The Feud

Eddie nodded. ‘Good lad. Now, a few ground rules. You don’t say a word to anyone about anything we do. Birds, mates, family – not a soul. If anyone asks, you’re a debt collector.’

Raymond nodded. He understood perfectly.

Deep in thought, Eddie tilted his head. ‘I think it’s probably for the best that I lend you some dough and you get your own place. If any shit hits the fan, you don’t want your parents involved, do you?’

‘I’ve been wanting to leave home for ages anyway. I think the world of me mum and dad, but they do me head in,’ Raymond said frankly.

‘First thing on Monday, Ray, I’m gonna take you out, rent you somewhere and get you kitted out as well. Remember one golden rule: a man is always judged on what he wears. You’ve always got to look the part, wear good clobber. We’ll go up Savile Row and get you a couple of suits from there.’

‘Daddy, what are you doing out here? I want you to see my new toy.’

Eddie picked up Frankie and held her in his left arm. He held his right out to Raymond. ‘Welcome to the family, son.’

After a couple more Scotches, Stanley’s stomach had settled and he was now on the floor playing with the twins.

‘What you got, then? What’s Nanny and Grandad brought you?’ Eddie said, kneeling down.

‘I’ve got a Madame Alexander doll, and Joey’s got a Tonka truck,’ Frankie said proudly.

Eddie admired their gifts and, noticing Gary and Ricky sitting alone, he stood up and walked towards them. ‘You all right, boys?’

‘I’m OK,’ Gary said.

‘Me too,’ said Ricky.

Eddie sat in between them and put an arm around each of them. He’d had the hump earlier when he couldn’t find out who had brought the poxy house he’d wanted and he shouldn’t have taken it out on them for having a dip. ‘Sorry for shouting at you earlier. Listen, I’ll do you a deal. Go and pour your old dad a drink and you can both have a can of lager.’

Gary smiled. ‘Can we really?’

‘Just the one, mind. Now move your arses, ’cause Daddy’s thirsty.’

Eddie felt a pang of guilt as they ran excitedly from the room. They must feel left out sometimes with all the attention showered upon the twins. The poor little sods didn’t have much of a home life and they were good kids at heart.

‘Christ, you must have poured half the bottle in there,’ Ed said to Gary, as he was handed a full glass of Scotch.

Urging the boys to sit down next to him, he told them about his plans for the following weekend. ‘Grandad Harry is organising a surprise party for your Uncle Reg to celebrate his retirement, so we’re going to that on Friday, and you know Pat Murphy who owns that old converted farmhouse not far from here?’

Ricky looked bemused, but Gary nodded. ‘Is that the man you took us to see, he used to be a boxer?’

‘Yep, that’s the one. Well, every year he has this big bank-holiday party, where he invites all his family, all his mates and the neighbours. Well, as we’re neighbours now, we’ve got an invite. I’ve never been before, but it’s meant to be the bollocks. He has everything there, rides for the kids, a boxing ring, there’s a barbecue, a disco. It’s next Sunday, so do yous boys fancy it?’

‘Yeah. Can I have a go at the boxing?’ Gary asked.

‘Me too. I wanna box as well,’ Ricky said.

Eddie gently banged their heads together. ‘Only if you behave yourselves in between.’

‘We will, we promise,’ they both said.

Gary and Ricky both loved boxing. Eddie had sent them up to Peacock Gym in Canning Town at quite a young age and they were both good little prospects, according to their trainer.

Hyped up, Gary and Ricky went out the back to practise their sparring.

‘What party’s that, then?’ Jessica asked, sitting down next to Eddie.

‘Pat Murphy’s. The kids will love it. He has clowns, all sorts of entertainment for them, it’ll give you a chance to meet some of the other wives as well. Next Sunday, it is.’

Jessica squeezed his hand. He was such a softie, her Ed. A real family man. ‘It sounds wonderful. Roll on next week,’ she said, kissing him gently.

‘Mum, Dad, Joey won’t give me my new doll back,’ Frankie whinged.

Seeing his son cradle the doll, Eddie bent down and snatched it away from him. ‘The Tonka truck’s yours. Boys don’t play with dolls, Joey.’

Lip trembling, Joey looked at his father. ‘Sorry, Daddy.’

Eddie put on some music and the rest of the evening swam by.

‘Do you want my body, am I really sexy?’ Joyce sang, getting all Rod Stewart’s lyrics wrong.

Aware that she was pointing at him, Stanley turned his back. ‘Don’t start all that, Joycie, will yer?’

Not used to drinking large amounts of alcohol, Joyce felt her legs go from under her. ‘Oh dear, I think I’m drunk,’ she said, as she clung on to the sofa for dear life.

‘Are you OK, Mum?’ Jessica said, helping her up.

‘Yes, dear. Actually, I feel wonderful.’

Embarrassed, as he’d never witnessed either of his parents so pissed before, Raymond jumped into action. ‘I think we should all call it a night now and get some shut-eye. Give me a hand, Dad, to help Mum up the stairs.’

Used to being told what to do, Stanley jumped to order. ‘Goodnight all,’ he yawned.

Eddie winked at Raymond. ‘I hope the sofa’s comfortable enough for ya. I’ll put the kids to bed and we’ll speak again in the morning,’ he said.

The twins were crashed out on the floor, so Jessica lifted up Joey and Eddie grabbed Frankie. ‘Where’s Gary and Ricky?’ she asked.

Eddie laughed. ‘I told ’em they could have one can of lager and I’m sure the little bastards had about three. I had to help them into bed about an hour ago. I put ’em in Joey’s room.’

Jessica giggled. It had been their first proper get-together in their new home and she had loved every single minute of it.

Whether it was due to the amount of sherry she’d drunk, Joyce wasn’t sure, but for the first time in years, she felt amorous. ‘Stanley, wake up,’ she said, poking her husband in the ribs.

Receiving no response, she moved her hand around a bit. ‘Stanley,’ she said seductively.

Aware of a hand around his cobblers, Stanley jumped up like a bush kangaroo. ‘What the fuck! What are you doing, woman? Have you gone mad?’

Jessica just happened to be passing the guest room as her father bolted out in his Y-fronts.

‘Whatever’s the matter?’ she asked, noticing his shocked expression.

Stanley held his hand over his parcel. ‘It’s your mother – she’s having a funny turn.’

‘What, is she ill?’ Jessica said, panicking.

‘No, not that kind of funny turn,’ Stanley said, embarrassed.

Realising what had happened, Eddie grabbed Jessica and dragged her into their bedroom. Hysterical, he could barely speak for laughing.

‘Your mother’s after a bunk-up.’

‘Oh, don’t say that,’ Jessica said, mortified.

Hearing raised voices, Jessica poked her head around the bedroom door.

‘I mean it, Joycie, if you touch me again in that way, I’ll go and sleep downstairs in the armchair,’ she heard her father say.

Hand over her mouth, Jessica stood in stupefied shock. ‘I can’t believe it,’ she said to Eddie.

Unable to stop laughing, Eddie grabbed her and threw her onto the bed. ‘You are so naive, Jessica Mitchell, and do you know what? I fucking well love you for it.’

TEN

AFTER DROPPING HIS two boys home early on Sunday evening, Eddie shot up to the Flag for a prearranged meet with his dad, brothers and uncle.

As he explained that he’d offered Raymond a place in the family firm, Ronny flew into one of his tantrums. ‘He’s a fucking outsider. How do you know he ain’t a grass? He could rob us blind for all you know,’ he screamed at Eddie.

Harry Mitchell did his best to defuse the situation. He took Ronny outside the pub and, knowing the best way to handle his son, spoke to him gently and respectfully.

‘Look, Ronny, I know you’ve got your doubts about Ed taking on someone new, but he knows what he’s doing. Raymond’s no stranger to us. He’s been working for Eddie on the scrap for years and seeing as he’s Jessica’s brother, he’s got family ties with us, ain’t he?’

‘But I don’t wanna share my cut of the profits. The fact is, Dad, we don’t need anybody else, especially a fucking kid,’ Ronny argued.

Harry put an arm around his shoulder. ‘Look, Raymond’s only on trial at first. Chances are, he might not be what Eddie’s looking for and it won’t work out anyway. If you’re concerned about him being young and wet behind the ears, have a word with Eddie, get him to set up a task, see if Raymond’s cut out for our line of work.’

The fact that his dad was taking him seriously for once was enough to make Ronny calm down. ‘Maybe you’re right, Dad. Testing the cunt out ain’t such a bad idea. There’s a couple of people been fucking around with us lately. That big skinhead geezer, Mad Dave, owes us a lot of wedge and ain’t breaking his neck to pay it back. How about if the wonderful Raymond pays him a visit? Mad Dave’s about six foot three. He’s a massive bastard, with arms like tree trunks. Let’s see how the dear little apprentice pits his wits against him, eh?’

Harry led his son back inside the pub. ‘Don’t rub Eddie up the wrong way now. Just put your idea forward sensibly,’ he urged Ronny.

Eddie sat in silence as he listened to Ronny’s plan.

‘I think it’s a great idea,’ Paulie said immediately.

Reg glanced at Eddie and shrugged. ‘I suppose even if the kid gets a pasting, it’ll show us what he’s made of.’

Eddie shook his head. ‘For fuck’s sake, Raymond’s only twenty-three – can’t we test him out on someone else? Making him confront Mad Dave on his tod is like slinging him into a cage of starved lions.’

Looking at his dad for support, Eddie was surprised when, for once, he didn’t receive any.

‘I was thrown in at the deep end when I was a lad. Never did me any harm,’ Harry said honestly.

Aware that he was alone in fighting Raymond’s corner, Eddie had no choice other than to agree to the ridiculous idea.

‘Fine, it that’s what everyone wants, then I’ll sort it,’ he said.

Unaware of the big task he had coming his way, Raymond was up a 5 a.m. the following Monday morning.

‘Christ, what’s up with you? Shit the bed or something?’ Stanley asked, as his son plonked himself down opposite him.

‘I’m just really excited, Dad. Starting me new job today, ain’t I? Couldn’t sleep last night at all, so I thought I’d get up and pester you before you went to work.’

Stanley offered his son a piece of toast. ‘What’s this job all about then? I know you said you’re going to be debt collecting, but what sort of people are you going to be dealing with?’

‘I don’t know yet. Eddie’s picking me up at nine. He’s taking me out to buy me some good clothes. He says I have to look the part for this kind of job.’

Suddenly losing his appetite, Stanley threw his toast in the bin and turned away from his overly enthusiastic son. He didn’t like the sound of this new job, not one little bit and he feared for the safety of Raymond.

Stanley buttoned his shirt up and put on his uniform jacket. He sat down opposite Raymond and shook his hand. ‘Good luck, son. I hope it all goes well for you, but will you promise me one thing?’

‘What’s that, Dad?’

‘Promise me if the job turns out to be dangerous in any way, you’ll walk away and look for something else.’

Raymond nodded. His father was such an old stick-in-the-mud, but he meant well. ‘I promise, Dad,’ he said untruthfully.

Whether the job was dangerous or not, Raymond had no intention of walking away from it. He had been waiting for an opportunity like this all his life, and he would do literally anything to impress Eddie and secure his place in the family firm.

‘Goodbye son, see you tonight,’ Stanley shouted.

Raymond sighed as his father shut the front door. How he could sit on that stinking bus every day, being abused by schoolchildren, Ray would never know. It was watching the old man come home moaning about his job every night that had given Raymond the determination to make something of his own life. He loved his dad dearly, but would rather die than end up like him.

‘Morning, darling. I’m so excited for you. Now, let your old mum cook you a nice bit of egg and bacon. You need to keep your strength up if you’re gonna be working with Eddie and his brothers.’

Raymond shook his head. ‘Thanks, Mum, but I’ve already eaten. I haven’t had a bath yet, so I’d best go and get meself ready.’

Joyce smiled as he bolted upstairs. Her Raymond working with Eddie and his brothers had made her the proudest mother in the universe and she couldn’t wait to tell her friends. Hilda and Rita would be so jealous. Both their sons had crappy jobs and not much to show for their lives. Raymond had always been far too intelligent to end up like them.

Eddie picked Raymond up at nine on the dot. ‘I’ve found you a flat. It belongs to a mate of mine who’s doing a bit of bird. It’s fully furnished and he only wants a score a week rent. I’ll take you there now, it’s in Dagenham, and it’s only ten minutes away from me and Jess.’

Eddie said very little as Raymond walked around the flat and studied the joint. It was very basic, but clean and certainly liveable.

‘Whaddya think?’ Eddie asked, once Ray had looked in every room.

‘Yeah, it’s OK. Beats listening to me parents argue,’ Raymond said bluntly.

‘Once you find your feet, you can get yourself somewhere better. It’ll do you until then, though. Get your stuff packed up tonight and I’ll pick you up in the morning and help you move in,’ Eddie told him.

Raymond looked at Eddie in amazement. He hadn’t expected things to move this quickly; he thought he’d be moving in a month or so. He hadn’t even told his parents that he was leaving home yet. ‘It’s a bit quick, ain’t it, Ed? Can’t I move in in a couple of weeks? It’ll give me more time to sort stuff out.’

Eddie shook his head. ‘If you’re gonna be working with me, you definitely need your own space. Too many eyes, too many questions, Raymond.’

Raymond nodded. He could hardly argue with Eddie, could he now? He forced a smile. ‘Tomorrow it is, then.’

The next step was Savile Row, where Eddie forked out on two suits, four shirts, three ties and a pair of black leather shoes. Eddie had known the guy who owned the tailor’s shop for years.

‘Seeing as my family are your best customers, how quick can you get one of them suits altered for me?’ he asked.

‘It’ll be done by tomorrow afternoon, Mr Mitchell,’ came the owner’s reply.

‘There’s nothing like people showing you a bit of respect, Raymond. One day that will be you, son,’ Eddie said, as he guided him towards a posh restaurant.

With the menu written in French, Raymond urged Eddie to order for the both of them.

‘And bring over a bottle of your finest champagne as well,’ Eddie told the waiter.

Sipping the bubbly, Eddie and Raymond chatted about Jessica and the kids until their food arrived.

Raymond, who was by now starving, bolted his down within minutes. ‘Nice bit of grub, ain’t it, Ed?’

Eddie laughed. ‘It’s OK, I’ve had better.’

Already loving his new life, Raymond gladly accepted the offer of another bottle of champagne.

Clearing his throat, Eddie decided it was time to drop the bombshell. In detail, he explained the conversation he’d had with his family and the task Raymond had been given.

‘So where do I find this Mad Dave?’ Raymond asked immediately.

‘He owns a two-bob car lot on an industrial estate in Leyton. He’s in a right remote spot at the back of it. There’s a young bird works for him, calls herself his secretary, but really he’s shafting her behind his old woman’s back. I can’t remember the bird’s name, but she’s about eighteen, a single mum and she leaves at three to pick her kid up from school. Mad Dave ain’t got many friends – horrible cunt he is – so chances are, once she’s gone, he’ll definitely be on his Jack Jones.’

‘How much does he owe you?’ Raymond asked calmly.

Eddie was pleased, but also quite taken aback by the kid’s attitude. He seemed keen to pass the task and Ed hoped that it wasn’t just the champagne talking.

‘Eight grand he’s fucked me over for. He brought a load of hooky motors off of me. He owed ten altogether, but he paid back two, then he came out with some cock and bull about the Old Bill nicking the cars off him. It’s a load of old bollocks, I know it is, but he’s been fobbing me off ever since. I try and be fair with people, Ray, but I’ll be honest with you, if I still hadn’t got me dough by the end of this month, I was gonna do the cunt meself.’

‘Can I take something with me to use if I need to?’ Raymond asked.

‘I’ll give you something to carry. I’ve got a cosh, a baseball bat – you can take whatever you want. Anyway, you ain’t gotta worry. Me and the boys will sit just outside the gate. Any agg, we’ll be there like a shot, mate.’

Raymond smiled. He’d never suffered from having a nervous disposition and he wasn’t about to get one now. He needed this job and he would do whatever he had to, to prove his worth. ‘I’ve got me own tool, I’ll use that, and thanks anyway, but I’m sure I won’t need any help.’

Eddie was stunned by the boy’s coolness. ‘Be warned, Ray, Mad Dave’s a big old lump. A wanker he is, but a pushover he ain’t.’

Smiling, Raymond topped up both of their glasses. ‘To me and Mad Dave. May the best man win, eh?’

Two days later, all Savile Rowed up, Raymond sat in the back of a white transit van alongside Eddie, Ronny and Paulie. Uncle Reg had donned his check cap and pipe, and had offered his services to drive.

‘I wore this just in case we were seen. I look like some OAP on a jolly boys’ outing, no one’s gonna clock us with me driving,’ he laughed.

‘So you’re ready to play with the big boys are you, Ray?’ Ronny asked sarcastically.

Raymond could tell immediately that Ronny didn’t want him in the firm and was determined to prove him wrong. ‘More than ready,’ he answered politely.

‘Next on your right, Reg. You know where it is, don’t you? Straight down the bottom of that road.’

‘Don’t worry, I know I’ve semi-retired meself, but I ain’t fucking senile yet,’ Reg said jokingly.

Ronny nudged Paulie as they pulled up outside Mad Dave’s appalling-looking car site. ‘I’d love to be a fly on the wall, wouldn’t you?’ he whispered.

Paulie ignored him. Whatever the end result, this kid had bigger bollocks than most.

‘What tool did you bring?’ Eddie asked, as he opened the back door.

From nowhere, Raymond pulled out the biggest butcher’s knife Eddie had ever seen. ‘Fucking hell. Where did you get that from?’

‘I used to be a butcher, didn’t I? And I know exactly how to use it. Now, are you sure his bird’s gone home?’

Eddie urged Reg to poke his head around the gate.

‘She drives a light-blue Ford Fiesta and parks it just on the right as you go in.’

Within seconds, Reg hobbled back, giving the thumbs up.

Ronny sat quietly as Raymond stepped out of the van and strolled into the car lot like he owned the place. Flash little cunt, I hope he comes unstuck, he thought to himself.

With the knife tucked firmly down the inside of his jacket, Raymond spotted the Portakabin and marched straight in.

Mad Dave was sat on a black leather chair. He had his feet on a wooden desk, a beer in one hand and a copy of the Sun newspaper in the other. ‘Can I help you?’ he said, without properly looking up.

‘Yes, you can. I work for Eddie Mitchell and I’m here on his behalf to collect the eight thousand pound that you owe him.’

Mad Dave took a large gulp of beer, burped, then threw his head back with laughter. ‘You’re ’aving a giraffe, ain’t yer, mate? So you’re telling me that that mug Eddie Mitchell has sunk so low in his fuckin’ business empire that’s he’s sent some teenage kid round to threaten me?’

Raymond grinned. ‘I’m not a teenage kid and I’m not threatening you. I’m just asking for the dosh that you owe.’

Mad Dave cracked open another beer and downed it within seconds. ‘Do yourself a favour, kid, and fuck off home,’ he told Raymond.

As Mad Dave stood up, Raymond felt a slight twinge of fear. The geezer was fucking ginormous. ‘I don’t want no aggro, just pay me the money and I’ll leave,’ Raymond urged him.

Laughing hysterically, Mad Dave walked towards Raymond and lifted him by his new shirt and tie. ‘Go away, you silly little boy,’ he said, as he dragged him towards the Portakabin door.

As fast as a greyhound chasing a hare, Raymond pulled the knife out and shoved it straight through Mad Dave’s guts.

As he hit the floor, Mad Dave’s eyes rolled straight into the back of his head. Raymond bent down to check on him; he had seen enough dead animals to know when someone was brown bread. Desperate not to get the man’s blood on his new suit, Raymond knelt to one side as he searched through Mad Dave’s pockets. He’d spotted the safe when he first came in and it was one of them cheapies that wasn’t coded by numbers. Finding a massive bunch of keys, Raymond walked towards the safe and tried numerous ways to unlock it. ‘Come on,’ he said, as he turned key after key.

Finally, Ray felt the lock turn. He quickly grabbed all the money from inside, pocketed it, and washed the blood off his hands in the sink. Spotting a tea towel, he wiped the safe, the desk and the door. He hadn’t touched anywhere else, he was sure he hadn’t. Washing the blood off the knife, he put it back inside his jacket. His new suit was ruined. He’d caught his pocket with the knife and ripped it, and not only that, it was also sprayed with blood.

With the tea towel firmly attached to his hand, Raymond opened the cabin door. He then ran for his bloody life.

Waiting for Raymond to return was the longest wait of Eddie’s life. Ronny hadn’t helped with his stupid comments and jokes. Willing the kid to come through for him, Eddie smiled as he saw him running towards the van.

‘Drive, quick, go,’ Raymond said, as he leaped into the back.

Paulie and Ronny were stunned to see splashes of blood on Ray’s suit. He didn’t have a mark on him, so it couldn’t be his.

‘Are you OK? What happened?’ Eddie asked nervously.

Raymond was aware of his arms shaking as he put his hand in his pocket and pulled out bundles of £20 notes wrapped up in elastic bands. ‘There’s ten bundles there. I should imagine there’s a grand in each,’ he managed to stutter.

Ronny couldn’t believe his eyes. ‘What the fuck? What did you do? Whose blood is it?’

Raymond put his head in his hands. ‘I had to kill him, I had no choice.’

Uncle Reg nearly took the van straight up the kerb. He’d seen some newcomers over the years, but none like this kid. ‘Don’t worry, son. We’ll get rid of the knife and your clothes and clean you up round mine.’

Seeing the shocked expression on the faces of his brothers, Eddie burst out laughing. ‘I think Raymond’s passed his little task, don’t you boys?’ he asked sarcastically.

Paulie immediately held his hand out to Raymond. ‘Well done, mate. Welcome to the family.’

Ronny had no choice other than to do the same. ‘I can’t believe you killed the cunt. How did it happen?’ he asked in awe.

Having by now composed himself a bit, Raymond repeated what had happened in full. ‘I knew he was dead immediately. Remember, I know by the eyes, I used to chop up dead animals, didn’t I?’

Thrilled by the way Raymond had come through for him, Eddie grabbed him in a playful headlock. ‘Well you certainly chopped up a big animal back there, didn’t you, eh?’

Uncle Reg lived in Bow, and within the hour, Raymond was as good as new. A bath had scrubbed the blood away, the knife was long gone and all his clothes, including his socks, pants and shoes, had been burnt to cinders. As he sat on the armchair wearing Uncle Reg’s clothes, Raymond was enjoying being the centre of attention.