Accidental Dad

They fought their way through the icy wind racing across the parkade to his truck.

“I should have said it before. I’m so sorry about Jake.”

“I know.” For a moment, steady, organized Sam looked utterly bereft.

In that instant Kelly noticed the few silver hairs in his sideburns and the tiny fan of lines around his green eyes that hadn’t been there when she’d last seen him. Ten years ago Sam had been a very handsome man, and time hadn’t changed that. But grief had stolen what she’d privately labeled his “cowboy” smile, a lopsided twist of his lips she’d never seen copied. Still, Kelly thought she saw a hint of it now in his soft smile.

“Inside the truck, Kelly,” he insisted. “Don’t think I can’t see that you’re freezing in that coat.”

She climbed inside gratefully, huddling in her jacket while trying to hide just how chilled she felt. Sam slammed her door shut, hurried around to the other side and got in the driver’s seat. Though he’d started the truck remotely, it hadn’t yet warmed. The chill, combined with her apprehension at the upcoming meeting with her mother, made Kelly frown.

Sam studied her as if trying to read her mind. “Is something wrong?”

“No.” She forced a smile. “I was wondering how long the ride will take.”

“I forgot you’ve never been to the Triple D. Forty-five minutes or so. Mom will be feeding the kids lunch soon, and then Jacob Samuel will go down for his nap.” His voice dropped as he drove out of the city. “I hope she gets a chance to relax and enjoy a cup of coffee.”

“She’s not well?” Kelly asked, barely remembering Jake’s parents as a cheerful couple at Marina’s wedding.

“She’s worn out from caring for Dad and the twins and Jacob Samuel,” he said, a deep fondness lacing his words. “Mom tries to do everything.”

“I guess that’s who you take after.” Kelly grinned at his dour look then frowned. “Surely my mom’s helping her?” She realized how silly that was the moment she said it. Her mother had never been particularly fond of children. “You said she and my dad are living at the ranch?”

“My parents are at my place. Yours are at Marina and Jake’s. They were visiting when—” He didn’t finish that. “Your mother is pretty much tied down with your dad. With his memory failing more frequently, he needs someone around all the time.” Sam paused and glanced at her then said in a quiet voice, “I should warn you—he may not recognize you.”

“The disease has progressed that far?” Sam’s solemn nod made her catch her breath.

“Thank you for coming to get me,” she said, finally grasping the extent of his responsibilities. “I’m sure it was a nuisance for you to drive all the way in to Calgary then back.”

“I had to,” Sam said with a smile, and when Kelly arched a questioning eyebrow, he replied, “You’re part of the family. We need you with us.”

So few words and yet they meant so much to her. Part of the family. Somewhere inside her, the words fanned long-buried embers of wanting to belong into a tiny flame. Could she finally belong?

Until she had to leave.

When Sam said, “Tell me what you were doing in Rome, Kelly,” she suddenly remembered his solemn words to her on the patio the night of the wedding.

Someday, Kelly, I am going to see the birthplace of the Olympic Games. I will go to England and walk around Stonehenge. I’ll stand and gaze at the fjords of Norway. I’ll visit the hill in Turkey where the Apostle John is said to have taken Mary to live out her last days. I am going. It’s just a matter of when.

She wondered if he’d ever managed to see any of them.

“Were you scouting out new places for tours?” he asked.

“Sort of. When I return from this leave, I’m to be transferred. I hope to Indonesia. I was going to go there next week...” She let the words die away when a grimness flickered across his face at her mention of the future.

“What exactly does a port consultant do?” he asked.

“What I do is become so familiar with our ship’s ports of call that when a guest asks me about one of them, I’m able to recommend ways for them to see as much of the place as possible in their limited time. Or I suggest places that are a bit off the beaten track or that feature a particular interest of theirs. Whatever I can do to make their trip more memorable, that’s what I am there for.”

“Sounds like a calling,” he said, tossing her a smile.

“That’s how I feel about it.” She shrugged. “Always have. When I started, I made it a point to intimately know each port where the ship docked, even though my first tour was to Alaska, and lots of the guests had been there before. I wanted to be able to direct any passenger who asked me for help. Mostly, they came back raving about the places I’d suggested they see. That got back to my superiors, and I received promotions. So I kept doing it.”

“The night of the wedding—you talked a lot about traveling then,” he said.

“I remember you did, too.” She’d often replayed their conversation from the summer night they’d sat under the stars while everyone else danced at Jake and Marina’s wedding. The strength of Sam’s long-cherished dream to see the world, his clear, focused determination, still stuck in her mind.

As they rolled down the highway, Kelly blushed, remembering how natural it had seemed to share confidences on that perfect night. After Sam had revealed his soul-deep longing to travel, she’d blurted out her own painful story of meeting the man she was certain God meant for her, only to have him fall for someone else. Sam, being Sam, had comforted her, assuring her that God had someone special in mind for her. She’d felt so privileged to be in his confidence that night. Now she wondered if Sam had ever confided the depth of his desire to travel to anyone else.

She’d garnered from Marina’s emails that Sam had postponed his plans to travel on at least four occasions “for the good of the family.” As far as Kelly knew, he’d never left the ranch. Probably never would, now that he was responsible for it. Her heart bumped with affection. Dependable, loyal Sam, who willingly gave up his dreams for the ones he loved.

They drove in silence for a while. Kelly absorbed the beauty of the area where her sister had lived, immediately attracted to the gently sloping hills that grew to snow-capped mountains in the distance. Thick stands of evergreens dotted the snowy landscape. Here and there cattle stood in pastures near massive bales of hay. Then the truck crested a hill, and a quaint little town spread before them.

“This is Buffalo Gap,” Sam told her as they drove through the community. “That’s the church where—” He paused, gulped. “Where Marina and Jake attended,” he finally managed.

Kelly wondered at his angry look.

“About five thousand people live here. Not a big place, but it has most everything we need,” he continued after a moment’s pause. “Not far now to the Triple D.”

They passed through Buffalo Gap, then at the top of another hill Sam turned left onto a gravel road and drove past several homes on either side. Then he turned right.

“Here we are.” Sam drove under a big black metal arch with Triple D scripted above it. He grinned at her, obviously happy to be home, as a dimple appeared in one cheek. “We made good time.”

Kelly checked her watch. The watch Marina had given her as a bridesmaid’s gift.

Tears welled, and of course Sam wanted to know why. When she told him, he held out his own wrist and told her the watch he wore had been Jake’s gift to him.

“They were quite a pair, our twins,” he mused quietly.

“They were.” Kelly blinked hard, forcing away her tears to concentrate on the upcoming meeting with her parents and Marina’s kids.

Sam pulled up in front of a big white house with lattice work around the eaves. Two lopsided snowmen dotted the front yard. Kelly knew this had been Marina’s home. There was a wide front porch that would be perfect for sitting on long summer evenings and bright green flower boxes hanging from the railings—empty now, but Kelly could visualize brilliant blooms tumbling from them. Memories of a young Marina tending her flower garden played through her mind like an old movie. Her throat clogged as she fought back emotion.

“Relax, Kelly. No one’s going to yell at you,” Sam teased.

“How well do you know my mother, Sam?” Kelly managed to toss him a wry smile before she slid out of the truck. Inside, her stomach danced with nervousness. Would her dad know her? Would her mother launch one of her verbal attacks in front of Sam’s parents—if they were there? Would the kids like her?

Sam slid his hand into hers and murmured, “We’ll do this together.”

Grateful for his support, Kelly clung to his hand as they walked the snowy path to the door and prayed for wisdom to get through the meeting with her mother.

Despite Sam’s earlier welcome, Kelly doubted this could ever be her home. This was where Marina had belonged. Kelly was just a stand-in, the person her sister and Jake had chosen to help Sam keep the family dream alive. Could she do that?

Sam turned the knob, pushed open the door then stepped back, his green gaze holding hers with a tenderness that said he understood. Perhaps his “Welcome home, Kelly,” was what gave her the strength to let go of his hand and step inside.

Chapter Two

“Hi, Mom. Dad.” After hugging her parents, Kelly stood back, a tentative smile curving her full lips.

Sam figured he was probably the only one who saw a question lingering in the depths of her brown gaze and knew she wondered if her father’s disease meant he wouldn’t recognize her.

“Hey, Kelly.” Neil Krause grinned at his daughter then hugged her again. “Boy, I’m glad to see you, honey. We’ve missed you so much.”

“It took this to bring you home?” Arabella Krause wasn’t as forgiving of her daughter’s long absence. Sam winced at the anger underlying her snippy words.

“I’m sorry I didn’t get back earlier, Mom.” Kelly touched Arabella’s cheek in the merest graze of her fingertips. She leaned forward and pressed a kiss there then pulled back to glance at the child wiggling in her mother’s arms. “Who’s this fellow?”

“That’s Jacob Samuel Denver. He doesn’t talk yet.” A little girl with bright blond pigtails and cornflower blue eyes stood in front of Kelly. “I’m Sadie and this is my sister, Emma,” she said, indicating her twin. “You’re our mommy’s sister, aren’t you? But our mommy’s not here anymore. She’s gone.” Big fat tears trickled down her cheeks.

“She’s with God,” Emma said in the whisper-soft voice she’d used ever since Sam had told the twins of their parents’ deaths. She slipped her hand into Sadie’s. “You’re s’posed to be happy, Sadie. Mommy tol’ us that’s a happy place, ’member?”

“I don’t want Mommy and Daddy to be gone,” Sadie snapped. “I want them here.”

Sam stepped forward to console her, but Kelly beat him to it.

“They are here, darling.” Sam’s heart blocked his throat as Kelly crouched down to the twins’ level. “Your mom and dad are right here in your heart.” She tapped Sadie’s little chest. “They’ll always be there because they loved you so much and because you loved them.”

Sadie frowned. “Are you sure?”

“Yep. Positive,” Kelly said with no hesitation. Sam could have hugged her for that when Sadie’s sad tears immediately stopped.

“Oh.” Sadie leaned forward until her lips were next to Kelly’s ear. “I like talkin’ ’bout my Mommy an’ Daddy but it makes Grannybell cry.” The not-quite-whispered words pierced the room’s sudden silence.

Sam winced at Arabella’s indrawn breath and tensed. Now Kelly’s mother would take offense. She’d done a lot of that lately. To save everyone’s nerves he prepared to intervene, but once again Kelly spoke first.

“Your mommy was Grannybell’s daughter, Sadie. That means she was Grannybell’s little girl, just like you and Emma are Mommy’s very special little girls.” Kelly’s voice lost its composure for an instant, but she swallowed and quickly regained her poise. “You loved your mommy very much, right?” Two blond heads nodded. “Well, so did Grannybell.”

“She doesn’t like it that our mommy’s with God?” Emma asked in the soft, hesitant voice Sam had begun to hate, because he hadn’t been able to figure out how to cure it. Eyes wide, Emma risked a sideways glance at Arabella. “Why?”

“She likes Mommy to be with God,” Kelly assured her. “But she misses Mommy very much, and sometimes that makes her cry. But it’s okay for Grannybell to cry, and it’s okay for you guys to talk about your mom and dad.” Kelly nodded at their wide-eyed stares. “Talking about Mommy is how we remember her.”

“Are you gonna talk ’bout her?” Sadie, the chatterbox, asked. “Uncle Sam tol’ us you and Mommy were twins like me an’ Emma.”

“We were, only we didn’t look like each other, like you two do.” Kelly’s voice wobbled. She cleared her throat then held out one hand. “I’m Auntie Kelly. Pleased to meet you, Miss Sadie. And you, Miss Emma.”

Sam’s lips twitched as the girls, bemused at being called Miss, each shook hands with their aunt.

“What about Jacob Samuel?” Emma asked, her voice barely above a whisper. “Don’t you gotta shake hands with him, too?”

“He’s just a baby. He doesn’t shake hands,” Sadie scolded.

“How do you do, Master Jacob Samuel Denver?” Kelly performed a bow in front of the little boy then took his tiny hand and shook it. “I’m very pleased to make your—ooh.” She glanced at her hand, made a face then wiped her fingers on her pant leg amid the twins’ giggles.

“Jacob Samuel drools,” Sadie informed her.

“A lot,” Emma added.

“Thank you. I’ll remember that.” Kelly looked around, taking in Marina’s kitchen, her home. She suddenly looked so lost, Sam felt a rush of pity.

“Do you two want to see what I brought for you?” he asked the twins.

Sadie yelled “yes” and both girls jumped up and down with excitement. No doubt he’d hear about their unseemly behavior from Arabella later, but for now their happy excitement sounded like music to Sam’s ears. He handed them each a box, received a hug and then watched as the girls opened their gifts, dolls he’d bought in the airport store, oohing and ahhing over them as they lifted them free of the tissue paper while Kelly stood watching with a smile on her face.

“Arabella, this is for you and Neil. A small token to say thanks for helping my parents with the kids.” He took the baby from her in trade for a huge box of the brand of candy he knew she favored. “Where are my parents, by the way?”

“At your father’s medical appointment. Your mother thought it best to keep to his schedule,” Arabella said in quiet tones, her gaze on Kelly.

“I think so, too,” Sam agreed, relieved to see that nothing had happened while he was away. “So what’s been happening?”

“Oscar said we got two new babies in the barn, Uncle Sam.” Emma was entranced by the ranch animals.

“Where did you see Oscar?” he asked sharply. Hadn’t Arabella been watching? Surely the twins hadn’t gone out to the barn—fear crept up his spine.

“I seed him when me an’ Sadie builded our snowmen,” Emma murmured. “We got carrots for the noses an’ I used one of your hats. Grannybell said it was ’propri—” She frowned and turned to her twin. “What was that word?”

“I dunno.” Sadie was too busy removing the clothes from her doll to even look up.

“Appropriate?” Kelly asked with an amused wink at Sam.

“Yeah.” After Sam told her he had indeed noticed their snowman’s hat, Emma crouched down beside her sister, and the two immediately launched into playtime.

“What do they call your mother?” Kelly asked curiously.

“Gran,” he said and winked. “As opposed to Grannybell for your mom.”

“Cute.” As Kelly glanced around, he noticed her backpack still lay at her feet.

“Come on. I’ll show you where you can stow your stuff.” He picked up the pack and led the way to the back bedroom, next to the twins’. “Is this okay?” he asked, wishing he’d thought of dusting the spare room. “Your parents have the master bedroom. Marina thought it was easier for them with the attached bath.”

“This is fine.” She glanced around once, then her gaze returned to him. “You said your parents are staying here, too?”

“No, they’re at my place.” He walked to the window, drew back the curtain and pointed. “Over there. See?” he said with a burst of pride swelling inside at the log structure he’d built mostly by himself from felling the trees to choosing the admittedly masculine decor. “They were in a place in town, sort of a practice run before buying a condo in the city, but it was too far away. This is better. I can check on them anytime.”

“Good idea.” Kelly’s focus seemed to be on the empty walls.

“Something wrong?” he asked.

“Just wondering why Marina never hung anything in here.” She shrugged. “The walls are all blank. I remember she always used to like to hang her pictures everywhere.”

“They were full of Marina’s pictures. She’d become an excellent photographer.” Sam chose his words carefully. “Your mother’s had a hard time dealing with her death. I came back one day to find she’d taken everything down. She said she couldn’t bear to look at the wasted potential of her talent. That’s partly why I suggested they move upstairs. No memories there because Jake and Marina just had it renovated.”

“But Mom removed other stuff, didn’t she?” Kelly’s pointed look made Sam realize there was no point in prevaricating. Her next words confirmed that. “I noticed the living room has discolored paint where I’m guessing a family or wedding picture used to hang.” Her lips tightened. “She shouldn’t have touched them. I’ll ask her not to do it anymore.”

“I’ve already told her not to,” he admitted.

“Really?” Kelly stared at him. “You told my mother—” She stopped, a dazed look stretching her eyes wide.

“I had to. I want her to feel comfortable here, but I also want this to remain the kids’ home,” Sam explained. “Too many changes all at once aren’t good for them. Your mother disagrees. She thinks they should forget as fast as they can.”

“It’s what she did with her own parents’ deaths when we were little. We couldn’t talk about our grandparents at all, though we had some very good memories.” Kelly’s sad face made Sam want to reassure her just as she’d reassured the twins. “That’s how she deals with life’s problems. Or at least it was when I lived at home.”

“Maybe she’ll get better,” he soothed, doubting it.

“Thank you for understanding.” Kelly’s smile made it clear she knew he was soft-pedaling her mother’s indignant reaction. “I’m sure she hasn’t made it easy for you. I’m surprised she didn’t push to have the funerals before I arrived.”

“We need your input,” was all he would admit. He smiled. “I was hoping you’d agree we should have them at their church, the one I showed you in town, and fairly soon. We all need the chance to say goodbye.” He touched her arm, hating to cause her pain, but knowing it was inevitable. “I’d like to have one funeral for both of them on Saturday. Is that okay with you?”

“That’s only two days away.” He saw the tears well, but Kelly gulped, lifted her chin and nodded. “What do you need me to do?”

“Exactly what you just did, which is to take care of the kids. Listen to them when they want to talk. Comfort them, reassure them that they are loved and cared for.” He had to say it. “I don’t want Sadie and Emma to hear one word from anyone about not staying here on the ranch.”

“Why aren’t me and Emma stayin’ here, Uncle Sam? Don’t you want us no more?”

Sam wheeled around with a silent groan. Sadie stood in the doorway, her face drawn up in a frown.

“You’re gonna send us away, aren’t you, Uncle Sam?” she asked and then began to howl as if she was seriously injured.

Sam looked at Kelly and silently begged, Help me!

* * *

Kelly recognized grief, weariness and sadness in Sam’s silent appeal. Poor guy was swamped with trying to keep the world going for everyone, including her. Kelly had to act. She scooped Sadie into her arms, set her on the bed then sat down beside her.

“Hush now. I want to ask you something, Sadie.”

“’Kay,” was the hiccupped response.

“Do you know Uncle Sam very well?” Kelly asked.

“O’ course. He’s Daddy’s brother.” Sadie frowned at the obviousness of that, but at least she’d stopped crying, and now her blue eyes widened with curiosity.

“Yes, but is Uncle Sam mean?” Kelly waited for Sadie to shake her head. “Does he do bad things?” Again the shake. “But I guess he sometimes yells at you.”

“No. Uncle Sam loves me and Emma,” Sadie insisted.

“Then why would he send you away from your home?” Kelly waited for her to puzzle it out. “Uncle Sam wouldn’t do that, right?” Sadie shook her head. “Of course not. But you heard us talking and wondered why he said what he did.”

“Uh-huh.” Sadie’s pigtails bobbed with her nod.

“Well, honey, it’s like this. People are curious and sometimes they say silly things. I think Uncle Sam must have heard some of those folks talking, wondering about you and Emma.”

“’Bout our mommy and daddy going away, you mean?” she said calmly, leaving Kelly to marvel at the quickness of this child’s brain. “I think they said it ’cause Uncle Sam hasn’t got a mommy.”

“But—oh, you mean he doesn’t have a wife who could care for you?” Kelly clarified.

“Uh-huh.” Sadie frowned. “Who’s gonna look after Emma ’n me?”

“Uncle Sam’s going to look after you, honey. And I’m going to help him. If anyone asks you, you tell them that.” She hugged Sadie close, somewhat surprised by how quickly love for these precious children had swept into her heart, a determined and protective love that refused to let Marina’s beloved kids suffer unnecessarily.

“Okay now, darlin’?” Sam drawled as he crouched in front of Sadie.

“I guess.” Her freckled nose wrinkled. “But who’s my fam’ly?”

“Darlin’, you got family coming out your ears.” Sam tickled her earlobe then began listing people. “You have two grandmas, two grandpas, Uncle Sam, Auntie Kelly, Emma, Jacob Samuel and Oscar—”

“Oscar’s my fam’ly?” Sadie’s eyes peered at him in surprise.

“Oscar’s our right-hand man,” Sam explained to Kelly. He handed her the baby before turning back to Sadie to cup her cheeks in his palms. “He lives on the Triple D, doesn’t he?” He grinned when she nodded. “Well then, Oscar must be family. Right, Kel?” he asked, holding her gaze with his own.

Kel. The nickname he’d given her the night of the wedding. Sam was the only one who’d ever called her that. Kelly couldn’t help a thrill of pleasure at the familiarity. It made her feel part of the group, as though she belonged. Not even the memory of her mother’s frosty reception could ruin the burst of warmth that sprang up inside.

Dear Sam. How kind of him to make her feel so welcome. Of course she was going to stay and help him, for as long as she could.

“Kel?” He was still watching her with that intent stare that saw too much.

“Right, Sam,” she agreed, snapping out of her reverie. “Oscar must be family.”

“See, Sadie Lady? What did I say?” He chuckled at Sadie’s surprised look, but his attention returned to her. “Auntie Kel knows who’s family.”

His gaze held, probing, reassuring, warm. It felt as if Sam saw deep inside her to the secret childhood yearning to be loved unconditionally that had never quite gone away.

“Do ranch people eat dinner?” Kelly blurted, shifting under his stare. She rose, careful not to jostle Jacob Samuel, who was now sleeping. “I’m starving.”

“It’s not dinnertime yet,” Sadie chided. “First Uncle Sam has to do chores.”

“Tonight Oscar’s going to do my chores,” Sam explained as he took her hand on one side and Kelly’s free one on the other then drew them both beside him toward the kitchen. “Kelly and I were rushing so hard to get here we only had a bit of breakfast and we missed lunch. I’m starving. Let’s get a snack.”

“Me an’ Emma could make you our shake-’em-up pudding,” Sadie volunteered as she swung his arm.