Heart At Risk

“Kurt, what’s organ harvesting?” Scotty asked.

Kurt switched off the tube. “Prior to dying, Scotty, many people indicate that they want their organs donated to others who are in need of them.”

“Like what?” Scotty asked.

“There’s a multitude of things, pal. Hearts, lungs, kidneys, livers. All sorts of things. Even skin.”

“Wow! You mean you can take something from someone’s body and put it in somebody else’s?”

“Well, it’s a pretty tricky procedure but yes, you can and it saves thousands of people’s lives.”

“Kids’ lives, too.”

“Sure. Babies born with damaged heart valves and things like that. It’s amazing. Of course, there has to be a lot of things in play to make it successful. The donor would have to have been in good health—most likely died from an accident. Then the organ has to be removed when the donor is legally brain dead, but still has a functioning heart and lungs. In other words, the organs would be useless if removed after there ceased to be oxygen being transported to those areas.”

Scotty frowned. “If a person’s dead, how can that happen?”

“Machines, Scotty. A person’s brain can be mush, but machines can keep them alive to remove these organs and such in time. And a person doesn’t have to be dead to donate an organ. Many people legally donate organs to family members and others in need in order to save their lives. Kidneys and bone marrow are good examples of what a healthy person can donate without dying to do so.”

“What about arms and legs. If a person was dying could you donate them, too?”

“I don’t think so, Scotty. At least I’ve never heard of it. I’ve heard of reattaching fingers and hands, but they were the victim’s to begin with.”

“Maybe someday the doctors will figure out how to do that, too, then no one would have to use a wheelchair or a pro…”

“Prosthesis,” Kurt said. He tousled the young boy’s hair. “Yeah, maybe someday.”

He liked this kid. He had never had much to do with children before, but it was almost as if he and Scotty had bonded on sight.

Unfortunately the same could not be said about him and Maddie. The woman seemed to dislike him on sight. So maybe he was a bit on the wild side when they were in school. How long can she carry a grudge? That was ten years ago—so let it go, lady!

Later Kurt sat down to have dinner with the Bennetts. He couldn’t remember sitting down as a family with anyone since he was young. Sure he and the squad had eaten countless meals together, but this was the first time it was a regular family meal with women and a child. Mike and Dave had only gotten married within the last year, and the rest of the guys were single.

He had to say he enjoyed it. Homemade fried chicken, mashed potatoes and gravy, fresh Wisconsin corn on the cob. It all tasted different than in a restaurant. Either these two women were the best cooks in the world, or it just felt good to be a normal guy sitting around at a dinner table.

Besides, the company was great. Aunt Beth was a charming conversationalist, Maddie was quiet but good to look at, and the kid was a joy. It made Kurt begin to think about what he’d been missing all these years.

“Mom,” Scotty suddenly asked, “if I would have died this morning, would you have donated my organs to kids who need them?”

The startling question clearly caught her off guard, and Maddie’s fork clunked against the plate as it slipped through her fingers. “What?”

“I’ve decided that when I die I want my organs donated to help other kids who need them.”

Still startled, Maddie asked, “Scotty, where did you get such an idea?”

“Kurt and I were watching the television and they were talking about it.”

Oh, oh, Kurt thought, hang on to your head, Bolen, I think the ax is about to fall.

“Scotty, I’ve told you it’s disrespectful for a child to address an adult by a first name.”

Kurt came to the boy’s defense. “It’s my fault, Maddie, I told him he could.”

She turned a disapproving gaze on him. “That may be so, Mr. Bolen, but my son knows my wishes on the subject.”

“I personally have no objection to it.”

“And I’m also very selective about Scotty’s television viewing, Mr. Bolen.”

For God’s sake! The woman was chastising him as if he were a two-year-old. “It was a news channel, Maddie.”

“Good gracious, Maddie, I’m sure no harm was done,” Beth said. “And I think Scotty’s consideration for those less fortunate is very admirable.”

“That’s not the point, Aunt Beth. It’s a very unpleasant subject and I doubt Scotty understands it.”

“I do, too,” Scotty said. “Kurt explained it to me. Mom, do you know that in some countries there are bad guys who steal the organs from innocent people? And in China they remove organs from executed bad guys and then sell them.”

Maddie paled, but forced a smile. “I think we should change the subject. And in the future, Scotty, if you have any questions about organs and such bring them to me and don’t bother our guests with them.”

“Yes, Mom,” Scotty said, hanging his head.

Kurt was pissed. If Maddie was so hung up on what was proper and improper, why lecture the poor kid in front of a stranger, instead of waiting until she and Scotty were alone? But he bit his tongue to keep from saying what was on his mind. There was no sense in expressing his opinion to this uptight female. She only made him aware that he didn’t really belong.

Which was true. So what in hell was he doing here anyway?

Kurt stood up. “Ladies, thank you for dinner. It was delicious, and I can’t remember the last time I had a home-cooked meal. But I think it’ll be best if I leave now.”

“Oh, Kurt, I wish you would spend the night,” Beth said. “You should rest that leg, and it’s a long drive back to Milwaukee.”

“I’ve imposed on your hospitality enough. Thank you for everything.”

Scotty pushed back his chair and ran sobbing up the stairs.

Hell, now he would have to face the kid to get his pack out of the bedroom. What a mess!

“Would you care for coffee and dessert before you leave?” Beth asked.

“No, thank you. I think I should get going before it gets too late.”

Beth got up and began to carry dishes into the kitchen.

“I’m sorry, Mr. Bolen,” Maddie said.

“Feel free to call me Kurt. I think you’re old enough.”

“I guess I deserve that. Do you mind stepping outside? I’d like to talk to you for a few minutes.”

They moved outside and sat down on a swing on the front porch. “I know you think I’m very rude, and I apologize,” she said. “When I heard about Scotty’s accident I fell apart, and however I may appear to you, I want you to know I’m deeply grateful. I shall always be.”

This was worse than an award ceremony with some stuffy navy commander pinning a purple heart or silver star on him.

“Look, Maddie, it’s over. Let it go. I did what any guy would have done.”

“I don’t want you to leave with the impression I’m ungrateful.”

“Fine. I believe you. So I’ll be going—”

“You think I’m wrong, don’t you?” she suddenly blurted out.

“Chill out, lady. I’m leaving.” His unexpected response caught her off guard and once again those green eyes widened with surprise.

“You don’t understand,” she said.

“You’ve got that right. You always this uptight?”

She drew a deep quivering breath as if it were her last one. “It’s just that all this has been very upsetting to me.”

“Well, like I said, it’s over. Scotty’s fine. So let it go. There’ll be other things you’ll have to deal with while he’s growing up. You can’t protect him from everything in life. There’s no way you can keep him from stumbling and falling sometimes. Just hope it’s not into another quarry,” he said, in an attempt to lighten the conversation.

“So you don’t agree with the way I’m raising Scotty.”

“Doesn’t matter what I think.”

“Would you believe me if I told you it does.”

“Frankly no, Maddie. So don’t try to tell me you give a good goddamn what someone like me thinks.”

She looked him straight in the eye. “You’re wrong. You have no idea how wrong you are.”

Kurt stood up to leave. “I’m not into this kind of scene, so I’ll get my pack and get out of here.”

“Kurt, you don’t understand. I’m not trying to be sarcastic. Your opinion is important to me.”

He looked at her a moment then flopped down again, jarring the swing. “Lady, you asked. In the short time I’ve been here, I have the impression you’re an uptight female too set in your ways. You’re smothering the kid. Once in a while it wouldn’t hurt to let Scotty make some of his own choices. Chips on his television, so he won’t watch what you don’t want him to. Ever think of trusting the kid? Putting him on his honor? Let him make the choice of the path he’ll take?”

“He’s only nine years old. I don’t believe he’s old enough to make the right choices.”

“You’ll never know until you let him try.”

She appeared to be struggling with her thoughts and he knew he had no right to express his opinions. But dammit, she had rubbed him wrong with her officious attitude at dinner.

“Maddie, I know I was pretty wild as a kid, so I’m a poor example to be giving lectures on child rearing, but maybe Scotty and I have the same problem. Neither of us had a father figure to emulate. My dad was the town drunk and I was embarrassed and ashamed of his actions. Scotty’s being raised by two women in a manless household. He needs some positive masculine influence in his life the same way that I did. How much contact does he have with his father?”

“None.”

“What? His dad lives right here in Vandergriff and Scotty has no contact with him! Is that your idea or his father’s?”

“Who told you Scotty’s father lives here?”

“Beth mentioned it earlier.”

“Well, it’s not true. Beth doesn’t know who Scotty’s father is. Nobody does but me.” She drew a deep breath. “I’ve never married nor told anyone the name of the man who fathered him.”

You sure have been blindsided, Bolen! Want to try that pass again?

Chapter 4

Never married! The last thing Kurt expected to hear. He’d figured Maddie merely used her maiden name professionally like a lot of women did today.

A thought popped into his head. Had the guy she was waiting for last night on Poorman’s Peak fathered Scotty? Some bastard who had knocked her up then went home to his wife, kids and happy home? That could be why she was still single. She’d probably been having a running affair with the guy for the past ten years. He felt the rise of anger. And who ultimately pays the price—the kid!

Not your problem, Bolen, so move on.

He threw up his hands in defeat. “I’ve really heard more than I care to. This is none of my business.”

He figured that was as good an exit line as any. So it was time to exit stage right. “Nice seeing you again, Maddie. Take care of Scotty. He’s a great kid.”

Maddie had struggled with how she should handle the issue of Kurt Bolen. Her initial knee-jerk reaction when he had suddenly appeared in Vandergriff had been one of panic—the possibility that he would disrupt her world. She had gone as far as demonizing him to justify this fear. And then this same man had saved Scotty’s life.

For the past nine years she’d been justified in raising Scotty without revealing the identity of his father—she’d had no idea whether Kurt Bolen was alive or dead. But now that he was here, even though he had no intention of remaining, was it fair to let him leave without telling him he had a son?

And if God had brought Kurt back for a reason, she had to face that reality and consider Scotty’s needs—not her own, not Kurt Bolen’s—but Scotty’s.

She’d be blind if she didn’t see how much her son worshipped this man already. Was it jealousy on her part to even struggle with the issue? Fear that she no longer would be the center of Scotty’s devotion. Of course not. Scotty worshipped Aunt Beth, too. And besides, Scotty had so much love in his young heart, it was only natural for him to reach out to Kurt.

If only she knew more about Kurt. What he’d been up to in the past ten years. Married? Divorced? Other children?

There she was at it again. She wasn’t the omnipotent being in the issue. It wasn’t her decision. A power much greater than she had made the decision—and she had to have the faith to trust the outcome.

“Kurt, wait. Are you religious at all?”

“Enough to believe that whatever choices you make along the way will not change your destiny, whether you die young from an infected hangnail or in old age from senility.”

She looked at him a moment then sighed. “Before you leave there’s something I must tell you.”

“Maddie, I don’t want to know. I’ve heard all I want to hear. I’m just an ex-schoolmate passing through town. I’m not interested in hearing your family secrets, much less where the bodies are buried.”

Maddie hesitated. He was giving her the excuse to ease her conscience if she let him leave without telling him. Then, once again, she reminded herself that this wasn’t about her interests or Kurt’s; this was about what was good for Scotty.

Maddie took a deep breath. “I think you might be interested in what I have to say. Kurt, you’re Scotty’s father.”

Too stunned to speak, Kurt stared at her until he found his voice. “What in hell are you trying to pull, lady? Is this some kind of con to put a squeeze on me?”

“No, it’s not. I just thought you should know. Please feel free to leave.”

“You’re damn right I’m leaving.”

Kurt spun on his heel and headed back inside to get his pack. He got as far as the third step, then hesitated and came back.

“Why me? That story might have worked with other men, but I’ve never laid a hand on you, so why try it with me?”

“Kurt, I said you were free to leave. I struggled with telling you the truth from the time you showed up here. Now that I have, my conscience is clear and if you don’t choose to believe me, at least I did put it out on the table.”

“That must have been one hell of a struggle since it took you ten years to tell me.”

“And how would I have done so sooner, when I had no idea where to find you?”

“I don’t know why I’m even pursuing this argument. But for a starter, when I left town Joey knew I headed to Milwaukee to enlist in the navy.”

“By the time I realized I was pregnant, Joey had left here himself. I didn’t tell anyone the name of Scotty’s father.”

“You still could have tracked me down through the government. I wasn’t in hiding.”

Her eyes flashed angrily. “And if I had nothing better to do with my excessive wealth, I suppose I could have run a personal ad in every newspaper in the country, too—Kurt Bolen, all is forgiven. Come home and meet your son.”

“You’ve got a good sell there, lady, but I’m not buying.”

“Well, thank you again, for saving my son. I’m indebted to you for giving him to me ten years ago—and again today. Now, if you’ll excuse me.” She started to pass him, but his hand on her arm prevented her.

“Oh, you’re good, baby. You’re good! If I didn’t know better, I’d start believing you myself. Why would you even try such a ridiculous scheme, when we both know nothing ever happened?”

“It happened,” she said, and brushed aside his hand and opened the screen door.

“Like when? The world’s already had one immaculate conception and I don’t frequent sperm banks.”

She turned her head, and her look was withering. “Try ten years ago, Kurt, on the night of our graduation.”

The screen door slammed behind her.

Kurt followed her into the house. “What about the night of graduation?”

Maddie cast a stricken look at Beth. “I’ve said all I prefer to on the subject.”

“Is that right? Well tough, lady. You don’t drop a bombshell like this and then walk away. I want answers.”

“It appears the two of you have an issue to resolve, so if you don’t mind finishing the dishes, Maddie, I’ll go to my room,” Beth said. “Thank you again, Kurt, for what you did this morning, and if I don’t see you again, good luck in the future.”

“I’m not going anywhere,” he said.

“You said you were leaving,” Maddie accused.

For a long moment their determined gazes clashed, then Kurt looked at Beth. “That is if you have no objection, Beth.”

“Of course not. I’ll break the good news to Scotty.” She hurried away.

“I knew it would be a mistake to tell you about Scotty,” Maddie said, and began to put away the dishes.

“What do you expect? You opened this can of worms. Why wouldn’t I want answers?”

“What difference does it make now? It happened ten years ago.”

“If I’m to believe you, the difference is upstairs in his bedroom.”

Frustrated, Maddie dropped a glass and it splintered. She bent down to pick up the pieces and in her haste she cut her finger. It began to bleed.

Kurt rushed over and turned on the faucet. “Get your finger under this cold water. Where’s the disinfectant?”

“In the cabinet in the powder room.”

“Keep your finger under that cold water until I get back.”

He returned shortly with the tin of bandages and a bottle of disinfectant. “Let me take a look.”

His hand was warm and incredibly gentle as he patted the finger dry with tissue and checked the cut. His nearness and the warmth of his touch gave an incredible sense of comfort—and an unexpected excitement.

It had been ten years since Maddie had been this aware of a man’s touch—especially a man she’d been physically attracted to. And Lord knows, Kurt Bolen was physically attractive. Now, more than ever. She could well imagine the trail of broken hearts that followed him.

Don’t even go there, Maddie.

She felt foolish as he sprayed on disinfectant. “I’m fine.”

“Just the same, let’s get a bandage on it to keep it clean.”

He has beautiful hands, she thought as he pressed the gauze strip around the cut. Gentle, yet firm and comforting. His fingers were long and tan, the nails clipped and clean.

And his nearness still generated the same excitement she’d always felt around him. So close she could feel the heat of his body—yet so out of reach as if miles separated them.

Lord, Maddie, the man is a threat to life as you know it, so get over schoolgirl romanticizing.

He moved instinctively to the closet and came back with a broom and dustpan in hand. Within minutes he’d disposed of the shattered glass.

At least the accident had dissolved her anger and appeared to have done the same to his.

“Do you suppose we can sit down and discuss this situation like two sensible adults, Maddie?”

She chuckled. “If we’d done that ten years ago, we wouldn’t be having this conversation. There’s still some coffee left, are you interested?”

Kurt shook his head. “I could use a beer.”

“Sorry, we don’t have any.”

He shoved back his chair and stood up. “Then how about a ride? I’m beginning to feel the walls closing in on me.”

There was no traffic on the road, and the soft hum of the car and occasional chatter of starlings were the only sounds that invaded the quiet summer night.

Her life had become ludicrous. Nothing was normal anymore. How could she be sitting beside Kurt Bolen in the intimacy of a car, driving down the same road as if there hadn’t been a lapse of ten years?

“How’s your leg feeling?” she finally asked, breaking the silence between them.

“Fine. The pills killed the pain.”

“Are you bothered often?”

“No. The leg rarely bothers me anymore.”

“I didn’t mean your leg. I meant your edginess, the feeling of being confined, the walls closing in on you that you spoke of earlier.”

“Is this your 101 Shrink class, Professor?”

“You’re right. It’s none of my business.”

He drew a deep breath. “I’m sorry. Truth is I wouldn’t last a week in a 9 to 5 office job if that’s what you mean.”

Whether by intention or not, they’d ended up at Poorman’s Peak. He parked and turned off the engine.

“Aunt Beth said you told her you work for the government. What bureau?” she asked.

“I’m not here to talk about myself, Maddie. I want to know why you accused me of fathering Scotty.”

“Kurt, let me make myself clear from the start. As far as Scotty goes, I’m not asking anything from you regarding responsibility or child support. I only told you what I did to clear my conscience.”

“Drop all the bull and tell me why you accuse me of being Scotty’s father when I never laid a hand on you.”

It was obvious he was fighting to quell his irritation, so she took a deep breath and for the second time in as many evenings, Maddie relived the events of that long ago evening, avoiding only the embarrassing confession of the secret feelings she’d had for him at the time.

As she spoke, Kurt watched the changing expressions on her face. She was either the world’s best actress or was telling him the truth—because he believed her. This was the nagging thing he hadn’t been able to remember about her earlier. Fleeting images began to flicker in and out of his mind.

“I remember waking up the next morning in front of my shanty. So you drove me home that night.”

“It was either that or leave you up here all night. You’d passed out and could have been charged with a DUI.”

“So here’s where Scotty was conceived.” He glanced below at Stoneville. “Thank God you got him out of there, Maddie.”

Kurt turned on the car and pulled out. He had a lot to think about—a lot of decisions to make. Maddie must have realized this, and was quiet on the ride back.

“I have to go back to the hospital tomorrow to get checked out, but then I’m coming back to work out some arrangement with you,” Kurt said when they reached the house.

Don’t panic. Stay calm, she warned herself. “Kurt, I meant what I said. I don’t need or want your help. I’ve gotten along thus far without it. If you simply keep me informed of an address where you can be reached in the event of an emergency, there would be no reason for you to remain.”

“I think that’s not entirely your decision to make. Since I’ve just discovered I have a son, I’d like to spend some time with him. Maybe you should pass that question by Scotty, and see what he thinks.”

So this was the start of his interference—the very reason she had hesitated to tell him. “I beg you, Kurt, please don’t tell Scotty the truth until we work this out. He’s the one who can be hurt by it all.”

“What did you tell him about his father?”

“I told him his father left before he even knew I was going to have a baby.”

“Well, thank you for that. At least you didn’t make me sound like a child deserter.”

“I did it so that Scotty would never think his father left because of him. I understand children often do so when their parents split up.”

Maddie got out of the car and went into the house. As soon as Kurt locked the door behind them, she said goodnight and headed up the stairs.

“And, Maddie,” Kurt said behind her, “I think Scotty should call me Kurt—unless you prefer Dad.”

Chapter 5

Kurt followed Maddie up the stairs a short time later, but sleep was out of the question for him. A man doesn’t find out he has a son and simply lie down and go to sleep. He stared at the sleeping boy in the other bed, and his heart swelled with tenderness. Scotty was a great kid, and he deserved a better father than Kurt could ever be. But he sure as hell was going to try and make up for a lot of lost years.

He had no idea how Scotty would react when they told the boy Kurt was his father. Trouble was, it was clear Maddie would bode no interference on his part, so who was going to be the biggest problem—the mother or the son?

He figured he’d go back to Milwaukee in the morning, get his final checkup, and then come back and spend the rest of his leave in Vandergriff. Dave Cassidy was a lawyer, and once Kurt and Maddie settled on an arrangement, he’d have Dave draw up a new will. In the event the squad had to go on another mission, he wanted to be certain Scotty and Maddie were his beneficiaries.