The Cowboy's Unexpected Family

“I was worried about the boys.”

They looked at each other and laughed. Pansy gave a shy smile from the shelter of Daisy’s neck.

Cassie gave the little gal some study, taking in her wondrously big blue eyes that, in a few years, would bring grown men to her beck and call, and her fine blond hair that could use a combing. Suddenly she realized all the children were travel soiled. They would need baths and food and clean clothes and—

The enormity of the task she had taken on hit her like a falling pine. How could she possibly manage?

She sucked in air to relieve her anxiousness. It was a business arrangement that would result in having her house built, she told herself. It would help her achieve her dream. It was temporary and two of the kids were big enough to lend a hand. She could do this. She pushed her shoulders back as if stepping into a harness, and like a horse leaning into a load, she turned toward the fire.

Daisy followed on her heels. “I intend to do my share around here.”

“Fine. Let’s get the dishes done then heat water for baths.”

“I guess we are pretty dirty. Mama would scold us for sure.” Her voice quivered.

Cassie faced her. “I expect she would be proud that you’ve managed so well.”

Daisy nodded. “Roper said Ma and Pa would be proud of us.”

“Indeed.”

She washed the few dishes, handing them to Daisy to dry. Pansy sat at Daisy’s side, content to watch. As soon as they’d washed and dried the last cup, Cassie dragged out the big tub.

Roper saw her intent and he and Neil hauled more water from the nearby river.

As the water heated, Roper finished the walls and somehow built a frame for the roof on which to drape the canvas he purchased from Macpherson. With Neil’s help he brought over the stove Cassie had ordered and set it up in the new shelter.

Cassie eyed it with joy. She’d be able to start baking bread for Macpherson and paying off her loan a lot sooner than she’d anticipated.

With the kids helping, Roper soon had Cassie’s bed roll in one corner of the shelter, furs and blankets arranged for the children next to her bed. The stove and a crude table he’d put together made an area where she could work and feed the kids.

They dragged the tub under the canvas and filled it with water.

“I’ll bathe Pansy,” Daisy insisted.

Cassie didn’t protest. She hadn’t ever bathed a baby. Nor a two-year-old. Her heart clenched as she recalled her hope for babies. Twice she’d thought she’d welcome an infant into her arms but twice it wasn’t to be. They had never drawn breath after their births.

She turned away, unable to catch her breath, and slipped outside before anyone noticed.

Roper found her there. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” She stared toward the sun dipping behind the mountains and breathed slowly, evenly.

He gently touched her shoulder. “Are you regretting your decision?”

“It was an act of God.”

His fingers tightened on her shoulder. “Are you talking about the children?”

She closed her eyes and pushed back a groan. Of course, he meant the children in the tent. “No, I don’t regret my decision. It will benefit me to get my house up as soon as possible.”

“You didn’t mean the kids, did you?”

His quiet question, the gentleness in his voice tugged at her soul, made her want to wail out her pain. But she’d learned to hide her hurt, bury her feelings. She didn’t know any other way of dealing with life. “I better go check on them.”

He blocked her retreat. “I think they can manage quite well without us. Let’s go for a walk.”

“I’m really too tired.”

“I want to show you where I’ll set up my camp in case you need me for anything.”

She stiffened her spine. “I think I can manage.”

He chuckled. “I’m sure you can but this is a business deal, remember? The kids are my responsibility.”

Somehow he had taken her elbow and herded her toward the river and a grove of trees.

“I’ll take the tent that collapsed on you and pitch it here.” He pointed. “If you need me, you have only to holler.”

“I won’t be hollering.”

“I expect not. But I feel better knowing anyone could and I’ll hear them.”

He meant the kids could call for him. “Why would they need you when I’ll be right there in the same tent or whatever you want to call it?”

“No reason. Just as there’s no reason to get all prickly about it.”

“Prickly?” She swallowed hard. “If I am it’s because you make me sound like I can’t manage on my own.”

He held up his hands in a sign of protest. “It never crossed my mind.”

“Well, then. So long as we understand each other.” She headed back to her site.

He chuckled softly, and followed her. “Oh, I get it.”

She ignored the note of triumph in his voice. How could he possibly comprehend? He had no idea of the events that had shaped her life and made her want nothing half as much as she wanted to be independent. Self-sufficient. “I don’t need anyone,” she muttered.

“Sounds mighty lonely to me.”

“You can be lonely with people around.” Thankfully they had reached camp and he didn’t get a chance to respond.

The sound of giggling stopped them, and they listened.

“That’s about the happiest sound in the world.” Roper seemed pleased, content even.

“How can they be happy? Their parents are dead. They’re orphans.” Their lives were full of uncertainty.

“A person can be as happy as they make up their mind to be.”

She’d heard the words before. “Linette said the same thing when we first arrived at the ranch.” She didn’t believe it was that simple any more now than she had then. People made demands of a person that made happiness impossible. It was why she intended to survive on her own.

“I figure you might as well choose to be happy as miserable.”

She heard the shrug in his voice. “Sometimes it isn’t up to you.”

“I suppose you’re right in the sense that our lives are in God’s hands and ultimately we have to trust Him. But knowing that makes it easy to enjoy life, don’t you think?”

Grateful for the dusk that hid her expression, Cassie murmured a sound that could be taken as agreement if he chose to interpret it as such. But inside, protests exploded. Didn’t God let man have a choice? Because of free will, not all men lived by God’s rules. Not all people were kind. Not all of life could be enjoyed.

She realized Roper was waiting for her answer. “Sometimes you have to work to get what you want from life. I trust God to help me achieve my goals.” Saying it out loud solidified it in her mind. God had given her the opportunity to own a plot of land and now, by caring for the children, she would get her house built much faster, and no doubt better, than she could have done it. God had given her what she needed. She would apply all her skill and strength to making it work. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to take care of my share of the responsibility.”

“And I need to get my camp set up while I can still see.” Still, he hesitated as if he wanted something more.

She searched her mind but could think of nothing more she needed to do. “Good night, then.”

“Good night. Call out if you need anything.” He turned and strolled away.

She watched until he dipped down toward the creek, out of sight. Yet she felt how close he was, how ready to come to her rescue.

He would soon learn she could manage on her own.

Chapter Three

Roper tethered the horse nearby then pitched the tent. When he finished, it had a nice taut roof line. He gathered up firewood and built a fire.

He stretched out on the bank, stared at the flickering flames and listened to the murmur of voices from up the hill. Everyone was secure and happy. He’d managed to deal with two issues at the same time. He could help Cassie put up her house and keep the kids safe and together.

More than that, he’d played with the boys and seen them relax. Now to do the same for the girls. Daisy took her responsibilities so seriously it might take her a while to let go. But Pansy could well prove the greatest challenge of them all. She was so young. So shy. He smiled up at the star-laden sky as he recalled how she ducked her face into Daisy’s shoulder when she made eye contact. She was comfortable enough to laugh only when Neil or Daisy held her.

But Roper wanted to see her comfortable enough to let Cassie and himself hold her and play with her.

All he had to do was gain her confidence.

He also meant to get Cassie to stop trying so hard. What was she aiming to prove, anyway? Everyone knew she could do whatever she set her mind to. She was like a stubborn badger in that way.

He’d once watched a furry little badger digging a hole, dirt flying faster than a man could shovel. The badger encountered a rock in his path and simply dug around it.

Cassie was almost as belligerent as a badger, too.

Why didn’t she accept life and enjoy it? Made no sense to fight it all the time.

He smiled as he thought how to deal with the quintet up the hill. In the morning he’d spend some time playing with them so they’d forget their troubles.

His breath eased out in a long contented sigh. He’d struck a great bargain in getting Cassie to agree to help him with the children in exchange for him putting up her house. He chuckled into the dark. What had she planned to do with that pile of lumber without his help? He could picture her fashioning a structure as shaky as the tent she’d put up.

Why was she so prickly about accepting help? He could build a good solid-frame house in a matter of days.

Mentally he planned the construction. He might have to drag it out longer than necessary in order to care for the young ’uns until their uncle made arrangements. But Cassie would know if he purposely dillydallied. He’d need a solid explanation she’d accept.

He sat up briskly and drew his knees to his chest. “Of course. That’s the answer.” She’d need a cellar to store her supplies in. It would take him a few days to dig one. Satisfied with his plan, he lay back again.

The sounds from up the hill subsided. Everyone was tucked in for the night. He kicked sand over the fire and went into the shelter of his tent. But he didn’t immediately fall asleep as he normally would. Instead, he thanked God for the opportunity to take care of both Cassie and the youngsters.

* * *

Next morning Roper was up with the dawn and bagged four partridges. He dressed them and roasted them over his fire. By the time he heard Pansy’s shrill voice, the birds were ready for breakfast and he marched up the hill.

Neil and Billy were outside, bleary-eyed in the morning sun.

“Morning, boys. I brought some breakfast in case anyone’s hungry.”

Both pairs of eyes immediately lost all sleepiness.

“I’m hungry,” Billy said.

“Never mind him. He’s always hungry.” But Neil’s gaze didn’t waver from studying the roasted birds.

Daisy led Pansy from the tiny abode. As soon as the little one saw Roper, she lifted her hands to her sister and insisted on being carried.

What would it take to get the littlest one to warm up to him? At that moment, Cassie stepped out, head down as she fingered her hair into submission in a ragged bun. Her distraction allowed him plenty of time to study her. Her black hair glistened like sun off water. She had a leanness to her that once made him think her frail. She’d soon disabused him of that notion. She was about as frail as a sapling clinging tenaciously to the side of a mountain in the midst of winter storms and summer heat. His heart sunk to the bottom of his chest. He’d had little success getting her to warm up to him.

Cassie grew still and sniffed, catching the scent of his offering. She lifted her gaze—full of interest until she saw him. Then the interest faded to resistance.

Must she always be so prickly?

“Brought breakfast,” he murmured before she could say anything.

She opened her mouth, glanced around at the expectant children and closed it again as if she needed to reconsider her reaction. “I expect the children are hungry. I’ve got a few more biscuits, as well.” She ducked back inside and reemerged with a pan to put the birds in and tin plates for everyone. “I dug out the dishes from my supplies.” She passed around plates for each.

“Guess I’ll need to build us a table and benches.” He slipped the birds from the spit as he talked and wiped his knife on his pant leg before he set to carving them.

The children watched in total fascination. Even little Pansy, although she kept her face pressed to Daisy’s shoulder, watched his knife slice off portions, drool wetting her sister’s dress. Seems it had been a few days since this bunch had had a good feed. He put a piece on each plate and Cassie added a biscuit. The youngsters perched on logs but no one took a bite.

Roper sent Cassie a questioning look. She shrugged. Then her mouth pursed as if she realized something. “I expect you’re all waiting for someone to say grace.”

Four heads nodded.

“Ma said we should never forget to thank the good Lord for His mercies,” Daisy said.

“I sure am thankful for breakfast,” Billy said. “It smells awfully good.” He swallowed hard.

Roper blinked as every pair of eyes turned to him. “Me?”

“You’re the man,” Neil pointed out. “Ma said it was a man’s job to lead the family. I said grace when Pa was away.” His chest swelled with pride then sank again. “But I’m just a kid.”

The expectation of these youngsters made Roper want to stand tall. Yes, he was a man. One who seldom thought to say grace when he was out on the trail and this wasn’t much different. Not that he couldn’t. But at the cook shack, Cookie or her husband, Bertie, said grace. It had been a long time since he’d spoken a prayer aloud. In fact—

“I could do it if you want I should,” Neil offered in an uncertain voice.

“No, I’ll do it.”

The children reached for each other’s hands. Billy reached for his hand on one side. That left Roper with one hand to extend toward Cassie. He hesitated. Would she refuse this gesture?

Daisy gave them both a look that was half scolding and half confused.

He reached for Cassie’s hand and she slipped hers into his as she darted a look at him from under black eyelashes. One eyebrow quirked as if daring him to read more into this than he should.

A grin threatened to split his face.

She sighed, and nodded toward the cooling food.

Still smiling, he bowed his head. Suddenly his mind went blank. What did Bertie or Cookie say? He should be able to remember. Cookie, especially, bellowed the words loud enough to brand them on his brain. “Dear God. Thanks for the food. Thanks for health and strength.” Cookie normally said more. Sometimes a whole lot more but he must have paid more attention to the aroma of the food waiting his attention than the words because they had disappeared. “Amen.”

The children attacked their food.

He didn’t realize he held Cassie’s hand in a deadly grip until she jerked his arm to get his attention. With an unrepentant grin, he freed her. He held her gaze for several seconds before she huffed and turned to her food. He got a kick out of teasing her.

A few minutes later the children finished and stared at the slower adults.

He felt their unasked question. “What?”

Neil and Daisy exchanged a silent look that spoke volumes.

“Spit it out.” He swallowed the last bit of biscuit and put his plate on the ground before him. “You might as well say what’s on your mind. After all, we’re going to be together for a time.” He figured it would a few days for the Mountie to take care of his business. He hoped he could then persuade the man to leave the children with them while he contacted the uncle. Daisy nodded. “Ma made us promise we’d make sure the little ones are raised right and that we continue some of our practices that both Ma and Pa held as important.”

He guessed Daisy was going someplace with this information but he had no idea where and turned his questioning gaze to Cassie, wondering if she got the drift, but she merely shrugged.

“What practice did you have in mind, Daisy?”

Daisy glanced at Neil who nodded encouragement.

She took a deep breath. “Ma, and Pa before he left, always read to us from the Bible after breakfast. And they prayed for us to have a good day and be safe. You could be like Pa.”

Roper stared. He guessed he looked as surprised as he felt. Being raised in an orphanage, he had no knowledge of this kind of thing. Of course, he knew families had traditions but he thought that meant trimming the Christmas tree or going to Grandma and Grandpa’s house for Sunday dinner.

He swallowed hard and clamped his lips together. The idea of playing pa to these youngsters...

It sounded mighty appealing but he had no idea how it was done.

He managed to find his voice. “I got no Bible.”

Daisy turned to Cassie. “Do you?”

She nodded. “I’ll get it.” She hustled to the shelter, and disappeared from sight. They all stared after her.

Roper had to wonder if the children felt as awkward as he. But likely not. This was familiar to them.

Cassie returned and handed him a Bible bound in brown leather. He trailed his fingers over the soft cover.

“It was my husband’s.”

He lifted his head to meet her gaze. He knew she’d been married before. Their first introduction referred to her as a widow. Yet holding this solid proof of a lost love did something unsettling to his insides. “You sure you don’t mind us using it?”

She shrugged. “It doesn’t do much good tucked in the bottom of a bag, now does it? Besides, the children have made a request. Shouldn’t you try and fulfill it?”

He opened to the first page. Presented to George James Godfrey on the occasion of his sixteenth birthday by his loving parents.

Swallowing a lump of guilt, feeling as if he had inadvertently ventured into private territory, he quickly turned the page. This certifies that Cassie Ann Muddbottom and George James Godfrey were united in Holy Matrimony. He sputtered back a snort of laughter. Muddbottom. Some of his mirth leaked out. He felt Cassie’s considering look and flipped the page. Births and deaths. He should not read this. It was too personal. But his eyes did not obey his brain. Baby boy Godfrey. Baby girl Godfrey. She’d had two children? Where were they? The answer lay in the record before him. They were born and died the same day. Oh, Cassie. I had no idea. If they’d been alone he would have spoken his sympathy. Maybe even risked her ire by pulling her into his arms and patting her back.

Instead, he sucked in a gulp of air and continued turning pages till he got to the pertinent stuff. He cleared his throat and read, “‘In the beginning God...’” He read to the end of the chapter then slowly closed the book.

The children sighed as if content. The feeling lasted about thirty seconds before he realized they waited for him to pray for their safety throughout the day. Just as their pa had.

He sat up taller and squared his shoulders. He wasn’t their pa, but he could do this. “Let’s pray.” They all bowed their heads. Even Cassie. His throat tightened as he glanced at them. Maybe this was how fathers felt, though he wasn’t sure how to describe the feeling. Protectiveness, or responsibility or... He swallowed back a lump at the word that sprang to his mind. Joy. Joy at such a privilege. It was his first real taste of being part of a family and he rather liked it. Even as a portion of his brain reminded him of one of his rules. Don’t put down roots. You’ll only have them ripped out. It wasn’t a lesson he cared to repeat.

He ducked his head before anyone wondered what took him so long. “Dear God in heaven, who made the earth and everything in it, please watch over us today. Keep us safe. Help us be happy. Amen.”

Daisy got to her feet, shifted Pansy farther up her hip and gathered up the dishes with her free hand. “I’ll wash them.”

Neil headed for the water bucket. “I’ll fetch more water.”

Billy glanced about. “What should I do?”

“Get more firewood,” both older children said at once and the entire family set to work.

Roper fingered the Bible on his lap. He wanted to say something to Cassie about her losses. But he didn’t want to upset her. Seemed being reminded of two dead babies and a deceased husband just might do that. But he enjoyed sitting by her side and didn’t want her to leave. “Do all families do that?”

She jerked and seemed to gather herself up from some distant spot. “Do what?”

“Read the Bible and pray each morning. Is that what all families do?”

She turned then and considered him with such brown-eyed intensity he had to force himself not to squirm.

“I’m guessing they didn’t do so in the orphanage?”

“Nope. We stood for grace. Ate quietly and without complaint even when the food was thin gruel, then gathered our dishes and carried them to a big tub before we marched to our classrooms.”

“No Bible instruction?”

He chuckled at the idea of wasting time on such an activity. “On Sunday we were given religious instruction. When I was about ten there was a sweet old man who came in and told Bible stories and made it seem like fun. A lot of us became believers when he was there. But he only came a couple of years. The rest of the time we had stiff preachers who intoned a sermon for us.” He realized his voice imitated their mind-numbing monotone and he grunted. “Haven’t thought about it in a long time. I remember the sessions were so boring some of the little ones would fall asleep. If they were caught they’d be punished. I made sure they didn’t get caught.”

Her eyes sparked with curiosity and a warmth that sent satisfaction into his soul. He liked having her regard him with eyes like that.

“What did you do?”

“To keep them from getting caught? If we were allowed to sit where we wanted, I sat with the little ones and played finger games that didn’t attract any attention but kept the little ones watching.” He illustrated by having the fingers of one hand do a jig on the back of the other. “It was nothing special but they had to keep alert to see when I’d do something.”

“And if you couldn’t sit with them?”

“Then it was harder. But one of the things I did was send a tap down the line. Everyone would pass it on to the little ones.”

“Seems you felt responsible for the younger children.”

He considered the observation. “It wasn’t really responsibility. Not like Daisy. It was more like I wanted everyone to be happy.”

Her grin tipped the flesh at the corner of her eyes upward. “I think you haven’t changed a great deal.”

He tried to think how he felt about her evaluation. He decided it was true and he didn’t mind that she’d noticed something he did without thinking about it. “Back to my original question.” He tipped his head to indicate the circle where the children had sat. “Is it normal? You have a family. Is that what you did?”

Her eyes darkened. The smile fled from her face. What had he said to bring such distress to her face? Whatever it was, it had been unintentional.

But how could he undo it when he was at a loss to explain it?

* * *

The ground beneath Cassie’s feet seemed to tip as a thousand memories crowded her mind. “My father died when I was nine so I don’t recall much about being a whole family.” Except she suddenly did. “I remember sitting on my father’s knee as he read aloud. We were in a rocking chair. A lamp glowed nearby so it must have been evening. Mother was in the kitchen so it was just me and...” She stopped the words that had come from nowhere. Just her and those comforting, secure arms. “Just me and my father.” The memory ached through her. She concentrated on breathing slowly and deeply. She forced strength into her voice. “Seems I recall my father reading to me at night. He heard my prayers before Mother tucked me in and kissed me good night.”