soon as our new drummer puts in an appearance, and don’t pretend you haven’t been fantasising about taking them both to bed. I know you. I know how your mind works, especially when it’s your cock doing the thinking. But you need to get your head in the game, because you can’t screw this up. We need Luthor to stick around or this band is going to dissolve around our ears. Black Halo can’t take another drama. We’re barely holding together as it is.’

The last few months had been rough, starting with Elspeth and Steve’s shock marriage, followed by Steve’s untimely death and then all the unpleasantness with Iain. Yet somehow they’d weathered all that, and things had to get better from this point on … had to.

There wouldn’t be any more drama. Especially not where they were heading.

‘Do you think the others are going to show?’ Spook asked.

‘Why wouldn’t they?’

His friend shot him a side-eye.

‘They’ll be here,’ Xane said decisively. The bastards had better be, or he was going to chop them into itty little bits.

Spook rubbed the non-existent fuzz upon his jaw. ‘Well, Ash will be. He and Ginny are flying in by helicopter later today.’

‘Troels said he’d seen Rock Giant.’

‘Then I guess things look promising.’ They strolled on a little further, finally coming to a halt beside the Valkyrie, a white and blue speedboat with a sleek wood and leather interior. ‘This is us. You may as well hop on board.’

‘I’ll go back and get the bags.’ He turned to find Dani already heading towards him alongside Cave Troll, who was carrying their luggage. Having ascertained his help wasn’t required, Xane climbed into the belly of the boat alongside Spook, who started checking various dials. ‘Haven’t you been home?’ Xane asked.

‘No, I decided to stick around in Karlstad and make sure things were fine for Ash.’

‘But someone has filled the fridge, right?’

‘I have a housekeeper. I’m sure she’s stocked up on everything you could possibly want, including what anyone else would consider a year’s supply of prophylactics.’

Xane hooked his arm around Spook’s neck and planted a kiss upon his cheek. ‘That’s sweet of you to have added condoms to the shopping list.’

Spook recoiled from the contact. ‘Yeah, well, you might not consider me so sweet when I ban shagging on my property. Get the fuck off me, Xane.’

‘Bastard. You wouldn’t.’

Spook bent over, laughing. ‘Totally might if your inability to keep it in your pants starts impacting the group harmony. God, your face! Poor little Xane. Can’t contemplate going more than a few hours without sex or his knob might fall off.’

Xane stuck out his tongue. ‘Shagging is good for the soul.’

‘Not having to deal with your relationship shit is good for mine. Have to question my own sanity agreeing to hole up on a tiny strip of land in the middle of a lake with you, your two current lovers and your ex.’

‘No less sensible than riding on a tour bus with me for the last God knows how many years.’

‘Yeah, that’s true.’

Xane jabbed him in the ribs with his elbow. ‘Lighten up, will you? We’re going to relax, recuperate and emerge in a month or so with a score of new tracks and all our heads screwed on the right way.’

The misgivings swimming in Spook’s pale eyes remained. ‘That’ll be novel. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you with your head on right.’

‘Nah, mostly it’s halfway up his arse,’ a voice boomed from several feet away.

‘Paul.’

‘Rock Giant, my man.’ Xane greeted him by sticking out his hand, but the other man simply knocked it aside, locked him in a hug and thumped him across the back with enough force to leave Xane spluttering.

‘What happened to you? You look as if you’ve been dip-dyed,’ Spook asked the newcomer, squinting at the medley of green and purple tie-dye – and that was just his hair.

Rock Giant ignored the question and threw his oversized duffel bag into a corner of the boat. ‘Is this it? Where is everyone?’

‘Ash and Ginny are coming later. They’re sneaking him out of the hospital. Dani’s right here.’ Spook nodded at her as she boarded, and Cave Troll passed her the suitcases. ‘So we’re just waiting on Elspeth and Luthor.’

‘Yeah.’ Rock Giant stroked a hand through the multi-coloured strands of his hair. ‘Elspeth’s not coming. That is, she’s not coming yet. I’m sure she’ll be here in time for your party. Yep, definitely, she will be.’ He nodded at Xane.

‘What the fuck do you mean, she’s not coming? We’re supposed to be getting together to work.’

On a personal level, Xane didn’t actually give a shit whether Queen Elspeth turned up. The rift she’d opened when she’d run off and married his best friend had barely scabbed over. It’d be a long time before he forgave her for all the shit that one act of utter selfishness had caused, but on a professional level they needed her here. The purpose of meeting up and descending on Spook’s place wasn’t to chill out, eat birthday cake and have fun – though they would do some of that – but so they could start getting their shit together for the next album, and make decent use of the time they had on their hands because of the postponement of their Requiem for the Damned tour.

‘I mean she’s not coming. She sent me a text about an hour ago. See …’ He held up his mobile phone so that Xane could see the message.

E: NOT COMING. Will try to make it for the party.

‘That’s it? No friggin’ explanation?’

‘Maybe she just needs to be away from you.’ Rock Giant slipped the phone back into a pocket. ‘So, moving on to the two big questions; how long do we wait for the new guy, and who gets to drive this beauty?’

Spook made an immediate dive towards the steering wheel. ‘Oh, no, you’re not driving.’

‘Aw, come on. That’s not fair. You know I love driving, and this is … this is a speedboat.’ The way he extended ‘speed’ into the sound of a buzzing engine raised a host of smiles, but every one of them shook their heads at the same time, Spook the most emphatically.

‘You big pussies. You bunch of lame-arsed pansies. What happened to living dangerously and enjoying some good old-fashioned rock ’n’ roll madness?’

‘It’s a lake. It’s cold, and none of us fancy a swim at the moment.’ Spook held on tight to the steering wheel as Rock Giant attempted to bodyslam him out of the way, leading the rest of them to scramble for secure footing and something to cling to. Dani wrapped herself tightly around Xane. ‘I’ve heard about his driving.’

‘Don’t worry. He’s not driving.’

Spook seemed adamant about that fact too. ‘The members of this band have sustained enough bumps, injuries and emotional scars over the last few months without enduring a white-knuckle ride because you’re at the wheel.’

‘An invigorating shake-up is exactly what we need.’

‘Fucking don’t.’

‘Fucking do.’

‘And you’re licenced to drive this baby, are you?’ Spook waved some Swedish documentation in Paul’s face. Maybe it was some kind of licence or basic training requirement, Xane wasn’t sure. Spook was the only one of them who could read the language.

‘What is that?’

Spook neatly avoided Paul’s grab for it, dipping beneath his arm, nimble as a goddamned elf.

‘It’s the local pizza menu, isn’t it, or the life-jacket instructions.’

‘It’s the bit of paper that says you need to get your butt away from the helm, and take a seat. I’ll be driving, and if you don’t like that fact, tough shit, buy your own boat.’

‘Bastard white walker … fucking troll … bastard fucking white-walking troll,’ Paul muttered to himself, though he did park his backside in one of the leather seats as instructed.

Xane fell into the seat beside him, with Dani still tucked under his arm. ‘How was the folk festival?’ he asked in a bid to distract Rock Giant from his mulish tirade.

Paul continued to glare balefully at Spook’s back.

‘Rain constantly?’

‘Nah, baking. How’d you think I got so crispy fried?’ He showed off one of his fore-arms, the skin a deep nut-brown. ‘I looked like a goddamned lobster after the first six hours, and yes, I “slip, slop, slapped” with factor a zillion. It was Elspeth’s stuff, it’s like white paste. You know what she’s like about maintaining her complexion and staying out of the sun.’

‘So she did the festival with you?’

‘No.’ Finally Rock Giant stopped glaring at Spook. ‘She bailed on me pretty quickly and said she was going to book herself into a spa. I hung with my folks during and after the festival, so I haven’t seen or heard from her beyond a couple of texts.’

‘Paul, we need to know if she’s about to walk.’

Rock Giant defensively crossed his arms. ‘I don’t know that she is. I just know that she’s still taking Steve’s death particularly hard. You need to cut her some slack, Xane. She was deeply in love, and now the guy’s gone. It’s not easy being around you, knowing what you shared and what she sacrificed, and having to watch you getting sappy with not one but two new lovers, when she doesn’t have anyone.’

‘What, so I’m supposed to pretend I’m miserable, so that she doesn’t have to feel so alone?’

‘I didn’t say that. Just give her some space. It’s not like we’re going to accomplish masses between now and your birthday. You know she’ll be here for that.’

‘Do I?’

‘Yes. You know it, because despite what you want to believe, she does care about you. She cares about every member of this band.’

‘She was really upset over Ash’s collapse and you nearly dying,’ Dani added, surprising him. His current girlfriend and his ex didn’t exactly get along.

‘Hm. Maybe.’ It didn’t mean he couldn’t be pissed over the fact she hadn’t shown up. Actually, maybe he was more peeved over Luthor’s absence and the lack of communication he’d received on that front. He and Dani had enjoyed themselves the last few weeks, being tourists between visits to Ash and Skype calls to Dani’s father, but he’d be lying if his dreams hadn’t sometimes been filled with visions of Luthor and the fun things he’d like to do to him.

‘Your boy’s here,’ Cave Troll announced from the jetty. ‘Car’s just pulled up. So I’m going to head off.’

‘Aren’t you coming with us?’ Dani asked.

‘Nope. You don’t need roadies to sit in a studio, and someone has to drive the bus home.’

‘But won’t that take weeks?’

‘A couple of days, tops. It’s not as if I need to make as many pit stops without you lot on board demanding food and wee breaks, and it’s just straight across to Gothenburg and then onto the ferry. That’s the worst bit of it. I’m not overly fond of the North Sea, and this time of year it’ll be packed with tourists and scout groups.’

‘He pukes,’ Paul leaned over Xane’s lap to inform her. ‘Major vomit stench everywhere. Why do you think we came by way of the Chunnel?’

‘Catch you later, mate,’ Xane said. They all waved him off. Luthor passed him on the quayside. His blond hair was ruffled and had blown over his face, masking his eyes, but his mouth was set in a line of grim determination. Xane inhaled the sight of him like a spliff. Pleasure centres across his body sparked into life. Luthor still looked more like a rock climber than a rocker, but the T-shirt, shorts, woolly hat and laced leather boots thing was totally doing it for him right now. He shifted uncomfortably as Dani squeezed his thigh, aware that he was sporting a stiffy that wasn’t for her.

‘Sorry I’m late.’ Luthor threw a backwards glance over his shoulder. ‘I got accosted.’

That had them all twisting to look back across the carpark. Xane expected to see a pack of obsessive fans charging towards them, but was instead greeted by the stern if bosomy vision of Sally Kettering click-clacking towards them on five-inch heels, with a pair of black-suited, shade-wearing Bond wannabes in tow.

He stood. ‘Why’s Sally here?’

‘She’s not happy with the arrangements. Doesn’t think it’ll be safe having us all in the same place without some protection. She’s had Bill and Ted there parked outside the recording studio for the last week while I was drumming for my old crew, and I’ve heard she drafted in a whole troop of them to guard Ash at the hospital.’

‘The hospital has been besieged by fans,’ Spook piped up. ‘They were keeping the peace, but no one knows we’re here outside the members of the band. We don’t need babysitters. Damned interfering woman.’

Xane and Luthor faced one another, and exchanged an awkward handshake.

‘You’d best tell her that,’ Luthor said.

‘Tell me what?’ Sally leered down at them all nestled in the boat.

‘That they’re not setting foot on my property,’ Spook responded, surprising them all. ‘I told you that over the phone. I don’t appreciate you pushing the point.’

Sally fixed on a nervous grin. ‘I thought that ought to be a whole-group decision. You need protecting – just think over a few of the things that have gone wrong recently.’

‘Such as?’ Xane asked.

‘You’re kidding me, right?’ Sally’s heavily pencilled eyebrows arched impressively. ‘You were half-murdered three weeks ago. Ash is still receiving medical treatment, Luthor nearly had his skull caved in and that’s before I get started on the numerous other skirmishes and incidents. Disaster strikes wherever you lot set foot.’

‘Nearly all of that was down to Iain. I’m assuming he’s still under lock and key, so there’s no need for them.’ Xane nodded at the two men who were standing at ease beside her. Obviously ex-military. They looked far too comfortable posed like that.

‘They’re not coming,’ Spook insisted. He started up the boat’s engine.

‘Nothing grim has happened to me recently,’ Rock Giant remarked, ‘and I’ve spent the last few weeks camping in a field with a thousand or so strangers.’

Sally speared him with a withering look that failed to make any impression. Rock Giant had perfected the art of ignoring her, right after they’d hired Sally as their publicist and general worker bee.

He stretched out his long legs. ‘I suppose I could tolerate it if Xane and Ash need sitters though.’

‘We don’t.’ Xane drummed his fist into Rock Giant’s thigh.

‘Would this be a good time to remind you that, if there’d been someone with Steve when he got injured, he’d probably still be in this world rather than the next?’

The reminder of Steve’s death, alone in a hotel room, quieted them all.

‘There’s Ash’s welfare to consider too. While the hospital have agreed to discharge him, it’d be stupid to think he’s fit and healthy. What happens if there’s a problem? Are any of you medically trained? Do you even know how to dress a wound or administer an aspirin?’

‘Happens I do,’ Rock Giant muttered, but no one paid him any attention.

‘Ginny will be watching over Ash like a hawk,’ Spook said.

‘Still, a few extra hands might not go amiss.’

‘They’re not coming.’

Sally gave an exasperated sigh and raised her hands. ‘I get it, all right.’ She made eye contact with each of them in turn. ‘You want some downtime, you don’t want constant reminders of the outside world and you need to regroup and bond again.’ She linked her fingers to emphasise the point. ‘But having a couple of guys looking out for you isn’t going to get in the way of that. You don’t need to socialise. They’re just there. Just in case.’

‘Sally,’ Spook addressed her patiently. ‘It’s a little house, on a teeny island. There’s barely enough room for the band and associated guests, and there’s no staff besides my housekeeper who delivers the shopping and does a quick tidy round. Nobody visits. Nobody drops by unannounced. By all means, have your guys stay here and if any of us decide to go on a road trip they can tag along, but they’re not setting foot inside my home. Got it?’

‘We’ll see about that,’ Sally spat, her complexion turning a horrid shade of puce. ‘Graham’s not going to be impressed by this.’ She jabbed at the face of her mobile phone and put it to her ear. The dial tone was loud enough that they could all hear it, even over the purr of the motor.

‘Are you sure about this?’ Xane asked, leaning over to address Spook.

‘Do you want ninja squad standing over you?’

‘Course not.’

‘Then let’s end this conversation now, before she puts Graham on speakerphone. Untie us.’

Grinning, Xane released the tether, and Spook took them smoothly away from the quayside.

‘Come back you idiots,’ Sally bellowed, chasing them to the end of the jetty, but then they were in open water and out of her reach. ‘You’re going to get yourselves into all sorts of trouble. Spook, turn back this minute. Spook, do you hear me? I’m not happy about this. Graham will hear about this.’

Spook drowned her voice by revving the engine.

Their manager was over a thousand miles away. Who gave a shit if he didn’t like it?

Chapter 3

The island to which they headed was only a few acres across, and sat far enough out on the lake that the quayside they’d left behind resembled something from a scale model. Spook brought the speedboat in to dock at a short stone jetty. At the end of that narrow walkway, a pea-green lawn stretched upward to a traditional wooden house, backed by woodland.

Dani fell into step alongside Spook as they carried the luggage up to the house. ‘So this is home,’ she remarked. ‘It’s so peaceful.’

‘I think “peaceful” might be a relative term. This lot aren’t exactly known for being quiet.’ He tilted his head back towards the rest of the party ambling along behind them. ‘And I dread to think what sort of nonsense they have planned for Xane’s birthday.’

Rock Giant, who was directly behind them, clapped a hand on each of their shoulders and leaned forward between them. ‘Sex, drugs and rock ’n’ roll, obviously.’

‘Not actual drugs?’ Dani gave her lip a nervous nip, while her stomach cramped in fear. She hated the very idea of anything illegal happening. And drugs … drugs were just bad.

Rock Giant squeezed her shoulder. ‘You’re Xane’s drug of choice, anyway, so no need to look so concerned. I didn’t mean it in a literal sense.’

Thank God, her subconscious sighed in relief.

‘Although no doubt he’s going to binge on you all the same. Well, you and the rock-climbing dude.’

Dani glanced back at Xane and Luthor who were walking side by side at the back of the group, their bodies angled towards one another, and stupid smiles eating up their features. They looked sickeningly in love. She tore her gaze away before she let jealousy get the better of her and transform her into a horrid green-eyed monster.

‘Hey, Xane.’ Rock Giant turned so that he was walking back up the hill. ‘Do we get to play pass the parcel at your party?’

When Xane looked up, Rock Giant pulled Dani into an over-affectionate embrace.

‘Keep your filthy hands off her,’ Xane growled.

‘Let go,’ Spook urged Rock Giant, and then hurried her on until they were a few feet ahead.

‘What was that about?’ she asked, confused both by Paul’s overly affectionate manner and Xane’s cussing.

‘Nothing. Paul trying to get a rise out of Xane. It’s what he does when he’s bored. Let it go.’ He scratched his brow. ‘Time to get everyone settled and find Paul something productive to focus on, like making music instead of enemies. It’d be nice to spend at least the first twenty-four hours together without Xane and Paul trying to slaughter one another.’

The two men did snipe at each other a lot, but Dani had always figured that was down to Elspeth’s influence. Maybe the truth was that she only escalated what was already a fairly antagonistic relationship.

‘You’re not going to start working on the new album today though, are you?’

‘We’ll probably just jam for a bit if Ash is up to it once he arrives, and leave the real work for a couple of days.’

By now, they’d reached the gravelled area to the side of the house, and Spook delved in his pocket for his keys. ‘It’s still a bit of a novelty doing this,’ he admitted. ‘I’ve had the place about fourteen months, but I’ve spent less than seven nights here.’

‘How come?’

‘If we’re not touring, we’re in the studio, or doing interviews, or recording videos. Inevitably if I get a few days off it’s easier to chill at my place in England than fly out here. Or if I do get to Sweden, by the time I’ve made the obligatory family visits it’s time to knuckle down to work again.’

‘You make it sound like a standard evil day job.’

‘Except it involves working nights, weekends and living in the public eye.’ He laughed. ‘I wouldn’t change it. Rock Star is an awesome job title.’

Dani found herself laughing along with him.

‘Being a rock-star WAG on the other hand sounds pretty terrible. Urgh!’ She stuck her tongue out. ‘Is that really what I am?’

Having unlocked the door Spook faced her, a smile still inching up the corners of his mouth. ‘Not unless you start dressing in couture and insisting on attending prize ceremonies, charity galas and other red-carpet events so that your picture is never out of the gossip rags.’

‘I don’t much fancy any of that. It was grim enough being hounded by photographers after that stupid video went viral.’

‘Yes, well, you know the solution to that – don’t hump on trains.’

She pitched another glance at Xane over her shoulder. ‘He’s not so easy to say no to.’

‘Is that how you came to agree to share Xane with Luthor?’ Spook welcomed her inside. He flicked on a few lights that gave a warm glow to some dingy corners.

Dani considered her response as she toed off her shoes and left them in the entry-hall-cum-boot-room. Beyond lay a corridor that opened out halfway along into a huge open-plan living space, with a mezzanine level nestled up near the bared rafters.

‘I don’t want to lose him,’ she admitted, when Spook followed her into the room and indicated she was welcome to sit. She flopped onto a ludicrously comfortable sofa. ‘We talked it through. I agreed I was prepared to give things a go with some rules in place.’

Spook nodded. ‘Good luck with that.’

‘I know I can’t be everything he needs, and I don’t want to force him to deny part of himself. Do you not think it’s the right choice?’

‘It’s not my decision.’

She realised that the others hadn’t come in. ‘Did they get lost?’ she asked, standing up and retracing a few of her steps. Rock Giant opened the door to the boot-room at exactly that moment, providing her with a glimpse of the room beyond, and Xane and Luthor entwined within one another’s arms, enjoying a sultry smooch.

Ice water seemed to fill her veins. Spook gently squeezed the top of her arm. ‘Take a breath, Dani. They’re saying hello. I expect they haven’t realised you’re not right beside them.’

‘Yeah.’ She let out a shuddering breath. ‘It’s OK. I’m OK.’

At least Xane released his grip on Luthor’s arse at that moment and turned to her. He smiled, in a way that illuminated all the joy in his heart. It was OK. He was moving towards her, scooping her into his arms and kissing her with every bit as much affection as he’d shown Luthor. ‘Which room is ours?’ he said to Spook.

Dani dug her teeth into her lip, torn between the swell of love invoked by the press of Xane’s body and his desire for her and the fear that he intended to drag both her and Luthor to bed right this minute.

‘Along there on the left, beside the bathroom. I thought you and Dani could have the double and Ash and Ginny can have the twin room as he’s still recuperating.’

Bless Spook for not bundling Luthor in with them.

‘And where am I?’ Rock Giant asked.

‘I thought you and Luthor could pair up and share the Little House.’

‘The Little House – what is that, a separate building?’