Meant To Be Yours

“Yes, that’s true.”

She kept her gaze on his, even though she desperately wanted to look away. “But, ah, I’ve never really done anything like this before.”

“Had a sex-only relationship?”

She winced. “Could we not call it that?”

His voice turned teasing. “But you do want me to be your booty call.”

In for a penny and all that. “Yes.”

He nodded slowly. “So you’d be using me for sex?”

“I could say the same thing about you.”

“I didn’t ask you to be my booty call. I don’t know.” He raised and lowered his shoulders. “I’ve never been anyone’s sex toy before.”

“You didn’t really just say that.”

He dropped his gaze to the floor. “I feel used.”

“Just stop it. No one believes that for a second.”

He looked at her again and grinned. “Sex without the promise of anything more,” he said. “I’m in.” His smile faded. “Having said that, I’d like to keep things exclusive. Otherwise it gets confusing. Unless you want to invite one of your friends to join us.”

“What?” she shrieked.

He stood and pulled her to her feet. “I’m kidding. I know them too well. Worse, I know the men in their lives. It would be weird. So just you and me, for as long as it’s good for us, then when it’s over, we walk away. No regrets, no bad breakup.”

It sounded so mature and modern, she thought. And was exactly what she wanted. And while she was fully aware that it could all end horribly, because her boy-girl things always did, at least she was starting from a position of clarity and honesty.

“Agreed,” she said firmly, raising herself on tiptoe so she could kiss him. “Now, if it’s been long enough, I think I should let you use me for sex. To keep things fair.”

“I like how you think.”

He pulled a condom out of his jeans pocket and tossed it onto the coffee table. “I grabbed that from your bedroom. I say that so you don’t think less of me.” He grinned. “Your sofa is very comfortable. Why don’t we start here and see where things go.”

RENEE HAD BEEN HEALED. Despite her lack of sleep and the generally achiness from unused muscles getting a workout, she felt happy and energized and just a little bit weightless. It was amazing what a night of great sex could do for a woman. And with a little luck and some schedule planning, it was exactly what she intended to experience again and again. Yup, she would be enjoying her booty call bonanza for as long as it lasted.

Jasper had left around two in the morning. Even though she technically could have slept in, she’d been awake by six, happy and practically humming with the glory of the day. After clearing up her work emails, she’d gone to the grocery store for ingredients for one of her favorite pasta salads. She’d fixed that, showered, done a little more paperwork, then just before noon she headed for Willow Gallery, where she would meet her girlfriends for lunch.

She had a large group of friends in town. Their schedules were complicated and everyone was busy, so the weekly lunch was a priority. They rotated locations and whoever hosted provided an entrée. Everyone else brought whatever they were in the mood for. Mostly the menu worked out but every now and then they ended up with three veggie plates. Still, Renee was far more interested in the conversation than the food. She enjoyed the chance to hang with other women. In the past, she’d worked hard to keep herself a safe distance from the people around her. But since moving to Happily Inc, she’d realized it was safe to connect and fit in. She could relax here and that felt good.

Willow Gallery, a beautiful venue close to the river, housed amazing art pieces. Happily Inc was home to several successful artists. Renee had moved to town in time to see her friend Natalie grow from struggling unknown to rising star. Natalie had been able to quit her office manager job to concentrate on her art full-time.

Renee pulled in next to two familiar cars. Pallas and Carol were both already inside, and if previous lunches were anything to go by, they would have brought their babies with them.

Just as difficult as accepting she would never have love in her life, was the realization that she would never have a traditional family. While children weren’t an impossible dream, if she wanted kids, she was going to have to go it alone, and being a single mom wasn’t an easy road. Renee had watched her own mother deal with being both parents while raising a child and it had been hard for her. On the flip side, Renee also knew what it was like to be left by a father and that was a pain that didn’t go away. So while she could have a child on her own, she didn’t want to go that route, and what with her finally accepting she was never going to trust her heart to a man again, she was stuck.

“I’m not going to think about that,” she said aloud as she got out of her car. She’d had great sex the night before, she was going to enjoy hanging with her friends and she would hold Devon and Ryan as much as she could until the other women wrestled the sweet infants from her arms.

She was still smiling as she walked into the gallery. Natalie already had Ryan, so Renee dropped her tote on the buffet table set up by a display of a massive blown glass garden filled with exquisite glass flowers.

“How’s my best girl?” she asked, gently taking the sleeping baby from Carol.

“I’m fine,” her friend said drily. “Thanks for asking.”

Renee grinned. “Good to know.” She gently rocked Devon, enjoying the weight of her and admiring her rosebud mouth and velvety soft skin.

“We need more babies around here,” Pallas said as she unpacked Renee’s insulated tote. “Pasta salad. At some point I need to get off carbs, but I’m not quite ready. What’s in this?”

“Cheese tortellini, bacon, tomatoes, diced cucumber, broccoli all tossed with an avocado ranch dressing and sprinkled with cheese.”

Pallas raised her eyebrows. “That’s a lot of work, young lady.”

Renee thought about her early start and good mood. “I was inspired. It’s a recipe my mom used to make, only she used regular ranch dressing.”

“Sounds delish. I brought brownies,” Pallas said with a sigh. “It’s the carb thing. I can’t help it.”

Silver and Bethany walked in together. Silver dumped her container on the table and headed for Natalie.

“Hi, everyone. Pass him over.”

Natalie reluctantly passed Ryan to Silver.

“I guess we really do need more babies,” Natalie admitted, pushing up her glasses.

“You first,” Silver, a pretty platinum blonde and the owner of a mobile bar called AlcoHaul, told her with a grin.

“Not me.” Natalie shook her head. “I want another year at least before I get pregnant. I’m working on my art and enjoying being married to Ronan. I’m more interested in aunt status right now.”

Renee looked at Bethany, expecting her friend to hurry over and claim Devon, but Bethany stayed by the buffet.

“Hi, everyone,” Bethany said with a wave. “The lunch looks great. I brought a veggie plate.”

Pallas made a face, then forced a smile. “It’s always good to have something healthy on the table.”

Renee lowered her voice and whispered, “Liar.”

Pallas took Devon from her. “I meant it. Sort of.”

Wynn arrived, a plate of brownies in her hand. “Sorry. I got on a call with a client and he was a talker. How is everyone?”

As she spoke, she set down the brownies and reached for Devon.

“Go hug your own baby,” Wynn said with a smile as she cooed at Devon. “Mine is way too old to rock.”

Renee felt an unexpected stab of guilt and worry rip through her. Jasper and Wynn had once been a couple. Sure, things had ended nearly a year ago, but still, they’d been involved. Wynn was her friend and did that make things awkward?

Renee told herself she would talk to Wynn after the lunch—there was no way she was going to discuss it in front of everyone. Not when it was new and she had no idea what having a man available for a booty call actually meant.

The still-sleeping babies were placed in their car seats and the friends filled their plates before sitting at the table that had been set up in the center of the gallery.

“How’s everyone?” Silver asked. “Bethany, weren’t you and Cade planning a trip to El Bahar next month?”

Bethany, the adopted daughter of the king of El Bahar, looked startled by the question. “Nothing is finalized. We’re still figuring it all out. Leaving the horses for that long is always difficult.”

“Don’t you have a manager and several people helping out in the stables?” Renee asked.

“We do, but it’s still complicated.”

Not exactly an answer that made sense, Renee thought. She looked at her friend and wondered if something was going on. Bethany didn’t seem like herself.

“I can’t find anything better than an appletini for the apple wedding,” Silver said. “I’ve tried a bunch of different cocktails and I’m not sure our bride is going to love any of them.”

Pallas looked around the table. “We have an upcoming apple wedding. The bride wants appletinis but the groom’s mother wants a different apple-based drink. So far they’ve been unable to agree on anything. We have one final tasting this week.”

“This whole thing is putting me off apples,” Silver grumbled. “And I like apples.”

“Give yourself an apple-free month and your love will be restored,” Carol told her.

Everyone laughed.

Conversation flowed easily. Renee remembered the first time Pallas had invited her to the girlfriends’ lunch. She’d been nervous and not sure she would get along with the women, but they’d welcomed her and now were an important part of her life. She knew that her friends would be there for her. She liked being a part of something—belonging. She hadn’t had that in a while. Certainly not in high school where the other girls had mostly avoided her. College had been a little better, until someone had figured out the truth about her mother.

Nothing she had to worry about now, she reminded herself. She was keeping Verity far, far away from Happily Inc.

“Great salad,” Wynn said, waving her fork at Renee. “There are just enough vegetables to make me feel righteous.”

Renee smiled and ignored the guilt. She would talk to Wynn later and get any issues resolved. It was the right thing to do.

But ninety minutes later, all Renee wanted to do was bolt. Instead, she forced herself to walk out with Wynn and ask if they could talk for a moment. Wynn looked surprised, but immediately agreed.

“Want to go grab coffee or can this be talked about in the parking lot?”

Renee glanced around. Everyone else had already left and the gallery was closed on Tuesdays, so customers would not be arriving.

“I just need a second,” she said, not sure how to begin. Or what to say. Or... “I had sex with Jasper.”

Wynn, a gorgeous woman with curly, dark hair, raised her eyebrows. “Interesting.”

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to blurt it out like that. It’s just you two used to, you know, be friends, and now you’re not and I wasn’t sure if you were still, um, thinking about him and if it was all right that I...”

“Had sex with him?” The corners of Wynn’s mouth twitched. “Aren’t you asking a little late? The deed is done.”

“I know, but it was unexpected, so I didn’t really have time to text you.”

Wynn grinned. “That would have been a really noteworthy text for sure.” Her expression turned serious. “Our relationship ended last year. We’re completely done and what he does with you is great with me.” The smile returned. “I mean that in a not awkward way.”

Relief erased the guilt. “You’re sure?”

“Very. Jasper and I weren’t right for each other. He’s a great guy, but not my great guy.”

“Oh, this isn’t serious,” Renee said quickly. “Neither of us is looking for that. This is very much a no-strings kind of thing.” No way she was going to mention the booty call aspect of things.

“That’s how it always starts.” Wynn tilted her head. “Just as an FYI, Jasper isn’t as broken as he thinks. You might want to be careful about that.”

Renee had no idea what she was talking about. “Meaning?”

“Most normal guys eventually reach a place where they want more. If you’re sure that’s not in the cards for you, great. But Jasper just might want to change the rules.”

“I can’t see that happening.”

“Maybe I’m wrong.” She smiled. “I’m glad you two found each other. It’s nice to be a part of something.”

“What about you?”

Wynn shook her head. “Yeah, I’m not really that girl. I try to be, but I’m not.”

CHAPTER FOUR

JASPER THOUGHT ABOUT throwing his laptop out the window, but as always, talked himself down. The urge occurred fairly regularly and so far he’d resisted destroying his computer. No good would come of it, he reminded himself. It wasn’t as if getting rid of the piece of equipment would solve the problem. It wasn’t the keyboard’s fault that he couldn’t write for shit.

“Dammit,” he growled, pounding on the table.

Koda raised his head, as if asking what was wrong.

“Sorry,” he told the dog. “Go back to sleep. I’ll be more quiet.” Jasper saved the pitiful three sentences it had taken him the entire morning to write and leaned back in his chair.

“I can’t write women,” he told the dog. “Never knew it was a problem. After six years of being published, you wouldn’t think that would be news, but it turns out I’ve never tried to write a woman before. Not one who isn’t a victim or a one-night stand.”

He rested his head in his hand. “Please don’t repeat that to anyone. It makes me sound like a misogynistic asshole and I’m not. It’s just my detective had been single through the entire series and now that I’m wrapping things up with him and moving on to another character, everyone thinks I need to leave Vidar in a better place, and that means involved with a woman.”

His editor had suggested the idea more than once, and Jasper knew she was right. But who was the woman and how did they meet and when they met, what did they talk about? So far all his dialogue had been stilted and unrealistic. Book dialogue was not like normal human-to-human conversation. It was high points and information and moving the plot forward. In real life...

He smiled, thinking about the conversations he’d had the other night with Renee. Now those had been fun. Especially the parts where she’d gasped “More” or “Harder.” Neither of which was going to make it into his book. Writing a woman was difficult enough—no way he could write sex. He wrote about serial killers, and unless sex was part of the ritual murder, he absolutely was not going there in his novel.

Jasper looked at Koda. “I am one sick guy,” he admitted. “I need help.”

Koda got up and stretched, then picked up his stuffed rabbit and carried it over to Jasper.

“Thanks,” Jasper told the dog, before tossing it across his office. Koda trotted over and picked up the rabbit, carrying it back to Jasper, who threw it again.

They played the game for a few minutes before Jasper gave up pretending to work. He stood and headed for the door, Koda at his heels. They both went outside. Koda headed off into the woods to take care of business while Jasper looked around, wondering if there was any inspiration to be had or if he should simply accept his limitations and hope his career continued despite them.

He was deep in self-flagellation when he heard a familiar voice calling his name. Hunter Beauchene walked around the side of the house.

Wynn’s son was thirteen now, and getting taller by the day. He was at that awkward stage where his arms and legs didn’t fit with his torso. His voice was in the process of changing and every now and then, Jasper caught glimpses of the man he would eventually grow to be.

“Hey, you,” he said, holding out his hand. Hunter did the same as they greeted each other with their elaborate handshake, a ritual that had been established nearly two summers ago. Back when he’d first started seeing Wynn.

Not that she’d introduced him to Hunter. Instead she’d insisted their sex-only relationship be kept secret—especially from her son. If Hunter found out, it was over. Well, Hunter had figured it out almost immediately and had wanted to be friends with Jasper. The kid knew the rules and wanted to keep their hanging out time off his mom’s radar. Jasper had resisted at first but eventually Hunter had won him over and they’d started hanging out. He supposed his willingness to break her only rule had been a sign they weren’t going to make it as a couple. Ironically, as soon as they’d broken up, she’d stopped minding if he hung out with her son. Yup, women were confusing as hell.

“Is it afternoon already?” Jasper asked, glancing up at the sun. It felt earlier.

Hunter looked at him. “It’s barely eleven. I have the day off. The teachers are doing some training or something. You really don’t know what time it is?”

“I’ve been working.”

Hunter nodded, getting the explanation. He was used to Jasper’s odd ways.

Koda broke through the trees and raced toward Hunter. The teen dropped to his knees to greet the dog. In a matter of seconds, they were on the ground, tumbling over each other. The combination of happy yips and human laughter comforted Jasper. At least this part of his world was as it should be.

“You hungry?” Jasper asked, when the two broke apart.

“Got any cookies?”

Jasper and Hunter shared a weakness for Cheryl’s Cookies, and Jasper ordered them frequently. They agreed that the sugar cookies with buttercream frosting were the best.

They went into the kitchen and Jasper pulled four cookies out of the freezer. Hunter poured himself a glass of milk while Jasper refilled his coffee mug. Koda settled in his bed in the kitchen where he could watch everything going on.

The dog was doing well, Jasper thought. Putting on weight, sleeping and settling in to his new life. He was good company.

“How’s school?” Jasper asked as he opened the plastic wrap around the first cookie. “Classes going okay?”

“Jasper, you always ask that.”

“I’m interested. So answer the question.”

Hunter rolled his eyes. “I’m doing fine. I get good grades.”

“You better.”

“Or what?”

Jasper grinned. “You want to go there with me, kid?”

Hunter laughed. “No, I don’t. But in a couple of years I’ll be able to take you.”

“In your dreams.”

“Mom says this year if you hire some guy to teach you a new fighting style I can come to the lessons. As long as they’re after school.” Hunter’s expression was hopeful. “So maybe you could think of something really cool for the book you’re writing.”

Jasper found it easier to write about something if he could actually do it himself. He’d learned to throw knives and use fighting sticks for previous books. And shoot a crossbow. Hunter had begged to be a part of the lessons, but while Jasper was willing to cross some lines, there were others that needed to stay in place.

“I will think of something cool,” he said, “but I will also run whatever it is past your mom.”

“She really did say that.”

“I believe you.” He flashed a grin. “Sort of.”

Hunter laughed and tossed Koda a piece of cookie.

“So what’s going on for the rest of your day off?”

Hunter finished his second cookie and picked up his milk. “I’m going to go over to a friend’s house.”

“You ride all the way up here?”

“I got a ride partway from a park ranger.”

Jasper thought about the pages he hadn’t written. He was behind on his book and if this morning was any indication—and so far, it was—without doing something drastic, he was never going to make forward progress on his story. Maybe he needed a change of scene and a chance to observe women in their natural habitat.

“I’m heading to town,” he said. “We can throw your bike in the back of the truck and I’ll drive you to your friend’s house.”

“Thanks.”

Thirty minutes later Jasper stood in the center of town and tried to figure out what he was supposed to do now. Walk around and watch women going about their lives? That wasn’t going to be good for anyone. He wasn’t some crazed stalker guy and would watching a random female do grocery shopping or walking her baby get him any closer to solving his problem? He honestly didn’t know where to start. Or how to start. Or what he wanted to do.

He walked over to a bench by the river and sat down. Detective Vidar needed a love interest. He didn’t want the woman to be a cop, so not anyone he worked with. Which was limiting because Vidar, like Jasper himself, didn’t have much of a social life. Dating a victim seemed tacky. Plus, most of Jasper’s killer’s victims ended up dead. So someone involved on the fringes of the crime? Or what? A neighbor? A...

He stood up. This was ridiculous. He knew women. Lots of women. All he had to do was talk to one of them. He looked around and saw the large wall that defined the boundaries of Weddings Out of the Box. Renee. He would go see Renee. Not only could they talk about his book, he would get to see her smile and that alone was worth a trip down the mountain.

“WE CAN DO an assortment of different kinds of apples to hold the place cards,” Renee said, scrolling through photos of apples on her computer. “That adds variety. However if you want consistency and to be in line with your color palette, then I would say stick with the Granny Smith apples.”

She paused and glanced at the speakerphone. There was a moment of silence, followed by the sound of breathless female laughter.

“I’ve hit a wall,” Stacey Treadway said. “I can’t make one more decision. I just can’t.”

“Someone has to,” Renee said gently. “And it’s not going to be me.”

“And I thought apples would be easy. Let’s do the Granny Smith apples for the place cards. They’ll go with the glass towers we’ll have around the space and it will look nice.”

“Done and done,” Renee said, studying her list. “Stacey, I don’t want to scare you, but I think we’re finished.”

“Really? So no more decisions?”

“Not today.”

Stacey laughed. “Let me guess. You’re not making any promises.”

“Nope. But we’re really close and your wedding is going to be beautiful. I’m very excited to see everything turn out.”

“Thanks, Renee. You’ve been so wonderful to work with.”

“You’ve been great, too. Just remember, I’m here for you. Call me if you need anything and I’ll do the same. Otherwise, we are good to go.”

“Wow. It’s getting close. I guess I’ll see you soon.”

“You will.”

They hung up. Renee wrote up the notes from their phone call, entering the information on her computer where it would automatically feed to her tablet. A happy wedding day was all about keeping track of the details.

She’d barely hit the save key when Jasper walked into her office.

He looked good, she thought as she felt a bit of tingling low in her belly. Tall and a little rugged. She hadn’t seen him since their night together and wasn’t sure what to say now. Or think. Or how to act. Unexpected nerves tightened her throat and chest and she had the strangest urge to both bolt and throw herself at him. She settled on doing neither.

“Hey,” he said as he paused by the door. “Is this an okay time?”

“It is. What’s up?”

“I was in town and I wondered if we could talk for a second.”

“About?”

He motioned to a chair in front of her desk. She nodded and he sank down, then looked at her.

“I have no idea,” he said.

“You have no idea why you’re in town or you have no idea what you want to talk about?”

“Both.”

“Okay. Do you want to take a minute and collect your thoughts?”