Runaway Amish Bride

“It wasn’t my choice when Susan died. I can’t tell my heart what to feel or who to love,” Jakob said.

How could he tell his heart to stop loving Susan and start loving another woman? He couldn’t shut it off and on. It wasn’t possible.

“Ja, you can. All you have to do is stop being angry at Gott and start living in the present instead of the past. Look for ways to feel joy and you’ll find it.” With a final nod, Dawdi stood slowly and carried his bucket out of the milking room. He set the container on top of the rough-hewn counter. When he turned, he staggered but caught himself against a beam of timber.

“Dawdi! Are you all right?” Jakob stood so fast that he almost kicked his bucket over. A dollop of frothy white milk sloshed over the pail.

“I’m all right.” Dawdi Zeke held up a hand to reassure him.

Jakob was still worried. With his father passing away so recently, they were shorthanded. To take up the slack, Dawdi Zeke had been overdoing, but he would never complain. Jakob would make a point of doing the milking earlier for a few days, to give his grandfather a rest.

He glanced at the buckets, mentally calculating how many gallons of milk they would have tonight. He knew Mamm would separate the cream later, to make butter and other tasty fillings for the pastries she sold at the bakery in town. During the past few years of drought, the extra income she brought in had been a blessing. With Abby’s help, they should be able to increase their production.

Jakob lowered his head and continued with his task. Yes, Abby was a sweet person from what he could tell, but that didn’t mean he wanted to marry and spend the rest of his life with her.

It would do no good to tell Dawdi that he wasn’t angry with Gott, because he was. Very angry. Yes, he loved the Lord with all his heart, but why had He taken Susan and Daed away when the familye still needed them so badly?

Dawdi leaned against the doorway. “Your vadder was wrong to bring Abby here without your approval, but I believe he had your best interests in mind. No doubt he intended to speak with you about it, but he never got the chance. I hope you won’t feel too harshly toward him.”

Jakob didn’t respond, wishing they could talk about something else. He had loved and respected his father, but he had no idea what the man’s intentions had been. Jakob was no longer a young lad. He was a grown man with kinder of his own, and he had earned the right to choose whom he did and did not marry. His father had been out of line to make promises of marriage to Abby without asking him about it first.

“What are you going to do about Abby?” Dawdi pressed.

Jakob resisted the urge to look up from his milking. “Nothing. We will let her work and live here as long as she wants. I’m not inclined to send her back to her familye if she doesn’t want to go.”

He told his grandfather about his altercation with Simon all those years ago when they had been teenage boys. He didn’t want to send her back to a life of abuse.

Dawdi grunted. “Her daed was no better. I knew him well when we still lived in Ohio. A cruel man, for sure. Everyone in the district knew he beat his horses, wife and kids. Some even believe he was responsible for his wife’s death. His abuse was a constant point of contention in his home. The bishop and deacon spoke to him about it many times, but he never changed. The Lord taught us that loving persuasion is the way for us to lead our households. Otherwise, your familye learns to hate and fear you. And that’s not the way for any man to be.”

“I agree with you,” Jakob said.

Many Amish spanked their kinder, but not Jakob. No matter how disobedient, he could never bring himself to beat his wife or children if they chose not to do as he asked. They were too precious to him, and he didn’t want to become their enemy. But Reuben was getting out of control. Maybe a spanking was what he needed right now.

Dawdi made a tsking sound. “Ach, it’s just as well that it didn’t work out between you and Abby. But no matter. One of the other young men in our district will surely want to marry her. She’s beautiful, young and filled with faith. I doubt she’ll be living with us for very long.”

With those words, Dawdi picked up his bucket and carried it outside, leaving Jakob alone with his thoughts. Jakob stared after the man, stunned by what his grandfather had said. The thought of another man paying attention to Abby bothered him for some odd reason. They wouldn’t know about the abuse she’d suffered. Even Jakob sensed that he didn’t know all the facts. She needed a man who was patient, kind and compassionate. Someone who would adore her and never raise a hand to her or their children.

He tried to tell himself it wasn’t his business. Abby could marry whomever she liked. It wasn’t his place to interfere. And yet, he felt responsible for her now, especially since she had come here with plans to wed him and was now living in his household. And for the first time since she’d arrived, he actually felt bad that he couldn’t give her what she desired.

* * *

Abby was just preparing to go upstairs when Jakob brought the children inside for bed. They kissed their grandmother, then trolleyed off to brush their teeth with their father’s supervision. Hiding a yawn, Abby soon followed. Standing on the landing, she peered into the room the children shared. Two twin beds sat apart from each other, budged up against opposite walls. Curious about the kids’ relationship with their father, Abby listened for a moment.

“Will you read us a story, Daed?” Reuben asked, holding up a children’s book.

“Of course.” Jakob took the book and sprawled across the boy’s bed, his long legs hanging over the edge.

He plumped the pillows as Ruby joined them, wearing a simple flannel nightgown. She cuddled against her father and laid her head back. Abby plastered herself against the outside wall so they wouldn’t see her, but she couldn’t bring herself to leave. Not once in her life could she remember her father reading her a bedtime story, and she was captivated by the event.

Jakob read a tale about an Amish girl named Lily and her adventures around the farm. He brought the story to life, using a different voice for each character. When his tone lowered to a deep bass as he read the grandfather’s lines, Abby had to stifle a laugh. Soon, the story ended and Jakob urged the kids to sleep.

Abby peeked around the corner. With the children lying in their separate beds, Jakob snuggled the blankets around each of their chins, then kissed them both on the forehead. She had no doubt he loved his children with all his might. In fact, his show of affection told her that he hadn’t spanked Reuben earlier. If he had, the boy would still be angry and pull away. Wouldn’t he?

“I miss Mammi,” Reuben said.

“Me, too,” Ruby responded.

“I know. But she’s with Gott now. She’s also still here with us, in our hearts. She’ll never leave us,” Jakob said.

“How can she be with Gott and be in our hearts, too?” Ruby asked, her forehead furrowing.

“Because we remember her. If we think of her often and know what she would want us to say and do, she can be with us always. By that way, she lives in our hearts,” Jakob said.

“Truly?” Ruby whispered.

“Truly,” Jakob returned. “But you must be kind to Abby. It’s not her fault that Mamm died. And Abby has her own sadness to deal with, too.”

“Like what?” Reuben asked in a challenging voice.

“Both of her parents are gone and she’s all alone in the world. Life has not been easy for her.”

“Really? She doesn’t even have a familye?” Ruby’s voice sounded so sad.

“Not anymore,” Jakob said. “Just a bruder who never treated her well. She came here looking for a familye of her own.”

“Ach, she can’t have mine. She should go back to Ohio.” Reuben’s tone was heavy with resentment.

“She’s not trying to take any of us away from you, Reuben. She just needs a place to stay. We talked about this, and you will treat Abby with respect. You will treat your schweschder better, too. Understood?”

Abby was glad that Jakob told the boy to treat his sister well. But the boy made no verbal reply, and Abby wondered if he had nodded or merely refused to comply.

“Gutte’ nacht,” Jakob said.

“Ich liebe dich, Daedi,” Ruby called.

“I love you, too, boppli,” Jakob said.

He turned to leave and Abby darted into her room and carefully shut the door. She didn’t want to be caught eavesdropping, and yet she was fascinated by Jakob Fisher and his kinder.

I love you.

The simple words of an innocent child to her father. How Abby longed to hear those words directed at her, but she knew now that it would never be. Other than her mother, no one had ever loved her, except Gott. And as long as she had the Lord on her side, she had faith that all would be well for her. She couldn’t blame Reuben for feeling threatened and wanting to protect his mother’s memory. He was just a young child who missed his mom. And once again, she envied Jakob and his loving, wonderful familye.

Chapter Three

Starlight gleamed through the windows in the dawdy haus. The cloying scent of the spearmint ointment Dawdi used on his arthritic joints lingered in the air. Jakob blinked his eyes, gritty with fatigue, and wished he could sleep. After a restless night, he’d finally dozed off and then awoken two hours early. He couldn’t stop thinking about his father and how he’d arranged to bring Abby Miller to their farm under false pretenses. Nor could he stop worrying about Reuben, or the farm, or his mother, or a million other concerns. He needed to trust the Lord more, but lately his faith had wavered.

Staring into the darkness, Jakob lay on the small twin-size bed inside his grandfather’s room. It had been his grandmother’s bed before she’d died five years earlier. He listened to Dawdi’s low, even snores and remembered a time when he’d been content enough to sleep through the night. Now, he was too troubled to rest more than an hour or two. His racing mind wouldn’t settle down. After several years of drought, they had finally enjoyed a wet winter. They’d made it through the lean times, but they were short on funds and he was eager to get the fields planted so they could sell their crops. Once they delivered the hutch he’d recently finished, the payment would also help.

Sitting up, he tossed the quilt aside and padded across the wood floor in bare feet. In the tiny bathroom, he closed the door before lighting a kerosene lamp. He quickly washed and shaved his upper lip so that no moustache would accompany his tidy beard. Turning the lamp down low, he emerged from the bathroom and dressed in the dark, his grandfather’s snores undisturbed by his movements. Walking outside, he closed the front door quietly behind him and stood on the porch for a moment.

Joe, their black-and-white dog, greeted him. His pink tongue lolled out of his mouth.

“Hallo, boy.” Jakob patted the animal’s head.

The chill morning air embraced him, and he took several deep breaths. Moonlight sprayed across the graveled driveway. His gaze swept over the open fields where their cattle grazed peacefully. A small stream ran past their place, swollen with spring runoff. He should speak with Reuben and Ruby about staying away from the swirling water where it deepened near the irrigation ditch...it could be dangerous to a young child. Thankfully, they should have enough water for their crops this year. Since his father brought his familye to Colorado ten years earlier, they had worked hard to build their farm into a prosperous place to live. Although they earned only half their living off the farm and the rest from the bakery and furniture he sold, Jakob loved it here and hoped to one day pass this land on to his children. Hope for a better future was the main reason his father had brought them here in the first place.

He held the lamp high as he walked to the barn. Joe trotted happily beside him, his stumpy tail wagging. Opening the heavy door, Jakob caught the warm earthy smell of dust, animals and straw.

“Abby!”

She stood in front of the grain bin, fully dressed and holding a silver pail and scoop of chicken feed. Another lamp had been lit and hung on a hook beside her head. The warm glow illuminated her lavender dress, white apron and kapp, making her look small and fragile among the shadows. Her eyes widened with momentary surprise, then she smiled and brushed a hand across her long skirts in a gesture that told him she was suddenly nervous.

“Guder mariye, Jakob.”

“Good morning,” he returned.

He closed the barn door to shut out the chilly air, then walked to her. “Why are you up so early?”

She took two steps back, not quite meeting his eyes. “I couldn’t sleep, so I thought I’d make myself useful. I suspect I’m used to getting up two hours earlier in Ohio.” She glanced at him. “Why are you up so early?”

He shrugged. “The same reason. I couldn’t sleep either, although Ohio has nothing to do with it.”

She laughed, her blue eyes twinkling and her face lighting up. In the lamp glow, she was absolutely stunning and he couldn’t take his eyes off her. He realized she had as many worries on her mind as he did. And for some reason, he wished he could ease her fears and bring her a bit of comfort.

“It appears we both suffer from insomnia,” she said.

“I guess so.” He couldn’t help returning her smile.

Stepping closer, he reached up to remove a piece of straw from her kapp. She jerked back and lifted both hands, as if to protect herself. In the process, she dropped the pail and scoop. Chicken feed spattered across the barn floor. Her breathing quickened, her eyes wide and wary, as if she expected him to strike her.

Jakob drew back in surprise. He held perfectly still, waiting for her to relax. Then he plucked the piece of straw and held it out to her.

“I meant you no harm.” He spoke gently, trying to soften the tense mood. But in his heart, he couldn’t help wondering at her actions.

“Danke.” She stooped over and swept up the spilled feed with her hands, funneling it into the pail.

He noticed that she never turned her back on him, but positioned herself so she could always see him. Something told him it was a protective instinct she’d learned from living with her father and brother, and he couldn’t help wondering if they had a tendency to ambush her when she wasn’t looking.

When he crouched down to help her, she drew away again, her entire body stiff. And then he knew. Simon and her father’s abuse had been worse than he first thought. This gentle, soft-spoken woman was afraid of men.

She was afraid of him.

“I’ll never hurt you, Abby. You are safe here. This I vow,” he said.

She met his gaze, her lips slightly parted. Her eyes filled with doubt, and he wasn’t sure she believed him.

She stood abruptly and gave a nervous laugh. “I had better get the chickens fed. Do you want me to turn them out into the yard, or leave them in the coop?”

“Ja, turn them out. The dog will not bother them, and Dawdi will be here to watch over the place while we go into town.”

“Unless you object, I’ll feed the pigs also,” she said.

He nodded and she hurried to the door, but paused there to look over her shoulder at him. “Are...are we taking the children with us into town?”

Her voice carried a bit of hesitancy, and he didn’t need to ask why. No doubt she was still wary of Reuben and wished to avoid the boy.

“Ja, but we’ll be dropping Reuben off at school. Ruby will spend the day with you and Mamm.”

“Gut. I want to spend more time getting to know Reuben, so that he realizes I mean him no harm. I hope we can one day be friends.”

Once again, she surprised him. She didn’t want to avoid the boy. Instead, she sought the opportunity to be near him. Not what Jakob expected at all.

She stepped outside and closed the barn door. He felt the urge to go after her. To apologize once more for frightening her. To make her laugh again. But he knew that would be a mistake. It might make her think he had changed his mind and wanted to marry her after all. That there could be something between them. And there couldn’t. Not ever.

* * *

“Reuben, get your coat. We’re going to be late,” Naomi called to the boy from the stairs. Her arms were laden with a shallow box of freshly wrapped blueberry muffins.

The boy’s bare feet thudded against the stairs as he ran down them and hurried into the kitchen. He thrust his arms into his plain black sack coat. “Where’s my lunch?”

“Here it is.” Abby turned from the counter, holding a red personal-sized lunch cooler.

He came to a screeching halt. “Did...did you make my lunch?”

She nodded and smiled, handing the cooler to him. “Ja, and I put something extra special inside. I hope you like it.”

He scowled at her but took the handle, careful to avoid touching her hand. As he studied the box, she could tell he wanted to stop right there and open the lid to view the contents, but Naomi called to him again.

“Reuben! Koom on.”

The boy turned and ran outside. Picking up a box that contained six loaves of carefully wrapped homemade bread, Abby followed. On the porch, she set the box down on a table and closed the front door securely behind her.

“I’ll see you all later,” Dawdi Zeke called from near the workshop.

“Vaarwel.” Abby waved as she picked up the box of bread and stepped down off the porch.

Jakob had already pulled the buggy wagon up in front of the house. The back of the wagon was filled with carefully packed breads, rolls, cupcakes, cookies and pies for the bakery. He hopped out of the buggy to help her put the box in the back. As he did so, his hand brushed against hers and she jerked back, the warm feel of his skin zinging up her arm.

Looking up, she noticed that Naomi had managed to climb in the back of the buggy with Reuben and Ruby. That meant Abby would have to ride in the front with Jakob.

He helped her into the buggy, then hurried around to the driver’s seat. Taking the leads in his strong hands, he released the brake and slapped the leather gently against the horse’s back.

“Schritt.”

The horse stepped forward in a steady walk. In the close quarters, Abby gazed out her open window, conscious of Jakob’s knee brushing against her skirts from time to time.

When they reached the county road leading into Riverton, Jakob directed the horse over to the far right side of the road. Several cars and a truck whizzed past, and Abby was relieved when they took a turn onto another dirt road. Within fifteen minutes, they passed wide-open fields and an apple orchard.

“The Beilers live down there.” Naomi pointed. “We buy our apples from them. You’ll meet Lizzie at the bakery. She makes the best pies in the district.”

“Not better than yours, Grossmammi,” Reuben said.

“That’s because I use her crust recipe. It’s so tender and flaky. She’s a very gut cook.” Naomi smiled.

It wouldn’t be appropriate for the woman to brag, but Abby could tell her grandson’s words had pleased her.

Abby saw the schoolhouse long before they reached it. A white frame building with a small bell tower sat amid a fenced-off yard in the middle of a hay field. Two outhouses sat in one isolated corner. A teeter-totter and baseball diamond were the only play equipment in the yard.

The horse pulled the buggy wagon down the lane, and Jakob stopped them just out front of the schoolhouse. Several boys dressed in similar clothes waved at Reuben.

“Mach’s gut.” The boy bid farewell, then hopped out and ran toward them in bare feet.

“Wait! Your lunch,” Abby called.

The boy stopped. Turned. With a huff, he walked back to the wagon. Abby picked up his forgotten cooler and handed it to him with a smile.

“Have a gut day,” she said.

Under the heavy stare of his father, Reuben gave a slight nod, then turned and raced over to his friends.

Jakob made a clicking noise and the horse walked on. They passed another buggy coming into the schoolyard. They waved, but Jakob didn’t stop to chat. Abby could see the woman craning her neck to look at her and was grateful he kept going. She would have plenty of people to meet and questions to answer at church on Sunday.

“Reuben said you put something special in his lunch box,” Ruby said.

Abby turned in her seat, conscious of Jakob’s interest in the conversation. “Ja, that’s true.”

“Is it a real nice surprise?” Ruby asked, obviously digging for more information.

“I think so. Would you like to know what it is?”

The girl nodded eagerly, a wisp of brown hair escaping her small kapp.

Reaching into her purse, Abby withdrew a carefully wrapped bag of chocolate chip cookies tied with a bit of yellow string. While Naomi made breakfast, she’d prepared them for the bakery.

“I was saving the cookies to give to you later on, but if it’s okay with your vadder, you can have them now,” she said.

Ruby leaned forward and pressed her cheek against her father’s shoulder. “May I have them now? Please, Daedi?”

Abby’s heart melted. The girl asked so sweetly that it would be difficult for anyone to refuse her anything.

Jakob chuckled. “Ja, you may.”

Abby handed the cookies over.

“Danke.” The girl undid the string and then made an exclamation of surprise. “Ach, what is this?” she asked, holding up a little slip of paper with writing on it.

“What does it say? Can you read it?” Abby asked, knowing very well what it said since she had written the note.

Ruby tried to sound out the words, but got only the first three correct.

“‘You have an amazing smile.’” Naomi read it out loud for her.

“I do?” Ruby asked.

“You most certainly do,” Jakob said from the front seat.

“Ja, you do.” Abby faced forward and hid a satisfied smile. She’d written something similar on a piece of paper for Reuben, too. Simple words that would hopefully make him smile.

“That’s nice,” Naomi said.

The girl showed the paper to her father. “See what Abby gave me, Daed?”

Jakob nodded, looking at Abby with a thoughtful frown. “Ja, it was very nice of her.”

“I hope it makes you feel gut,” Abby said, thinking that Ruby and Reuben needed to hear something positive for a change. Maybe her notes would help them feel not quite so lonely for their mother.

“When I go to school, I’ll learn to read better.” Ruby tucked the note into her hand, obviously planning to keep it.

“You’ll learn many interesting things in school,” Abby agreed, remembering her own education as some of the fondest times in her life. For those few hours each day, she had been free of her father and brother. Free to be herself. Free to be happy.

After eighth grade, she’d had to return to the house, where she’d been constantly at their mercy. When her father had died three years earlier, she’d had no choice but to live with her brother and his new wife.

“The Hostetlers live down that road. They raise nothing but hay and draft horses. They sell their Percherons to buyers all across the nation. They hire big trucks to come in and transport the hay for them,” Naomi said.

She pointed out several other points of interest as they rode the rest of the way into town. Ruby munched on her cookies, even sharing one with her father. By the time they arrived in the alleyway behind the bakery on Main Street, they were in fairly good spirits.