Christmas for the Halfpenny Orphans

‘Stop it, Sarah,’ her sister was pleading. The blanket and sheets had been stripped from Sarah’s bed and were lying on the floor in a heap. Tilly had changed the sheets only that morning; now they were crumpled and it looked as if one of them had been torn. ‘Don’t upset yourself like this …’

‘Want go home,’ Sarah wailed. ‘Don’t like it here. Pipe gone, Pa gone – Sarah want go home …’

‘We can’t go back,’ Samantha said, trying to catch her sister in her arms, but she pulled away and started to scream again. ‘Stop it, Sarah, or they might send us away and we’ve nowhere else to go – please.’

‘What is the matter?’ Wendy asked. Samantha turned to look at her, and for a moment there was resentment in her eyes – and was that a faint trace of fear?

‘Sarah’s pinafore dress has gone and Pa’s pipe was in the pocket. She loves that pipe because it was his. Now she won’t stop crying. She’s never like this …’

‘Oh, I am sorry,’ Wendy said. ‘Look in your locker, Sarah love. I took your pinafore so I could wash it for you – I’ll bring it back as soon as it’s ironed. The pipe is in your locker …’

Sarah looked at her blankly, but Samantha rushed to the small cupboard at the side of her sister’s bed and opened it. She saw the pipe lying on top of a pile of clean knickers and socks and picked it up, offering it to Sarah, who snatched it out of her hand and held it to her cheek, which was still damp from her tears.

‘Pa’s pipe come back, Pa come back,’ she said, and looked hopefully at her sister as if trying to make her understand. She sat on the edge of the bed, the broken pipe clutched to her cheek as she crooned the song no one but she could understand.

‘Oh, Sarah,’ Samantha said, wiping the tears from her cheeks with her hanky. ‘Don’t cry. Pa won’t come back; he doesn’t care about us, he never did – I’m so sorry …’

‘I’m sorry I touched your pipe,’ Wendy said, sitting down on the bed and looking at the sisters. ‘I didn’t mean to hurt you, Sarah. I know that it means a lot to you and I wouldn’t throw it away. You must keep it safe with you all the time.’

‘Pa loves his pipe,’ Sarah said. ‘Pa come back for pipe?’

‘No, dearest,’ Samantha told her, putting an arm around her thin shoulders. ‘The pipe is broken. Pa doesn’t want it any more – and he doesn’t want us. Aunt Jane won’t have us both and no one else will. We have to stop here where we’re safe.’

Sarah looked at her. Her song had stopped and she seemed to be weighing up what her sister had told her. ‘Pa not come back for pipe? Not come back for Samantha and Sarah?’

‘No, never,’ Samantha said. ‘He went to sea and left us to fend for ourselves. We couldn’t get any money and we nearly starved, Sarah. Remember how cold and hungry we were before we came here? We have to stay here where it’s warm and they feed us.’

Sarah stared at her in silence for a moment, and then a heart-rending wail rose from deep inside her and she hurled the clay pipe against the wall. It shattered into pieces and fell on the floor.

‘Oh, Sarah – your pipe!’ Wendy rushed to gather up the bowl and one piece of the stem that hadn’t shattered, bringing them back to the sobbing child but she refused to take them, shaking her head furiously. ‘Don’t you want it? I’ll put it in your locker, shall I?’ She bent down to place the two pieces in the locker but Sarah swooped on them and hurled them at the wall, and this time the bowl shattered into small pieces.

‘Hate pipe, hate Pa,’ Sarah cried and then turned her back on Wendy.

Samantha tried to put her arms around her, but she shrugged her off and jumped up, then ran towards the door. Samantha stood indecisively until Wendy asked if she ought to go after her sister.

‘Sarah has to learn that we can’t go back,’ Samantha said, and there were tears on her cheeks now. ‘Pa doesn’t want us, miss; he never did. When we were born it killed our mother – Sarah was the last and our mother wasn’t strong enough. My aunt says Pa will never forgive us …’

Suddenly she was in Wendy’s arms, sobbing out her story, telling her how they’d hidden from their father after he tried to kill Sarah in his fury over the broken pipe.

‘Surely he wouldn’t have meant to harm her?’ Wendy said, shocked.

Samantha drew back, looking at her with the eyes of a child that knew too much.

‘Yes, he would, Nurse. He always hated her. It wasn’t too bad when we were little; we had a lady called Melanie who came in and looked after us. She wasn’t kind to us, but we were clean and we had food – and Pa didn’t hit us. Then one day she got cross with Sarah and hit her, so I shouted at her and told her she was wicked. When Melanie slapped my face, Sarah kicked her ankles for hurting me. So Melanie left. She told Pa she wouldn’t stay in a place with evil children.’

‘Oh, Samantha, I’m so sorry.’ As the weeping girl buried her face in Wendy’s uniform, arms wrapped tightly round her waist, the nurse stroked the girl’s soft hair, encouraging her to let all the misery come pouring out of Samantha. It was as if the floodgates had opened and she couldn’t hold it inside any longer. Her eyes looked enormous in her pale face, dark with anguish and remembered pain.

‘I didn’t mind that she’d gone, but Pa was angry and gave Sarah a good hiding for upsetting her. After that, he didn’t ask anyone to come in, so I cooked what food he brought home and I did my best to look after Sarah … but she breaks things. She doesn’t mean to – they just seem to slip through her fingers. Pa said she was a Child of Satan and threatened to put her away in a place for lunatics. Aunt Jane said that was where she’d put her too, but she’d take me in. Then I woke up and Pa was kicking Sarah, and when we ran away and hid, he went off and left us.’ Samantha paused to draw breath before continuing: ‘He took all the food and money and Mum’s valuables, and there was only rubbish left and the man from the scrapyard wouldn’t even buy the pans I took him – but he gave me five shillin’s for lettin’ him touch my chest.’ Samantha looked up defiantly. ‘I took his money and then kicked his shins and ran off. I took Sarah and we hid in a bombed-out house down by the docks …’

‘Good for you,’ Wendy said, and gave her a hug. ‘In your shoes, I’d have done the same. But now you’re safe here and your aunt will visit you—’

‘Don’t want to see her!’ Samantha drew back in alarm. ‘She’ll put Sarah in one of those awful places!’

‘No, she won’t. I promise you, Sister Beatrice wouldn’t let her do that and neither would Angela or any of us. You belong to us now, Samantha. You’re safe here with us and we’ll take care of you both. Sarah may have to attend a special school – that will be for Sister to decide – but I’m sure that she will keep you both here.’

‘Sarah can do simple sums and things, if I show her,’ Samantha said. ‘She can help with cooking or laying tables, if I tell her what to do – and she can draw people’s faces really well. She isn’t daft.’

‘No, she certainly isn’t. I’m going to tell Miss Angela what you’ve told me; she will talk to Sister and decide what to do. They won’t let anyone take you from us, Samantha. When I tell Angela the whole story, she will be on your side. Now, I think you’d better see if you can find Sarah, love. It’s raining outside and, although it isn’t cold, we don’t want her getting a chill.’

TEN

Alice got the surprise of her life when she unlocked the door of her flat and went in that evening. She smelled the cigarette smoke first and her nerves prickled. Had one of the Lee gang broken into her home?

‘Is that you, Alice?’ Bob’s voice came from the bedroom and then he strolled into the hall wearing his army trousers with braces and no shirt. His hair looked wet and she thought he’d been having a shower. He’d had one put in the bath, as he preferred a shower. ‘Good, I’m glad you’re home. I hope you haven’t been working? I thought we’d agreed you were going to take care of yourself for a bit longer?’

‘Bob!’ Alice felt a surge of emotion as she saw the anxious look on his face. It was obvious how much he cared for her, and yet she’d spent the afternoon wishing she was on the train to Southend! ‘I went to help out with the teas at a charity event for the home. It was only for a couple of hours – I didn’t do too much, I promise. It was nice seeing all my friends.’ Her cheeks turned pink as she spoke, for the letter from Jack had stirred up old feelings and she still felt torn.

‘That’s all right then. How have you been?’

‘I’ve been fine.’ She rushed over to give him a hug to cover her guilt. He gave her a quick hug back and then released her. ‘I didn’t expect you back today, Bob. How long have you got?’

‘Three days. I shouldn’t have been due for leave yet, but my mate wants next weekend off and so I swapped with him at the last minute. I didn’t send a telegram because I thought it might put the wind up you.’

‘It would have,’ she admitted. ‘I’ve only got a bit of yellow fish for tea – or we could get pie and chips from the shop, if you’d rather, then have the fish in the morning with some bread.’

‘I don’t go much on that sort of stuff,’ Bob told her. ‘You have it tomorrow, Alice. I’ll take you out this evening – we’ll have steak and kidney pie at that pub we went to last time I was home. They always do a good meal there.’

‘Yes, all right,’ Alice agreed. In truth she was exhausted after helping with the teas, even though it had been fun and all the St Saviour’s girls had made a fuss of Susie, picking her up when she cried and spoiling her, but Alice wasn’t about to tell Bob that she would rather stay at home. ‘I’ll make us a cup of tea and then get changed.’

‘No, you go and put your feet up for a minute,’ Bob said. ‘I’ll make us a cuppa and then you can take your time getting ready. Mave said she’ll be over in an hour to take care of Susie for us.’

As he disappeared into the kitchen, Alice lifted Susie out of her pram and hugged the sleeping baby to her. It was a good thing that Bob had come back unexpectedly, she thought. All the way home Alice had been wondering if it was too late to catch the train to Southend – and now she was glad that she wouldn’t have to think about it any more. She’d had a timely reminder that she was married to a decent man and would be a fool to throw it all away for a rogue like Jack Shaw.

Alice was aware of being watched as she and Bob ate their meal in the pub. The atmosphere was a bit smoky but that didn’t stop her enjoying the tasty food and the glass of lemonade shandy she’d had with it. Bob had offered her the usual port and lemon, but Alice thought she might be better off sticking to a weak shandy, with more lemonade than beer.

‘Only until the baby’s weaned,’ she told him with a smile. ‘I don’t want her to be a drunkard, do I?’

She was enjoying the unexpected treat and didn’t particularly notice the man staring at them until Bob had finished his plum tart and custard. She touched him with her foot under the table and he looked startled.

‘We’re being watched,’ she said. ‘He’s sitting to your right – in the corner – and he’s been staring at us for a while.’

‘Perhaps he’s envying me my lovely wife,’ Bob quipped before glancing over his shoulder. The smile was gone from his face as he turned back to her. ‘I know him – he’s one of Butcher Lee’s henchmen. Let him look, Alice, we’re not doing any harm and nor is he – but if he follows us home I’ll tackle him.’

‘He or someone like him has been following me for weeks, ever since you were home last time.’

Bob frowned. ‘You didn’t tell me. Why didn’t you write and tell me, Alice?’

‘I try to ignore them. I know why they follow me – in case I meet Jack Shaw.’

‘How’re you supposed to do that – he’s dead …’ His eyes narrowed intently. ‘Alice, what’s going on? Don’t tell me he’s alive?’ She inclined her head slightly and he frowned. ‘Bloody hell! How do you know – have you seen him?’

‘No. I wouldn’t,’ Alice said, but her cheeks were warm because she knew how close she’d come to taking that train. ‘It’s over, Bob. He let me down and I’m with you now.’

‘I can’t stop you if you want to go to him, Alice, but—’

‘I wouldn’t go, Bob. Even if I knew where to find him.’

Bob leaned towards her, taking her hand where it rested on the table. ‘You’ve heard from him, haven’t you?’

Alice hesitated, and then nodded. ‘He sent me two pounds and asked me to meet him today – but I went to the jumble sale instead.’

‘What about the money?’

‘It’s in the drawer at home. I didn’t know what to do with it. I’d send it back, only I don’t have an address for him. I certainly don’t want it.’

‘Are you sure?’

‘Yes …’ Alice met his eyes, seeing the hurt and the fear – fear that she would leave him, and suddenly she felt wretched for even entertaining the thought. ‘I did love him once, Bob, but I never trusted him. You’ve been good to me and I wouldn’t hurt you for the world. I do care for you, you must know I do – and I trust you to look after me and the child.’

‘Good,’ he said and smiled. ‘You leave the Lee gang to me, Alice. I’ll have a word with someone I know and he’ll warn them off. I don’t want them bothering you again.’

‘Be careful, Bob.’ Alice felt a flicker of fear. ‘I don’t want you to be hurt.’

He grinned at her. ‘I’ll be careful – as careful as I need to be. I’ve told you before; I can take care of myself.’

Alice couldn’t bring herself to remind him of the speeding car that had knocked him down earlier that year. She’d since been told that the attempt on his life had been intended as a warning to her not to step out of line, but she couldn’t let Bob know or he might do something reckless.

Alice glanced at the table where the watcher had been sitting and saw he’d gone. She told Bob and he laughed, taking out his wallet to settle the bill.

‘He must have known what I was saying,’ Bob said. ‘I’ll make sure they stay away from you, love – you must keep ignoring them and I’ll do the rest.’

Alice didn’t answer. Being shadowed hadn’t scared her, but the thought of what the Lee gang would do to them both if Bob tried to stand up to them made her blood run cold. Bob thought he could take care of himself – and perhaps he could in a fair fight – but the Lee gang didn’t believe in fighting fair. They’d set the boot factory on fire to get even with Arthur and Jack for taking something that belonged to them – it didn’t bear thinking about what they would do to Jack if they ever caught up with him.

Alice lingered as she browsed the stalls in Spitalfields. The covered market, situated off the busy Commercial Street, was open seven days a week and in all weathers. Almost everything you could want was available here, from fruit and vegetables to cheese and fish, long rolls of cloth and remnants, boots, books, second-hand goods of every description, cheap Indian rugs, umbrellas, handbags, and fresh flowers. The scent of lilies wafting from the flower stalls was so overpowering, Alice began to feel a headache coming on. As if that wasn’t enough, Susie had woken up in her pram and was beginning to whimper. Alice put a dummy in the baby’s mouth and rocked the pram. She would be glad to get home, because right now she was cold and tired and desperate for a cup of tea.

Alice had bought some terry towelling, which she planned to make into more nappies for Susie, and now she was ready to buy the fruit she would take with her to Michelle’s house when she went for her sewing lesson. She was disappointed to see there were no bananas this week; it had been so nice to see them back after seven years without, but they were still thin on the ground. Fortunately there were some lovely big black grapes on offer, so Alice decided to buy a bag of those instead. She paid her money and was turning to leave when a young lad came up to her. He grabbed her arm, giving her an odd look.

‘I reckon you dropped this,’ he said, and pressed something into her hand. Alice was about to say that it wasn’t hers when she realised it was a note of some kind. The lad winked at her and went off, disappearing into the crowds.

Alice glanced at it and realised it was a note from Jack. She hesitated, knowing that she should throw it away, but instead she put it into her pocket, too cold and fed up to look at it now. She was tired and her head was throbbing as she made her way quickly to the tram stop. Moments later a tram arrived and she got on, grateful to the conductor who lifted the pram on for her, folding it and tucking it in the luggage rack under the steps to the upper deck. Alice cradled Susie in the crook of her arm as she fumbled for her purse to pay her fare. Susie would be ready for her feed when she got home and then Alice would be able to put her feet up and relax with a nice hot cup of tea. Except it was hard to relax when she thought about the letter in her pocket. Jack obviously wasn’t about to give up on her, but Alice had made up her mind – she wasn’t going to fetch that stuff for him however many letters he sent her …

ELEVEN

‘Angela, I want to talk to you about the new children …’ Sister Beatrice said, entering her office as she was typing up the monthly report. ‘I know they’re with Mary Ellen and Marion in their new dorm now and I’d like you to bring me up to date with the situation. I’m not sure about—’ Sister gasped and clutched at her side suddenly. ‘Oh – I must sit down for a moment …’

‘What’s wrong, Sister? Are you in pain?’ Angela asked, immediately concerned by the sight of the older woman’s pale face and obvious distress. ‘What can I do for you? Please let me help you …’

‘I’ll be all right in a moment. Please do not fuss,’ Sister said through gritted teeth, gesturing for Angela to sit back down. ‘It comes and goes – ahhh …’ she went quiet and sank into a chair, clearly shaken by the ferocity of the pain. ‘I’ve never known it to be this bad …’ she gasped and clutched at herself again.

For a moment Angela was so shocked that she couldn’t think. Sister Beatrice wasn’t the sort to get ill; she was strong and stubborn and never allowed a child to bother her, but perhaps the strain of all that trouble with Terry had pulled her down … yet that was months ago and this was more than strain. She could see by the colour of Sister’s face and the way she was holding her breath that the pain was bad.

‘I’m going to call the doctor,’ Angela said, reaching for her telephone.

‘You’re over-reacting,’ Sister Beatrice’s tone was angry. ‘I’ll be all right soon I tell you.’ She stood up and took two steps forward, then tottered and fell to the ground, where she lay writhing and moaning in agony.

Angela knew it must be something serious to make Sister collapse in this way. The onset of pain had seemed sudden and unexpected, but then she remembered the Warden’s irritability of late and her habit of hiding her emotions and anything else she considered signs of weakness. It was quite possible that she had been suffering for weeks without telling anyone.

Angela rang immediately for Dr Kent and told him what had happened. ‘I’ll be there as soon as I can,’ he said. ‘In the meantime call one of the nurses to look at her – but don’t try to move her on your own unless she is able to get up herself.’

‘I’m going to get a nurse,’ Angela said, bending over Sister Beatrice briefly. ‘Please don’t try to do anything. We’ll help you to get up when I come back.’

Running swiftly down the hall to the sick room, she discovered that both Wendy and Michelle were there, discussing the patients’ notes. Michelle came towards her instantly, alerted by Angela’s urgent manner.

‘It’s Sister; she’s ill,’ Angela said. ‘I’ve rung for the doctor but it’s going to take him a while to get here.’

‘I’ll come,’ Michelle said. ‘I’ve been worried about her for a while. I thought she might simply be tired but, knowing Sister, she’s probably been hiding something.’

‘Yes; she would think it weak to give in,’ Angela agreed.

Michelle rushed on ahead of her. As Angela entered her office she discovered that Sister had managed to get to her feet in her absence and Michelle was helping her into the armchair provided for visitors. Sister’s face was grey and she looked very ill. She had her eyes closed and was holding her side, obviously in agony.

‘What’s wrong with her?’ Angela hovered as Michelle took Sister’s pulse and touched her forehead, which was sticky with sweat.

‘I’m not sure, but I think from the position of the pain it may be appendicitis,’ she said, looking anxiously at Sister. ‘How long have you been having these pains, Sister?’

‘A few weeks,’ Sister said weakly. ‘It wasn’t so bad at first and it always went after a while but now … it’s getting much worse.’

‘We’ve sent for the doctor,’ Michelle said, ‘but if it is acute appendicitis you will need an operation.’

‘I shall be all right, I tell you. All this fuss …’ Sister gasped and could not continue for a moment. ‘I can’t leave St Saviour’s. Who will look after things here?’

‘Angela and the nurses and the carers,’ Michelle answered before Angela could speak. ‘We shall take care of things while you’re away, Sister – but you have no choice. If I’m right and it bursts – you could die.’

Sister Beatrice looked at her. The truth was in her eyes, for she knew it as well as her staff nurse. If the inflamed appendix ruptured she could be in very serious trouble. She turned her head suddenly to be violently sick on the floor. Angela rushed to give her a handkerchief and offered a glass of water, which she accepted, looking sheepish.

‘I’m so sorry.’

‘Please don’t worry. I will soon clear it up. Michelle, do you think she would be more comfortable in the sick bay?’

‘No, I don’t want anyone else to see me this way – the children mustn’t be upset,’ Sister said, a note of authority in her voice. ‘I must get home and rest. I shall be all right in a while …’ Yet even as she spoke, she clutched at her right side again.

‘The doctor will be here shortly and you’re not going anywhere but hospital,’ Michelle insisted. ‘Angela, could you go down and ask one of the girls to come up and clear this up? I should like a couple of minutes alone with Sister.’

‘Very well; I’ll get a cloth and bucket. No need to let anyone else know about this,’ Angela said and went out.

She had reached the bottom of the stairs when Dr Kent rushed in, looking anxious. Stopping to explain what had happened, Angela directed him back to her office and then went off again in search of warm water and a mop. By the time she returned to her office, Dr Kent was very much in charge of the situation. He had opened his bag and was giving Sister an injection.

‘This is a mild sedative to ease the pain,’ he told her. ‘I’ve rung for an ambulance and it will be here shortly. I shall telephone the hospital and let them know to prepare for an emergency operation. Acute appendicitis is very serious, Sister. You must know what could happen if there should be a rupture – I’m surprised you didn’t seek medical advice before this.’

‘I could not neglect my duty. Besides, it suddenly became much worse.’

‘Yes, that is what happens if you neglect the warnings. It can come on very suddenly in its severest form.’

‘You must see I cannot desert the children …’

‘Nonsense! No one is irreplaceable,’ he said firmly and Angela saw Sister’s face twist as if he had added fuel to the flames. ‘Your staff will manage perfectly well until you can take up your place here again – something you won’t do if you’re dead. No more arguments. I believe we may be in time to prevent the worst happening, thanks to the prompt actions of your assistant.’

Sister nodded but didn’t answer. She was looking at Angela, an unspoken appeal in her eyes.

‘We shall manage until you return,’ Angela promised. ‘I will visit as soon as you’re well enough – and you can give me your instructions then.’

They both knew she did not need Sister’s instructions, but it was all she could think of to comfort her. Although they did not always see eye to eye where the running of the home was concerned, Angela respected Sister Beatrice’s devotion to the children.