Protector's Instinct

“Dr. Trumpold fooled us all,” the captain reminded him. “Including that Omega Sector agent who came here to help us.”

Zane just shrugged. “Jon Hatton did everything he could.” But in this case, being part of an elite law enforcement agency like Omega hadn’t been enough, either.

“And,” the captain continued, “if I recall correctly, if you hadn’t followed your instincts and gone after Hatton and Sherry Mitchell, Trumpold would’ve killed them both. That it was your bullet that put a stop to him.”

Yes, Zane had stopped Trumpold. And hadn’t lost a bit of sleep when he’d died in prison a year ago.

But that still didn’t change one simple fact: Caroline Gill had opened the door to a rapist because she’d thought the knock on her door was Zane. Because Zane was supposed to be with her that night.

But he’d changed his mind at the last minute, wanting for once to have the upper hand in their tumultuous relationship. Stayed away as part of the head games the two of them played with each other all the time.

He would regret that decision for the rest of his life.

“If it had happened to someone else, you wouldn’t blame them, Zane,” Captain Harris continued. “Why are you holding yourself to a different standard?”

“It’s not about standards. It’s about my instincts. I can’t trust mine anymore. And I won’t put anybody else at risk.”

“Zane, you need to—”

Harris stopped talking as the door to the bar opened and they both—engrained law enforcement instincts kicking in—looked toward it.

Caroline.

Zane hadn’t seen her in a few months. They’d run into each other at a restaurant, a totally awkward exchange where they’d both been on dates, and their dates had both known Zane and Caroline used to be together. They’d said uncomfortable hellos and then spent the rest of the night trying not to notice each other.

Now Zane stared at her from where he sat, as always almost physically incapable of not looking at her. Taking in her long brown hair, pulled back in a braid like it so often was. The curve of her trim body filling out the jeans and fitted sweater she wore. His body responded, as it always had, wholly aware of her anytime she was around, in a completely carnal way.

What sort of pervert did that make him? Looking at Caroline—a rape survivor—with blatant sexuality all but coursing through him?

Just reinforced his decision to get out of law enforcement altogether. His instincts weren’t to be trusted.

He knew the exact second she saw him, the slight hesitation in her step, but her gaze didn’t falter. She didn’t smile at him, but then again, he didn’t expect her to.

Of course, he had to admit, even before the attack she hadn’t always smiled at him. That was how their relationship had been: fire or ice. Never anything in between.

A friend called out to Caroline and she broke eye contact with him and headed in the caller’s direction. Zane felt oddly bereft without the connection with Caroline.

He should’ve never come here in the first place.

He was about to ask for and pay the bill when Wade and Raymond came back over to sit with him and Captain Harris again. Raymond ordered them all another round before Zane could stop him.

“What happened to your lady friends?” Captain Harris asked.

“Married,” Wade and Raymond both said at the same time, crestfallen.

“I might go talk to Kimmie.” Raymond took a sip of the beer the bartender handed him.

Wade rolled his eyes. “Hasn’t she shut you down enough times already?”

“Yeah, but she looks happier now. Especially since Caroline’s here.” Both men looked over at Zane as if they’d said something wrong.

“I wasn’t going to hit on Caroline, man,” Raymond was quick to announce.

He damn well better not.

Of course, Zane had no say over who Caroline dated. Although she better not go out with a horndog like Raymond Stone.

Zane shrugged. “Caroline can go out with whoever she wants.” He forced his jaw not to lock up as he said it and carefully kept his fists unclenched. “Does she come in here a lot?”

Damn it. Zane wished he could cut off his own tongue. Why was he asking about her? But no one seemed to make anything of his interest.

“Not as much as we would like,” Wade said. “I know Kimmie, her partner, invites her all the time.”

“Kimmie’s her partner? How long?”

“Awhile now,” Captain Harris answered this time. “I talked it over with the hospital staff and we thought Kimmie would be a good professional fit for Caroline.”

“What sort of professional fit?” Maybe Kimmie had some sort of specialized training Caroline didn’t have. But she looked awfully young for that to be the case.

Harris fidgeted just a little in his seat before looking away.

“What?” Zane asked. “Did Caroline need help? This Kimmie have training or something Caroline doesn’t?”

Captain Harris shook his head. “No. Kimmie was pretty much brand-new. Anything she’s learned outside schooling, Caroline has taught her.”

That didn’t surprise Zane. Caroline was stellar at her job as a paramedic. Could spot potential problems or injuries others would miss. Kept her head in a crisis. Had a way about her that kept people calm.

“So what was it about Kimmie that was a good fit for Caroline?”

Wade and Raymond glanced over at the captain, who was looking away. Then it hit Zane.

“Oh, Kimmie’s a woman. That’s why she was a good fit for Caroline. I guess nobody could blame her for asking for a female partner.”

Now all three men refused to look at Zane.

Not all his detective skills had left him. “But she didn’t ask for a female partner, did she? You just assigned her one.”

Captain Harris pointed toward where Caroline and Kimmie sat, obviously easy and friendly with each other. “I’ve known Caro since she was born. Her parents are some of my best friends. So I did what I thought was right for her. She and Kimmie are a good team. It wasn’t the wrong choice.”

But it hadn’t been Caroline’s choice. And he would bet she hadn’t liked it, no matter how chummy she and her new partner looked now. If Zane had been there, he would definitely have spoken up, at least told Captain Harris to talk to Caroline about it.

But he hadn’t been there, had he? Zane grimaced.

“I’m glad they get along,” he muttered.

He saw Caroline glance over at them before quickly looking away and taking a casual sip of the beer the waitress had brought. She was just as aware of him as he was of her, although he doubted her awareness of him stemmed from attraction. Disgust at best, possibly even hatred.

So they both ignored each other, which everyone in the entire bar seemed completely aware of.

“I’m glad Caroline is finally going on a vacation,” Wade said, trying to break some of the obvious tension. “She deserves it.”

That was good news. “Where is she going?” Corpus Christi was a beach town and she’d always loved it. Did she still after what had happened? She used to live near the beach but had moved after the attack. Nobody in their right mind blamed her after someone had broken through her front door and viciously attacked her. Zane didn’t know if she still even liked the beach at all.

Wade looked like he didn’t want to answer. “How hard a question is it, Wade?” he asked the younger man, smiling. “A cruise? Tropical island? The mountains?”

Oh, hell, maybe she was going with another man. Maybe that was what Wade didn’t want to answer.

“Who is she going with?” Zane could feel his jaw clench but couldn’t seem to stop it.

He knew he had absolutely no right to be upset if she was going with another man somewhere. It was good—healthy—for Caroline to have other relationships. Someone important enough for her to move on with, to go on vacation with.

That was why he’d stayed out of her life for so long, right? So she would have a chance to move on, to put the past—including him and his part in her nightmare—behind her?

But damned if his hands didn’t clench into fists as he waited for Wade’s answer. As he prepared himself to hear the news that she really had moved on. That he had officially missed his chance.

“Just say it, Wade.”

“She’s not going with anybody, Zane. That’s her whole deal. She said she wants time to be alone. Get away from the frantic pace for a week.”

Zane refused to acknowledge the relief that poured through him at the knowledge Caroline hadn’t found a man she was comfortable enough to vacation with.

He turned to Wade, rolling his eyes. “Why are you jerking my chain? I don’t blame her for wanting peace and quiet. I guess that means she’s not going to visit her family in Dallas. It’s never peaceful around them.”

Wade shrugged. “Nah, she’s going hiking at Big Bend. She’ll get plenty of quiet there.”

Zane set the glass of beer that was halfway to his mouth back down on the bar. “She’s going hiking in Big Bend Ranch State Park?” One of the largest parks in Texas, covering over three hundred square miles. Breathtaking views, multiple types of terrain. A hiker’s dream.

Wade nodded. “Yeah.”

“Alone?”

“Yeah, but she’s been planning it for months. She’s got a GPS that will let the park rangers know where she is at all times and has a course all planned out. She’s super excited about it.”

Wade continued to talk about how prepared Caroline was, how thrilled, but Zane tuned him out. He stood up. “Excuse me.”

He turned and strode toward Caroline’s table with definite purpose. There was no way in hell she was going on a weeklong camping trip by herself. Obviously none of her colleagues or friends were willing to tell her how stupid an idea this was.

Zane had no such problem.

Chapter Three

Her body was aware of Zane. She’d been conscious of him the entire time they’d been here, ignoring each other while totally mindful of each other’s every move. They’d always been like that. Whether they’d been about to kill each other or fall into each other’s arms, they’d always been attuned to one another.

She was attuned to him now. Aware of how damn virile and sexy he was. Not working for the Corpus Christi Police Department hadn’t turned him soft or dimmed the edge of danger that had always surrounded him.

It drew her, just like it always had.

Damn him. Because the only thing that matched her passion for Zane Wales was her fury toward him. She’d like him to come over so she could slap him across his perfectly chiseled cheek.

And as if he could hear her and was going to call her bluff, he stood up and began walking toward her table.

“Holy cow, who is that?” Kimmie asked. “The guy that was talking to Captain Harris.”

Caroline didn’t say anything. But Kimmie’s friend Bridget, sitting across from them in the booth, spun her head to the side so she could get a look at the eye candy.

“Ohhh.” Bridget’s eyes flew to Caroline. “That’s Zane Wales. He’s Caroline’s.”

Kimmie’s face swung around to look at Caroline, shock evident in the wide circles of her eyes. “What?”

Caroline shook her head, her own eyes rolling at Bridget’s remark. “He’s not mine.”

“Are you sure about that?” Kimmie looked back at Zane. “He sure is looking at you like he’s coming for you.”

“We used to date back in the day. It’s been over for a long time.” Zane had made sure of that.

Although she had to admit, it did look like he was coming directly to their table. But it most certainly would not be to talk to her. He’d gone out of his way to avoid her for the past eighteen months.

But five seconds later he stood right in front of their table, looking ridiculously sexy in his jeans and dark blue, long-sleeved collared shirt with sleeves he’d rolled up halfway to the elbow. November in Corpus Christi wasn’t cold enough for a jacket.

He wasn’t wearing his hat—that damned white cowboy hat he’d worn all the time. He was a Texan through and through and wearing it had been as natural to him as breathing.

He’d taken it off when he’d quit the force and she hadn’t seen him in it since. Not that she’d seen him much at all.

He didn’t need the hat. He wasn’t hiding anything but thick, gorgeous hair underneath it. But Caroline missed him in it. Missed what its presence had stood for.

“Hey, Zane,” Bridget purred. Caroline resisted the urge to slap her. Barely.

“Hey, ladies.”

Caroline didn’t know why Zane was at their table, but on the off chance it was to ask Bridget or Kimmie out, she couldn’t stick around and watch.

“Excuse me.” Caroline started to stand. “I’ve got to get going, you guys.”

“Actually, I’m here to talk to you, if you don’t mind,” Zane said. He was looking directly at her now, closer than he’d been in nearly two years. She slid back into her seat, unable to draw her eyes away from his.

“Um, Bridget and I have to use the restroom anyway,” Kimmie said, standing and grabbing the other woman’s arm before she could protest.

Zane nodded at them as they left, then slid into the booth across from Caroline.

“Hi.”

Of all the things she’d been expecting tonight, Zane coming over to chat with her hadn’t been one of the possibilities. He’d withdrawn from her so completely over the past months that a conversation hadn’t even been on her radar.

“What are you doing here?”

As far as greetings, it wasn’t concise or friendly, but hell, nothing about Zane made her feel concise or friendly.

“I had some errands to run in town and thought I would grab a bite to eat.”

He deliberately wasn’t answering the question he knew she was asking. “Yeah, it looked like you were pretty close to done when I arrived.”

He nodded and eased himself a little farther back in the booth, raising one arm up along the edge and knocking his knuckles gently along the column behind him. Damn the man and his comfortably sexy pose.

And damn sexy wrists exposed by his rolled-up sleeves. How could she have such a reaction from wrists, for heaven’s sake?

“I wanted to talk to you,” he finally said.

Her eyes flew to his face at that, in time for her to see his gaze slide over to his fingers that were still tapping against the column.

So whatever it was he wanted to say, he wasn’t exactly comfortable with it.

“Spill it, Wales. Just say what you came to say.” She honestly had no idea what it was. Her heart fluttered slightly in her chest that maybe he wanted to apologize for being so distant. For pulling away from her when she’d needed him. For keeping himself away.

Not that she’d forgive him and just let it go. Too much time and pain had occurred. But at least it would be a start.

His arm came down from the back of the booth and he leaned forward, placing his weight on both elbows. She couldn’t break her gaze from his brown eyes even if she wanted to.

“Caro...”

Now she almost closed her eyes. How long had it been since she’d heard him call her by her pet name? The name he’d called her when they were alone. The name he’d called her when they were making love.

Unbidden, she felt herself leaning closer, desperate for his next words. It didn’t have to be an apology; she knew the attack had cost him almost as much as it had cost her, although in a different way. Just some sort of acknowledgment that something had to change.

He cleared his throat, then continued. “You can’t go on that hiking trip. Alone? That’s absolutely stupid.”

It took her a second to process his words. To realize what she’d hoped to hear from him wasn’t anywhere near what was coming out of his mouth.

The pain reeled through her and stole her breath. Zane wasn’t here to tell her they should be together; he was here to tell her she was stupid. She wrapped her arms around her middle, almost afraid she would fly apart if she didn’t.

She looked away from him now, not even able to look him in the eye. She was an idiot. Why would she think anything had changed?

“Did you hear me, Caroline? I really don’t think this solo hiking trip is a good idea.”

Did she hear him?

Did she hear him?

Fury crashed over her like a tidal wave, obviating the pain. It was all she could do to stay in her seat.

“Do I hear you, Zane?”

He had the good grace to look alarmed at her quiet, even tone. At least he still knew her well enough to know when she was about to blow a gasket.

“Caro...”

“Oh, no, you don’t. Don’t you dare call me that.” The anger felt good, washed away the slicing pain of being wrong about him again. “You don’t get to call me anything with any affection ever again.”

Her words hurt him, she could tell, before he shut down all trace of emotion on his features. Good. She was glad she had hurt him. Glad she still could.

“Fine,” he said. “I don’t have to call you any friendly name to tell you that going hiking by yourself in the middle of the wilderness is just plain stupid.”

Caroline looked over at the waitress who was walking by. “I need the check, please.”

“I need mine too,” Zane muttered.

The woman looked back and forth between them, a little concerned, before nodding. “Sure. I’ll be right back.”

“Where I choose to take my vacation is none of your concern, Zane.”

“It is when no one is willing to tell you how risky and stupid it is.”

Her eyes narrowed. “Really? How much do you know about my plans, exactly?”

“I know you’re going hiking alone in Big Bend. That’s enough.”

Caroline clenched her fists by her legs and forced herself to breathe in through her mouth and out through her nose. She would not get in a screaming match with Zane Wales in the middle of a bar.

Unable to look at him without giving him the full force of her opinion—loudly—she surveyed the bar. Just about everyone was watching them, waiting for the fireworks. It wouldn’t be the first time they’d provided a colorful show. But it had been a long time.

“You don’t know anything about my plans, Wales. You don’t know anything about my life. Remember?”

“You say that like me getting out of your life wasn’t the best thing for you.”

She just stared at him. “Seriously?”

“And regardless, this plan of yours—” he said the phrase with such derision her eyes narrowed and she felt her temper rising to a boiling point “—is ridiculous. You can’t do it.”

Oh. No. He. Didn’t.

The waitress brought them both their checks and Caroline counted it one of her greatest accomplishments that she didn’t say anything at all. She just got out a twenty-dollar bill, threw it down on the table and stood, not caring that she was tipping the waitress almost as much as the bill itself.

She felt every eye on her as she turned and walked out the door. She didn’t care and definitely wasn’t afraid to go back to her house now. She was too damn pissed.

She made it to her truck before she heard him.

“You can’t seriously be going on this trip.”

She didn’t turn around. “You know what, Zane? You don’t know anything about it.”

“I know it’s dangerous.”

Now that they didn’t have an audience, she didn’t even try to keep her volume in check. “No, you’re making a snap judgment that it’s dangerous because you don’t know all the facts.”

“Then tell me all the facts.”

Now she turned around. “I’m not stupid. And believe me, I have no desire to put myself at risk. I have taken precautions to make myself as safe as possible.”

What was more, she needed this. Had talked extensively to Grace Parker about this time by herself. The psychiatrist had agreed that, with the right precautions for her personal safety, it was a good idea.

She would’ve told Zane all of this already if he’d been around. If he’d been a part of her life. But he hadn’t been. So by damn, he did not get to have a say in her decisions.

“You know what? Just forget it.” She spun back toward her truck.

“Hey, I’m not done talking to you.”

“I don’t give a damn if you’re done with me or not. Have you thought of that? Maybe I’m done with you this time.”

He strode directly to her. “What do you mean, this time?”

His nearness didn’t bother her. Zane’s nearness had never bothered her. This entire shouting match—so much like old times—was so freeing in a lot of ways.

“You bailed on me eighteen months ago, Zane. You don’t get to have a say in anything I do anymore.”

His volume rose with hers. “I didn’t bail on you. I knew me being around you would be a constant reminder of the worst day of your entire life. So I tried to do the noble thing and get out of your way.”

“Noble?” She all but spat the word, poking him in the chest. “You were too much of a coward to fight for us, so you ran.”

“This discussion is not about the last year and a half. This discussion is about your asinine plan to go hiking for a week by yourself.”

“Why do you think you get to have a say in what I do, Zane?”

She got right up in his face and shouted the words.

God, it felt so good to yell. To have someone yell back. To not have someone treat her with kid gloves like she was going to break any minute.

“You don’t, Zane,” she continued, poking him in the chest with her finger again as she said it.

His eyes flared as he wrapped his hand around her finger against his chest.

And then, before either of them realized what was happening, he yanked her to him and kissed her.

Caroline had been kissed since the rape. She’d even had sex with a couple guys since. But they hadn’t been Zane. Hadn’t been who, deep inside, she truly wanted.

And it sure as hell hadn’t been a kiss like this.

Zane’s lips were like coming home. His arms banded around her waist and hers slid up his chest and around his neck.

That hair. Thick and brown. She thought of how many times she’d flicked off his hat and ran her fingers all the way through it as he kissed her. Exactly like she was doing now.

He devoured her mouth and she couldn’t get enough of it, pulling him closer with fists full of his hair, moaning as his fingers bit into her hips in his urgency to get her closer.

He backed her up until she was against her truck, then grabbed her by the hips and hoisted her up to the engine’s hood. Now she could wrap both her arms and her legs around him.

Passion simmered through her blood as his lips nipped down her jaw to her neck. Not gentle, not timid. Just Zane. Fierce and passionate, the way lovemaking had always been for them. She moaned as one of his hands came up and fisted into her hair, holding her so he had better access to what he wanted.

Her.

And she couldn’t get enough of it.

Dimly she was aware that they were still in the parking lot of the Silver Eagle. That any minute her colleagues, law enforcement officers who generally tended to frown on sex in public places, were going to make their way out.

This needed to be taken back to her place. Or his. Or a hotel room.

Stat.

“Zane, we’ve got to stop.”

She sighed at another one of his nipping kisses, at the feel of him pulling her closer. She’d missed this so much.

But damn it, she didn’t want to get arrested.

“Zane, stop.”

She gripped some of his hair and gave it a tug.

She could tell the exact moment he came back to his senses. His hands dropped from her hair and he all but jumped back from her body.

But it wasn’t until she saw his face that she understood. He was ashen. Distraught.

“Zane—” She reached for him, but he moved farther back.

“Oh, my God. Caroline, I’m so sorry. I don’t know what came over me, I—”

She jumped down from the hood of her truck, desperate to wipe the distressed look off his face. Zane hadn’t done anything wrong. He’d done everything right and she wanted more.

But at that moment Wade yelled from the open door of the bar. “Hey, Captain sent me out here to make sure the two of you hadn’t killed each other.”