Selfish Beings

‘Or what they’re almost covering up,’ said Kaarl.

He decided not to press the matter further; the sisters had always had their quirks. Their skills would more than make up for them and he did owe them for getting him online in Perdition. A trip to Earth, even though it was a working holiday, was the least he could have done for them and it was nice to have his friends with him. He turned his attention to their newly enhanced assets; the dresses made it hard not to.

‘Why have you done that to your chests?’ asked Kaarl. ‘Those things look heavy.’

‘This,’ said Vetis with a grin and a quick shake, ‘is how we get our walking around money.’

‘How? Will you be selling milk?’

‘You’ll see,’ chimed the twins.

Kaarl took in his surroundings once he was over the disorientation caused by the realm change. The trio were in a dark alley between two buildings. Metal stairs and ladders ran up the buildings either side of them and nothing but random litter, a worse for wear cat and a dumpster inhabited the immediate area. He and the twins began to walk towards the light at the mouth of the alley. People streamed past the gap and their chatter grew louder as the trio approached. When they stepped out of the gloom on to the street the sights and sounds of the Mortal city took Kaarl’s breath.

‘Welcome to Los Angeles,’ the girls said.

The decision had not been an easy one for the Demon; London, Beijing, Moscow or New York would also have been ideal starting locations. All of Kaarl’s research, however, had led him to believe their greatest chance of success lay, ironically, in the City of Angels. It was 11 p.m. Friday night in Downtown L.A. and the bars were just starting to fill up as the budget-conscious patrons began drifting in from their pre drinks at home. Kaarl stood watching the night time revellers stream past, alternating between them and the myriad of bars, restaurants and other buildings. Even though he considered himself something of an expert on Earth he had no idea as to the purpose of many of them.

‘Don’t do that,’ said Verin, grabbing his arm. ‘You look like some hillbilly that’s never seen a city before.’

‘Or like you’re tripping on acid,’ her sister added.

‘I haven’t seen a Mortal city before,’ replied Kaarl. ‘I mean of course I’ve seen Mortals before and their cities on the Net but this is different. They’re in their natural environment now and I’m here too. It’s…amazing.’

‘We’re supposed to be taking them to the Gates of Perdition,’ Verin told him, ‘not making a wildlife documentary.’

The twins led Kaarl through the throngs on the streets of L.A. and he soon began to differentiate certain smells. The realm didn’t really have its own one; it was the amalgamation of previously unknown ones that caused the effect. An untold number of them mingled in the streets and on occasion he had to stop. Although Kaarl had discovered they were separate he had a hard time working out exactly where each one was coming from.

‘We’d better keep moving,’ said Verin. ‘The first thing you need to know about a Mortal existence is that it sucks without money.’

I’m actually here Kaarl repeated to himself as he followed the twins. What had started as a pipe dream and evolved into a dubious proposition was finally a reality. He tried to catalogue each individual experience but was soon swept away in sensory overload. Stars instead of the burning sky, the crisp night air instead of Perdition’s constant humidity and there were Mortals bustling in every direction. The Damned generally just drank themselves into a stupor and stumbled around aimlessly. It was better than Kaarl could have imagined. He knew his view of the realm from his computer had been limited. Having all five senses engaged at once instead of merely seeing and hearing hammered the point home. He wasn’t in Perdition any more.

Perfume and deodorant, stale sweat and halitosis; the new aromas kept on coming and Kaarl took them all in, even the ones that made him gag a little. A few of the mortals had the music on their phones blaring so loud they seemed to be sharing it with everyone they passed. Judging by the looks they received and some of the comments, their generosity was not always appreciated.

The sights were familiar in many respects, as were most of the sounds. Movies and TV shows had acclimatised him to an extent. Seeing them in person, however, added a new dimension. The cars, the buildings, the heavy-set Latino gangsters; they weren’t scenery or extras in the background: he could touch them. Not that he would touch them; Kaarl was new to their realm, not a complete moron.

Kaarl knew the glow would wane eventually but that always happened when one became accustomed to something. Even once the shimmer had gone there was a quality of the Mortal life and realm, an aspect they seemed to take for granted, that would never diminish in its appeal. They were free.

Until they died, they had no Lucifer, no God unless they chose to. It made them different; the way they thought and felt, the way they acted, the way they lived. It made everything about them and their world exciting and opened up possibilities unheard of in Perdition. They had no omnipotent overseer unless they believed in one. They still had societal pressures, of course, but it was not nearly as unusual for a Mortal to stray from them. The Internet was loaded with pariahs who had banded together to bask in their individuality. Admittedly, groups of non-conformists were somewhat contradictory but that just highlighted the “anything goes” nature of their realm.

Perdition obviously had something going for it as well. Every other demon and Damned Mortal seemed to enjoy being there; it just wasn’t right for Kaarl. He had always been a square peg in a round hole there but on Earth he had the chance to be more. He had been given the opportunity to live as he pleased as well as serve Lucifer. Perdition might not have been an ideal place for him to grow up but it was his realm and he did have a duty towards it. There was also the danger of Lucifer’s wrath. The Master of Perdition had been nothing but cordial when Kaarl had met him but failure was still not an option.

Kaarl began focusing on the Mortals as the trio worked their way through the pedestrians. They weren’t exactly ecstatic about their freedom.

‘They’re miserable,’ he said after a few minutes.

Aside from those who were obviously drunk or high, the expressions generally ranged from aggressive to mildly content to downright forlorn.

‘What?’ asked Vetis.

‘They’re miserable,’ Kaarl repeated as he glanced around. ‘They avoid eye contact, their smiles and laughs are lies for the most part. Has something happened here?’

‘Life has happened,’ replied Verin. ‘Do you think Facebook is a window into their souls? It’s a front; something to make their friends jealous and their lives seem special.’

‘Save the cynicism, sis,’ said Vetis. ‘They aren’t all like this. We’ve caught them at a bad time is all. They are out hunting for sex and fights. That’s not recreation like in Perdition; it’s serious business. You’ll see more of what you expected during daylight, Kaarl. Up here the night, particularly during the weekends, belongs to the false and desperate.’

Despite Vetis’s reassurance, it was still a shock to Kaarl. He knew everything on the Internet needed to be taken with a grain of salt but the people were disconnected, even the ones in groups. They were all missing something and he doubted a change in natural lighting levels would fix it. Whether it was true purpose, a sense of belonging or something else entirely he didn’t know, but it was significant. Although Perdition’s hierarchy did not really care about the Damned, they were far more content than the people he saw that night in L.A.

Debt, financial stability and looks were apparently some of their biggest worries but couldn’t be the only cause of their misery. The Mortals’ primary concern would always be death and for many fear of the afterlife that came with it added to the pressure. That made more sense to Kaarl. Death was so final if you didn’t know the truth; life did in fact go on once the mortal coil was shuffled off. He wished he could just tell them that if they played their cards right they could go to Hell and be a lot happier. Knowing without a doubt there was light at the end of the tunnel might have made their lives seem more bearable. Kaarl didn’t like living in Perdition very much but their fellow Mortals gave it rave reviews.

Information on Paradise was as unreliable as that on Perdition. It seemed the Mortals had grasped the “how to get there” well enough for both realms but “what to expect on arrival” was nothing but conjecture. Logic dictated that they would be polar opposites and if that was the case then Hell did seem the better option for their eternal souls — Mortals in Paradise would be heavily monitored, have their harmony strictly regulated and be unable to indulge in alcoholic beverages or sweaty orgies. He wondered why so many of them would deny themselves so many things just to be stuck somewhere like that for eternity.

The more he thought about it, the more the Light Bearer’s words made sense. Their fears were unfounded and they adhered to stupid rules in the hopes of gaining entry to a place that was in all likelihood sterile and bland. What good was freedom if the Hated One’s strict moral code hung over them at every turn? In Perdition all options were open and nothing was denied them. Kaarl’s mission would not be easy, but the challenge was part of the fun. No one on Earth would thank him for his efforts; for it all to work they could never know what his true objective was. In the long run, though, they would be grateful; Kaarl would help them find their way to Perdition and a better afterlife.

His train of thought was abruptly derailed when the twins began to gravitate towards one of the busier-looking bars. O’Malley’s was an Irish themed establishment with wooden panelling decorating its facade and the compulsory shamrocks painted on its windows.

‘No more drinking,’ he told the twins when he realised where they were heading. ‘Not yet, anyway. It seems like we barely left Faithless.’

‘We are getting some money, relax,’ replied Vetis. ‘We won’t be in here long.’

‘We must have passed at least twenty bars,’ said Kaarl. ‘Why this one?’

‘The clientele, the availability of escape routes, minimal security. I could go on for ages,’ Verin told him. ‘The main reason, though, is that there is no door charge here and we are penniless, in case you had forgotten.’

The girls discreetly showed him how to create the illusion of a valid ID before they got to the door. It was a strange custom, restricting alcohol to certain ages, but one Kaarl was familiar with, thanks again to the Internet. There were very few minors in Perdition and if you were old enough to sin you were old enough for gin.

As the demonic trio held up their conjured fake IDs for inspection the doorman gave them a cursory look, smiled at the girls, stone faced Kaarl and then they were through the doors. The twins walked Kaarl up to the bar and found him a space.

‘Stay here,’ said Verin. ‘When we come back, it’s time to leave. Quickly but without drawing too much attention.’

Kaarl watched as the girls sauntered over to two men in expensive-looking suits and started talking. Within minutes Verin was sitting on the lap of one and Vetis was sitting close to the other, with one of her arms at a strange angle under the table. Another minute passed and all four of them were heading off to a door marked “Men”.

Kaarl was disappointed that there was not much difference from similar places in Perdition. It had music, that was one obvious change, but he didn’t care for what was playing. There was a conspicuous absence of brawls and sex but Kaarl knew those things were frowned upon in public in the Mortal realm. To see a bar without them was a little strange but he could still sense a somewhat muted undercurrent of lust and violence in the drunken crowd. Overall, the atmosphere was familiar in more ways than he would’ve liked.

As he continued to look around, he noticed a young lady with her head slightly down and her eyes directly on him further along the bar. He’d seen the twins give men and Demons a similar look when they wanted to tease them but he could tell the Mortal was genuine. Kaarl hoped she didn’t attempt to make an advance; he did not care for the distraction and had no idea how to make her go away should she try.

‘She’s cute,’ said Vetis, appearing beside him. ‘If we didn’t have to go right now you could totally bang her.’

Verin was right behind her and the twins steered Kaarl away from the bar and out of the door.

‘That was fast,’ said Kaarl as they headed in search of another street and bar. ‘I thought that sort of thing took a bit of time.’

Vetis looked at him with feigned disgust.

‘We are not sluts, Kaarl,’ she said. ‘Why put out when a punch to the brachia gets the same result, and without the stickiness or bad aftertaste?’

The girls laughed as they compared their takings. It was apparently a contest between them and Vetis was winning with five hundred dollars to Verin’s two hundred and change.

The girls repeated the rip-off at eight bars over the course of the evening and had taken just over four thousand dollars between them. Vetis had been the clear winner, raking in almost two and a half grand. The twins were clearly good at picking wealthy marks but the amounts taken by each of them were really luck of the draw. Although Kaarl was loath to interrupt Vetis’s victory dance, he had been curious about something since the third mugging.

‘Won’t this little crime spree draw attention to you girls?’ he asked when he was sure he wouldn’t be overheard.

The twins laughed for a while at their own private joke before they let Kaarl in on it.

‘Can you imagine that, sis?’ said Verin, not caring who could hear her. ‘Hello, is this the police? I’d like to report a mugging. This smoking-hot blonde girl offered me a good time in the toilets at the club then knocked me out cold and stole all my money.’

‘If for any reason they did call the cops,’ added Vetis, ‘like for insurance purposes or whatever, I guarantee you the location changes and the description becomes some male ethnic minority of stocky build and average height.’

‘Shame on them,’ laughed Verin.

As soon as they were able to, the twins hailed a cab. When they got in, it too had its own distinct smell but Kaarl had no problem identifying it after his taste of L.A. nightlife. It was body odour and cheap aftershave.

‘Where to?’ the surly cab driver asked the trio, making no attempt to hide his glances at the girl’s “assets”.

‘The Omni,’ replied Verin and the driver nodded before tearing his eyes from the twins and using the rear-view mirror for its intended purpose as he pulled out. In the grey-black of early dawn Kaarl marvelled at the mortal city as they made their way towards the hotel.

A group of people staggered down the street in the muted light of the very early morning. In some ways his first hours in the realm had shown him it shared many things in common with Perdition. The similarities were only minor disappointments, however; Kaarl had dreamt of visiting Earth for almost three centuries and was finally there. Setting was everything. The clips and images he had seen on the Internet in no way gave a true impression of what it was really like. Perdition was a vast city, many hundreds of times larger than Los Angeles, yet besides the tower his father worked in, the buildings were mostly one to three storey affairs. In L.A. skyscrapers and large apartment blocks were commonplace. Seeing them on a screen did not do them justice.

While the twins held their own conversation, he tried to absorb every detail of his new home and the soon-to-be birthplace of the empire he would build in Lucifer’s honour. The taxi ride to the Omni was like a safari, but at the end of it he would be one of the animals instead of a mere visitor to their jungle.

The crisp, air conditioned splendour of the Omni was strange on arrival. Cool or cold, depending on your point of view, was not something one felt in Perdition. The foyer of the hotel was tiled with an intricate tan and white stone floor that exuded elegance. It reminded Kaarl of Soul Reaper Tower’s grand entrance in some ways. Although less than six hours had passed since then it felt like a much longer time to Kaarl. He had travelled untold distances from Perdition to Earth in the blink of an eye and his new body was starting to feel the fatigue.

Verin and Vetis handled check in and had to use a great amount of their womanly charm to do so. The trio were well before the normal appointed time for check in and the fact they were not using a credit card made matters worse. The middle-aged concierge did his best to uphold hotel policy; however, the gorgeous blonde demonic bombshells took no prisoners when they wanted something. The girls won through in the end with dazzling charm and generous flashes of their side boob.

Five nights and the deposit took quite a good portion of their earnings from the lusty young men of L.A. The nearby porter, crestfallen at the party’s lack of luggage and therefore his tip, turned his attention to Vetis. She gave him a seductive wink and his face reddened a little. He wondered if the disgustingly handsome and lucky man was going to survive his five-day romp with the stunning blondes.

The dark grey carpet and neutral colours of the room were a surprise. It was still a stylish and sophisticated suite; however, after the foyer Kaarl had expected something more palatial. While the twins were busy getting acquainted with the mini-bar and the overly high and pillow-covered bed, Karl began reading the hotel’s Welcome Guide.

‘It says here you can get the Internet via the television’ said Kaarl as he turned the page. ‘Smart TV indeed.’

‘Good, we’ll need that to track down our financiers,’ said Verin, devouring a snack-sized Toblerone. ‘It probably costs a fortune to use it; all hotels are like that. We’ve had two beers and a couple of those little bottles of the hard stuff so we’re already down another twenty-five bucks.’

‘Then it’s back to the streets with you two and your twins again tonight,’ Kaarl replied, barely dodging one of the large cream pillows that was hurled at him.

Remote in hand, he followed the instructions in the guide dutifully and soon had Google up on the TV and the wireless keyboard so thoughtfully provided by the hotel.

‘Thanking you,’ said Vetis as she took it from Kaarl and her sister joined them on the bed. The twins began scanning the social pages, LA Times and various other websites listing the Who’s Who of the city. An hour later they had a list of thirty billionaires and multi-millionaires in L.A. and the surrounding areas. All of the people they had found either owed the big man downstairs a few favours, or were so corrupt and immoral that it was prudent planning for their immortal futures to get in Lucifer’s good graces.

‘That should be enough to start off with,’ Verin said. ‘We can get more if we need to as we expand. There will definitely be enough green between these fat cats to get the ball rolling, though.’

‘We’re going to need an account to put the money in,’ said Vetis, ‘and proper IDs; the trick we used tonight is going to be no good in the long run, especially for what you’re planning.’

‘Time to earn my keep then,’ said Kaarl, taking the keyboard from the sisters.

Chapter Six: Show me the money

Kaarl had sent an email to Lucas Alhberg, a twenty-five-year-old native of Sweden he had developed a firm friendship with online. On paper, Lucas’s life was quite pathetic; he was overweight, unemployed and living in his parents’ basement. On the web, however Lucas was a legend. His hacker tag XXXPLC17 (or ‘Explicit’ to those unfamiliar with ‘leet speak’) was infamous and he and his clan of fellow miscreants, fLaW, were widely known for bringing out the best quality pirate movies not yet released in the cinemas. Beyond that they also had a vast list of other technologically brilliant and shady accomplishments to their collective names; ones that would land them all in prison for a very long time if they were common knowledge.

Lucas’s uncle by marriage had been a resident of Perdition for over a decade. While society and his victims had viewed him as a brutal monster, Lucas had loved and respected his uncle. Seeing some of his mischievous nature in the boy, the feeling had been reciprocated. Although his life had ended in a hail of police gunfire, and he was still known better as the Beast of Boras, Lucas had nothing but fond memories of the man. Kaarl had, on a whim, tracked him down a few years earlier for a chat about their mutual acquaintance on Earth.

As soon as he’d worked out the basics of his plan, Kaarl told Lucas about his true nature and asked for help if he was chosen to lead Perdition’s charge. Naturally, Lucas had been very sceptical at first and believed Kaarl had been experimenting with hard drugs. His one-line reply had said as much: “Cocaine and Keyboards do not mix”.

When Kaarl responded with details that no one but Lucas or his uncle would know the hacker was convinced and in many ways excited. Always an open-mined individual, he had very little concern at finding out his online friend was actually a young Demon who might be visiting soon and needed a little illegal help on arrival.

He had promised Kaarl assistance with getting valid identities and anything else required. The Demon in turn had promised him money and a place in his organization when it was established. Lucas had already created lives for the trio and attached a list of birth details, social security numbers and other information when Kaarl emailed him from the Omni. He had also included the addresses of businesses in the immediate area that would be able to take photos for their IDs and made arrangements for a temporary solution to their banking needs. With the twins suitably impressed, Kaarl stole a few hours’ sleep to overcome his realm-lag.

When Kaarl woke sunlight was streaming through the windows of the hotel room. He walked out to the balcony and let it touch his skin for the first time. Too bright to look at directly, he instead closed his eyes and basked in its warmth. The red that played across the back of his eyelids reminded him of Perdition’s Sky of Fire but the sunlight felt so much better.

‘He looks like one of those guys in the prison movies,’ Vetis said to her sister. ‘Fresh out after twenty.’

In some ways I feel that, thought Kaarl.

‘It must be breakfast time,’ said Verin, reaching for the phone. ‘I’ll call room service.’

‘Call a cab,’ Kaarl told her. ‘Breakfast can wait; we have a bank account to fill.’

‘It’s like you don’t trust us,’ said Vetis. ‘We told you the money won’t be a problem. You’ve wanted to come here for so long;, why rush straight into the work?’

‘Because I want to stay here,’ Kaarl told them, ‘and I know you do as well. That means we need to perform. Once things are up and running we’ll have time to do whatever we want but I don’t feel comfortable sightseeing just yet. If we let Lucifer down—’

‘Breakfast isn’t sightseeing,’ replied Verin, ‘but fine. We’ll make bank so you can avoid an aneurism, then we are getting something to eat or you’ll have a mutiny on your hands.’

As the taxi fought its way through Los Angeles’ traffic, Verin and Vetis sat fidgeting with their hair and suffering the driver’s unwanted attention. The sunlight and smog gave everything an unusual tint as Kaarl watched the Mortals going about their business. Jogging, shopping, and playing with their children. There were no children in Hell and Kaarl’s eyes lingered on them for a reason other than novelty value; their smiles were genuine.

In the more impoverished areas they passed Kaarl gained a true appreciation of the gap between the rich and poor on Earth. Aside from a select few of the Damned, who enjoyed larger residences for their contributions to evil, housing in Perdition was relatively uniform. The average stone house in Hell made many of the dwellings he saw look like hovels. There were even people in the streets, and not just because they were too drunk to find their way home. They were actually living there.