Off with the Old Love

‘Sorry to spring it on you, Rachel.’ He sounded quite sincere and he seldom addressed her by her Christian name while they were working. ‘There’s always a silver lining though; I’ll be away for a couple of weeks.’

She said, ‘Oh, will you, sir?’ rather blankly. It was her headache which made her feel so depressed, she supposed.

She took a Panadol with her coffee presently and her head cleared, so that the rest of the list passed off smoothly enough even though they finished late. The Professor might be a stickler for punctuality, she reflected, going down to a warmed-up dinner, but he forgot that there was such a thing as time once he was scrubbed.

The afternoon list with the fourth consultant, Mr Reeves, an elderly man on the verge of retirement, went well. Rachel handed over to Norah just after five o’clock, and went off duty. An early night, she told herself, trying to ignore the hope that Melville would phone her. A quiet evening somewhere, perhaps outside London, where they could have a meal and talk without the constant greetings and interruptions from his friends. Rachel sighed as she got out of her uniform and pottered off to look for an empty bathroom.

But he didn’t phone; she took a long time changing into a knitted suit and then, unwilling to spend an evening in the sitting-room with the other sisters, thrust some money into a purse, and went down to the entrance. She wasn’t at all sure what she was going to do—perhaps a run in the car…

She was getting out her car key when Professor van Teule loomed up beside her. ‘Ah,’ he said sleepily. ‘Going out, Rachel?’

‘Yes—no. I don’t know,’ she almost snapped at him. ‘I just want to get away for an hour.’ She added by way of explanation, ‘It’s a nice evening.’

He took the key from her in his large hand, picked up her purse from the car’s bonnet where she had laid it, and put the key into it.

‘You sound undecided. Moreover, you don’t look in a fit state to drive a car. I’m going for a quiet potter—why not come with me? We can eat somewhere quiet and you can doze off in peace.’

She had to laugh. ‘It’s kind of you to suggest it, Professor, but I couldn’t go to sleep; it would be rude…’

‘Not with me, it wouldn’t. You need a nap badly, Rachel. You’re wound up too tightly; don’t you know that? No sign of, er, Melville?’

‘You always say “er, Melville”, as though you can’t remember his name,’ she said crossly.

‘Well, I can’t.’ He sounded reasonable. Really, it was impossible to be put out by him.

‘He’s a very busy man.’

The Professor, hardly idle himself, nodded understandingly. ‘If you had a quiet evening out of town, you’d be as fresh as a daisy in the morning and ready to go dancing again when he asks you.’

She stood looking up at him. He was kind and friendly in an impersonal way and it sounded tempting, to be driven into the country for an hour.

She asked abruptly, ‘Why do you ask me?’

‘You run the theatre block very efficiently, Rachel, and to do that you have to be one hundred per cent fit; my motive is purely selfish, you see.’

She found that his answer disappointed her. ‘Well, thank you, I’ll come, only I would like an early night.’

‘Don’t worry, I’ll see that you’re back by ten o’clock at the latest. I shall want to take a quick look at that young man later on, anyway.’

The Rolls was ultra-comfortable; she sat back with an unconscious sigh and the professor suggested, ‘Why not close your eyes until we’re clear of London? I’ll wake you once there is something worth seeing.’

‘Don’t you like London?’ she asked. Somehow she had pictured him, when she had bothered to think about him at all, as a man about town, wining and dining and going to the theatre; having smart friends.

‘No. Close your eyes, Rachel.’

She closed them and, although she hadn’t meant to, went to sleep at once.

He had turned off the motorway at Maidenhead before he woke her up.

‘There’s rather a nice pub by the river at Mouls-ford—the Beetle and Wedge—we’ll bypass Henley and go across country. It’s charming scenery and it’s still light.’

Rachel, much refreshed by her nap, sat up. ‘Sorry I went to sleep, but I feel fine now.’

‘Good. I hope you’re hungry—I am.’

He talked easily as they drove through the country roads and after a while arrived at the Beetle and Wedge. It was an old inn surrounded by trees and with plenty of garden around it. And it was cosy and welcoming inside. They sat by the log fire in the bar and had leisurely drinks and then dined generously; here they hadn’t heard of crudités. There was water-cress soup with a lavish spoonful of cream atop, followed by steak and kidney pie which melted in the mouth, and even more generous portions of vegetables. Rachel polished off the home-made ice cream she had chosen and drank the last of the claret the Professor had ordered—a very nice wine, she had observed, and he had agreed gravely; a vintage 1981 Chêteau Léoville-Lascases should be nice. He had no doubt that she would be thunderstruck if she knew what it cost.

They had coffee round the fire in the pleasantly filled bar and, true to his word, when she suggested rather diffidently that she would like an early night, he got up at once, paid the bill and settled her in the car. This time he took the main road through Henley and then on to Maidenhead and the motorway, so that they were back at the hospital minutes before ten o’clock.

It was unfortunate, to say the least of it, that Melville should have been getting into his car as Rachel got out of the Professor’s.

The Professor shut the car door behind her and she heard him say, ‘Oh, dear, dear,’ in an infuriatingly mild voice. She felt his reassuring bulk behind her as Melville left his car and came towards them.

‘Rachel? I came to take you out for a drink.’ He smiled but his eyes were angry. ‘But I see that someone else had the same idea.’ He gave the Professor an angry look.

‘Ah, Mr-er-Grant, isn’t it? Good evening. My dear fellow, how vexing for you. We have been for a run into the country. Rachel has had a busy day and so have I. We return considerably refreshed.’ He smiled gently and made no move to go away.

Rachel touched Melville on his coat sleeve. ‘Melville, I’m so sorry to have missed you. You didn’t phone—I had no idea.’

‘You’re not the only one who’s had a busy day.’ Melville’s voice held a sneer. ‘Well, I’ll be on my way—I’ll see you some time.’

He was going, probably out of her life for ever. Rachel swallowed panic. ‘Melville, I’ve said I’m sorry. If only you had let me know… Can’t we go somewhere and have a drink now?’

‘I left a desk full of work to come and see you,’ declared Melville dramatically. ‘I’ll go back and finish it.’

‘Look, can’t we talk?’ asked Rachel desperately and glanced round at the Professor, hoping that he might take the hint and leave them alone. He returned her look with a placid one of his own and she saw that he had no intention of doing that. There he stood, saying nothing, silently watching and not being of the least help. She said again, ‘Melville…’ but that gentleman turned without another word and went back to his car, got in and drove away.

‘He’ll ruin that engine,’ observed the Professor, ‘crashing his gears like that.’

‘Who cares about his gears?’ asked Rachel wildly. ‘He’s gone and I don’t suppose he’ll ever come back.’

‘Oh, yes he will, Rachel. There is nothing like a little healthy competition to keep a man interested; something which I’m sure you know already. Not, I must hasten to add, that in fact there is competition, but, there is no harm in letting, er, Melville think so.’

‘Don’t be absurd,’ snapped Rachel, and then, ‘Do you really think so? You don’t think he’s gone forever?’

Her voice shook a little at the idea.

He was reassuringly matter-of-fact. ‘Most certainly not. Men want the unobtainable, and you were unobtainable this evening—you are a challenge to his vanity.’ He sighed. ‘You don’t know much about men, do you, Rachel?’

She said indignantly, ‘I have three brothers…’

‘That isn’t quite what I meant. I dare say you boss them about most dreadfully and take them for granted like an old coat.’

She stared up at him. ‘Well, yes, perhaps. But Melville’s different.’

‘Indeed he is.’ His sleepy eyes searched her face. ‘You love him very much, do you not?’ He added, ‘pro tempore,’ which, since she wasn’t listening properly, meant nothing to her; in any case her knowledge of Latin was confined to medical terms.

‘Go to bed, Rachel.’ His voice was comfortably avuncular. ‘In the morning you’ll think straight again. Only believe me when I say that your Melville hasn’t gone for good.’

She whispered, ‘You’re awfully kind,’ then added, to her own astonishment as well as his, ‘Are you married, Professor?’

‘That is a pleasure I still have to experience within the not too distant future. Run along, there’s a good girl.’

Emotion and the Château Léoville-Lascases got the better of her good sense. She stood on tiptoe and kissed his cheek and then ran into the hospital.

She felt terrible about it in the morning; thank heaven he had no list, she thought as she went on duty. She opened her office door and found him sitting at the desk: immaculate and placid, writing busily.

He glanced up at her. ‘Oh, good morning, Sister. Can you fit in an emergency? Multiple abdominal stab wounds—some poor blighter set upon in the small hours. Mr Sims has a list, hasn’t he?’

‘Not till ten o’clock, sir.’ Rachel had forgotten any awkwardness she had been harbouring, for the moment at least. ‘I can have theatre ready in fifteen minutes; Mr Sims could do his first case in the second theatre—Norah’s on as well as me.’

“‘I’” corrected the Professor. ‘Very well, I’ll give Mr Sims a ring.’ He gave her a casual glance. ‘I’ll be up in twenty minutes if you can manage that.’

She nodded, rather pink in the face, and left him there to go into theatre and warn her nurses.

It was just as though last night had never been. The Professor duly arrived, dead on time as usual, with George to assist him, exchanged a few friendly remarks of an impersonal nature with her, and got down to work, and when he was done and they were drinking their coffee in her office, he maintained a distant manner that vaguely disquieted her. She had felt awkward at first, but now she was worried that the calm relationship they had had been disturbed.

He went presently, thanking her as he always did, and she set about organising the rest of Mr Sims’s list, thankful that the transplant had fallen through.

She worried about it all day, feeling guilty because only every now and then did she remember Melville. But once she was off duty, Melville took over. Perhaps he would phone, she reflected, and hurried to shower and change just in case he did and wanted her to go out. But he didn’t; she spent a dull evening in the sisters’ sitting-room, watching a film she had already seen on TV and listening to Sister Chalk criticising her student nurses. I’ll be like that, thought Rachel desperately, unless I marry and get away from here. She said aloud, breaking into Sister Chalk’s soliloquy concerning a third-year nurse who had cheeked her only that morning, ‘I’m going to bed; I’ve had a busy day.’

George had a short list in the morning; Rachel left Mrs Pepys to scrub after the first case and went into the office to catch up on the paperwork. She hadn’t been there ten minutes when the phone rang. It was Melville. She had made it plain when they had first met that he must never ring her during duty hours and she felt a small spurt of annoyance because he had ignored that, but it was quickly swept away with the pleasure of hearing his voice.

‘Melville…’ She tried to sound severe, but her delight bubbled through. ‘I’m on duty—I asked you not to phone when I’m working.’

‘I’m working, too, darling Rachel, but I can’t concentrate until I’ve told you what a prize moron I was last night. Put it down to disappointment. Say you forgive me and come out this evening.’

She hoped he hadn’t noticed the short pause before she answered. ‘Yes’ was ready to trip off her tongue when she remembered the Professor’s words. Men wanted the unobtainable; OK, she would be just that for this evening at least. She was a poor liar for she always blushed when she was fibbing, but there was no one to see now so that she sounded convincing enough. ‘I can’t. I know I’m off at five o’clock but they’re doing a couple of private patients this evening.’

‘The quicker you leave that damned place the better—talk about slavery…’

She said reasonably, ‘Not really—I shall get my off duty hours made up to me when we’re slack.’

‘And when will that be?’

‘I could get a couple of hours added on to my off duty tomorrow.’

‘That’ll make it when?’ he sounded eager.

‘About three o’clock for the rest of the day.’

‘I’ll be outside at three-thirty. We’ll drive somewhere and have a quiet dinner.’

‘That would be nice. Melville, I must ring off.’ And she did. Usually she waited until he had hung up, but the Professor had given her ideas…

Since only one theatre was in use for dentals the next morning, Rachel had plenty of time to decide what she would wear. Norah was off duty but she and the second part-time staff nurse would be on again at two o’clock. In the meantime Rachel handed forceps and swabs and mouthwashes and wished that Mr Reed, the dentist, would hurry up. When finally he finished and had been given his coffee it was time for first dinner. She left two student nurses to clean the theatre and went along to the canteen.

It was fish pie, turnips and instant mash; although she was hungry she only half filled her plate. Melville was fussy about his food and always took her somewhere where the cooking was superb.

There were half a dozen of her friends already sharing a table and she joined them, pecking at the wholesome food with such reluctance that Lucy asked her if she was sickening for something.

‘Just not hungry,’ said Rachel, who was. She filled her empty insides with tea and went back to the theatre. Norah had just come on duty and there was little to do. They planned a wholesale cleaning operation, leaving one theatre free for any emergency which might come in, decided that Mrs Crow, the part-time staff nurse on duty for the afternoon, could scrub for the three cases of tonsillectomy, and conned the next day’s list.

By then it was three o’clock; half an hour in which to make the best of herself. Rachel raced through a shower, brushed her hair until it shone, plaited it neatly into a bun again, and went to study the contents of her wardrobe.

It would have to be the suit again, but this time she would wear the pale pink blouse with it. She thrust her feet into high-heeled shoes, found gloves and handbag and, with an anxious eye on the clock, went down to the forecourt. She was a little late and she hadn’t yet learned to keep a man waiting; indeed, the reverse, growing up as she had with three brothers.

Melville was waiting and his greeting was everything a girl could wish for; she got into the car beside him feeling on top of the world, and she stayed that way for the rest of the afternoon and evening. He had never been so amusing nor so anxious that she should be enjoying herself. They had tea in Richmond and then drove on through Hampshire and into Wiltshire to stop in Marlborough and dine at the Castle and Ball, a pleasant and comfortable hotel, but not, thought Rachel fleetingly, Melville’s usual kind of place in which to eat. As though he had heard her unspoken thought, he said lightly, ‘I had thought of going to Marlow—the Compleat Angler—but this place is quiet and the food is good.’ His glance strayed over her person making her aware of the suit he had seen several times already.

‘I’m not dressed for anything four-star.’ She wasn’t apologising, only stating a fact. ‘This looks very nice.’

That was the only small fly in the ointment. They lingered over the surprisingly good dinner and it was after ten o’clock by the time they got into the car again. It would be midnight before she reached her room and she was on duty in the morning. Not that that mattered; she was so happy she didn’t give it a second thought.

Melville drove back to London very fast, not saying much. He was tired, she decided, and so said little herself. They were back before midnight and although he kissed her and declared that he had enjoyed every minute of it, he made no effort to delay her; indeed, he leaned across and opened her door with the remark that he would see her just as soon as he could, and drove away before she could do more than utter the most cursory of thanks.

The poor dear, she found herself reflecting as she went inside, he works too hard. Professor van Teule was crossing the entrance hall; Melville wasn’t the only one to work hard, but she didn’t dwell on that, she would have found it strange if the Professor hadn’t. Come to that, she worked hard herself, but she didn’t dwell on that; either. She was remembering the delights of the evening and turned a smiling face to him as their paths crossed. She wished him goodnight in a cheerful voice and he answered her with his usual courtesy, glancing with deceptive sleepiness at her happy face. The night porter wondered why he should look so thoughtful as he went out to his car.

Rachel didn’t see him the next day; Mr Jolly had a list and Mr Reeves had the second theatre in the afternoon. She went off duty at five o’clock after a routine day, changed and went to the local cinema with two of her friends. It was a tatty place but showed surprisingly good films, and strangely enough although the neighbourhood was prone to muggings and petty thieving, the staff of the hospital, even out of uniform, were treated with respect. They had coffee and sandwiches at Ned’s café, opposite the cinema, and went back to make tea and gossip over it until they decided to go to bed.

Norah had days off and Rachel, going on duty in the morning, remembered with a sigh that Mrs Pepys would be on duty from nine o’clock until three in the afternoon, which meant that the student nurses would be in a state of rebellion by teatime. She could hardly blame them; Mrs Pepys was tiresome at the best of times and not of much use, for the Professor had indicated months ago in the nicest possible way that he preferred not to have her scrub for him. There were three heavy cases and he would be doing them all, which meant that Mrs Pepys would be left with the afternoon dentals and laying up between cases, two tasks she felt too superior to undertake.

She would do them, of course; Rachel had a quiet authority which made itself felt upon occasion.

She checked the theatres, gave the student nurses their allotted places and went to scrub. She had laid up the trolleys for the first case when the Professor put his head round the door. His good morning was genial. ‘There’s a man downstairs I’ll have to patch up when he’s fit enough—can we add him to the list?’

She wondered what he would say if she said no; something soothing and courteous and the man would arrive in the theatre all the same.

‘Certainly, sir. Mrs Pepys will be on at nine o’clock and can take dentals this afternoon so it won’t matter if we run late.’

‘Norah not here?’

‘Days off.’

‘Time you had yours, isn’t it?’

‘When Norah gets back.’

He nodded and his head disappeared and presently, when they were ready for him, he came back with George and Billy beside him. His ‘Ready, Sister?’ was calmly impersonal and a moment later he was bending over his patient, absorbed in his work.

It was more than two hours before the patient was wheeled away.

‘Coffee?’ asked the Professor, straightening his great back, and, without waiting for an answer, he wandered out of the theatre.

Mrs Pepys was on duty by now. Rachel left her to lay up for the next case, sent two of the nurses to their coffee and repaired to her office. Dolly had carried in the coffee tray and the four men were crowded into the small room, waiting for her. She handed them their mugs, took the lid off the biscuit tin and put it on the table where everyone could reach it. They devoured biscuits as though they were famished and she made a mental note to supplement the meagre supply she was allowed from stores with a few packets of her own. They drank and munched in a pleasant atmosphere of camaraderie, and the talk was of the patient who had just gone to the recovery room and the next case. Dolly came to refill the coffee pot and Rachel slipped away to see what was going on in theatre. The student nurses were back from their coffee and she sent the third, junior nurse to the canteen and suggested that Mrs Pepys should go at the same time. ‘And when you get back will you get ready for dentals?’ suggested Rachel. ‘There’s an extra case coming up and we shall be late. Mr Reed’s got three patients—you’ll be ready well before three o’clock, so clear up as far as you can, will you? I’ll need all the nurses I’ve got as well as Sidney.’

Mrs Pepys gave her a cross look. ‘If you say so, Sister.’ She flounced away and Rachel turned back towards the theatre to find the Professor standing behind her. She had let out a gusty sigh and he asked, ‘Is she a trouble to you, Rachel? Shall I get her moved?’

She looked at him in surprise. ‘She’s annoying, sir, but she does her work—I’ve no good reason for her to be moved. It’s only her manner.’

‘She scares the little nurses, does she not?’

That surprised her, too; she hadn’t credited him with noticing that. ‘Yes, but I make sure they come to no harm. It’s nice of you to notice, though.’

He turned away. ‘Well, let me know if you need help at any time.’ And, over his shoulder as he went, ‘Are you going home for your days off?’

She felt herself blushing, which was silly. ‘I—I don’t know. It depends…’

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