Rescued From Ruin

‘Look at Lord Penston’s mount,’ Madame de Badeau interjected, inclining her head at a round man with white hair riding past them. ‘What a shame. Someone of his standing should invest in a better bit of blood.’

Lord Strathmore responded with an ‘hmm’ before returning to the topic of his carriage, his words keeping pace with the horses as they continued down the Row.

Cecelia smiled at two passing gentlemen, grinding her teeth as their stony faces stared past her. One would think all London were afraid to crack a smile for fear of sending the city sliding into the Thames. Adjusting the reins, she wanted to tap the horse into a sprint and ride like she used to at Belle View. Let the spectacle of a horse truly exercising bring some emotion to the other riders’ staid faces. Instead, she rested her hands on her thighs, rocking with the horse and settling into her thoughts, the mounting pile of bills at home preying on her.

She’d spent the better part of the morning calculating the value of her few possessions against their mounting debts, her depression growing by the minute. The one small ray of hope was the inheritance payment she’d soon receive. It was the only money left to her by her father, his share of a sugar plantation in Barbados, the single investment to have ever made him any money. The payments were never large because there were so many other investors, but even the paltry amount would be enough to ease some of her present worry.

She ran her hand over her wrist, feeling the small bump of the gold bracelet beneath the velvet, not wanting to think about the last time she’d so desperately needed the money. Her mother hadn’t been able to rouse herself for even two hours to see to this small matter and Cecelia had ventured alone to Mr Watkins’s office to collect the payment. Cecelia had railed at her mother afterwards, no longer capable of holding back all her fears and frustration, wishing her mother would wrap her arms around her and tell her everything would be all right. She hadn’t.

Not long afterwards, she had told Cecelia to pack for Lady Ellington’s.

Cecelia’s shoulders sagged, the pain and loneliness of then mirroring her life now. She wanted to slide off the gelding and crawl beneath a bush, curl up in a ball where no one and nothing could bother her. Then she forced back her shoulders and raised her head high, smiling at a passing gentleman. Was his name Mr Hammerworth or Mr Passingstoke? She couldn’t remember and it didn’t matter, nor did she let it trouble her when he trotted past without so much as a glance. She would not give up, she would not leave Theresa alone to face an uncertain future the way her mother had left her.

‘Look—’ Theresa’s voice pierced Cecelia’s thoughts ‘—there’s Lord Falconbridge.’

Cecelia’s body tensed as she watched Randall ride towards them, his eyes fixed on her, his smile wide and inviting. She struggled not to frown, frustrated to know she could elicit smiles from no one in Rotten Row except him.

‘Good evening, Lord Falconbridge,’ Madame de Badeau sang, more cheerful than she’d been the entire length of the ride.

‘Falconbridge,’ Lord Strathmore mumbled.

‘Isn’t it lovely out, Lord Falconbridge?’ Theresa greeted in a bright voice, arching a suggestive eyebrow at Cecelia with an obviousness as chafing as Randall’s presence.

‘Yes, it is, Miss Fields.’ Randall turned his horse, bringing it alongside Cecelia’s. ‘No greeting from you, Mrs Thompson?’

‘Hello, Lord Falconbridge.’ She tried to focus on the path instead of him, but she couldn’t. Atop the brown stallion, he looked like a fine sculpture, his confidence as solid as any bronze casting. He wore a dark riding coat tailored close to fit the strong angles and broad expanses of his torso. The cut of the coat was nothing compared to the close fit of his breeches. His stallion danced and Randall’s thigh muscles tightened as they gripped and eased to control his mount. She followed the line of them up to a more enticing muscle before a rumbling laugh made her eyes snap to his.

‘I see you’re enjoying all the sights of the Row,’ he teased.

She swatted a fly from her skirt, annoyed at having been caught staring at him.

‘I’m enjoying the ride, not the sights, Lord Falconbridge.’

‘Randall, please, like in old times.’ He placed one hand over his heart, the gesture genuine and matched by the sincerity in his eyes. She caught in their depths the young man who’d once sat beside her on the banks of the River Stour, listening while she cried out her anger at being sent away and her worries over the future. It touched the cold, lonely place inside of her, the one growing like a tumor since Daniel’s death.

‘I’m surprised to see you out riding,’ she commented, eager to thwart the encroaching pensiveness. His comfort had been fleeting and hardly worth remembering. ‘Why aren’t you home resting for another long night of ruining people?’

The teasing remark came out sharper than intended and she steeled herself, expecting a cutting response. Instead he laughed, the barb rolling off him like water off a fine saddle. ‘Contrary to what you believe, I don’t spend every evening ruining young gallants who possess more money than wits.’

‘How do you spend your evenings, then?’ She was truly curious.

He shrugged. ‘Much the same as you do.’

‘I doubt it.’ Since I don’t bed half the widows in society. Lady Ilsington rode by on her chestnut gelding, eyeing Randall with a hungry look, then frowning when he failed to acknowledge her. ‘With the exception of balls, it isn’t my habit to keep late hours.’

He leaned towards her, his thighs tightening beneath the buckskin, their hardness carrying up through the solid centre of him to his blue eyes shaded by his hat. ‘Then we must cure you of such a strange malady.’

Her hands tightened a little too hard on the reins and the horse began to veer towards Randall.

‘An interesting proposition, but I think your cure might be worse than the disease,’ she rushed, correcting the horse.

‘You would die a thousand little deaths.’

His low voice twined around her and her knee bent harder around the pommel, her pulse fluttering against the tight collar of her habit as she slowed the horse to drop behind the others, ignoring Theresa’s questioning look.

Randall slowed his stallion to keep pace, loosening his grip on the reins as the horses ambled along.

‘Shall we dismount here and wander off into the bushes?’ she suggested. ‘Or would you prefer a more clandestine meeting— your town house, perhaps—late at night? I could wear a veil and arrive by hackney, most sinful and nefarious indeed.’

His finger trilled slowly over his thigh. ‘You make it sound so sordid when it could be so beautiful.’

She ran her tongue over her lips, noting with triumph how it drew his eyes to her mouth, her power over him driving her boldness. ‘Am I really an illustrious enough candidate to bestow your favours on?’

‘Who could be more illustrious than an old friend?’

Friend. She brought the gelding to a stop, the word snapping her out of the seductive haze. They’d been more than friends once, or so she’d believed until the end. He was mistaken if he thought he could charm her into forgetting. It was time to bring his teasing to an end. ‘As an old friend you will understand when I politely decline.’

He turned his horse, walking it back to her as the others rode on. ‘And you will understand when I ask again tomorrow, or perhaps the day after.’

‘No, Randall, I won’t.’ The gelding shifted and she tugged the reins to steady it, the animal’s agitation adding to her own. ‘Why do you continue to pester me when I’ve made my position clear?’

‘Because you captivate me, more than you realise.’

The revelation nearly knocked her from the saddle and she shifted her foot in the stirrup to keep her seat. Did he really care for her or was this all part of his game, his ego’s desire to capture the adoration of every woman in London, even an insignificant widow? Her horse shook its head and she turned it in a circle, eager like the animal to vent the energy building inside her.

She positioned her riding crop over the horse’s flank, mischief creeping in beneath her resentment. If he wanted the thrill of the chase, she’d give him one, along with a beating solid enough to end his interest in her. ‘Do you still race, my lord? I remember you were the best in the county.’

‘I was eighteen.’

‘Then I expect you’ve improved with age. To the statue and do not disappoint.’

She snapped the crop against the horse and it shot off down Rotten Row. Behind her, the stallion’s hooves drummed a steady beat on the packed dirt path and in a moment Randall was beside her. They raced side by side, the horses nearly in sync as they flew past geldings shying off the path or rearing up in surprise, their wide-eyed riders hanging on tightly. She turned the horse to the right to avoid a curricle, the driver’s curses lost in the pounding of the gelding’s hooves. Randall dodged around a group of riders and fell back until the path cleared and his stallion picked up speed. The statue came into view and his horse pulled ahead. She dug her heel into the side of the gelding and the horse leapt forward, passing the statue a nose length before Randall’s.

‘Now there’s the woman I remember,’ Randall congratulated, his thick voice echoing through her, infectious and alluring as they slowed their horses to a walk.

‘It’s been ages since I’ve ridden like that.’ Her heart raced in her ears and Cecelia lifted her face to catch the stiff breeze sweeping over her damp skin.

‘Shall we canter to the lake?’ He circled her with his horse, tempting her with the energy radiating between them. ‘Put that horse of yours through its paces?’

‘I think it’s you who’ll be put through his paces. You pulled back, just like you always used to do.’

‘I did no such thing.’

‘You did, I saw it, and I’ll see it again at the lake.’ She raised the reins, ready to snap the horse back into action, when three old matrons crossing their path in the curricle stopped her. The tallest one glared at her from beneath a dark parasol while the other two whispered behind their hands. Only then did Cecelia notice the other riders watching them, their faces pinched and disapproving. What little she’d accomplished with all her smiles, she’d just undone in a moment of rashness.

She swallowed hard, the riders’ scrutiny too much like the morning she’d entered Bruton Parish Church to meet the cold stares of every family who believed General LaFette’s lies. It would happen again here in London if she wasn’t careful. Only this time, there was nowhere else for her and Theresa to go.

‘What’s wrong?’ Randall asked.

She wrapped the reins around one hand, eager to be away from him, the Row and everyone who’d seen them. ‘Once again I’ve forgotten myself in your presence.’

Randall scowled, bringing his horse close to hers. ‘Don’t worry what they think.’

She pulled her horse’s head to one side, forcing him away from Randall’s mount. ‘Unlike you, I must.’

‘What happened to the brave girl I remember?’

‘As you said, I was a girl. A lady must mind her behaviour.’

‘No, you have the means to be free. Don’t let these people make you afraid.’

‘Don’t seek to counsel me, Lord Falconbridge,’ she snapped. ‘You know nothing of me or my life.’

She kicked her horse into a trot back up the path, her habit itchy under the rising heat of her embarrassment and anger. How dare Randall sit on his horse with all the privileges of his sex, title and wealth and instruct her on how to behave? How dare he try to tempt her into an indiscretion, then chide her for wanting to protect her reputation? He’d abandoned his so long ago, it was clear he couldn’t fathom why anyone would want to keep theirs.

The animal tried to gallop, but she kept him at a trot, despite wanting to let it run, to carry her away from all the heartless people and her own troubles. Ahead, Madame de Badeau and Lord Strathmore came into view, their faces hard. Madame de Badeau walked her horse out to meet Cecelia.

‘A splendid display of horsemanship.’ It was a warning, not a compliment. ‘I don’t know how ladies ride in Virginia, but here they don’t race through Rotten Row.’

‘I’m sorry. I quite forgot myself.’

‘I don’t recommend forgetting yourself again.’ She inclined her head at Lord Strathmore, his snub nose wrinkled in disapproval. ‘Not all gentlemen appreciate such spirited public displays.’

Anger burned up Cecelia’s spine and she wanted to turn and gallop back to Randall, dismiss them both and embrace the freedom he offered. Only the sight of Theresa beside the Earl kept her from snapping the horse into a run. It wasn’t freedom Randall offered, but an illusion as fleeting as those her father used to create before every failed trip to Calais, and as likely to sink her as her father’s ship had sunk him and his business.

‘Come along, then.’ Madame de Badeau escorted Cecelia back to Lord Strathmore, riding beside her like a guard.

Cecelia felt like a prisoner to her debt and to every bad choice made by her father, her mother and even Daniel. They’d all escaped the ramifications of their decisions, leaving her, always her, to deal with the consequences.

Resignation extinguished her anger and she let the horse, Lord Strathmore’s horse, continue forward. It wasn’t just her future at risk, but Theresa’s. If she lost the Earl’s good opinion, and the opinion of who knew how many others, Theresa would suffer, too, and she refused to allow it. Fingering her gold bracelet, she tried to look contrite while thinking of all the simpering words she might say to soothe the hard set of Lord Strathmore’s lips. Each turn of phrase burned her tongue like hot water, but she would say them. Life was what it was and she must make the best of it. Nothing good could come from wishing for it to be any different.

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