An Unlikely Daddy

Much to her surprise, Marisa felt her mood elevating. Having dinner with Julie and Ryker might well be enjoyable, especially since Julie never pulled her punches.

But the instant she felt her spirits improve, she felt guilty, and her thoughts tried to return to Johnny and his death. For the first time, it occurred to her that she shouldn’t feel guilty every time she enjoyed something. In her heart of hearts, she knew Johnny wouldn’t have wanted that. She shouldn’t want it, either. Grieving was hard enough without adding guilt to the mix every time she knew a few moments of respite from the loss. Julie was right, fifty years was too long to waste.

So she pushed the guilt down and focused instead on the here and now. Julie been trying to tell her for some time that there was no proper way to grieve, no set of requirements to be met. Her heart had been ripped wide open, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t allow herself to heal.

Locking herself in a permanent purgatory helped no one. It didn’t bring Johnny back, and it wouldn’t be fair to her baby. Time for some stiff upper lip.

“I was thinking it’s time to shop for the baby,” she remarked as Julie began to scoop chicken and vegetables into the casserole.

“I saw the list on the fridge. About time, kiddo. But first we’ll have the shower. Friday evening. Then I can go shopping with you on Saturday. Or if you really want to splurge, we can go to Casper or Denver. It might do you some good to get away.”

Indeed it might. “You’re the best, Julie.”

“I know.” Julie flashed a grin over her shoulder. “The world spins because of me.”

Marisa actually laughed. That made two laughs in one day. Maybe she was improving.

Ryker arrived just as Julie was popping the casserole into the oven and setting a timer. “I’ll get it,” she said when the bell rang. “I want a first view all to myself.”

“Do you want a spear and shield, too?” Marisa tried to joke.

“My tongue can take care of all that. Just relax.”

Marisa listened to the greetings at the door and thought it all sounded pleasant enough. Julie apparently gave Ryker time to doff his jacket and gloves in the hall, then the two of them returned to the kitchen. She didn’t feel tension between them, but somehow she didn’t think that would last. She knew Julie too well.

Once they were all seated around the wooden table, Julie plunged right into the inquisition. “So what took you so long to get here?”

Ryker arched one brow. “Meaning?”

“Well, the funeral was nearly six months ago. Most planes are faster than that.”

Marisa battled an urge to quell Julie, realizing that she needed to hear some of this, too. And count on Julie to address it baldly.

Ryker rested his arms on the table. He wore a gray Yale sweatshirt that looked as if it had seen a lot of washings. “It depends on whether we can take a break,” he answered. “I couldn’t get away. Not then.”

“But six months?”

Marisa felt this was a bit unfair. She opened her mouth to say so, but Ryker spoke first. “Sometimes one is in a situation that one can’t walk away from. Not even for the death of a family member.”

“Now that’s mysterious,” Julie popped back. “I guess it’ll stay that way, won’t it?”

“I’m afraid so. There are things I can’t talk about. Marisa knows that. There were things Johnny couldn’t talk about, either.”

“I get it,” Julie said pleasantly enough. “So, what happened to Johnny? And how about a truthful version?”

Relax? Julie had told her to relax and now she was delving into this? Marisa wanted to get up and leave, but Julie had arranged her chair so that Marisa couldn’t. Damn!

“I was told the same thing Marisa was. That’s all I know.”

“Officially, anyway,” Julie said bluntly. “I guess that’s all anyone will know.”

Then Ryker surprised Marisa by getting angry. He’d seemed so self-contained until that moment, but a definite edge crept into his voice, and his dark eyes sparked. “That’s more than some people get, Julie. Some never know anything at all.” He started to push back from the table, but Julie’s hand shot out and caught him by the arm. He looked at her grip on him, and Marisa was sure he could have shaken it away like a fly.

“I’m sorry,” Julie said. “I’m worried about Marisa. She’s my friend, and you popped up out of nowhere at a very late date.”

Ryker turned his gaze on Marisa. “You couldn’t have asked me this yourself? You needed someone else to speak for you?”

“I asked you last night,” she reminded him, her heart thumping. He appeared to relax a hair, and Julie released his arm.

“Look,” he said, “I didn’t come here to make your life harder. I came because John asked me to. I came as soon as I could get away. But if it’ll save you problems, I can leave right now. I’d feel bad about it, because I said I’d be here for you, but if you don’t want me around, then it hardly matters what I promised.”

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