The Silver Bells Christmas Pantomime: The perfect feel-good Christmas romance!

Her face fell as she turned her attentions back to her slice of Victoria sponge. ‘That’s a pity; you’re a natural on stage, darling, and it’d be lovely to see you back doing something you love. Plus it’d wipe the smug grin off Christabel Grant’s face if you got involved. You’d act circles round her!’

I almost choked on my mouthful of cake; my mum was usually really easy-going and never got worked up about anyone. However, there was something about Luna Bay’s resident drama queen that seemed to really wind her up.

‘The last thing I need is Christabel making me public enemy number one,’ I replied, pouring myself some more tea. ‘Besides, I’ve got more than enough to keep me busy just now: I’ve got my job at Fox’s and…’

I trailed off when I realised I didn’t have anything else to add to my list. A furious crimson blush crept onto my cheeks and neck and I had to flip my hair over my face to hide it.

Mum raised her eyebrows in that way mums always do when they know they’re right. I could feel one of her speeches coming on and as soon as she opened her mouth, my suspicions were proven right.

‘You’ve got a job where you have to wear big pointy ears and a hat till Christmas Eve. What happens after that? You need to get your life back, Alice; I know what happened to Jamie knocked you for six and that you didn’t plan on being back in Luna Bay, but you are and it’s time to start living again. What happened to the Breakfast Club at Sunflower Cottage you went to a few times? You seemed to really enjoy that. Maybe if—’

I held up a hand to stop her. ‘I haven’t had time to go to the Breakfast Club recently because of the job at Fox’s. I don’t know what’ll happen when it’s over, but I’ll figure it out. It’s not ideal and I hate the pointy ears, but it’s a job. As for my life, I’m happy the way I am, Mum. So please, stop worrying about me for five seconds.’

I reached over and squeezed her shoulder. ‘I’m fine, really. I know you think I’m an emotional wreck who stays in my cottage all day crying over Jamie, but I promise you I’m not.’

Mum smiled and patted my hand. ‘I’d just like to see you get out there a bit more, that’s all. Why don’t you at least think about helping out with the pantomime? You might not have to go on the stage; maybe they need people backstage to help with the make-up or costume changes?’

Realising I wouldn’t get any peace unless I said yes, I agreed to give it some thought. I had no intention of actually joining Christabel’s team of misfits, but promising to give it consideration was good enough for Mum. Luckily, before she could conscript me into any more of her hare-brained schemes, my phone rang.

‘Hello?’ I said.

‘Hi, Alice, it’s Gary from Fox’s. You couldn’t pick up an extra shift at the grotto today could you? Only one of our other elves phoned in sick.’

I felt my stomach drop to my shoes. The last thing I wanted to do was put on my garish outfit, pointy ears and massive shoes, and pretend to love Christmas on what should have been my day off. However, an out-of-work actress had to do what an out-of-work actress had to do.

I blew air out of my cheeks, screwed my eyes shut and reluctantly agreed. ‘No problem. When do you need me to come in?’

‘As soon as possible – we’re swamped today. Thanks, you’re the best!’

Hi-ho, hi-ho, it’s off to Lapland I go…

*

An hour later, I found myself in the heart of Fox’s department store, tinkling shoes and all. There were two extra-rosy pops of colour on my cheeks and a fake smile plastered to my face as I welcomed children to Santa’s grotto and wished them a merry Christmas.

Mum’s words rang in my ears: you need to get your life back, Alice; it’s time to start living again. My heart sank as I realised I didn’t know where to begin with getting my life back. Loneliness had become a way of life, a comfort blanket I’d wrapped myself in, and I wasn’t sure I even wanted to unravel it. Still, it was impossible not to notice all the happy couples milling round the department store, picking out presents for their nearest and dearest, and not feel a pang of remorse. Once upon a time, that had been me. I’d had someone to share my life with, to hold my hand and laugh with me.

Now here I was, all alone. If the time ever came that I met someone else, would I even know how to be with them? I was so used to being on my own that I’d all but forgotten what being part of a couple was like.

A hand on my shoulder brought me back to the present. It was Gary, the permanently harassed-looking manager of Fox’s department store. A thin film of sweat had formed on his brow already and he looked like he needed a good cup of tea and some Christmas cookies.

‘Alice, can I ask a favour?’ He was breathless and sounded like he’d just finished doing ten marathons back-to-back. ‘I’ve just had a look in the grotto and Frank’s running a bit low on presents. There are some more upstairs in my office; would you mind nipping up and getting some?’

‘Sure,’ I said with a smile.

I headed towards his office, glad of the opportunity to get off the shop floor for even a few minutes. As I walked, customers turned their heads to follow the sound of my jingling shoes.

‘Bloody things,’ I muttered. As a group of teenagers sniggered and pointed at me, I could’ve cheerfully shoved them where the sun didn’t shine.

Gary’s office was located up a set of metal steps at the back of the store. Its big glass windows allowed him to be king of all he surveyed, whilst also keeping him at a safe distance from the staff. Everybody knew he was afraid of them and would give into even the craziest demands. It felt a little surreal being in the manager’s office, like that somehow made me boss of the massive department store I’d found myself working in.

I jumped a little when I saw Mr Fox, the store’s owner, occupying the huge black leather executive chair. It was so unusual to see his tall, wiry frame around the shop; he hardly ever visited and when he did, it usually meant something bad was about to happen. He had his phone clamped to his ear and his face was set into a dark scowl. The conversation clearly wasn’t going well. I wanted to take a step forward and announce myself, but I didn’t want to intrude on his private phone call.

‘Ethan, when are you going to learn to…? This is your inheritance we’re talking about here; you need to start taking it seriously instead of prancing around with your head in the clouds… I won’t tell you again… Damn!’

Mr Fox hung up and slammed his mobile down on the table, letting out a grunt of frustration and a stream of expletives. As he blew air out from his cheeks, he swung the chair round in my direction and almost jumped out of his skin.

‘Sorry, I-I didn’t realise anyone was here.’ Two pops of colour bloomed on his cheeks and he flashed me a sheepish grin. ‘Can I help you with anything?’

I froze. My mouth moved up and down, making the shapes of words I wanted to say, but no sound came out. The longer it took for me to articulate myself, the redder my face became.

‘Um…I-I just came in to get some more presents for the grotto downstairs. A-are they over here?’ I gestured to some cardboard boxes in the corner.

‘Yes, yes, take as many as you like.’ Mr Fox waved a hand and picked up his mobile again. ‘Sorry…got to return this phone call…’

His voice drifted off as he dialled a number and waited for the person on the other end to answer. I heaved one box into my arms and beat as hasty a retreat as I could. The box weighed a ton; they’d obviously splashed the cash on the kids’ Christmas gifts.

‘Hello?’ I heard him say as I nudged the office door open with my foot. ‘Oh, Ethan’s in a meeting is he? Well, tell him to give his father a ring when he’s out of his meeting. If he can spare a few minutes, that is!’

I winced. Ethan was in some pretty hot water!

*

Making my way back downstairs was a dangerous business. I almost toppled over twice, thanks to the weight of the box. I had half a mind to ask Gary for danger money.

‘Here are some more presents for the kids,’ I said, heaving the box behind Frank’s red velvet throne. ‘Just so you don’t run out.’

‘Oh great,’ he slurred, ‘more crap to give to the ungrateful little shits!’

I suppressed a smile and pursed my lips. Luckily, we were experiencing a lull in visitors to the grotto, so nobody was around to hear him or see him with his beard pulled down.

I screwed my nose up as the acrid tang of stale sweat and alcohol stung my nostrils. ‘Are you…feeling OK today, Frank? You know, after yesterday.’

He turned to look at me and I noticed for the first time just how unkempt he looked. His eyes were bloodshot, like he hadn’t slept properly for weeks, and his chin was covered in grey and white stubble. Not exactly the image of a jolly department store Santa.

‘Oh I’m just dandy.’ His mouth twisted into a scowl and he let out a loud burp. ‘It’s the most wonderful time of the year, isn’t it?’

There was a sadness in his voice that struck me. Instead of being swept up in the festive spirit, he seemed to be every bit as uncomfortable with it as I was.

‘Well, that’s what they say!’ I plastered a bright grin to my face, determined to keep a cheerful atmosphere for the hordes of kids who’d be along as soon as school finished. ‘Anyway, don’t forget about the presents in the cardboard box behind you.’

I mumbled some excuse about Gary needing me elsewhere and legged it before Frank could engage me in any awkward conversation. As I stood outside, willing finishing time to come round so I could get back to my own little corner of Christmas-free bliss, I wondered what it was that made Frank hate this time of year so much.

Had he lost someone he loved too?

Chapter Three

I spent the rest of the day welcoming children to the grotto and pretending that Christmas really was the most wonderful time of the year. Like any good actress, I threw myself into my role and made it my job to spread festive magic to every little visitor who was counting the days until Santa’s arrival.

Until later that afternoon, when things went horribly wrong.

It started with a giggle. Innocent enough, you may think, but not when ‘MAISIE, PUT THAT DOWN!’ and Frank yelling at the top of his voice immediately followed it. I rushed inside the grotto to see what was going on and found a little girl holding what looked like a pair of edible knickers.

‘What kind of store is this?!’ a red-faced woman yelled. ‘Giving erotic products to little kids; you should be ashamed of yourselves!’

‘Oh my God, I’m so sorry,’ I gasped. ‘There must be some mistake; I’ll get another present for you.’

Before I could rush round to get a replacement gift, a voice from outside erupted ‘WHO THE HELL IS IN CHARGE HERE?!’

‘I’d better go and deal with that,’ I said, panic rising in my voice. ‘I’ll leave you in Fr… I mean, Santa’s capable hands.’ I turned to Frank, who was puce with rage. ‘Why don’t you get Maisie a lovely new gift while I go and see to that customer?’

I threw back the curtain, dreading what I was about to be confronted with. It turned out to be a woman with a face like thunder, trying to keep a small grubby child under control and trying to wrestle something from his sticky grip.

‘How can I help?’ I plastered on my sunniest smile and ignored the nerves brewing in my stomach.

From the furious look on her face, the woman didn’t appreciate my attempt at a pleasant greeting. In fact, she looked like she wanted to strangle me.

‘And just what…’ she paused for a second as she managed to snatch away whatever her child had been holding ‘…do you call this?!’

She brandished a pair of pink fluffy handcuffs, hooking them over one finger and tapping her foot impatiently as she waited for my explanation.

‘This is supposed to be a Santa’s grotto for kids, not a sordid sex shop! Where’s the manager? I want to put a complaint in!’

She was soon followed by another angry parent, who was keen to find out why her child had been given a cocktail-making kit instead of a colouring book.

My eyes darted from left to right as complaints and threats flooded in. One thing was for sure: there had been a huge mistake somewhere. And I was probably going to pay for it.

My suspicions were proved correct when Gary appeared and bellowed ‘ALICE, MY OFFICE NOW!’

*

It didn’t take long for the shit to hit the fan. I sat in the manager’s office, while Gary paced up and down like a bear with a sore head.

‘How the hell did this happen?!’ He pinched the bridge of his nose and glared at me. ‘I’ve had no less than twenty complaints from parents whose kids received what they called “inappropriate gifts”! Instead of selection boxes and packs of felt-tip pens, they got fluffy handcuffs, edible knickers and bottles of vodka! Do you have any idea how that makes us look?!’

I stifled a chuckle. Although Gary couldn’t see the funny side of it, there was something quite amusing about the whole mix-up.

‘To be fair, the boxes of presents weren’t labelled,’ I explained. ‘How was I supposed to know I’d picked up the sales girls’ Secret Santa box?’

The vein in Gary’s forehead grew larger and looked like it would pop any minute. He strode over to where I was sitting, his mouth set into a stern line and his eyes ablaze with anger.

‘We’re supposed to be a family-friendly store, Alice. I don’t think giving kids mini bottles of alcopop really gives the right impression, do you?’

A rogue giggle escaped from my mouth; from the look on his face, I thought Gary might spontaneously combust.

‘I’m sorry, really I am.’ Once I was sure I wouldn’t laugh again, I peeked up at him, daring to meet his gaze. ‘You have to admit, it was a little bit funny though. And we can give them replacement presents from the real box of gifts can’t we?’

Gary folded his arms and began pacing back and forth again. ‘It’s not quite as simple as that, I’m afraid. We were thinking of closing the grotto early anyway. The store isn’t making much money at the moment and we haven’t had the footfall we expected, but this screw-up was the final nail in the coffin…’

I winced at the word “coffin”, but tried not to show it. Even that simple word conjured up hundreds of memories I’d do anything to forget.

‘I’m sorry, Alice… I’m afraid you’re out of a job.’

My head snapped up and I felt my jaw drop. ‘Gary, please… I-I need this job! I know it’s only temporary, but I’ll be stuck without it. Is there any way I can stay? I-I’ll stack shelves, clean the toilets, anything!’

He shook his head gravely and ran a hand over his tired face. ‘I’m afraid not; we’re struggling to afford our Christmas temps as it is, so we’re looking to make any savings we can. Besides, I don’t think this was ever really your cup of tea was it? I mean, you were on bloody Broadway! I can’t imagine you found being a department store elf very exciting.’

I opened my mouth to disagree, but even I wasn’t that good of an actress. Instead, I sighed and got up from my seat; it was time for me to leave. Alice, exit stage right.

‘Thanks for the opportunity, Gary. And for the record, being an elf here was more than exciting,’ I added with a little chuckle.

He managed a smile as he escorted me down the stairs to the shop floor.

‘You never know,’ he said, ‘this could be a blessing in disguise; you could be lighting up the West End this time next month!’

‘I don’t think so…but thank you.’

I smiled and turned my back as I prepared to leave Fox’s department store for the final time. My shoes jingled and attracted everyone’s attention as I crossed the floor. I probably looked absolutely ridiculous, but I didn’t really care. As I took in the store’s various sights and smells and the beautiful items that lined its shelves, my heart sank. Although being an elf had been the job from hell, I would be really sad to not have a reason to visit Fox’s every day.

I was so engrossed in looking around my now former workplace that I didn’t notice someone coming through the revolving doors. With just a split second to spare, I managed to avoid a full-on collision by swerving out of the way. The man heading towards me was too distracted to notice; his phone was wedged between his ear and his shoulder as he hissed replies to whoever was on the other end. As he passed me, his shoulder bumped mine, knocking my bag to the floor.

‘Hey!’ I yelled, hoping to draw his attention to the fact he’d just bumped into me without saying sorry.

All I got for my trouble was a vague wave in my direction as he continued his argument and made his way towards the back of the store. My gaze followed his bottle-green tartan jacket and russet-brown hair until he disappeared from view. I hoped the person he was on the phone to was giving him hell.

Outside the store, I found Frank sitting in his stained and grubby Santa costume, minus his beard. His eyes were firmly fixed to the pavement and he was taking swigs from a bottle of whisky while picking at his once-white fluffy cuffs.

‘You too eh?’ He grunted out a hollow chuckle and patted the pavement next to him. ‘There’s room for a little’un if you fancy joining me?’

I paused for a second, unsure of what to do. The way I saw it, I had two choices: I could keep walking and stay in the little bubble of loneliness I’d carefully crafted over the last three years, or I could take a minute to talk to someone who was just as down on his luck as I was.

I chose the latter and crouched down next to Frank, who was just finishing off the remainder of his whisky.

‘Yup,’ I replied, ‘me too. Gary said the store isn’t making enough money or getting enough customers, so they were thinking of closing the grotto early anyway. I don’t think seeing little kids running round with pairs of edible knickers helped though!’

Frank let out a throaty laugh that was closely followed by a wheezing cough. He picked up his bottle, remembered he didn’t have any more and discarded it with a disappointed sigh.

‘Nope, probably not. Having a Santa who’s either drunk or hung-over probably didn’t create a very good impression either,’ he said with a sad smile. ‘So what’s next for you? We worked together for two whole weeks and I don’t think we even said two words to each other.’

I blushed as I realised I hadn’t been the most forthcoming of people to work with. I had my reasons, of course, but Frank wasn’t to know that.

‘I’m sorry,’ I said, ‘I tend to keep myself to myself these days. The last few years have been… Well they haven’t been easy. I’m not really sure what’s next for me. What about you?’

‘Back to doing what I was doing before, probably. Sitting in my flat with my best friends Jack and Daniels, passing the time away. What a life eh? Can’t you go back to what you were doing before?’

Lying in bed crying because I lost the man I love and life is shit without him? Yup, sounds good to me.

‘Not really,’ I admitted, ‘I don’t really want to go back to that.’

He put a hand on my shoulder and smiled. ‘You’ll find your way; people like you always do. It’s people like me who tend to slip through the cracks…’ He trailed off, as though he was lost in his own thoughts. ‘My own fault though. Anyway, you don’t want to be wasting your time talking to an old drunk like me. Go on, off you go.’

He waved a dismissive hand and picked up his empty whisky bottle again. Reluctantly, I took it as my cue to leave; I didn’t want Frank to be alone, but he’d made it clear he was happy with his own company.

‘Have a good Christmas,’ I said as I walked away. He raised his bottle in reply before pulling himself to his feet and stumbling off in the opposite direction.

I sighed as I watched him go; it seemed like the most wonderful time of the year was steadily growing worse.

Frank’s question stayed with me as I trudged off towards home: what’s next for you?

Knowing me, it’d be holing up in my little cottage and keeping the world at bay, like I always did. One thing was for certain: I’d be going nowhere near the Silver Bells Theatre or their bloody pantomime.

Absolutely not.

Chapter Four

Never one to mind her own business, Mum was quick to come up with lots of ideas for my newly acquired free time. She came over to my cottage that night, armed with suggestions and bags of her trademark enthusiasm.

‘Now that you’re back out there, you can come to all my groups with me! There’s pottery on Mondays; bums, tums and thighs on Wednesdays; and bingo on Thursdays. You’d love the bingo, Alice; it’s great fun.’

‘By “back out there”, do you mean I’m not an emotional wreck who can’t stop crying any more?’ I smiled lightly, but the memories were all too real. It wasn’t so long ago that I’d been wrapped up in my duvet and surrounded by tissues, empty ice cream tubs and photos of Jamie.

Mum became flustered, thinking she’d offended me, and began to babble. ‘No, darling, I just—’

I put up a hand to stop her. She really did treat me like I was made of glass sometimes.

‘I’m just kidding, Mum! Count me out of the bingo though; that’s a bit too hardcore for me,’ I said with a wink.

‘Well, what about getting involved with the pantomime then? I overheard Christabel saying they’re short of performers and backstage crew. With you on board, they might be able to pull off a successful show!’

I rolled my eyes and groaned. ‘For the last time, no! When Jamie died, I swore I’d never go back on the stage again and that’s final. Let them screw up their own production; I’m sure they don’t need any help from me.’

Mum shot up from the chair and grabbed her handbag and cardigan. ‘You know, it was really hard for your dad and me to watch you crumble after Jamie died. When you came back from New York, we didn’t know if you were ever going to be the same again. I know you might think I’m interfering, but I’m your mum and I just want what’s best for you.’

‘Mum, I’m—’

‘But when you started going to the B&B’s Breakfast Club, I thought you might finally be ready to join the world again. Even more so when you took the job at Fox’s: I thought you might start to build up your network of friends again. But you’re still keeping everyone at arm’s length aren’t you? You can’t hide yourself away for ever, Alice; Jamie wouldn’t want you to do that.’

At the mention of his name, something inside me snapped. The day had been stressful enough without bringing Jamie into it.

‘Oh so I’m disappointing him as well as you, am I? Good, that’s great to know. I’m not “hiding myself away” either; I happen to like my own company! I might not be out gallivanting every weekend or doing six shows a week in the West End, but believe it or not I like my life. It might not be what I planned, but it’s how things have turned out, OK?’

Mum’s shoulders fell and the anger melted away from her face. ‘What happened to you? You used to have such big dreams; you’d never have settled for “how things have turned out”. Whenever life threw something unexpected at you, you’d find a way to overcome it or turn it to something positive. I’d really like to see that Alice again; that was my girl.’

I was sure I could hear her voice wobble and see tears spill down her face, but she sharply jerked her head away so I couldn’t see. She mumbled a goodbye and ran out the door, sprinting down the hill as fast as her tiny little frame would carry her.

Hot salty tears pricked my eyes and ran down my cheeks before I could stop them. I hated the thought of disappointing my mum, especially after everything she’d done for me. The idea that Jamie would be disappointed in me too, however, stung more than I cared to admit. Although I knew my life wasn’t exactly fizzing with excitement and a new adventure round every corner, I’d still thought I was doing pretty well. I’d dragged myself from the depths of despair and could now call myself a mostly functioning adult of twenty-seven. I had my own cottage that I loved, occasionally ventured out to the Sunflower Cottage Breakfast Club, and had even dipped my toe back into the world of work.