The Twins' Family Wish

“Mischievous?” Penny supplied and chuckled when he nodded, his look dour.

“Exactly. I hired a very experienced woman named Helga to watch them. One day when she fell asleep Katie tied her shoelaces together. In knots. Helga quit.” He sighed as if her resignation had been unpleasant. “Next I hired a younger person to work with the kids, a guy who had a lot of energy and a list of impressive credentials. He kept the twins busy but he had some, er, unusual ideas about the kind of stories they needed to fuel their imaginations. His vampire tales caused the kids some sleepless nights and neither they nor I could handle all his zombie talk.”

“Oh, dear.” Rick’s fed-up expression forced Penny to stifle her amusement.

“Someone suggested I try a student who was looking for a summer job so I hired my neighbor’s daughter to babysit.”

“That sounds like a good idea,” Penny murmured encouragingly.

“It should have been but she got a little too busy texting her boyfriend and let Katie and Kyle make lunch. My insurance company dropped me after that fiasco and I dropped her.” Rick threw up his hands. “Have I scared you off yet?”

“No. Children need to be kept busy and they require close supervision.” Penny glanced at the twins, trying not to stare at Katie’s almost bald spot. Poor little orphans. “So basically you require someone to care for them while you work.”

“Yes. But everyone I’ve talked to wants a set schedule and I can’t offer that. If something at a job comes up, I have to be there.” He looked—embarrassed? “But that’s not all.”

“It’s not?” Intrigued, Penny waited.

“Actually, my problem is twofold. I’m struggling with leaving the twins with others.” He looked ashamed by the admission and also stubborn, both at the same time. “Katie and Kyle just lost their mother. I want them to feel secure. But whenever I picked them up from daycare, they seemed sad. That’s why I thought having somebody come to my place would be easier for them and maintain some stability in their world.”

“But it also makes finding care more challenging,” she guessed.

“I know.” Rick sighed. “The kids talk about how much they miss Gillian. That’s natural and they don’t do it constantly. But those moments aren’t scripted. They just happen. So I can’t ask them to wait until seven each night or Saturday morning to talk about it. If I’m not there for them when they need me—” His gloomy face revealed how deeply he was torn by the situation. “I’m trying to do my best but sometimes they cry. A lot. I must be doing something wrong.”

“That’s not necessarily true, Rick.” Penny’s heart went out to him. This man was so determined to do the right thing for two bereaved little kids. She admired him very much.

“What do you mean?” Was that hope brightening his dark eyes?

“Being together without Gillian is a time of change for all of you. You’re all in mourning for someone you loved a great deal. Kids often express their feelings by crying.” She smiled at him. “Don’t worry. Those sharing moments will still happen. Katie and Kyle will still turn to you when they need you.” She glanced over one shoulder, noting how well adjusted the twins seemed. “You know there’s nothing wrong with choosing part-time daycare and part-time one-on-one care. Whatever works best for you should drive your decision. That and the twins’ welfare.”

“Are you sure?” He looked relieved when she nodded.

“Positive. To me, Katie and Kyle seem very well adjusted though I haven’t known them long. As long as they know you’ll be there if they need you, I think you’ll see that they will feel secure.” Privately Penny wondered if Rick ever took any time for himself but decided now wasn’t the time to ask.

“So would you be able to care for them? I know that as a teacher you’re around kids all the time and this is your break time—” He stopped when she shook her head.

“Not quite. At school I have children around me for about six hours.” Penny glanced at the twins, smiling at the massive tower they’d built. “Teachers are free at recess and lunch hour. Also, I don’t wake up with children or take them home with me at the end of my day as you do.”

Though I wish I could.

“You’re saying teaching isn’t like parenting. Okay, I get that.” But Rick still didn’t look convinced.

“If I asked, I suspect you’d say building is your passion. Well, kids are mine.” Penny held his gaze as she made her point. “As a teacher, I want the kids I work with to learn strength and self-reliance. I want them to grow into positive adults with the skills that will help them learn how to manage their world.”

“Admirable,” he agreed with a nod. “But it seems like that’s a lot to ask of a teacher in a public school situation.”

“Believe me, in these hard economic times with all the strife in our country, that is something I struggle with every day I teach—to make time for the important stuff.” Penny smiled. “But this is about you, Rick. And the twins. So tell me a little more about your lives.”

“Okay. Gillian and her husband were missionaries in Mali, West Africa. A little over a year ago he died there in an uprising. She was bereft and moved home with the twins. And then Gillian died—” He stopped. Gulped and started again. “The twins have had it very rough. I’m trying to make up for their loss.”

“You can’t, Rick.” It was hard to say but this man needed to hear the truth so in spite of his pinched lips Penny kept going. “It doesn’t matter what you say or how much you do. You will never be able to replace Katie and Kyle’s parents.”

“But—” The poor man looked so devastated that Penny wanted to hug him. Instead she rushed to reassure him.

“What you can do is be the very best uncle you’re able. That’s what they most need right now,” she added.

Just then Katie walked over and snuggled under his arm. Rick smiled at her, brushed a kiss against the top of her shorn head and hugged her close. Thus reassured, Katie skipped back to where her brother played.

“See? You were just there for Katie. That’s what they need.” Penny couldn’t stifle her curiosity about this man and his family. “Do they have grandparents?”

“Two sets. Their dad’s parents live in New Hampshire. They’re still devastated by their son’s death, and ill health makes it tough for them to visit Tucson so I set it up for the kids to Skype with them once a week.” Rick gazed at her as if to ask if he was doing the right thing.

“That’s very smart of you. Keeping family close to us helps lessen a loss.” Or so the books said. Penny didn’t have any family so she had no firsthand experience, but it seemed logical. She waited but when he didn’t say anything more, she asked, “And your parents?”

“They live near Sonoita, which isn’t that far from Tucson, but they’re kept really busy during summer with the lake, their motel and a restaurant so they don’t come here often. I try to run the twins down as often as I can.” Rick stared at the pair with stark grief on his face. “I think it helps ease Mom and Dad’s loss over Gillian when they’re with the twins.”

“I’m sure. Who helps ease your loss?” The moment the question left her lips, Penny regretted asking it. She sounded nosy.

“You’re asking about a wife or a girlfriend?” He shook his dark head. “I was engaged but Gina called it off after the accident. Turns out she didn’t want a marriage with two kids in the mix, which was a good thing to learn then because there was no way I would ever abandon my sister’s children. Not after I—”

I what? she wanted to demand, frustrated that he left the words hanging.

Penny waited for Rick to pull himself out of the introspection he’d fallen in. She truly admired his sturdy love and commitment for the two orphaned children. Liked his tough determination to do the best for them. He was kind, generous and sincere. Best of all, he was one of those men who paid attention to the most important things in life—like family.

Penny knew that if she took on the twins she’d enjoy friendship with Rick, too, but she’d have to get rid of that flutter of appreciation that winked inside her when he looked at her. He was extremely good-looking despite the scar and he had a warm, engaging personality.

But Penny had allowed herself to fall in love twice and both times it had backfired, leaving her decimated and filled with crippling self-worth. She was better now, more in control. Enough so that she had vowed she would never again depend on any man to fulfill her dreams or to create her happily-ever-after. Instead she was going to focus on making her dreams come true on her own.

Well, with God’s help.

Romance? Well, if it came along sometime in the future, she’d consider it. But she wasn’t going to look for love. Love was something for the future. Maybe. Not now. Not even if Rick Granger made her heart pitter-patter and her stomach beat in time to a Sousa march.

Penny had survived the worst. Now she was looking for the best God had to offer. Getting dumped when her world was falling apart had taught her self-reliance.

Despite this hunky uncle and his adorable twins, she wasn’t going to risk heartache again.

* * *

“Does teaching help you know so much about kids?” Rick asked, glancing at Penny’s bare ring finger. “Because you said you don’t have your own kids.”

“I guess.” She pinched her lips together but when he raised an eyebrow she explained in a tight, strained voice. “I’m neither married nor a mom.”

“Seems like a mistake on some man’s part.” He shrugged at her surprised look. “You’re beautiful and smart and educated.”

“Well, thank you. I think.” The perky smile Penny usually wore disappeared, leaving her looking like a wounded bird, ducking her head against her chest as if she was uncomfortable.

Funny. Rick barely knew her and yet he couldn’t imagine Penny without children around her. She’d been so good with Katie that night at the store.

“You don’t want a family?”

“It’s impossible.” Clearly she did not want to talk about it. “To get back to babysitting the twins. As you know, I’m helping Sophie organize Wranglers Ranch Day Care. That means that when it’s up and running you’ll be able to bring Katie and Kyle here while you’re working on-site building the cabins, right?”

“That’s what she said. But what about until then? And when I finish the job here, what do I do? The twins will still need someone to care for them on the days they don’t attend school.” Stymied and eager for her advice, Rick was pretty sure getting to know this lady would be very interesting.

“I can help you out occasionally,” Penny offered. “And I might know an older lady who could alternate with me, if needed.” Her eyes were once more that desert-sky blue, rich and fathomless. Penny Stern might look frail and delicate with those silvery-blond wisps framing her gamine face, but Rick had a hunch that this woman had the courageous heart of a lioness. “Would that work?”

“Yes, but what about you?” Rick studied her. “Summer is your vacation. Don’t you have plans?”

“Not really. I was going to go water-skiing with my friend and her husband. That’s my most favorite thing to do. But they’re using their summer break to tour Australia.” Penny shrugged as if it didn’t matter. “I’ll probably head to the beach for a weekend here and there, do some painting at my house, volunteer for Vacation Bible School at church in August. Stuff like that.” She grinned. “And watch Katie and Kyle.”

It sounded boring and the very last thing Rick would have thought about Penny Stern was that she lived a boring life.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” When she nodded, he told her as much as he could about his schedule, emphasizing that he often had to change the times when he picked up the twins. “I need to keep all my men working so I’m back and forth between sites a lot, troubleshooting and fixing issues that come up, sometimes at odd hours.”

“Must be demanding.” She studied him then glanced at the clock on the wall. “What about now? Do you have today off?”

“I wish.” He barked a laugh. “I’ve got to be on-site to pour a foundation in half an hour. The agency couldn’t find a sitter on such short notice so I guess the twins will just have to come along.”

Rick hated doing that because it would be so dull for them. Construction job sites were just about the worst place for kids, but after yesterday afternoon’s fiasco when the temporary sitter had lost Katie at the park for over two hours before calling him, he had no choice. He wouldn’t leave them with her again.

“Um, can I ask what happened to Katie’s pigtails?” Penny murmured, studying the back of the little girl’s head with a frown.

So much for being a capable parent.

“She cut them off.” Rick squirmed, knowing Penny would bawl him out for his carelessness.

“She got hold of scissors?” There was nothing in Penny’s voice that accused him but Rick felt guilty all the same.

“My electric razor. Last night.” He heaved a sigh. “I thought they were asleep. I should have been doing books but I conked out. Something woke me up. Katie was in the bathroom, half-shorn, and most of her hair was in the sink. Kyle had dared her and Katie never refuses a dare.” He raked a frustrated hand through his hair when his phone made a noise. “Excuse me.” He scanned the text then quickly rose. “I need to go. When would you be able to care for the kids?”

“I could start now.” Penny also rose and smiled at him. “Are you sure you trust me, Rick?”

“You come highly recommended by Tanner and Sophie. I trust them implicitly.” He made a face. “Anyway, I doubt you can do worse at childcare than me.”

“Given the state of Katie’s hair that’s not exactly a vote of confidence,” she teased then shrugged. “Don’t beat yourself up, Rick. She didn’t get hurt and hair grows back. Kids do things that are utterly unpredictable.”

“Not to you, I’ll wager.” He watched her face, saw distaste in the way she wrinkled her pert nose.

“You think?” Penny gave a half laugh and shook her head. “A student once brought a snake to school in his backpack. He hadn’t told his parents he’d found it. A python. He put it in my desk.” She nodded at his disbelief. “True story.”

Rick liked the way her eyes sparkled with amusement. Penny didn’t take her world too seriously it seemed. “What did you do?”

“I prayed. Really, really hard. Then closed the drawer and called the janitor.” She smiled. “So you fell asleep last night. You were tired and who wouldn’t be? Caring for one child is taxing. You have two to watch over and you’re not used to doing it.”

He opened his mouth to protest but Penny held up a hand.

“It will get easier, I promise. Why don’t you take today off as a caregiver, focus on work and leave the kids with me? I’ll take Katie to get a haircut, if that’s okay with you?” Penny waited until he nodded.

Rick was happy to turn that task over to her. He figured she’d know more than he did about little girls’ hairstyles.

“After a trim we’ll think of something fun we can do for the rest of the day.” She did not seem fazed by the prospect. “Do they have allergies to anything?”

“No.” Rick wanted so badly to accept but something inside him hesitated. What if—

“It’s really okay, Uncle Rick.” Penny didn’t sound irritated by his indecision. “I won’t let anything happen to them. I promise.” She wrote on a piece of paper then held it out. “My cell phone number.”

“Thank you.” This is an answer to prayer, stupid. Take it! “Here’s mine.” He waited till she’d written it down then called, “Katie and Kyle, can you come here for a moment?”

Rick carefully explained to the twins that they were going to stay with Penny for a while. Katie’s lip trembled for about a nanosecond, until Penny mentioned a water park. Both kids whooped for joy.

“But their swimsuits—I didn’t bring them.” Rick frowned at her.

“I’ll handle it.” What assurance those words held.

He had to ask. “Are you sure?”

“Positive. We’re going to have so much fun.” Penny’s face glowed when she smiled and suddenly any reservation he felt was gone. “Call me to pick them up whenever you’re ready. We’ll be fine. Guys, let’s go get your car seats and say goodbye to Uncle Rick.”

A second summons from his phone forced Rick to leave more quickly than he wanted but as he drove away, he saw Penny pushing a laughing Katie on a swing in the yard outside the daycare building while Kyle whooped as he raced down a slide.

Rick smiled as he waved but his thoughts were on the past. If only he hadn’t let Gillian die. If only he’d run faster, forced himself through that choking blanket of smoke a second time, pushed through the searing pain of those burning embers on his face to get to her. Maybe, just maybe—

With a sigh of resignation Rick headed toward the job site. Recriminations didn’t help. Somehow he’d have to readjust his focus on the present and not the past so the twins didn’t suffer.

At least he had Penny’s help. For now.

Rick liked the pretty woman a lot, liked her spirit and unstinting kindness. Liked the fearlessness in her face when she broached a subject. But liking was all he would allow. He had to concentrate his entire focus on the kids, on making their world as happy as Gillian would have. It didn’t matter what he gave up. It was all about them and that meant he had no time for romance. Rick would have gladly sacrificed a lot more than that if he could have his sister back.

Since he couldn’t he would spend every day making the world the best it could be for Katie and Kyle and he’d take Penny’s help every time she offered. Help and friendship, yes.

Anything more wasn’t possible.

Chapter Three

Hungry, dirty and very weary by the time he arrived at Penny’s that evening, Rick paused a moment to survey her home. The lovely adobe structure in the old Southwest style had a rose trellis climbing up the outside walls and a towering saguaro cactus that shielded the front windows from the heat of the desert sun.

Though he didn’t yet know Penny well, he thought the house suited her. It was warm and inviting just like she was. Maybe sometime down the road he could ask her for hints on how to make his ranch as hospitable.

Keep focused on today.

“Come on in, Rick,” Penny invited in a friendly though hushed voice. “The twins are asleep. I’m afraid I wore them out.”

“Great. Then they should sleep well tonight.” And maybe without a nightmare. “I’ll get their car seats then load them up so we can get out of your hair,” he said, admiring the homeyness she’d created inside. This was a place where a family could relax and enjoy each other; you could see the hospitality in the warm colors and soft welcoming furniture. So why did Penny always seem to be alone? “I’m sorry it took me so long.”

“No problem. I’m having cookies and lemonade. Want to join me?” Wearing a sleeveless bright yellow top and white shorts, Penny’s bare feet and tousled blond hair made her look cool and comfortable, a far cry from the worn-out caregiver he’d expected to find. “The twins helped me bake the cookies so you have to try some.”

“Uh—okay.” Like it was a hardship. Rick was starving. “I hope you didn’t have any trouble getting them to eat supper? They’re picky eaters, I know.”

“I roasted a chicken with some new potatoes and spring vegetables. They seemed to enjoy it.” Penny frowned at him, making Rick wonder if his tongue was hanging out at the sound of roast chicken. “Did you eat dinner?”

“No time to eat today. It was crazy busy. I’ll get something when I get the twins to bed.” He said it quickly with a shrug, downplaying it so he wouldn’t look like he was asking Penny to feed him. No way did he want to impose on this woman’s generosity. Caring for the twins for an entire day was far more than he’d dared to hope for.

“There are plenty of leftovers, Rick. I’ll heat a plate for you.” Before he could object Penny had opened the fridge and was pulling out containers. “I always make way too much,” she said when she noticed his surprise at the amount of food she was removing. Her cheeks pinked, enhancing her blue eyes. “Roast chicken is my favorite meal. It always makes me think of family dinners and...”

Her voice trailed away as she turned, set the filled plate in the microwave and started it.

“Do you have a big family?” Penny’s comments gave Rick an opportunity to satisfy his curiosity about her.

“Actually, I’m an orphan.” She looked a little wistful as she explained. “Apparently I was about two days old when I was found on some church steps in Seattle. I’ve never discovered who left me there or why. But I used to imagine—” She stopped, swallowed then focused on him. “Anyway, my childhood was nothing like yours.”

“Mine?” He frowned. “How did you—?”

“The twins, of course.” She grinned at him. “They said you and their mother grew up with your family beside a lake here in Arizona.” Penny shook her head. “How blessed were you?”

“Very blessed,” he agreed. “I had a great childhood.” He watched as she poured a big glass of lemonade and set it in front of him. Cookies sat piled high on a platter in the middle of the table. “Chocolate chip?” He was surprised when she shook her head.

“As a treat for sitting so still while we had Katie’s hair cut, I bought the twins ice cream cones at the water park. I thought it would be wise to tone down the rest of the sugar content today so these are coconut oatmeal with a bit of honey as a sweetener. Try one,” she invited, then as the microwave beeped revised, “Or maybe after you eat dinner.”

Penny’s roast chicken dinner was delicious. Rick savored every bite of his abundant serving then finished it off with a third glass of lemonade.

“This is really delicious,” he said, savoring the tangy flavor. “What kind is it?”

“Uh, lemonade.” Penny looked confused by the question.

“I meant what brand.” When she frowned he immediately realized his mistake. “This isn’t from a package, or frozen, is it?” When she shook her head, Rick noticed the bits of lemon floating among the chunks of ice and a couple of seeds that must have slipped in. “I haven’t had real lemonade since I don’t know when. It’s very good. Did the kids drink it?”

“Of course.” She frowned. “Why wouldn’t they? They helped make it.”

“Katie and Kyle made and drank real lemonade?” Rick couldn’t wrap his mind around it. “You must be Wonder Woman.”

“Hardly.” Penny’s lilting laughter filled the room but it was her face that held his attention. Though her eyes sparkled with fun, behind that he saw a steely willpower. “I offered them two choices, lemonade or water. They drank both but seemed to prefer the lemonade.”

“Huh. Seems like I’m always buying juice for them, even though I know it’s full of sugar.” As usual, guilt rushed in. “Gillian made her own juice,” he mumbled, feeling inadequate.

“Rick, you can’t do everything she did,” Penny said in a quiet voice. “And I doubt she’d expect you to.”

Funny that he’d never considered Gillian’s expectations of him.

“The twins shared some of their memories after we had dinner tonight. I know that Gillian was a great mom.” Her smile altered; she grew more serious. “The thing is, Rick, a great mom has just one desire for her kids, one thing she wants above all else.”

“Which is?” He waited, his interest in her opinion growing.

“A mom who truly loves her kids wants the person who cares for them when she can’t to love them as much as she would. Just like you do.” Penny’s kind words soothed and comforted him. “I can tell that you love Katie and Kyle very much. You’re doing exactly what Gillian would have wanted.”

“Except it’s not enough.” As soon as he said it Rick wished he hadn’t.

He was so tired, worn out with trying to be all things for his business, the twins and his overworked parents. He hadn’t been able to get out to the lake and help them begin the summer season, as he usually did. Greg’s illness meant he hadn’t been able to spend as much time with his parents, helping them deal with Gillian’s death. Neither had he been able to get the twins out to the lake as frequently as he should have so his grieving parents could find some solace in their daughter’s children.