The Nanny's Secret Child

“Hello.”

The reply was uttered with little enthusiasm. Not surprising. Accepting a new caregiver took a period of adjustment. Unfortunately, there wouldn’t be much time for that. For the next few days she’d merely be a highly paid babysitter. But it would be worth it.

Julie moved forward and extended her hand. “I’m...” She cleared her throat. “I’m happy to meet you.” The little girl clutched the faded backpack, staring up at her with a dull gaze. Julie glanced at the father. He looked worried and a bit sad. She remembered what he’d said about the recent upheavals in her life. “Why don’t you sit down and we’ll talk a moment.”

Once they were settled, Julie rested her elbows on the table and peered over at Abby, examining each inch of her. From her heart-shaped face to the sprinkle of freckles across her upturned nose, she was an adorable little girl. Her pretty brown eyes were framed with long thick lashes, but as lovely as her eyes were, they lacked the spark of excitement and curiosity Julie liked to see in a child her age. Abby’s demeanor read sad and uninvolved. Julie’s heart lurched, forcing her to corral her emotions and focus on her assignment. “I’m looking forward to spending time together. Is there something special you like to do?”

Abby shrugged, fingering her backpack.

Julie glanced at the father. Pain and confusion drew his brows downward and caused a muscle to flex at the corner of his mouth. He had the look of a parent who had no idea how to help the child he loved. Something inside Julie softened. She directed her attention to Abby again. “I have some things I like to do with my students, so we’ll try them out and see which ones you like, all right?”

“I’m not a student.”

“That’s true. But I’m a teacher most of the time, so I think of all my children that way.”

She frowned. “You don’t look like a nanny.”

“Abby.” Montgomery gently reprimanded his daughter.

She focused her attention on Abby. “Nannies come in all shapes and sizes. Just like children do. And you look like a very nice young lady.” Julie had been angling for a smile, but all she received was a blink. But in that moment Julie saw emotions she recognized and understood. Abby was feeling disconnected and confused. “Abby is usually short for Abigail. Is that your real name?” The child shrugged again. “My name is Julianna Bishop, but everyone calls me Julie.”

Abby stared back at her, little mouth pressed into a frown. “Mine is Abigail Sarah Montgomery. My mommy said Sarah means ‘princess.’”

Encouraged, Julie continued. “Little girls are always princesses to their mommies...and daddies.” An unexpected stab of pain penetrated her barriers. Like sand washing away with a wave, her foundation began to erode. Blood drained from her face. A surge of light-headedness blurred her vision. She rubbed her forehead, willing herself to calm down. She glanced across the table at the little girl and felt her stomach heave.

Mr. Montgomery’s cell rang again, and she grabbed the opportunity to excuse herself. “Abby, could you point me to the bathroom?”

The child gestured to the hall and Julie tried to walk, not run, from the room. Her fiercely pounding heart sent her blood roaring in her ears. She stepped into the small guest bath, shut the door and leaned against it.

She couldn’t cry. Not now. She wouldn’t be able to explain it. Mr. Montgomery might change his mind and ask her to leave. Or worse, he’d demand an explanation. He’d think she was unfit to care for his daughter.

Trapped in a whirlwind of colliding emotions, she fought to find her footing. Fear. Excitement. Joy. Anger. A million reactions she hadn’t anticipated.

Please, please, Lord, help me. Moving to the sink, she ran cold water over her hands and pressed them to her cheeks to ease the scalding heat. Inhaling a few deep breaths, she forced herself to calm down. Slowly her stomach settled. She stared at her reflection in the mirror and saw a woman facing her worst nightmare. Not the image she wanted to project. She wanted to appear friendly and nurturing. Capable and caring. The way she seemed at school or when working as a nanny. Except this wasn’t a normal assignment. Not by a long shot.

Inhaling one last calming breath, Julie straightened and turned to go. As she grasped the doorknob, the anxiety churned up again, buckling her knees. What would Gil Montgomery say if she told him the truth? That the child he called Abby was the baby girl she gave up for adoption eight years ago?

Chapter Two

With great effort, Julie managed to regain control and return to the kitchen. Mr. Montgomery looked up as she entered.

“Miss Bishop, I know you weren’t supposed to start work until tomorrow, but I need to run to the office. It’s only a few miles away. I was wondering if you could stay with Abby for a half hour or so. You could get better acquainted while I’m gone. Of course, I’ll understand if you can’t.”

A million possibilities raced through her mind. What she wanted to do was run home, bury herself in bed and sort out all the emotions surging through her heart before she exploded. Yet having the chance to remain here and spend extra time with her child was a blessing she couldn’t pass up, even though the danger and the potential emotional stress would be difficult.

“I’d be happy to stay. Abby can show me around, help me find things I might need.”

Montgomery looked a bit leery, but nodded. “Good. Thank you.” He stooped down beside Abby. “Will you be okay here with the new nanny? I won’t be long.”

Abby shrugged, clutching her backpack a bit closer. Montgomery raised a hand as if to stroke her hair, then let it fall, getting to his feet. The gesture caused a twinge in Julie’s heart and raised a number of questions. Why was Abby so indifferent toward her father and why was he so reluctant to show his affection? Clearly there was a barrier between them. She smiled to cover her concern.

“All right, then. I shouldn’t be long.” He handed Julie a business card with all his numbers. “Don’t hesitate to call me for anything.”

“Don’t worry. We’ll be fine.” She gave him her most reassuring smile, but the moment the door closed behind Gil Montgomery, Julie began to question her decision. Her only hope to keep from sinking into a pit of emotional quicksand was to don her professional facade, lock it down tightly and move forward. She faced Abby with her most engaging smile. “I’m feeling like a snack, how about you?”

With some assistance from Abby, Julie found plates, glasses and a tin of oatmeal cookies. After pouring two glasses of milk, she settled at the table, watching the little girl eat a cookie and take a sip of her milk. Julie took a bite of her cookie, but it turned to sawdust in her mouth. “These are really good cookies. Did you make them?” The question drew a puzzled frown from the little girl.

“My grandma made them.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever had a better one.” Even though she couldn’t choke one down, she had to admit they were soft, chewy and very tasty. “She must be a very good cook.”

Abby shrugged again. “She had to go away.”

Hope blossomed in Julie’s heart. At least they were conversing now. For a while she’d feared the only source of communication would be shrugs and nods. But the resigned tone in Abby’s voice bothered her. “I know. You must miss her.”

One corner of the little mouth twitched upward. “Everybody goes away.”

A sharp barb pricked her nerves. “But they come back. Your dad said that as soon as his sister is well, she and your grandma will come home.”

“Mommy won’t come home.”

Julie’s insides twisted at the sadness in the child’s voice. She resisted the urge to scoop her up into a hug. “I’m so sorry about your mom. You must miss her very much. But you’re here with your daddy now, so everything will be fine. You’ll see.”

Abby shoved her plate back and glared. “He doesn’t want me here.”

Julie stared at the little girl a moment, replaying everything she’d seen and heard since arriving at the house. If first impressions counted for anything, then Mr. Montgomery was a devoted father. The relationship between him and his daughter was strained, but she’d seen no indication that he resented his child being here. “Oh, Abby, I don’t think that’s true. I’m sure he loves you very much and he’s happy to have you here with him.”

Abby clammed up. She stared down, backpack clutched tight. Conversation over. Time to change directions. “Well, let me clean up, and then you can show me around so I won’t get lost tomorrow when I come to stay with you.”

“I don’t need a nanny. That’s for babies.”

“Not always. In some countries nannies take care of children until they’re all grown up.”

“That’s silly.”

“I think you might be right. Well, why don’t you think of me as a friend who will watch out for you while your daddy is at work and until your grandma comes home?”

Abby mulled that over, a frown folding her little forehead. “What do I call you?”

“How about Miss Julie? That way it’ll sound more like we’re friends.”

“Okay.”

“Good, because I want us to become friends.” Was that possible? Could she have a relationship with her child beyond that of fill-in nanny? The truth shouted inside her head, burning through her heart. Impossible. She wasn’t even supposed to know who Abby was, let alone be here taking care of her. The truth could never come out. It would be disastrous for everyone involved. The father would be furious. He might bring charges against her or the agency. Agatha Montrose, the owner of the Nanny Connection Agency, was her friend and mentor. She’d never considered what would happen to her, not to mention Julie’s own reputation, should the truth come out. But most important of all, what emotional damage would it do to Abby? A swell of anxiety crashed over her senses. She stood, struggling to hold herself together. She had to calm down. No one knew about Abby except DiDi. Julie’s own parents didn’t know. She’d never told them she was pregnant. Not that it would have mattered one way or the other to them.

Julie gathered up the plates and glasses, taking her time at the sink, rinsing and stacking them on the counter. Doubts about this decision bombarded her from every direction. This had seemed like a gift from God at first. She’d been convinced it was the answer to her long-uplifted prayers. But now... Slowly she wiped her hands on a towel, giving herself time to regroup.

Since the day her baby was born, she’d been plagued with one question. Not, had she done the right thing in giving her up—she’d had no choice in that regard. Alone, penniless with no one to turn to, she’d known the only future she could offer her baby girl was to give her to a couple who could provide a home, brothers and sisters, love and security.

The question that had haunted her all these years was whether or not her child was happy and well cared for. Did her adopted parents love her as much as her birth mother did? That love had been the only way she’d been able to let her go. Julie fingered the small silver heart with the birthstone in the center. The only reminder of the little girl she had given up.

DiDi had somehow managed to get the name of the adoptive parents and given it to her. She’d always known the Montgomerys had taken her child, and that they lived in Mississippi, but she’d never acted upon the knowledge. She’d never looked them up, never tried to find where they lived, believing in her heart that it was best for her baby.

Until the day Gil Montgomery’s name had appeared at the agency, requesting a short-term nanny. The application stated he’d lost his wife a few months ago and he needed a temporary caregiver for his daughter. Julie carefully folded the towel, glancing over at Abby, still sitting quietly at the table. She might have resisted the need to assure herself of her child’s well-being if it hadn’t been for her move to Paris.

The only obstacle to her dream move was her gnawing fear. Stories about adopted children who’d been mistreated, neglected or even given up again never failed to fuel a torrent of doubt and fear in her heart. What if her baby was with a family that didn’t truly love her? If Julie knew her baby was happy, in a loving environment, then she could leave the country secure in the knowledge that it had all been worth it.

Julie closed her eyes, thanking the Lord for allowing her this chance. Five days. Enough time to allay her fears, to get to know her child, to gain peace and perspective before closing the door on this part of her life forever. And this was a blessing from God. It had to be.

She smiled at the little girl. “Okay, I’m ready to see your house. Where do you want to start?”

Begrudgingly, Abby scooted out of her chair, nodding toward the counter. “This is the kitchen.”

She chuckled. “Really?” Abby didn’t laugh with her, but she did move her mouth to one side. Julie followed the little girl through the downstairs rooms, pointing out each area with little fanfare. She noticed the whole house was in need of love and attention. She had a feeling the people who lived here might have that same need. She shook off the worrisome thought. She needed to think with her head, not her heart. Abby had been in Dover only a short while, and her long-term well-being wasn’t her concern. Only her day-to-day care.

Back inside, she followed Abby upstairs.

“This is my room.”

Julie took a quick survey of the large space. There was something odd about the decor. The pink paint was an unusual shade, the bedspread clashed with the pillows, and the curtains were more suited for a nursery. Then it hit her. This room was decorated by a man who had no idea what a little girl’s room should look like. It was not the room an eight-year-old girl would dream about. Julie looked for something positive to say. “This is a really nice room. Look at all the sunlight you get.”

“It’s pink. I hate pink. I like purple. My other room was purple.”

“It’s not hard to paint walls. I’ll bet if you told your daddy that you’d rather have a purple room, he’d change it for you.”

Abby tossed her backpack onto the bed, then climbed up beside it, arms crossed over her little chest. “No, he wouldn’t.”

She sat beside her. “What makes you say that?”

“He doesn’t want to be my daddy. Aunt Pam said so.”

Julie’s concern rose. Was this chip on her shoulder a result of grief and being taken from her home, or was there something more behind her attitude? If this were any other assignment, Julie would just go on about her job. But this wasn’t a normal situation.

“I’m sure your Aunt Pam didn’t mean that. Sometimes when grown-ups are angry at each other, they say things they don’t mean. Your daddy brought you to this nice house and this town so you could be close to your family. Like your grandmother. You like her, don’t you?”

Abby nodded, eyes glistening.

“She’ll be back very soon. In the meantime, your daddy has asked me to take very good care of you and play with you and...” to love you. “And I’m a professional at that kind of thing.”

“What’s that mean?”

“That means I’m very good at taking care of children. I have lots of things we can do that are fun. Like drawing.” Maybe she could get Abby to express her feelings through pictures, a technique that had worked well for Julie in the past. “Let’s go back downstairs and draw until your dad gets back.” Reluctantly, the little girl followed.

Julie clutched the stair railing as she descended the steps. She and Mr. Montgomery needed to have a talk. She wanted to know what Abby had been through. If she was going to help her child, she needed to know about her past. She needed to know what... She stopped at the bottom, releasing a heavy sigh. What was she doing? She wasn’t here to help Abby. She wasn’t her mother, not really. She was the caregiver for a few days. Nothing more.

Blood surged in her ears like waves. But how could she ignore that Abby was an unhappy little girl? She was sad and confused and clung to her backpack like a lifeline, which showed the depth of her insecurity. And she was helpless to do anything about it. Abby needed her help. She needed love and attention, and who better to provide that than her mother?

* * *

Gil pulled into his designated parking spot and shut off the engine, swallowing around the worry clogging his throat. He’d nearly turned around three times to go back and stay with Abby. He’d been adjusting to the idea of a young attractive nanny until she’d returned to the kitchen looking pale and shaky. She’d regained her equilibrium quickly, but it left him wondering if she was sick, and questioning his decision to leave his child with a stranger.

What had surprised him was the surge of protectiveness toward the woman that had overtaken him. He’d wanted to pull her close and comfort her. He’d never felt that way before. He was obviously more stressed over this situation than he’d thought. Julie Bishop was a professional caregiver. And it was only for an hour. He couldn’t be with Abby every second. His mom had warned him about being overprotective. Maybe he was, but he had a lot to make up for. Because of his ignorance, he’d sent his child to live in a world of chaos. He had to undo the damage somehow. He just didn’t know how.

Inside the large building that housed Montgomery Electrical Contractors, the business his family owned, he headed for the office on the second floor. His older brother Linc was behind the desk, and the sight unleashed a wave of grief that stopped him in his tracks. Their father should be running the company, but he died suddenly last fall, leaving the family reeling. Gil had barely begun to process the loss when his ex-wife had died, and he’d been caught up in a custody tornado that hadn’t ended until Christmas.

Linc looked up from the desk, a smile on his face. “I take it the new nanny worked out or you wouldn’t have left Abby with her.”

“She wasn’t what I was expecting.” Gil glanced down at his hand, unable to shake the memory of holding hers. Soft, warm and strong. He’d sensed a tension about her, but he’d also been aware of her energy. There was something stable and trustworthy about Miss Bishop. And at the same time she was fresh and appealing. “She’s young.” He wasn’t sure why that bothered him so much.

“How young?”

“Few years younger than me, I guess.”

Linc chuckled. “Hate to tell you, bro, but that isn’t so young. I’m marrying a woman about that age.”

Gil managed a smile. Linc had met a wonderful woman with a young son and they were planning their wedding. “I thought she’d be more grandmotherly. But she’s pretty and warm and friendly.” And she had beautiful dark hair that floated around her face in soft waves, brown eyes that held a sparkle and skin that glowed.

“How pretty?”

Too late he realized his mistake. Ever since Linc had fallen in love, he was eager to have others join the party. “She’s qualified. That’s all that matters. I only hope she and Abby can get along until Mom gets back. This is another big change in Abby’s life.” He started to tell his brother about other concerns but decided against it. Linc had enough on his mind between running Montgomery Electrical and planning his future. He didn’t need to shoulder Gil’s problems, too. They were both treading water, trying to adjust to the loss of their father and keep the family business afloat after narrowly avoiding bankruptcy last month.

“So did you like the woman? More important, did Abby like her?”

Gil rubbed his forehead. “Yeah, I did. I have no clue what Abby thought. She won’t talk to me. I think I might call the agency and have them send someone older, more like Mom.”

Linc nodded. “Or you can wait and see how things go. Maybe Abby needs someone younger, more flexible.”

“Maybe. I just want her happy again.”

“We all do. We want you to be happy again, too, bro.”

He shook his head and sat. He could never be happy until Abby was. “I’m not sure that’s possible. So what is it I need to sign that couldn’t wait until tomorrow? It’s Sunday afternoon. You should be home watching the play-offs.”

Linc shoved a folder of papers toward him. “I’d rather be, but the bids on the Westfal project are due tomorrow morning and I’m hand delivering the bid to the contractor as soon as they’re signed. We can’t afford to miss any opportunities if we’re going to stay afloat. Oh, and I saw a couple upcoming jobs on the Dodge Reports you might want to look into.”

Gil scribbled his name on the documents, then tossed the pen onto the desk. “Is that all? I need to get back to Abby.”

Linc glanced at the signature, then closed the folder. “Yeah. I know I shouldn’t, but I’m counting on this job to come through. It could turn things around for us. We’ve still got a long way to go to get the company back on solid ground.”

Exhaling a heavy breath, Gil ran a hand down the back of his neck. The recent setbacks at the company had forced his brother to make some tough decisions and a major sacrifice. “I should have been here. I let you down.”

Linc held up his hand. “Stop. No one blames you. Abby was your first priority.”

Mounting pressure in his chest drove Gil to his feet. “I let her down, too.” His gaze came to rest on the family photo on the desk. “And Mom and Dad. Everyone.”

“How do you figure?”

Gil brushed back his sport coat, setting his hands on his hips and keeping his back to his brother, his gaze fixed out the window. “I robbed Dad and Mom of their only grandchild. I promised Dad I’d bring her back home.”

“And you did.”

“Too late for him.”

“Hey, at least you tried. Leah is the one who left and took Abby away.”

“I should have fought harder. I should never have let Abby go with her mother in the first place. If I’d understood her illness better, I would never have allowed her full custody of Abby.”

“We all believed that a toddler should be with her mother. None of us realized Leah was bipolar.”

“But I should have. I was married to her. How stupid was I? I should have realized. The violent mood swings, the constant demand for more attention, the fact nothing was ever good enough. I thought she was spoiled. The worst part is she lied to me. If I hadn’t stumbled on her meds when I went to pick up Abby that time, I’d never have known. Her sister, Pam, was only too eager to fill me in on how cruel I’d been.”

“That’s not true.”

“Isn’t it? If I’d known sooner, I could have helped her, gotten her better care, treated her differently. I might have been able to fix things.”

“Gil, bipolar disorder isn’t something you can fix. You know that. You’re a smart guy.”

“If I’m so smart, why didn’t I see that my own wife was ill?”

“A better question would be, why didn’t she tell you?”

The phone rang and Linc picked it up. Gil was only vaguely aware of the conversation. His brother’s question was the same one he’d asked himself a million times. Why had Leah hidden her illness from him? Keeping him in the dark had only complicated all their lives and led to a string of bad decisions on his part. Regrets nagged at him constantly. He longed for the wise council of his father and the keen insight of his mother, neither of whom were available. He was on his own, free to make a whole new string of poor decisions with his daughter.

“That was a reminder that the bid on the Bancroft project is due this Friday.”

“I’ll have it ready.” He glanced over his shoulder at his older brother. There were only thirteen months between them. They’d grown up more like twins. They could read each other’s thoughts. Right now worry was written all over Linc’s face. “I owe you an apology for fouling things up here.” He rubbed his forehead, trying to ease the throbbing behind his eyes. “I left you to deal with everything after Dad died. I wasn’t here to help with Mom or the company. I didn’t take enough time on the bids.”

“Gil, we all understood. The mess here with the company was all on me. I wasn’t prepared to run the business. I never appreciated how good Dad was at running things here until he was gone.”