Cowboy Daddy

Amanda swayed just as Wyatt came into the room. “Hey, sit down.” She didn’t resist when he guided her to the rocking chair. He reached out with a strong arm and held it still while she sat.

“Here you go, little one.” Tara’s voice was that sing-songy variety that only a baby could appreciate. She leaned in close and settled the little boy in Amanda’s arms, which surprised her.

“Oh.” He was so tiny. The warm bundle squirmed a little until she had him nestled in the crook of her arm, his downy head leaning against her elbow.

“Why don’t you two take a bit to settle in,” Tara stepped back, snagging Wyatt’s arm and dragging him to the door. “We’ll be right out here if you need anything.” Seconds later, they were both gone, though they kept the door open and light fell into the room from the bright kitchen.

“Oh, dear.” Amanda looked down at her son. His eyes were open, staring up at her with a newborn’s fascination. “Don’t do anything, sweetie. Your mom isn’t up to much more than this.”

The baby didn’t move, just kept staring up at her, his wide brown eyes so beautiful. She swallowed the lump in her throat. Lane had been at the hospital the other night. But she hadn’t heard from him or seen him since. Where was he today? She’d thought—hoped—he’d come by. She’d hoped he would change his mind and come and take them home.

Wyatt and Tara were there in his place.

She shouldn’t feel disappointment. She shook it off, hoping her son wasn’t able to pick up on her emotions.

Slowly, she pushed against the old wooden floor with her foot, gently moving the chair, soothing her undisturbed son and herself. She couldn’t take her eyes off his sweet little face, and as she moved, she watched his eyes slowly drift closed. He fell asleep, and she reached up to run a single finger along the soft edge of his jaw. He turned his head toward the touch, his tiny lips moving reflexively.

The light in the room changed then, became shadowed. She looked up and was thankful she was sitting. Lane leaned against the doorframe, his eyes hidden as the bright light from the kitchen backlit him.

“Hello,” she whispered, afraid to get her hopes up.

“Hi.” He didn’t move any closer. “You getting settled in okay?”

She nodded. “I think so. Can you take him and put him in the crib?” She wanted so badly to do it herself, but she couldn’t. She was too sore, too tired and too weak. She couldn’t risk Lucas’s safety. He was too tiny, too fragile, too precious.

“Tara?” Lane called over his shoulder and Amanda’s sister hurried toward them. Lane stepped aside, and Tara came to take Luke.

“Thanks,” Amanda whispered. “I’m afraid I’ll drop him.” She couldn’t control the shiver in her voice.

“That’s okay. That’s what we’re here for.” Carefully, Tara settled the baby in the crib, pulling the soft blue blanket up over him. She turned to face Amanda. “Do you want to join us in the kitchen or lie down?”

Amanda’s eyes met Lane’s for a brief instant. Why was he here? Why now? Why hadn’t he helped with Lucas? Everything was wrong. He was so distant, so far away. Tears threatened and she mentally cursed him the same instant she ached for him to pull her into his arms. “I think I’ll rest.”

Tara came over to the rocker, and put her arm beneath Amanda’s. “Take it slow.” Amanda wobbled to her feet, putting her free hand on the solid arm of the chair.

“Oh, for heaven’s sake,” Lane said impatiently, stalking across the room. Before either of them could say a word, he’d swept Amanda up into his arms.

Her head spun, or at least that was the excuse that she gave herself for laying it against his shoulder.

“Don’t get used to this,” he admonished softly.

She barely had time to wonder what “this” referred to. His surly manner? The comfortable feel of the worn chambray of his shirt against her cheek? The solid warmth of his arms?

For the first time in ages she felt safe. All too quickly, Lane reached the bed and lowered her to the spread. Tara rearranged the pillows and pulled up the crocheted afghan from the foot of the bed. Lane took it from her and shook it out, tucking it around Amanda.

For an instant he paused and their gazes met. Heat washed over her, the same spark of heat she saw reflected in his eyes. If Tara hadn’t been here...

Then he blinked and hastily stepped away. He stood there suddenly looking as lost as she felt. His gaze flicked over to the crib, and she tried to read the emotion on his face, but he covered it too quickly.

The faint beeping of a cellphone had him scrambling through his pockets and quickly moving away. “Beaumont,” he answered.

She watched his brow furrow and heard the soft curse words that came past his lips. “I don’t have time for this,” he told whoever was on the other end of the line. Without another glance at her, he said, “Gotta go.” Then he was gone, out the door, with the sound of the screen slamming behind him in the distance.

“Something’s seriously wrong with that man.” Tara stood with her hand on her hips, a classic pose for Tara-the-curious as they both stared after Lane. “Wyatt says he gets these random calls and just takes off. Whoever is on the other end sure has him at their beck and call.”

“Does anyone know who it is?” Amanda asked.

Tara shook her head. “He won’t say a thing. Wyatt says he gets really ticked off if anyone even asks.”

What—or who—was Lane hiding? It wasn’t an easy task to hide anything on the ranch or in any of the local small communities, especially the nearest one, Haskin’s Corners. She racked her brain but found nothing.

And then a thought crossed her mind. A painful thought. They weren’t really a couple. What if...? No, surely she’d have heard through the grapevine. But what if there really was someone else who’d managed to steal his heart while Amanda had been busy hiding the truth and avoiding him?

Had she imagined the flash of heat she’d seen in his eyes?

Rolling over, she pulled the afghan up tighter around her shoulders. She’d hide under the covers for now—it was safer than facing the reality that she didn’t have the energy to follow him and demand the truth.

But later?

Later, all bets were off.

* * *

“ARE YOU KIDDING ME?” Lane barked into the phone. “The sun hasn’t even set!”

“Sorry, man,” the bartender at the Lucky Chance said. “He’s getting worse, Lane. You gotta do something.”

“What can I do?” Lane leaned against the far side of his truck, the side away from the house. He closed his eyes and tried not to take his exhaustion and frustration out on Sam. But he was tired and envied Mandy that soft comfy bed.

It had taken every ounce of his strength to put her down on the bed and not crawl in beside her. She’d felt so right in his arms, and the way she’d laid her head on his shoulder had him wishing—

“You coming to get him?” Sam asked.

“Yeah.” With a deep breath, he stalked around the truck and climbed in. “Give me half an hour at most. Can you keep him there that long?”

“You want me to open a tab?”

“No. But if that’s what it takes, yeah.” Lane wanted to chuck the damned phone across the pasture, but he didn’t. He shoved it back into his pocket where he’d answer it again the next time, because there was always a next time. Was he making a mistake? Aiding and abetting his father in getting even drunker? He cursed and tore out of the drive, a plume of dust billowing up from his tires.

The Lucky Chance seemed to be his dad’s favorite hangout lately. How many times in the past two weeks had he been here? Lane had lost count.

The parking lot wasn’t yet full, which gave Lane hope—for about half a minute. Until he climbed out of the truck and heard the sounds of a loud crowd coming from behind the building. With a curse, Lane broke into a run.

Easily a dozen people stood in a circle in the empty lot behind the bar. Lane shoved his way through to find his dad and another man swinging clenched fists at each other. Dust from their stumbling, shuffling feet filled the air.

Hank Beaumont looked like hell—in other words, like normal. His eyes were bloodshot, and his greasy, thinning brown hair was matted to his scalp for any multitude of reasons. His right cheek sported a jagged cut, and blood trickled down to his jaw.

The blood apparently had been oozing for a while as there were stains on the torn white T-shirt Hank wore. Dust covered his jeans and ratty boots, which meant this fight had been going on for some time, and Hank’s backside had hit the ground at least twice.

Lane cursed and strode into the middle of the crowd, hoping like hell he wouldn’t have to take the next punch to end this. “All right. Party’s over, folks.”

“No, it’s not,” Hank slurred. “I was just getting warmed up.” Hank spat and Lane noticed blood smeared on his father’s teeth. Great. He hoped it wouldn’t mean more dental work. Hank didn’t have enough money to cover something like that and now that Lane needed to give Mandy—

“I tried to stop ’em.” A tall, beefy cowboy had hold of Hank’s opponent, a young cowpoke with enough muscle to kill Hank—if he had been even slightly sober, which he thankfully wasn’t.

“That’s okay, Billy,” Lane said to the bouncer, knowing full well he probably had at least five bucks on one of the contenders, and more likely had been cheering on and not trying to stop this mess. “Come on, Dad.”

Hank pulled his arm from Lane’s grasp, stumbling backward. His dusty butt hit the ground and, after an instant, he rolled farther to the ground, laughter coming from his bloody mouth.

Laughter Lane knew would dissolve into alternating fits of rage and tears.

Billy shepherded everyone else back into the bar, promising drinks for them all. Lane expected the tab Sam had asked about to have a few extra drinks on it. Lane sighed.

“Let’s go home, Dad.” He extended a hand to his father, who surprised him by taking it, letting Lane pull him to his feet. Hank stumbled but meekly followed Lane to the parking lot. Lane just hoped his dad would fall asleep in the truck, not yammer or cry as they drove to the house.

“Where the hell you been?” Hank asked, leaning his head back on the seat.

“Work.” Lane had learned eons ago that simple, short answers were best. While Hank hadn’t hit Lane in years, there was always the possibility. And while sober Hank knew that his son had become a man, drunk Hank conveniently forgot.

“You got chores to do at home.”

“Yes, Dad. I’ll get to it.”

“I don’t want to hear none of your excuses, boy.”

“I know.” Lane wove through the hills, hoping they’d reach the house before Hank’s temper grew worse. Sometimes, Lane wondered if it might just be better to leave him to fight it off.

But Hank never won. He just ended up in the emergency room. He was too old and worn out.

“Here we are.” Lane pulled into the dirt-covered yard as close to the front steps as he could get the truck. He glanced over at the older man. Hank was out cold.

Great. Lane climbed out, opening the passenger door carefully so he wouldn’t have to catch Hank, who was leaning against it. “You gonna wake up, old man?”

Hank’s response was a resounding snore. Lane sighed and knelt down. Lifting his father over his shoulder in a fireman’s carry, he headed to the front steps. What the hell was Hank going to do when Lane got too old to carry him?

“Hey, did you know you’re a grandfather?” Lane asked the silent house. Hank snored again. “Yeah? Why, thanks, Dad. The congrats are much appreciated.”

Lane had set his father’s room up on the main floor years ago, so the trip to the nearest bed was short. He put the old man down and, except for yanking off his boots, left him.

At the doorway, he stopped and looked back. How many people did he have to put to bed in a day before he earned his own rest?

With Hank asleep like this, minus the injuries and bloodstains, Lane could almost see the man his father used to be. “Damn it, Dad.” He thought of Mandy. Thought of his son. “His name is Lucas,” Lane said softly. “And he’ll never know you. He can’t.” Lane kept walking. “I can’t.”

CHAPTER FIVE

AMAZING WHAT A good night’s sleep could do for a person. Amanda awoke to bright morning sunshine pouring in through the window and energy thrumming through her body.

The height of the sun told her it was late. In the distance the edge of the barn’s roof gleamed bright red against the vivid blue Texas sky. It felt so good to be home. Rolling over, she stretched, making sure not to pull her stitches and minding all the sore places from IVs and other intrusive...things.

She glanced over at the crib—the empty crib. Panic shot through her. She threw back the covers. Her bare feet hit the cool wood floor as her heart pounded against her ribs.

She was the world’s worst mother. How could she forget for even a second that she had Lucas to worry about and care for? How could she have slept so long when he most certainly had not slept through a—she glanced at the alarm clock that had not woken her—ten-hour night? Not at less than two weeks old.

“Ah, you’re awake.” Tara’s voice came from the doorway. Lucas was safely snuggled on her shoulder, his tiny head nestled against her neck.

All the adrenaline rushed out of Amanda’s body and gravity pulled her back down to the edge of the bed. “I am such a horrid mother,” she whispered. “And you’re a terrible sister for scaring me half to death.”

Tara laughed, used to Amanda’s morning persona. “Like I’d wake you up to tell you I was taking Lucas so you can sleep?” She rolled her eyes. “Take a shower and get dressed. Lucas and I are gonna play.”

“Play?” How did you play with an eight-day-old baby? Tara left and after several deep breaths, Amanda grabbed her clothes and headed, slowly, carefully down the narrow hall to the bathroom. She might be rested, but her body was still recovering. She didn’t look in the kitchen, didn’t glance in the living room. She didn’t want to know who saw her in this old, ratty nightgown.

Half an hour later, dressed in her normal clothes—with makeup for the first time in a while—she followed the trail of voices down the hall.

Wyatt’s household revolved around the big, airy country kitchen at the center of the house. Stepping into the familiar room, Amanda let the sense of home enfold her. Juanita stood at the giant gas stove stirring a pot that looked big enough to crawl into. Lovely, tantalizing smells wafted from it, filling the room.

Tara sat on the bench that ran the length of the big, wooden table, a cup of coffee steaming in her hands. “My play buddy conked out.” She smiled and tilted her head toward the baby swing in the corner where Lucas snoozed.

“He does that.” Amanda headed to the coffeepot and fixed her own cup.

“You. Sit down.” Juanita pointed at the bench across from Tara. “I’ll make you a good breakfast.”

“You don’t have to—”

“Don’t argue with her.” Tara laughed. “You know you won’t win.”

“Listen to your sister.” Juanita laughed, too. “She’s right.”

After a good night’s sleep, a warm shower and with one of Juanita’s amazing breakfast burritos under her belt, Amanda almost felt normal. It might have been an illusion, but it wasn’t the first time she’d let herself believe in delusions.

The quiet of the room surprised Amanda. “Where is everyone?”

“Everyone who?” Juanita was back at the stove putting biscuits in the oven. “If you wait another half hour, all the men will be back here for lunch.”

All the men? Amanda’s heart hitched. Lane?

“So, when are you going to share your secrets about you and Lane?” Tara’s eyebrows lifted as she sipped her coffee.

“There’s nothing to share.”

“Really?” She glanced over at Lucas. “He just appeared out of thin air?”

“Yep.” Amanda didn’t want to share anything with anyone. She’d grown up with next to no privacy. Tara might have turned into a beautiful, talented young woman, but she was still Amanda’s pesky little sister.

“Mom did explain the birds and bees to me, you know,” Tara teased.

“Good to know. Bet it was the same lecture I got.” She missed their mother and, looking at Lucas, her grief intensified. Not only had Lucas been conceived when Lane had comforted her as she’d grieved her mother’s death, but Lucas would never know any of his grandparents.

Lane’s mom had died when he was a kid, as had her dad. She’d always speculated that that shared loss was part of what made Lane and DJ such good friends growing up. Now, Mom was gone, too. She didn’t know about Lane’s father, and she wasn’t about to ask anyone and open that door. Admitting she didn’t know his family would not be a smart move.

“Where’s Addie?” she asked, hoping to stop the downward spiral of her thoughts and derail Tara’s curiosity.

Tara looked down with a frown. “She went back to Austin last night, after we got you home.”

That seemed strange. Addie had been with her all the way through this. “Why?”

“I don’t know.” Tara stood and put her cup in the dishwasher. “She’s acting strange. Has been since, well, since Lucas came along.”

“That’s odd. She was so thrilled, so looking forward to meeting Lucas before I had him.”

“Yeah, well, she’s not any better at sharing secrets than you are.”

Tara’s glare held a lot of meaning, but she wasn’t talking, no matter how much sisterly guilt Tara tossed her way. “At least she left us a batch of her cookies, so I’ll forgive her. Better get one before the guys find them.”

Tara stared out the window above the sink. “Hey, Juanita. Want some help? I see the dust cloud. Guys are headed back.”

And so they hustled. Amanda managed to carry the basket of biscuits and a gravy bowl to the table. She was disappointed when even that little bit tired her out.

“Thank you, but sit down.” Juanita pushed her to sit on the bench again. “I ain’t catching you if you keel over.”

“And I’m not explaining to Wyatt or Lane. You’d have to live with my version,” Tara said.

Amanda laughed. As a kid Tara’d had a reputation for never quite telling what really had happened. She’d embellished any story, creating magical worlds and fantastic images. Mom had been so surprised by the explanation half the time she’d forgotten what had happened in the first place.

The sound of half a dozen burly, dusty cowboys stomping their feet at the back door startled Lucas awake. He let out a tiny whimper, then, as the first of the men came through the kitchen door, he responded with a resounding wail. Amanda laughed, enjoying the look of total fear that transformed several of the men’s faces. Even though her nephew, Tyler, had been living here, it was clear these men were not used to babies.

“Well, now.” Juanita turned around from the stove where she’d been serving bowls of hearty stew. “That was brilliant. Well done, gentlemen.” She aimed her wooden spoon at them. “You’d all better get used to a baby in the house.” She turned back around as if the proclamation were now law, which it pretty much was.

The men filed in, filling the benches, leaving the captain’s chair at the head of the table that had been Dad’s when Amanda was a kid. “Where’s Wyatt?” Tara asked.

“He said something about going to town on an errand,” Paulo said.

“I’ll bet that errand takes him to the courthouse where there’s a pretty judge.” All the men chuckled.

“All right, boys.” Chet was the last one in. The older cowboy came over to stand beside Amanda as Tara settled Lucas in her arms. Chet made a silly face and the baby’s wail subsided to a whimper as he snuggled against Amanda’s shoulder. “There you go, little guy.” Chet tapped the tiny nose with a rough finger, which completely quieted the baby, then headed over to give his wife a brief kiss before settling in his seat.

The big kitchen table was covered with food, and the men attacked it with the same energy with which they herded steer and broke horses. Amanda leaned back and let Lucas stare wide-eyed at the men. Just as they had to get used to the new baby, Lucas had to get used to them.

The men’s friendship was warm and sweet. Amanda let herself enjoy the camaraderie. It had been years since she’d really spent any extended periods of time at the ranch, and back then her brothers had always hovered, making sure no one got too close. None of her brothers was here today. Besides, it was a bit late for their gate keeping. Unexpected though Lucas was, he was a sweet reminder of that fact.

The sound of another set of boots on the step barely broke the din of the cowboys talking and laughing. Lane stepped into the room, pocketing his phone just as she looked up to see who’d arrived. Their eyes met and his widened in surprise.

Jealousy nipped at her. Who had he been talking to? And what about? It was none of her business, she reminded herself.

Juanita wasn’t having any of the drama. “Take your seat,” she told Lane. “Food ain’t getting any warmer.” She scooped up a bowl of the steaming stew and slapped two biscuits on top.

Lane nodded to Amanda and hastily took the last seat at the table. He didn’t look at anyone else and dug into the meal as if it were the most important thing in the world.

What had she expected? That he’d rush in, as Chet had to Juanita, and give her a resounding kiss? Just the idea sent her heart to her knees.

Did these men know? Had Lane told them? Had Wyatt?

She saw several shared glances fly across the table and the light conversation fell silent. Finally, Chet leaned back. “You outdid yourself, love. Good stuff.”

All the men nodded and thanked Juanita for her work. She smiled as she gathered up dirty dishes. “Mandy and Tara helped.”

“Thanks, ma’am,” Anthony, the youngest cowboy, said. “It was mighty good.” He blushed clear up to his ears. Amanda was pretty sure it was the first time she’d ever heard him speak.

“That little one’ll grow up strong if you feed him like this.” Paulo ran his spoon around the bowl with the intensity of someone who’d rather lick the bowl.

“Would you like some more?” Amanda offered.

“No, ma’am. I’m on a diet.” He actually looked sincere. Yet he’d already had two bowls with four biscuits slathered with butter and jam.

“Uh, okay.”

“You better eat up there, Lane.” Paulo leaned forward. “Gotta keep up your strength.”

“What the hell for?” The glare Lane threw the older man held a threat.

“If that boy’s anything like you—” Paulo tilted his head toward Lucas. “You’re gonna need it.”

All the men laughed, answering Amanda’s earlier question. They knew. She glanced over at her son, nestled once again in the swing. He’d fallen back to sleep, apparently now adjusted to the men and their noise. The warm teasing between the hands was a normal part of the ranch life. She remembered it from all the visits when she was a kid. This time, though, she sensed an edge to the teasing, and couldn’t quite pinpoint why.

“Don’t start,” Lane warned.

“We got work to do, son.” Paulo’s grin widened. “We gotta get you in shape for when that boy starts walking, riding horses and—” He winked at Amanda. “Chasing the ladies.”

Amanda stared over at her son. That all seemed so far away.

“Shut up.” Lane stood and carried his dirty dishes to the sink. “Like I’d let him hang out with a bunch of misfits like you guys.” He grabbed a cup and filled it with coffee before he leaned back against the counter.

“You won’t have much choice.” Paulo was still laughing. “He’s gonna love hanging out with us.” He leaned over to Amanda. “We’ll teach him how to be a real man.”

Amanda watched the flush rush up Lane’s face. Not embarrassment. Anger. Interesting, considering Lane said he wasn’t going to be around for her and Lucas. Still, she couldn’t let this get any more out of hand. “Paulo, cut it out.” She stood and grabbed her own dishes.

She didn’t want to move any closer to Lane, but what else was she supposed to do with the dishes other than take them to the sink? And she couldn’t sit there much longer and let them harass Lane because of her. The weight of half a dozen sets of eyes on her and Lane was too much. She tried to act as normal as possible, but everyone was watching. Her bowls clattered against the porcelain sink.