Twin Wishes

Julianne reached into the cupboard over the sink to pull out a bag of chocolate chip cookies and ate a handful of them without counting. Losing pets was nothing compared to losing someone. Little Nora and Todd crossed her mind for the umpteenth time since she’d returned home. How very young they were to let go of their mother. “Lord, if I can help them in some way,” she breathed the prayer, “then use me to do so, I pray. Help me to be comforting, loving, nurturing…whatever it is those kids need while they’re with me. Lead me and guide me to know what to do, what to say, when to hold them, when not to… You know I need Your help with these two children more than any of the others in my class, Lord. Please help me.” And He would, Julianne was certain as she put the sack of cookies away. She’d learned to trust God more over the past year than she ever had before. He’d helped her through the miserable breakup with her longtime boyfriend.

Julianne sighed as she headed toward the bathroom to gather up her dirty clothes for her weekly trip to the laundromat. She’d almost married Craig Johnson. It sent shivers down her spine to think how close she’d come to trusting her future to a man with so little compassion. Where had her own good judgment disappeared to?

The bag of laundry Julianne lifted was not heavy since it was filled with mostly lightweight summer outfits. With the detergent and fabric softener she needed waiting in the basket, she slipped her feet into a pair of leather sandals and was ready to go.

Thank the Lord, Craig had dumped her, Julianne thought and then gave a soft laugh. If he hadn’t, she might have blundered ahead into a marriage that wouldn’t have worked. And then, what? She wondered momentarily. No husband, no children… What would she have done?

She picked up her canvas purse, tossed it into the basket and headed for the front door. What would she have done? She wasn’t sure what the answer to that question might be, but she was certain she’d have found one, sooner or later, with the Lord’s help. She always had in the past…in every way except one. And she was confident, even in that area of her life, an answer would come. Just because she couldn’t see the solution now, didn’t mean it wasn’t there. She trusted her life to the Lord completely. He’d guided her through many difficulties, saved her from a life with Craig and He would make it clear, at some point, how she was supposed to move ahead to the life she wanted…even without the ability to have children. But for now, she had work to do. Pushing her hair back over her shoulder, she headed toward Fairweather’s only laundromat. She wouldn’t worry about being lonely tonight. There was always someone to talk with while the machines were running.

Luke finished cleaning up the kitchen and went to the living room to check on the twins, who were noisily playing with Nora’s large plastic kitchen set. Just as Luke stepped into the room, he saw Nora pick up a plastic toy spatula and hit Todd on the head with it. Todd whirled around, swinging at his sister and the fight was on.

“Whoa, kids. No fighting. You know the rules,” Luke said as he separated the two with an easy movement. “Nora, tell Todd you’re sorry for hitting him.”

“No!” she answered. “He took my job. I was rinsing the dishes in the sink until he pushed me away.”

“I just wanted to do what Dad was doing,” Todd yelled his reply. “He was in the kitchen washing dishes. That should have been my job.”

Luke shook his head. “Anyone can rinse the dishes. Dad, mom, boy, girl…it doesn’t matter. Everyone needs to take a turn. That’s the part you need to learn. Taking turns. Now, Nora—”

“No!” she shouted and ran toward the staircase. “It’s my job. A girl’s job. A mom’s job!”

Luke watched her go, letting her run up the steps by herself as she ran to her room. He placed a hand across his mouth and lowered his head in a moment of complete frustration. He knew exactly what Nora meant. Kimberly had been responsible for “kitchen duty,” as he used to call it. It had only become Luke’s job out of necessity.

“Come on, Todd. Let’s go upstairs and talk to Nora.” Father and son climbed the steps slowly, hand in hand. Comforting his children hadn’t gotten much easier with time, and Luke wished he could reach a point where he felt he was good at it. Or adequate, at least. Then there were those times when Luke wished he had someone to comfort him. The Lord he’d turned his back on was his best hope for that, he knew, but he was still too angry to look to his Heavenly Father for help. God hadn’t answered his last prayer the way Luke had wanted. He’d found no reason to think anything would be different this time.

“Reverend Ben. How nice to see you,” Julianne said as she looked up from folding clean towels.

Reverend Benjamin Hunter smiled. “Good to see you, Julianne. Laundry night for you, too?” He reached into his pocket for coins.

“Afraid so,” she answered. “But I thought the church board voted to have a washer and dryer placed in the parsonage for you.”

Ben nodded. “They did, but they just haven’t gotten around to it yet.” Quarters clinked into the washer closest to where Ben was standing. “So, how’s everything with you, Julianne? We missed you in service last week.”

“I have an ‘excused absence,”’ Julianne offered with a smile. “I was in Minneapolis visiting one of my brothers. He’s getting married soon, and this will probably be the last chance I have to spend a weekend with him—just the two of us.”

“Well, I hope you had a good time,” Ben remarked. He dumped a basketful of clothes into a second machine. “We had someone new with us last Sunday. Maggie’s brother Luke and his twins were there.” He closed the lid and glanced toward Julianne who was busy stacking clean clothes into her basket. “I thought of you.”

Startled, Julianne stopped what she was doing and met Ben’s gaze. “Me? Why?”

Ben grinned. “Probably because Maggie had mentioned to me a time or two—or more—that you could be just what Luke’s children need right now.”

“They’re in my class at the center,” Julianne acknowledged. “Today was their first day.”

“How’d it go?”

She shrugged. “Okay, I think. They let their father leave for work this morning without any tantrums. That was a very good sign.” Julianne returned to stacking her laundry and then gathered up her belongings, including the latest romance novel she had just finished. “They seemed to genuinely like me.”

“I can’t imagine anyone feeling otherwise,” Ben commented before taking a seat in a nearby chair. “But I want you to be careful, Julianne.” He paused. “The O’Hara children’s needs are great, and I know what a nurturing, giving soul you naturally tend to be. I’m worried you’ll be hurt.”

“I love all the children in my class. Nora and Todd O’Hara will be no different.”

“They are very different. Nora and Todd need a mother,” Ben corrected. “None of your other kids fall into that category. And Luke O’Hara may not be ready for another relationship. I know how badly you want children, Julianne, and I believe the Lord will work that out for you, somehow, in time. But give Him time, don’t rush ahead.”

“If you and I didn’t already know we weren’t exactly meant for each other, I’d think you were jealous, Reverend Benjamin Hunter,” Julianne teased.

“I’m just worried about you,” he replied.

“I’m not interested in becoming the next Mrs. O’Hara, if that’s what you’re thinking,” she assured him with a disbelieving shake of her head, her blond hair swishing gently against her neck. What would make Ben think such a thing? “And I’m not considering kidnapping Nora and Todd to keep them for my own, for heaven’s sake. They’re just two kids in my class, and I’ll do the best I can for them during the hours I’m with them.” She scooped up her basket and belongings. “From the way you’ve been talking, I suspect you’re the one who’s been reading the romance novels.” She grinned at him in amusement.

Reverend Ben shook his head and gave a quiet laugh. “No, I’ll leave those to you. But think about what I’ve said.”

Julianne agreed with a nod. Then she headed toward the double doors to exit the laundromat. “Thank you, Ben. I’ll talk to you later.” She’d probably see him the next day at the center, she knew. Most days she did run into him since Reverend Ben and the day-care center shared a secretary by the name of Emma Fulton. Now, there was someone who would love the book Julianne had just finished reading. But Julianne wasn’t sure she wanted to put any more notions of romance in Emma’s head than were already floating around in there. The woman had done everything in her power to throw Julianne and Reverend Ben together some months ago since Emma had decided that Julianne would make a perfect pastor’s wife. Ben and Julianne had finally gone out together and discovered that what each had found was a new friend. Nothing more. But that date with Reverend Ben had helped Julianne get over her fiancé, and she soon decided she was ready to try a new relationship—whenever the right person came along. And, so far, he hadn’t appeared. Or, if he had, she hadn’t recognized him as such.

A short time later, Julianne climbed the stairs to her apartment as quickly as she could, considering her arms were full with a basket of clothes. She’d heard the phone ringing from the sidewalk below.

“Hello, yes,” she answered, nearly out of breath after grabbing up the phone. “This is Julianne Quinn. Who’s calling, please?”

“This is Luke O’Hara…Maggie’s brother,” came the reply.

Chapter Two

Julianne let her laundry basket drop to the floor. Why would he be calling her? At home like this? “Yes, Mr. O’Hara, is something wrong?”

“No, but I just spoke with my brother-in-law, Frank Wren, and he suggested I call you since Maggie wasn’t available. He gave me your number. I hope you don’t mind.”

“No, that’s fine. I don’t mind. How can I help you?”

“I was wondering if I could drop off the kids earlier in the morning than originally planned?”

“Well, yes,” Julianne replied. “I’ll be there early. What time did you have in mind?”

“Around seven? Would that be okay?”

“Yes. That’s fine. I’ll be looking for you…for the kids, I mean. Thank you for calling.”

Their conversation ended, and Julianne sat down, sinking into the nearby sofa. Thank you for calling? “What a stupid thing to say,” she lamented aloud to no one but herself. “He called to ask me a question about the center, and I acted like I was grateful for the opportunity to speak with him.” She got up and walked into the kitchen to get a cold soda from the refrigerator.

“What do you think, Goldie? Have I been listening to Reverend Ben and Maggie too much? Everybody seems to expect me to fall for this guy. I’d better be careful or they’ll have me believing it, too.”

“Maggie!” Julianne called out as she saw Frank Wren dropping off his wife in front of the center early the next morning. “Wait up!” She ran the last block to catch up with her friend.

“Good thing you wear those running shoes,” Maggie remarked, glancing down at the sneakers that clashed with the pale pink blouse and gray skirt that Julianne wore. “You couldn’t move that fast in heels.”

“Maggie, why did Frank tell your brother to call me last night? He could have easily answered any question Luke had about the daily schedule here at the center. Luke didn’t need me—”

“Oh, he needs you, Julianne. He just doesn’t know it yet.” Maggie smiled. “Today’s going to be a beautiful day, don’t you think?”

“C’mon, Maggie,” Julianne responded. “You’re starting to remind me of Emma Fulton. Your brother and I barely know each other’s names, let alone the idea of anything more. He doesn’t need me, I don’t need him and I wish you, Reverend Ben and anyone else who thinks we might be interested in each other—”

“Reverend Ben?” Maggie interrupted. “What did he have to say about all of this?”

“Nothing. Nothing important, anyway,” Julianne replied. “Maggie, please don’t force this thing. It’s awkward, it’s uncomfortable.” And that was only the beginning of how odd it felt. The whole idea of being interested in some man she’d met only yesterday seemed unbelievable.

Maggie looped her arm through Julianne’s as they walked together up the front sidewalk to the center. The patriotic wind catcher of red, white and blue that Maggie had put up yesterday flapped in the early morning breeze. “I don’t want to push too hard, Julianne. I really don’t. But I just have a feeling that you and Luke—”

“Now you really do sound like Emma Fulton. Remember how anxious she was to pair me up with Reverend Ben?” Julianne stopped walking. “It just doesn’t work that way. Forget about ‘fixing me up’ with the first eligible man that comes along, and quit trying to solve your brother’s problems for him. People need space, Maggie. We need to solve our own problems, find our own way through life. I’m sure Luke would say that he feels the same if you took the time to ask him.”

But Maggie wasn’t asking. Or listening, apparently. “So, did the two of you have a nice conversation on the phone last night?”

Julianne groaned in frustration. “Are you paying attention to anything that I’m saying?” she asked her friend before turning to continue their walk to the front door.

“I will pay attention if you tell me something good about your talk with Luke.”

“The only good thing about it was that it didn’t last long. It was awkward and unnecessary. Frank could have told Luke he could bring the kids in earlier than he planned without my input on the matter. You know that.”

Two cars pulled into the parking area beside the building. It was time for their day to begin, and Julianne had some work to do in her room before the children started arriving.

“There’s Betty,” Maggie remarked as she watched their director getting out of her vehicle. “She had dinner last night with Warren again. That’s the third evening this week they’ve been out together. Maybe Warren Sinclair would be a good man for Luke to meet. You know what I mean, Julianne? Warren lost his wife about a year ago, and he’s been able to get on with his life.”

Julianne sighed and walked through the heavy wooden door. Arguing this matter with Maggie was obviously hopeless until Maggie actually started listening, and Julianne had work to do before her classroom was invaded by four-year-olds.

A short time later, a light rap on Julianne’s classroom door alerted her to the fact she’d neglected to open the door for the parents to enter.

“Miss Quinn?” It was Luke O’Hara’s voice. Low and quiet. Just like it had been on the phone last night.

Julianne pulled the door open the rest of the way. “Come on in, Mr. O’Hara. Good morning, kids. How are you today?”

“Okay,” Nora and Todd answered almost simultaneously as they burst through the door and ran toward the play area in the rear of the classroom. “Let’s get the animals out,” Nora suggested, and Todd followed her lead.

“They’ve been up for over an hour,” Luke remarked, watching his kids begin busily playing with toys they’d grown accustomed to in only one day. “They really seem to like it here.” He looked from his active children to the young woman who had made them feel comfortable and accepted yesterday—enough so that they were anxious to return again today. So, this Julianne Quinn that his sister had bragged about might really be as good with children as Maggie claimed she was. She’d certainly worked wonders with his twins the first day. Maybe it was that soft voice, he considered. That same thought had occurred to him last night when they’d talked briefly on the phone. Julianne had a soothing manner in the way she spoke. It was something the children could respond to favorably. Who wouldn’t? he wondered momentarily, then dismissed the thought. He had a busy schedule today. There wasn’t enough extra time in his day to ponder the qualities that made Miss Quinn a good teacher. “I’ll be back around four-thirty this afternoon,” he stated matter-of-factly.

“All right, Mr. O’Hara. We’ll look for you then,” Julianne replied and smiled at the tall man who stayed near the door as he watched his kids play. His hair was combed casually to the side and slightly windblown, Julianne noticed. She had this unexplainable urge to reach up and smooth it back into place. The thought startled her, and she glanced nervously away from Luke. Maybe she’d been listening to too much of Maggie’s rhetoric. “Enjoy your day, Mr. O’Hara,” she added in a very businesslike tone. “Don’t worry about your children. I’m sure they’ll be fine here at the center.”

Something had changed her mood abruptly, Luke was aware by the tone of her voice, but the cause of the change eluded him. Then again, women quite often were hard to understand as far as he was concerned. Kimberly certainly had been, and even his own sister was, at times. But he didn’t want to think about that now. The work he had lined up with several branches of a bank in Minneapolis awaited him, so Luke thanked Miss Quinn for her help and turned to leave the room. He was halfway down the hallway before he missed that fragrant flower scent that had lightly hung in the air in Julianne’s classroom. He recalled that Nora had remarked yesterday that her teacher “smelled good.” Now that he thought about it, he realized he agreed with his daughter.

But that second day in Miss Quinn’s classroom didn’t go quite as well as the first for the O’Hara twins. Things seemed fine and all six of her children were busy and content until late in the afternoon when the skies outside turned stormy. They were in the activity room playing ball when a tornado siren unexpectedly sounded, upsetting all of the kids in Julianne’s group. Especially Nora and Todd O’Hara. Julianne sent her teaching assistant down to Betty Anderson’s office for help, and soon Betty was filling in for Maggie Wren with her group of newborns while Maggie hurried to her niece’s and nephew’s sides. It took the comfort of Aunt Maggie’s hugs to stop their crying and settle them down enough to get through the remainder of that day.

Fortunately, Luke finished his work early due to the inclement weather and came to pick up the twins ahead of schedule. Nora, Todd and Julianne were all relieved to see him walk through the classroom door just as another clap of thunder crashed outside. The children ran into their father’s arms with fresh tears and stories of the awful siren that had frightened them and how Aunt Maggie had come to “save” them.

Julianne gathered up Nora’s and Todd’s art projects they’d worked on in the morning and slid them carefully into the backpack they’d brought with them. Her assistant continued reading to the rest of the children, who were all seated in a circle, while Julianne spoke with the twins’ father.

“I’m sorry, Mr. O’Hara,” she offered quietly, frustrated and overly apologetic about not being able to console the twins by herself. She’d tried every way she knew to soothe their fears but had failed, and it discouraged her. She realized she’d underestimated the difficulties she might face with these two youngsters who had lost their mother. Her disappointment showed in the downward turn of her mouth, and Luke saw for the first time something other than confidence in the young teacher’s expression. It looked a little like insecurity. Now, there was something he could identify with.

“Nora and Todd are fine, Miss Quinn. No harm done,” he remarked while picking up his daughter, who had finally stopped crying. Todd’s arms remained wrapped securely around one of his father’s legs as Luke continued. “We can’t…I mean, I don’t expect things to go perfectly. Just do the best you can with them. That’s all I’ve ever managed to do,” he stated. “And Maggie’s available when you need her. She’s the reason we moved here.”

Julianne caught her lower lip between her teeth and nodded her head, grateful for his understanding words. “I guess we should both thank God for Maggie.”

But the straight line of Luke’s mouth didn’t give a fraction of an inch in either direction. “You’ll have to thank Him for me, Miss Quinn.”

“I will for now,” she answered, remembering Maggie’s mention of Luke’s lost faith…and ignoring the warning that it was a subject better left alone. “And, maybe, someday, you can do so for yourself again, Mr. O’Hara.”

Luke’s blue eyes lit with what Julianne fully expected to be irritation. But if she’d have known him better, she’d have recognized it for what it was—simple surprise that this young woman, who couldn’t be more than a few years out of college, would be so frank in her remarks to a man at least a decade older—a man in his position in life.

And just what was his “position in life,” Luke suddenly wondered as he and the twins said goodbye to Julianne Quinn and made their exit from the center. He was…what? A father, the owner of his own business, a good provider for his family, a successful landscaper with excellent references, a widower. And, he had to admit, a man who only listened to his children’s bedtime prayers instead of joining in.

That thought stung him as he lifted Todd into the extended cab of the truck. Nora scrambled in behind her sibling, and Luke helped them with their seat belts while his mind raced with discontent. Life had changed in so many ways this past year. But they were here, now, in Fairweather, Minnesota, close to his sister where he felt they belonged. This change was a good one, the right one. It had to be. He needed it to be.

Luke climbed into the pickup just as he noticed how dark the skies looked for so early in a summer evening. His wife had loved gray, dreary days. The cooler, the better. She said they reminded her of her childhood in New England, where she’d grown up. Home, she’d called it—regardless of the many years she’d lived in Chicago. That had bothered Luke. He’d wanted home to be where he was, where they were making a life for themselves, raising their children. He hadn’t asked her to move to Chicago. She was already living there, managing several dress shops, when he first met her. So, why had her homesickness for New England made him feel guilty? The answer to that question, he’d not found; but he’d taken some comfort in the fact that he’d arranged to have her buried there. At home. In the space next to her mother and father, both of whom had preceded her in death.

He started the truck and headed toward Olaf’s Deli where he needed to buy milk and bread—necessities for breakfast in the O’Hara household.

“Daddy, can you get us some pickles?” Todd asked when his father pulled into a parking spot in front of the deli.

“Sure, son. C’mon,” Luke answered, helping both kids out of the vehicle. “Let’s go. Don’t run.”

The children ran through the front door toward the huge jar of whole pickles kept on top of the meat case. Luke bought several, together with the other items on his mental list. Maybe a scrap of paper and pencil would have been more reliable, but he hadn’t taken the time to jot anything down. He rarely did. That also reminded him of Kimberly, almost as much as stormy days did. She’d been a chronic list maker, systematically marking off the numbered items as she completed them. All of that organization had disappeared from his life with her departure. And where had God been during all of that? Where was He now, Luke wondered.

“Can we eat the pickles now?” Todd was begging while Nora was busy reaching for the plastic bag that held their snack.

“Wait until we get home, you two,” Luke answered. “You’ll want drinks, too, and I don’t have any in the truck. Come on, we’ll be there in five minutes.”

The kids didn’t seem to mind another night of frozen dinners in their small utilitarian kitchen filled with only the basic appliances. They ate their fish sticks, French fries and peas, and then rushed into the living room to watch a favorite cartoon while Luke cleared the table. It was when he was adding today’s dirty silverware to yesterday’s in the dishwasher that he suddenly noticed the mostly bare counters. The only homey touches were a basket of now wilting flowers that Frank and Maggie had sent and a large ceramic cookie jar with a comical cat painted on the front that Maggie had purchased, filled with homemade goodies and delivered on moving day. Luke had meant to buy some cookies from the bakery and replenish the supply, but he’d forgotten to do so. Maybe, tomorrow, he told himself. Maybe tomorrow, he’d get things right. But, deep in his aching heart, Luke knew his sister had been accurate. She’d warned him that nothing would be really right with him ever again, not until he made peace with the Lord he used to trust. Luke knew that would not happen until he could pray again…and he wasn’t sure that day would ever come.